not the alcohol don!

I think one of the reasons why people freak out if you say you hate someone, especially a family member, is because they assume that means you wish them harm. And they’re wrong.

Because I hate my father. He woke up drunk this morning and it was so hard to even look at him. Every second he’s drunk, or drinking, or sneaking out to buy more alcohol is another second I hate him.

But I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. I still love him. Maybe not him now but I love the good times that did exist. And when he’s so drunk he chokes, I’m terrified. I have the emergency number dialed and all I have to do is push call to get an ambulance. I sit outside the bathroom when he takes a bath drunk so I can hear him breathe and know he isn’t drowning.

I hate him. More than I ever thought I could hate someone. But I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. Because there is a difference between hating someone and wishing them ill.

More people need to understand that.

Blogger Headcanons #1

For @doingthingswithabby:

(Don’t be mad! I’m just guessing, so this might not sound anything like you. ^^)

  • Considering that you write scenarios for Hetalia, I have a feeling that you like reading? Also, you like to write (no kidding).
  • You don’t like anything that is bitter and/or strong, like alcohol.
  • You don’t trust people who look cute, “innocent”, and/or harmless (hence why you’re terrified of FlaviNo (Not that I am saying he is any way innocent or cute, but definitely seems more harmless than LuciaNope)
  • Memes and sh*t posts
  • I imagine you having a crazy and wacky side, but I also think you can be mature and composed.
  • Mom friend. Or at least the supportive and caring friend (what’s the difference???)
  • Romantic.
  • For some reason, I imagine you being the PDA sort of person. (Wait. Is it called PDA? Public Display of Affection)

Anyway, that’s my headcanons. They’reprobablynothinglikeyou, but here you go!

hobbitsetal  asked:

if Thorne thought his 20s was high time to get over birthdays, do you honestly think Cress would agree with him? because i think that chick would LOVE birthdays and parties and cakes and tiers of cupcakes way too much to let him be like that. which is to say, forget Don Draper, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, SUNSHINE!!


  • Carswell Thorne would care about birthdays even if he were 120.
  • He’s definitely one of those people who answers questions like, “How are you?” with “It’s my birthday!”
    • He has absolutely zero shame.
    • He even goes so far as to drop “subtle” hints about it months in advanced.
      • “No problem, Cinder. We’ll see you next month. Yep. Three days before my birthday.”
      • “When are we visiting the farm? Six days after my birthday?”
      • “Yes, Cress. You should buy that dress and wear it on my birthday.”
  • He also makes very detailed lists of the gifts he expects to get. If people deviate from the list, they shouldn’t be surprised to hear he has returned it for store credit.
    • Carswell Thorne has a lot of store credit.
  • But as much as he loves his own birthday, he’s just really good with birthdays in general. 
    • He always stays up to comm you at exactly 12:00am.
      • And he dresses up for the occasion. 
    • He sends teddy-grams and barber shop quartets to sing to you.
    • He pays extra to make sure your cookie delivery arrives warm. 
    • And if you’re lucky enough to be with him on your birthday, he goes above and beyond to make sure everyone knows it’s your birthday too!
      • This always results in an embarrassed Rampion crew member laden with balloons and extra breadsticks at whatever restaurant you end up at to celebrate. 

In short, some people are really good at birthdays and some people only get a birthday text from their mom. I am not the former. But thank you all the same!

“I am protected from alcohol, its effects, and from the ones who consume it.”

My first sigil, quite proud of it. My school is hosting an event, and people are gonna get drunk, like … A lot. And as I don’t drink alcohol myself, I thought about putting this on my door, to keep people from banging at it while too drunk to understand what they are doing.

“For me, dating is a means to an end. The point is to find someone who you fit with and you want to be with a lot. But dating is too often just meeting people who are not really a good fit. I have friends who think this is a lot of fun, but for me, it’s exhausting.
I don’t drink alcohol, and I never thought that had a huge impact on my social life. I’ve only realized recently that it probably has. I had a conversation with a long-time friend who said, ‘I can’t imagine dating or having sex with somebody for the first time without having any’—he called alcohol a ‘social lubricant.’
Or sometimes I would read or see on reality shows people say that they would never date someone who doesn’t drink. It’s things like this that make me realize that it’s a big thing for other people who are just not comfortable around someone who doesn’t drink. I wonder how much of an impact that’s had on my dating life. Maybe if I did drink, I would have a very different romantic life.
I’ve been single longer than almost anyone I know. People assume that I have something against marriage or I’m adamantly not traditional. I would’ve gotten married if I’d found someone who was a good fit for me—but I haven’t yet.
If you are not married, you feel that you are in this limbo. Because of the economy, you cannot get a condo or own a house if you are not with a partner. You just can’t afford it. So it’s hard to envision a future because if you meet someone you want to live with, then things would be different. I don’t know if I would’ve had kids, but maybe I would have.
So in my 30s, there was a lot of this in the back of my mind: ‘If I meet someone who I want to be with, this will change everything.’
Whereas at this point, it feels more settled. I’m probably going to live alone and be generally alone. I’m okay with that. I actually feel better about that than I did in that sort of limbo throughout my 30s when I thought, 'Okay, I’m dating people, but am I going to get married? It doesn’t look like it.’ Limbo is a weird place to be. Now I like this. I’m good at being alone.”

Cambridge, MA

Back by unpopular demand - this silly drawing from this post!

#55: Shut Up and Kiss Me Already // Alex Standall

Request: 55 and 59 with Alex

Requested by: @a-spark-in-the-dark-yeah

Pairing: AlexxReader

Alex and I were at a party at Jessica’s house. The two of us were looking for something to do tonight and were at a loss until Jessica texted me saying her parents were gone for the weekend and she’s having a few people over. Pretty soon “a few people” turned into half of the class.

We were in the kitchen looking for something to drink that wasn’t alcoholic. Personally I don’t like the taste of alcohol so I steered clear of it. At times I wish I could join in on the fad and get sloppy drunk just to do it but I couldn’t bring myself to drink more than a sip or two. I grabbed a water while Alex grabbed a beer and headed to the living room where our friends were seated.

At first everyone was busy with their own individual conversations talking about school, who’s hooking up with who, what they were going to drink next, or arguing about who the designated driver was.

I turn to Alex who was half way done with his beer and that’s when it hit me how gorgeous he was. His blonde hair was slightly messy and his septum ring complimented him nicely. His bright blue eyes were looking around the room until they landed on me and I smiled.

“What?” he laughed and I shook my head.

“You’re just cute.” I wink at him and he blushes.

“Let’s play spin the bottle!” Jessica suggests and everyone cheers.

“Great! I didn’t know we were in the sixth grade!” Alex mocked and I laughed. I was always the only one laughing at his sarcastic remarks. I don’t know why I just loved them.

“Oh come on, grouchy.” I teased and sat on the floor as Justin and Zach moved the coffee table to the side.

“Okay. There is only one rule: you must kiss whoever it lands on, boy or girl.” Jessica raised her eyebrows as she explained and I could see a few boys with nervous looks on their faces.

“I’ll go first.” She offered and spun the bottle.

“Y/N.” she said as the bottle landed on me and I nervously chuckled.

“C’mon, it’s just a kiss. We aren’t scissoring.” she rolled her eyes and a few hollers were made at her comment and she glared at the boys. I sigh and get on my knees, leaning into her and giving her a small peck on her lips. Cheers were heard around us and I scoffed.

“Okay calm down.” I laugh and sit back down next to Alex who was shuffling awkwardly. We went around the circle with more kisses exchanged and then it was Alex’s turn to spin.

“This is dumb. You can skip me.” he grunted.

“Suit yourself.” I said as I grabbed the bottle and took my turn. Honestly I had no idea why I was playing seeing as I didn’t really want to kiss anyone. Well maybe one person comes to mind. And to my luck the bottle lands on him.

I look at Alex and his eyes widen.

“Are you sure?” he chuckles nervously.

“It’s just a game, Alex. Don’t stress out too much.” I reassure him and he wipes his palms on his jeans.

“I mean we don’t have to if you don’t want to. We’re friends this could be weird.” he rambles.

“Just kiss her.” Justin exclaimed impatiently and we looked at each other.

“Okay, but what if-” he starts and I cut him off, “Shut up and kiss me already.” I say exasperated and his lips crash onto mine. The kiss was brief but sweet and my body felt warm and fuzzy afterwards. I could taste the beer he was drinking on his lips. We pull away as the person next to me spins the bottle.

One thing was for sure, I don’t think I hate the taste of alcohol as much anymore.

“I’m not drunk, you are” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : Reader never drinks alcohol, so obviously, the day she decides to taste some champagne, she’s quickly…Rather drunk. Bruce and his sons are fortunately there to take care of her…and to film her embarrassing moments.

I thought I’d write something a bit more lighthearted after I made some of you “cry” with this ;-). 


You never drink alcohol. Never. You just don’t like the taste of most of the beverages. Champagne or wine, tequila or vodka, even just a light cider…No thank you. 

When you go out with Bruce, you usually drink a soda or soft drink, even just water sometimes. 

But tonight, at yet another charity ball, your mind was elsewhere.

You had done it again. It often happened, and you always regretted it. Always. But you just couldn’t help it. Sometimes, you just had to be a sarcastic little shit full of witty answers. It always got you in trouble, since your early days in school, to now, in an important and very public event.   

This time, you had been a sarcastic little shit full of witty answers to the Mayor himself. The man already had a problem with your family ever since Bruce decided to support Harvey Dent to become the new mayor of Gotham, and was probably one of the most corrupted people in the World…so, needless to say that, when he left you company, clearly upset, you knew your actions would have repercussions, consequences, and it stressed the hell out of you. Why couldn’t you just control that damn mouth of yours ? 

Bruce wrapped a reassuring arms around your waist, bend down to your ears and whispered into it : 

-Relax (Y/N), no matter what, I’ll handle it. As Bruce Wayne or as…the other one. 

You gave him a weak smile and shook your head. 

-I’m so sorry Bruce…I really try to control myself, but when people like that man complain about not having a fourth plasma screen, or shit like that, while the city is drowning in poverty, I just can’t help myself. More than usual. 

-I know. I don’t blame you. At all. I already told you dear, your big mouth is one of the thing I love the most in you. I always know that you’re honest with me, which is rare, and you don’t hesitate to tell me when I go too far or something…I really love your big mouth. 

He paused as you squeezed his hand lovingly, and added in a very low whisper : 

-I also like it when you use it for…other performances. 

And with a wink, he made you blush like crazy. You hit him without much force in the ribs, and he chuckled, taking a sip of his little glass of bourbon. 

You really appreciated his effort to make you feel better…but Mayor Hady was a dangerous man, and you couldn’t help but think that telling him that he was proof evolution could go in reverse was definitely not your best idea…Oh my god and you said so much worst. You made people around you laugh. He was humiliated…You started sweating a bit, and got stressed again, not being able to bear the thought that you might have put your family in danger. 

Bruce was really not worried, he kept all of the mayor’s actions monitored, and  discovered that Sebastian Hady wasn’t actually as dangerous as he loved to pretend. You didn’t know however, and in this moment, Bruce didn’t really think about reassuring you on that, because really, for him, all of this story wasn’t much of a big deal at all. 

Your husband got called by a bunch of old men that he knew, and you had absolutely no intention of joining in in the conversion, so you went to your sons, and ranted a bit about your latest mistake. They all laughed, loving your antics…

And that’s the story of how you ended up with a glass of champagne in your hand. Jason said it’d loosen you up some, and you definitely needed to get rid of some stress…So you drunk. 

Jay was right, the first glass did loosen you up. 

The second one helped even more. 

At the third one, Dick warned you not to drink more, as since you never drink alcohol, it could have quite an effect on you. 

He didn’t see you drink the fourth and fifth glass, as you got separated to talk to different acquaintances. 

When you felt Bruce’s arm go around your waist, you just slumped on him and he looked down on you, worried you might have fainted or something. 

You were drinking your seventh glass. 

You were also drunk as fuck. 

-Are you Ok ? 

Your husband ask in your ear, bending down to reach it as he was quite taller than you. Your looked at him with a serious expression, and said :  

-No Bruce, I’m not OK. 

-What is it dear ? 

You squinted at him, and pointed a finger to his face. 

-You damn well know it mister. 

-Please, enlighten me…

-You didn’t tell me. 

-…What didn’t I tell you ? 

Silence. You look at him with the expression of a child that is annoyed, and you push him a bit away from you, gesturing around you (working really hard on keeping your balance). 

-You didn’t tell me that it was a costume ball ! 

Bruce just stares at you as if you’re crazy, and quickly understand that you drank too much. He glares at Dick and Jason who are laughing in a corner while looking at you yelling, and they immediately stop. 

-Do you think I didn’t tell you it was a costume ball because…it isn’t one ? 

-Nonsense my beloved Bruce, look at those people, look what they’re wearing, it’s too…too…bourgeois to be their real clothes. It look more like a…masquerade kind of ball you know. I mean, look at her over there, she’s wearing something out of the Renaissance, for real. And look at that guy’s tuxedo, it looks like it’s made out of Gold…Wait, is it actually gold ? 

Before you could walk up to the man to ask him what his clothes were made of, Bruce dragged you away with him to a nearby corridor, out of sight and out of ears. You kept commenting the “awful choice of wardrobe” of the people present, and some heard you and got totally offended. Though, they knew who you were. You had a reputation to be too brutally honest sometimes…

-What are you doing Bruce ? …Are you ashamed of me because I’m not wearing an extra fancy dress that looks like it use to belong to Marie-Antoinette or some shit ? 

He couldn’t help but chuckle, as your sons joined you. Damian looked worried, but when you winked at him he let out a sigh of relief and awkwardly winked back. You smiled, and let out a loud burp. Ew. So much for a cute mother/son moment… 

-I’ll never be ashamed of you my love, but you are very drunk, I wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself. 

-Tuh, baby, I can embarrass myself sober…Besides, I’m not drunk. I never drink. 

More chuckles from your sons. Tim took his phone out and started to record you making faces at the camera. He was so going to make an edit of that to show you later, and use as leverage when he’d want something and you’d say “no”. 

-Ok, I know that in general you’re very self-aware of what you are, and all of that. But from what the kids have been telling me, you drunk about seven glasses of champagne, and since it’s the first time you actually drink…

-Bruce, babe, if I was drunk, I’d know right ? I’m not…Holly shit honey, I didn’t notice before but, you look dapper ! Every men in this room should take example on you, nothing can go wrong when you wear a tuxedo. Well, except for Oswald Cobblywhateverhislastnameis. That man looks like a…penguin or something, with a tuxedo on. 

It was getting very hard for your boys and husband not to laugh, and when you started to breakdance to Beethoven, they totally lost it. People were starting to stare at the famous Waynes, all standing in the corridor, laughing their asses off while one of them was dancing to classical music…Minded, your dance move were on point. Especially since you wore high heels. Great balance. 

Bruce stood in front of you, his large frame shielding you from people’s view. 

-(Y/N), let’s go home, you’re drunk.

You stopped dancing, and turned to him with vivacity. You melted a bit when you saw his amused expression, it was so rare to see it on his face…But then, you remembered that he was totally wrong, and went to grab your handbag. 

-If I was drunk, could I make paper cranes ? Look. 

You took Bruce’s wallet out of your purse (how cute, you were keeping it for him), and got a hundred dollars bill out of it, quickly starting to work on your origami, sticking your tongue out as you were deeply focus. 

Tim wasn’t missing any action with the camera of his phone, and your other sons, even Damian, were almost suffocating because they laughed so much. Bruce just stared at you making a paper crane, a bit confused. He turned around too see that everyone was now staring at all of you, and some were even getting their phones out. He decided it was time to go. 

-Dick, go get the car please…Oh for god sake stop laughing like an idiot and get a move on ! We’re leaving, we gave them money, we won’t be missed. Come on, on we go. 

Still laughing loudly, your sons took the corridor to slowly exit the building. You were still making your paper crane when you felt your feet leaving the floor. 

-What are you doing Bruce ? 

-Carrying you back to the car. 

-But…Why ? 

-Because you’re drunk. 

-Look how flawless my origami is my sweet Bruce, do you think someone drunk could have done such a perfect paper sculpture ? 

-You don’t know how to make origamis when you’re sober baby…

You shrugged your shoulder, rolling your eyes as you mouthed the word “nonsense”, and tried to get out of his arms. He let you get back on the floor, but as you took a step, two…you lost balance and fell back in his arms. 

-Oh Bruce, the World is spinning…I think I might be a little sick, I feel somewhat dizzy and all…

He just smiled, and this time, when he took you up into his arms, you didn’t resist. 


You fell asleep in the car, and Bruce carried you in the mansion with his strong arms. As soon as they entered the place, your sons ran to Alfred to show him the videos Tim took, and to tell him everything…Needless to say, that night was filled with laughter and plans to embarrass you later on. 

Bruce didn’t take part in the conversation, as he took you up to your shared bedroom. He laid you down on your bed, and took his clothes off, putting on some comfy sweat pants, leaving his chest bare, and moved back to you. With delicate hands, he took your dress off and…you kicked him in the face. He fell back as you sat up in the bed. 

-How dare you, you filthy animal ! I’m not an easy woman ! You can’t just take me home and take advantage of me ! 

A bit stunned, Bruce stayed where he was, sitting on the floor, and just stared at you as you were ranting. You talked like this for quite some times, and your sentences were making less and less sense, when you finally stopped to look at Bruce, still on the floor, not really knowing what to do. 

-…What are you doing down there hun ? 

-You pushed me…

-No I didn’t. 

-Yes, you did. 

-I did ? 

-Yup. I hurt my elbow. 

He was trying to guilt trip your drunk self, and it worked. 

-I’m so sorry honey, oh my god what woooops…

You tried to stand up to reach him, but you also fell, and ended up falling on him, your dress slipping down around your knees. Bruce caught you as best he could, and you both just laughed. How sweet it was to just laugh. Moments like this were so rare…And even though you were drunk, it was still enjoyable, and you’d remember it for a long time. 

-Oh my love, what am I going to do with you ? 

-Show me your amazing prowesses in bed ? 

He laughed. He gave up any prospect of sex as soon as he saw you stumbling around the charity ball, as he knew that you’d probably get too drunk…But your passionate kiss ignited a fire in his lower stomach, and he responded fiercely. 

Turned out though, he was right to not expect anything, as mid-kiss, your tongue stopped massaging his, and your hand stopped touching his body…You had fallen back into a deep slumber that you wouldn’t come out off until the next morning. 


The next day, pictures of your husband carrying you to the car with the headline : “Bruce Wayne is a perfect gentleman…even when his wife is embarrassingly drunk” were on every newspapers. 

But you couldn’t care less as the biggest (and first) hungover you ever had was taking away all of your energy. It wasn’t all bad though, as the entire day, your boys and husband took amazing care of you. 

When you finally started to get better, right before their night patrol, Bruce showed you his “amazing prowesses in bed”, and enjoyed a quiet moment cuddling with you before leaving. Whenever he thought he couldn’t love you more, something came up, like you getting totally drunk and being hilarious, and he realized that he could totally fall for you even more deeply. 

You were too damn awesome. Even when “embarrassingly drunk”.