Today my debut novel, If We Were Villains, came out and I was lucky enough to spend the afternoon with some of the amazing people who made it happen. But before I run off to the launch party tonight, I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to you, the lovely people of Online whom I will not get to thank in person.
I quite honestly never expected to have so many wonderful people following me here or anywhere else, and I will be the first to admit that I still don’t quite understand what you’re all thinking or how I haven’t managed to scare you away. You have sat through weeks of me shitposting about grad school and stumbling through the publishing world and liveblogging Homer, and I just want you to know that your support has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. I’m young and publishing is scary and your excitement has buoyed me through some rough nights of revision and some long hours of anxiety about whether this thing I wrote is actually worth anybody’s time (or money).
You’re all wonderful, and I am so lucky to have you in my corner. Thank you for the last few years. Your support and enthusiasm means much more than you know. I can’t give you much in return but this book, so I hope it is worth the wait.
Here’s to many more theatre stories, grad school meltdowns, and updates you didn’t ask for.
Dear Duke, I tried searching in the tags but all I was finding were asks pertaining to BB&B; I was wondering, since drinking is a very social thing, especially for authors, what I, as a writer and a novice bar-goer, should get when out with potential employers or people I want to be able to impress with 'drinking class' in general. You know, that saying of how your drink 'says something' about you? I'll be nervous enough-- I don't want to be nervous over ordering a damn drink, too. Thanks!
So, here’s something I want to be totally 100% clear about: Booze does not make you cool or impress anyone, it is not an essential part of any career or craft, and drinking for any reason other than genuinely wanting to is not something anyone should ever do, ever.
Let me expand: Is drinking fun? For some people, absolutely. I am one of those people. I really genuinely enjoy a glass of wine or whiskey and have a lot of fun doing liquor and lit pairings. But there is nothing at all wrong with not being one of those people, or with being a person who likes drinking but prefers fruity cocktails or Miller Lite or only drinks once a year when they’re at a wedding. Is it a social activity? For some groups, absolutely. But any group that pressures you to drink or pressures you to drink a certain way is not a group you want to be a part of. Really. In my experience, that kind of behavior is exclusively the property of stupid people in high school or college who haven’t figured out all that stuff I put in bold up at the top. Nobody in publishing is ever going to judge you for not drinking or not drinking a specific thing. Really. (Case in point: I am not drinking at all this month. I’m on a really strict diet right now because I’m trying to drop a few of the pounds I gained in grad school, and on a number of occasions I have been out with friends or colleagues who were getting drinks and said, “I’m just going to have water,” and literally nobody batted an eye. People drink or don’t drink for all kinds of reasons and most sane adults know that and know it’s none of their business.) This is like the last thing you should ever stress about, because if the mere concept of drinking is stressing you out, you’re already going about it completely the wrong way. If you’re going to drink, drink because you want to, drink what you want to drink, drink responsibly, and fuck drinking any other way. It is not a social requirement. It is not an artistic requirement. It doesn’t impress anyone worth impressing. Literally the only time your drink order is ever anybody else’s business is if they’re buying it for you and you’re asking for a top shelf double that’s going to set them back $45. So long as you don’t do that, you’re going to be completely 100% absolutely fine. Life is too short for something that should be relaxing to make you nervous, and if it makes you nervous, just don’t do it.
GHOST ! I don't usually ask for good vibes but my week has been The Worst tm I just keep getting really sad and crying a lot and I just think I'm not worth anybody's time even when they tell me they care about me a lot and even when they do spend time with me I just get this really guilty feeling that they could hang out with someone better and I isolate myself when I just want to spend time with my bf it's just messing me up so much and I'm very much Not Ok could I have some good vibes please ?
As someone who is entirely introverted, who spent high school lunch times sitting in the corner reading a book, who is not a people person at all, but really does need stimulation because my brain is always ticking, but I’m not good with classroom settings at all. I’ve always related to Jess. Maybe my family background is entirely different, but there is something about Jess that fits me. I love to read, I love to write, I love intellectual conversations but I am bad with people, I come off as rude when I don’t mean to be. I’m not used to people giving me the time of day, due to my quiet nature and not being good with small talk. So when people come on here and say they cannot respect or like anybody who likes Jess, apart of me takes that very personally. You’re saying that anybody who likes Jess isn’t worth your time, but you’re also saying I am not worth your time either, since I relate to Jess in many ways. If I am not worth your time the way I am, or for who I like, then you’re not worth my time because you’re too judgemental and not very nice at all.
To the one who always provided me with a home to stay in, a bed to sleep in, and a friendship that was stronger than most, thank you. I should have thanked you more and hurt you less. I should’ve just stayed with the kids when you asked me to and I should have never taken you for granted like I always ended up doing. I’m so sorry. You were one of my best friends, and I forgot that somewhere on the way. I will always love you. Please tell those kids that I love them more than they will ever understand or remember.
To my best friend, thank you. I took you for granted a lot too, and I know towards the end here you got frustrated with me for not realizing how much you did for me, but I do know how hard you worked to keep me happy, and I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t. I want you to love yourself as much as I love you, and I never want you to forget that you’re the best person that I’ve ever had a pleasure of knowing and growing up with. I want you to find happiness. And it’s not here in this town. I hope you get out of here and follow your dreams. You deserve to have them come true, and you shouldn’t let mom or dad ever hold you back from that. I’m so sorry. You will always be my brother, but more importantly you will always be my best friend.
To the woman that tried to provide me with care even when I constantly pushed her away, thank you. I know that I wasn’t an easy kid with all of the hoops I threw at you at an early age. You tried your hardest to understand my depression, and I appreciate that. I know that I let you down. If I could turn back time I would fix my mistakes and be good enough, but I can’t. Thank you for taking care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself. I’m so sorry. I should have listened to what you were saying when you told me not to leave.
To the man that stepped in as my father, thank you. I’m happy that you were in my life. You keep my mother happy and were always good to me. Thank you for always trying to keep me safe. Thank you for being a great father to me these past few years. I did not deserve you. I’m so sorry. Please keep my mother’s head straight, I know this isn’t going to be easy for her, but she’ll be okay if she has you.
To the boy who I wake up to in the morning and kiss goodnight, thank you. Fuck, you put up with a lot of dumb nights with me, and I will never be able to explain fully how much I appreciate how tight you hold me when my body won’t stop shaking. Or how smart I think you are and how much I enjoy to hear you talk about the things that you love. I do love you, but I wish that I knew how to love you fully. I should have been better to you and for you, but I always over thought myself and if it was right, and I should have told you when I started getting confused about everything. I’m so sorry. You deserve so much better. And I know you’re complex and hard to understand, but you’re so worth the time. Anybody should be honored to figure you out.
To the person who I can not figure out, thank you. You and I didn’t know each other for very long, but you understood me. I wish I would’ve taken more time out a few months ago to fully understand who you were. And I know I keep saying the wrong things now, and that I never add much but misery to your days with all of my fucking complaining, but I appreciate the times that you listened to me even when you didn’t want to. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t of ever put you in a position that was impossible to get out of. I hope you find somebody that will fall in love with your entire existence, and I hope that person is yourself.
To the girl that both completed and destroyed my life, thank you. Loving you was the best thing to have to live for, and it’s been killing me not having you around anymore. I hope that you remember to smile more and to not give out your love like loose change. Your mind is ungodly beautiful, don’t let that go to waste. Please don’t ever lose yourself loving somebody. I’ve never met somebody as perfect as you and I don’t think this world would ever be the same if you weren’t. I’m so sorry. I wanted you so bad for so fucking long and there isn’t a day I don’t miss you and that laugh.
To the boy that loved me wholeheartedly and I let down, thank you. You stayed this entire time even after I kicked you out of my life. We were never right for each other, but you never let that stop you from keeping me afloat, and you were really the only person that understood that I was drowning. You understood me and my childhood, and I’ve never really had that before. I do love you, and I am sorry I didn’t show you more that you weren’t just a token when I needed someone’s attention. Our nights together changed me and the way that I love others. I’m so sorry. You’re one of the most genuine human beings I’ve come across in this world, and I hope you don’t let this world destroy that spark inside of you. Your mistakes don’t define you. Please remember that.
And to the 10 year old girl with hopes and dreams and too much hidden inside of her skull, I’m so sorry. I lost you so long ago and I don’t know what happened to us. I’m sorry I’ve turned you into an 18 year old alcoholic who does not hope anymore and who does not dream anymore and who does not love anymore. I’m sorry that I’ve tied you down and kept you from living. You tried so hard to keep me grounded in reality, but I fought too hard to get away from here. And I guess we both lost because I won and I’m so sorry.
//“I have a lot to say before I die. A lot of questions I want to answer, and a lot of answers I want to question. Mostly, though, I want to say my apologies to those who deserve an apology, and I guess I don’t really know where to start.”
Laurel takes a deep, deep breath. She’s pregnant. She keeps repeating these words in her head just so they could make more sense, she attempts and fails every time. “I’m having a baby” she murmurs to herself still unable to process the information. “ We are having a baby”
Only there’s no “we” and there’s no “us” anymore.
That’s the part she can’t wrap her head around the most. It was always them. Laurel and Wes. Wes and Laurel. Sure, sometimes they’d all gather and do things for Annalise, but the only person who always stood there by her side, Wes. Whenever his name is brought up she gets that look in her eyes, the look of worrying. Where could he be? What could he be doing? Is he in trouble? Does he need help? Her Wes . And she was his too.
She lets out an ironical laugh, still in disbelief. “He doesn’t need help, Laurel” she tries to sound reassuring to herself. “Wherever he is now, it must be a better place than here. Here, with all those people who gave him a hard time whenever he’d do or say anything. Here, where it was them against the world.” Here.
And he’s no longer here.
A tear starts sliding down her cheek and she wipes it off before she breaks down in front of the entire hospital. She needs to see if the baby is going to be okay.
She never hoped she’d be sitting here, at the hospital, pregnant. It was not what she planned. It was not what she wanted at this age at all. It was not supposed to happen. Or at least that’s what she used to think. Not anymore. This baby is the only good thing about the world she lives in. The only glimmer of hope. The only thing worth saving. If it were for anybody else, she’d leave a long time ago. Annalise asked to help, come with her to the hospital. Laurel refused. She knew the only person she wanted there was no longer alive.
“The only person I care about is right here”
Flashbacks run trough her head and before she knows it she starts crying. In front of everyone. She doesn’t care what they think. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks. She only wants Wes’s hand and to lean on his shoulder. Her safe place.
They call out her name and she quickly tries to pulls herself together, wipe the tears and goes into the room. She takes a deep breath again.
It occurs to her again.
“We are having a baby”
Only now, there is a meaning to “we” and there is a meaning to “us”. It’s her and her baby. She needs to get through this. She will get through this. For him. For them.
I have this weird headcanon, that not using your magic regularly actually hurts a wizard, which is why Lucy summons Plue all the time, Erza doesn’t change her clothes normally, Natsu starts so many fights (same for Gray) and Wendy uses a small bit of Wind magic to dry her hair after washing (personal headcanon, don’t judge me, I find it adorable).
This has been bugging me for months and I kinda want to write a fic where someone comes along and casts a spell on Fairy Tail, preventing them from using their magic, so they have to train harder in hand to hand combat and with weapons, fighting against constant pain (for every day they don’t use magic, the more it hurts them) just to kick that guy’s butt and get their powers back… when I have the time for it, would anybody think it’s worth trying?
Alright, so I haven’t really ranted about all of the haters because I’ve been trying to ignore it, and didn’t feel like arguing directly with anybody was worth my time so I’m just going to generally rant right now. So I just watched the first two minutes of a video that basically hated on the show for about 15 minutes. The comments were even worse. Usually we see people crying and complaining because Alec’s eyes aren’t blue or Clary’s hair isn’t red enough or because movie Jace was just so much better! Even worse, people want to target the cast and crew for their acting and other things that are completely out of their control.
I saw a comment that somebody hoped that the show got canceled and that just really pissed me off more than everything else for some reason. Why would you seriously hope for something to go away that is sincerely making other people happy and excited?? I saw these same people in these comments just bashing on the ya genre itself and saying that other shows like Vampire Diaries, PLL and Teen Wolf are the only exceptions. (I adore PLL and this current season is amazing but are you kidding me with the lines and all of the plotholes over the years??) And Omg did you watch the first seasons in TVD or TW??? The first seasons were rocky for both of them, but guess what they got better! The Originals eventually showing up and void stiles??? Awesomesauce! It just needs time and a chance to develop. Why are people so refusing to give this show a chance!? Especially when we’re definitely not going to get another one! And another thing that I noticed is that the people that are bashing on it the most are people that supposedly love the books. ???? Why are people so close-minded!!! “Oh it’s not realistic enough“ WE ARE TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WITH ANGEL BLOOD WHO KILL DEMONS FROM OTHER DIMENSIONS AND ALSO FIGHT WEREWOLVES, VAMPIRES, AND FAERIES!! How realistic do you want it to be??? “Oh this new Jace sucks, JCB was so much better“ JCB is a wonderful actor, but fact of the matter is he is not our new Jace. He will never reprise the role of Jace. So either rewatch City of Bones to get your fix or leave show Jace alone. Dom is really an amazing actor and I for one think that he is doing a great job portraying Jace. NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE HATE THAT KAT IS GETTING! Naturally, the actors getting the most hate would be the girls on the show… “Oh Kat sucks as an actor. Her lines are terrible and she’s so dramatic“ “Izzy is such a slut and they are sexualizing her too much“ Wow, first of all, I would hope that you would be as frantic as Clary is right now if someone you loved just disappeared. And if you read the books then you would remember that little 15 (I repeat 15!) year old Clary was pretty annoying for a while as she was getting used to this whole world that was basically thrown on her. Also, about her lines, guess what?, she doesn’t write them so quite bashing on Kat because of that. And Izzy!! God forbid that we have a strong, independent, female character (LATINA NONETHELESS BECAUSE LATINX PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY THE MOST UNDERREPRESENTED PEOPLE ON TELEVISION AND FILM AND THE UNITED STATES IN GENERAL) who just so happens to be sexual and even use it to her advantage. I hate seeing people bash on Izzy the most because of this.
Ok next topic of rant. I make weekly videos about the show and they are always positive. Even if there was something that I didn’t like (which hasn’t been often) I don’t talk about it negatively or bash on other people who happened to love what I didn’t really care for. I even love talking to people who have different opinions because debate is great and sometimes you all even change my mind! My friends and family definitely know my mad/negative side and it is soooo not pretty. That side of me is something that I won’t be putting in my vids bc to be completely honest, who the heck wants to watch someone be so negative? I hate that part of myself and I truly think that when I am at my happiest or most excited that that is the real me so that is the side that I will be putting out there. (that got slightly personal…) Anyways! I am not the biggest youtube/booktuber so my videos don’t get thousands of views. (and I am not complaining about that!!!! Everybody who does watch and comment on my vids are so amazing and I literally adore you all!!) I’m saying that my more optimistic and positive Shadowhunters reviews don’t get as many viewings as some of these other booktubers who have thousands (even hundreds of thousands) of subscribers and viewers and hundreds of people commenting on their videos. And what I’ve noticed about these booktubers with more viewings is that they are significantly more negative about the show and spew the most hate out of anyone. That’s not good because when people have such huge followings like that they have some kind of influence on what their followers think. So if somebody is contemplating reading the books or watching the show and they watch one of these videos with all of the hate it could really be a turn off for them. As a lover of books and stories in general, why would you want to hate on something so much that it literally makes a person change their mind about even trying it? Especially when you loved the books and your hate for the show is denying somebody else to try reading and loving the books too?? Instead of trying to get people to buy the book that its publisher sent you for free, why not talk about something that your viewers can actually relate to:) (this could be a whole other rant but let’s stay on the Shadowhunters train) The number of subscribers and comments have obviously gotten to some of their heads and it’s extremely annoying which is why I’ve unsubscribed from so many of these people who get paid to do what the rest of us are doing for the pure joy of discussion and books! Also, another sidenote as to why it can be dangerous for the bigger and more widely known booktubers to hate on the show so much is that when the people in charge of making the show and renewing it go to look for feedback these kinds of opinions are going to be the ones that they find. (run on sentence!) They won’t see all of us loving everything, but only the numbers underneath the videos filled with all of the negativity.
And I get kinda sad sometimes when people will tell me how relieved they are that I am actually so positive about the show. You shouldn’t have to feel bad or mad about loving something just because there are so many other people who don’t know how to keep their not so constructively critical comments to themselves. COME TO ME MY DARLINGS AND WE WILL FANGIRL TOGETHER!! To be completely honest, books and tv and just stories in general are where I get a lot of my happiness and where I go to for comfort and laughter and the good ol’ feels. So when I see people spewing so much hate on this it feels pretty personal. This story, along with so many others, really mean a lot to me (and to so many of you!) and I’m not going to let other people make me feel bad for loving a “silly ya book and show“. Which is why it is 2 am and I am writing the longest post ever. So ya… THIS WAS SO LONG OMG I’M SORRY IF YOU HAD TO SCROLL FOR LIKE 3 MILLION YEARS BC OF THIS BUT i JUST HAD A LOT OF FEELINGS! There’s probably a bunch more I could rant about but I think that might be all I have to say for now. If you got to the bottom of this post, you’re awesome. (unless you’re one of the haters who just wants to hate then you can go bye bye)
Just a reminder for the haters:
IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE SHOW AND DON’T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF RESPECTFUL CRITICISM AND/OR DEBATE WITH PEOPLE THAT HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS THEN CAN YOU PLEASE JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND LET THE REST OF US ENJOY THIS SHOW
IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT DON’T WATCH IT
Your negativity is really unnecessary and frankly not appreciated. thank you:)
All my life, I’ve been the overweight child. I tried everything to lose weight to stop the bullying, even developing an eating disorder that I still fight to this day. The bullies beat me, called me names, ripped at my clothes and hair, told me that no one would ever want to marry a “fat fuck” like myself, made me afraid of cameras with their bullying, and even turned my own brother and sister against me until they realized what was happening. By the time I was 14, I was ready to do something terrible to escape from everything since enduring it wasn’t helping.
But the very day I planned on doing it, I met Tom. He was one of the first people to treat me like, well, a person and not a lump of fat. And the rest was history after that. With him, I had moments where I felt like I was pretty or worth acknowledging. We dated for a few years and it just felt right. And when he proposed, I couldn’t stop crying. It took me most of that night to fully grasp that it had happened. That I was sitting there with the love of my life, surrounded by friends, and we were all having a fantastic time and that every single one of those people cared about me for being me, not for the number I was on a scale.
While preparing for the wedding, I was under a lot of stress and didn’t lose much weight for the dress. I was nervous, terrified even, about the possibilities of cameras and how many pictures would be taken, and simply being seen in something that didn’t cover my arms completely. I was having panic attacks up to the wedding day, up to the moment my dad saw me for the first time.
I had only seen Dad cry once in my life up to that point, and that was when his father passed. But he smiled and he cried and he hugged me close and told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world and that Tom was “one lucky bastard” to have been chosen by me. He said it again when I hid behind him while the procession was lining up. He told me how proud he was during our dance together.
I spent the rest of the night virtually unafraid of having my picture taken.
Since the wedding, my weight has been going down a little, if slowly, but because I no longer really stress about what I eat and I get exercise in whenever I have the chance.
My father died in January 2015 after a long battle with terminal cancer and I regained a lot of what I had lost previously due to the shock and stress, but I have been holding onto one of the last things he told me before the disease attacked his brain.
He told me that my weight never defined me, and that he was proud of my strength to pull through so many things even with the bullying. That I was worth loving and the family, my friends, and Tom were living proof of it. That he was so proud to have two beautiful daughters with two different, but equally amazing beauty: My sister with her radiant beauty, the kind that you notice the second she walks in, the kind that’s like a roaring bright red flame. And myself, with a beauty more like a gentle, blue flame. It may not burn as brightly, but it has the same intensity, and has its own wonderful qualities. He told me he was happy that Tom would get to see me burn even brighter in the years to come, and that he knew that any child we had would be brilliant, kind, and beautiful beyond measure.
I think if it weren’t for Dad and for #fatattack, I would have never even considered uploading a picture of myself. But… Things are different now, I’ve grown. And I want to make my Dad proud. I’ve come a long way from the scared, meek 14 year old I once was. I dont want to lose weight to make others happy and think better of me anymore. The people that matter love me for me, and anybody who tries to bring me down isn’t worth even the time of day.
I’ve been making slow progress, but I wear short sleeves more often. I wear better fitting clothes too. I’m still afraid of cameras, but I’ve been getting better. And I’ve been losing weight to simply improve myself. I don’t know when I’ll stop, but I know that I will once I’m content with myself, not when people say I should be. I’ve come a long, long way and I still have a long way to go, but I know I can do it and I know that I’m doing it for the right reasons now.
Pietro x reader || Request || One-Shot || Hope you enjoy!
Anon: can you do an imagine where it’s your birthday and your friends dragged you to some bar you didn’t want to go to and you don’t have the best relationship with your family but you figured they would call but they never did and so your outside the bar and pietro sees you all sad and upset and instead of going in and hanging out with the other avengers for a celebration he stays and comforts you and takes on you some adventure around the city and its super fluffy and adorable :))
You should have known your friends would take you to some really loud bar for your birthday. But you had just turned twenty-one, so you assumed there was going to be drinking involved. Life was hard for you. You had given up on your relationship with your parents and siblings and left for New York only about a year or so. You hadn’t been out roaming the city as much as you wanted to.
“(Y/n), come on over and dance, birthday girl!” One of your friends shouted.
You glanced over at the large dance floor, spotting two or three of your friends dancing with some no named men and a couple of whores. Yep. You were feeling pretty savage tonight. You shook your head, “I’ll pass, Jennifer!”
Jennifer pouted, “Oh come on!” she shouted over the music. “Lighten up a little! It’s your birthday! You’re finally old enough to drink, why don’t you order a drink or something and then come let loose?”
The bartender, whom was cleaning glasses nudged you and you turned around, looking at him blankly. He nodded over in the direction of the drinks, “So, you’re twenty-one tonight? Drinks are on the house.”
You fumbled over your words before finally responding, “Well, uh…”
A man next to you suddenly cut you off, “A vodka for the lady.”
The bartender was about to object when you held up your finger, pulling your phone out of your pocket as it rang silently.”No, I’ll skip the drink.” You said, answering the phone and quickly making your way to a quieter part of the bar.
“Hello? Who is this?” You asked, not being able to control the small smile that was making it’s way onto your face. You’re parents had finally called.
“Happy Birthday, (Y/n)! Woah, where are you?” A familiar, but unwanted voice asked. You bit your lip when you heard their voice. Not your mother, not your father, not even one of your siblings. Just a friend from high school.
“At…At a bar in New York.” You replied rather quietly.
“Where? A bar? That’s great! I’m glad you’re having fun then!”
Fun? You were sick to your stomach. “Yeah…fun.”
“Well, I hope you’re doing well, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. How’s the family? Parents? Dog? Goldfish? Rock-”
The words on the other end of the phone slowly faded and you absentmindedly turned off your phone, sliding it deep into one of your pockets. The loud music pounding in your ears, the overwhelming home sickness, and the pit in your stomach was unbearable. You quickly made your way out of the bar, not daring to look at your friends who were having a better time then you, grinding on strangers and throwing up their drinks.
The moment you stepped outside, the cold hit you like a wall. Goosebumps ran up and down your body as you pulled your arms closer to you. You looked at the empty streets and then at the dark sky. The one thing you hated about New York…You couldn’t see the stars no matter where you were.
You glanced around at the city once more before leaning against the brick wall of the bar. You continued to stare at the sky, thinking of all the things that had gone on in your life. You had hope that at least one family member would have called you, even if it was your Pawpaw. Oh, how you missed his burgers. Right when you felt as if you were going to break down, you heard somebody exit the bar on your right, his footsteps heading straight for you.
“May I?” A heavily accented voice asked.
You looked down and over at the man. His accent surprised you, but his looks surprised you even more. His hair was near silver, his eyes standing out against the dark night, and face unexpectedly attractive.
You nodded gently, lips parting. “Of course…”
The man leaned against the wall next to you and you looked at him curiously. You looked him up and down before he turned his head and looked back at you with just as much curiosity. “I apologize if I am intruding,” he said.
This time you shook your head, “No, of course you didn’t.” You looked back up at the sky and sighed softly, “….I was just thinking.”
“Thinking of what?” He asked, “Me?”
You let out a snort and looked back at him, “You? No. I mean- Yes!” You laughed for a moment before continuing, “I was thinking about how I got here.”
“A car I would assume…” He said, crossing his arms as he smirked at you.
You smiled genuinely at him, “Yes, a car, dumb ass. But I mean how I got here. Why I let my friends drag me here on my birthday when I could have been eating a cake by myself at home…” you chuckled.
The man cocked an eyebrow, “It is your birthday?”
Again, you nodded, “Yes, my birthday. It’s…really not that big of a deal when I think about it.” you mumbled quietly, looking back at him.
“But it is a big deal. Another year of life, no?” He responded.
‘Well…yes. I’m thankful for that, but it’s just..not worth my time. Or anybody else for that matter. My parents didn’t even call me and my friends are inside celebrating their own “birthday party”.” You told him.
The man glanced back over at the bar before pushing himself off the wall and looking at you, “Well, it matters to me.” he said slowly.
You scoffed, “You? Who am I kidding…I’m talking to some Russian guy outside a bar. I’m sorry, I ramble sometimes…I should probably get home. To-…you know. Eat that cake that’s waiting for me.” You were just about to walk away when he grabbed your wrist, “My name is Pietro Maximoff.”
You turned around and looked at him, “I really should be going, Pietro…”
He shook his head, “No, no, no. If it is cake you want, I will take you to the best bakery there is in this city.” Pietro said, a different glint in his eyes.
You looked at his face carefully, trying to decide on whether or not you should trust him. After all, for all you knew he was a stranger with a mask. He could be nice now, but later he could turn out to be something more. He shot you one last grin before you clasped your hand in his, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt…”
Pietro grinned broadly at you and began to lead you away from the bar. You glanced over your shoulder, “So where to now, Pietro?”
“First, I need a name.” He said curtly.
“(Y/n). Now where to? I’d at least like to know where we’re going.”
“(Y/n)…A beautiful name.” He paused, “We are heading for Pete’s Bakery.”
Chels, can I ask you a personal Q... Have you ever had sex? I'm in my twenties and haven't ever and feel so self conscious about it
I haven’t actually. I’m the same age as you :) and I’m not concerned in the slightest.
Having sex for the first time is both glamourised and talked up and also not. Some people just went to get it over and done with and some people say your giving up your virginity is so sacred and special. I think neither.
It’s not something to worry about at all on any level, but you don’t have to have sex just for the sake of having it. It’s not a box you need to tick off to be worth anything or be a real adult or to be mature. It’s non important to who you are as A person.
Having sex is special, and you should have it with people you care about and trust ALWAYS. Having fewer sexual partners decreases your risk of STI’s, which is ideal. Also you do have to give a part of your emotional and spiritual self when having inter course, so if you’re not having it for the right reasons it can damage your mental health and leave you feeling quite empty and sad.
Sex with the right person at the right time is gonna be EPIC because it’s going to mean a bucket load to you. No pressure though! It doesn’t have to be perfect the first time. And anybody who you’re worth sharing that part of yourself with will respect any decisions you make about sex and will not judge your performance. It’s YOUR BODY and YOUR LIFE. Do what you want. Do what is right for you.