not tagging everyone because i'm lazy

-cough- My mind interpreted this question as, “Please torture Kunikida some more.” Also, I could completely picture this scenario in my head, but getting it down in words was a bit of a struggle. Still, I hope you like it! ^-^

Another note: Obviously, to make everything understandable, the songs they sing are in English. I hope my references aren’t too lame. I’m not exactly the funniest person on Earth. T^T

Kunikida Doppo is in hell.

It’s not what he imagined hell would look like, sure, but it’s definitely just as scary. The one person that could have saved him is sitting to his right, and Kunikida wonders why he had let this outing happen. Kunikida shifts his eyes to the birthday boy next to him and clears his throat.

“With all due respect,” he says, trying to pick his words carefully. “Why are we in a karaoke room? I would not have thought that you were one for such loud parties.”

Fukuzawa quietly takes a sip of his tea before answering, “Ranpo. Kyouka.” He doesn’t elaborate any further, as if that’s enough of an explanation. The tea in his hands is brought to his lips for another sip, signalling the end of the conversation. Kunikida smothers a sigh and turns his attention to his unruly subordinates.

“I’M KING,” Ranpo declares loudly, taking perch on the nicest couch in the room. “You guys have to listen to whatever I say.” This cannot end well, so Kunikida does his part and tries to interject.

“That’s not how the game works,” he tries to explain. “We’re all supposed to draw straws, and the one with the longest straw is the king. In fact, the king should change every round.”

He may as well have been talking to thin air, because Ranpo is already flipping through the song menu. Kunikida smothers a sigh and decides not to interfere. If he stays quiet, perhaps humiliation can be avoided.

The first round of songs begins, and everything goes wrong immediately. After a moment of thought, Ranpo declares his first victim and his choice of music.

“Yosano. “It’s Raining Men.””

Hearing the lyrics come out of the doctor’s mouth is terrifying, Kunikida thinks. He doesn’t know whether it’s the smile on Yosano’s face, her voice, or the glint in her eyes, but for the first time ever, the song induces images of male bodies littering the floor in Kunikida’s head. He pales, and tries to remind himself that it’s a song celebrating love and relationships of some sort. He breathes a sigh of relief when the song ends.

“Tanizaki, Naomi. “A Whole New World.””

Halfway through the song, Kunikida and Atsushi jump out of their seats to cover Kyouka and Kenji’s eyes and ears. “Aladdin” is ruined forever. 

Apparently, Ranpo is slightly shaken by the performance of the Tanizaki siblings as well, and tries to restore some semblance of decency and innocence to the room by choosing the two youngest members of the Agency to go next.

“Kenji, Kyouka. “You are my Sunshine.””

The performance is a delight, in the sense that nobody feels the need to stop the music or plug their ears.

It’s near the end of this performance that Kunikida suddenly comes to a heart-stopping realization. He breaks into a cold sweat. The only people yet to be chosen are himself, Atsushi, and Dazai. A plan is needed in order to avoid death by musical humiliation.

What could he do? If he tells everyone that the ideal says that singing is bad for his health, would anyone believe him? Would anyone care?

The camaraderie in this team is terrible, Kunikida suddenly laments. More often than not, it seems as if his coworkers at the Agency try to induce a heart attack in him on purpose.

“Atsushi.”

Kunikida snaps out of his inner dialogue for a few seconds in order to hear the fate of the tiger cub.

“Gangnam Style,” Ranpo declares. He’s always had something against Atsushi, Kunikida thinks. “With the dance moves.”

Kunikida watches the poor boy with all the world’s sympathy in his heart until Dazai pokes him in the arm. “Hey,” his partner whispers. “You should join. You’re a very good dancer. I still have pictures from your Just Dance incident…”

Kunikida almost chokes, and gives Dazai a well-deserved whack in the head. Screw camaraderie, he thinks, ignoring Atsushi, who has his eyes turned to him, begging for help. He absolutely has to get himself out of singing before he can rescue anyone else. His eyes fall on his notebook.

Budgets! He can do company budgets. Maybe Ranpo will leave him alone then. He gets started, flipping to a brand new page and calculating how much today’s party will cost and how much saving will need to be done for the rest of the month.

“Dazai,” Ranpo calls.

At least he has another three minutes before his plan is tested.

“And Kunikida.”

No.

“I Knew You Were Trouble.”

Hell no.

Kunikida ignores the mic on the table, and the tapping of Dazai’s hand on his shoulder. “Sing with me, partner,” he says enthusiastically. “I know you’re shy, but hey, it’s a duet.”

Dazai begins the song, ignoring the fact that Kunikida does not join him, and Kunikida allows himself to relax a bit. Dazai’s wailing is not helping his concentration, but at least he’s not being forced-

“KUNIKIDA, THE CHORUS!” Dazai screams, pointing a second mic at Kunikida’s pursed lips.

“‘Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in                                           So shame on me now…”

Kunikida will not give in. Briefly, he thinks that he can sympathize with this Swift girl. He should have kicked Dazai to the curb the first moment he laid eyes on him.

“Flew me to places I’d never been
‘Til you put me down, oh”

Dazai’s wailing is getting louder, but Kunikida believes he can endure.

“I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALKED IN…”

Dazai’s mop of curly hair is getting closer and Kunikida’s ears are starting to ring.

Deep breaths, he tells himself. 

“FLEW ME TO PLACES I’D NEVER BEEN…”

Endure.

ENDURE.

“COME ON KUNIKIDA, JOIN IN!” Dazai shouts, right in his ear.

“NOW I’M LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND.”

“ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Kunikida screams, whacking Dazai on the head again. His hit is hard enough so that a THUMP is amplified by the mic, but Dazai sits up, unfazed. He shrugs.

“Pretty close, actually,” he comments. “But you sound more like a goat than Taylor Swift.” He continues to sing, unaware of Kunikida’s growing murderous intent.

Kunikida wants to bury himself in a hole. He looks to the side at Fukuzawa, who pointedly stares straight ahead, away from his accusatory gaze.

This team has no sense of camaraderie, Kunikida thinks again. He briefly considers joining the Port Mafia. Surely they wouldn’t engage in such foolishness as this. 

At that very moment, Kunikida feels a cold prickling run down his neck, and he cringes, suddenly very afraid. He looks to the side carefully, and Fukuzawa gives him a dark look before turning his eyes away again.

Fukuzawa sips his tea.

Kunikida tries not to cry.

10 Songs on Shuffle!

Tagged by: @ofanimagi because i also really like moozik

Tagging: also everyone, see above

1. Robo’s Theme, Chrono Trigger OST, Yasunori Mitsuda

2. Cry For The Moon, Epica

3. Son of Man, Tarzan OST, Phil Collins

4. Cold War, Janelle Monae

5. Layla, Eric Clapton

6. Liberi Fatali, FFVIII OST, Nobuo Uematsu

7. Your Song, Elton John

8. To Far Away Times, Chrono Trigger OST, Yasunori Mitsuda

9. Come Closer, Delain

10. Miss Nothing, The Pretty Reckless

2

Serapetit! - 88, 89

Merry Christmas, everyone! Yadda, happy birthday to my queen Shinoa-chan (and me but whatever) we know the drill. Nothing beats that new episode anyway because-

KING OF SALT

I mean I know what it actually means but

KING OF SALT

THIS IS WAY FUNNIER THAN IT SHOULD BE

LIKE

THEY WERE ACTUALLY SERIOUS

Ahem. A~ny~way, good shit, Serapuchi request, sorry Misora I’ll get to MokuAri right away, is there anything I’m missing? No? Oh, right.

T/N: 

- Futsal is apparently a 5-man football game. Why must they invent a shitload of names I can’t ever hope to remember? Geezus. 

- とりゃ is a kinda sfx so I left it in there, not an error. It’s sort of like this  

ヘ(#`_ゝ´)ノ トリャァッ!! because it’s a kaomoji sort of thing www

- Guren’s font is called YouMurderer (www)

Masterpost

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FLY TOGETHER: Chicago Blackhawks Mix Tape 

[For my favorite sports team, because I love those idiots.This is an extremely serious mix which you should take extremely seriously. ]

01 Domino – Brandon Saad / 02 Classic – Marian Hossa / 03 Hey Brother – Duncan Keith / 04 Not a Bad Thing – Niklas Hjalmarsson / 05 Starships – Patrick Kane / 06 Young Blood – Jonathan Toews / 07 Wild Ones – Scott Darling / 08 Get Lucky – Bryan Bickell / 09 Shake It Out – Brad Richards / 10 Some Nights – Brent Seabrook / 11 It’s Time – Patrick Sharp / 12 Sex On Fire – Johnny Odyua / 13 Bulletproof – Corey Crawford / 14 Happy – Antti Raanta / 15 Fancy Footwork – Marcus Kruger / 16 Second Go – Kris Versteeg / 17 Young Volcanoes – David Runblad / 18 The Fighter – Andrew Shaw / 19 Dynamite – Dan Carcillo [x]

6

VOGUETAYLOR’S BEST BLOGS OF 2014! I don’t like using the term ‘follow forever’ because people, including me, have unfollowed blogs they’ve put on their past follow forevers. Best blogs of 2014 I think is more accurate haha. 2014 was a crazy year for the taylor fandom on tumblr. I’m so happy Taylor joined and followed our blogs and liked our posts. I’m also so happy a lot of you guys participate in selfie night and support each other by reblogging/liking other people’s selfies. You guys are all so so beautiful. I love this fandom so much. I just think it’s so special to able to be a part of this network. Well anyway, here are almost, if not all, the blogs I follow. (sorry if i miss anyone) I LOVE YOU GUYS! I got to meet a few of you guys this year which is AMAZIIING and I hope 2015 brings many more of us together! - Cin <3

# - I
2amwhodoyoulove 1989album all-too-well alonewithchangingminds alwayswift amourswift andthatlittleblackdress andyoucallmeupagain andyourbeautifuleyes athousandmemoriesbaby badsblood beautifulnight  bemyoldselfagain best-apologies blessingswift bllankspace breakburnandends butlovinghimwasred captureitrememberit casuallyfearless catchingtaylor cherrylipcrystalsky christmaseswhenyouweremine comebackbehere dancinroundthekitchen darkblueetennessee dressuplikehipsters enchantedswift13 endlessly-daydream eyesopen fakersgonnafakes fear13less feariess fearlesslove13 fearlesswift filledwiththorns flashbacksandechoes floodcarries foreverthenames gay4tay gluegunscar gotyourdemons hazlegrace heldyourpride hellagoodcurls holygrounds iconfessbabe iknitsweatersyo imgoingtoshakeitoff inbrightburningred inthenameofbeinghonests itwasthemomentiknew

J- S
julyninths juniorjewels justbeforetheyloseitall kingdomlightsshine kissinbarsyoufool knowsplaces lightsglisten likeanytruelove lonevolf long-list-of-exlovers longlivethegirlinthedress longslive losinhimwasbluee lovedyouright lovespretty lovetheriddlesthatyouspeak makingupforlostlove mosaicbrokenhearts nevereverlikeever neverevers nowimhaunted ofbeinghonests oldfavoritesong oneswift oswifts paintmeablueskyswift placeswecanhide queentaylor rightandreal rodxns sadbeautifultragic screamingiminlovewithyou seestinablog shakeitoffs  sixtiequeen sparklesandtay sparkleswift speaknowtaylor sunlightskies swiftpick swiftskies swiftzone13 

T - Z
takeawaythepains talyorswifts tayliswift taylor-svift tayloralisonswft taylorsblood taylorswi13ft taylorswift taylorswiftmademefearless taylorswiftordie13 taylour tayorswift tayswiftdotcom tayswiftnation tayswizzle teaswift thatwasasmalltown thatwhitedress theangelscity theblameisonme thecrookedlove thelookonyourface thenewromantiques theothersideofthedoor thethingsimisread timeerasingyou tothissickbeat tothissickbeat upinlights vaylorswift wednesdayinacafes wegotbillstopay weheartswifties wentmad whereveryouares willdestdreams wishingitwasyouinstead wonderingfaiths wonderinwhywebotherwithlove youbelongwithmes youkeepmyoldscarf youreclean youmakemecrazier youpaintmeabluesky yourcoloursfades youshouldvebeenhere

2

You’re gonna have a good time.

 Because I wanted a fight with Sans in the pacifist run so snowball fight! With Papyrus alive of course.

The idea was: he use his magic because I thought he would be very lazy to do snowballs himself (??) (Then a friend reminded me that magic should only be with the souls but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my snow is magic)

first, sorry for the shitty edit, i did it as fast as i could, but this is my first follow forever and i’d like to thank everyone below this because you were a part of this year and i love you all so much, you’re all fab, don’t forget that!

ashtonohmygod // ashtonsdimps // bandsdork // blow-luke // blowcalum // calumcuddled // confusedirwin // damncalum // emojilucas // fifahemmo // flfteen // hellatoomanydates // hemmoed // huggablehemmo // irwintoxication // kisshood // lashton-is-life // lukey // lukeyhemminq // mxlum // ohemmoh // piercedlukes // plaidmikey //  sexualmuke // sunlouis // sweatermichxel // timeerasingyou // ughood // vegemiteash // vodkaclifford //  weightlessmike // 5sos-official // taylorswift

happy new year and sorry if I forgot anyone, i hope you have an amazing year, love you very much :-)