not that rodrigo lopez

5

West Side Story Revisited: images by Mark Seliger; featuring Camilla Belle as Maria, Ben Barnes as Tony, Chris Evans as Riff, Jennifer Lopez as Anita, and Rodrigo Santoro as Bernardo. Others include Robert Pattinson, Ashley Tisdale, Jay Hernandez, Brittany Snow, Brandon T Jackson, Minka Kelly, and Drake Bell

thesexacademy  asked:

How does Harry Potter end? Does one of the wizards win or like, is a griffin the victor or something? I also heard there were ugly triplets. No spoilers, please.

Ok, from talking to young-zach we’ve pieced together that I have probably seen the 1st 2 movies, one other movie somewhere in the middle and either 7 or 8. I have not read any of the books and it has been a long time since I watched those, so with that in mind…

Here is what I think happens in harry potter:

  • There’s a baby named Harry Potter but a bad guy wants to kill him, but the baby has special powers so instead of killing him, the baby takes part of the bad guy’s soul. The bad guy is named Voldemort but if you say his name he will appear in front of you, Bloody Mary style.
  • The kid grows up and goes to wizard school and he has four friends, Ron, Hermione, Draco and a dog we later find out is actually a dude.
  • Wizard school is run by a guy named Dumbledorf who is like a modern gandalf-looking guy. He is also gay so the ministry of magic keeps trying to kick him out.
  • Harry Potter joins the broomhockey team his first year, he wins a big game and Draco gets mad at him.
  • Harry and his friends go nosing around the school and they discover a chamber of secrets, there they realize that young voldemort can travel through time, but old voldemort can’t. Young voldemort almost kills Harry but Hermione saves him.
  • Harry potter needs to rescue a guy from Azkaban prison. The guy is named Haggerd, he got put in prison because he had a pet he shouldn’t have. I think maybe it was a werewolf.
  • A bunch of bad guys join up with Voldemort.
  • The bad guys turn Ron into a gnome-looking guy, and his friends start calling him “Dobby” which I think is British slang for “sloppy”. Later on Dobby dies, but that transforms Ron back into himself. Hermione realizes she loves Ron and they get married.
  • Evil guys crash Ron and Hermione’s wedding, Draco saves them by throwing a magic cup that explodes into a thousand identical cups.
  • The bad guys kill Dumbledorf and Harry Potter needs to go back to the chamber of secrets to know what to do. He realizes that he needs “The order of the phoenix” a secret code to get a cool sword to appear.
  • Harry potter realizes that his dog is Gary Oldman and is weirded out because he confessed a lot of awkward teenage boy stuff to him.
  • Harry and his friends go on a field trip to try to find chunks of the bad guy’s soul, because they need them to be able to kill him.
  • Meanwhile a bunch of side characters have gotten together to figure out the order of the phoenix. Finally a nerd named Neville and a ghost girl figure it out, but it’s too late because the bad guys are now attacking the wizard school.
  • Harry, Draco, Ron, Hermione and the Dog return to the school just in time to join the fray, Harry is mortally wounded and he realizes that he still has a chunk of the bad guy’s soul inside him. He consumes it to bring himself back to life so he can keep fighting. This has the side effect of giving him snake powers.
  • This weakens the bad guy.
  • Neville cracks the code to the order of the phoenix and the phoenix sword appears. He stabs the bad guy with it and he turns back into a kid named Tommy.
  • The four friends and the dog are given a heroes’ welcome, Neville becomes class president and finally manages to ask a hippie girl out.
  • Then we jump a bunch of years in the future, Harry now has a kid named Tommy Dumbledorf Potter who he named after the bad guy and his mentor.
  • Ron and Hermione also have a kid but they name him something normal like “George”.
  • Draco is not there, because him and the dog are off having their own adventures now.

Pretty sure that’s accurate…