not-doing-anymore-of-this

Luztoye: Dad Edition/Parent AU Head-canons

was working on something that may or may not be my big bang (it’s not) and started having Luztoye as parents feels so…here’s something.

-       She looks just like Joe. Black hair, dark eyes, sun-kissed skin and a crooked smile. George couldn’t be happier

-       George is a natural with her, having spent most of his life taking care of his siblings he knows what to do and not to do. He knows that she’s not going to break.

-       Joe is overly careful and nervous. He holds her close with awkward elbows and hunched shoulders, afraid to hold on too tight, but also constantly worried he’s going to drop her

-       Her dark curls are pulled into pigtails, her mostly empty backpack is more than half her size, and her small hand is engulfed by Joe’s as she grips it tightly as they walk into her first day of school

-       Christmas is always filled with more presents than necessary. Every year they say they’ll cut back, but once it’s that time of year again Joe looks at the mound of presents under the tree (and these aren’t even the ‘Santa presents’) and sighs. All George can say is “what? Joe it’s Christmas!”

-       When she’s six years old, Joe sits her down on the couch and informs her that today she’s going to get a very important present. He proceeds to turn on his Nina Simone albums and they listen and dance to Ms. Simone all afternoon

-       George is usually the one to attend the different school functions as Joe has a harder time socializing with the other parents. Also, George thinks it’s probably safer after Joe very nearly punched some other father after they accidently ripped one of the pictures that had been hanging on the wall that she had drawn for class

-       When she’s seven, they get called in by the school because she hit a kid in her class. Though usually they both love how similar to Joe she is, they both start to worry that she may be a little too much like him. That is, until they get to the school and are informed that she hit the boy because he had been teasing her and stole one of her bows. When the teacher tries to tell her that it just means the boy likes her, George interrupts saying “excuse me, no, we’re not teaching our daughter to expect to be treated poorly as a form of affection. That kid doesn’t have a crush on her, he’s just a dick.”

-       When they leave the office, George tells her that hitting people is not the way to handle her problems, but he also gives her a high-five and takes them all out for ice cream

-       Joe stays up late often, reading through her textbooks, in the hopes that he’ll be able to help her with her homework. He’d stay up all night, but eventually George will gently coax the book out of Joe’s hands, pulling him to bed, assuring him that she’s doing just fine in school

-       She and George are absolutely unbearable to watch movies with. They both will watch the same movies over and over again and she’s picked up George’s penchant for quoting along with the movie, or making up her own dialogue for the characters. Joe refuses to watch a movie with either of them if they’ve already seen it

-       George tries to reason with Joe, assuring him that she’ll survive one day without her backpack, and that it’ll teach her a lesson where she will probably never forget it again. “She has to learn through mistakes, Joe, she can’t just expect us to come fix everything for her,” he tells him. Joe grips the bag in his hand for a moment, looking torn, before setting it back down on the chair where she left it.

-       When George leaves the room it’s only a few minutes later that he hears the sound of the car starting and he walks back into the living room to see that the bag is gone. He rolls his eyes, but can’t help the smile that grows on his face because of the once big bad Joe Toye who is now completely wrapped around the finger of a small child

-       They become less and less thrilled by how much she resembles Joe as she gets older and becomes more and more beautiful, and they realize that more people are starting to take notice of that fact

-       They don’t let her date until she’s fifteen, when George realizes that they’re going to have to relent eventually and he’d rather she goes with their permission and with someone they’re able to vet beforehand, instead of rebelling due to their overprotectiveness

-       Joe takes a lot of convincing and George has to make him promise he won’t scare the kid off when he comes to pick her up. When the kid knocks on the door Joe opens it and notes how nervous the poor kid is, he’s overdressed and keeps wiping his shaking hands on his slacks, so he decides to take it easy on him. They’re sitting in the living room when George walks in, looks at the both of them, then glares at the kid and goes into the whole ‘what are your intentions with my daughter’ spiel. Though he plasters on a happy, supportive face in front of her

-       Once he closes the door behind them he turns back to Joe. “What the hell was that?” he exclaims. “Me? You’re the one that’s lost his damn mind,” Joe counters. “You were just sitting there all buddy buddy with the guy who is taking our daughter out to do god knows what!” “First of all, they’re going to a movie, it’s the middle of the afternoon, she’ll be home before dinner. Second of all, you spent a week telling me not to do what you just did!” “Well I figured you’d at least do your quiet intimidation thing, make the kid uncomfortable enough that he knows not to try anything. I just didn’t want you to make him cry.” Joe pulls George into a hug and promises to stand in the corner, glaring, the next time she has a date

-       Only George is allowed to teach her how to drive. Joe is, according to her, too judgmental, even when he hasn’t said a word

-       The first time she gets her heart broken they surprising seem to change their standard roles. It’s Joe who makes her hot chocolate and holds her as she cries into his shoulder, and strokes her hair until she falls asleep. While George paces and rants about killing the punk kid who dared to cheat on his daughter!

-       George is endlessly delighted when he finds out that her friends consider Joe a DILF, much to their daughter’s mortification. Joe just rolls his eyes when George informs him of his DILF status, but he’s sure he’s a little proud, which he should be, since he’s continued his regular workout routine after all these years

-       The first night she’s away at college they don’t talk much, trying to figure out how to get into their new dynamic

-       When she graduates college, there is nobody in the crowd prouder than Joe

-       For someone who never cared much for talking to strangers most of his life, Joe sure does spend a lot of time telling anyone in listening distance that his daughter is a doctor

-       At her wedding, she makes a speech where she thanks her fathers for the fact that she’s never had to wonder what it feels like to be loved unconditionally

Do people even WRITE/DIRECT/ACT characters like they’re more than  plot devices anymore ???

context : zombie apocalypse, Hero and his family are rescued on an aircraft carrier.

Military High Ranking Dude: we need your help

Hero: nope, can’t do, can’t leave my family, find someone else

MHRD: *blandly blackmails Hero into compliance by telling him that the boat doesn’t take non-essential personnel*

(WHICH IS A VERY GOOD POINT)

Now, putting aside the absurdity of the hero’s refusal, which could merely be a choice in characterization, can I just? Go insane? about how much not-a-person MHRD is? Is MHRD’s own family on the boat? Hasn’t MHRD lost anyone in the outbreak? Haven’t MHRD’s men and women lost people either? Why would you, as a writer, a director, an actor (I don’t know who to blame) avoid a GOOD opportunity for emotion? To actually give us substance about this world? about the loss, the struggle, the grief?

I mean :

Military High Ranking Dude: we need your help

Hero: nope, can’t do, can’t leave my family, find someone else

MHRD: *with a snarl* Listen here you-… *takes a breath, calms down forcefully* *maybe gestures towards the marines about the platform* How many families do you think we shelter here? blablabla

or

MHRD: *coolly leans in* You’re not the only person worrying about their family. blablabla

YOU GIVE YOUR SECONDARY CHARACTER SOME HUMANITY AND AT THE SAME TIME QUESTION YOUR PROTAGONIST AND WORLDBUILD I MEAN SHIT HOW IS THAT NOT SOMETHING COOL