not the correct mentality

Hallucinations

• relax - voices are often caused by stress, so try to focus on your breathing.

• distract yourself - focus on a task or watch tv.

• ask your voices a question, that you dont know the answer to - if they dont know the answer the voices must be coming from within you.

• background sounds - people have reported that listening to music or having the tv on sort of drowns the voices.

• talk back to your voices - ask them to leave and say no if they order you to do things, remind yourself who’s in control.

• know your triggers - it may help to keep a diary of when the voices are more active.

• medication - modern anti-psychotics are 80-90% effective in revieling voices and will often make them disappear.


Delusions

• distraction - same with hallucinations.

• give them facts - checking facts and statistics may help

• talk about them - in my case, the more i talked about my thoughts, the more unrealistic they seemed. That may not happen to everyone, but it is helpful to talk about them.

• know your trigggers - same with hallucinations.

• medication - same with hallucinations.

Don’t

• dont isolate yourself - this is common among people with schizophrenia, but talking about what youre experiencing, or at least see a friend, is helpful


• dont do drugs - it might feel like it helps, but its only temporary. In the long run street drugs may make your symptoms worse and put you on a higher risk of relapse.

  • someone: connor murphy is the villain of dear evan hansen
  • me, an intellectual: connor is in no way the villain. he is a complex person with severe mental health issues, and given the correct treatment, help, and support, he could have become a better person. in fact, there are no villains in dear evan hansen because each character has their own flaws, their own good sides, and their own problems/situations/circumstances. it's representing the real world.
5

[small continuation of the ‘comic’]

Blackhat could see Dr. Flug’s throat bobbing as if he’d just swallowed, gloved hands wringing and shoulders pulled up. The smoke that came from the small glowing ball in place of his head wasn’t lazily curling behind him anymore as it had been before Blackhat had grabbed the Doctor thinking him an intruder, instead it was balling up and condensing as if trying to make itself as unnoticeable as possible.

“Um, please don’t eat me?” Dr. Flug’s voice reached him, quieter and fainter than it usually did, muffled, as if it came form further away, or behind a thick curtain. Blackhat guessed that it had to do with the type of head chosen but he couldn’t be sure. He had never actually paid attention to Object Heads, let alone talked with one. Or so he thought.

One way or another that still didn’t explain why Dr. Flug thought he would eat him , honestly. The man-, Object Head, Blackhat corrected himself mentally, was constantly expecting the worst of everything. To be fair this was nothing compared to the wariness he’d displayed when Blackhat had freshly employed him several months ago, but still.

“Dr. Flug we both know that I don’t have to eat.”

“W-Well, ” he started, stopped and rubbed his hand along the stump of his neck, “not the meat of course, but you eat souls and my kind is a whole lot of soul compared to just a human. And I’d be grateful to uh, keep it. Never mind the part-”

“Dr. Flug.”

“-where I couldn’t work because I’d be-”

“FLUG!”

The smoke compacted for a second into a dense sphere, the Doctor flinching backwards.

Realization had dawned on Blackhat. The reason his scientist was so twitchy, to anxious, so afraid all the time. Of course, how could he not have realised!

“I am not a demon.” Blackhat hissed, “I don’t eat souls, I don’t eat. Period. I’m eldritch we don’t need something as base as sustenance!”

He could practically see the gears turning, evaluating new information, hands slowly sinking, shoulder cautiously relaxing. The smoke, bobbing and wafting, instead of tightly clustered.

“Y-You’re not? You’re-”

“Eldritch, yes, pay attention Doctor.”

A tense silence hung between them for a moment, until Dr. Flug barked out a tense laugh.
“And all this time I was wondering if the lab is really worth getting eaten sooner than later.”

“Urgh…” Blackhat grumbled, “You just took the fun out of every single time I scared you.”  

Confidence and Insecurities

Being insecure and lack of confidence is something we all go through and it often stops us from living life to the fullest, so here are some tips on how to beat your insecurities and gain confidence.

  • Remember- not being insecure doesn’t just happen over night. It’s a gradual process that takes time.
  • Realize everyone has flaws. It’s probably one of those things that you’re tired of hearing but it’s true  
  • Learn to embrace your flaws
  • Spend time naked - don’t rush to put on clothes after a shower (unless you’re late) or when it’s hot out and you’re in your house, don’t be afraid to strip down to your undies
  • Show your body some extra love in the shower…caress it like the ladies in the soap commercials if you have to
  • take time to correct negative thoughts about yourself mentally and physically. For example: the classic “I’m not short, I’m fun sized” or don’t like the way your hair look? Style it differently. 
  • Take care of yourself and show your body love daily
  • Positive affirmations are key - tell yourself you’re beautiful daily and say it like you mean it

Building Confidence

  • Workout. You’ll feel better by knowing you’re making the effort 
  • Try clothes you didn’t think you would like. You’d be surprised by what you look great in
  • If you’re someone who likes to wear makeup, practice until you achieve the look you want
  • Wear clothes that make you feel sexy regardless of what other people think about it 
  • Think and act positive
  • Stand tall and walk with a purpose 
  • Smile 
  • Help others. When you help others you feel good because you help them 
  • Empower yourself and others
  • As always- fake it till you make it. By acting confident on a daily basis you gradually become more confident 
bad med mix- birth control
  • Antipsychotics, (especially lamotrigine) combined with the contraceptive pill and some antibiotics will interact, this includes acne medications - male doctors are especially bad at remembering to mention this.
  • This has a high risk of compromising your birth control. 
  • Especially if you start to notice any spotting: stop taking the antibiotics (if it is safe to do so) and call your Doctor. 
  • As an extra precaution, if something like this does happen, it’s probably worth using barrier protection as well til the end of the month  
  • Sometimes GPs aren’t as familiar as they should be with new generation anti-psychotic interactions or are simply too rushed to actually discuss a med change fully, it’s not fair for you to get caught out because of this.

iceemoon  asked:

Is enrichment still effective if it's not being used properly? I got my cat one of those treat puzzles and you have to knock it over a certain way to make treats fall out, but he sort of just... sticks his tongue in the treat hole trying to fish them out. His method doesn't really work as well as if he were using it the correct way, so is it still mentally stimulating for him or should I try to find him a different toy?

Enrichment is still enrichment - it’s still doing something, even if not what you intended. Even an item that isn’t really interacted with but is new is enriching. 

If your cat is fine with how he’s using that puzzle, let him keep using it (but make sure to rotate it out so he doesn’t get bored of it). If it’s appearing to frustrate him, that’s a good sign that you might want to find something else. 

Criminal Minds ladies as things I've done
  • Jennifer Jareau: I somehow befriended the group of popular mean girls in 5th grade but my teacher knew I didn't want to be there and recruited me as a spy so I spent the whole year reporting every bad thing they did
  • Kate Callahan: friended every person on facebook who was awful to me in elementary–high school so they can see how rad my life is now and how hot I got
  • Ashley Seaver: in 7th grade I got wind some kid wanted to ask me out in gym class the day we were running the mile so I ran extra fast to get away from him and I set a school record by accident
  • Elle Greenaway: a few months ago I beeped my horn at a passing male jogger just to scare the bejesus out of him and exact that good petty revenge for all the years I've spent being catcalled and I'm not sorry
  • Penelope Garcia: I act like a bad bitch but I cry at least once a week because of my cat being cute
  • Emily Prentiss: when I was 3 my balloon floated away and I was throwing a tantrum so my dad was like ”what do you want me to do about it” and I screamed ”SHOOT IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!”
  • Alex Blake: when I have to go to gatherings at bigot asshole family members' houses instead of being a bitch I smile and make nice then later steal all of their toilet paper and alcohol
  • Tara Lewis: whenever people mispronounce my name I don't correct them I just make a mental hit list on who to fuck up first if the purge was real
Negan x Reader: The Coach

A/N: FIRST AND FOREMOST LEMME JUST LET YA’LL KNOW MY INTENSE EXCITEMENT TO BE INVOLVED IN ROUND 2 OF THE NEGAN WRITING CHALLENGE. Second of all, huge thank you to @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @negans-network for creating this awesome concept! 

Masterlist

I chose the prompt Coach Negan with an OC of colour (Latina/Hispanic). Also, to avoid anyone accusing me of sexualising my own race again, I AM HISPANIC AND DO NOT ENJOY BEING SEXUALISED BECAUSE OF IT.

Originally posted by jdm-negan-mcnaughty

Warnings: Teacher/Student relationship, student is of legal age in the UK and the US (18). Racism, rough sex, daddy kink, teacher kink, slight sub/dom relationship, breath play. 

Keep reading

The Sun: Your Guiding Light

Your sun sign represents your pride, ego, and what you like about yourself, as well as what qualities you admire in others. All the planets in our solar system revolve around the sun; this celestial body gives our world structure, stability, life, and light.

When you do things for the right reason, you are more likely to find happiness and success. Your sun sign, the constellation that rules your inner guiding light, indicates what that (right) reason might be.

You should do things…

Aries: for yourself, because you fucking feel like it.

Taurus: because you want to, and only because you want to.

Gemini: because you want to know more about the world around you.

Cancer: because they make you feel safe, cared for, and comfortable.

Leo: because they bring you attention, love, and recognition.

Virgo: because they help you become a better person, and help others too.

Libra: because they bring you inner peace and sate your thirst for justice.

Scorpio: because they make you feel deeply and resonate with your inner truth.

Sagittarius: because they’re fun, and make you smile and laugh.

Capricorn: because they pave the way to your future.

Aquarius: because they help you genuinely feel connected to other people.

Pisces: because they help merge your internal fantasies with external reality.

Example/explanation: If a Sagittarius uses, say, Cancer’s reason as their ‘guiding light,’ they are likely to end up feeling trapped and stuck. With Virgo’s reason, they might feel bored, anxious, and burdened. With Pisces’ reason, they may feel lost. A Sagittarius who does things just for fun, instead of to establish future security (like a Capricorn) or to get attention/recognition (Leo) is more likely to accomplish their chosen goal, and have a good time doing it. Things come to you more naturally if you approach your goals with the correct mentality.

*also applicable to your rising sign

Go Go ‘Power Rangers’ (2017 Review)

Is this good? Is this bad? Will my inner-child allow me to judge this appropriately?

“Power Rangers” is a reboot of the classic 1990s action-packed children’s show “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers,” which in turn is based on the Japanese tokusatsu “Super Sentai Series.” It’s directed by Dean Israelite and stars a cast of young actors, as well as Bryan Cranston, Bill Hader and Elizabeth Banks. The film is set in the small, fictional town of Angel Grove, where local high school students Jason Scott, Kimberly Hart and Billy Cranston (Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott and RJ Cyler, respectively) are all caught up in detention. Through a series of shenanigans, they come across Trini and Zack (Becky G and Ludi Lin, respectively) as they all discover an ancient, otherworldly construct. It’s there where they meet Zordon (Cranston) and his robot assistant Alpha 5 (voiced by Hader), and attain the responsibility of becoming a powerful team known as the Power Rangers, and to stop the destruction of an ancient, powerful witch known as Rita Repulsa (Banks). 

This is the absolute perfect “what if” movie. The answer to “what if they remade ‘Power Rangers’ for adults” question. This is the film we asked for, albeit cautiously. We really owe it to franchises such as the “Transformers” series, because without them, this film would be seen as an impossible reach.

Being a millennial, I was very much a child when “Power Rangers” had its long television run, and I stayed true through each incarnation, from “Mighty Morphin” to “Lightspeed Rescue,” and considered myself a retired fan after “Dino Thunder” (I was already in middle school at the time). So yes, shameful as it is, I know my shit. As you can see, I want this to be good. But was it?

Yes. Surprisingly, it was pretty good. It’s not shockingly “I thought this was going to be shit but it ended up being amazingly amazing” good. It’s just good.

Here’s one thing that the film does better than the TV show: the acting. In a great departure from the “Saved by the Bell” mood that the 90s actors gave us, we now have grounded, realistic, rebellious teenagers. These new actors fit the “teenagers with attitude” description way better than the 90s actors ever did. You have Montgomery as Jason, playing the rebel who ends up having to deal with the most responsibility. Scott plays Kimberly, the girl who does a good job of not just being the obligatory female casting, or the fighting damsel-in-distress, unlike the original. The dialogue between these two is usually filled with charm, whether its casual banter or a proclamation of their contempt for Angel Grove. 

But they do something different with the rest of the cast, which helps to modernize them. Cyler as Billy provides the humor and keeps the grittiness from ever getting lower and lower. Of the five teenagers, he is the one with the most charisma But he also serves to represent autistic teens everywhere. Yes, unlike the television counterpart, they made the Blue Ranger autistic, which is a pretty bold and commendable step for something based off a children’s property.

To keep the ball rolling, they then make Becky G’s Trini represent lesbians and confused, oppressed teenagers everywhere. Okay, this film had me at shedding light on autism, but encouraging more LGBT representation? Hats off to you, Lionsgate and Saban. Despite this, I found Becky G’s performance to be slightly annoying until about halfway through the movie, when they developed her much more, and gave her a more integral role in the plot. 

While I praised the rest of the cast, I’d have to drop the axe on Ludi Lin as Zack, the Black Ranger.  Compared to all these convincing performances, Lin’s is absolutely haphazard. The way he is introduced is to set up how much of a cocky outsider he is, so naturally he’s by himself. He then starts speaking to himself, which is one of my absolute biggest pet peeves in a movie. I despise movie moments where normal-functioning people start speaking or quipping to themselves, the only sensible reason being that the writers assume the audience is too dumb to know what the character is thinking. I get it if a character has schizophrenia or another mental illness, or if the words are limited to comedic inner-banter, but not in this case. He’s someone with decent social-competence and no reason to quarrel with himself, other than provide exposition to the audience.

But like Trini, I did find him to be much less annoying when he opened up. They gave him a pretty touching backstory with his own troubles, and they make his motivations really apparent. And just to keep the ball rolling, he’s also the most foreign one of the group, being bilingual, unlike the original black ranger. Now that I think about it, many of the Power Ranger series’ casts don’t feature any overtly foreign characters, apart from maybe of an alien race. 

That is precisely why this casting works. Whether or not you find these characters annoying, you can’t doubt that they’re there for a good reason, and you might even warm up to them as the movie progresses. They also help to introduce bouts of political correctness, but they aren’t preachy or condescending about it (which is really the only good way to go about political correctness). They represent people of various colors, mental states and social capabilities, showing (but not telling) that everyone is capable of extraordinary things as long as they have camaraderie.

I can’t say much about Cranston as Zordon. It’s a great homage, seeing as how Cranston has actually been a part of “Power Rangers” since the original television show, where he voiced many of the villains they face. I do love his voice-work here, and while it took some getting used to, I ended up really liking how they presented him. Rather than a chubby, floating head in a tube, they made him manifest into a wall, kind of like one of those pinpression toys. Not to mention they could have easily made him a one-dimensional character. But they went above and beyond to give him his own arc, his own set of feelings and doubts, and a world of lore behind him.

If you thought Alpha 5 was annoying in the television show, then you can rest your worries because Bill Hader fixed him up good. The original’s voice was so high-pitched and screechy; basically in typical 90s fashion (or how the 90s thought Aliens would sound like). This time, he just kind of does the same thing he did as Fear from “Inside Out,” except less screaming. His design had me slightly worried but I got used to it.

Now, Elizabeth Banks as Rita Repulsa has me split down the middle. On the one hand, I do like that at least ONE person in this entire film is trying to recall the absurdity and campiness of the original series. At the same time, I found her to be over-the-top, and incredibly outlandish compared to the rest of the grounded cast. She is guilty of overacting here, which is both a blessing and a curse. The prosthetics on her are amazing though, from both start to finish. She starts out as an outright horror character, which is something I didn’t expect to see even in the gritty version of a children’s property. 

If you kept up with me for this long, you know that a recurring theme here is that this film takes several risks that are rather uncharacteristic of a children’s property. Sure, there are hints of silliness to try and match the youthful appeal of the original, but they also throw in more mature bits of humor, about things such as drug tests and jacking off a cow (no joke). Me personally, I welcome these jokes. If anything, this is much more of a film for the adults who grew up watching “Power Rangers,” rather than children. The maturity really shines through in the form of character development and chemistry.

I must say that if you are bringing a child to watch this, keep in mind there will be mild swearing, and several mature jokes.

A common criticism (ad nauseam, pretty much) is that this film is a forced collision between two different movies. Two thirds of the movie is essentially the origin story, which focuses mainly on character development. At the same time, this is the section that appeals to the audience the most, whether you’re fans of the original or not. No one comes into anything titled “Power Rangers” and expects to feel for the characters. But through one particular scene where all the characters develop a kinship, we develop a peculiar attachment to each of them. It was at this moment that I’m glad these people are the ones I’m spending five more movies with (Yup, that’s right).

But when it sticks to the original, it definitely sticks, and that’s where the last third of the movie comes in. If you’re looking for cool looking suits fighting monsters with martial arts and gymnastics, you will get it. If you’re looking for giant robot dinosaurs battling another giant monster, you will get it. And MOST OF ALL, if you want to, at least once, hear the iconic theme song, you will get it. In all it’s pure, epic goodness.

But this is where I have to defend my appreciation for this movie, because many people will come in accusing me of being “blinded by nostalgia.” Despite having these borrowed features from the original show, there is really nothing nostalgic about it. The action here is far better than most of the show’s episodes. There is no silliness to be had apart from what would be silly by realistic standards (as opposed to having two obligatory bully characters).

Even some elements taken from the show are vastly different. Case in point: Rita, who in this film is actually getting shit done by herself rather than sitting up in some moon tower yelling at everyone.

Even the formula of the show is broken up here. Back then, everything was so fast-paced to where every time a new series was brought in, the new team of Power Rangers would unrealistically form intimate familial connection and extraordinary abilities within 20 minutes. This film actually shows you that the Power Rangers had to train for this, both physically and mentally. They didn’t just have these abilities bestowed upon them as a result of the plot rushing it together. You see them work for it, which is something I really appreciated about it.

I had to bring that up because many of the people who didn’t like this film will be quick to see reactions like mine and guilt me for “nostalgia.” But that “tone difference” that they’re faulting this for is the reason why you can’t pin nostalgia on this. All that means is that everything I liked about this film has been on its own merits, maybe (at most) perpetuated by quick little homages to the original. 

I suppose before I wrap this up I should mention one more thing. Not really a problem, but more like something I wish happened: I wish they played the theme song more. It was wonderful hearing the iconic theme song, perfectly borrowed from the 1995 film, and at the height of its “Power Ranger-ness.” But I felt that if they really were gonna throw it in there, they should have totally owned it and at least left it playing for a bit longer. If not that, then at least make an instrumental cover to play in the background during the climax, rather than GODDAMN KANYE.

This is a film that has fans and critics alike split down the middle, but it’s pretty clear that everyone who hates it is hating it for the same two reasons: (1) It has a massive tone-clash towards the end, and (2) It caters way too much toward product promotion for Krispy Kreme donuts. I do agree with the latter, make no mistake. But when I hear people complain about this tone-clash, it reminds me of people who complained about the “slow parts” of every other superhero film, whether it’s “Captain America: Civil War,” or “Batman v Superman.” Apart from being a “Power Rangers” movie, this is also an origin story film. And for something as ridiculous as “Power Rangers,” it definitely requires a slow initiation process. To get us going on a six-movie deal, the creators will have to help casual viewers acclimate to the premise, because chances are the naysayers are the ones who skipped out on this franchise as children, and therefore missed their window of opportunity. Ironic how a movie based on a children’s property requires a mature level of patience from the audience.

As I said before, if you came into this wanting to see colored suits, martial arts, explosions and giant robots, you will get it. If you’re dragged into this film but appreciate elements like character development and chemistry, you will get that too. As someone who enjoys both, I actually would go so far as to say I loved this movie. I don’t care if I’m alone on this, but I can comfortably say that I loved the “Power Rangers” movie.

Neurodivergent Life Hack #53

A lot of stims, auditory, moving and tactile, are less noticeable when you’re wearing headphones, even if theres no music playing. People will assume you’re moving to /singing to / imitating the music thats playing in your headphones and it’s unlikely anyone will approach you!

Fanfiction is an underrated form of literature

Okay, so I get that there are problems with fanfiction. Sometimes they are written poorly, or fetishize groups of people, or are just pornographic. But fanfiction is often far more than that. As someone who reads and writes fanfiction and has to constantly legitimize my hobby to others, I’d like to take a moment to highlight the positives. 

Critical Reading: It’s easy to read published works and absorb the material. We get so used to things just being the way they are because the author said so. I’ve noticed that since I started reading fanfiction, I view literature as something that is not perfect, but is content to be considered and critiqued in depth. When you read fanfiction, you not only learn to read as a writer–mentally correcting poor sentence structure and OOC moments–but you take apart the canon material and find the problems. This is especially noticeable since the release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. There were so many comments about how Harry was out of character, even though this is canon, because this is how we’ve taught ourselves to read. We don’t just cry over how our favorite characters have turned out in new content–we explain why they wouldn’t turn out like that. We make cases and discuss them with others in our fandom because we aren’t just bystanders. The stories are dynamic and pliable and nothing is set in stone.

LGBT+ Representation: In today’s society, it’s hard to find well-developed queer characters; most are two-dimensional or peripheral characters. Fanfiction, however, more often than not follows characters who have been reimagined as LGBT+. It allows us to read about characters who were created as people first, not as stereotypes. I often prefer to read fanfiction because I find characters I can relate to. Reading a fanfiction in which the protagonist Ginny Weasley is dealing with the Death Eaters’ invasion of Hogwarts while also wrestling with her feelings for Luna Lovegood is far more fun than “Classic Heterosexual Heroine Crushing on the Dark and Brooding Guy While Gay 1 and 2 Have A Dull Relationship in the Background Mostly Based Around Them Being Gay”, or “These Two Male Characters Act Very In Love But Are Actually Just Really Really Good Friends And Oh Hey Look It’s An Incompatible Female Character for One to Crush On” (Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child). It’s sometimes hard to find publishers who will publish content that revolves around LGBT+ characters, but the beautiful thing about fanfiction is that it is self-published with the click of a button. We don’t have to write things that will get approved by editors or publishers. We just write what we relate to, and what makes us happy. This is so freeing for authors who are afraid to write what they relate to because they’re told they won’t ever be published. You can write about a lesbian protagonist, or a transgender one, or a pansexual one, or whatever else your heart sings. And the beautiful thing is that there is a community who will read and give feedback.

Looks at Fiction in a New Way: So often, fanfiction writers are criticized for plagiarizing or being unoriginal. But to most of us, the characters we love aren’t just characters. They’re people who have made us feel love and pain. People who have changed the way we think about the world. So yeah, we’re not creating new characters, but to most of us, it’s like writing historical fiction. We take people we care about and write their story, or alter their story. We breathe new life into side characters and redeem the harshly judged characters with gray areas. People have depth and layers and there’s no way canon tells you everything there is to know about a character. We write between the lines and give pasts and futures to characters stuck in time. Yes, they already exist. But they don’t exist the way we write them.

Keeps the Stories Alive: This is a major point. No matter how much you love a story, there is a point when rereading the same books becomes dull. Writing fanfiction allows us to take the characters we love and place them in new situations with new results. It allows us to fix things and reinterpret things and take things apart entirely. It gives us new material to consider, and new perspectives on canon events. It makes us want to reread our favorite books, because it gives us new lenses to read them through. It gives us an unlimited stay in our favorite worlds and brings novelty to old stories. Fanfiction means our favorite books and characters never have to get old. They are constantly changing and growing as we do. If you read Harry Potter as a kid but have trouble relating as an adult, there are multitudes of post-Hogwarts fics to reenter the world of witchcraft and wizardry. We never have to outgrow our favorite stories, or tire of the same plotlines we memorized ages ago. We write new ones, and that is something so magical and amazing that it’s worth every moment spent searching AO3 or ff.net for a well-written fic. It’s worth the wrinkled noses and snorts we get when people hear we read fanfiction. It’s worth the sleep lost staying up reading fluff or smut or whatever else floats your boat. Because fanfiction is so much more than people think it is. It’s imagination, and reimagination, and helping our favorite stories live on for years to come. And there’s nothing more beautiful than that.

Laws Of Bygones

My ten minutes break from real life and STH fics, so you get another quick fic. For @lavengadoraaa who is as mad about Mafia AUs as I am about h/c. This one has reincarnation + mobs + soulmate AU because that’s the trifecta.
—————


The tragedy about mobs was that their stories always began with somebody’s funeral or wedding. Happy would say that they were the same, but Happy was working with his ex-wife who had asked his boss to kill him in grief; his opinion didn’t exactly sound unbiased. The tragedy remained, therefore, in Tony’s eyes that a mob’s story always began with a gathering that had bad music and worse food.

If Tony were to write the story, it would begin with a bad idea. And an explosion, though both went hand in hand when it came to him. Anyway, it would always begin with somebody saying they didn’t have a choice before doing something stupid.

“Rhodey shot Wilson,” Pepper announced as she walked into his office, her heels sinking into the scarlet carpet, “He says he had no choice.”

Like that.

“Any good news?” Tony leaned back on his high chair and looked up from his monthly report of the warehouses they were monitoring.

“Wilson survived,” Pepper said and sank into the dark chair opposite to Tony, toeing off her heels and shooting Tony a wry look.

The good stories began with bad decisions, Tony mentally corrected himself, but the great ones began with bad decisions that led to worse consequences. Like an officer surviving a bullet from a mobster.

“Any witnesses?”

“It’s Rhodey,” Pepper raised an eyebrow and Tony nodded in acceptance.

“Fair enough, no witnesses then,” he commented, stretching his arms and linking his hands behind his head, “What’s the problem then?”

“Rogers is the one on the case now,” Pepper said with a pinched look and a cutting glance, “And he’s pissed.”

“He’s been pissed since he got into that uniform,” Tony snorted, “Shouldn’t have made it two sizes smaller.”

“Tony”

“Pepper,” Tony returned her tone before sighing, “Why do you nag me about things you can handle with one hand tied? You’ve handled Rogers before. You can do it again.”

“No, you’ve handled him before,” Pepper corrected him with an amused grin, “I’ve handled your mess and clean-up. Which I hope I never have to do again”.

“It’s good to hope, Potts. The world runs on hope,” Tony grinned and tilted his head to observe her, “Really, Pepper. What’s the problem here? So Rogers is on the case. Do the usual. Pull Rhodey in, put either Viz or Happy out as bait, and throw in a bone of either Hammer or Vanko’s latest news for Rogers to catch. You know the drill. You created the drill.”

“It’s not that simple this time”

“Why not?“

“Hammer threw out a bone against us,” Pepper took a breath and held Tony’s gaze, “Tony, he leaked Spider-Man’s identity.”

Tony heard the whirring of a drill somewhere downstairs, the faint strains of Equinox from the jazz bar next door, and the soft chime of a customer entering the salon above them. He heard them all but only through the rush in his ears. 

 Mob stories were great and made good legends. But Tony would never write one at the cost of a kid’s life.

“Fix the set-up,” he said in the tone that only came out when he dealt with death and monsters above it, “It’s time to distract Officer Rogers through a meeting with a bigger bone.” 

 Pepper, like she always did, simply picked out her phone and prepared for the worst.

 -x-x- 

 Steve turned off the radio when he reached the defunct warehouse 12 on Carter Street. Radiohead’s Optimistic dwindled into silence as he looked out his window and considered the place.

To an untrained eye it would look like just another warehouse; abandoned, dormant, and quiet in its existence. Steve knew better though. He had seen a lot many good men walk into such warehouses and walk out on shoulders of their friends, in cold coffins. He had heard a lot many stories and lived a lot many tales of injuries and scars that came out of such warehouses. They weren’t always abandoned. 

They were a test of survival. 

“All units stay alert,” he whispered into his hidden comm and opened his car door to get out, “We can’t afford any mistakes." 

 His shoes crushed strewn pieces of glass and gravel as Steve walked to the door of the warehouse and eyed the red shutter button on its right end. He pressed on it but nothing happened. If Natasha’s intel were true, he was supposed to meet a whistleblower on the Iron Legion, the mob that had made the department look like headless chicken with every case they lost them in. Sam had come close to nabbing one of its members last week but had been shot in the shoulder for his efforts. Steve knew that it was unfair to be frustrated, but he wished Sam had seen the man’s face at the least. 

 The whistleblower he had come to meet today was an ex-employee of Stane Industries, the company that Iron Legion had destroyed to the ground a few months back. Natasha said that he had been personally hurt by the mob’s boss and had escaped by the skin of his teeth. It was understandable then why he had been hesitant to come out in the open. Steve just hoped that the man, Knight Natasha said his name was, could come through for them now. 

 Steve pressed the button once more and heard some noise from within the warehouse. He moved back and tensed up, one hand close to the gun on his hip. The shutter rattled in a minute before Steve saw it open up, the place dark inside.  

"Are you Steve Rogers?” a voice asked and Steve tried to find a form in the darkness. 

 "Yes, do you have some light?“ he asked, eyes still trained on the source of the voice. 

 "Uh, yeah, I think so, wait a minute,” the voice coughed and Steve heard a small swear before a sound of victory. There was a click of a lighter and Steve took a step forward as the fire of the lighter slowly brightened to reveal the face of a man. 

 "Hi" the man smiled awkwardly and looked around Steve’s shoulder, “Sorry, are you - you’re Steve Rogers, right?" 

 "Yes, and you are Mr. Knight?” Steve asked and the man nodded. His eyes seemed to be darting around Steve’s surroundings and Steve cleared his throat. 

“Do you want to go inside or…?" 

 "What? Oh! Sorry!” the man fumbled and moved inside, “Watch your step, there’s a bump I think, yeah sure, come in." 

 "There’s no light?” Steve asked, even as he moved inside, following Knight’s lighter. 

 "Oh, um, yeah, the fuse kinda went off,“ the man chuckled awkwardly, leading Steve inside, "You don’t always check warehouses before renting them, right? I mean, there’s no website or recommendations or anything for them. You just grab the first empty one you get." 

 "Right,” Steve said and looked around him, finding nothing really visible in clarity, “Do you think we could find something else to get some more light first?" 

 "Oh, uh, sure?” Knight turned around and looked at Steve, “Do you, um, have a flashlight or something?" 

 Steve nodded and reached into his pocket to grab the pocket flashlight, taking it out and switching it on. Knight brought up a hand and shielded his eyes when the light hit him directly. "Oh sorry, here, sorry,” Steve lowered his torch and Knight switched off his lighter, bringing his hand down to look up at Steve again. In the better and slightly brighter light, Steve caught a good look of the man and felt himself freeze. 

 The man had the most gorgeous pair of warm brown eyes and a jaw as sharp as a knife. He wore a pair of black rimmed glasses but they did nothing to hide the startling wonder of his eyes, large and expressive in every blink. Steve was never the kind of man to let his emotions loose during a job but there was something about the slight smile and twinkle in the eyes of this man that made his blood sing. Some pull in that face that hit Steve’s gut like a faded laugh. 

 "Hi, okay, now I see you,“ Knight smiled shyly, an awkward and soft tilt of his lips, and Steve had to squash a rising temptation to keep his eyes on those lips.

 "Yeah, I see you too,” Steve replied dumbly and pulled himself together when the man’s expression turned mildly confused, “So, Mr. Knight, I’m glad that I finally found you. Do you have something good for me?" 

 "I don’t know about good,” Knight huffed ruefully and shrugged, “But whatever I’ve got, I’ll give it to you.” Steve was sure that it wasn’t intended to sound flirtatious but he still had to will his interest down before nodding. 

“I’m all ears" 

 "Oh, um, I just start talking?” Knight blinked at Steve and Steve shrugged.  

“Sure" 

 "Okay,” the man cleared his throat before looking back at Steve seriously, “I met Iron Man, the boss of Iron Legion, when I was working with SI. He, uh, he had some problems with my boss and I guess decided one day that he was going to settle it once and for all." 

 "The reactor blast,” Steve chimed in and Knight nodded jerkily. 

 "Yeah, that,“ he took a stuttering breath, "Stane told his employees to leave him alone in the research basement and asked just a few of us engineers to help him work on one of our oldest projects, the Arc Reactor. One of us, Doctor Yinsen, said that we couldn’t weaponize the reactor’s energy since it went against the oldest policy set by Mr. Stark -" 

 "Anthony Stark? I thought he was dead in that jet crash over Afghanistan?,” Steve frowned and Knight laughed humourlessly. 

 "Oh he died alright,“ he shook his head ,"but not before sending an announcement through his PA, Ms. Virginia, that the arc reactor project’s weapons section would be shut down. Virginia spoke about it to Stane but…I guess they had some altercation. Anyway, Virginia was fired the same day and Stane never made the announcement public." 

 "But Yinsen knew about it,” Steve surmised, now engrossed in the story. 

 "Yes, he had been close to Stark and he knew about it,“ Knight sounded sadly fond when he spoke before his voice grew bitter, "He told Stane that he was going against the policy set by Stark but Stane was adamant. He fired Yinsen and then dragged him out of the basement when the man wouldn’t leave. We all…well, we never saw Yinsen again, so I assume Stane threw him out for good.”

 "How did Iron Man know about this?“ 

 "I’m not sure,” Knight shook his head, “We were working on the reactor and transferring its energy into a miniaturized core Stane had arranged when Stane got a call and he took it.” Knight took a deep breath and looked Steve in the eye. “Stane looked like he’d heard a ghost, Mr. Rogers,” he said in a hushed voice, “Nobody had ever seen Obadiah Stane lose control but that day he almost did. He said just two words before rushing out of there like a bat out of hell." 

 "What were the words?” Steve asked and Knight’s mouth twisted. 

 "Iron Man" he said and ran a hand over his face, “I didn’t see anything else till the ceiling broke and Stane fell into the reactor, burning to a crisp. But as we all ran from there, I stumbled on the miniaturized core and before I could do anything with it, I felt someone hold my shoulder." 

 "That day I looked into the eyes of Iron Man, Mr. Rogers,” Knight said in a haunted voice, “I see those eyes in my nightmares every night. Those lifeless, piercing blue eyes. They had no soul. No emotion in them. It was like staring into a dead man’s face. Cold. Robotic.”  

“And you can identify him?” Steve pressed on. 

 "In my sleep,“ Knight said confidently. "I remember him like I remember my own face." 

 "That’s good,” Steve declared and reached down into his pocket to bring out the declaration form he had brought with him, “I’m really glad that you finally decided to come out, Mr. Knight. This will help us more than you could know." 

 "Of course,” Knight smiled a bit before eyeing Steve curiously, “May I ask a question though?" 

 "Sure" 

 "Why do you want to catch Iron Man so much?" 

 "Sorry?" 

 "I mean,” Knight shrugged a bit, “apart from him being a mob boss and such, why do you want to catch him? What do you see wrong in him?" 

 "Everything,” Steve answered as he found the form and brought it out, “He’s a threat." 

 "To what?" 

 "Freedom,” Steve replied and shook the paper open, offering it to Knight, “Iron Man and his gang are a threat to the freedom of people. They’re selfish, uncaring about those who fight for the good, and unworthy of their power." 

 "Really?” Knight asked as he read through the form, “And who decides that?”

 "Decides what?“ 

 "The part about them being a threat to freedom,” Knight began pacing as he read the form with a small frown, “You said they’re a threat to the freedom of people, right? Which people? The ones who threaten the freedom and lives of others or those who are threatened every day? And why are they selfish or unworthy of their power?" 

 "Because they break the law at their whims,” Steve frowned, suspicious at the turn of the conversation. 

 "The law?“ Knight stilled and laughed lightly, "You think that the law is worthy, Officer Rogers? That wearing a blue uniform makes people right while wearing a suit makes someone wrong? The law shoots those who hold a gun, Officer. Is that still right if the one holding the gun was just someone trying to save his family from a seemingly weaponless man with power? The law questions based on things they see, but do they ask the real questions about what they saw? You speak about freedom, but you don’t tell me who’s freedom you protect." 

 "Mr. Knight…" 

 "Iron Man doesn’t ride in cars with sirens, Rogers,” Knight smirked sharply, eyes glinting, “and his team doesn’t wear medals of honour to parade. And yet, he managed to stop a war monger while the law seeks to protect men like Stane.”

 "Who are you?“ Steve asked and pulled out his gun, training it on the man in front of him.

 "The one you’ve been looking for,” the man grinned and in one swoop, came closer to whisper, “And the one you’ll never stop chasing." 

 Steve was about to pull the trigger when the man whistled and Steve realized quite late that he had been lured into the warehouse on purpose. An explosion from behind him, pushed Steve forward and made him lose his balance. The other man moved away but not before Steve’s outstretched hand caught hold of his hip and ripped the shirt when he fell. He tried clutching at the waist of the man but the flashlight had been knocked out and Steve was stumbling into the ground. He heard a gasp though and felt his own hands burn when the man slipped through his fingers. 

 "What…" 

 "Run!” a new voice yelled, before Steve could get up and run behind the source of the sound

“Run!" 

 "Not without you!” strong fingers clutched at the sides of his face and a warm but bloody mouth pressed against his lips ,“Not without you, beloved!" 

 "Please -" 

 "Live or die, we do it together, my heart,” another kiss was pressed into his mouth and he felt the heartbeat of his dearest in that second. 

 "Together,“ he whispered even as they heard the yells of the soldiers geowing louder behind them

Steve heard the sounds of barrels falling and snapped out of the strange flash of a weird haze. 

 "Odinson! We’ve got runners!” he yelled into his comm and scrambled to his feet, feeling shakier than a normal fall should warrant. 

 As he chased out of the warehouse, into an empty lot, Steve felt a mixture of remembered sorrow and regret meld with a present fury and betrayal. His palm tingled as he tried to block out the memory of a bloody kiss and the sight of warm brown eyes. 

 He had failed. Steve didn’t know why he felt like it wasn’t the first time.

Wanna One Kim Jaehwan College AU

For Anon! My ask box is open again :) Enjoy! (You + Kim Jaehwan)

Originally posted by kim-biased

  • It was your freshman year at college, and you were attending one relatively far from your family. You were slightly anxious about starting meeting people and professors from scratch, but you were looking forward to making new friends and learning regardless
  • You arrived on the college campus for orientation completely clueless, but hey that’s okay
  • When you first moved in, you did that thing where you be friendly to pretty much anyone, to try to find some friends/people to hang out with
  • Anyway
  • You were put in a four-year dorm, meaning that freshmen up to seniors were all in the same dorm: this made you somewhat anxious but you thought you’d be fine
  • The day before classes started, your dorm all met up together to do introductions and awkward icebreakers
  • It was the first time you were meeting any upperclassmen, but from the beginning one person stood out
  • This person, whose name you would later find out to be Kim Jaehwan, was undoubtedly the life of the party
  • He was constantly joking around and screaming “OKAY OKAY” every couple of minutes, but nobody was annoyed by him – in fact, the RAs in charge of the dorm seemed to be completely used to his antics
  • He even had this really strange sounding scream-laugh that escaped his mouth at times, but all it did was make other people start giggling along with him: he was contagious and you personally thought it was incredibly charming
  • Needless to say, he was, even if it was unintentional, incredibly well-liked by people older and younger than him
  • And this popularity made him seem… unapproachable, like he was on a pedestal, at least to you
  • Where in reality, he was probably… definitely willing to talk with anyone
  • From that first encounter with the group, you had developed an innocent crush on the guy
  • He was incredibly funny and likable not to mention really attractive
  • Anyway you didn’t share many classes with him, since he was 2 years ahead of you in school, a junior
  • And that was fine, you weren’t looking really to make a relationship out of this, you just thought he was a cute guy lol
  • But during all the dorm activities, you got so distracted because of him
  • There would be game nights and group dinners and movie marathons and you (and your friends, to your dismay) frequently caught you wistfully staring at him or laughing a little too hard at his jokes
  • You thought you were subtle about it, but if someone hung around you at the same time Jaehwan was in the room, it really wasn’t that hard to tell where you mind and heart were lol
  • Despite all this (and pressure from your friends), you never approached him, because like, how?
  • Well before the first semester ended, you actually happened to have one interaction with him
  • You usually didn’t attend any of the dorm parties, because you are extremely physically irritated by loud noises and music, and so far most of the parties had been the “turn up” type, not many of the chiller hangouts, so you pretty much stayed in your room doing quiet things with your friends like games or internet browsing
  • But at the end of the semester, there was this one winter holidays party that “everyone” attended, as your friends and dorm-mates told you, so you decided why not, to just check it out for a bit
  • You didn’t think you would be there for too long, so you didn’t dress up too much: you wore red sweatpants and a green shirt to embody the “holiday spirit”
  • When you got to the party, you realized why people said it was much more extravagant than the other ones
  • This one seemed to have a much larger budget, and there were beautiful decorations everywhere, with balloons and Christmas trees and pretty holiday lights
  • And to your pleasant surprise, the music wasn’t super loud or anything, in fact it was just the regular old holiday music lol
  • Everyone was dressed up way more than you were, but you felt comfortable, much more than you thought you would when you first heard about the idea
  • Trying new things isn’t so bad, (Y/N), you instructed yourself, content with the experience so far (even though you hadn’t talked to anyone yet lol)
  • You didn’t know how to dance to Christmas songs, so you headed to kitchen to grab some good food yuss
  • Surprisingly, the kitchen was completely empty when you entered: the perfect time to steal all foods ! ! ! !
  • Unable to hold back the evil smile that was starting to cover your face, you stacked snacks on your plate, growing happier and happier as your plate filled up to the edges
  • You were so glad you had come to the party LOL
  • Satisfied with your collection, you headed over to the drinks, where there was various bowls of questionable substances
  • What are these even… there wasn’t a label or anything
  • As you scratched your neck and bended down to smell the liquids, you didn’t notice another person entering the room
  • Yes you guessed it
  • It was the one and only Kim Jaehwan, and you failed to notice his eyes boring into the top of your head, as he stood on the opposite side of the food counter
  • Multiple things about this first meeting:
  • 1. Jaehwan already knew who you were. lol. and he also knew about your crush. also lol. word spreads pretty quickly through the dorm, and you were unaware of that! congrats !
  • 2. There are two people now in this room: you and him,,, and you have your nose hovering above a bowl of punch or something
  • GREAT FUCKN JOB (Y/N) TRULY INNOVATIVE
  • Anyway yes you were smelling the punch because you didn’t want to consume any sketchy alcohol at this party (you hadn’t drank before anyway, and you didn’t want the conditions of your first time to be mystery fluid)
  • “Is this alcoholic…” you mumbled to yourself, before your eyes flicked up to meet Jaehwan’s, making you gasp and stand up straight in surprise, almost tripping over your own feet, making Jaehwan laugh at your reaction
  • Nice one, real nice, (Y/N)…
  • He looked too good for words, his brown hair looking messy but perfect at the same time, in his own pair of sweats and a long t-shirt, with an adorable reindeer antler headband on his head
  • “I’m pretty sure the red one has alcohol, and the peach one just has some sodas, punch, and ice cream.”
  • They were the first words he had spoken to you, and you wished you were capable of acting completely normally but you were too much of a spAZ to do that
  • “Oh, okay, thank you, I-I’ll get the red one then,” you sputtered out
  • “You want the alcoholic one? Oh, I thought you were under the impression you didn’t, with the way you were sniffing those bowls, haha”
  • “Oh, no I meant the non alcoholic one, gah” you corrected, mentally kicking yourself for literally saying gah like out loud
  • “Nah you’re good, these parties are pretty confusing at first, I totally get it. I came for the food too,” Jaehwan said with his gorgeous laugh
  • “Oh, you did? Come for just the food, you mean?”
  • “I mean, look at me,” Jaehwan said, pointing to his outfit. “This is my sleep outfit, and I have fully planned to fall into a food coma today.”
  • You couldn’t stop your blush from rising to your cheeks in reaction to his joke, before you asked without thinking, “you sleep with those antlers on?”
  • Jaehwan seemed slightly caught off guard for a split second, before he smoothly responded, gasping and clutching his chest
  • “(Y/N), I am so offended, the antlers aren’t a costume, its a serious physical defect, I can’t believe you don’t have the sense to not talk about that to me,” he cried out
  • You couldn’t keep up the joke and started giggling, before you realized… did he just say my name? How does he know my name…
  • But guess what? Your thoughts had unknowingly slipped out of your mind, and he heard you ask him that, out loud, you only realizing you had done that when you looked up to see Jaehwan staring at him, his cheeks turning a shade of red that matched your pants
  • “Ah, of course I know the name of my fellow dorm-mate, we’ve been living in the same place for the past couple months,” he saved, looking less confident than you had ever seen him
  • Just then, another freshman from your dorm walked in, and with some confidence you had unknowingly conjured up, you challenged Jaehwan out of nowhere
  • “Okay, so what’s their name?” you asked, as Jaehwan coughed randomly into the air, claiming that your game was completely unfair to him
  • “I bet this person isn’t even from our dorm and just snuck in here, please,” he replied with some fake arrogance
  • “Fine, then do the next person that enters,” you said, enjoying his misery
  • And the two of you just stood there in the kitchen, leaning on the countertop, staring at everyone who came in, for the next 30 minutes, stuffing food into your mouths
  • Turns out, Jaehwan barely knew any of the freshmen or sophomores in the dorm, leading to a lot of laughter from the both of you as he made up random names on the spot
  • After some time of this, when the kitchen emptied out again, you let the question that had been lingering on your subconscious slip out
  • “So why did you only know my name?” you laughed, before stopping instantly, realizing what you had said
  • And you were met with… silence
  • Your nervously looked up at Jaehwan, and saw him staring at his feet, which were bending over on the ground uncomfortably, a drastic change from his usual psycho demeanor
  • “Uh, well, I sorta heard thatyoulikeme…” he quickly said, the volume of his voice trailing off
  • And just like that, you could have sworn you heard your heart drop
  • Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing, your cheeks pinking for a different reason than they had been the rest of this evening
  • “Oh,” was all you managed to get out, standing up straight, subconsciously starting to move away from him, your head turning to face a different direction
  • “Wait, no, (Y/N), I’m not talking to you just because of that,” Jaehwan said, placing a soft hand on your shoulder, holding you back, making you hesitantly look back at him
  • “I mean,” he said, starting to awkwardly laugh, “a lot of people knew about it, although I didn’t realize how much you enjoyed looking at me until one of my friends told me,”
  • “Ugh I get it, I’m totally obvious, I have a huge crush on you, big deal,” you replied, disheartened, moving Jaehwan’s hand on your shoulder with one of your own, but he took advantage of the contact and took your hand
  • “Wait, no, I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m explaining this properly, I heard you liked me and I didn’t know who you were, but I found out soon after that, and I sorta noticed you were really cute and you always laughed at my jokes and seem really nice and I want to get to know you better because I kinda like you too,” he hurriedly confessed
  • You were totally overwhelmed at the past minute of new information, staring blankly at Jaehwan, as he looked back at you, waiting for a response
  • “Uh, what?”
  • Jaehwan smirked at you, making your heartbeat rise; seeing you get all flustered at his words made him incredibly satisfied
  • “So do you want to get to know each other better?” he asked, poking your nose
  • You finally let a smile break free onto your face, nodding enthusiastically
  • “What? I can’t hear you,” Jaehwan teased
  • “Okey okey!” you exclaimed, making Jaehwan lose his cockiness and pull you into a hug
  • “OKEY OKEY!” he screamed, and you kicked him in response, your physical reaction being completely different from your rapidly beating heart but who cares hahhahahaha
  • You two just chatted and ate for the rest of the party, sometimes going out to stare at the people dancing, the both of you proclaiming that you weren’t “dancing people” (Jaehwan demonstrated some of his… questionable dancing moves to demonstrate his point)
  • Anyway when your friends heard this news, they were all relieved, claiming that they thought it would never happen (GEE THANKS)
  • (Jaehwan’s friends were equally happy, having been annoyed for the past couple months of him staring at you and asking them if you had laughed at his attempts to be funny)
  • You two still didn’t share many classes, but met a lot in the dorm, and activities were actually able to be enjoyed by you after this because not all your attention was on him!!! Wowza!
  • For example,,, movie nights turned from staring at each other from across the room to cuddling under a blanket AHHH
  • (well that might not be the best example… as his presence next to you was tbh still pretty incredible for a little bit haH)
  • You two raided parties solely for the food, becoming infamous for creepily staring at people while the both of you munched on snacks
  • As you loosened up around him and became more comfortable with your dorm group as a whole, you actually found that you had a psycho laugh as well (some people said yours sounded like a hyena mixed with a squeaky door)
  • Who needs a power couple when you can have a psycho couple
  • y’all are weirdos but somehow it’s still adorable

Masterlist


Requests are open! Thank y’all for waiting ❤️