not to be confused with craig tucker

tweek scribbling the name “tweek tucker” bordered by hearts all over his notebook to the point where one day he unconsciously writes it as his Actual Name on an assignment, only realizing his mistake when the teacher calls out in a confused voice “…. tweek tucker?”

tweek is 100 shades of flustered while craig is all Heart Eyes and repeats the name to himself over and over until he falls asleep

CLYDE: I’ve tried, trust me.

CLYDE: …After I tried to beat Tweek up, but I digress.

CLYDE: Tweek wouldn’t listen, Craig was too confused.

CLYDE: Tweek even told me to go away, but I told him that my pants were too wet to go home.

CLYDE: They’re dry now :).

CLYDE: But yeah and I’ve also poked my head around the tree a few times to try and talk to them from a safe distance but I keep getting flipped off.

CLYDE: And it’s not even from Craig! That’s his thing! If you’re his friend you don’t care about it because that’s just a thing he used to do all the time.

CLYDE: This was Tweek who flipped me off.

CLYDE: I could feel pure, unbridled aggression seeping from his very middle finger every time I saw it.

CLYDE: It’s terrifying would not recommend 0/5.

CLYDE: …So anyways, I don’t really know what to do now.


CLYDE: Oh, dude?

CLYDE: What’s up? Where’s Tweek?

CRAIG: Yeah he just kinda freaked out and left out of nowhere.


CRAIG: Yeah.

CRAIG: So, like.

CRAIG: Now I’m here alone like a jackass.

CRAIG: So I guess I’m gonna chill with you until my mom picks me up.

CLYDE: Oh– okay, bro! you’re always welcome to my homey tree trunk abode!

CRAIG: …Right.

  • me: i really don't like the way that modern south park is headed :/ the episodes don't make sense and their attempt at serialization is just confusing. why can't they just go back to the main four being kids?
  • matt and trey: we're doing another tweek and craig episode.
  • me: revolutionary. magical. good work. i can't wait. south park is good.

Character sheets (part two)

Okay, his class. “Hunter-vampire”. Dude, don’t suck blood. Suck dick. HUEHUEHUEHUE.

I’m okay with the first point but DUDE the second one is also a lie. Why is everyone lying? He’s totally bisexual, you can’t deny it. Proof:

(s13e7) He’s gay with Kevin, don’t lie. He’s putting his head on his shoulder.

His alignment is neutral, he’s the first one I’m able to believe with that.

His religion is Catholicism, I have nothing against that but I don’t think they’re okay with you sucking blood from strangers? xD

His power source is blood… Idky but I’m confused with that, but everything is clear am I really that dumb? Yes I am.

HIS KRYPTONITE ARE THE RAISINS GIRLS?! CLYDE I WANNA PUNISH YOU FOR WRITING THAT DOWN YOU PERVERT. He’s like a BABY in my eyes but he isn’t? He’s an asshole and like you can see he’s a pervert? But I think he’s cute and childish and idk? Why am I like this? Why does my heart hurt?

Tweek is the third avatar. I’m so weak.

Like you see, here’s the second gay. He wears similar clothes like his boyfriend Craig Tucker, to express their love and that they’re a team. And like you see, if you look at me, here’s an inner-emotional (yes that exists) bitch who is dying rn.

His alignment is lawful, TWEEK YOU’RE PERFECT I LOVE YOU. Craig and Tweek are literary Ying and Yang, you can’t deny it.

I was shocked as I saw that he’s a Buddhist. He was catholic, so I think he converted. I didn’t expected that, but it fits him. That cute lil cutie.

Again, his power source is love. So cheesy and gay.

His caffeine addiction is his kryptonite BUT his solo ulti is him, drinking a full can of coffee and being strong afterwards? Or do I just misunderstand that? Because, like I understand, coffee makes him strong, so why should his addiction be fatal?

I love Jimmy, he’s so cute look at that picture. And it’s so cute that he’s the flash with crutches. Like his dream came true? I’m so soft when I see fastpass.

But he’s a human cyborg? Where’s he cyborg? Because his crutches?

His sex/gender is “yes please”… here’s a post about that.


His religion is speed. Yes okay, baby. I just let this here, uncommented.

His power source are bionic implants I WANT TO CRY. He deserves being healthy, I want this bean to be happy. He’s so cute with everything he does. Look at that cute smile. Or his urge to make others laugh. HE’S AN ANGEL.

I don’t want him to have a kryptonite because he doesn’t deserve one, but he has. Friction. Why? Because he’s so fast and fast plus friction could cause a fire? Aww, he’s so intelligent.

Stan, my babe. I love him. But altered human? Because his tools? South Park got me there, second time, that’s funny. xD

It was clear that he’s straight, and he’s straight, but I want him to be biromantic and homosexual. But he isn’t. Sigh.

HOW IS HE LAWFUL AND WENDY ISN’T I DON’T UNDERSTAND. But I bet he just follows Kyle. Lol.

His religion is metric system? Stan you European nerd. His religion are metres. Wtf dude. I know you’re with tools and that you’re an altered human but you don’t have to be SO altered.

220V is his power source, Stan waddup.

His kryptonite is dust and corrosion. Why not rust? Lol.

The best for last. That pic looks cool tho.

His race/ethnicity is unknown? Okay I’m curious now. I mean, he’s immortal. But he’s as Kenny McCormick too. Maybe he’s not even a human? I really want to know rn.

Straight? HAHAHAHA WTF. That’s a big fat lie, fatter than Cartman’s ass and THAT MEANS SOMETHING. He’s something ‘uncommon’ like Wendy, polysexual or pansexual. But not straight. HAHAHA

He’s lawful, that fits him. He wants justice that’s why he stared the freedom pals. I love Ken. c:

His religion is fatalism, it fits him. I don’t think that he believes in the 'common god’, more in a higher force.

His power source is cthulhu. Idk but I imagine cthulhu sending Ken power in a ball-form, and he screams “MORREEE I NEEEEDD MOOORREE”. Don’t be a pervert, I’m just a boring girl who imagines innocent stuff.

His kryptonite is poverty, DON’T TOUCH ME. I WANT KENNY TO BE HAPPY. But it fits, I mean, he’s like batman and batman is rich? But still, I want Kenny having a good life.

That was the second part. I need that game, I’m so hyped. Goodbye.

  • Cartman: Ah, finally... the release dates. *dials phone*
  • Stan: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Kyle: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Kenny: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Butters: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Clyde: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Token: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Craig: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Tweek: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Timmy: Timmy?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Jimmy: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time. *dials again*
  • Wendy: Hello?
  • Cartman: It's time.
  • *phone rings*
  • Cartman: Hello?
  • Stan: Uh yeah, what does 'it's time' mean?
  • Cartman: What?
  • Stan: I don't know, you just called me up and said 'it's time' like I'm supposed to know what that means.
  • Cartman: Get on the wagon Stan, it's the release dates of season 21 and The Fractured But Hole!
  • Stan: The premier of what?
  • Cartman: Hang on, I got another call on the other line. *beep* Hello?
  • Kyle: Hey, yeah, what's with this 'it's time' thing you're talking about?
  • Cartman: Don't you know?
  • Kyle: No.
  • Cartman: Whatever, just meet me at the video game store, I got another call. *beep*
  • Jimmy: Yeah, it's, uh, 3:22 PM.
  • Cartman: What?
  • Jimmy: I th-thought you were askk-king what time it was.
  • Cartman: No, no, I'm telling you it is time!
  • Jimmy: Yeah, and that time is 3:22 PM.
  • Cartman: No - ugh, I got another call, hang on. *beep*
  • Butters: I'm behind you 110% Eric! Any juice bar refusing to serve us delicious smoothies from here on out will be blown SKY HIGH! AHAHAHAHAHA!
  • Cartman: Wait a minute, what are you talking about?
  • Butters: What are you talking about?
  • Cartman: The release dates for season 21 and the Fractured But Hole came out today!
  • Butters: What season? Whose butt is fractured??
  • Cartman: Hang on, I'll get back to you. *beep* Hello?
  • Craig: Yeah I got 3:24 here, but I think Jimmy's watch is more accurate.
  • Cartman: Hold on a minute. *beep* Hello?
  • Stan: Me again.
  • Cartman: Sorry. *beep* Hello?
  • Kenny: Hi, running on confused here.
  • Cartman: Uhg, hang on! *beep* Hello?
  • Wendy: Um, what were you calling me about?
  • Cartman: Look, it's really hard to explain, just meet me at the video game store and set your DVR for August 23rd . Fractured But whole comes out on October 17th.
  • Wendy: Okay...
  • Cartman: *heavy sigh* I'LL PICK YOU UP.
  • Wendy: When?
  • Cartman: I don't know, I can barely keep track of who I'm talking to! *beep* Hello!
  • Jimmy: 3:23 PM!
  • Cartman: GO! AWAY!

So like?? With this whole pastor / imp au going on??
Forgive me I know 0 about religion and how it works but like
What if Tweek’s part of Damiens horde and he was assigned to posses / steal the soul of someone in Craig’s congregation. To do so means to attatch himself to the human, so Tweek has to go to Craig’s sermons every Sunday.
And he’s like. K. That priest is p hot lol. Until Craig starts getting all passionate and loud about Jesus then Tweek’s like. “This dude really wants to fuck his savior in the ass. Talk about daddy problems.”
But over the course of Craig overseeing Tweek’s host’s possession and exercism, Tweek starts to realize this over zealous pastor is the definition of sweet. And he just kind of??? Starts feeling bad for even inconveniencing him LOL. Like: this is a Tuesday night and here you are flicking holy water on a puking girls face ‘cause of me. Hey man I’m sorry I’ll just — leave. Go home and do whatever priests do on weeknights, my bad.
He can’t even bring himself to fight Craig for the girl because he doesn’t wanna have to hurt him pfft.
Which naturally gets him in trouble with Damien, who decides he needs to get rid of said priest to set things straight. Which causes some EPIC DEMON BATTLES and it’s all over some pastor who has literally 0 idea. I mean- imagine Craig just walking into the church and pews start getting thrown across the room, and he is so SCARED and CONFUSED, clutching to his bible and screaming verses into the seemingly empty room.
Long story short Craig, a righteous man of God, is unwittingly being hunted down by the son of the devil, whilst his “guardian angel” just happens to be an AWOL demon of the damned.
Gayness and more EPIC DEMON BATTLES ensue.

I MEAN imagine when Craig first meets Tweek,and starts just beating him over the head with a bible.

‘Don’t fucking touch Craig, you asshole, only I can do that!’

Have an tiny angry Tweek protecting his tall boyfriend. Craig’s in the state of confusion of whether he should be really proud of his bf or kind of scared that he forgets how strong Tweek is- and Tweek’s just gonna fight you cause you hurt Craig- idk I was bored and wanted to do more FBW since we have to wait til spring… ;w;