not talking hockey

Tonight I was working in the penalty box at my brother’s hockey game when one of the guys from the opposing team got a tripping penalty. So, as my job requires I have to get his jersey number so I can record it and put it up on the score board with his penalty. I asked him for his number and…well…he gave it to me. His phone number

Poor kid went beet red after I explained I meant his jersey number, not his phone number. I talked to him after the game to make sure he was all good and such, and he said, oh my god, “keep the number, just in case you’re ever looking for anything besides a jersey number.”

Smooth as fuck.

auston: *has a pretty sick goal*
mitch: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

can we please get rid of the idea that you have to play hockey in order to know the game because that’d be nice

6

Patrick Kane talks about Jonathan Toews and the circus trip (x)

plus bonus tongue:

Hi There

I need more hockey blogs to follow and I wanna try to make some friends on here since I don’t have really anyone to talk with hockey about so
Reblog if you like:
- NY Rangers
- Toronto Maple Leafs
- Dallas Stars
- Edmonton Oilers
- Tampa Bay Lightning
- Or hockey in general
If you reblog I’ll check out your account and hopefully give you a follow!
If you already follow me I would appreciate you reblogging this to spread the word to other hockey blogs, but you do not have to.

SMH as things I don't remember doing at a party last night
  • Shitty: spends about an hour and a half discussing dick science (i.e. bouyancy)
  • Jack: absent mindedly strokes a friend's hair
  • Ransom: [rubbing his foot on the fireplace] "will tater love me now?"
  • Holster: says "bip bip bip" on every stair he goes up/down
  • Lardo: [changes into short shorts, sits with her legs wide open] "I feel safe"
  • Bitty: "if you get the chance to stick your dick in sidney crosby, /you stick your dick in sidney crosby/"
  • Nursey: [holding up a pizza cutter] "this circle cuts other circles into triangles"
  • Dex: hands nursey a large decorative spider, says "he's soft" and then lays on the ground
  • Chowder: [laying on the floor crying] "dex if I die tell the sharks I love them"
  • Tango: "I think I just blacked out. I closed my eyes for a second and then I opened them" (a friend, sighing) "you blinked"
  • Whiskey: [playing strip truth or dare] to tango: [waves hand dismissively] "dare, you know my limits"
  • Kent: [points to the glittery decorative skull resting on his head] "I sucked a dick with this mouth"