not the gall bladder

Special Instructions (3/?)

Summary: Drunk Emma really likes pizza. She also really happens to like the cute delivery guy who seems content to carry out all of her wishes via the “Special Instructions” box on the website. (AO3)
Rating: M
Word Count: ~3800 (why do they keep getting longer?)
Chapters: One Two

hope u like crazy hot mess emma 😝 🍺🍻🍷🍸🍹🍾🍕 😵

remember a few months ago when i asked everyone to tell me stories of stupid/funny shit y’all did when drunk? thanks for the inspiration ;))

reader requested tags: @lenfaz @ilovemesomekillianjones @like-waves-on-the-beach 

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Special instructions: pls send cute delivry guy, i missss himm   

One of the benefits of having a job with odd hours was that Emma could get completely trashed on a Tuesday evening and not give a single fuck as to how it would affect her the next morning. She’d started her own private party several hours earlier when all of her friends had turned her down for one reason or another. (Because they had jobs, mostly. Fucking party pooping productive members of society.)

She was giggling so hard she snorted when she clicked ‘order’ on the website, so beyond caring about anything that she felt no shyness or shame whatsoever.

Drunk did not even begin to cover it. Drunk was several homemade cocktails earlier. She was mixing a bunch of things she really shouldn’t be mixing. She couldn’t remember everything she ingested, but she did recall the two straight shots of tequila that she started off with (and what a way to start), as well as the few gulps of red wine that she took straight from the bottle because she was a respectable, refined adult. She vaguely recalled an almost-daiquiri of questionable flavor, as well as one particularly horrible concoction of Red Bull, triple sec, vodka, gin, and Gatorade because apparently she was trying to liquefy her internal organs.

(It didn’t help that she’d pulled out the entire contents of her alcohol cabinet and placed everything on her kitchen counter, giving her a wide selection of self-destructive options.)

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anonymous asked:

MORE HS AU!! (Ily)

SJ IS HERE, SAM IS SLEP, SO PREPARE FOR SHAKY POST-CAFFEINE INTAKE WRITING

this continues from part one

  • here’s the thing with andrew tutoring neil on weekdays: neil doesn’t actually tell him that he’s always fresh from practice when he pops into the library for tutoring
  • like, it’s not like it ever came up in conversation. andrew was too busy looking to see how to improve neil’s grades, bc if he’s gonna charge a cute guy $10 per hour, he sure as fuck gotta have to step up his game.
    • the trick to neil is: he’s not stupid.
    • in the span of three tutoring days, andrew finds out that neil knows about five languages so well he sounds like he’s local all of them. he also finds out that neil does not need help in other subjects and neil actually lets him know
      • neil: the maths teacher teaches like he needs everyone to know how smart he is. literally all i do in that class is sleep
      • andrew: you’re telling me this like i care
      • neil: no, andrew, listen, he thinks i don’t listen. i’ve never failed a quiz in math since i was nine.
      • andrew: good to know. not another thing you’ll be paying me extra hours for. the faster we finish the better.
      • neil:
      • andrew: don’t stall. the gall bladder. endocrine system. focus, hatford

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Right Here

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Words:   1038
Requested by Anonymous:  Can I have a sick reader who needs surgery x Dean and she gets really nervous and anxious so they let him in the operating theatre until she gets put under and he is the first and last thing she sees when she wakes up. Lots of fluff please! 

A/N: I actually had gall stones, so part of this story is from personal experience. 



         The pain was in your ribcage. It felt like a really severe muscle cramp. But it had been going on here and there for months. And this time, at four in the morning, it was too much for you to take.

           “Dean?” you shook your boyfriend awake, “Dean?”

           “Yeah?” he opened his eyes.

           “I think,” you cringed, feeling the slight tears in your eyes, “I think I need to go to the hospital.”

           Dean was up in an instant at that. You hated hospitals and would never suggest you actually needed to go to one. He knew something was wrong.

           “What is it?” he asked, already getting dressed.

           “My ribs. It’s worse than ever.”

           Dean looked at your face, “It’s gonna be okay, Sweetheart. I promise.”

           “It hurts,” you cried.

           “I know,” he knelt in front of you, “I know it does. They’ll make it better. You’ll be okay.”

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The Writer’s Guide to Abdominal Trauma: 1 / ?

Okay, guys, I have had a LOT of questions about wounds to the belly, and at or under the bottom of the ribs. Shootings, stabbings, crossbow bolts, arrows, and fisticuffs: you guys wanna know, what’s up with wounds to the abdomen?

So gather round the ol’ anatomy book, kiddies! Auntie ScriptMedic is gonna teach you all about ABDOMINAL TRAUMA!

First, I am going to say this as loud and as hard as I can, so the people way in the back can hear me: ABDOMINAL WOUNDS ARE LIFE THREATS UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE. Yes, all of them. Yes, that one, too. I know what you were thinking. Still a life threat.

But why? Why is it so sensitive? Well….

Keep reading

Short Story

A famous writer was in his study room. He picked up his pen and started writing :

**Last year, I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed. I had to stay stuck to the bed due to this surgery for a long time.

**The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my favourite job. I had spent 30 years of my life in this publishing company.

**The same year I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.

**And in the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in bed at hospital with the cast on for several days. The destruction of car was another loss.

At the end he wrote: Alas! It was such bad year !!

When the writer’s wife entered the room, she found her husband looking sad & lost in his thoughts. From behind his back she read what was written on the paper. She left the room silently and came back with another paper and placed it on side of her husband’s writing.

When the writer saw this paper, he found his name written on it with following lines :

**Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder due to which I had spent years in pain….

**I turned 60 with sound health and got retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write something better with more focus and peace…..

**The same year my father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone or without any critical condition met his Creator…..

**The same year, God blessed my son with a new life. My car was destroyed but my son stayed alive without getting any disability……

At the end she wrote:

This year was an immense blessing of God and it passed well !!!

The writer was indeed happy and amazed at such beautiful and encouraging interpretation of the happenings in his life in that year !!!

Moral : In daily lives we must see that its not happiness that makes us grateful but grate-fulness that makes us happy.

4

quantum_enigma1.618Follow👉👉👉 @alipathwalker

The word chakra is derived from Sanskrit, meaning “wheel”, or “circle of life”. In Hinduism, the continuous flow of energy throughout the chakras is referred to as “Shakti”.

1. Muladhara: The Root Chakra – located at base of the spine. Associated with red. It affects your confidence, trust in life and self-esteem. It is from here that our base instincts arise; the need to survive or the fight or flight reflex. Hindu God – Lord Ganesh and Brahman.

2. Swadhisthana: The Sacral Chakra – located below the navel. Associated with orange. It affects sexual desires, attractions and the need to procreate. Other emotions, such as, anger, fear and hatred stem from this chakra. Hindu God – L ord Vishnu

3. Manipura: The Solar Plexus Chakra – located at the bottom of the breast bone. Associated with bright yellow. It affects the lower back, digestive system, liver and gall bladder. Feelings that are associated with this chakra, include, determination, self-acceptance and will power. It is here that instinctual emotion translates to more complex emotions. Hindu God – Maharudra Shiva

4. Anahata: The Heart Chakra – located at the center of the chest. Associated with green. Feelings associated with this location are love, compassion, emotional security, forgiveness and loving kindness. Hindu God – Ishvara

5. Vishuddha: The Throat Chakra – located at the throat, over the larynx. Associated with blue. It is the source of our ability to communicate, and express creativity and individuality. Hindu God – Sadashiva

6. Ajna: The Third Eye Chakra – located at front of the head in between eye brows. Associated with indigo. The mind, as the sense organ and action organ are associated with this chakra. Feelings associated with this chakra are spirituality, awareness, and sense of time. Hindu God -Ardhanarishvara –an androgynous form of Hindu god Lord Shiva and Parvati.

7. Sahasrara: The Crown Chakra – located at the top of the head. Associated with purple, or gold. It is from this chakra that all others emanate. It relates to cosmic consciousness.

Every Word- University! Dan Howell x Reader

Wow, so first of all I AM VERY SORRY. Especially to the sweet anon that requested this. This took way too long and I am sorry. I spent a while in the hospital, found out I have spherocytosis, and got my gall bladder removed. This means LOTS of makeup work. Yeah lmao I’ll stop whining now. Anyway, here it is! Enjoy! (●´ω`●)

Request: hey! i was wondering if you could do this prompt? Dan used to pick on the reader in middle school and then they went to separate high schools but now she is in the same college as Dan and she became hot as hell and really popular

Yes! I can certainly try you sweet, patient anon!

SWEARING!

The older you got the more you realized confidence is hot as hell. When you were younger you were teased for how you dressed and for being one of the only girls in middle school who didn’t wear makeup. But, come to find out, the most attractive thing people found in each other was confidence, the self love and trust to strut into a room and act like you own the place.

So, that’s just what you did, walking into your first day working in the campus coffee shop. And although the way you carried yourself made you feel sexy as fuck, you had become the queen of makeup and halfway through high school your boobs had finally come in. Just to reiterate, you were a goddess.

Your new boss greeted you, told you a bit more about the campus, and you began; how exciting! Well, not really. Few students trickled in, and you had started to entertain yourself by sitting behind the counter and decorating a binder. You got off in about an hour and would have an hour to be in your first class of the day. You heard the entrance open, but didn’t bother looking up. “Welcome.”

You heard him yelling something, but it certainly wasn’t at you. You looked up, and the stranger was yelling something out the door, presumably to a friend outside, and his back was turned to you. Cute hair, tall, cute bum. Oh, without even seeing his face you could tell he was fine. Suddenly he turned around, catching you looking at his bum, and when you looked up at his eyes you could not believe who it was you were checking out.

Dan Howell.

He chuckled and you looked back down at your binder. Your middle school bully who you were certain you would never see again just caught you checking out his ass. Splendid. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice who you were?

He approached the counter and you willed yourself to stand and look at him. “Good morning Dan-” SHIT.

He looked a bit taken back but somewhat amused, “Um, what?”

“I said good morning, how can I help you?”

He studied your eyes, causing you to blush a little, then the realization washed over his face. “Oh shit, Y/N is that you? Y/N Y/L/N?”

You groaned, “How could you tell?”

He laughed, “Well you certainly look a hell of a lot different, but your eyes are the same. And that dorky necklace.”

Were you flattered? Offended? Both? “Well, I’m not the same girl you knew back then so don’t pretend you still know me, and I don’t intend on you coming to know me again. How can I help you?”

“Where did you go? I remember my parents telling me you had moved out of the neighborhood.”

“Where I moved is none of your business. How can I help you?”

“Why are you being so defensive?”

The built up emotion within you finally met the surface. “Do you remember anything about growing up? How much you teased me? How you said I was ugly for wearing my hair up and not wearing makeup and how my teeth were gross and how I looked like I dressed myself in the dark and how you felt bad for the guy who’d end up dancing with me at school functions?”

Dan was very taken back and took a second to collect his thoughts, then spoke in a whisper, “You remember exactly what I said? Everything?”

Your gaze shifted from his face to the floor as you quoted him, word for word. “You are the ugliest girl at this school and you will never, ever, have friends if your face remains an instant repellent.”

He looked down at his own feet, and back up at you. “Y/N.” You looked up and were instantly immersed in the sincerity in his eyes. “I’m very sorry for what I said as a kid. I didn’t mean a single word of it. If anything, you were the prettiest girl I knew. When we were friends before I admired how creative and productive and funny you were. I guess I really, really liked you Y/N.”

You blushed a little then gave a smirk, “Just so you know, I have lots of friends, not because I wear makeup but because of who I am. A face doesn’t define who you are, the inside does.”

He gave the prettiest chuckle you had ever heard. “You’re right, I guess I didn’t know that back then.”

“So what do you want? You’re kinda at my place of work and I am assuming before this chat you were wandering in for a coffee.”

“Tell me about your friends.”

You snickered. “I’m friends with everyone, can you believe it? The people love me. How can I help you?”

He laughed. “I was hoping you’d forgive me for what I did back then, and I’d love to become friends again.”

“Forgiven. But you still haven’t ordered anything Daniel.”

“You have got lots of friends now Y/N, but what I want to know is do you have a boyfriend?”

Smile to smile, both of you very genuine. "What do you want Dan?”

“Have a coffee with me?”

A Many Splendored Thing

On the (late) occasion of the birthday of @pluckyredhead​: a toast, milady, to a good year and many more. 


Sweetheart, they’re suspecting things (People will say we’re in love)

On normal days, Ginny finds the swish of windshield wipers soothing. But tonight, in high gear, it just sounds like her little Honda Civic is hyperventilating. As she drives past a bus stop, she spots two figures under a broken umbrella.

“Hey guys!” She yells to be heard over the rain. “Matt! Foggy! Do you guys need a ride?”

“No, we’re–” Matt starts.

“Oh, I guess, if you have room,” Foggy says reluctantly.

Ginny blinks. They’re not huddled like penguins just because they’ve got half an umbrella, they’re holding hands.

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anonymous asked:

Hey tess! What are your thoughts on the pill? And like safe sex and stuff? I don't particularly want to go on the pill but my mum thinks it's the safest option.... thanks Hun!! ❤

The pill is not safe in my opinion! When you take birth control pills, you impose synthetic hormones on your natural cycle. (yes I understand people use it for other reasons and some have a “good experience”) but longterm there are detrimental health risks; Increased risk of cervical and breast cancers, Increased risk of heart attack and stroke, Migraines, Higher blood pressure, Gall bladder disease, Infertility, Benign liver tumors, Decreased bone density, Yeast overgrowth and infection, Increased risk of blood clotting.. + there are other methods to regulate your hormones naturally!

There are other options like vegan condoms + fertility awareness, cervical caps/sponges..etc. or your partner getting the snip snip. The pill doesn’t protect against STI’s!

psa time;;

Hey guys, just wanted to let you all know that I might not be around that much this weekend… I spent most of this early morning in the ER with severe stomach pain. I’m okay, but apparently it was my gall bladder so I have to have an ultrasound done on it Monday – I’m kinda nervous bc removal is a possibility and I hope that’s not what it comes down to.

I love you all and thank you so much for all the support you’ve already given to me thus far. ❤ *hugs and love*

6

The Hensel girls are the rarest form of conjoined twins, the result of a single fertilised egg which failed to separate properly in the womb.
They have two spines (which join at the pelvis), two hearts, two oesophagi, two stomachs, three kidneys, two gall bladders, four lungs (two of which are joined), one liver, one ribcage, a shared circulatory system and partially shared nervous systems.
From the waist down, all organs, including the intestine, bladder and reproductive organs, are shared.
While they were born with three arms, one was removed surgically.
Although Brittany - the left twin - can’t feel anything on the right side of the body and Abigail - the right twin - can’t feel anything on her left, instinctively their limbs move as if co-ordinated by one person, even when typing e-mails on the computer.
It is rare for twins conjoined the way that Abby and Brittany are to survive into adulthood, but despite this they are in good health, without heart defects or organ failure.

272: Nails

Nails have been used in Ozark folk healing and magic in a variety of ways. There’s a belief among Hillfolk that the object that hurt the individual was just as important to the healing process as the medicine put onto the wound. Knife blades, bullets, and nails were often treated with healing salves and plants alongside the puncture or cut itself. Rusty nails were added to tonics to prevent tetanus or to treat illnesses like tuberculosis. Water made from soaking new nails was seen as a sure treatment for anemia and iron deficiencies, and sometimes the sickness itself could be taken off the patient and nailed to a tree. Nails were driven into footprints to deal lethal blows to foes and witches alike. Coffin and gallows nails were carried by Hillfolk as an amulet to ward of certain venereal diseases.


Curing a boil – “One way to cure boils, according to an old neighbor, is to rub a greasy string on a rusty nail and then throw the nail away where it will not be found. Hang the string on the inside of the cabin door, and touch the boil with the string several times a day.” ~Randolph OMF 125

Nail thrust into a bar of soap to prevent tetanus – “Boys in some parts of Arkansas carry the nail home and thrust it into a bar of soap, to the same depth that it was accidentally stuck into the foot; it is not clear exactly why they do this, but it is evidently connected with the idea of preventing rust, which is associated in the hillman’s mind with tetanus, or lockjaw.” ~Randolph OMF 158

In the doorway to protect from witchcraft – “Some of the old-timers drive three nails into the outside of a door, in the form of a triangle, to keep witches away from the cabin; one man told me that the three nails represent the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost and were particularly efficacious in protecting an expectant mother from the powers of evil.” ~Randolph OMF 283

Gallows nails against venereal disease – “Nails taken from a gallows are supposed to protect a man against venereal disease and death by violence. Country blacksmiths used to secure these nails and hammer them out into finger rings. As recently as 1943 there were boys in the Army wearing rings of metal taken from a gallows at Galena, Missouri, where ‘Red’ Jackson was hanged for murder in 1936.” ~Randolph OMF 152

“Nails taken from a gallows are supposed to be effective for warding off venereal disease.” ~Parler FBA III 3492

Nails driven into a witch’s footprint – “Mr. G. H. Pipes told me a witch story, which he had from Grandmaw Bryant of Reeds Spring, Missouri, in the early 1920’s. It seems that some carpenters were building a house, and the work was going very well until a certain old woman walked slowly past. From that moment everything went wrong. The workmen couldn’t hit nails but hammered their thumbs instead. They dropped their tools repeatedly, and one narrowly missed falling off the ridgepole. After two or three days of this, they called in a witch doctor. He found the old woman’s trail in the dirt and drove a big nail into one of her heel prints. As soon as this was done, the carpenters went to work again, and the building was completed with no further difficulty. The old witch had a very sore foot and limped around with a bandage on her heel nearly all winter.” ~Randolph OMF 288

Taking a spell off of a gun – “There is an old story of a famous hunter whose rifle suddenly lost its accuracy. He believed that the weapon was witched by an old woman who lived near his cabin. All smiles, the hunter went to see this woman and borrowed a nail to fasten the heel of his boot, which he said was loose. Returning home, he drove the nail into the stock of his rifle; instantly the spell was broken, and the hunter could shoot as well as ever.” ~Randolph OMF 293-294

Coffin nail to make a gun deadlier – “Some old-timers believe or at least pretend to believe that the man who drives a coffin nail into the butt of his gun will never fail to kill an enemy. The coffin nail must be one which has been used and buried in the ground, of course.” ~Randolph OMF 294

Coffin nails used in ritual against a witch – “There is one case reported from the Cookson Hill country of Oklahoma, just across the Arkansas line, where a prominent citizen died in rather strange circumstances. Some of his backwoods relatives got the idea that a witch was the cause of this man’s death and decided to avenge him in the real old-time tradition. The first step was to secure three nails from the dead man’s coffin; these may be drawn before the coffin is buried in the ground, but not until after the body has been placed in the coffin. The nails must not be replaced by other nails, and the three holes in the wood should be left open. After the funeral the old-timers killed a goat, removed the heart, and thrust the three coffin nails into it. The goat’s heart with the nails in it was then enclosed in a little basket-like cage of wire and suspended out of sight in the big chimney of the dead man’s house. The theory is that, as the goat’s heart shrivels and decays, the witch will sicken and die. If she does not sicken and die, it is regarded as evidence that she was not responsible for the man’s death, after all.” ~Randolph OMF 298-299

Red oak, cherry bark, and nails for a spring tonic – “Take red oak bark and cherry bark and place in a container. Boil down, then add whiskey. Let this boil for a while and drop a handful of rusty nail…The nails…add iron to tonic to build up the blood.” ~Parler FBA II 1361

Nail in tree for bronchitis – “Go outside and drive a nail in a tree the same height that you are. If you outgrow the nail you will outgrow your bronchitis.” ~Parler FBA II 1606

Nail water for gall bladder – “When Mr. Jones was a boy in Fayetteville and had gall bladder trouble or needed iron, their father would gather up a lot of nails, rusty ones preferred, put them in a jug with water, and they would take this like medicine.” ~Parler FBA II 2293

Nail in oak tree for toothache – “If you drive a nail in an oak tree, it will cure your toothache.” ~Parler FBA III 3431

Rusty nail water for tuberculosis – “To cure tuberculosis, soak an old, rusty nail in water until the iron is out and drink this.” ~Parler FBA III 3478


Sources:

Parler, Mary Celestia - Folk Beliefs of Arkansas
Randolph, Vance - Ozark Magic and Folklore

Update, News, and Martha Gets Married Release Schedule

HI Everyone!

So I know a lot of you are excited about Martha Gets Married being finished (almost) and have some questions about it’s release. OK. Here’s the thing

On April 14th I have to have kinda major surgery. Some of ya’ll have been following this…saga surrounding my health. I got pretty sick back in January and the doctors have been working to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. Well it turns out I have these non-cancerous liver tumors that are big and growing rapidly. The issue is they are so large they are pushing on my other organs, which is making me sick and causing pain. SO. In order to take care of them, they have to remove 40% of my liver plus my gall bladder. 

I’m pretty scared because it’s like they actually have to cut me open. BUT. I think it will be ok. I have to be in the hospital at least 5 days, perhaps longer. I have no idea if I will be able to post from the hospital.

To complicate matters, but also make them REALLY AWESOME, I enlisted @minky-for-short to illustrate each chapter, and want her to be ready when it’s time to publish too.

What it looks like I am trying to say is, I will not be able to release MGM until I am out of the hospital. The timing sucks, but that’s the way it is. I am really sorry.

BUT @writerfreak2013 will be publishing her current masterpiece much sooner, so hopefully in addition to that good news, you guys can be super patient with me. I am very proud of and happy with how MGM is turning out. 

Thanks for reading. <3

anonymous asked:

Out of curiosity really, how can you use intelligence in the bedroom? To turn you on I mean?

🙊 can’t tell u too much about that can I?! 😂

Babes I get turned on just listening to Jamie talk about shit I don’t understand. He could talk to me about the inner workings of the gall bladder n that’s enough for me to want to get him in bed. He might talk to me in a bit of French or serenade me on the piano n I’m swooning. Even that Latin doctor talk is enough for me tbf 🙈 I literally just love sitting there w him when he’s learning n reading text books or when we watch documentaries n he pauses it to give me all the intricate details n facts I wouldn’t kno otherwise. Whenever he used to have to give presentations for his modules at uni I used to get him to practice by running thru it w me n then I’d take him to bed straight after 😂 couldn’t help myself 🙈 he’s got some presentations at work coming up soon n I can’t wait to b the guinea pig tbh 😉😘

Escape; pt. 2

Reader x Jungkook // (???)!AU // 7092 words

Summary: Everyone has a number over their heads that says how useful they are to society from 0-100. You have a number ‘4’. You leave the city for some peace but you meet your cocky neighbor who seems to get on your nerves.

Genre: Fluff?

Y/L/N refers to your last name/family name

A/N: This chapter’s a little long because uni starts in a few days and I’ll probably be too busy then to write anything. I… don’t really know what I’ve done to this au hahaha. I hope you guys like it?
p.s: Guys, can I just say for like the 100th time that I’m so glad you guys enjoyed the first chapter and that quite a few of you left such sweet comments like idk it really made my week. Also, Happy Early Birthday, Jeon Jungkook!

Part 1 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6


Jungkook spends just about every weekend at his cabin now. He even goes to his cabin mid-week if he has the time. He finds it easier to think while being surrounded with nature but it isn’t just that. Whenever he’s up here in the woods, he feels like he has the chance to truly be himself. There’s always light conversation between the both of you whenever you see each other while taking a walk or chilling by the lake. He treasures these moments the most. He never has to think twice about what he has to say because you never judged him. He didn’t know how but you suddenly became his confidant, the person he would turn to whenever something was bothering him.

That’s not to say the both of you would always converse that way. The both of you would bicker like kindergartners from time to time. He’s not quite sure how it started but suddenly the two of you were always trying to one-up each other. It ranged from knowing the answers to random facts to the ability of somersaulting into the lake. Sometimes, Jungkook would think that this “competition” was getting out of hand but he couldn’t stand losing to you because you’d never shut up about it whenever you won.

He tells himself he only spends so much time at the cabin because it enables him to wind down and do better at work but he knows that isn’t the case. He knows he loves coming up to his cabin because he gets to see you chase Buster around for misbehaving or hear you groaning aloud whenever you had to clean up your front lawn or maybe you know just seeing you was enough for him. He was uncomfortable with the warmth he felt growing in his heart whenever he spent time with you but it was starting to become something he could no longer seem to ignore.


You were putting the final touches on a wooden owl figurine that a lady had asked for at the farmer’s market last weekend when you hear the shuffling of footsteps.

“Y/N, you know if you don’t want Buster anymore, I’ll have him.” Jungkook says as he cradles Buster in his arms.

“Ugh, did he sneak into your backyard again? I’m so sorry, Jungkook.” Buster leaps from Jungkook’s arms to find his way next to you.

“You know you should really pay more attention to him, you horrible owner,” He says as he browses around your living room, looking at all your finished woodcarving pieces. “Wow, Y/N this is amazing!” Jungkook exclaims as he picks up a medium-sized figurine of a Roman God.

“Thank you,” You reply shyly. “Also, I give Buster plenty of attention okay but a girl’s gotta make some money you know? You understand that, don’t you buddy?” You say while looking at Buster. He immediately leaps up onto your lap and curls up towards you. You think about how Buster won’t be able to do this by the time next year comes around because he’s growing way too fast for your liking.

Jungkook continues to lounge around, his finger occasionally grazing the pieces that were on display. He seemed to be deep in thought when suddenly he speaks up.

“Do you think you could make a dove for me?”

“Sure, a medium-sized one? It’ll cost about—“

“Hold up. I am your favourite neighbour. Surely you could give it to me for free.”

“You are my only neighbour.”

“Exactly, therefore I am your favourite neighbour.”

“That’s some horribly flawed logic. Sure, I’ll give it to you for free if you hand over one of those million-dollar apps that you own for free.”

“That’s hardly a fair trade.”

“But, I’m your favourite neighbour.”

“Touché. Do I at least get a neighbour discount?”

“No.”

“Wow, you drive a hard bargain but a wooden dove at full price, I’ll take it.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Geraldo

dreamyarcher replied to your postooc: “Gerik.” Vanessa: Gerry? “Gerik.” Maria:…

Setsuna: listen, Gall Bladder

dutifulrider replied to your post“500 G”

happy birthday gerry!

stainedglassmonk replied to your postooc: “Gerik.” Vanessa: Gerry? “Gerik.” Maria:…

libra, squinting at gerik’s name tage: gerald?

Rosemary

Gender: Masculine

Planet: Sun

Element: Fire

Spiritual Attributes: Protection, love, lust, mental powers, exorcism, purification, healing, sleep, youth. Burn to purify and cleanse. Use in love and lust incenses and potions. Use for healing of all kinds.

Medical Uses: A tea of rosemary causes the mind to be alert. Circulatory, digestive and nerve stimulant. Heals headache, depression, and halitosis. Promotes healing of wounds, acts as an antiseptic, and can be a mild stimulant. Excellent remedy for acne or cellulite. Rosemary is a tonic, astringent, restorative herb that relaxes spasm and increases the rate of perspiration, while stimulating the liver and gall bladder. It improves digestion and circulation and controls pathogenic organisms.

Medicinal Herbs & Uses: Dandelion

Dandelion

Taraxacum officinale

Other Names Common Dandelion, Lion’s Tooth, Priest’s Crown, Pu Gong Ying, Swine’s Snout, Dent de Lion Dandelion

External Uses

The fresh juice of Dandelion is applied externally to fight bacteria and help heal wounds. The plant has an antibacterial action, inhibiting the growth of Staphococcus aureus, pneumococci, meningococci, Bacillus dysenteriae, B. typhi, C. diphtheriae, proteus. The latex contained in the plant sap can be used to remove corns and warts.

Internal Uses

Dandelion is also used for the treatment of the gall bladder, kidney and urinary disorders, gallstones, jaundice, cirrhosis, hypoglycemia, dyspepsia with constipation, edema associated with high blood pressure and heart weakness, chronic joint and skin complaints, gout, eczema and acne. As a tonic, Dandelion strengthens the kidneys. An infusion of the root encourages the steady elimination of toxins from the body. Dandelion is a powerful diuretic but does not deplete the body of potassium.

Research is revealing that the many constituents of Dandelion including Taraxacin, Taraxacoside, Inulin, Phenolic acids, Sesquiterpene lactones, Triterpenes, Coumarins, Catortenoids and Minerals, mainly Potassium and calcium, are very valuable in curing a number of disorders and illnesses. Dandelion is traditionally used as a tonic and blood purifier, for constipation, inflammatory skin conditions, joint pain, eczema and liver dysfunction, including liver conditions such as hepatitis and jaundice.

Other Uses

When placed in a paper bag with unripe fruit, the flowers and leaves of Dandelion release ethylene gas ripening the fruit quickly. A liquid plant food is made from the root and leaves. A dark red dye is obtained from Dandelion root. A cosmetic skin lotion made from the appendages at the base of the leaf blades distilled in water, is used to clear the skin and is effective in fading freckles.

Uses:

Dandelion Sap for
Warts
Calluses
Corns
Rough skin

Dandelion salad for
Sluggish liver
Constipation
Urinary problems
Fluid retention

Dandelion tincture for
Skin problems
Sluggish liver
Constipation
Urinary problems
Fluid retention
Arthritis
Gout
Hangovers
Chronic illness

Dandelion flower infused oil for
Muscle tension
Muscle aches
Stiff necks
Arthritis

Magickal Uses

Gender: Masculine
Planet: Jupiter
Element: Air
Deity: Hecate
Power: Divination, wishes, calling spirits

Drink dandelion tea or coffee to promote psychic powers. Leave a cup of this hot infusion by the bed to call spirits.

Dandelion Coffee:

Dig up the roots, trim off the leaves and stems and any small rootlets. Wash off the earth and scrub the roots well, leave them in a warm place to drain and dry. Cut any larger roots in half and into short lengths, spread the pieces on a shallow roasting tin and bake in a hot oven (400F, 200C, Gas 6) for 30 minutes until the roots are brown and dry all through. Allow to cool then grind. Spread the grounds on the roasting tin and roast them for 7 minutes in a moderate oven (350F, 180C, Gas 4). Put 5-6 tablespoons grounds in a warm jub, pour on 500ml/2 cups/1 pint boiling water, stir and stand for 30 minutes. Strain into a pan and re-heat.

Dandelion Fizz

Gather the dandelion flowers in the sun, when they are fully open. The drink is very mildly alcoholic, sweet and quenching.

1 litre/5 cups prepared dandelion flowers
1 ½ litres/4 ½ US quarts water
1 kilo/4 cups sugar
2 lemons

Trim the stalks from the flowers, but leave the green sepals on and discard any overblown flowers or unopened buds. The prepared dandelions should fill a 1 litre/5 cups measure when gently pressed down.

Wash the flowers in a colander and tip them into an earthenware, enamel or plastic container preferably with a well fitting lid. Pour the boiling water on to the dandelions, cover the vessel with a lid, board or weighted plate and leave to stand for 12 hours.

Strain the liquid through a double thickness of muslin into a large saucepan. Add the sugar and the pared rind and juice of the lemons. Heat gently and stir until the sugar has dissolved, but do not allow to boil. Strain the liquid into jugs and leave to cool. Pour into clean, dry bottles with strong screw caps. Store in a cool, dark place. The brew is ready to rink in three or four weeks.