not tf2

💮 Happy Pride month with pride birds! 💮

anonymous asked:

Oh also I keep misreading Orion as Onion - Cryptid Anon

You hear a great rumble from outside. It shakes deep into your body, several books tumble from their shelves. You sprint to your front door, throwing it open. The sky is dark. You check your watch, it’s only 18:00. Dark storm clouds swirl and churn overhead, and the air buzzes with hot static. The road in front of you tears apart, forming a cavern at least one hundred meters across. Heat comes in waves, making your face warm and your eyes sting. A colossal figure begins to rise from the underworldly crevice. It’s form is completely obscured by dark smoke, but you can tell it’s not something you’ve seen walk this earth in many years. You remember the post you made earlier, a feeling of dread settling in the pit of your stomach. You caused this. You hear people yelling and sobbing up and down the street, the occasional poor soul toppling into the inferno. The figure stands to its full height, towering over the houses, spectating it’s new throne. You know what you must do.

You run back into your house, socks sliding on the hardwood. You hear another guttural crash from outside. You need to act fast. You throw open the refrigerator, tearing through it as if you’ve gone mad. Throwing your food aside, you find it: a juice packet with the unmistakable “Capri-sonne” logo emblazoned across it. Clutching the silvery packet, you run back outside. You can only hear the blood beating in your ears as you near the edge of the crack. It’s hotter than you could ever imagine. Your chest heaves as you suck in the stingingly hot smoky air. You thrust the packet up over your head, launching it up at the colossal creature. It’s ominous silver-grey eyes see the packet immediately. It moves one molten hand towards it, catching it and closing its fist around it. You hear the quiet hiss as it burns up in its palm. Your heart sinks as it stands and stares. You must have been mistaken, no. No. No, you can’t have ended the world like this.

However, your instincts were not wrong. The creature kneels in its ravine, tucking its head down. It melts slowly back into the fiery hell from which it emerged, the road sealing itself over it. The sky begins to clear, the suffocating smoke dissipating. The only remnants of its brief reign are your ruined refrigerator.