not that i can convey that in anyway in my picture

animoozies  asked:

Ice spiced latte. Hey girl. Do you have any sources or recommendations on how to get better at drawing anatomy as well as shading.

Heyo Connie!

I guess the first thing I really gotta reccomend is Pinterest. This site is everything. I personally use it constantly for inspiration and of course, sources on areas of practice. Some pieces I have started just from a quick scroll through that website. 

 - THE LITERAL HOLY GRAIL OF ALL ANATOMY REFERENCES IM SERIOUS GO HERE EVERYONE GO HERE I FOUND THIS A FEW YEARS AGO AND I FUCKING CRIED.

For anatomy, my honest-to-god advice would have to be the most basic practice out there; draw from life. We see others everyday and it’s some of the most essential sources. I have discussed before that anatomy is a crucial aspect to creating a style as it will contribute to any style out there. Here’s the full anatomy talk I gave to an anon a while back. It covers most of the important shit I want to tell anybody. 

Anyway, from what I can collect over the years, anatomy relies mostly on basic shapes.

We’ll get into that later. For now, i’ll show you a technique that I practiced when I was younger from some random website. I can’t quite remember what the technique was called but let me just point out that any kind of technique the internet has will work or won’t with different people. It’s what you make of that technique yourself after you’re fluent with it that counts. There’s a lot personalaspects that have changed the technique I’ve used since i’ve stopped using it. Here’s a basic example of that technique;

As you can, most of the lines go after the circles. That’s the most basic body shape. What matters is actually the rendering of all of this. There’s a lot of mistakes that may come with doing any technique; a common one would have to be being neat with it. That’s not the case if you want to have a better flow in your drawing; be messy with your lines. Rendering will sort everything else afterwards. Being messy and almost spontaneous with these guidelines will allow your drawing to be more open to natural positions and prevent your character looking stiff. There’s also a stress that comes along with being neat with it all; you aim for perfect lines and that’s the case you shouldn’t be going for. The human body is flexible, it’s unexpected even. Rendering these lines will give you a clearer guide to the final product;

Rendering out the lines can sometimes mean just basically going over the lines in the first step but trust me when I say that rendering is all about decisions; whether your want to that leg just a bit closer to the other or an entire arm in a different position. And of course, the final lines come around eventually;

These techniques and the understanding that the human body can be defined into mere shapes are what I reccomend to anybody who wants to practice more anatomy. They can be used to sources such as basic pictures online. Here’s an example of the process;

After a few more lines, rendering;

I didn’t do significant lineart here but rather, refine more for the drawing;

As you can see, I fill out some of the blank spaces using lines. This is still part of a sketch process but is crucial once you move on to colouring and all sorts; shading is something I can’t define for everyone. Anyone could have a different take on shading but what I do reccomend is starting out easy! Find the most basic spots where you just know there should be shade. Of course, under the chin, the back of the legs. All these things can be a huge factor for your next step into your piece; it can contribute to how you use colours. The sketch process is the guideline in itself to everything that may come afterward. 

As for the lighting in shading itself; I would look into lighting angles around the face first as it is crucial to most of what you will probably draw later on. A book truly recommend is Dynamic Light and Shade by Burne Hogarth. It is such a beautifully detailed book that not only shows great examples of pieces themselves but also extends upon how the light can affect any work and what mood it can convey as well. Other reccomendations would go towards inspiration from others’ work and like I said, in real life. I cannot tell you how many pieces I have created are inspired by the light I observe in real life. Take photographs and skim through them if you must; I do it most days in all kinds of environments to see how the light can be used in my work. 

As for anatomy, here are some techniques you can use; 

- The Coil Technique 

- Here’s some good figure drawing tips. 

- I believe this is the technique I started out with a few years ago.

Others you can find by a quick scroll through the interwebz. 

I have so much more to say on these two subjects but honestly it will take years; this is the gist of it all, at least. 

I’m not the master of anatomy, i have too much to learn still but over the years, I’ve learned how to cope with things I never thought I could cope with. With practice, I swear to god, things do change. I remember when eyes were like hell to draw but now, I enjoy doing them because I’ve found my own way to doing them. I remember just dying at the thought of doing the goddamned hands but it’s not so bad these days. Everything is a stepping stone and anatomy as a whole will take years for people to really get by and I’m hardly there, so don’t worry if you’re still steady at it, everyone learns at their own pace and that’s okay. 

Adios amigos. 

Alright kids buckle up this is gonna be a long one

Viktor owns a dacha that he inherited from his family that’s way out in the middle of Butt Fuck, Russia on the shore of a lake the name of which Yuuri cannot pronounce. 

Yuuri finds out about the dacha because the key to the place is an actual skeleton key and Yuuri asked about it while holding Viktor’s keys for him one day.

“Oh, that’s just the dacha,” Viktor took the key and spun it around in his fingers, contemplative. “I haven’t been there in years, not since the deed was put in my name. Maybe I’ll take you there someday.”

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Seventeen Reaction to Falling for International Fan

make a request or check out the master list! [ gifs do NOT belong to me ]

I decided to make the reader attend a fansign event in Korea, since that would maybe make it a bit more….jarring?? is that the right word? Idfk

-Admin AJ


S.Coups/Seungcheol His eyes passed over you when you were waiting in line. He kept glancing back at your spot to study your face. You seemed nervous and he could tell this was maybe your first time attending an event for them. As you got closer he noticed the outfit you chose, and how it complimented you so well and you seemed to be taking pictures and recording. When you got to him, he was instantly shy and blushing at having your attention on him. “What is your name? You are very cute. I see you from far.”

Originally posted by sunkissedhao

Jeonghan He saw you during their greeting and smiled at you. He waved in your direction as to not be obvious, however he kept glancing back at you when he turned to wave at the others attending the event. He tried doing more poses in your direction so whenever you took pictures you got a good view of him. Once you reach him at the table, he takes your hands in his and smiles at you. “Hello! What is your name? Name is cute like your face.”

Originally posted by visual-17

Joshua/Jisoo He spotted you and was happy to see you since, it meant you either had to save up just for the event, or you were vacationing/studying abroad. He’d make sure to make a mental note to see what language you spoke, and if it was one he spoke, he’d speak it to comfort you. He’d also help and translate for you to the nearest members so that you wouldn’t get flustered. “Don’t worry about the language barrier, we can feel your energy and it makes us even happier to know that you were brave enough to come anyway.”

Originally posted by kristian-do

Jun/Junhui He noticed you looked different from the Korean fans. He smiled and mentally applauded your bravery to come to an event where, you may not be familiar with. He knew how it felt to have a language barrier between you and your peers. Not to mention when it involves celebrities that also may not speak your native language. He’d try to convey his attraction to you as best as he can. So in his limited English he tries flirting with you. “You are very, beautiful. I like your smile.” He gestures to his own smile and holds your hands.

Originally posted by withjunhui

Hoshi/Soonyoung He spotted a face that didn’t look Korean and was intrigued. He looked in your direction and felt this heat spread across his cheeks to his ears. He noticed that you watched and listened attentively and that you seemed a bit frustrated at not understanding something. He whispers to either Vernon or Joshua how to say a few phrases. Once you get to him and are before him. He shyly repeats what he was taught. “Sorry, you cannot understand. I learn English for you. Thank you for support. You are very pretty.”

Originally posted by fyhoshi

Wonwoo The other boys were joking about and when one of the members moved to one side of the stage, he happened to see a face that caught his attention immediately. After the member moved away, he kept looking at you and he kept trying to keep himself from staring so much. He tries to spend the rest of the event recalling what he does know of English. As well as silently whispering English words to himself. When you are in front of him, he does his best to pick out words you say that he knows and piece the sentence together. “Oh yes! I know little bit. Thank you for love and support? Yes? Okay. You are very, pretty.”

Originally posted by bokdeongeori

Woozi/Jihoon He actually notices you after one of the other members points you out and he is intrigued. He noticed that when he smiled in your direction you brightened up and he couldn’t help but feel shy afterwards. When you reached him he tries greeting you in his limited English. He understands that you don’t speak Korean, and he nods his head to show you he understands. As he signs your stuff he writes a note in English and asks if you understand it. “I am thankful you listen to Seventeen music. You are nice and pretty. Please support more?”

Originally posted by adoring-woozi

DK/Seokmin He heard his name be called in a voice that had a non-Korean accent. So when he turned his head, he spotted a foreign looking face. He smiled at you and he smiled even brighter when you waved at him. When you reach him to get his signature on your stuff, he can’t help but smile and hold your hand. “You not Korean? It’s okay because I love Carat! Thank you!”

Originally posted by hanwooz

Mingyu He grabbed Vernon and pointed you out. He asked for some pickup lines that he could use. He practiced them mentally and he whispered them to himself to get comfortable with the pronunciations. So when you reached him he froze up and smiled at you. He listened to what you had to say and was able to piece together what you were saying. At the last second he told you the pickup line. “You are a Carat, but your smile is priceless…Sorry,my English not best.”

Originally posted by moncheriwonwoo

The8/Minghao He was not prepared to see an international fan in the crowd. He was appreciative that you still came to the event and he was definitely proud of you. He’d feel bad that you looked lost when the group spoke. He’d ask Joshua and Vernon to translate since, he wanted you to enjoy the event as well. So when you came up to him and he heard you thank him and mention his request for translation he smiled. “It’s ok! I can’t speak English well, but you listen still. Carat, inspire me to be,brave. I learn for you.”

Originally posted by mingyuwu

Seungkwan He looked out on the crowd and saw a foreign face. He immediately called out to you on his microphone and asked everyone to commend you for your bravery. The other members and fans welcomed you and he tried to greet you in English and he blushed at your smile when his accent jumbled his words. Later when you arrived at his spot, he apologized for putting you on the spot. “Sorry I make you shy! I proud of my Carat. You are very beautiful! I better my English so next time, I speak English good!”

Originally posted by seungkvvan

Vernon/Hansol  A member mentioned that a foreign Carat was in the crowd. He looked over and was surprised. He waved at you and welcomed you in English. He asked where you originate from and when you responded he was quite surprised. He kept an eye out as well as tried to await if you called out anything at any of the members so he could translate the comment to the directed member. When you arrive at his spot, he was suddenly much more shy. “It’s cool you came all this way just for this event. I hope you at least take some time to enjoy Korea. Make the most out of your trip!”

Originally posted by visual-17

Dino/Chan He could not contain his excitement when he spotted you. He felt so many emotions at the same time and he waved at you and sent hearts your way. He couldn’t help but feel giddy at your reaction. He then remembered his limited English and begin to panic at how he would communicate with you. As you reached him he first asked if you spoke Korean, even if it was a bit and frowned at your disappointed face. “It’s okay! I only speak little bit English. You are very cute! My Carat is so tough! Carat don’t speak Korean but come to sign. Thank you.”

Originally posted by performanceunit

Favors-William Nylander

Originally posted by nylanderhoe


All right, anon, you asked for this, and I’ll be damned if I don’t deliver. This is NOT an installment of Torn Up but if you haven’t read my series yet I ask that you do. I don’t know how I feel about this one, but I sure hope that you like it! Also can you believe his hair in this gif? Certainly magical

Anonymous said:  Hello! Is it possible if you do a Willy imagine just like the Leon imagine about tension. I can totally picture Willy being a little shit 💩.

Warnings: lots of cussing, lots of innuendo, and one (1) scene that is a steamy PG-13

Check out my series Torn Up

“You didn’t tell me he was going to be here,” you complained, crossing your arms over your chest and beginning to move backwards towards the door.

“I didn’t think I had to. I told you it was one of Kappy’s team events. Common sense dictates that Willy would be here, too,” Annika said plainly, reaching out an arm to pull you back without even having to look at you. “I was going to make you come anyway though, Y/N, because you said you owed me and I’m cashing in.”

You did owe her, and you owed her big. “I don’t see why this is what you’re going to use that on. If I were you, I’d save your favor. Knowing us, we’re going to get into some sort of trouble and it’d do you well to let me go home now so I can bail you out of jail or something later.”

“Nuh, uh. You can’t try and trick me out of this. You’re smart, but no amount of doublespeak is gonna convince me otherwise. I get to choose what I use my favor on. Hell, you might owe me two favors for that! I can’t show my face in that Starbucks again, and it’s the closest one to the gym. That’s at least two favors,” she argued. You knew that she was right; you had made her tell one of your hookups, who happened to work at the Starbucks you and Annika frequented after yoga on Thursdays, that you didn’t want to hear from him again. According to Annika, the guy was crushed. He had actually cried.

The two of you had built a friendship on dealing in favors, but reinforced it with your shared love of clothes, romance novels, and designer smoothies. You hadn’t gotten close, though, until she invited you to a party where you had gotten very, very drunk and made the mistake of going home with William Nylander. You sought her out for advice about how to deal with him afterwards, how to convey to him that you were not going to let him into your pants any time he wanted just because you had made one bad decision and fallen for his charms. Annika had been understanding and didn’t even think about giving you any shit about it, and thus the two of you were practically inseparable. It was true that your habit of frequently hooking up with random guys started after William, but she never mentioned it, not in the six months it had been, and for that you were thankful.

Keep reading

kittyichooseyou  asked:

I have a klk question, and I apologize if you've answered it before, but, do you find any significance in Ryuko taking a big bite out of an unpeeled lemon in her introduction? Like, was it just meant to make her seem hard? Or like, does it have some subtext I don't understand? Is she ever seen eating lemon/drinking lemonade as a background thing? I've always wondered about this. Thanks.

I gotta be honest with you: I’m atrocious at talking about symbolism. There’s a reason that my hundreds of essays hardly ever mention it. 

So… I haven’t especially covered this before, but I can provide some Thoughts.

First and foremost, the lemon scene has been largely understood as a homage to FLCL, a coming-of-age anime worked on by Gainax—the studio that Hiroyuki Imaishi and Masahiko Otsuka left to found Studio Trigger, which is the team behind Kill la Kill

In the first episode of FLCL, Naota, the protagonist, refuses to drink the rest of the sour, “Lemon Squash” pop that his friend Mamimi didn’t finish. He claims that he “[doesn’t] like sour drinks” and proceeds to toss the can aside.

However, at the end of the episode, Mamimi offers Naota the sour pop again, and his reaction changes. While he repeats his sentiment—“I told you, I don’t like sour stuff”—Naota doesn’t toss the can aside this time, instead guzzling the drink down.

So, when Ryuko, the protagonist of Kill la Kill, begins the first episode of her show not just forcing herself to consume something sour, but does so purposefully, without flinching… there’s probably something there. Kill la Kill’s director Imaishi did work extensively on FLCL, after all.

But what exactly is meant to be conveyed in either series is entirely dependent on how the “sour” symbol is understood.

On the one hand, the “sourness” could be a symbol of “first love.” For Naota to accept the drink in FLCL would be to accept an “indirect kiss” from Mamimi, who had been drinking from the can previously. The “first love” idea seems supported in Kill la Kill, with Ryuko noting, after Mataro steals her lemon (at least in the original Japanese script), “You’re that eager to learn what first love tastes like?”

Mataro: Bitch, don’t try to be all witty! I’ve had my first kiss!

And with the idea of “first love” comes the idea of childishness. Though it may have some… Unfortunate Implications, in both FLCL and Kill la Kill, it could be said that getting into a first romantic relationship is a sign of growing up. The fact that Naota initially refuses to taste “first love” represents his initial refusal to come of age—and the fact that Mataro in Kill la Kill insists that he has had his first kiss (or “get[s] way more action than [Ryuko]!” in the dub) represents his desire to seem “grown-up” and experienced.

Ryuko’s utterly blase eating of the lemon would then also imply that she has had romantic relationship(s) in the past and is not afraid of them.

However, with all of this, the “sourness” could simply be a larger metaphor: a metaphor of adulthood, maturity, that kind of stuff. Naota deciding to take in the sourness at the end of the first opening episode signifies that his show is going to feature his coming of age—something he initially didn’t want anything to do with, but that the story is going to push him to experience regardless. Ryuko immediately biting into a lemon could then signify that she’s already come of age, but—and more likely, considering Kill la Kill’s ending—it could also signify that she’s not afraid of the hardships, challenges, and “sourness” that comes with coming of age.

In this way, I also see the “sourness” as a bit of a metaphor for moving forward rather than running away. The lemon pop in FLCL is first featured when Naota struggles to tell Mamimi that his brother is seeing someone else—a hard, difficult, “adult” situation that’s not fun and not comfortable. Naota throws the can away, perhaps representative of how he wants to run away from this problem. At the end of the episode, though, Naota has revealed the truth to Mamimi, and he then drinks the pop, signifying that there’s no more running away: he’s growing up, whether he likes it or not.

But disregarding the FLCL tribute, a character introduction that features the character biting into a raw, unpeeled lemon is powerful on its own. It tells audiences right away that this character is badass—whether her lemon-eating is because she’s not afraid of growing up or hardship or “first love” or because of any other reason, you shouldn’t mess with this chick.

♢Between the Seams (1)

Originally posted by tyra2215

(( Time Travel AU ))  

(A/N): I’ve never been so excited to start a series in my life. I hope everyone enjoys reading as much as I had fun writing this! Heads up though, I have no idea how I’m gonna end this. Just get ready for a lot of emotional pain. Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader x Jimin 

Genre: Expect lots of angst and smut, if I dare

Trigger Warnings: (For now) Strong language, very suggestive themes. 

Word Count: 4058

Description: ‘Travellers’ are a rarity in this world, and so are the two men you treasure the most; your best friend, Jeon Jungkook and boyfriend, Park Jimin. They are the constant in your life that you’re never ungrateful for and you’ve never felt happier with both of them always by your side. 

But everything as you know it changes entirely the day the universe decides to gift with you a nasty surprise, and for the first time in a long while, the future scares you. Your life gradually falls apart in front of your eyes, and there’s nothing you can do to keep it from crumbling away altogether.

Or is there?

Keep reading

REQUEST: “how about one day Credence does something stupid and starts beating himself up for it, and it ends up with a kiss? Please and thank you”

Warnings: None, really, just a really upset Credence for a little bit there.

Word Count: 1,124


You’d been good friends with Tina and Queenie for a while now, being their next-door neighbor. They were both so good-hearted and kind that it was hard not to be their friend, and because of that, you said absolutely nothing when Newt, Jacob, and Credence came to stay in their apartment. And to be completely honest, you were more than a little fond of that delicate-faced boy with raven-black hair and honey brown eyes. He had been super shy and nervous for the first few months around, but you were patient and waited for him to warm up to you as you attempted to befriend him. You didn’t, and never would, mind his silences and spent most of your time babbling at him when he was around, something which you did not realize Credence appreciated tremendously.

So tremendously that he was not totally afraid to knock on your door one mid-afternoon when everyone in the apartment he lived in was busy. You opened the door in a towel at the soft knocks on your door, assuming that Tina had finished the book you had lent her, and came face-to-face with Credence—Well, face-to-chest—he was very tall. As you stared wide-eyed up at him, Credence’s entire face flushed red all the way to his ears. “Oh, Credence! I should have looked first, I’m so sorry! Please, come in, I’ll get dressed really quickly, I’m so sorry!” You couldn’t help the embarrassed shake to your voice as you stepped aside to let him in.

“N-No, Y/N, clearly it’s a bad time. I-I can come back w-when you’re not busy, I’m sorry, I—” Credence stopped himself before he could ramble on too much.

You were smiling now, the embarrassment fading, as you waved him in, saying, “Really, Credence, I’ve got nothing else planned today anyway. I would love the company!”

Credence ducked his head at that, flattered and a little bit disbelieving still that you enjoyed his company, as he shuffled his way into the apartment. “Y-You’re sure you don’t mind?” He asked after you as you disappeared into your room, presumably to find clothes.

“Of course not, Credence! I’ve missed you these last few days; I’m really quite happy that you came over because, if you hadn’t, I would have come to find you! Please, though, make yourself at home. Take a seat. I’ve got tea brewing, and I’ll be out in just a minute.”

Credence sat at the very edge of his seat on your couch, smiling softly to himself at your kindness and how receptive you were to his presence. He folded his hands across his lap as he waited for you to come out of your room, excited to spend some time with you, though he’d never show it so much externally. When you came out of your room in some loose-fitting pants and a white t-shirt, wet hair falling in damp waves around your face, he couldn’t help but smile a little wider at you. He followed you into the kitchen, happily accepting the cup of tea you offered him, before noticing a picture over your fireplace. “W-Who’s in that picture with you?” He asked, gesturing.

“Come see!” You waved him over as you walked toward the picture. His heart almost dropped when he noticed it was a man only a few years older than you, but then you began to say, “That’s my brother. I haven’t seen him in a while, since he moved pretty far away, so I like to keep the picture up.”

You were smiling fondly at the photo, and Credence couldn’t help extending his hand toward it, which is about when things went horribly wrong. Well, horribly wrong for Credence. His long finger accidentally clipped the edge of the frame, causing it to teeter on the edge of the mantle before toppling to the floor, shattering the glass frame. You gasped before setting your cup down next to where the frame had been and leaning down to pick up the glass shards. “Be careful, Credence! I’d hate to see you get cut on the glass!” You were picking up the shards carefully, not caring overly much since you had plenty of frames, but you were so focused on making sure there was no glass left lying on the floor that you didn’t see the shame on Credence’s face.

He felt his face heat and tears swell in his eyes before spilling over. “I-I’m s—I’m so s-sorry.” You jerked your head up at the sound of Credence’s absolutely broken voice cutting through the silence. “I’m so—so s-stupid, I broke your p-picture and your frame, and I—”

You jumped up quickly, cupping Credence’s face in your hands gently, trying to be careful as he jerked away from your touch. “Credence, it’s okay. It’s just a frame; I have plenty of them! The frame isn’t important to me at all. Please, don’t worry.”

Credence wasn’t pulling away from you anymore as you wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and his cheeks, but he was still talking and punishing himself for his action. “I’m so—I didn’t mean t-to though. I am s-so terrible, and st-stupid, and Y/N, I r-really didn’t mean to, I-I’m so sorry.”

Your heart hurt at how often he was calling himself stupid because clearly his mother had convinced him that was true, and you couldn’t really stop yourself from pressing forward to put your mouth on his—both to stop him from babbling about something so trivial (to you) and to convey how much you cared for him—regardless of the broken frame.

It definitely stopped him from talking for a solid minute, freezing both of you in place—your hand resting on his face with your thumb just brushing against his bottom lip and him just staring at you with wide, wondering eyes. “W-What was that for?” He whispered so quietly that, had there been any other noise in the apartment, you wouldn’t have heard him.

“Well— Because I care for you, Credence. A lot. And I don’t care about the frame; I care about you.”

Silence settled between the two of you, not uncomfortable, as Credence took in your words. Tentatively, he reached up to put one hand on your hip and the other on the back of your neck. “M-May I—May I kiss you again, Y/N?”

You nearly died at how cute he was, his lips tilting up softly at the corners and tears drying on his angelic face, but restrained yourself as you nodded and smiled up at him. Both you and Credence ignored Queenie’s muffled “They’re finally getting together!” exclaimed through the wall in favor of the feeling of gentle, persistent kisses.

Will You Stay?

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Don’t let go of him. He needs you. He wants you stay, but he doesn’t know how to say it.

Warnings: Angst, all that good shit, it’ll end with a sort of cliffhanger idk i like to call it an interpretive ending but whatever floats your boat, also the obvious language warnings and mentions of baby buck not being okay :-(

Word Count: 9.1k (i’m SORRY)

Author’s Note: so, again, thank you to my inspo tag bc I saw this quote and it’s been churning in my head for so long but I’ve never had the chance to actually sit down and write it. This literally took me a full year to write so let’s see how it goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also this could possibly go into a part two if you guys want it. I have an idea for it but if people want to use their imagination to create their own ending then by all means! Anyways, feedback is more than welcome and please leave requests; I’d love to see what you guys want to read :)



It’s funny how easily someone’s world can come crashing down. How easily the bright colors that once painted your world turn to an ashen gray within a few short minutes. It’s sickening that love can raise you up to the sky and show you the world and the beautiful blues and golds of the sky. It’s intoxicating how drunk you feel off of the beauty and the glory of having it all, of seeing it all. How warm you feel, how weightless and limitless, like you’re the air. Twisting and turning, light and free. Young and spirited, wild and reckless and untamed.

Poets, authors and painters convey love with the prettiest words and the lightest shades of pink and yellow and white. They romanticize the fall, the moments before the leap and how wonderful it feels when you finally do.

What they never tell you about is after the fall. 

When you land. When you hit the ground so hard you feel yourself slip away for a little bit, your head spinning and you’re grasping for that feeling to be light again. They never tell you about how tight your chest is and how much it fucking hurts, like you’re bleeding yet desperately trying to sew yourself back together at the same time.

No, they never tell you about after the fall. Because where’s the romance in that? Nobody wants to write about the hardships, the pain and emptiness. Nobody wants to look at a painting splattered with red and black and the darkest purples. Where was the beauty in that?

There was no beauty. There was nothing to put on a pedestal, nothing to turn into a pretty picture with a smiling face. All that is left are cracked smiles and bruised knuckles and whispered hopes of trying, begging for an answer. There is no beauty in stained cheeks and watery eyes. There is no romance in a broken chest and empty lungs.

Beauty is pain, perhaps, but pain is not beauty.

Pain is not painted with flowers and rich silks and velvet trim. Pain is lurking in the shadows, the silent master that waits patiently for its turn to remind you that beauty is not everything, that love is misconception, confusion and a liar. Pain is the reality that you refuse to believe in when you’re suspended in the clouds.

And how stupid was I, how naïve I was to believe I could escape reality. That I could live in my pretty little painting. Idyllic and serene and fashioned perfectly to what I wanted. Created by my own fantasies and selfish heart, my pretty little painting. My perfect world. Gone, without a warning and without a sign.

Beauty is pain, but pain is not beauty. And how I wished I had realized that sooner.


I stared at the wall; the blank white wall was all I saw. I focused on the chipped paint and tried to regulate my breathing.

The apartment was quiet. Deadly silent, not even my own breathing could be heard.


A loud clang of a coffee mug meeting the edge of the counter jolted me from my sleep. The string of curses that followed forced my eyes open as I tried to curl deeper into the mattress. Sleep seemed to evade me as the strong scent of crushed coffee grounds filled the apartment, followed by a low whistle that didn’t follow a tune but was catchy in its own way.

I stayed in bed until the heavy footsteps and continued whistling drew closer to the bedroom.

“Good morning,” a deep voice broke through the last of the drowsy haze that covered my eyes. I ran my eyes over the low slung sweatpants and loose gray shirt, the scoop neck revealed the slight swell of his pecs.  When I finally met his piercing blue gaze, my heart stuttered wildly in my chest and judging by the smirk on his face, he could hear it.

“Hi,” I answered in a soft voice, completely anticlimactic but it was all I could muster. He chuckled and bent down, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. He brushed the hair from my neck, the warm skin of his palm elicited goosebumps over my arms.

“I made you coffee,” he murmured as his thumb traced my jaw.

I hummed. “I know, I heard you.”

He winced and I couldn’t help but laugh as I sat up, letting the comforter slide from my shoulders. I crossed my legs as I took the coffee mug from the bedside table and took a tentative sip, careful of the steam that curled from the rim. His hand slid from my neck to my shoulders then dipped beneath my shirt to trace my spine. I watched him, amazed how the sun light reflected in his eyes and how warm his skin looked.

“Will you stay?” I whispered as I glanced at the clock. He usually had to leave me early in the morning, most of the times before I woke. It was rare for him to stay past nine. I was lucky if he even stayed until nine.

He smiled, soft and apologetic as he kissed my lips briefly, humming that silly little tune under his breath.

“Only for a little bit,” he replied but I nodded anyways. I took what I could get it. So we sat as I drank my coffee and chatted aimlessly, stopping every now and then for a lazy kiss. He made me laugh so hard I spilled coffee onto the white sheets of the bed, but I didn’t care. I saw it as another memory, a little reminder.

And when he took my mug back into the kitchen, he was still whistling that tune, quietly but it reverberated throughout the apartment until the birds outside were singing along too.


There was no whistling now. No humming. No empty coffee mugs and no chatty birds. There was nothing.

I turned my head away from the wall and immediately my eyes fell to the droplets of coffee, still stained on the sheets of the bed. They hadn’t gone away, no matter how many times I washed the sheets. But I hadn’t minded then, I had liked knowing that they would always be there. The faint coffee smell always sent be back to that morning, that little slice of heaven. Now it seemed to be taunting, reminding me of everything good that I had lost.

“I’ll kill him,” a voice spoke from the doorway. I chuckled, but it was humorless.

“No, you won’t,” I whispered. I tried to take my eyes away from the drops of faint brown, but I couldn’t. I could feel his lips on my forehead, temple and lips. I could feel the giddiness in my stomach and the fluttering in my chest. I felt it all.

“No, you’re right.” There was dip as the mattress moved to accommodate the extra weight. “That would be too easy. We need a better plan.”

I smiled but it felt wrong. There was a flash of red in my peripheral as a head came down to rest on my shoulder. A sigh rattled through my body as a fresh wave of tears threatened to consume me again but I fought them. I wouldn’t cry. Not again.

“I’ll be fine, Nat.” It sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than I was trying to convince her. Perhaps I was.

“Sure you will,” her voice had an easy confidence to it, something I wished I possessed. “But you’re not fine now. And that’s okay.”

I shook my head as I shrugged her off and pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes. “What a way to end the week,” I chuckled bitterly as my palms became slick with tears. Natasha laid a gentle hand on my back and was silent. She didn’t try to assure me that everything would be okay, that the world would answer my prayers that this day would end and the next day would be better. She knew. She knew how easily fate switched hands.

She knew what I knew, except she accepted it long before I did.


I gripped my umbrella tightly as the rain pattered against the polyester, the cool air bit at my cheeks as I waited at the crosswalk. It seemed the white man would never appear, just the harsh red hand telling me to stop. I sighed and tucked myself tighter into my coat as I allowed my eyes to gaze out to my surroundings until the fell upon a flower shop that acted as a coffee shop too. The faint scent of coffee and buttery scones caused a harsh ache to flourish in my chest.


“Jesus, how much sugar do you take?” He raised an eyebrow at me as I sat idly in one of the wrought iron chairs. The air was clear and the sun was strong as the bustling streets of Brooklyn seemed like an afterthought as I stared at him.

“Enough to make me happy,” I shot back. He shook his head but I could see the smile across his face as he made his way back to the counter to get me more sugar packets.

“You know this shit is fake, right? This isn’t what real sugar tastes like.”

“Excuse me. Did I judge you when you tore through that whole pack of gummy worms last night? No. So let me use my fake sugar in my coffee.”

He smirked and handed me the pink packets. He sat down and picked off a piece of blueberry muffin and popped it into his mouth. He was beautiful. Mahogany hair pulled into a loose bun as his strong jaw worked at the muffin. I hid behind my coffee cup to hide my blush as the sweetness nearly burned my throat. Perfect.

“Wait here,” he said as he abruptly stood up. I didn’t even have a chance to question him nor remind him that I couldn’t go anywhere since he was my ride. Instead, I waited while I sipped away at my coffee and people watched. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I heard a distant pair of footfalls become louder. I turned my head and saw him walking towards me, a single rose clutched in his left hand.

“For you,” he murmured. My heart nearly fell out of my chest as I gasped softly. He normally didn’t do romantic gestures. He wasn’t a hearts and flowers kind of guy. Any sort of affection I got was behind locked doors where no one would see but us.

I took the flower, afraid if I reacted to quickly the moment would shatter. The faint scent tickled my nose and I couldn’t help but smile. A hand cupped my cheek gently, his thumb brushed over the rise of my cheekbone. It was fleeting, it was quick, but I felt the burn for hours after.

“Will you stay?” I whispered, staring into his bright blue eyes and begging for a different answer. His smile was forlorn as his eyes flickered to the rose, then to me.

“Only for a little bit,” he murmured then took the empty sugar packets in his hand and turned on his heel to throw them out.

And just like that, the moment was gone. Nothing but a memory and a rose to remind me that it was real.


I turned my head away, cursing the burn in my eyes. It had been two weeks since I had last cried over him and I refused to break that streak. I was finally doing better. I finally buried the pain deep enough so that it didn’t matter anymore.

The red hand changed to the white man and the crowd around my pushed me forward, leaving the memory behind me as the dismal rain pattered against my umbrella.


I moved four months after he left. The apartment was too suffocating; too much of him was left. Every time I stepped outside the streets of Brooklyn reminded me of him. I couldn’t turn a corner without seeing something that made me think of him. When my job had an opening in Boston, I pounced immediately and without a second thought I told my landlord I was leaving that month and paid the last of my rent.

“I wish you weren’t leaving.” Natasha frowned as I zipped up my suitcase, having to sit on the top due to the amount of clothes I had managed to stuff inside.

“Hey, it’s not forever,” I assured her as I rolled the suitcase out to the living room. “It’s like, a two hour ride in the jet, if that. I’m sure you’ll find some way to stop by after every mission.”

“He misses you,” she whispered and I froze as my heart crunched painfully in my chest.

“Nat, don’t.” I stalked into the kitchen and began to close the boxes filled with plates and cups.

“I know he’s why you’re leaving,” she murmured as she followed me. I recoiled like she had stuck me with a hot iron. “I know the job in Boston is good, but you don’t have to go. You don’t have to leave.”

“Yes I do.” I turned to face her. Her eyes regarded me with a soft sadness that made my mouth dry and my throat clench. “There’s nothing here for me, Nat. I came to Brooklyn for him. He’s gone. There’s no reason for me to stay.”

“If you just talked–”

“Natasha,” I finally snapped. I cursed the break in my voice as I turned my face away.

She sighed reluctantly and walked forward. “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just – I don’t want you to leave. You’re like my sister, y’know?”

I smiled and felt a surge of gratefulness for her and flung my arms around her. She stiffened but relaxed a bit as she wrapped her arms around me. “I’m not far. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“I know. I’ve tried.” She smirked as I feigned offense. And just like that, the playful atmosphere returned but neither of us could ignore the taste of bitterness that tinged the air around us.


Mornings were not my thing. They weren’t something I avidly wanted to be a part of, especially on the weekends. So when some unseen force woke me up at seven on a Saturday morning, I was anything but happy. Yet, sleep evaded me and with a frustrated groan, I kicked off the covers and made my way into the kitchen. When I turned on the light, a scream forced itself out of my mouth when I caught a glimpse of the figure sitting at the breakfast bar.

“Hey,” the voice said, unphased and I immediately clutched my chest as I glared at the shadowy form.

“What the fuck Steve. Couldn’t you have knocked?”

Steve shrugged as he leaned forward. His blonde hair was limp against his forehead and his skin was paler than normal. “Didn’t want to wake you.”

“Oh, so sneaking into my apartment is your next best option?” He shrugged again and I rolled my eyes. “You Avengers need to learn a thing or two about privacy, Jesus.” Scowling, I stalked to the cabinet and pulled out a mug. “Coffee?”

“Please.”

I pulled out another and went to my Keurig and powered it on. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” I asked as I stopped by the refrigerator to grab the creamer.

“Nice place you have here.” Steve ignored my question as he glanced around my apartment. “Boston suits you.”

I nodded as I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out his play. “Yeah, I love it here. It’s peaceful.”

His eyebrows flickered up before the settled back down and he stared at the Keurig. He looked haunted. I frowned at his gaunt expression and turned to the Keurig and inserted Black Silk and slid his cup beneath the spout and pressed a few buttons and soon coffee was pouring into his cup. I knew how he took his coffee I had made it for him only how many times at the Facility. As soon as the coffee finished, I added creamer and one sugar before stirring idly and slid the mug to him.

He nodded his thanks and wrapped his hands around the mug. I saw the slight tremble to his fingers as he gripped the ceramic and I frowned again.

“Steve,” I murmured. “What’s going on?”

He flicked his eyes up and seemed surprised for a moment. “I forgot how perceptive you are. Bucky always loved that about you.” I winced at his name and immediately turned my head to the floor. Steve sighed and set down his cup and rubbed a hand over his weary face. For the first time, he looked his age, 98 years old and tired of the world. “Something’s happened. Things aren’t so good…at the facility,” he muttered and my blood ran cold. I gripped the edge of the counter as I struggled to remain composed.

“Is Natasha–?”

“She’s okay, it’s not her,” he assured me quickly and I visibly relaxed. “She wanted to be here but she had to stay.”

I furrowed my brow as I stared at Steve, my brain turning to try and keep up. “What happened? Why couldn’t she be here?”

Steve swallowed as his shoulders hunched forward. “She had to watch Bucky.” His voice was so quiet I could barely hear him.

“Watch Bucky?” His name felt weird against my lips. It was the first time I had spoken his name in months and automatically I felt something stir deep inside me. “Steve, what are you trying to tell me? What’s going on?”

Steve stared at the creamy liquid inside his mug. When his eyes finally met mine I was shocked at the pain that swam in the blue irises. “Bucky…he’s lost it. He, I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

My heart shattered for Steve as I saw the hopelessness weigh him down and gray his features. “Steve…” I whispered softly.

“He’s just…he won’t eat. He won’t sleep, he won’t talk to anyone. He hasn’t left his room in two weeks. Nothing I say matters. It’s the…this is the worst episode he’s ever had. I’ve never seen him like this in my life.”

Tears pricked my eyes as I rounded the breakfast bar and collected Steve into a hug. He didn’t relax. His shoulders still tense but he let me rub his back. “I’m so sorry, Steve. I am.” I sighed softly as I pressed my cheek to his hair. “I don’t know what to tell you Steve, you know how he gets. There’s nothing you can do, nothing any of us can do.”

“Yes there is,” he whispered and pulled back as he stared at me. Instantly, I knew what he was going to say and I began shaking my head.

“Steve–”

“Please, listen. Please,” he begged. “He needs you. He’s not…he hasn’t been the same without you.”

I shook my head again, this time more adamant. “He doesn’t need me,” I whispered.

“He does. He’s…he does, believe me, please.” Steve sighed and carded his hand through his hair roughly. “I can’t…I can’t help him. I can’t say anything, I can’t do anything. But if you…if you could just see him, just talk to him. Maybe–”

“I’ll make it worse.” My voice was hollow and it didn’t sound like me. “I promise Steve, I’m the last person you want there.”

No, goddammit,” Steve growled as he glared at me, years of pain burned in his eyes. “Don’t you see? He’s not…he’s not Bucky. He’s pretended that he’s been fine but he’s not.”

“Steve–”

“Don’t abandon him, please. Don’t. Not now, please.”

Abandon him?” I laughed. It was humorless and empty as I backed away from Steve. “He’s the one who left me, Steve. You don’t…you have no idea what he said…”


“Hey,” I called out when I heard the front door open. “I’m making dinner, hope you’re–” My words died in my throat when I heard the dorm slam shut again, the force shook the apartment. I froze and listened as heavy feet stormed from the door into the kitchen. I turned and saw his face, brooding and dark and I knew it was going to be one of those nights.

“How was training?” I tried. He ignored me as he strode to the fridge and ripped open the door nearly taking it off its hinges. He peered inside then scowled heavily before slamming it shut again. He didn’t offer me a glance as he stalked out again. I sighed heavily as I stirred the pasta and put the lid on. My first instinct was to run after him but I knew that wouldn’t do me any good. When he got in these moods, the only thing I could do was give him his space until he calmed down enough to come out.

I ate dinner by myself and stowed a plate for him in the microwave. I cleaned the dishes and went through a movie before I looked at the clock and realized it was past ten and he still hadn’t made an appearance. With a resigned sigh, I steeled my nerves and approached the bedroom door. Slowly, I creaked it open and found him lying on the bed face up. His hands clutched the sheets so tightly I could see the tears in the fabric and the whole room crackled with tense energy.

“Bucky,” I murmured. “Your dinner’s cold.”

“Don’t care,” he muttered and I tried not to flinch. I hated when he got this. Angry at everything but most of all, angry at himself.

“Yes you do,” I said as I closed the door behind me. I stepped forward until I could sit down on the bed, careful to keep my distance. “Bucky, what’s going on?”

“Nothin’.”

“Please,” I whispered. “I hate seeing you like this.”

Bucky laughed and I looked up. I wished I hadn’t. There was so much anger trapped in his blue eyes it made my skin crawl. “And what, you think I like being like this? You think I enjoy doing this?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that,” I protested. He snarled as he sat up and the sheets tore with him.

“Then what did you mean? You hate this part of me? Is this not good enough for you? Sorry love, this is who I am. Can’t always please you, can I?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Forget it,” he snapped as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and clutched his head in his hands. My heart cracked in my chest as I watched his shoulders shake from the tremendous weight that constantly threatened to suffocate him. “You can’t fix me. I can’t be saved,” he muttered.

“Bucky, I don’t want to fix you. There’s nothing to be fixed.”

“Bullshit,” he spat. “You know damn well I’m as fucked up as anyone. That’s why you’re here. You want to help me, make me better. Change me. I can’t change, can’t you see that? Can’t you understand?”

“I don’t want you to change, can’t you see that?” I met his eyes as I begged him to understand. “I want to help you, please, let me.”

“Help me?” He scoffed. “Help me? You can’t help me, you don’t understand. You’ll never, ever understand.”

“Then help me understand,” I shot back as I leaned forward. “Let me in, please Bucky. Don’t try to do this yourself, please.”

“You don’t get it,” he sneered as his upper lip curled. “You come from a perfect fucking world. A perfect fucking family, white picket fence and everything. You’ve got your perfect fucking friends and your perfect fucking job. You don’t know a thing about what I go through, you don’t know jack shit. Stop pretending you understand because you don’t.”

I gaped in silence as his words lashed out like a whip, scalding over my face. “You don’t mean that,” I whispered.

“You think so?” He growled as he stood up abruptly, his blue eyes like ice as he vibrated with anger. “You think I need you? You can’t do anything for me, you’ve never been able to help and you never will. I don’t need you, I’ve never needed you.”

“Bucky, stop,” I pleaded. This wasn’t him. This couldn’t be. I’ve never seen him this angry, never in my life.

“Fuckin’…you know what? Forget it.” He whirled around and stormed out of the bedroom. I sat in shock, my eyes wet with tears without even realizing it. I listened as the door was thrown open and winced as it slammed shut and shook the apartment. In the silence that followed, I crumpled onto the bed and gripped the holes he had made in the sheets as I tried desperately to control my breathing.

It’s not real, he didn’t mean it. It’s just a dream, it’ll be okay, I thought to myself like a mantra but the more I said it the less I believed it.

“Will you stay?” I whispered into his pillow as tears burned against my skin.

The silence that followed was the only answer I needed as I finally let the sobs rack my body.


“He needs you,” Steve whispered and I shook my head. I knew I was crying, I couldn’t help it. The memory of the night burned like a fresh burn.

“Believe me when I say this, he doesn’t,” I whispered as I backed up against the counter. The Keurig was hot behind me but I ignored it.

“He keeps asking for you,” Steve said and I closed my eyes at the fresh pain the flared in my chest. “Every time…every, every day. He always asks for you. And then – we have to tell him that you’re not there. And he just…he just breaks and I don’t know what to do.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s saying,” I whispered as I looked at Steve. “You know that, when he has his episodes he’ll say whatever comes to mind.”

Steve shook his head adamantly. “Not now. He begs for you, he needs you. Please, don’t let him go. Please. He needs you, he misses you so much.” He held his hand up when I tried to interrupt and I reluctantly kept it shut. “I know, I know what he said. He told me and so did Nat. He hates himself for it, every day he blames himself for making you leave. He’s scared. He’s so scared and he doesn’t know what to do but he needs you. Please, don’t let him go. He just…I know what he said and I know it hurt more than anything. But don’t give up. Not yet.”

I was really crying now and I furiously tried to wipe my eyes as I shook my head. “Steve, I…I can’t, you know I can’t.”

“Is there anything I can do to make you say yes?” Steve leaned forward and just the look on his face made me want to climb onto the quinjet. “Please. He’s my best friend…I can’t, I hate seeing him like this. You’re the only one who made him better.”

I bowed my head and watched as my tears splashed against my leg. “Steve…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I can’t do anything. I know he says he needs me but…you don’t understand, he doesn’t…it’s not like that anymore. Maybe…maybe I’ll come when he’s calmer, when he’s out of his episode. But not now, not when he’s so vulnerable. I can’t do that to him, I can’t.”

Steve sighed and nodded gravely as he stood up and set his mug into the sink. He turned to me and enveloped me into a strong hug, a hug I hadn’t realized I needed until I was in it. I took in a shaky breath as Steve squeezed my shoulders. “You’re the only one he’s ever truly loved,” he whispered and my chest cracked open as I held back the hard sobs. He stepped back and gave me a sad smile and I could see in his eyes that he was trying to understand. That walking away right now was the last thing he wanted to do. “Please…think about it. That’s all I ask.”

I nodded and watched as he turned his back and disappeared out the window, the distant purr of the quinjet was what I heard before I sagged against the kitchen counter and cried harder than I had over the past six months.


It had been two days since Steve had come to my apartment and our conversation was all I could think about. I tried to move on. I tried to shake off his words. But they were like a mantra in my head that never went away.

He needs you.

He’s my best friend, please.

You’re the only one he’s ever loved.

He needs you.

And the more his words repeated in my mind, the more my resolve began to crack until finally I found myself purchasing a plane ticket and arriving at New York.

I approached the facility late at night, the lights still blazed despite it being close to midnight. With a sigh and fear clenching my insides, I strode through the front door and walked up to the security desk. The security guard was flicking through the CCTVs with a bored expression when I approached him.

“Sorry miss, no visitors at this hour,” he drawled as he kept his gaze fixated on the computer screens.

“I’m…um, I’m here to see Captain Steve Rogers?”

“No visitors at this hour,” he repeated again, monotone. I sighed and gripped the counter to hide my frustration.

“I need to see Steve Rogers. It’s important.”

“No visitors at this–”

“Oh for Christ’s sake,” I muttered as I whipped out my cell phone. The guy didn’t even acknowledge me as I dialed Natasha’s number.

“Romanoff,” she replied in a brisk voice though I could hear the exhaustion that dripped behind the cold voice.

“Nat, it’s me.” I eyed the guard as he still dutifully ignored me. “I’m here, at the facility. Where are you?”

What?” There was a sudden commotion through the speaker before her voice returned. “I’ll be there in a minute, don’t move.”

I ended the call and glared pointedly at the security guard who didn’t even move, his finger clicked on the mouse every interval of three. Some security I thought wryly to myself before I heard the elevator ping and out stepped Natasha. She looked exhausted, her hair was knotted and the bags beneath her eyes were a dark purple as she practically ran towards me.

“Hi,” I said once she stood in front of me. She nodded in greeting, her face grim.

“C’mon, he needs you,” she said in a stiff voice and I could tell she was barely holding it together. I followed her into the elevator and she pressed the button marked 35. Bucky’s floor.

“Nat,” I murmured in the quiet elevator. “How bad is he?” I knew Steve told me he was bad, but Steve had a tendency to overdramatize things especially when it came to Bucky. I wanted to make sure that what Steve told me was in fact, the truth.

“It’s good that you’re here,” she whispered. It’s all she said, but it was enough.

I nodded and swallowed thickly. “Are you monitoring him?”

“Full surveillance.” Natasha confirmed as the doors slid open and we stepped onto Bucky’s floor. “We have to.”

“Shut it off,” I whispered. Natasha was about to protest but I silenced her with a hard glare. “If I’m going to talk to him, it’s going to be just me and Bucky. He deserves his privacy. I’m not going in there until video and audio is cut off. I’m serious, Nat. I’m going to talk to Bucky as a friend, not as a psychiatrist. We don’t need to be monitored.”

Natasha nodded bleakly and squeezed my hand tightly. “Be careful,” she whispered before she disappeared down the hallway. I waited and calmed my churning stomach as I clasped and unclasped my hands in front of me. Two minutes later I got a text from Natasha.

Surveillance cut. Be safe, please.

I pocketed my phone and strode towards Bucky’s door. My hand hesitated in front of the keypad before I shook my head and steeled my nerves. I punched in the familiar code and the doors slid open.

Inside, everything was clean. The bed was made and everything was set within a specific place – nothing out of order. All of the picture frames were gone; the candles I had used to rid the metallic scent of blood were nowhere to be seen. The comforter was replaced with a dull gray quilt.

There was no color, no life.

Everything was too neat. There were no creases in the bed spread when I knew before he couldn’t have cared less how the blankets looked I was always the one who made the bed. The frames were gone but I saw the marks on the bureau from where the corners of the frames had hit too hard and chipped away at the stain. I could still smell a hint of the lavender candles I always used to light but it was overwhelmed with the scent of beech wood like he had done everything in his power to rid the lavender from the room. There were cobwebs laced in the corners of the room and when I looked down I saw cracks in the tile. I wondered how hard his fists had hit the floor to make those marks. The couches all had covers over them but as they fluttered in the air of the heating I could see the pockets of fabric missing from where he had ripped out chunks of the upholstery.

The entire room was set up to make it seem like he was fine when he was really anything but.

I turned my head and jolted when I saw Bucky staring at me. He stood in the doorframe of the bathroom seemingly frozen in place. His clothes were clean, his shirt pressed and his jeans free of grease stains. His hair fell loose around his face and his eyes were bright and wide.

“Why are you here?” His voice was rough, like he hadn’t used it in weeks and I flinched at the sharp hostility in his tone. I knew this was a bad idea, I knew it. My sudden burst of confidence was dwindling fast and I tried vainly to grasp onto it. I turned my head away and swallowed thickly.

“Uh…I just, wanted to…I don’t know. Um, I just wanted to see how you were, I guess. But if you want me to go then I’ll, I’ll go–”

“Wait,” he broke me off as he leaned on the balls of his feet. “Sorry, um, you just…surprised me, I guess.”

I nodded slowly as I rocked back on my heels. “Yeah, sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Bucky nodded again and gave me a soft shrug. There was a pregnant pause and I opened my mouth to make my escape but Bucky beat me to it. “Um, sit, please.” He mumbled, pointing to the armchair facing the window. I chewed on my bottom lip before I relented with a sigh and walked forward, clutching my bag to my chest. Bucky sat on the loveseat that was before the TV.

“So,” I broke the silence once I sat down, “how have you been?”

Bucky shrugged, still not huge on conversation. It reminded me when I first met him. He barely spoke a word to me. It was like he didn’t know me, all over again. “You look good,” he muttered, completely dodging my question. I sighed inwardly as I subconsciously touched my hair.

“Yeah, well, you know. I’m trying. All in a day’s work, right?” I attempted to joke but I knew it fell flat. He wrung his hands together, spreading them apart then clutching them back together.

“And how’s that going for you?” His voice was empty, as if he was steeling himself for an answer he didn’t want to hear.

It was my turn shrug. “I dunno, seemed to have fooled everyone.”

“Everyone?” He murmured and his eyes finally met mine. The icy chasms took my breath away even now.

“Yeah,” I breathed out. His face was expressionless as he looked away. “So…you seem to be doing good.” I nodded to the bed with a small smile on my face.

“Of course I am,” he bit out. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

I winced, his words like a hot knife through his chest. Of course he was fine. He was the one who left me. Suddenly, everything Steve said flew out the window. Bucky never needed me. Just like he had said.

“Yeah,” I mouthed. “Right, of course.”

Bucky shook his head and I saw anger twist his features. “Why are you even here?” He stared at me, his eyes dead. My breath rattled in my chest as my mouth formed no words. After several heartbeats of silence Bucky shook his head and stood up, storming to the bathroom. The door rattled in the doorframe when he slammed it shut and I winced at the sudden sound.

“I don’t know,” I whispered into the silence. Hot tears formed in my eyes and I willed them to go away with a tight squeeze of my eyelids. I refused to cry again. I was done crying over Bucky Barnes. There was obviously no love lost with him, it was time for me to realize that. When I opened my eyes, my vision was blurry but I forced myself up with a staggered breath. With soft steps I pushed open the door and shut it quietly behind me. I looked up at the security camera that I knew was trained on Bucky’s door. Where I knew Nat and Steve were watching. I gave a small shake of my head, pressing my lips together as a fresh wave of tears flooded my eyes. My legs willed me towards the elevator and somehow my body followed.

It was almost mechanical, my actions, like the voice that spoke to me in the elevator. Once the doors closed I leaned against the cool walls hoping the cold will bring back some semblance of thought. I used the trip down to the ground floor as a way to gather myself. “Let him go, let him go,” I kept repeating to myself, like an endless mantra. I figured if I kept saying, eventually I’d believe it.

The ground floor was dead; the security guard had seemingly decided to leave the desk unattended. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I strode purposefully towards the revolving doors, repeating the three words in my head.

A sudden crash interrupted my train of thought as I nearly jumped ten feet in the air. I whipped around and saw the door that led to the set of the stairs plastered to the opposite wall, the hinges creaking slightly. Bucky emerged from the destroyed frame as he ran towards me, skidding to a stop before me. He was barely panting even though he had just launched a vibranium infused door into the next century.

“Don’t…don’t go,” he grated out, his voice so rough it sounded like sandpaper.

“What?” I managed to pull my gaze from the doorway to him. His eyes were slightly crazed, blown so wide I was worried they would pop out of his head.

“Don’t leave, please. Please…stay, stay.”

I gazed at him in shock, wondering if I was looking at the same guy as I slowly began to shake my head. “I, uh…I think I should go.”

No,” he sprung forward when I took a step back and froze in place. “Please, please. Don’t leave me. Not yet, not now. Please.”

I kept shaking my head as my legs unfroze and took two more steps back as I began to turn away from him. “I can’t, I can’t,” I repeated. I willed my voice not to break as I stumbled back, nearly tripping over my own feet. Bucky was quiet as I nearly sprinted to the revolving doors, my heart cracking against my ribcage. I almost made it, my hand outstretched to the handle when he spoke.

“I didn’t mean it.” Four words, spoken so softly but they reverberated throughout the entire room. “I…I didn’t mean, what I said. I never meant it.”

I couldn’t turn around. I couldn’t face him just yet. “Why did you say it? Why? Was it just to – to hurt me?”

“Yes.” I winced at the single word that cut through my heart. It was like the final nail in the coffin, the reminder that I didn’t matter.

“Right,” I muttered, shaking my head. “I have to go.”

“No, no wait,” Bucky began pleading behind me as I pushed the glass panel before me. The door began to turn and just as I was about to reach the exit, the door suddenly screeched to a halt and my face nearly went through the glass. I peeled my face off of the glass and whipped around to see Bucky’s metal arm holding the door back.

“Let me go,” I demanded as I slammed my shoulder against the glass. It didn’t even budge. “Goddammit Bucky, I am going to suffocate if you do not let me out.”

“I need you to listen to me.”

“By trapping me?” I nearly screeched. “God, what else do you want with me? Do you just want to hurt me some more, really destroy my self-esteem? Because honestly, I think you have done enough.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” his voice was fierce but I scoffed and nearly laughed in his face.

“How else could you possibly mean that, Bucky?” He bowed his head but didn’t say anything. He was dead quiet. I shook my head and slammed my hands against the glass. All it did was shudder. Tears pricked my eyes as my throat constricted. “Do you like seeing me like this? Is that what this is? Is this some sort of fucked up game for you?”

“What?” Bucky gasped. “God, no. It was never–”

“Then why?” I yelled, stepping three feet to the other glass panel that confined me. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because you know,” he whispered and I just gaped at me. A few moments passed as I waited for him to respond, to elaborate in some way. But he didn’t.

“Know what, Bucky? What are you talking about?”

“You just know,” he repeated, the plates in his arm rippled as he gripped the handle harder. “You…you look at me, and you know. You don’t have to ask, we don’t have to talk, I don’t have to say anything and you just know. One look at me and it’s like you just…get it and no one has ever done that before.”

I blinked at him before I raised my hands up in defense. “You know, this might just be me, but isn’t that what people want? Someone who knows the other one? I really thought that was something good in a relationship.”

“It is, it was one…it was good. But it – it terrified me. Nobody has known me like that in…decades. Steve used to, but even now he doesn’t. But you…you, who has no idea what I’ve gone through. You’ve never held a gun in your life, you just know. You understand me like no one ever has and it scares the shit out of me. Because I’m so used to saying the right thing, to acting a certain way to make sure I wasn’t noticed. But you just…God you just see right through me no matter how hard I try to keep you out.”

“So…you said all of those things…because I know you?” I stared at him in disbelief. It was ridiculous, even for Bucky. I found it so hard to believe him. Suspicion began to grow in my stomach as I narrowed my eyes at Bucky. It was then that I realized he hadn’t looked at me. Throughout his whole speech he couldn’t even look my way. “Bucky,” I prompted. “Look at me.” He ignored me and I nearly exploded. “Jesus, the least you could do is look at me. At least give me that.” Seconds ticked away before Bucky finally tore his gaze from the ground and met mine. His eyes burned with an emotion I couldn’t pinpoint, but it was something so strong it nearly knocked my breath away. “What aren’t you telling me?” I whispered. “What are you trying to tell me?”

Bucky shook his head as a small chuckle left his mouth. “This is what I mean,” he murmured, “you see right through me.”

“Then can you please explain what I’m seeing? Because it makes no sense right now.” Bucky seemed to shrink away at my voice. He carded his fingers through his hair while my gaze flickered over his body. He was wound so tight I worried he’d crumble right in front of me. “Please,” I whispered my voice softening as I took another step forward. “Tell me.”

Bucky shook his head. “I can’t…I can’t.”

“Why not? Bucky…why?”

“Because it doesn’t make sense,” he hissed. “It shouldn’t…it shouldn’t be like this.”

I stared at him in confusion, trying to piece together his vague words. “Okay, okay,” I spoke to mostly myself but I knew Bucky heard. “You don’t have to tell me, that’s okay. Just, uh, explain, yeah. Explain to me what’s going on.”

Bucky sighed and dropped his head to his chest as if he was suddenly exhausted. His broad chest expanded as he took in a deep breath and I tried not to speak. I swallowed thickly and took a step back, to give him space though really he had enough.

“I don’t know…I don’t know how.” He began and I held my breath, afraid if I breathed too loudly I’d scare him. “It’s like, everything was a blur. I was okay, I felt, I loved, I knew what happiness was, I knew guilt and sadness. But it’s like nothing ever stuck, I just kept cycling through these emotions. And I, I always thought that if I ever met the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I’d have to lay all of the cards on the table. I thought I’d have to have this great intervention with the drama and the fanfare and the tears and everything.

“But then…but then I met you. And I didn’t have to explain anything. You just looked at me and smiled. And the way you look at me, it’s like I’m all you see, y’know? And I’ve never…that’s never happened before. Even on my worst days, you never wavered. You just held me and let me be me. I never had to worry about being Bucky or James or…him. I was just who I wanted to be and you…you loved me all the same. And I saw it, how much you loved me.

“I’m not…I’m not a good person. I know I’m not, but you don’t. You refused to believe it no matter what people told you, no matter how right they were. It’s like you didn’t care and you should because I’m…I’ve done bad things. And it scares me, it scares me that you can love me so unconditionally and I can’t even give you a fraction of that because I’ve done so much, I’ve done such terrible things that loving you can hardly make up for anything. And I tried, I tried so hard to make things right with you. To try and be good for you. But you saw through that too, you saw through it all and God it scared me.

“And I knew the only way for you to see, to understand me, was for you to hate me. Only then would you let me go. And I didn’t want…I never wanted to hurt you. And I know I did, I know what I said hurt you in ways I never wanted to imagine. But you just…you saw too much. You saw too much and you knew too much and you loved so goddamn much and I can’t give you that. I can’t give you the love you deserve, I can never give you that. But you don’t…you didn’t get it. And I tried to make you see it but you…didn’t so I had…I had to make you see.”

His voice broke at the very end, a sob wrenching through his clenched teeth and my heart nearly broke in two. His breath was ragged, as if what he had just told me equaled climbing Mount Everest.

“So…” I finally spoke as my mind struggled to wrap around what he said. “You don’t love me? Is this…is this the point? I love you but you don’t love me.”

“No, God, no.” Bucky shook his head as he carded a hand roughly through his hair. “Don’t you see? I love you too much. I love you so goddamn much it hurts. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. But that doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t…it’s just, it’s not right.”

I narrowed my eyes at him as I crossed my arms. “Do you see a judge anywhere? Are we in some sort of Congressional meeting I’m not aware of? Is there a jury sitting at the security desk right now?”

He furrowed his brows. “No.”

“Awesome. Then what the fuck are you trying to prove and who the fuck are you trying to prove it to?” I glared at him as I spoke. Bucky opened his mouth but I was too angry to stop. “You know what Bucky, you’re right. You’re absolutely right. Your past is fucked up. What happened to you is so beyond fucked up I can’t understand and I most definitely never will. But it’s exactly that. You’re past. You need to move on because I’m pretty sure everyone else has.”

“But–”

“Do not interrupt me.” I jammed a finger at him and he automatically shut his mouth. “You’re so goddamn immersed in your past you’re too blind to see what’s happening right in front of you. And you’re right. I did love you. I loved you so much that sometimes I don’t even think it’s real. Some nights I stay awake just to make a list of ways to prove to you how much I loved you without ever saying it.

“But fuck you. Fuck you for deciding who I love, or how I love, or when I love. Fuck you for not letting me prove it to you and not seeing it when I tried. Fuck you for never sticking around long enough and never showing that you cared. Fuck you for breaking my heart and leaving me to pick up the pieces afterwards. Fuck you for not staying.”

I was panting by the time I finished my rant. Everything in me buzzed as the adrenaline coursed through my veins. Bucky was silent as he stared at me, unmoving. I had never yelled like that before in my life and I was positive Bucky had never seen me like this.

“I’m–”

Don’t,” I snarled. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” I shook my head and turned away from him, my stomach rolled and twisted uncomfortably. “God, I’m so mad at you. I’m so fucking mad.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”

“Good,” I shot back. It was childish but I wasn’t about to let him get the last word. But as soon as I said it I felt a wave of exhaustion rush over me and my shoulders dropped in response. With a heavy sigh I rested my head against the cool glass in search of relief but found none. “What do you want from me Barnes?” I finally whispered.

“I want a second chance.”

I scoffed under my breath. “Second chance? I gave you too many chances. You had more than one opportunity to stay. You chose not to.”

“Fine,” Bucky acquiesced. “Give me one more chance.”

“Right,” I said bitterly. “What’s going to be so different about this one? You’re going to tell me you love me and then leave? Won’t that be the icing on the fucking cake?”

“Let me prove to you that I love you. This time, for real. No more running, no more games. I swear to you I’m gonna be there this time.”

I turned my head to the side and watched the moonlight dance on the steel beams of the door. “I don’t trust you,” I admitted honestly. I could feel the walls locking in around my chest, protecting me from whatever he said.

“I know,” he repeated. “Give me a chance to win that trust back.”

“That’s two chances, Bucky. You said one.”

“A chance to win your trust and another to prove that I love you, and that you love me too.” I turned to face him, about to give him a snarky remark but the moment I saw his face my voice died. He was open, raw, vulnerable. His eyes shimmered with unfallen tears and his gaze was so intense I felt as if I was drowning. “Please.” Just one word. But it was loaded with so much sincerity and desperation I couldn’t find it in me to say no.

“Okay,” I finally relented and his face utterly transformed. A glimmer of hope shone in his eyes and he immediately stood up straight. “This is not a yes,” I immediately snapped as I glared at him. “This is just an opportunity for redemption. But we go my pace. Whatever I say goes. You so much as cross a line I swear to–”

“I know.”

“And you’re not kissing me. Or touching me. Unless I say so. I’m serious Bucky, no funny–”

“I know.”

“This does not guarantee anything either. If I’m not happy or I don’t believe you then I have every right to–”

“I know.”

I scowled angrily at him as I placed my hands on my hips. “Do you know everything?”

“No.” He shook his head. “But I know you.” I forced the scowl to stay on my lips despite the smile that threatened to shine through.

“Right, of course you do,” I grumbled.

“So,” he smiled that million dollar smile that made me weak in the knees the very first time I saw it,

Will you stay?

Attention* (Theo Raeken)

*Pairing*: Theo x Reader

*Warnings*: smut, jealousy, angst

*A/N*: I’ve had the idea for this for a while now and it’s been driving me crazy so I just had to write it!

*Theo’s POV*

3 weeks since she last text me, spoke to me, even looked at me. What more could I want other than one of Lydia’s famous parties to drown my sorrows and withdrawal symptoms this girl has given me. I’d like to think I’ve kept up my tough exterior, but even Scott has noticed that something’s different, and it’s driving me crazy because she’s got to me and no one has done that before. It’s exactly what she wanted and I’ve given it her.

*You’ve been going round, going round, going round throwing that dirt all on my name, cause you knew that I, knew that I, knew that I’d call you up.*

I could hear her in the corridors of school most days telling Lydia about how she hates my guts and she would have listened to Stiles and everyone else when they told her that I was bad news, but the skipping beats and fast pace of her heart told me she was lying every time. She was doing this on purpose, fully aware that I could hear and that I was in fact listening just to get back at me for leaving things in a rough way. Of course, every day I tried calling her and texting her as I was unable to bring myself to talk to her in person and see those gorgeous eyes staring up at me full of hurt and most likely anger too. Every call and text she ignored, and with each one the feeling of guilt inside of me grew when I realised just what I had done to this girl and how I had lost her. It might have started out as a booty call but by the end I felt more and I was scared, so I just walked out with no explanation. I can’t blame her for being angry with me and I hate that I can’t change it.

*You’ve been running round, running round, running round every party in LA, cause you knew that I, knew that I, knew that I’d be at one.*

I smiled to myself when I saw Liam and Hayden getting off, as usual, their intense young love was crazy but admirable, I knew he was a good guy. But it made me realise how.. effeminate I’d become? I see people in the street holding hands and I picture me and Y/N doing the same.

That’s when I saw her from across the room, she was in the lounge dancing with Stiles, her gorgeous body shown off perfectly in her nude glittery jumpsuit that clung to her in all the right places. Her hair was curled and was bouncing up and down in sync with her as she danced. She could never look awkward dancing, she was too perfect- where other girls were jerky and out of time her body flowed in perfect syncopation with the songs playing. I leaned against the kitchen counter, admiring as she moved but felt a pang of jealousy hit me as her and Stiles got dangerously close, their faces only centimetres away. I knew that they were best friends but this looked like more. A lot more.

*Y/N’s POV*

My best friend, Stiles, and I danced in the living room of Lydia’s lake house, him cracking jokes constantly making me curl over with laughter every time. I hadn’t noticed him watching until I saw my empty drinks cup and went to head to the kitchen, turning on my heels as he watched me, arms crossed as he leaned against the counter with a smirk on his face. He’s not getting away with it that easily.

“Dance dirty with me.” I whispered to Stiles so quietly that not even all the super hearing werewolf senses in the room put together could hear, including Theo. With that, Stiles wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my arms around his neck so our bodies were touching. Despite the close contact, I felt no sexual attraction, only appreciation at the help my best friend was giving me to get back at the boy who simultaneously ruined and enhanced my life only 3 weeks ago.

The next time I looked over at him, he had a bottle of something in his hand and his other first was clenched shut, his knuckles white.

*Theo’s POV*

*I know that dress is karma, perfume regret, got me thinking about when you were mine*

I still couldn’t get over her perfect outfit choice, and if she was still the same girl I used to know, I’d be smart enough to know that it was karma for what I did, teasing me completely, but this time I knew that she would never give in. I tried to get some chemosignals from her, but her usual perfume of the emotion of regret that I sensed every time she passed me wasn’t there any more, I was getting lust and confusion. The confusion might have been me though. My hand clenched the edge of the table as my knuckles turned white, so I grabbed the bottle of drink from behind me and attempted to forget her, but to no avail the alcohol had no effect on me, being a werewolf and all. She detatched herself from Stiles, leaving him to talk to Lydia and Scott as she made her way over, pulling the bottle out of my hands to fill up her own cup.

“I can see you staring. You’re not being very subtle.” She said proudly, refusing to make eye contact with me. My eyes burned holes in her as she looked everywhere but me. Cautiously, I lifted my hand to gently turn her face towards mine and she obliged, finally looking me in the eye.

“I wasn’t trying to be subtle. You look breathtakingly beautiful and it’s killing me, Y/N. you have to believe me when I say I’m sorry.” I said sadly, my eyes conveying the regret I felt in a hope that she would notice. She took a long swig of her drink and turned around to sit on the countertop next to me, our shoulders touching.

“You just left, Theo? You walked out with no explanation, just as I thought we were progressing past being just fuck buddies, but I guess that was too much for you to handle of course. Do you even have a heart? Because if you did then you sure wouldn’t have just left me to stand alone, feeling so isolated in my own bedroom Theo!” A tear spilled from her eye but she quickly wiped it away and looked at her reflection in the glass cabinet opposite to regain her composure. “I-it doesn’t matter anyway, I’m over it!” She lied to keep up her act of making me jealous. The noise of the party grew as a new wave of freshmen arrived, making Y/N’s last words barely audible, even with super hearing abilities.

“Let me talk to you outside, it’s too loud in here. Please, Y/N.” I pleaded, pushing myself off of the counter to leave for the pool outside which was off limits. She deliberated for a while, but eventually she persuaded herself to stand too and follow me outside.

I sat on the bench next to the pool and she joined me, a generous distance away from me, further confirming her hurt and hatred for me.

“I don’t hate you, Theo? I just hate what you did and how you treated me.” She said quietly as she shivered, so I shuffled closer and snaked my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into me to warm her up. “Thanks” she whispered, causing me to smile.

“I want to make it up to you. I want it to be me you dance with and wake up next to and kiss at school, no one else! When I started developing feelings I got scared because you’re way out of my league and I thought you’d never feel the same way back, so I walked out and cut you off before I could fall completely. Little did I know that that would happen anyway, because even when we didn’t speak I still loved you, I just couldn’t bring myself to say it to your face so I thoughts texts and calls would be the easiest way to get you to listen to me. I’m sorry, Y/N.” I placed a kiss to the top of her head, but then I felt her move underneath me until she was sat looking straight at me, her eyes scanning mine. She moved forwards and crashed her lips onto mine, the passion 10 times more strong than I could remember and I felt her hands burn my skin when she moved them under my t shirt, scraping her nails back down my abs, leaving marks and driving me insane. I pulled her onto my lap and ran my hands over her body, taking in its beauty once again before she stood up and lead me through the house to my car, making sure to avoid Stiles, Lydia and Scott on the way out.

She hopped into my car when I opened it and ordered me to drive to lookout point which was only 5 minutes away. She stared at me the whole way, her eyes raking up and down my body that she hasn’t had so close to her for 3 weeks. I pulled up and she hopped onto the back of the pickup where I joined her, resuming our position of her straddling me and my back against the back window. She threaded her hands into my overgrown hair and tugged as I bit her lip when we kissed and swirled my tongue around hers the way she told me she loved me to do it before. Her hands pulled the hem of my t shirt and I took it off, my chest exposed and she ran her hands over it, feeling the definition of my ab, her touch like fire, driving me crazy to do the same to her. So I did. I found the zip of her jumpsuit and she moved off me to take it off, the cold hitting her so I lay above her, radiating my body heat onto her as I placed wet kisses down her body, pausing to suck on each nipple slowly, drawing moans from her throat that made me harder and harder each time. I kissed the inside of her thighs and drew circles with my fingers, teasing her as I slowly licked her folds and paid special attention to her clit, sucking it harshly as her body convulsed below me, causing me to lift my hand and push her hips down while she continued to struggle beneath me. My tongue entered her and I swirled it repeatedly, her sweet taste lingering in my mouth, making groans rise from my mouth and send vibrations through her body. I slipped a finger in as I sucked her clit again, curling it inside of her over and over again, her walls clenching around me even more when I added another finger.

“I-I’m gonna cum, Theo please!” She whimpered, her voice like music to my ears and I pumped my fingers harder and faster until she released around me and I licked everything up and sucked my fingers clean, much to her approval. “Now what?” She asked with a smirk on her face, her breathing erratic and heavy as she came down from her high. Her first high.

“Well I said I would make it up to you didn’t I? I’m not done yet.” I smirked back, her eyes rolling backwards in anticipation of what was to come

Madeleine

Title: Madeleine

Rating: PG

Timeline: Home Again

Category: MSR

Summary:For the anon who asked: Since you mentioned it, Drabble of Mulder finding Scully’s Darkness Falls jacket while they are in an established relationship?

Author’s Note: These went in a different direction then I had planned, but these things so often do. The title was inspired by Proust’s “madeleine moment.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

It seemed popular with kd blogs. So. What are your top 13 kd moments..i cant be satisfied with only 5 :( That was why i asked 13 because 13 is kd number for me. Can you also explain why did you choose those? I know its hard since youve been

2. Following them since 2012.

Hey anon,

Wow 13 is a lot :o But since I haven’t done KD spam for quite a while, this is the right moment to do one! And it’s indeed hard to choose only 13 out of so many precious KD’s moments u.u

So, let’s begin!

[[Do keep in mind that body languages can convey more than one meaning. However, to interpret a person behaviour depends on the situation. I don’t claim all of my analysis as facts. It’s an analysis from one pov - my pov.  If you have something to say or a different opinion than mine, please be constructive. I can’t help you unless you help yourself first :)]]


1. I found this very interesting because JI was staring at KS when KS wasn’t even talking. This leads to my conclusion that this was an act from JI’s subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind mostly consists of implicit memory - things you do spontaneously or automatically. The act of staring at KS already registered into JI’s mind that it becomes a habit for him OR KS became his subject of interest that his eyes tend to gravitate towards him. A guy tends to maintain his eye contact at the person they attracted to.

KS’s reaction was even more interesting. He was blinking his eyes twice consecutively. Then, he swallowed followed by his eyes moving downwards. Rapid eyes blinking is a sign of nervous or under pressure while gulping is a sign of stress or embarrassment. The movement of his eyes downwards in this situation could be a sign of submission.

Please don’t get be wrong. I don’t mean being submissive in that way. JI’s gaze was dominant which got KS nervous and embarrassed. It’s a natural reaction or stimuli when you got flustered. Your first response is lowered your gaze because you’re at your vulnerable state. It’s like telling the other person ‘please stop looking at me because I can’t look back at you’.

If you noticed, JI also blinked his eyes after KS did. He was mirroring KS. It also happened unconsciously. Mirroring could mean similarity or likeness.

So many things happened in just one gif…. or am I just looking things into deep? But that’s the thing about humans. They think they can hide with their words but their movements betrayed them. I believe that the more person moves, the more their body tell us. The more it appears implicit, the more truth in it.


2. This is a part of the gif set where JI tried to get KS’s attention but he got ignored. I like this moment because JI used his upper body to express his displeasures. He moved his body away from facing KS, turning his head around, patting his hand on his chest to calm himself down (internal emotions debate) and his mouth was moving that doesn’t form any words. The movement of mouth could indicate that he was thinking to say something. The words were already in his mind but he wasn’t planning to say it out loud. However, his mouth moved along with his thoughts.

This moment is cute because angry JI is cute. Lol.


3. The first time I saw this gif set was only the 2nd and the 3rd one. Then, I watched the video. I was shocked when JI called KS in that manner when KS was obviously older than him. JI was showing his dominance when his body leaned to the back, creating a space in front of him; meaning he’s not afraid if you’re near him. The slight nod of his head also a sign of power/dominance in that situation.

Don’t get me wrong what I meant by dominance in this context. You have to understand that dominance doesn’t imply one is more dominant than the other. It’s more like showing during this situation, I’m more confident than you are.

Then, the neck grabbing. According to study, besides the private region for an obvious reason, nape of the neck is the 3rd intimate/sensitive part to touch for men. The neck itself is a sensitive area for all humans.

Both of them extended their hands to reach out for the other person - JI for KS’s neck and KS for JI’s waist. This an act of welcoming the person, offering or seeking affection. It’s like the opposite of crossing your arms.

This moment really warms my heart. It shows that despite the fact that they are not the same age, they actually treat each other like they are the same age when SK really emphasize to treat the older appropriately.


4. According to expertise, head is a very personal area that only reserved for close relatives and intimate partners to touch. Head touching is a sign that you trust the other person and you shared a strong bond with them. It can be between friends too!

It’s like when your father, mother or friend patted your head. Usually, you don’t do it to people that are older than you. You don’t do it to your father or mother out of respect. I mean like, I don’t do it to them but I like it when my mom caressed my head. It also happens between athletes. When they scored, they touched each other head. But that’s in a different environment because it becomes a habit and a normal practice for them.

However, I find JI touching KS’s head very special because I repeat, KS is older than JI. They must share a very deep bond for KS to allow JI to touch his head.


5. I love the smile on KS’s face and the way they don’t look at each other when their hands touched. IMO, KS seems like he was trying to hide his smile when he pressed his lips together. His face muscles reacted unconsciously to smile but then he tried to hide it which resulted in a stiff looking expression - not natural.

But KD has always been subtlely obvious anyway. lol.


6. The famous jagi moment. Never forget guys!!


7. A person might see this picture and go aww. But whenever I see this picture I’ll be like they’re in love. This picture speaks louder than those KD shippers’ haters. Sorry, not sorry.

Anyway, last year, I read articles about how a picture can define a couple/two people relationship. It states that when two people body curves toward each other, forming a circle or even love, it shows that their relationship is good and intimate. When I saw that picture, it reminded me of the articles I read.

It’s like when you were taking a family picture and your parents just gravitated their upper body inwards to face each other. Even in a random picture of your friends and his/her partner, you can see how their bodies just move inwards - the gravitation is strong. You can never deny the pull of your body. Your body knows you more than you think you know yourself.

I find this picture very intimate. I believe if we look at the moment from the front, their heads probably formed a heart <3


8. I find this moment very intimate. JI’s nose touching KS’s ear is one thing but look at how their bodies moved inwards/towards each other. At the 2nd and last gif, even tho JI already leaned in so close, KS still turned his body around to get closer, it’s like close is not close enough to him.

In the 2nd gif as well, both of their hands moved towards each other and touched. Their hands actually remained in that position instead of pulling away.

The fact they kept on moving from just staying in one position really amplifies the pull of their body towards each other. It’s like you’re sitting next to your partner. It’s close but to you it’s not close enough.


9. I think in this moment, it was very unnecessary for KS to hold JI’s hand like that. You can see KS actually jerked JI’s hands towards his direction from the way he pulled his elbow and the slight halt of JI’s body before he turned around to face KS.

It’s like ‘babe you’re not going anywhere without me’. haha.


10. This random touches never fail to warm my heart.  It could be accidental or otherwise. But the way JI slides his arm downwards is a sign of intimacy because it lingers more than necessary. Intimacy can define between family, friends or partner.

However, look at the way KS moved his eyes. I remember reading a text about eyes movement. It states that when your eyes move from one side to the other side once, it means you’re being aware of the surrounding. You wanted to appear subtle and not suspicious. The verbal meaning is ‘I hope no one saw that’.

Anyway, as I was saying, KS’s eyes moved from one side to the other side right after JI touched his shoulder. You can see how his eyes paused at a certain point before he moved to the other point. He subconsciously observing the surrounding.

We also have caught KS looking around a few times when JI initiated skinship. Why are you being so suspicious KS? Is there something you’re hiding from us? ehem.


11. The famous pepero CF. I love this moment too. The part where JI doesn’t mind when his fingers touched KS’s lips. He even pressed it close to KS’s lips and look at the way JI smiled and munched. He might be eating pepero too but he only moved his lips after KS moved his lips too. Another gesture of mirroring.


12. The loving stares JI sent to KS. His eyes just screamed love. The way he tilted his head while watching KS talking. When a person exposed their neck it means they are not threatened by the other person or feels comfortable. It’s the opposite of touching/covering your neck which is a sign of nervous or timid. The area of the neck is very sensitive. During that moment, JI seems to be very comfortable and relax. It means that KS makes him feel comfortable.

The way KS turned his head and looked at JI while laughing then JI laughed too is so endearing to watch. KS gravitated towards JI, turning his head while laughing because he was seeking for that similarity/like-ness. ‘Do you find this funny too?’. JI mirrored KS again, laughing. If you pay attention to the 5th gif, after KS turned his head towards JI then faced the front again, he stopped laughing. Then, he laughed again after JI laughed.

JI also slide his hand across KS’s back (unnecessary touches) and caressing it. I really like this moment a lot. JI barely do anything but his eyes spoke volume.


A video posted by @alvabear94 on Jul 7, 2016 at 2:15am PDT

13. Who doesn’t love this moment? How they can just relate to each other with just one gesture and it straight away reminded KS of the subject JI talked about. The way they laughed together like a domino effect. It was said that a couple that laughed together a lot has a higher quality relationship. Laughing together shows that you share a strong or deep bond with someone. It can be between family and friends too.

Look at how in sync their body were. Laughing –> body fell forward –> looking at each other –> reaching their hands –> sat straight. It was like JI was mirroring KS.

And La_y’s reaction is fun to watch as well. I never see him so obvious like this before. He always had that neutral face (no changes. just one expression throughout one moment). La_y touched his chin. Touching/stroking your chin is a sign that someone is thinking hard OR judging/evaluating something. He also moved his head to face KS then JI before he touched his chin. It indicates he was actually thinking/judging them.

Then, his head and body were more dominant on his right side. He moved his head from right, downwards to the right. The right side is the constructive side. It’s a sign that he was having internal thoughts/emotions. Like he was thinking of something.

I just love how genuine this moment was.


Well that’s my top 13 I guess.

Anyway, KD is real ;)

Keep calm and support KD. Take care anon!

Originally posted by huang-shit-tao

gifs/pictures/video credited to their respective owner!

Ninette Day 7 AU

From this prompt list.

“We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU


Marinette stared down at her phone, thumb hovering over her best friend’s picture as another quiet sniffle filled the quiet night air. Alya had promised she could always call after a bad day, but she also knew Alya wasn’t sleeping much as it was and a call at 3:00 might not be best for her best friend’s health.

So, she turned off her phone and tossed it onto her rug. Alya deserved at least one decent night of sleep, and Marinette reasoned that she’d probably feel better in the morning anyway. She swiped away at the tears trickling down her cheek and took a shaky breath. All she needed to do was calm down enough to sleep.

The bass of her neighbor’s music trickled through the thin walls, covering up her hiccuping sobs. She buried her face in her hands and tried to distract herself by thinking of something else. Anything else. Anything but her exceptionally bad, somewhat soul-crushing day.

She hardly noticed when the sound behind her stopped, so her neighbor’s voice through the wall caught her by surprise.

“Hey, are you okay?”

She nodded. “Um, yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You sound kind of upset.”

“A little, but it’s nothing.”

She could hear his footsteps creak closer and then something, probably his back, slid down the wall. “Well, wanna talk about it?”

“No, I’ll be fine. Just-”

“Seriously. I’m gonna be up for a while.”

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NEMFROG REPORT 2

Week ending September 30, 2017

Ariel, sprite of all of sprites, lies on a bat’s back, quite at ease with this rarely used mode of travel in an illustration of a line from the Tempest. It appears in an 1870 edition of Shakespeare’s plays and this week, Tumblr made it the most popular new post on Nemfrog. I’ve found that I can productively seek out illustrations from Shakespeare because so many editions of his work exist that many versions of the same scene or line can be found and compared. I’ll be doing more of this and we’ll see what it yields.


This might look like a straightforward, almost hyperrealist drawing of reflected moonlight but there’s more to it. The illustration comes from a novelty book called The Motograph moving picture book which in the days before plastic came with a transparent piece of talc. The viewer, or in this case really, the player, moves the transparent block slowly back and forth over images in the book to animate them. Here, I imagine, the waves break, the light sparkles. Even without the device, the image became the second most popular new post on Nemfrog this week. If ever there was a gif waiting to be made…


This week Nemfrog visitors learned that snakes do not milk cows. Close followers will not have been surprised by the news because I published this post in early summer. But who can get enough of the bird hypnotized by snake and snake leaping out of the cactus at the stunned boy, used to illustrate examples of what snakes do not do? We can’t, and a news surge of clicks made this one of the most reblogged on Nemfrog this week.


Close followers may also have noticed that I’ve returned to a book I first posted months ago.  I find the simple illustrations by Bunji Tagawa full of charm, precision and humor. They show how much didactic illustration can do the job of teaching while pleasing those who encounter it. 

In other news. The donate button has been taken down from the page, mostly because it’s not possible to make it work on the mobile version and it clutters the page design while conveying a confusing message. The fund drive ended a couple of weeks ago but I still welcome your support. If you want to sponsor what I do here in a small (or big) way and you use PayPal, the email address nemfrognation@gmail.com will get your gift to me.

I enjoy the long descriptions that people have of their Tumblrs. Genders, psychological status, clashing or focused interests, careers and obsessions - it’s all very welcome and interesting. But I went for a minimal approach. At first my description just said, “Nemfrog.” So when you found me you saw Nemfrog described as Nemfrog. I was conveying a succinct message of mystery.

After a while I wrote a playful description: “1911′s Blogger of the Year.” This was a joke, of course, but one that underlined my interest in decades long gone. I don’t think a lot of people noticed that every now and then I would change the date. “1953′s Blogger of the Year.” “I898′s Blogger of the Year.” If nothing else, it looks good on my resumé.

This week I changed the description twice. Watch out, it may happen again. 

Anyway, that’s my story. Have a great week!

Please, if you want to reblog any of these images separately, do it by reposting it from the links I’ve provided. The links are bolded and underlined to make it easy.

Time for a story - Meaningful names

A thrill of anticipation took hold of her when Felicity unlocked the front door and stepped into her house. With bated breath, she waited for the sounds of pattering children’s feet and squeals of happiness to welcome her home after her first day at home. She responded to the nonappearance of the desired reaction with a slightly disappointed sigh. After months of being with the kids almost every hour of every day, she had hoped they had missed her a little more, at least enough to properly welcome her at the door now that she was home again.

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Eggplants and Peaches [Gaston x Lefou]

Description: The domestic Gafou sexting au you never knew you needed!

Warnings: None really, just Gaston bein a super thirsty fuckboy and Lefou having absolutely none of it at work ft. Belle and Adam’s Unfortunate Interference™ . Enjoy😘  


Lefou was in a meeting, and his phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. It must be Gaston- his boyfriend craved attention, even when he knew Lefou was busy. 

Checking his phone, he squinted. Were those… emojis?

From: Gastt

Feeling a little *fire emoji*

Lefou frowned, scrunching up his nose as he reread it. Then another one came buzzing in.

From: Gastt

What I meant by that was, my *eggplant emoji* is feeling extremely *fire emoji* *fire emoji*

“Subtlety is not his strong suit,” Lefou muttered under his breath, and typed out a response.

From: Lefou

That’s nice

He waited for the inevitable response, which came a minute later.

From: Gastt

What, you wouldn’t like my *eggplant emoji* in your *peach emoji*? Or my *muscle flex emoji*? because I’m fairly sure you would *heart emoji* it

Lefou shifted in his seat, trying not to smile.

From: Lefou

That’s beside the point, I’m in a meeting

From: Gastt

Oh lovely, you’re not busy then

Picture this, Lefou: tonight when you get home, my latest *steak emoji* roasting over our *fire emoji*, you rubbing my *feet emoji* and maybe rubbing my *eggplant emoji* too.

Lefou hated himself for being turned on by his boyfriend’s stupid fucking emoji sexting.

From: Lefou

Stoppit, I can’t get hard in my meeting, my boss will literally *knife emoji* me if she sees

From: Gastt

Belle likes you, don’t worry about it

Anyway, as I was saying- I’m going to make you *explosion emoji* harder than you’ve ever *explosion emoji* before from the sound of my voice alone, as you *hand emoji* my *eggplant emoji*

“So many eggplants,” Lefou shook his head, and Belle looked over from where she was giving a presentation on how to better market their company’s latest addition to children’s literature.

“Pardon?”

“I said…” Lefou stammered, looking up, “We should definitely have more eggplants in there. Children love talking vegetables.”

“Lefou, I value your opinion greatly,” the petite brunette woman said softly, “But this is a book about a soccer ball.”

“Ah,” Lefou nodded, “Point taken, back to the drawing board for me.”

Belle seemed to find this amusing, and as she turned back to the plans in front of the group, Lefou sucked in a breath. Two new messages.

From: Gastt

Unless you don’t wish to *hand emoji* my *eggplant emoji*

Which I would be very sad about

From: Lefou

And I thought I was the needy one

From: Gastt

You are, once I have you on all fours and I’m *number 9 emoji* inches deep in you.

Lefou crossed his legs, suppressing a whine. He was going to murder Gaston in cold blood when he got home for this.

From: Gastt

Lefou answer me or no *water droplets emoji* tonight

From: Lefou

We’ve fucked consecutively for the past fourteen days, I think I can manage a night without your dick

From: Gastt

I’m shocked and offended *puffing angry face emoji*

Lefou didn’t respond.

From: Gastt

Fine, I’m going to hide your favourite sweater vest. The magenta one you look especially dapper in, you know the one.

I’m hiding it as I type this

From: Lefou

You monster

From: Gastt

*suit emoji* in the *street sign emoji*, *monster emoji* in the *bed emoji*

From: Lefou

I only sort of know what you’re trying to convey there…

Lefou let out a quiet groan as he shut his screen off and dropped his phone on the table, and Belle passed out sample leaflets with Adam, who had been sitting beside Lefou. Gaston could use his *hand emoji* all he wanted while he waited for Lefou to get home.

About ten minutes later, just as the meeting wrapped up, Lefou grabbed the phone off the table, and left as quickly as he could. Adam, Belle, Plumette, and everyone else did the same.

Gaston called, and was just finishing himself off as the call was answered- this would have turned Lefou on beyond belief, if it had been Lefou who answered it.

The short man frowned down at the unfamiliar lock screen as he opened the phone in his hand, and saw a picture of a huge wintery garden… not his background.

Shit, had he picked up the wrong phone in place of…

Then Adam walked out of the meeting room behind him, eyes wide with trauma.

“Mr. Lefou,” he said solemnly, unable to look him in the eye, “I believe your boyfriend wishes to speak with you.”

Lefou blushed deeply, and the blonde man snatched his own phone back as fast as he could before rushing off into Belle’s arms to recover. Lefou looked down at his lock screen photo of the shirtless selfie Gaston had taken of himself with Lefou’s phone making a kissy face, and put the device to his ear.  

“Ready for my eggplant?” Gaston asked smugly over the line with a few husky, laboured breaths, and Lefou immediately guessed what just transpired. He wiped his fingers over his face, and nodded.

“I am so ready for your eggplant.”

olga-eulalia  asked:

Tell me a lame joke/bad pickup line, please! ([whispers] Or make a character tell them to another)

Holy mother of god, SHE’S ALIVE! After months in the wilderness (my room) without a shred of fic writing motivation I return with a ridiculous offering. Sorry for the long wait.

A few things you should all know about this fic: 1. It’s really, really stupid. 2. It’s set some vague time post-series, but the details don’t really matter. 3. I’ve never been to North Africa OR the Caribbean, so if I’m wrong about what either place is like then blame google or just assume Silver’s a lying turd. 4. Yes, this is my sense of humour in a nutshell. And 5. I know I’m not as funny as I like to think I am. Fair warning. 


“Did I ever tell you about the time I stumbled upon a very strange marketplace when I was lost in the desert near Tripoli?”

Silver adjusted his crutch where it stood propped against the arm of his chair and then lounged backwards, his leg outstretched beneath the table and his half full mug of ale resting against his stomach, rising and falling slowly with his breathing.

“No,” Flint said, pulling his gaze away from where it was roving across the faces of the less than respectable clientele of the tavern and settling it instead on Silver. “Was that before or after Nassau?”

“Oh, before. Long before,” Silver replied.

His eyes were bright and mischievous, and Flint knew that there would be no escaping whatever manner of tale it was that he was about to recount, no doubt in wildly vivid detail and baring only a passing resemblance to the truth. Not that Flint wanted to escape the storytelling. The rumbling roll of Silver’s voice always washed over him like a lulling tide, familiar and settling and warm. Flint could almost taste the salt on his lips again whenever Silver spoke.

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If Percy had fallen into Tartarus on his own headcannon

Okay so basically I saw this thing on Instagram and it was a screenshot of a tumblr post about how Percy would have turned out if he fell to Tartarus on his own.  here’s my little addition to it. The initial post will be at the end (i suggest reading it first)

imagine everyone at CHB and CJ fearing Percy, even though they still respect him a little something has changed drastically and the campers don’t know what to do.  After a few months the older kids from CHB starting to think he’ll be a repeat of Luke but worse. All the older kids quietly discussing things from the past and how they’re worried for everyone’s safety when a younger kid/ someone from Camp Jupiter hears them and starts to ask questions. They all look at the table in shame and fear as they vaguely explain to them what happened which only instills more fear. None of them know but one of the seven overhears them and loses it (I feel like it would be Nico or Annabeth) on them because “Percy isn’t like Luke” and “he’s been through so much more than anyone will ever be able to imagine.” 

Unfortunately that doesn’t keep people from whispering when no who supports Percy is around to hear. They still talk and there’s nothing anyone can do because whenever the seven try to figure out who started the rumors the other campers cover for each other. 

Chiron tries his hardest to get through to Percy and to help him but every attempt moves Percy farther away. Percy can’t even think about his time in Tartarus without having to sit down away from people to calm down. So Chiron just settles for the tiniest snippets that he gets sometimes (most of the time its just a change in body language or Percy mumbling something when he’s not paying attention) and stays behind Percy like a wall to protect him from the cruelty of the campers and any of the gods that question him. 

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It’s Hard Enough - Cooper!Reader X Jughead Jones - Part 3

I’m obsessed with It’s Hard Enough! I was think you should do a part 3 where like in the episode Jughead gets in a fight with Reggie and reader somehow gets involved…And Alice Cooper is not a fan of their relationship?

I love it’s hard enough, could you possibly make a part 3? :3

If you’re new to the series : Part One , Part Two . I kinda took this part in my own way, I hope you like it!

Originally posted by aestheticsprouse

It had been around a week since you shared your first kiss with Jughead Jones and things were going quite well. Betty convinced Jughead to join the school newspaper team, which gave you time to hang out together. Luckily for you, Betty was far too immersed in the Jason Blossom case to notice the stolen glances between you and Jughead. You found yourself spending your time after school in the newsroom, helping Betty sort out papers while simultaneously spending time with your boyfriend. Just thinking of the word, and Jughead, made you feel giddy.

“I don’t think I’ve seen Y/N smile like that in a long time,” Betty teased as you were busy sorting through pictures for the Blue & Gold. You glanced up at your sister, then at Jughead who was staring at you softly. Your felt a blush warm on your cheeks under his gaze and he smiled.

“Don’t you have a murder board to build?” You asked in order to change the subject, get the attention off of yourself. Betty smiled playfully and turned back to Jughead. They started talking quietly about the case, never loud enough for you to hear. You didn’t understand why exactly they tried to hide it from you. You were only a year younger than the two of them. Jughead explained himself one night at the diner. He had said he likes to “keep his work away from his personal life. It makes things less messy.” It was a very cold, business man-like answer that had caught you off guard. The conversation had grown quiet after that, until Jughead spoke up once more.

“It’s a way of keeping you safe,” he had murmured, looking around the diner to see if anyone from school was there. When he realized no one was, he had reached his hand across the table, grabbing yours and gave it a squeeze. You smiled at the memory, the feeling of the skin of his hand against yours.

“I just don’t know Juggie,” Betty said, breaking you from your thoughts. “I think the mystery behind my little sister’s smile is slightly more intriguing to me.” You looked up from the images and saw Betty looking at you again. You could feel Jughead’s eyes on you as you straightened your back to face your sister.

“I’m just happy to be helping you two out. It gets me out of the house, and you’re more than willing to share your friends with me.” You gestured to Jughead who smiled proudly at you. Betty nodded and walked over to you, hugging you tightly.

“I’m glad you’re happy Y/N,” Betty whispered, “with everything going on, Polly, you deserve to be happy.” You wrapped your arms tightly around your sister, returning her hug. From over her shoulder, you noticed Jughead smiling softly at the two of you. You offered a smile to him, hoping that your eyes could convey your thankful message.

“Alright,” Betty said as she pulled away from your embrace. “I gave cheer practice, so you two can either head home or keep working.” Betty walked to her bags and you looked up at Jughead once more. His light eyes were bright and he nodded quickly. You returned his gesture.

“I think I’ll stay and help out Jughead,” you said and Betty smiled as she picked up her bags from cheerleading practice.

“Okay, good luck you two.” With that, your sister walked out the door to the newsroom and left you and Jughead in a brief silence. When the sound of Betty’s footsteps faded down the hall, Jughead darted towards you. His hands grabbed yours, squeezing them gently. You looked down at your joined hands, wondering how on Earth it was humanly possible for someone’s ands to be as cold as his. You looked back up at him, meeting his gaze. You smiled when you noticed how his gaze flickered from your eyes, to your lips and then back again. You leaned up on your tippy toes, pressing a small peck to his lips. You smiled into the soft kiss, and giggled slightly when his chilled hand tickled the sensitive skin of your neck.

“Sorry,” you murmured, “your hands are freezing.” He let out a breathy chuckle, causing you to grin. Your faces remained a mere inches apart as you smiled sickeningly sweet smiles at each other.

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Oscar Party Lulls Phil To Sleep & Makes Dan Shout | Phan Tweet Dabble

Summary: Having an Oscar Party with friends was tradition for Dan and Phil. Phil would fall asleep, which Dan would tease him about, and Dan would get so invested in the outcome and potentially need Phil to calm him down.

Word count: 1k

Genre: Domestic fluff

Warnings: Like one “swear” word

Read more from the collection of tweet-based Phan dabbles here

Based on the following two tweets:

Also available on AO3

27th of February 2017

Oscars night with friends both managed to be predictable and utterly outrageous.

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Closer

Pairing: Credence Barebone x Reader

Word Count: 1567

Warnings: smut, A LOT of fluff

A/n: My first credence fic! Hopefully I did his character justice

Originally posted by mybohemiansoul


“Can you talk to him? Please (y/n), I’m begging you.” Newt pleaded with you as you looked over to the trembling Credence, who had backed himself into the corner of Newt’s case after a rough encounter with a Murtlap. You sighed, eyes struggling to move away from the hunched over figure back to the freckled Magizoologist.

“No need to ask Newt, you know I would’ve done it anyway.” You gave the stressed man a gentle squeeze on his arm then turned to the frightened boy.

Newt had decided to add Credence to his list of side projects. After he had found him to still be alive after the instances in New York, he had vowed to look after Credence, for as long as it would take to nurse him to a comfortable and confident state. You had shortly joined Newt in his cause after meeting the timid boy, seeing as how he was the same age as you and took a liking to your caring nature.

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