not even humour can make me deal with this

Mrs Kirk {Part 2}

Originally posted by fanfic-natic

Fandom: Star Trek

Pairing: Jim Kirk x Reader  (She/Her identifying)

Warning: Accidental Marriage + Little bits of panic/angst

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @thequeenofthehobbits

Summary/request: You and Jim get married. Accidentally. On a new federation planet. Without knowing about it. Turns out its legally binding. Fuck.

Part 1 XPart 3 X

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Early Morning Sunshine

A little fic for @sketchy-milk . Thank you for the coffee! ^_^

“No,” Denmark grumbles as the sun hits his face through the gap in the curtains. “Too early,” he hissed and burries his face underneath the covers.

“Rise and shine,” Norway replies and ruffles his hair affectionately.

“It’s four in the fucking morning,” Denmark whines. “I’m not getting up!”

“Correction, it’s five thirty,” Norway replies and pries the covers away from Denmark’s face to kiss the tip of his nose.

“That’s still too early,” Denmark grumbles and refuses to open his eyes.

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Dear Taylor….

My name is Becks, I’m 18 years old and I’m from the U.K. We’ve never met, and I don’t know if we ever will, but there’s a few things I would like you to know.

You’ve gotten me through the most difficult times in my life.

When I was 10, my mum was diagnosed with cancer and I was terrified. Literally terrified. I remember asking her “are you going to die?” and for her to reply “I don’t know” was the worst feeling in the world. That feeling of uncertainty was something I never wanted to feel ever again, and I didn’t know how to cope. I felt so alone. I felt like nobody understood the way I was feeling, because I didn’t know any other ten year old children whose parents had been diagnosed with cancer. I thought I had to do it all on my own.

Alongside this, I was being bullied by the ‘popular’ girls in school and I thought that life couldn’t get worse. I was exhausted from trying to pretend I was okay. I spent a lot of time on my own because I thought it was easier than talking to people. I thought that I could deal with it all by myself. I thought I would feel better by shutting everybody out, and I didn’t want to talk to anybody about what was going on. They called me ugly, fat, all sorts of names. They told me I would never amount to anything. That my dreams were just dreams and they would never be possible for somebody like me.

And then I heard ‘Love Story’ and my whole world changed. There was something about it… the lyrics, the melody… something about it made me feel happy, and strong. Every time I listened to it, I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness. Because for that moment while the song was playing, I forgot about everything else. I would listen to it on the way home from school, and in the car - any chance I got, it would be playing.

And then… I heard ‘Mean’. And once again, my whole world changed. My whole perspective changed. For the first time, I believed the words that were being sung. It wasn’t just another song. For the first time, I felt like I would make it through, and in the end those bullies wouldn’t matter.

You were there for me when nobody else was. You inspired me to make something of myself. You inspired me to sing, and to teach myself how to play the guitar. You taught me things about myself that I never know existed. You taught me things about myself that I never knew I needed to learn. You’ve taught me lessons about life, love and loss — that I’m not going nowhere, just because I haven’t gotten to where I want to go yet. You reminded me to be a little bit kinder to myself. You helped me find my way when I was lost.

Sometimes I still look in the mirror and I don’t like what I see… I’m still influenced by their words. I still believe their words like they’re true. But you reminded me that I’m not somebody else’s opinion of me. And you showed me that being fearless isn’t about having no fears, it about being strong enough to face them.

However, I should probably update this story a little bit, because a lot has changed since I first wrote this….

I am now 20 years old. I’m in my final year at University, studying English Literature and Creative Writing. I moved out and I now live in a house with 3 of my friends (though once uni ends, I’ll have to move back home). I’ve started a YouTube channel where I upload covers. I went on holiday with my friends this year…

…and then, three months ago, after ten years in remission… my mum was diagnosed with cancer again.

My world came crashing down. I had spent ten years rebuilding a castle, to only have it crumble to the ground in an instant.

I felt that feeling… a feeling I hadn’t experienced in ten years. Uncertainty. The uncertainty that I had found so hard to bear.

I thought that because I am ten years older, and ten years wiser, it would be easier. But the truth is… it isn’t. It’s not an easy thing to deal with, at all. It was so much harder to deal with this time, because my best friend - who had stuck with me through this ten years previous - is no longer my best friend any more. We barely speak. It’s like we’re strangers. And I miss having that one person to talk to at any time of the day or night about everything that is troubling me. Luckily, my best friends now are super incredible and supportive. Although… In the midst of this, I did the worst thing I could possible do - I googled the diagnosis (literally the worst decision I ever made) and sent myself into total meltdown.

But I’m doing okay now. My mum has started treatment — she is on her second cycle of chemotherapy. It’s taking its toll on her, and it makes me so sad to see it, but I know that it’s the best thing for her. The doctors prognosis is good, great even! And I have stayed away from google. (I promise.)

Everybody says that we’re brave because we’re always happy, and jolly and deal with the situation with humour. But we’re not. Not really. We could be sad. If we wanted to. But I refuse to be miserable. I refuse to sit there and sulk. I cannot change what is happening, but I can change the way I respond to it. So, I chose to be happy. I chose to get on with the things that make me happy, and find something to smile about every day. This is not saying that I don’t get sad about it, which sometimes I do… but I don’t dwell on that sadness.

But we’re getting there. We’re getting through it, and we’re going to make it out the other side.

I know I’ve talked a lot throughout this, but it’s a long story to explain in little words, so I apologise.

I guess, though, what I am trying to say is thank you. You have been there for me through everything. You have never left my side for a minute. You’re the best friend I’ve never met… the older sister that I’ve never had, that I look up to and admire. I admire your strength, your courage, your generosity, your kindness, your heart of gold, your beautiful personality…. the list is endless. I couldn’t think of a better person to look up to. I will love and support you until the day you decide otherwise. There will never be enough words in the English language to explain how much you mean to me. I love you more than you will ever know.

(To tell you the honest truth, because we’re honest with each other… I dream about us baking cookies, and having a dance party and singing and playing guitar together and talking until we run out of things to say…. — can we be best friends please?)

I hope that one day we finally meet each other, because I would love to be able to tell you this in person.

Thank you, for everything. Stay beautiful. I love you.

Forever and always,

Becks. ❤️

( ~ @taylorswift ~ ) 🌸

Thunderbirds Are Go(ne) - a mid season hiatus rant

So, TAG Team. Saturdays are just not gonna be the same again without Thunderbirds Are Go. This show changed my life. I thought I was a huge Thundernerd before but wow my feels have just exploded and multiplied and it’s not even funny any more. It’s given my inner escapist a home to dream about (gorgeous Tracy Island), boys to lust over (Virgil, mostly), fictional brothers to care about (space pup Alan), fictional best friends with a great sense of humour (Gordon), introvert buddies (John), and big brothers to look up to (Scott). Also, Kayo could honesty be everyone’s favourite sister, but if you don’t mind, I wanna focus on the boys right now.

No one said it would be easy to be Mother Hen of International Rescue and oldest brother, but he’s trying and he’ll be damned if he gives up now - but no one is perfect and sometimes even Scott Tracy finds himself making the wrong choice, or losing his cool when the situation calls for calm and composed reasoning. I’m pretty convinced of the fact that there’s a storm of doubts and fears raging inside his mind that will eventually find a crack through which to erupt - as we’ve seen during the scene where Scott almost punched Professor Harold. But the very fact that he is prone to making mistakes and miscalculating a situation also makes him human in spite of his superhuman determination to juggle the duties of family life and International Rescue.

He may be the peacekeeper of the family, the artist and beefcake engineer, but there’s something about that lumberjack look that makes one wonder just how much Virgil Tracy is at peace with himself (as obscenelybefuddled pointed out in her Thunderbirds comparison posts). He’s the only Tracy whose hair is obviously styled to perfection which - like the whole lumberjack theme and the fact that he’s the strongest and buffest of the brothers - may or may not be a statement about masculinity (think rooster combs). That manly man shell is hiding a sweet and creative and perhaps even insecure soul, and that juxtaposition is very, very interesting. Virgil cares deeply about his brothers and encourages them to take their talents to new heights, like a typical middle sibling.

Alan is basically a precious puppy with insane astronaut skills. He is hovering between a teenager’s careless perspective of reality and an adult’s experience of how the world is not always what it seems. There’s a lot of evil out there, a lot of danger and potential harm that you can’t always bring to a good ending. Even though he may go and sulk about being told to do his homework, or having to stay put when his big brothers go out on a rescue, Alan clearly adores them to the point where they are his world, and that’s all kinds of heartbreaking/heartwarming to watch. 

Beneath that cheeky, charming exterior lurks a competitive but caring soul, which is one of the things that makes Gordon so precious to me - that, and his loud Hawaiian shirts. Like Virgil, Gordon’s choice of casual wear seems to act as a buffer for emotions and memories that should stay buried and hidden. Even though the show hasn’t yet mentioned that horrific hydrofoil accident, we can assume it’ll always be part of Thunderbirds canon, and with that in mind, Gordon’s sense of humour and ability to wisecrack in any given situation may be more than just a innate talent. Humour is a way of dealing with trauma, and rescues are pretty dramatic too, so I’m pretty sure that even if his puns might drive his brothers crazy from time to time, they secretly appreciate Gordon’s role as practical jokester and wetsuit clad bundle of mischief. 

Look up “enigma” in a dictionary and chances are you’ll come across a photo of John Tracy. He is more than just a precious cinnamon roll of space trash. And if we continue the outfit vs persona thread, John’s almost symbiotic relationship with his IR uniform and the awkwardness of his casual clothes are proof of how much he identifies with that role as opposed to being just a part of the Tracy family. He seems caught between two worlds: Thunderbird 5 in orbit versus Tracy Island down on Earth, as well as being the communications specialist and second oldest brother. When John flees the comfort of home to go to the office, he is actually leaving for a second home, one where he might just feel more at ease because of the distance it creates. Many people in the TAG fandom have already pointed out that John might be autistic and asexual, and I couldn’t agree more: he is certainly capable of emotions and cares very deeply about his brothers, perhaps even too much to the point where it threatens to disable his ability to think and act. John’s complex personality is one of his biggest strengths: it’s a battle between Scott and John to determine who is the actual glue that keeps this organisation and its members together when things go really, really wrong. 

Phew. That’s one rant I had to get off my chest. Now, onto more fic and random screen capping. 

Where the Heart Is

By midnightsnapdragon 

“Passage for one, please.”

The genie glanced up from the pack of cards he was idly floating over his fingers, the other fist propping up his chin. When his bored black eyes caught on the girl at his booth, though, the cards swooped down to the table. He looked her over from head to toe and beamed.

“My, my. What’s a moon girl doing in little Rieux?”

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