not that kind of bake

Colour Asks

Crimson - What was an event that’s shaped you to be who you are today?
Light Pink - Do you have stuffed animals?
Blush - Are you single?
Amaranth - What’s your favourite emotion?
Cherry Blossom - How are you feeling right now?
Hollywood Cerise - What are your ambitions?
Razzmatazz - Favourite TV Show?
Rose - Where do you feel most comfortable?
French Rose - What is your favourite flavour?
Cameo Pink - Favourite movie?

Buff Orange - Would you consider yourself athletic?
Burnt Sienna - Favourite smell?
Melon - Do you like to dance?
Carrot - Do you bake?
Copper - What is your favourite kind of day?
Orangeade - When do you feel alive?
Gamboge - Where do you want to travel?
Peach - Favourite texture/s?
Vermillion - How brave are you?
Bittersweet Shimmer - What is your favourite memory?

Flax - Do you like going to the beach?
Wheat - Who can you trust the most?
Laser Lemon - What kind of phone do you have?
Gold - Are you high maintenance?
Mellow Yellow - How calm are you?
Unmellow Yellow - How high energy are you?
Papaya Whip - How honest are you?
Transparent Yellow - Would you consider yourself to be special?
Canary - Favourite song?
Reed Yellow - Do you play an instrument?

Pear - Where do you feel rested?
Olive - What is your favourite food?
Fern - Favourite plant?
Moss - Are you quiet or loud?
Tea green - How do you relax?
Celadon - Dream job?
Harlequin - Can you act?
Malachite - Do you speak more than one language?
Mantis - Favourite animal?
Seafoam Green - Do you like water?

Sky Blue - Would you ever want to fly?
Periwinkle - Would you want to breathe underwater?
Powder Blue - Or control the weather?
Liberty - Become the president/prime minister?
Space Cadet - Become an astronaut?
Celeste - Have perfect pitch?
Eton Blue - Become invisible?
Indigo - Become immortal?
Iris - Grow plants at will?
Whispering Blue - Or teleport?

Lilac - Would you want kids?
Lavender - What is your favourite time of day?
Mulberry - Could you betray someone?
Eminence - Favourite sounds?
Palatinate - Do you think you’ll make it to 100 years old?
Prune - Do you ever think about dying?
Fandango - Do you spontaneously start singing sometimes?
Thistle - If you could become wise, rich, or intelligent, which would you rather?
Mauve - What would you name your kids/pets?
Royal Purple - What’s your favourite emotion?

Cream - If you had 1 day left to live, what would you do?
Silver - Are you a good person?
Ecru - How do you feel about the world today?
Auburn - Favourite colour?
White - Do you own lots of makeup?
Black - What is the greatest success of your life so far?
Bronze - Would you follow my blog?
Pink Nectar - What’s your aesthetic?
Sepia - Do you like photography?

Little Hades&Persephone comic (inspired by a quote from “A Stroke of Midnight”, by Laurell K. Hamilton).

I guess Persephone is the kind of girl who will offer you tea and bake cookies for you and be literally the sweetest person ever, but will fucking rip your heart off your chest if you wrong her or her beloved ones.

Tag yourself as music keys (as told by the Signature Series CBC)
  • C major: Childlike, carefree, unselfconscious
  • C minor: Misunderstood genius, misanthrope, caught in a heroic struggle
  • D-flat major: Has a dreamy smile, makes jewelry, innocent
  • C-sharp minor: Mysterious, secretive, doesn't open up to others
  • D major: Overachiever, cheerful, enthusiastic
  • D minor: Angry at the world, betrayed by friends, alone
  • E-flat major: Respected by others, popular, a great leader
  • E-flat minor: Quirky, strange, not very well known
  • E major: Delightful, charming, a morning person
  • E minor: Proud, likes drama, needy
  • F major: Calm, in control of things, secretly has an iron will beneath that sweet smile
  • F minor: Not to be messed with, tough, never gives up
  • F-sharp major: Friendly, gives hugs, has lovely plants
  • F-sharp minor: Shy, stays home a lot, scared of other people
  • G major: Playful, naive, a great sport
  • G minor: Stubborn, gets into arguments, smart
  • A-flat major: Kind, always pays for dinner, bakes cookies for friends
  • G-sharp minor: Weary, moves gracefully, 100% done with society
  • A major: Can't keep still, impatient, capricious
  • A minor: Has unfulfilled dreams, cannot let go of the past, mournful
  • B-flat major: Nerd, nature enthusiast, loves to gaze at the stars
  • B-flat minor: Doesn't show feelings, gets uncomfortable at the mention of feelings, actually has feelings
  • B major: Loves weekends, sleeps in, operates on a different internal clock
  • B minor: Gloomy, likes art and wine, hides under a blanket

This has been weighing on me a while and I KNOW most people would have no reason to know this and it really doesn’t matter in the long run!!! 


okay if you happen to write a Check Please fic from this day forward please know that you cannot eat a pie right out of the oven. You just can’t. Literally you cAN’T. 

I don’t mean “oh it’ll be a little hot” or “oh it won’t taste as good” like literally you’d cut into a fruit pie and it would fall the fuck apart and then it would burn the roof of your mouth OFF. You’d have to go to the HOSPITAL. IT IS BOILING SUGAR SYRUP.

Fruit pie needs like three hours, two MINIMUM. Custard won’t set right unless it cools entirely which takes even longer. And also, yes! it won’t taste as good. I’ve found that pecan pie especially loses something if you lose patience and eat it warm. The only pie you could eat right out of the oven is a par-baked shell filled with some kind of no-bake pudding and I feel like most days Bitty’s standards are higher than that.

(I realize this is a comic where, in the first chapter, Bitty baked and presented an entire pie in five minutes using nothing but sriracha but I CANNOT ACCEPT THAT. MY SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF ONLY GOES SO FAR YOU GUYS)

“Your wife is hot” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Here’s for you :), and I thank you very much ^^

Part two

(My masterlist blog here :


The league discovered that Batman made files on all of them. Files in which were their secret identities, the way they could be defeated, and a all lot of personal details. And so they were…pretty mad at him. They felt like he betrayed their trust, while all he wanted to do was to make sure the World was safe. So the bat had to amend himself. He told all of them he was Bruce Wayne. And that’s the story of how a bunch of superheroes invaded your home. 

They first went to see the Batcave, which left you enough time to try and relax. It wasn’t everyday that you met the biggest superheroes of the World. You already encountered Superman, who was in real life Clark Kent, your husband’s best friend. You also were friend with Wonder Woman, having actually quite a lot in common with Diana Price. And your eldest son was friend with The Flash sidekick, Kid Flash, even though you never actually met Barry Allen, you felt like Wally told you enough things about him that you knew you’d probably get along. But the rest…Well, you were just super stressed. 

Of course, you knew all of them, extensively actually. You knew what they liked and didn’t like, their personality…Hum, you might have, MIGHT, read Bruce’s files on them. Curiosity. It was your biggest flaw. 

Keep reading

french baking vocabulary

faire [du pain] - bake [bread]

faire fondre - to melt

refroidir - to cool down

fouetter - to wisp

mélanger - to mix

le moule - the baking mold/tin 

mettre à cuire - bake (in the oven)

le sucre - sugar

la farine - the flour

sucre en poudre - powdered sugar 

le beurre - the butter

les oeufs (l’oeuf) - the eggs

le lait - the milk

le chocolat - the chocolate

la vanille - the vanilla

le gâteau - the cake

le macaron - the macaron

le croissant - the croissant

le gâteau au chocolat - the chocolate cake

la mousse au chocolat - the chocolate mousse  

[changeable] ! please correct me if i’m wrong !

my dream is to become that old lady that always have fresh baked bread when people come over and is known to bake the best kinds of bread :) 

Forty (40) questions you're free to ask!

1 How old are you?
2 What’s your eye color?
3 Which country do you come from?
4 Favourite season?
5 Do you paint your nails? (what color?)
6 What’s your favourite eye shadow (color?)
7 Which (brand) kind of shoes do you usually wear?
8 Carpe Diem or Carpe Noctem?
9 Would you rather wake up early or late?
10 Where do you want to go for vacation?
11 Do / did you have a pet?
12 Can you fold an origami?
13 Have you learned how to knit?
14 What’s your favourite book (recommendations?)?
15 What’s your favourite movie (recommendations?)?
16 What’s your favourite show (recommendations?)?
17 Do you cook often (what kind of meals?)?
18 Do you bake often?
19 Do you often think of outer space?
20 Do you like to watch shooting stars?
21 What’s your favourite kind of weather?
22 What’s your favourite fruit?
23 Are there posters put up in your bedroom?
24 Do you have patience?
25 Which one do you prefer: card or board games?
26 Which one do you prefer: cake or muffins?
27 Which one do you prefer: taking a bath or showering?
28 Which one do you prefer: candles or christmas lights?
29 Which one do you prefer: raspberries or strawberries
30 Which one do you prefer: cats or dogs?
31 What’s your MBTI?
32 Which kind of magical creature would you choose to be: a) zentaur b) fairy c) mermaid d) witch
33 What’s your zodiac sign?
34 Which one would you choose (sports) : a) soccer b) basketball c) badminton d) ice hockey
35 Which one would you choose (school subjects): a) english b) history c) maths d) PE
36 Which one would you choose (plants): a) cactus b) apple tree c) orchid d) daisy
37 Which one would you choose (animals): a) dog b) peacock c) tortoise d) zebra
38 Which kind of magical pet would you choose: a) dragon b) unicorn c) hippogriff
39 Name a fandom you’re in (it doesn’t have to be a book/series/movie fandom - bands etc. is possible, too)
40 What’s your hogwarts house?

can u imagine lance’s reaction to the paladins throwing him a birthday party

like hunk and pidge would probably try to sing him happy birthday in spanish but end up doing it horribly wrong but he doesn’t care bc it reminds him of all the little birthday parties at his abuela’s house and all the cousins singing it and it kind of sounded just like that

and coran would probably try to bake him a cake without hunk’s help and it probably tastes like shit but lance could eat it all if it means seeing that happy look on him that it makes lance think about his dad

and allura would probably put some altean music bc she knows lance loves listening to music and she wants him to have fun and dance and lance decides to dance with her and he remembers his sister teaching him

and shiro would probably hug him tightly and tell him how proud he is of him and how far he has come and lance feels like a little kid in his brothers arms

and keith would probably give him the worst present ever in the most awkward way bc he doesn’t know how to do this and lance laughs and then keith smiles like seeing lance happy was his goal since the beggining no matter what and lance sees his mom and his dad and his entire family in that smile

and he doesn’t know when he started crying but he’s doing it and they are looking at him weird and he cant explain them that he was so sad about expending his birthday away from his family without realizing that he already had another one right in front of him

i like how people are looking at my joseph analysis and either thing its 100% canon or garbage and horrible and that im just trying to make joseph out to be a villain and that i think robert and mary have no flaws themselves

so have another analysis mostly focused on mary’s issues

this is just my theory guys i never stated anything in there to be canon mary could be an alcoholic for a completely different reason that doesnt relate to josephs cheating in the slightest but i find it hard to believe joseph would settle down with someone he’s fully away has a dependency on alcohol and for years outright do nothing about it to help her especially considering hes a christian youth minister.

it might have something to do with mary mentioning “this isnt my first rodeo, it’s my 5th” which hints that mary has given birth 5 times or shes calling joseph a manchild which would be absolutely savage of her to do right in front of his fucking face

so it leads me to believe she’s either

  • insulting joseph
  • has had a 5th child before that she either had to give up or it died at a young age
  • miscarried
  • or if the cult ending is real she gave birth to a literal demon at one point

“but travis, she says she gave birth to only four!!!”

c-sections are a thing you guys, she only really mentioned natural birth when she says “squeezed four little”

if she miscarried, lost the child when it was young, or had to give up one of her children, it would definitely hurt her quite a bit. she would most likely resort to self-destructive behavior as a result.

and ive got a lot of people wondering why mary would become friends with robert knowing that he’s slept with joseph. she must not know, right? otherwise she’d just hate robert, right?

nah man

mary’s smart, she pay attention to her surroundings. but she’s not a snitch. she most like did confront robert about it after she put the pieces together but robert was most likely still distraught after being thrown aside by joseph and she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. mary’s an extremely compassionate woman, i dont feel like after getting a full explanation from robert that she’d hate him.

she knows because she figured out on her own, assumed robert was the one who seduced joseph only to find out that joseph did the same thing to robert he did to the main dad; got close, told you that his marriage was over, slept with you, and turned around after not talking to you for a long time and saying that he and mary were gonna work things out.

mary resents joseph for not telling her what he did with robert, even after being aware that she knows what he’s doing and being aware of his lies, pretending that he’s only being nice and happy around mc dad just to get them into bed with him.

the way he acts really does take a toll on her and her coping mechanism is to drink and flirt with other men. it’s 100% not healthy and not something she should be doing to herself but its the only way she knows how to keep her marriage and really theyre only staying together for the sake of their kids. they’re all still extremely young, one being autistic as well. it’d be way too much on all four of them to divorce just out of the blue, especially when the children clearly love their parents very much even if we dont see mary interacting with he children in the story.

while joseph is off doing all his dates and organizing church stuff she’s most likely with the children. she doesn’t seem like the type to just avoid her parental duties when she knows her husband isnt going to be around. if she knows joseph is going to be home she’ll go and volunteer at the animal shelter, go hang out with robert, or just drink alone. she wants to detach herself from the world and try to keep her mind off of josephs infidelity.

keep in mind in the cult ending dialogue she does say “you ruined my life” we could piece that together with joseph just being a demon and forcing mary into the cult, but it can only tie to where her drinking problem comes in with joseph being the cause for her addiction. she’s fully aware that she shouldn’t be drinking as much as she is, but she’s become dependent on it since she cant leave joseph.

mary has her faults absolutely but to demonize her completely just from your first impressions of her isn’t fair. we get the first impression that joseph is a kind man who will bake with you and bring you cookies, but if we pull back a few layers, we can start to see something sinister in that pink polo shirt just like we can find a kindhearted but hurt woman when we look into mary’s wine glass.

mary definitely loves joseph, she most likely met him when he was still a sailor and they got together at a young age, she probably got pregnant which forced them to get married, lost the child in some way which started her drinking problem and then her husband started being unfaithful before they even had their first child. val is at least in her mid to late twenties, robert lost his wife around when she was getting ready to go to college, so if robert was josephs first offense (which i really dont feel like it is), joseph has been doing this for a very long time when you think about their childrens ages.

all in all please dont hate mary, she has been through a lot you dont have to agree with her coping mechanism but you also shouldn’t throw her under the bus for her self-destructive behavior.

anonymous asked:

can you pleeeease post some stories about/from OMD?


i’ll set the stage: picture a 5′6″ 80 year old man with giant blue eyes and shaggy white hair that is a mix between surfer bro and old man. he’s almost always wearing a jumpsuit and hasn’t purchased new clothes since the 80s or sometihng.

he called me at 11:30 PM when he knew I was in bed. he knew i was in bed because he had been talking to me through my bedroom window for an hour about how he is convinced someone broke into his house in 1949 through the bedroom window. he didn’t live there in 1949. i was like, OMD. it is my bedtime. i know you stay up until 4 AM and sleep until 2 PM every day, but I gotta get up at 7 for work. and he said, “i just had to tell you that i found a picture of my brother in law and i can’t WAIT to show you tomorrow” and then talked at me for 15 minutes (from 4 feet away - literally, our houses are really close together) about his brother in law who is now dead.

he’s lived on our street his ENTIRE life - he was born a few blocks down the road, moved a few blocks up the road as a teen, and bought the house in the 70s. he knows EVERYTHING about the neighborhood.

when i was moving in a few years ago, he sauntered out of his house and sat on the back of the moving truck uninvited, made a skeptical face, and shouted, “WHO are YOU!?” at me. my mom was convinced he was going to murder me for so long. i thought he was so weird at first and my mom was like “someday you’ll just be like, oh don’t mind dan, he’s harmless, he’s just my wacky neighbor” and it’s so true.

he casually drops the craziest stuff into conversation and i never believed him at first but i’ve been fact checking and EVERYTHING he says is true. in one of our first conversations he dropped that my house used to be a brothel and a sex worker owned it and that he was a millionaire and owned property in 5 different states and i didn’t believe him but it’s all true.

sometimes he brings me $5 giftcards to trader joes because he knows i like to buy cookies from there, but scolds me about eating junk food. he’s EXTREMELY healthy and goes to a naturopath. i wish i could post a picture of him but that would be creepy and he HATES the internet - he doesn’t even have a cell phone.

he doesn’t own any big knives so he will leave watermelons on my back porch with a note asking me to cut them in half for him. he always gives me half.

he calls me his favorite friend and i told him about being in a bad spot when i was a young teen and last night while i was talking to him through my bedroom window he said “I’m just really glad you didn’t kill yourself when you were younger.” and it made me cry lol. i love him a lot he’s my surrogate grandpa. he never married or had kids. he waits for me in my backyard when i get home from work almost every day and tries to get me to hang out with him but i usually just want to go inside and chill, i try to hang out with him as much as possible.

he told me he’d never had a birthday party before so last year i threw him a garden party and baked him his favorite kind of cake and some of my friends came over and it was great.

he also hates taxes, trump, the government, and goes to a bunch of neighborhood anti gentrification meetings lol.

anonymous asked:

I just read a post that mentioned the entire Justice League being on Cutthroat Kitchen and I desperately needed to know what your headcanons are on this.

Batman is out in round one. Firstly, he thinks $25k is nothing. What can you buy with $25k. Is that even enough to make a meal. He spends all his money and gets no sabotages and loses anyway because he is honestly a terrible cook. It will be edible and it will keep you alive but it will be terrible. Now, if you give him a fully stocked kitchen with all kinds of equipment he can bake you some fancy, fancy shit. But that’s baking. That is a science. Cooking is bullshit. Medium heat? What the fuck is medium heat? Medium is not a temperature. If you mean 180C say 180C. He never adds enough salt or sugar or fat to anything and everything is too spicy.

Wonder Woman also doesn’t make it very far. She can cook but, like… with fresh ingredients, and specific dishes. Plus she’s a vegetarian? She doesn’t know what the fuck to do with meats. They’re supposed to make chili dogs and she just has no frame of reference at all for what that should even look like. And she got the sabotage to do everything in the microwave. How even??

Flash gets the sabotage that replaces his good shit with garbage but that works in his favor because garbage is his specialty. He will make a delicious meal out of cheese whiz and goldfish and cocktail weenies. Unfortunately trash is all he’s good at. The man loves trash food. The next round they have to make something fresh and he’s SOL.

Green Arrow can’t cook for shit. He can stir fry and maybe roast things. It’s just not enough. He just buys sabotages for everyone because he wants to do as much damage as possible before he’s gone. Trolliver. He makes the Flash walk everywhere on top of egg crates. He’s the one who gives Wonder Woman the microwave.

J’onn can’t play because he can’t convince anyone he isn’t reading Alton’s mind for ideas. Alton always knows what you should do. Being able to read Alton’s mind is the ultimate advantage. Plus he can tell which judge it is, so he knows whether he needs to go for good food generally or for the best representation of the dish. Different judges want different things!! Honestly it is for the best they wouldn’t let J’onn play because he’s an alien and he eats weird shit.

Once they get Aquaman to understand the concept he gets really into it. He’s a great cook! How does he know how to cook these things? The man loves food. By all rights he shouldn’t be any better than Wonder Woman but holy shit he’s amazing. The things that man can do with a crab… he gets a sabotage to wear lobster claws but is weirdly highly functional. Ollie regrets buying it. Of COURSE he can handle having claws. He’s probably asked for advice. He should have bought the claws for Superman. In the end it’s Aquaman versus Superman which no one saw coming.

Superman wins. It’s bullshit. Everyone is mad about it. Not because he didn’t deserve it but because WHAT IS HE BAD AT. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING. Where did he even learn this stuff??? Little do they know HE GREW UP ON A FARM. THAT BOY CAN MAKE MAYONNAISE FROM SCRATCH, AND DOES. There’s a no-superpowers rule in place with a fine for offenders but he is actually great about it because Martha never let him use powers in the house. They get asked to make a lasagna and he’s so excited because he never gets to make time-intensive things usually. Murphy’s Law and supervillains get him every time he tries. He doesn’t have enough time to make his mozzarella and ricotta and tomato sauce from scratch like he usually does (YOU DO WHAT) but he does make his own pasta and it does not seem to occur to him not to do this. He lets Aquaman buy the sabotage to take his pasta because he didn’t even grab any. He does that thing where he sings pop songs in the voice of the original singer while he cooks and they have to ask him to stop so they won’t have to pay royalties. He’s very embarrassed because he didn’t realize he was doing it. He successfully stops himself from adding way too much garlic, even though he thinks it’s better with like… a whole head of garlic… all the garlic, in the world. Aquaman makes a really good eggplant lasagna but he just can’t compete with the meaty cheesy midwestern monstrosity that Superman has created.


Masterchef AU

Grantaire as a famous pâtissier, recognizable for his way too casual manner and tendency to drink.

Enjolras as the chef of the 5-star restaurant Les Amis, famous for his looks, charm and for being fucking made of steel.

But wait!

They’re the judges