kajiyafujiiro  asked:

It's Dick's fault that everybody believes that Bruce is older than them, people expects that if you're the parent figure of a 15 yo you're at least 35 and married.


“22 year old puts on bat costume to punch criminals, has no powers” is hard enough to wrap your head around but throw in “24 year old adopts 12 year old who also punches criminals, has no powers” and that is not something that would ever occur to anyone

like OBVIOUSLY batman must be an older man who knows what he’s doing, and not just some traumatized 20-something accidentally collecting traumatized children

haha wow referring to bruce wayne as a 20-something really puts things in perspective. batman: probably actually younger than joey from friends.

Originally posted by icy-brunette

I think I forgot I was watching a Batman show. Like I completely forgot what universe this was in and I completely forgot what Oswald and Ed were going to be in the future. I just saw them as Ed and Ozzie. 

And then I was like. Yo man did Batman ever know how gay Oswald was for the Riddler cause damn.


I voice Talon in DCAbridgedUniverse’s Court of Owls Abridged.

Trick-Or-Treat - Damian Wayne x Batmom

Prompt: Hey! I love your writing and this Halloween idea that you’re doing.. I feel like this has probably been requested but batmom! x Damian where she takes him trick or treating for the first time with some cute bonding?!? Love your blog so much❤️ (requested by @its-electric-love )

“Nightwing, you take the missing persons reports in the East End. Red Robin, you have the recent cyberattacks on Wayne Enterprises RnD server. Red Hood: a major trafficking deal is going down at the docks tonight. Save the citizens, no one dies.” Bruce commanded instructions out to each of the boys for tonight’s patrol.

“Why do you always feel the need to tell me that? Kind of unfair.” Jason said defensively crossing his arms over his chest.

Tt. He mentions it because you’re a trigger happy moron Todd.” Damian bit back with a frown. Jason turned to Damian and looked just about ready to start a confrontation.

“Alright boys, there’s no need to fight.” You reprimanded. Jason visibly calmed at your interference but Damian remained defiant.

“Damian.” Bruce said sternly which worked to divert his attention away from Jason.

“Yes father?” Damian asked obediently.

“You will be going undercover tonight with [Y/N]. There are rumors that trick-or-treat candy in city might be contaminated. I need you to discreetly take samples and report back with your results.” He explained. The two of you exchanged a knowing look that the others failed to catch on to.

“Wait. He gets to go trick-or-treating while the rest of us are working? That’s really unfair.” Jason complained.

“It’s an investigation, Jason.” You reasoned gently in your signature mom voice.

“Yeah and if just so happens to get more candy than he could possibly eat, it’s just a perk of the job right?” Tim piped up.

“If you all finish your work early you are more than welcome to join us on our investigation.” You offered diplomatically.

“Runt better share.” Jason grumbled as he stormed off to hop on his bike and ride off to start his work for the night. The others soon left after Jason to go about their duties. Bruce stopped briefly to lean down and press a kiss to the top of your head.

“Good luck tonight, love.” He whispered.

“Go save the day, Batman.” You smiled reassuringly at him. Bruce squeezed your shoulder supportively before turning to head towards the Batmobile. He gave Damian a waring ‘behave yourself’ look as he passed.

“Do I have to wear a stupid costume?” Damian sighed after his father left.

“No you can be Robin if you’d like. Halloween’s just about the only day you can get away wearing your uniform undercover. I just need a little wardrobe change and then we can leave.” You said with a little smirk as you made your way into the locker room where your uniform for the night lay waiting. You quickly changed into the costume and stepped out with a dramatic flair of your cape.

“Ta da!”

“Batman?” Damian asked with an unimpressed quirk of his eyebrow.

“Close. Batmom. It was your father’s idea.” You clarified.

Tt. Whatever.” Damian rolled his eyes. So much for tonight being about bonding. All you wanted was for your fiance’s son to accept you, on any level. You told Bruce that you refuse to marry him unless every one of his children was ok with it. He understood your hesitation but for some time now Damian was the last to accept you. You hated to keep Bruce waiting this long but you weren’t about to become a Wayne if his youngest son resented you. So in an effort to give you and Damian some much needed bonding time, Bruce suggested you take him out for Halloween in the guise of a mission.

“Well this case isn’t going to investigate itself. Let’s get a move on!” You said cheerfully.

You were only trick-or-treating and uselessly testing candy for traces of contamination for about an hour before Damian caught on.

“This isn’t a mission, is it?” He asked in a tone of annoyance. You sighed at being caught far before you could even attempt to bond with him. Tonight was such a terrible idea. You both should have known it would have never had worked but you were just so desperate for some sort of breakthrough. You had been with Bruce for nearly five years now and Damian still just barely tolerated your presence.

“No it isn’t. Your father thought you could use a night off to be a normal kid.” You explained.

My father thought he could force me to like you if we were forced to spend time together.” He said with an angry pout.

“That too.” You sighed and moved to sit down on the steps of a building who wasn’t participating in the night’s festivities. You took off your cowl and hung your head shamefully in between your knees. “Am I doing something wrong, Damian? Please if I am, tell me. I want nothing more than to be at least amicable towards each other.” You asked with a hint of desperation in your voice. Five years and nothing has changed between you and Damian. Maybe this was your sign that it wasn’t meant to be. To your dread Damian remained silent.

“I can’t marry your father -”

What?” He cried in sudden outrage.

“Let me finish. I can’t in good conscious marry your father knowing that not all of his children approve of me. I’ve been trying so hard since we’ve met to get your approval, but nothing I do or say seems to change your mind about me.” You said defeated.

“You … you won’t marry father because of me?” He asked incredulously.

“I won’t marry your father because I don’t want to intrude on your family when not everyone isn’t comfortable with me being there.” You clarified. “Damian, if you don’t want me to be a part of your family only say the word and I’ll call everything off.” You swore with tears stinging at your eyes. You didn’t want to leave but if you weren’t wanted you didn’t want to be the cause of a rift in the family

“You would do that?” Damian asked softly.

“Of course.” You whispered weakly, not daring to meet the child’s gaze. Suddenly you were thrown back where you sat as Damian tackled you into a tight hug.

“Please don’t leave.” He pleaded. “You’re the most tolerable woman that father has ever brought home. I don’t want you to go.” Damian whispered against you while he hugged you tightly to him. You couldn’t help but to smile and wrap your arms around him in return.

“Really?” You asked. Damian nodded silently against you.

“Please marry my father.” He asked. You smiled warmly and agreed to his request.

“Do you want to continue trick-or-treating? Your brothers shouldn’t be done with their missions for some time.” You suggested kindly. “You don’t have to share your candy with them if you don’t want to.” You offered noticing his hesitation. Damian looked up at you and gave you a broad grin.

“Deal.” He agreed hopping up off the stairs and pulled you to continue working your way down the street. You pulled your cowl back over your eyes and you and Damian continued trick-or-treating for a few more hours until you headed back to the manor. Bruce and the rest of the boys were all in the cave when you got back. Damian walked past them all, giant bag of candy in hand as he moved to go change out of his uniform. Jason tried to snag the bag away from him but Damian brought it to his chest protectively before Jason could get a good grip on it.

“Mine!” He cried possessively. He angled his body away from his brother who was trying in vain to steal a piece of candy from Damian’s bag.

“Mom! Tell the demon to share his candy! I had to work all night!” Jason complained looking to your for intervention.

“Mom said I didn’t have to share.” Damian retorting, sticking his tongue out at Jason tauntingly. Instead of retaliating Jason and everyone else froze in stunned silence at what had just left Damian’s mouth. Your heart swelled and your hand flew up to your mouth to cover your growing grin.

“Oh my god.” Tim breathed in shock.

“He - did he just call her ‘mom’?” Dick asked looking at everyone else to make sure he wasn’t just hearing things. Damian’s cheeks flared up in a deep blush.

“No I didn’t! I - I” Damian stuttered over his words. Bruce walked over to his son and put a comforting hand on Damian’s shoulder. Bruce gave him a proud look but otherwise said nothing on the subject, instead choosing to deflect everyone’s attentions.

“What do you say we all go up and watch a Halloween movie or two? Popcorn and candy all around!” Bruce suggested to everyone. That seemed to distract everyone well enough. They all started to make their way up the steps to the main part of the manor. Bruce hung back and wrapped his arms around your shoulder giving you a sweet lingering kiss when everyone’s backs were turned.

“We’re not watching Rocky Horror again, Jason!” You heard Tim cry out in protest.

“Shut up, nerd! It’s a classic! Just because you don’t understand it …” Jason shot back loudly.

“No one understands it!” Tim shouted. You sighed against Bruce’s lip and he started to chuckle.

“Damage control?” You asked Bruce with a quirked eyebrow.

“Welcome to the family, Batmom.” He said humorously as he led you up the stairs to break up whatever war was looming between your sons.