not that i'm complaining to i love my mom

Just think: in two weeks, we’re going to be watching the last two episodes of Regular Show.
And then it’s over.

No more Mordecai and Rigby.

No more Rigleen.

No more “my mom” jokes.

No more Terror Tales of the Park.

No more complaining about Mordecai’s love life.

No more of Benson threatening to fire Mordecai and Rigby.

No more of Pops’ laugh.

No more “OOOOOOOOOH”.

And I will be depressed.

(feel free to add anything else if you want)

The Front Bottoms Lyric Starters
  • 1: "I'm probably going to leave real soon, just wanted to let you know before I say Au Revoir"
  • 2: "I got so stoned, I fell asleep in the front seat."
  • 3: "It's a shame the bad habits are the hardest ones to break"
  • 4: "I want to contribute to the chaos, I don't want to watch and then complain"
  • 5: "You are the reason I'm smiling when there's nothing to smile about"
  • 6: "I wanna be stronger than your dad was for your mom"
  • 7: "You were too good, I should have known you were a prize my hands could never hold"
  • 8: "Honey, y'gotta learn that love is simple just like mud. If you play the dirt, then I'll play the water. All we gotta do is touch"
  • 9: "You are still the only thing and everything I need in my life"
  • 10: "I try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense"
  • 11: "There is very little left of me and it's never coming back"
  • 12: "Would you kick me in the face please? It'll make whatever I say sound like poetry."
  • 13: "We keep saying we're unhappy and they keep saying that we're fine"
  • 14: "I know what he's saying couldn't have been that funny but you seem to be laughing quite loud"
  • 15: "Dear policeman, you can call me god"
  • 16: "I shouldn't feel like I have to protect you"
  • 17: "I don't think that anybody else could feel this way"
  • 18: "There is a map in my room on the wall of my room and I’ve got big big plans."
  • 19: "What about your friends don’t you love them enough to stay?"
  • 20: "If you need a little sunshine, you can borrow some of mine"
  • 21: "there are not so many options, there's not so many ways that this could possibly end."
  • 22: "And all of a sudden I am scared, all of a sudden I can't breathe."
  • 23: "I shaved my head last night to start anew, in a chapter I call without you"
  • 24: " I refuse to take another breath 'till you change who you have become"
  • 25: "Does anyone else think these girls are a little too young to be here?"
  • 26: "It makes me sad in my head to think how happy we could have been."
  • 27: "Maybe college won't work out, I can come live at your house"
  • 28: "You are water twelve feet deep and I am boots made of concrete"
  • 29: "I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat and he is screaming and crying for help and maybe halfway through it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself "
  • 30: "My friends are happy, I am happy, I have learned to adapt "
  • 31: "I am a creature of a culture that I create"
  • 32: "I've been around long enough now to know that the good things never last"
  • 33: "you gotta promise not to break no matter how far you are bent"
  • 34: "If you're uncomfortable, I could take my clothes off too."
  • 35: "I would sleep better on your floor than I would ever in my bed"
  • 36: "At my funeral, don't lie, tell them I did not want to die."
  • 37: "The end of the world makes me nervous"
  • 38: "It's just hard to explain, I like to be by myself"
  • 39: "You're not even sleeping, you're probably even listening to me"
  • 40: "If you still believe in the Lord above, get on your hands and knees and pray for us"
  • 41: "thank you for understanding my side of the story the best that you could"
  • 42: "It’s reached the point in the night where I need to decide whether I’m gonna fall asleep or watch the sunrise"
  • 43: "I don't regret it, how could it? You were the best I ever had"
  • 44: "We will steal whatever we want for fun"
  • 45: "I wish I could pretend to be all of the things you think you see in me"
  • 46: "I want we had, just want to feel it with someone else"
  • 47: "I personally think it's too cold to have the window open"
  • 48: "what we have is nowhere near as good as what we should have by now"
  • 49: "the only thing keeping me from walking away is every muscle in each one of my goddamn legs"
  • 50: "It's okay to give up, 'cause nobody here could care less"
  • 51: "There's nothing in California that you could not learn to hate here"
  • 52: "the sun was made for people who were never gonna touch it "
  • 53: "Will you come over tonight? I need some inspiration for my story."
  • 54: "I would say anything if it would make you happy."
  • 55: "I love your eyes the way they look when your uncomfortable."
  • 56: "I bought fireworks a big bag in Pennsylvania"
  • 57: "They'll probably arrest me, it'll probably ruin my whole summer"

“Autism will not define you! I am your voice!” (actual words from the blog of an autistic boy’s mother)

Petition to fucking stop parents who say things like this to/about their autistic kids.

“Autism will not define you!” = “I just really wish you could be normal.”

“I am your voice!” = “I don’t care to even acknowledge that there are other ways in which you can communicate. Just shut up and let Mommy run your life.”

My Mom's Thoughts On - Steal My Girl:
  • Alright, so my internet was out when the video originally came out so of coarse I was being very annoying. Thus when i finally did show her she was very... Judgmental to say the least.
  • *Video starts and there is a trailer sitting there*
  • Mom: Oh god what is this.
  • *Boys come out*
  • Mom: What the hell are they wearing?
  • *Harry asking where the director is*
  • Mom: You're in the middle of the desert, he probably got lost. GPS isn't a thing everywhere.
  • *Boys complaining he's late*
  • Mom: That's so scripted it's funny.
  • *Director shows up*
  • Mom: Danny Devito,I didn't know he was still alive. Oh well this is gonna be a train wreck.
  • Me: Stop don't be so mean
  • *Devito asking questions he doesn't want answered while showing the boys*
  • Mom: Can that man chew with his mouth closed please.
  • Mom: Alright, Harry's a pimp now I see, why do I let you listen to their music?
  • Me: Because you do, he's not a pimp.
  • Mom: Well he's certainly not dressed for the desert that's for sure.
  • Mom: Niall, once again the only one your allowed to marry, poor kid stuck with this guy.
  • Me: What do you have against him?
  • Mom: Nothing, but don't you think he'd have something more important to do rather than direct this video?
  • Mom: Liam, honey, you need to shave your face. And what the hell did that boy do to his arm?
  • Me: He don't need to shave, and he broke it leave him alone.
  • Mom: Did he break it on stage? OMG that must have been embarrassing, I hope someone told his mother, she'll need to know for insurance reasons.
  • Me: I don't think he has to worry about insurance.
  • Mom: Lewis looking normalish, rather sarcastic looking.
  • Me: Louis, how many times have we been over this.
  • Mom: You know I dated a Louis once, he was almost your father.
  • Me: Well I did not need to know that information, thank you.
  • Mom: Ahhh Zayn my least favorite, he looks good for being in the desert, with a girls headband on.
  • Me: *Mumbling* Dad liked him dressed as a girl.
  • Mom: I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FATHER AND HIS PREFERENCES.
  • Me: Well someones jealous.
  • Mom: *Evil mom glaring at me, so I shut up.*
  • * Dude giving them their things or whatever*
  • Devito: *To Harry* Love
  • Mom: He isn't going to get much love with that outfit on.
  • Devito: *To Niall* Light
  • Mom: Is it because he's got blond hair, that's mean.
  • Devito: *To Liam* Power
  • Mom: he cant have that much power, he is taking place in this music video.
  • Devito: *To Louis* Danger
  • Mom: *Bursts out laughing* The only thing he' even close to being, is a lost little boy in the middle of the desert.
  • Devito: *To Zayn* Mystery
  • Mom: He's not dangerous, and he stole my husband, not my daughter.
  • Me: Once again not my fault.
  • *Devito talking*
  • Mom: Can he not talk and spit apple pieces everywhere?
  • *Video actually starts and Liam's breaking stuff*
  • Mom: Liam Breaking things, with a broken arm, that's never gonna heal right if he keeps doing dumb things like that.
  • *Zayn with sumo wrestlers*
  • Mom: Why? What possessed a person to sit down and think of this. I feel bad now, get this child away from theses people.
  • *Shows Niall, Harry, and Louis*
  • Mom: Niall! My baby!
  • Mom: Harry you need to cut your hair, love.
  • Mom: Why does that one have have a monkey? Where are his parents? have these boys been kidnapped? Katie do who do I call and complain to?
  • *Zayn singing*
  • Mom: I'm sorry, but why is the toothpick holding back two SUMO WRESTLERS!
  • *Niall moving toward where he needs to stand*
  • Mom: The hell does that boy think he's doing?! Put on a shirt!
  • *Niall Singing*
  • Mom: Is that raciest?
  • Mom: Why do people think this is a good idea for a video?
  • *Boys singing on top of rocks*
  • Mom: This is why you young people need insurance, what if one of them fell off and snapped their neck?
  • *Niall dancing*
  • Mom: At least he seems happy to be outside without a shirt in the middle of the desert.
  • *Acrobats doing stuff*
  • Mom: How mach money did they spend on these people that have nothing to do with the song?
  • *Louis, with Devito and a monkey*
  • Mom: Someone get this child away from the creepy thing and the monkey.
  • Me: You are so mean.
  • Mom: Shut up I feed you.
  • *Zayn spilling saint on sumo wrestlers*
  • I hope they tested that paint on the skin before they threw it all over each other, someone might be allergic.
  • *Liam signing on a thingy*
  • Mom: DO YOU SEE THAT SHAKING ITS GOING TO GIVE OUT UNDER HIS WEIGHT, THERE IS ABOUT TO BE ONE LESS MEMBER IN ONE DIRECTION! HIS ARM IS BROKEN ALREADY TOO! IS THAT HOW HE BROKE IT?!
  • Me: THEY WOULDN'T PUT IT ONLINE IF HE DIED! And NO! He was in Vegas and did something, calm down mother.
  • Mom: I remember when your father and I went to Vegas... I think that's about 9 months before your brother was born.
  • Me: I really didn't need to know that.
  • *Louis singing with a monkey*
  • Mom: I hope both the child and the monkey have had all their shots.
  • Mom: Maybe they are trying to knock them off one by one, Liam with the metal death trap, Niall dying of heat stroke in the desert, Zayn with the sumo wrestlers, and Louis is going to die of a monkey bite.
  • Me: Stop that-
  • Mom: IS THAT A LION, THAT'S IT I'M CALLING THE POLICE AND ADOPTING THEM, THEY ARE NOT TO BE OUT OF MY SIGHT, AND HAVE TO STAY INSIDE AT ALL TIMES-
  • Me: Alight! Adopt them! Yay!
  • *Balloons appear*
  • Mom: Now their littering balloons in the desert.
  • Mom: They are grounded, not allowed to leave their rooms.
  • *Random people in the desert doing things they are being paid for*
  • Mom: How much do you think they spent on this only for it to be as random and unorganized as this?
  • Mom: They got a marching band, acrobats, a monkey, a lion some dancers and all for what reason?
  • *harry appears to sing*
  • Mom: He, quite literally, just came out of no where.
  • Mom: I see no purpose in this, why can't he just sing in peace, why can't they all do that?
  • Mom: He needs a haircut.
  • *It starts raining in the desert*
  • Mom: They made it rain in the desert, how much did this cost? For it to rain in the desert? Do they not have a budget?
  • Mom: Now they are going to have sand stuck to them and they are not coming into my house all wet like that.
  • *Ending of video*
  • Mom: Spent all that money for nothing, I could of made a better video with a handheld camera.
  • Mom: There was no reason for me to watch that...
  • Mom: I'm leaving
  • *Mom Leaves, I hit Replay*
My Husband, David Tennant
  • Mom: I swear, you have some sort of fetish for David Tennant.
  • Me: What?
  • Mom: Everytime I look at your laptop, there's something relating to David Tennant on the screen.
  • Me: Mom...
  • Mom: Why is this? I demand a reason.
  • Me: Well, he's my husband... *whispers* ...in my mind, at least
  • Mom: Well that's crazy, he's about 30 years older than you.
  • Me: Its only 26 years, mom. And anyways, as long I love him, it DOESN't MATTER.
  • Mom: Where did you get that idea from? It matters if he's over TWICE YOUR AGE
  • Me: *turns on music* IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD'VE PUT A RING ON IT.
  • Me: I was only obeying a command. I like him, so I married him.
  • Me: I should probably mention my other husbands: Matt Smith, Benedict Cumberbatch, Andrew Scott, John Barrowman...
  • Mom: Isn't the last one gay?
  • Me: THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS LOVE. LOVE REIGNS OVER ALL.
  • Me: *speaks like an automated voice message system* I'm sorry the complaint department is now closed. No more complaining allowed.

anonymous asked:

A bit of what's going on at my house: My sister complained about having crumbs on her bed and being the Nerd I am, I said instinctively, "I would love to have Krum in my bed." And my mom started to get all scandalized but my dad just nodded and went "Same." Honestly, this family is a mess now it's a group discussion about which Harry Potter boy we'd most like to bed. (Sister wants Ron, I'm after Draco, Mom wants Lupin, and Dad called the Weasley twins. Grandma wants Shacklebolt (she traded mom))

Iconic.