not you're too stupid!

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Legally Blonde the Musical
  ↳ Legally Blonde; Elle and Emmett [ part i | part ii ]

10
And now I wish to God thatThe earth would turn coldAnd my heart would forget it's made of glass

Lauren zuke: I took a bath

Assholes in the SU fandom: why didn’t you drown you stupid bitch

life’s too short to pretend you hate everything/everyone bc it’s the cool thing to do

Yoooo if you ever truly wanna see the definition of fragile masculinity, go shopping at a hardware store with your guy. When he can’t find something, suggest asking for help. Watch his body language change as he says no. Then go and seek help anyway, and watch how immediately he puffs his chest and becomes silently standoffish. It’s classic, and it happens literally every day at work.

  • Futaba: Okay, okay, so. I think we’re gonna need to find a jewel or some shit? And that’ll let the sun reflect into a statue, and then a boss is gonna appear? Now, you kill the boss, and that’s gonna net us the back-mounted devil teeth that shoots rose, right? And that’ll let–
  • Ryuji: Whoa, whoa, time out. Why do action games have to have this shit again? Why can’t this be like… 90’s beat-em-ups!
  • Futaba: Wha… What th– Okay, okay fine, I’m gonna let you try and explain how dumb that is.
  • Ryuji: Old beat-em-ups, all that was asked upon you is to go in one direction and beat the shit out of everyone you saw; man, woman, or child. That is, until you came across the boss, who’s usually a grungy, smelly-lookin’ loser. You didn’t need to deal with traps, and obstacles, and… things! It was pure! It was innocent!
  • Futaba: Okay, well, you have a point, but… you-you’re, like, too stupid to properly convey it.
  • Ryuji: Or you're too stupid to have properly understood-ed-ed… it.
sanses as shit I've said
  • Classic: lol u wanna hear me screech like a whale
  • Blue: lesbian flamingos are people too
  • Red: look if you're going to be that stupid about this, you probably have lost enough brain cells to park in the handicap spot over there instead of circling around the parking lot like a vulture.
  • Razz: there are two kind of people. the first kind tries to explain magic genitals through science. me? i just chalk it up to magic bombs making the dingle dongs
  • Lust: papyrus is a semen lord
  • Violet: always give 100% unless you're donating blood
  • Error: idiots, you gotta dissolve the body in lye. amateurs.
  • Ink: what do you mEAN I'm not tall enough to ride this ride??? listen here you little shit, if you don't let me ride this fucking waterslide I will shove this inner tube so far up your ass you'll be shitting rubber for a week
  • Fresh: bork bork is the sound of an emu
  • Geno: no hablo frencho
  • Death: you've survived how many years on this planet? you're going on tower of terror with me and that is final. capiche? now, any last words?
  • Pale: decapitate me with a chainsaw
  • Template: THIS IS MY FIRST TIME HAVING MORE THAN ONE SIP OF CAFFEINE AND I AM SO FUCKING PUMPED ARE YOU PUMPED CAUSE IM PUMPED YEAH LET'S BURN DOWN A BUILDING

anonymous asked:

Customer: "Do you carry [insert pet food name here]?" Me: "Sorry, no." Customer: *whining* "Ughhhh I don't want to drive all the way to [big box store literally five minutes away] and I'm all out, what brand do you recommend?" I recommend not abruptly changing your pet's diet because you're too stupid to call ahead and check if we had your brand, too flaky to buy more food before you ran out completely, and too lazy to go somewhere else.

libbygirl007  asked:

Okay Dark, I didn't mean to get on your bad side. Okay so I lied about letting you in, I'm sorry. But I will soon though, whenever a deal is set or a compromise or whichever you prefer. However, I'll be keeping an eye on you in future videos whenever you make your return.

First of all, w r e t c h , I don’t cut deals. I don’t have to. Why must i possibly jeopardize something I’ve worked to attain when i can just t a k e . I won’t need to compromise anything for anyone. If i wanted your submission I’d do just that 

t a k e   y o u r   s u b m i s s i o n

I’d wither you down, manipulate you so badly, there won’t be any need for you to “set a deal” as you so connivingly said. I would break you and beat you into a submission so intense that although all the world would help you break free of me if they had the chance, you would think you’d have not a friend in the world besides me. 

h o w    d a r e   y o u   i n s u l t   m e

How dare you think I would know nothing about the psychology of the  w e a k   human mind. How dare you sit there, lying to me about letting me in when you know you never would give complete over control of yourself to anyone else, let alone me. And lastly, how dare you assume that I would EVER need your submission.