not sure which is the correct one

Ridiculous yet effective ways to deal with Executive Dysfunction

Dealing with executive dysfunction and ADHD becomes so much easier when you stop trying to do things the way you feel like you should be able to do them (like everyone else) and start finding ways that actually work for you, no matter how “silly” or “unnecessary” they seem.

For years my floor was constantly covered in laundry. Clean laundry got mixed in with dirty and I had to wash things twice, just making more work for myself. Now I just have 3 laundry bins: dirty (wash it later), clean (put it away later), and mystery (figure it out later). Sure, theoretically I could sort my clothes into dirty or clean as soon as I take them off and put them away straight out of the dryer, but realistically that’s never going to be a sustainable strategy for me.

How many garbage bins do you need in a bedroom? One? WRONG! The correct answer is one within arms reach at all times. Which for me is three. Because am I really going to get up to blow my nose when I’m hyperfocusing? NO. In allergy season I even have an empty kleenex box for “used tissues I can use again.” Kinda gross? Yeah. But less gross than a snowy winter landscape of dusty germs on my desk.

I used to be late all the time because I couldn’t find my house key. But it costs $2.50 and 3 minutes to copy a key, so now there’s one in my backpack, my purse, my gym bag, my wallet, my desk, and hanging on my door. Problem solved.

I’m like a ninja for getting pout the door past reminder notes without noticing. If I really don’t want to forget something, I make a physical barrier in front of my door. A sticky note is a lot easier to walk past than a two foot high cardboard box with my wallet on top of it.

Executive dysfunction is always going to cause challenges, but often half the struggle is trying to cope by pretending not to have executive dysfunction, instead of finding actual solutions.

“Don’t politicize this” people can shove it up their collective chambers, I got desensitized to this stuff after Virginia Tech, everything after Pulse has just been me saying “So are we actually going to do something NOW?” because honestly I’m sick and tired of this. 

The second amendment is broken.

The Founding Fathers didn’t think that we’d be stupid enough to A. Make weapons powerful enough for one man to murder twenty people and injure a hundred others and B. Not pass laws limiting these things. They wanted every man to have his own musket, his own pistol, his own weapons of self-defense that he can brandish at an oncoming mob and say “Which one of you wants it?” while being fully aware that he’s only going to take down one of them, and hope that the mob thinks the same and says “Well I don’t want it to be me or my buddy, so let’s just go home”. That’s what they wanted. Not this. Never this.

The Bill of Rights was established so that people didn’t have to be afraid of assembly. It was established so that they could trust their fellow man. People needed to be sure that what they read in the paper was correct and honest, and that they should not be afraid of soldiers or policemen intimidating them. That’s what the Bill of Rights is supposed to do.

And constantly, time and time again, people have used it to justify the terror and horror that is perpetuated by American citizens. 

I’m sick of it. And don’t come at me for “politicizing” this, because this is already a political issue. It’s been a political issue. Every massacre that follows these debates is simply another reminder that we still haven’t fixed the problem.

The sad thing is that the next failure, statistically speaking, will probably be within the next two weeks. Someone else is going to die…and we know our leaders aren’t going to do anything about it.

The fact that Luna is a Ravenclaw and Hermione is a Gryffindor is super important to me.

Like Hermione could easily have been a Ravenclaw if we just went by her passion for knowing things. But simply knowing things isn’t all intelligence is. Intelligence doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with how “book smart” someone is. You have to be willing to look outside the box and use what you know in a useful way. That’s the creative, wise, open-minded aspect of Ravenclaw that seems to get overlooked.

And the one thing that I think got in Hermione’s way was her fear of failure. A fear of being wrong. And being wrong is part of the learning experience and it’s not something that I feel a Ravenclaw would be afraid of but instead they’d expect it and welcome whatever revelations came from it. A Gryffindor can’t afford to be wrong because if they are going to do something brave and daring then failure could have terrible consequences.

Luna on the other hand is someone who might not be very good academically at all. We don’t know for sure. But her way of looking at the world is so unique and seemingly impossible. She’s creative and open to new ideas and accepting of other people’s differences which is the ideal attitude to have for learning. When she answered the question to get into Ravenclaw tower, the knocker did not say she was right or wrong, rather it said “well reasoned” which suggests that maybe there doesn’t have to be one definite correct answer because HOW she came to her conclusion is what mattered. How often do you think her professors gave her correct marks on essays and things because she wasn’t “technically” wrong? How would they have made it to the Department of Mysteries in OOTP if she hadn’t suggested they fly on Thestrals when half of the group couldn’t even see them? Her ability to see what others couldn’t is how they solved that particular problem and that’s part of what Ravenclaw is all about.

Ravenclaws don’t necessarily do something simply because it’s logical, but they use logic to do something better than everyone else. That’s the difference between Hermione and Luna to me.

Ten reminders

1. The first reminder: don’t forget to get new supplies of that thing you are just about to run out of.

2. Second: remember to wake up at an appropriate time for that thing you were going to do. For example, if you are attending the founding of Vladivostok you should set your alarm for July, 1850. You may need to use that button on the back to get the correct setting.

3. Third: remember that there are metal-tipped mountains on Venus which are higher than any mountain on Earth.

4. Fourth: remember to walk that thing that needs walking, I am not quite sure what the thing is, it might be a dog or an idea or a romance, and the walking might be literal or metaphorical but anyhow: that thing is sitting at your feet and panting and you might want to give it a bit of exercise or it’ll be keeping you up all night.

5. Then too, remember that song, the one that filled up your whole head for days and you couldn’t stop little bits of it slipping out of your mouth from time to time? Just asking.

6. Sixth: have you remembered that cats’ feet have little beans on the bottom so far today? If not, this is your official reminder to remember this.

7. Seventh: don’t forget to talk to that person you were going to talk to, they would probably be happy to hear from you.

8. Also, eighth, just to remind you, you have a tongue in your mouth and if you think about it you can just sort of feel it sitting there.

9. Ninth: this is a reminder that one day you will look at the unrolling horizon and feel a sudden cloud lifting, a cloud you were never even quite sure was there, and behind it unexpected joy.

10. And finally: remember that most things, really, turn out OK, and most people are at least alright and at best amazing, and hidden within each awesome thing there are usually at least six more curled up like woodlice.

Aliens Vs Menstrual

Re-posting this so folks actually see the damn thing.

Please forgive the length… the plot bunny got away from me… very far away from me…


There was blood on the floor.

Avrex blinked and stared at the red droplets on the floor. More red caught xer eye. There was more just under the edge of the seat. As if someone had tried to wipe it up but hadn’t thought to get under the very edge. Only one species on board had red blood.

This had to belong to one of the humans.

But why would blood be here in waste room of all places? Granted, humans were an odd breed, and used the waste rooms for more than the elimination of waste. Some even installed mirrors and extra lights and spent an hour or more in there! But blood? Why here? And why on the waste reclaimer lid? Surely if one of the humans was injured they would go to the infirmary….

…wouldn’t they?

Avrex shook xer scaled head and stalked out of the waste room. Xey would get to the bottom of this.


The humans had been hired three months prior. Two at first. Then another two a month later. And a fifth one a month after that. They were extremely useful, and didn’t really take up much space.

Hunting down any of said humans was a challenge.

Three of the humans were mechanics, and could be found shimmying their slender bodies between various components of the ship to reach the part they desired to work on. Even with an extra set of large eyes, Avrex would often walk right by the little beings, missing their little oil and grease smeared bodies in amongst the equally oil and grease smeared engine components. At a hulking ten feet tall, Avrex often missed the little monsters because they were under something or other.

The massive first officer dismissed the mechanics as a viable first target for questions. Searching through the entrails of the ship for crew members that xey may or may not find was not an effective use of xer energy or time. Xey could always catch the mechanics at the designated meal time if the other two humans couldn’t answer xer questions satisfactorily.

The fourth human was no easier to find. He was a security guard, and could be anywhere on the ship at any given time. Despite the fact that he wasn’t a mechanic, he seemed to share their proclivity for climbing on things, and for crawling into spaces that were inaccessible to most of the rest of the crew.

That left Carl.

Avrex made xer ponderous way down to the metallurgy lab. The human designated as Carl was not like the others. He was much older. The kind, gentle being had been the first human the ship had taken on, and had paved the way for the four other humans that followed. The others respected him greatly, turning to him for wisdom and advice. Surely Carl would have some insight into why there was human blood in the waste room.

Carl was right where he was supposed to be.

Avrex pressed the alert button and patiently waited to be granted entry just outside the lab doors. The request was swiftly answered, the doors sliding open with a soft hiss to admit the ship’s first officer.

Carl had put his work station into a safe position, and turned in his seat to give the hulking alien from Jarrok his full and undivided attention. Avrex had always liked that about Carl. While the human ability to multi-task often came in useful, it was sometimes disconcerting to hold a conversation with a being that never once even glanced in xer general direction while they spoke.

Carl smiled as he stripped of his protective gear. “Avrex. What brings you down here?”

The first officer assumed a parade rest position. “I have a query about human behavior, and had hoped that you could explain.”

The human chuckled and ran a hand through his graying hair. “Well, I’ll do my best. Go on and fire away.”

Avrex paused, then decided to ignore the odd turn of phrase. Experience had shown that large amounts of time were wasted when human parlance was questioned. “I discovered a small amount of blood in one of the communal waste rooms. I am aware that humans use waste rooms for more than their intended purpose, but I am at a loss as to what form of task could take place in a waste room, and possessed the potential to cause injury. The blood was red, thus it can be safely assumed that such belonged to one of the humans on board. But none of the humans have sought out medical aid. If one of my crew is injured in any capacity, as first officer I am entitled to know, so that I may account for such injuries when drawing up the duty roster for the coming cycles.”

The elderly male frowned thoughtfully. “There are a couple things it might be. But I’m not going to stir up panic by picking the wrong one. Which waste room was it you found the blood?”

Feeling dread curdle in xer gut, Avrex gave him the correct room number.

Carl nodded. “Melanie was supposed to be working up near that sector. More’n likely it’s her blood you found. Come on, I’ll walk up with you and help straighten this mess out.” Avrex started to protest. Surely xey could manage without taking Carl away from his work if given the pertinent information. The elderly human shook his head in seeming amusement. “Trust me Avrex, it’s better if I go along. If this is what I think it is, you’d just end up with a very angry or hurt mechanic on your hands.”

The first officer shut xer maw, frilled ears pinned back against the sides of xer head. What could possibly be going on that would result in a human being injured or angry?

Xey walked back down to the correct deck with Carl, deciding to wait and see. If what Xey had heard from other ships was true, an angry human was something to be avoided if at all possible.


Despite the consistent trouble the rest of the crew had in locating the mechanics while about their work in the engines, Carl seemed to have no problem tracking down the correct human.

At his call, she crawled out of a space so tight Avrex wasn’t sure xey could’ve gotten a paw in.

The second human the ship had taken on, Melanie had been hired barely a week after Carl. She was by far the smallest of the humans, and the quietest. Her peers took shameless advantage of her small size, leaving work in the tightest spaces to her. She didn’t seem to mind, preferring to work alone rather than with her group as most humans were purported to do. In fact, with the exception of Carl she seemed to avoid all of her kind for the most part.

The raven haired female flashed her teeth in the odd threat gesture that humans insisted denoted welcome, amusement, or joy.

Melanie wiped her hand on a rag and stuck it out to Carl for a traditional human greeting. “Hey Carl. Did one of your do-dads break down again?”

“Not this time dear.” Carl assured. “The first officer swung by with a question, and it seemed you’d be most likely to have the answer. Seems Avrex swung by the restroom and found human blood on the floor. Any chance you’d know something about that?”

Melanie paled.

The elder human nodded and patted her shoulder, seeming to have derived his answer from her silence. “It’s alright dear, no need to worry. I was married for thirty-five years before cancer took my sweet Belle, and she and I raised six beautiful daughters. There isn’t a thing under the sun I haven’t seen, and I’ve made more trips to the store for feminine things than I could probably count! Do you need any help, or do you have everything in order?”

The young female slowly relaxed at his kindly manner. She shook her head, asserting that she had ‘it’ covered. Avrex shifted xer weight, subtly drawing the humans’ attention back to xer question.

“You’re the only woman on board, Mel. Would you like to explain? Or would you rather I did?”

Melanie’s cheeks started to change color underneath the grease. “I can do it.”

Carl seemed pleased by the answer. “Go get ‘em then. And if you need anything, you go ahead and ask me or Cal. That’s the lad over in security, in case you didn’t know. Lord knows he’s young, but he won’t give you any grief if you need something and can’t get it yourself.”

Calling a farewell, Carl patted Avrex on the shoulder and headed back to his lab, leaving the massive reptilian being towering over the tiny female.

Avrex slowly squatted down as low as xey could manage in an attempt to put her at ease. Xer experience with humans was still somewhat limited, but observation had shown that humans tended to be slightly intimidated by a difference in height.

Her cheeks were changing color again. Looking down, the human female mumbled something at the floor.

Avrex cocked xer head. “Could you repeat that more clearly please?”

Melanie seemed to gather her courage and finally looked the massive officer in the larger pair of xer four amber colored eyes.

“I’m on my period.” The admission made, she seemed to lose some of her discomfort. “It started a few hours ago while I was up in the machinery. I had to climb down and run to the rest roo-damnit, waste room to clean myself up. I’m sorry about the blood, I’ll be more careful in future.”

Avrex cocked xer head. “I do not understand. I was under the impression that ‘period’ is a form of punctuation denoting the end of a sentence. How then, can you be ‘on’ it?”

She stared at xem for a long moment, eyes widening as she slowly seemed to realize that xey genuinely had no idea what she was talking about. “Ok. Um… the word ‘period’ also means a length of time. Human females use the word as slang to talk about a specific time. It’s… God, I can’t believe I’m giving an alien the talk. Ok, so basically…”

Avrex listened in growing astonishment as the little female described a process by which one of her internal organs partially deconstructed itself once a month unless she put it to use in forming a baby. If she was to be believed, it happened once a month from approximately age eleven to age forty to fifty. Admittedly, compared to the amount of blood in the human body the amount lost during one of the episodes she described was relatively small. But, she explained that other fluids were expelled as well, along with pieces of the organ that was shredding and rebuilding itself. The entire process took place approximately every three to four weeks.

Avrex shook xer head. “Shouldn’t such a process be painful?”

Melanie shrugged. “Well yeah. I know some women who stay in bed the entire time they’re on because it hurts so bad.”

The first officer reared back in alarm. “Are you in pain?!”

Another shrug. “My uterus is shredding it’s inner lining because I’m not knocked up with a baby. Yes, I hurt.”

Avrex had to work hard not to snap xer teeth in xer anger on Melanie’s behalf. “If human females require bed-rest while experiencing one of these ‘periods’, why are you not in bed? Surely if you explained the situation to the medical officer he would have given you medical leave. We do not require a crew member to return to active duty immediately after surgery, surely an internal organ coming apart cannot be so different!”

Melanie laughed. Laughed!

The little human caught xer hand and gave it a squeeze. “I said some humans Avrex. Some. Most don’t experience severe pain. If it gets bad, it means that more than likely something else is wrong. Most of us wear special liners in our clothes or inserted into our bodies to catch the blood so we don’t get it all over the place. And we just go on with our daily routine. Grin and bear it. We’ll be alright.”

The first officer wasn’t convinced. “At least tell me that you have spoken to the medical officer about something to relieve the pain.”

She shook her head, holding up a hand to forestall xer protests. “Some women do. I don’t like using pain medication for something I can tough out. Humans have this thing, where we can slowly build up an immunity to certain drugs through prolonged use. I avoid pain medication so I don’t build up an immunity. That way, when I do need it I know it works really well. As soon as I realize my period is starting, I start drinking more water. The human body is about sixty percent water, and making sure that I’m properly hydrated speeds up the process and makes it hurt less. Instead of dealing with it for six to seven days, it only lasts three to four. Seriously Avrex, I’m fine, and I’ve got a handle on the rest of the symptoms. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Avrex felt as if xer head was spinning. “Other symptoms?”

The human bared her teeth in another smile. “Most of us get moody because our hormone level fluctuate a bit. It hits every woman a bit differently. Some women turn into a weepy mess. Me? I turn into a grouchy, irritable, cow who avoids everyone like the plague. Other women will get angry at the drop of a hat and bite the head off the nearest individual that annoys her.” She must’ve seen the look of shock and horror on xer face because she immediately backtracked. “Shit, not literally! I mean they just get overly aggressive, usually verbally.”

She waited for a second, to make sure xey understood, then went on.

“Aside from the moodiness it’s a grab bag of ways your period will affect you. Some people get cravings, some people get back pain, or their breasts”, she put her hands illustratively on the soft mounds on her chest to be sure that there wasn’t any miscommunication between them about what ‘breasts’ were, “get sore. Most of us get cramps in our lower abdomens right about here.” Again the illustrative touch, this time to a spot just below her belt. “Some of us have an increased sex drive, while others just want to roll themselves up in a blanket like a burrito, and a lot of us are fatigued. Every woman’s different.”

Avrex slowly shook xer head, completely dumbfounded by the sudden influx of information. “Is…is there anything you currently require? I know that Carl already asked, and you informed him that you were sufficiently prepared, but…”

Her face softened. “I’m fine Avrex. Really. I just…”

“Hey! Melanie! You gonna keep up with the men today, or are you gonna have a tea party with the dinosaur all day?”

Avrex almost responded.

Almost.

Instead, xey remained stationary, watching as a strange change came over the female before xem. Where before she had been timid and shy, at the sudden derogatory call from the newest of the five humans, a male named Dave, her face suddenly became calm and smooth as granite.

She slowly turned and cast a threatening, and yes Avrex was sure that this smile was definitely a threat, at Dave and the other male mechanic Josh. Josh had been the fourth human taken on, hired within days of Cal the security guard.

As Dave was the one who’d spoken, Melanie seemed to focus most of her attention on him. “Care to run that by me again smart mouth?”

Josh, older and more mature than Dave, seemed to understand the unspoken warning. “Dave…”

The younger human ignored him. “Ooh, someone woke up on the bitchy side of the bed this morning. What’s a matter sweet cheeks?” He made an expression that Avrex would later learn was called a leer. The male grabbed her by the arm. “Maybe you just need a little action to settle you down, yeah? How ‘bout it babe? I bet I can get that stick out of your ass. Hm? Maybe put something better…”

A large wrench whistled through the air and stopped within a micron’s breadth of the young human’s nose. It was easily the length of the male’s forearm, and had previously been occupying a loop on Melanie’s belt. He stared at it, cross eyed and pale, then looked at the diminutive little female who could’ve easily broken his nose if she’d had less control.

“What’s a matter?” She parroted the question back, voice tight and dark. “What’s a matter is that I started my day in a fountain of my own blood, and that’s how you’re going to end yours if you ever call me ‘sweet cheeks’, ‘babe’, or any other cutesy nickname again. And as for keeping up with you ‘men’, I’m already three days ahead of schedule. You’ve barely been on this ship a month and you’re already two weeks behind. So I’d say it’s you who aught to be keeping up with me, because it seems anything you can do I can do better and faster while bleeding.” Her dark eyes narrowed. “And lastly? If you ever lay hands on me again? I promise you, they will never find your body.”

She slid the wrench back into her belt, cast a respectful nod to Avrex, and calmly crawled back up into the machinery.

Dave stared after her for a long moment, then pointed. “Josh! Did you see what that bitch just…”

The older male cuffed him over the back of the head. “You’re an idiot. Never piss off something that bleeds for seven days a month and doesn’t die. I haven’t got to know her all that well yet, but Mel is worth ten of you. That woman works her ass off. If you ever go after her again, and she doesn’t kill you, you can bet that I will happily beat you black and blue!”

Avrex bared xer teeth, allowing a tiny warning growl to rumble deep inside xer barrel chest. The reptilian first officer slowly stood to xer full ten foot height, looming over the miscreant. “Consider yourself warned.”


An additional talk with Carl yielded a few ‘pearls of wisdom’ concerning ‘feminine’ needs.

With the thunderstruck captain’s blessing, Avrex ordered small metal receptacles installed in each of the public waste rooms on board at their next stop. Carl had suggested small boxes, but given the frequency of meteor showers and pirate attacks, evasive maneuvers were engaged fairly often. Avrex thought it better to have the receptacles affixed to the wall and a basic bolt lock placed on the lid so that the ‘feminine’ supplies wouldn’t be thrown around the waste rooms when the ship had to duck or roll suddenly.

Upon having the situation explained, the other alien members of the crew who hadn’t been released for shore leave were more than happy to help. They liked Melanie, and the discovery that she spent a week in pain each month and gave no outward sign was disconcerting to say the least.

Other changes included stain proof bedding, a heating pad, a new fluffy blanket, and a few earth sweets being slipped into her room.


Dave, the human who had harassed her, was not invited back to the ship.

Instead he was replaced with a male creylight from the Andromeda system. While not as small as the humans, he was still flexible enough to reach most of the components without taking a piece of the engine apart, and he was much stronger. The humans wouldn’t have to drag the lifting equipment out as often.

He was also made aware of how his predecessor had been fired for his disrespectful, inappropriate, and frankly downright threatening behavior towards Melanie.

The crew was not going to tolerate such treatment towards their favorite human.


Melanie nearly burst xer ear drums with her grateful calls upon returning from shore leave and discovering what xey had done.

She had been dreading coming back to work and having to deal with Dave. And then to find out he’d been fired, and to see what ‘sweethearts’ the rest of the crew had been…

As xey crouched down to receive the strongest ‘hug’ the little human could muster, Avrex couldn’t help but marvel at the change in her attitude. While she still treated Josh a little coolly, Melanie seemed much less guarded than she had before. She made friends with Cal, and Carl, and slowly started to get to know Josh. She was more outgoing while socializing with the rest of the crew. The timidity faded, an air of preparedness that the crew hadn’t even realized was there fell away. Leaving her relaxed and free. For the first time since she’d boarded the ship, she seemed truly happy.

She felt safe.

And Avrex couldn’t help but feel both saddened and enraged at how surprised she seemed that they would go out of their way to make her feel safe and comfortable. That she was so used to relying on no one but herself. So used to being stepped on and living in fear of the male half of her species taking advantage of her.

No more.

Avrex took care of xer crew.

Types In a Zombie Apocalypse

ENTP

- unofficial leader everyone loves

- ultimate plan checker; makes sure that they covered every possibility

- argues with ENTJ and ESTJ a lot, but always ends up winning arguments

ENTJ

- comes up with plans to defeat zombies

- assigns roles to everybody (which no one follows)

- rations the food and essential items

INTP

- invents weapons and technology

- database of info on zombies

- awake at 1:00 AM not because of zombies but because they want to make another zombie meme

INTJ

- weapons analyst

- keeps everyone on track

- can defeat zombie on their own

ESTP

- helps build weapons

- accidentally got separated but found their way back

- fights zombies front line, not scared at all

ESTJ

- supervisor, keeps everyone in line

- organizes everyone when time to fight

- always angry at ENTP for arguing

ISTP

- official weapons manufacturer

- can troubleshoot and fix weapons and armor

- builds shelter for everyone

ISTJ

- the ultimate soldier

- literally the only person who follows the rules

- can recall important information about the zombies

ENFP

- can think like a zombie

- comes up with every possibility of how a zombie could attack the camp

- helps cook food so everyone doesn’t get bored of the same old granola bars

ENFJ

- the ultimate comforter

- makes sure everyone is happy

- can address the whole group and deliver instructions so that everyone doesn’t freak out

INFP

- scared of the zombies

- the baby of the group, everyone loves them

- everyone shares their food with them

INFJ

- tries to correct ESTJ and ENTJ, but gets pushed aside

- makes ENTP do the arguing for them

- understands zombies motivations in a whole

ESFP

- the entertainer

- tells jokes

- no one is ever bored with them along

ESFJ

- takes everything ESTJ says literally

- finds gossip somehow

- helps ENFP cook

ISFP

- also scared of the zombies

- documents all the zombie encounters by drawing them

- good at fighting the zombies, but sometimes feels bad for them

ISFJ

- will sacrifice themselves for others

- makes sure everyone is happy

- remembers which methods worked against the zombies before

I did exactly what the form told me to do.

As my username implies, I’m involved with the HR Department at work. Part of the more occasional administrative duties I do is processing Change of Details forms when people notify us of moving house, changing phone numbers, etc.

A few months ago a form was dropped off in our Out of Hours box with a Change of Address. Unfortunately, it was filled out poorly. The form only had the first name (Let’s say the name was Tom) of the employee and the new address. The form itself asks for Employee number, First & Last name and the Old & New address to make sure we’re updating the correct records.

Since the company I work for is a large one, just under 2,000 employees this is obviously not enough information to even know who dropped the form off. I checked our records and saw that we had eight current employees with that first name. Since the old address wasn’t specified I couldn’t even look up the addresses for those eight to figure out which one it was. Given my workload, I didn’t really have the capacity to go as far as checking the physical personnell files in the hope of comparing the handwriting, so I just set the form to the side and continued with more pressing work, like invoices. Eventually I decided to just keep the form in a folder on my desk so that if it was ever queried I had the evidence to show I couldn’t do anything with it.

About a month ago we did a mailout to certain staff to confirm and advise of some wage increases. As you may have guessed, our friend Tom was one of those affected. After he didn’t receive his letter, he came by the HR Office to complain.

$Tom: I never got the letter about my wage increase! What the hell?! I’m entitled to this! I want my increase! <rabble rabble rabble>
$Aech: Calm down, Tom. You definitely have a letter, I mail-merged them myself. I’ll do a reprint for you right now, if you like.
$Tom: Yeah, that’d be good
$Aech: *prints off another copy of his letter and hands it to him*
$Tom: Well that explains a lot, you lot never processed my change of address!
$Aech: (*Internal Ah-Ha! moment as I remember the Change of Address without any useful information*) Ohh, did you mean this one? (*I get it from my folder and show it to him*)
$Tom: Yeah, that’s the one! Why the hell haven’t you done anything with it?!
$Aech: Well, you’ve only put your first name here. We’ve got about eight Toms total, and there was no old address to be able to compare it to…
$Tom: Well someone should have told me!
$Aech: … How would we do that when we don’t know who filled this out?
$Tom: … Ugh, fine. I have to go back on duty now, I’ll drop another one off tonight.
$Aech: No worries. I’ll be sure to process it for you first thing tomorrow
$Tom: Whatever…
$Aech: (Internally: Fuck you too, buddy)

The next morning, sure enough there was a new form in the Out of Hours box. Complete with sarcastic underlining of his Employee number and name. As I update his details, I see that he’s put something under the ‘Preferred Name’ option. This is intended for people to have whatever name they prefer as their 'First’ name on things like the company directoy. Preferred name as in shortening Matthew to Matt, Kimberley to Kim or somebody with an 'International’ legal name preferring to go by an 'English’ name.

For the sake of this, we’ll pretend that Toms last name is Jones. Obviously, Tom Jones isn’t his real name. I just went with an alternative that’ll help this bit make sense. Tom had put his preferred name as 'Jonesy’. He has one of those last names that can become a nickname if you add ’-y’ to the end of it. Apparently that’s what his manager and others in his department call him.

Since Tom clearly wanted me to update all of his details correctly this time, I did exactly as he told me to do and entered 'Jonesy’ as his preferred name. Once the intranet updated overnight, the employee directory now knows him by his preferred name, showing him as Jonesy Jones.

About a week after that change took hold, his manager sent me a screencap of Jonesy and asked why it was showing him as Jonesy Jones. I sent him the scanned forms and the short version of the story, asking if he wanted me to change it back. He replied:

Well, you did exactly what he told you to do, its right there on the form. If he wants to change it back he can do another form. If he’s a smartass about it again let me know and I’ll take care of it.

Dammit, people, if you’re going to write a Canadian character, you can’t just throw “eh” in wherever. It’s not a verbal tic - it has a very specific semantic role.

In brief, “eh” does one of two things:

  • Turn an imperative into a request. e.g., “Pass me that wrench, eh?”
  • Turn a statement into a question. e.g., “Cold out there, eh?”

In the latter case, there are several situations where it’s commonly used:

  1. The speaker is not sure that the statement she’s just made is correct, and is asking the listener to confirm. e.g., “That’s about forty kilometers West of here, eh?”
  2. The speaker is checking that the listener is still interested and wishes for her to continue, but does not expect any specific response. e.g., “So then this freakin’ moose shows up, eh?”
  3. The speaker is being sarcastic. e.g., “You really thought that one through, eh?”

When used in this way, “eh” is roughly equivalent to appending “isn’t it?” (“doesn’t it?”, “didn’t you?”, etc.) to the end of a sentence; interestingly, it also functions very much like the Japanese “ne”, which has a nearly identical effect when appended to a statement.

Now you know.

Negotiations

I walked into the room, avoiding direct eye contact with the alien waiting for me. Its huge eyes just looked like a jet black sclera set in a sack of vaguely damp, wrinkled gray leather. If eyes are a window into the soul, this creepy little guy would give satan a run for his money. They just put me on edge, somehow. I’d have to make eye contact anyway, but it could wait.

I strode up to the meeting table, pulled out the chair, and sat down. I shuffled around in my bag for a moment before pulling out a small piece of tech, which I set on the table in front of me.

“Before we begin, I want to be sure of a few things. This device you’ve provided us with, it is 100% effective at understanding and translating languages, correct?”

The alien across from me nodded. It’s a nice little allowance they’ve made for comfort, learning our body language, but its bulbous head threw the whole gesture off. It made me think of one of those old inflatable toys with a weight on the bottom, that would lean too far to the side before bouncing straight back up. Woobles or something. It didn’t really matter.

“Nearly. We occasionally find a race with one or two concepts that it has trouble with, but that’s easily smoothed over.”

I took a deep breath, and waited a moment to compose myself. This whole thing was going to be more trying than not interrupting old man Higgins up the street while he went on about whatever racist sentiment was in his head at the moment.

“One or two…okay. That’s odd.”

The alien blinked. Eyelids came in from not just the top and bottom, but also the sides. That’s just plain creepy. Reminds me of one of those really old movies they threw on the media blacklist pretty much as soon as first contact started. Something in black. Whatever it was, I remember seeing it as a kid, and that guy at the beginning had nothing on this alien’s eyes.

“Have you already found something it can’t translate?”

I nodded, then pulled out my communicator and scrolled through a few documents. I really needed to clean this thing out. Can’t believe I didn’t get around to it before coming to such an important meeting. Imagine the debacle that would result if I opened exactly the wrong thing. Never can know what that might be, honestly.

“Of a sort, yes. Mind humoring me for a few minutes?”

The alien steepled its hands together, and leaned forward. That’s just plain creepy. I wonder how they learned such context specific body language? Not that it really matters, I guess. Not my problem.

“Certainly. After all, it can take years to accept a race into the Federation.”

Nodding again, I pulled up a document on my communicator, then leaned back in my chair as I began. This was going to be more interesting than that time your classmate Jimmy found some old matches somewhere and almost burned the school down by mistake.

“Excellent. This shouldn’t take much time. I mentioned that we found some issues with your device. Allow me to demonstrate: Espionage.”

The little device on the table beeped, and a red light flashed.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FOUND”

I sighed. That one had been an accident. We just had the thing sitting in a conference room while we discussed the implications of the visit when it came up. But, when something that simple for us to understand came up, we had to try for more.

“Reverse Engineering.”

Again, a beep and a flash of red.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FOUND”

“Spycraft.”

And again with the beep. This was going to get irritating if I didn’t speed things up a bit. Too bad we hadn’t managed to find a mute option for that feature.

“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FO-”

“Overwhelming Force”

“ERROR: NO-”

“Scorched Earth”

“ER-”

“Kamikaze”

“E-”

Blitzkrieg, Stealth, Mutually Assured Destruction, Acceptable Losses, Pyrrhic Victory, Guerilla Warfare, Encirclement, Entrenchment, Siege.”

The device gave off a series of distressed beeps, punctuated by rapid blinking of the little red light. I almost felt sorry for it. Almost.

“TOO MANY ERRORS DETECTED. REBOOTING. RUNNING SELF DIAGNOSTIC. NO DISCREPANCIES FOUND,”

I paused, and glanced across the table at the alien before looking back down at the translator. This was going to hit it harder than a washed up holovid actor with no auditions and less money hits rock bottom.

“Xenocide”

The chair across from me clattered to the ground as the alien practically fell out of its seat. I don’t blame the poor thing. Of all the aggressive, militaristic words we tried, that was one of the ones we least expected to translate. I mean, really. Who has a word for the intentional extermination of an entire sapient species when they don’t even understand fundamental hostile international mechanics like spying?

“Why do you have a word for…what was all that just now?”

I chuckled a bit while motioning for the alien to sit back down. His reaction had been pretty good, perfectly suitable for one of those hammed-up old dramas where the hero realizes they’ve been working with the villain all along.

“We were confused about that too. So we took a look at the information you sent as part of first contact with us. We noticed something interesting. Every single race in your Federation is carnivorous. Why is that?”

The alien seemed smaller somehow as it settled back into a seat. It looked kind of like a balloon slowly losing air, if that balloon was made of moldering gray leather with eyes that made your spinal column decide it wanted a holiday in Fiji.

“First contact has always been made after sapient races make it to multiple worlds. We’ve never found a sapient herbivorous race which failed to destroy themselves in resource wars and aggressive action. We’ve never found herbivores capable of surviving long enough to leave their own world.”

I leaned forward in the chair and smiled while finally making direct eye contact with the alien. I think the poor thing shivered when I did that. Not that I blame it. Imagine your reaction when you start to put the pieces together and realize that your friendly, upstanding next door neighbor might be the world’s most wanted criminal.

“And the races you have found, while commonly using threat displays, do not waste resources on wars they cannot easily win, correct?”

The alien nodded as it slouched a bit in its chair. It looked kind of like it was trying to hide. Who wouldn’t want to hide from the monsters in their closet?

“Wasted resources means decreased likelihood of survival.”

I shrugged. That was true enough, though rather coldly logical. Dispassionate logic like that has never been our strong suit. Then again, that’s why I’m in this situation in the first place, so it evens out.

“And yet herbivores constantly waste resources on aggression, on movement, on having more young than will possibly survive.”

The alien was staring at me. I’m not sure when the last time it blinked was. I wonder if those eyes need some kind of lubrication to keep from drying out. Probably, they looked a bit less creepy than they should’ve. Looked like they were losing their shine.

“And they die for it. That’s exactly why we’ve never encountered spacefaring herbivores. Their inherent aggression is their own demise.”

I held eye contact. I’d almost swear the alien was a weird statue right now. Don’t know who would commission a statue made of old greasy leather, but I’m sure there’s someone with too much money and too little sense who would give it a shot.

“Indeed. Now, back to the subject at hand. I’ll ask you before we continue: what can you offer humans for joining your Federation?”

The alien sputtered as it started moving again. I’d swear it looked offended. Maybe it doesn’t see where this is going. Not that it really matters, I guess. I mean, it probably matters about as much as posting a formal complaint to a new corporate policy, which is to say not at all.

“We’ve already sent the offer. You’ve seen that, I’m sure.”

I nodded, and began to tap out a staccato rhythm on the table with my fingers. I never could remember where I learned this stupid tune. I’ve known it as long as I can remember, and it just moves into my head on occasion and sticks around like that one couchsurfing friend who doesn’t understand the idea of wearing out their welcome.

“And I’m asking, what else do you have to offer?”

The alien just shook its head again, staring at the device. I wonder if it thought we might’ve tampered with it. As if we knew how. That little thing is way beyond our current abilities. We had some scientists pry it open and look inside, just to be sure.

“Nothing. I’m not sure why you’re-”

I raised my hand, cutting him off. Huh. Not sure why that worked. Did they learn that much of our body language? That’s still really creepy, if it’s the case. Or, maybe I just have it on edge. I dunno. I guess it doesn’t matter.

“May I have permission to connect my datapad with my ship’s computers?”

The alien glanced away from me for a moment. I assume it was checking in with superiors somehow. Maybe it was psychic, to an extent. Or maybe they just had an implant of some sort. We’ll find out eventually, I’m sure.

“Yes, if you like.”

I sighed. I guess that makes things easier for us. I don’t think anyone was going to like what I was about to do. This whole thing felt kind of like one of those holovids of an accident, where you know what’s coming and don’t want to keep going, but for some reason you just can’t seem to stop and pull yourself away.

“Computer, show video: Hiroshima”

A screen appeared in the air above my datapad. It started playing back an old, grainy video. Shaky, taken by hand in an aircraft in a firefight. Below, you can barely see a city being blotted out by a massive explosion. A cloud of smoke, fire and debris was rapidly climbing into the sky, billowing, growing, blooming into an eerie and easily recognized mushroom cloud.

“That’s…you’re using weapons of that scale on a population center? How recent was this?”

I shrugged, and closed the video. The screen on my datapad went back to the document I had up earlier. Gotta love how well they managed to predict this whole thing. I made a mental note to recommend a raise for whoever set up that document for me.

“Three centuries ago. Prior to our invention of spaceflight. Part of a much larger conflict. This is a relatively minor example of “overwhelming force”“

“ERROR: NO A-”

“Shut it. Computer, show infosheet: Battle of Stalingrad.”

A series of graphs and diagrams appeared above my datapad. They showed resources, time, maps, battle plans, and death tolls. Images were interspersed throughout, as were annotations on the tactical value of this, the emotional value of that. Prominent among them was a single apartment building, including notes on sniping from the roof and support via tunnels.

“That…what purpose would that…why w-”

Again, I raised my hand to cut him off, before closing the infosheet. Maybe it was both. Nah, couldn’t be. Only way it was both having this guy on edge and our body language is if it somehow had our body language built in. Unsettling thought, but not exactly likely.

“Because Stalingrad was an advantageous location and the people who died there were considered ‘Acceptable losses’“

“ERRO-”

“Computer, show gallery: General Sherman’s March to the Sea.”

A multitude of images appeared over the datapad. Rail lines and roads intentionally broken and destroyed. Farms and fields scoured clean and left to fallow. Buildings and towns razed to the ground. A broken people left to mourn and starve.

“So much waste…that can’t be intentional, can it?”

I glanced at the images, the wanton destruction that campaign caused, and the very orders that caused it. That kind of thing may be considered morally reprehensible now, even a war crime, but it wasn’t always. At the time, the strategy was extolled as one of the reasons the war ended the way it did.

“It was intentional.”

The alien stared at me, its reflective black eyes bigger than I’d ever seen them before. Creepy as all hell, that’s for sure. I’d rather not deal with these kinds of meetings in the future. Maybe after this I could negotiate for some kind of retirement.

“But…why?”

I tapped my datapad and closed the gallery, then leaned back and tossed my feet on the table. May as well relax, I already knew how this was going to end.

“Because it rendered the enemy unable to use resources Sherman couldn’t keep. Computer, assemble and show video grouping: RTS Games”

A large grid of videos came up, showing a huge range of scenes. Largely battle, the settings varied from open space to deep ocean, from early history to the far “future.” Even battles across space and time could be seen.

“The translator can’t have gotten that right. Those are military tactical simulations. Higher level than anything I’ve ever seen or heard of.”

I laughed as I closed out all of the videos and turned back to the alien. Creepy and unsettling as it might be, I’m pretty sure I was terrifying the poor thing. Not that I really felt sorry for it. Not at all.

“No. They aren’t. Those are games. Toys. For. Fun. And they’re a couple hundred years out of date. From what I’ve seen, nearly every human capable of coherent speech is capable of tactically overwhelming your Federation. And since we’re already here, in space, it’s too late for you to say no. So, I’ll ask again:

What do you have to offer us?”

Indepth analysis and solution of "Apple Bottom Jeans"

to this day this song remains a very heated topic of conversation  for many experts but I recently had an epiphany

so we know that shawty has at least some apple bottom jeans and em boots wit da fur (wit the fur!) and that the whole club is looking at her

but then further along we find out that shawty also had saggy sweatpants and the reeboks with the straps 

so either shawty is wearing pants over her head and shoes in her hands or she is some kind of quadruped centaur creature with a questionable fashion sense which could definitely explain why the whole club is looking at her to begin with

but then it came to me…  . .  it never says shawty has any hands or is even hUMAN.. and i was enlighten

it all makes sense now..

shawty is .. . 

a dog

as we all know dogs aren’t the best when it comes to the latest fashion trends 

and fmore snippets of the  lyrics also seem to support this theory

so FloRida spent a lot of money getting a purebred champ line dog (named shawty apparently) that he paid a lot of money for 

the club is probably the akc making sure she is legit(which is why they are all looking at her)

this world is full of enigmas but at least there is one less question plaguing our minds

you are welcome world

Haven Craft’s Tips for Beginner Witches, Part One

Tips for Beginner Witches

Let’s start with this – I am not the witch Pope. I cannot speak for the witchcraft community as a whole; only for my own tradition.

5 Things I Believe Beginner Witches Should Ask Themselves

Note that the answers to these things will change, but that a firm grasp of the answers at any point in your practice may be helpful to you. I recommend actually writing your answers down, and every now and again check back and see if your stance has shifted.

1. Is magick real?

If yes, then what do you mean when you say, “Magick is real”. (Do you mean that you can effect reality with your will, intent, and energy? Do you mean like, Harry Potter real? What will disappoint you to realize might not be probable? What will inspire you to realize you can accomplish?)

2. Where are your lines? (What do you firmly believe is true/false, right/wrong? Violence, doing harm, controlling others, etc. Would you punch someone if they threatened a friend? Would you curse someone if they threatened a friend? What would you do, if your coven head told you it was right but you felt it was wrong?)

3. What are you looking for in a magickal path? (Pro Tip – no one has all the answers and there is no one right way.)

4. What are you prepared to do in order to accomplish your goals? (How many spoons do you have to give this practice? Can you devote one night a week, are you going to randomly pick stuff up on Tumblr, are you going to leave society to pursue your studies under a waterfall, etc.)


I recommend that no one make any oaths or vows in their first year of practice. Get to know yourself, how you feel about magick, and what you actually want to do before you do any big commitments. (Historic anecdote – this is what the original year and a day was for.) More strident, but still personal, recommendation: if someone tries to get you to oath to them within your first week of being a witch, run.


Things People Should Tell Beginner Witches, But Often Don’t

1. Don’t be afraid to change your mind.

2. Don’t throw good energy after bad by continuing to do something that isn’t right for you.

3. Don’t be afraid to continue your education, even if that means learning something that was right for you before is no longer right for you.

4. There is no one right way to do this. There is no Witch Pope - there is no dogmatic enforcement of the path to being a witch.

5. There are absolutely as many assholes in Paganism and witchcraft as there are anywhere else. Don’t think that these people are all spiritually enlightened beings who mean you well and who will give good advice.

6. Yahoo Answers is not your friend. You have the internet – which has access to both all of human information and all of human misinformation. Look for credible sources. Anything that seems too easy or too good to be true probably is. Work on critical thinking.

7. Try Scholar.Google.Com over “this article says so on Patheos.com.” Seriously, recently an article on there claimed Friday the 13th was a sacred holiday in goddess centered pre-Christian Paganism before the patriarchy ruined it. There is no historical validation for that, but a bunch of witches reblogged it. (Things you learn from scholarly sources rather than the latest poorly edited Llewellyn mess: the Burning Times didn’t happen, different kinds of Pagans warred amongst themselves long before Christianity came onto the scene, there was no great unified Pagan religion before Christianity, and Gerald Gardner was probably lying about almost everything he said.)


You Should Probably Learn the Difference Between Paganism, Wicca, and Witchcraft

What is Paganism?

Pagan is an umbrella term for a member of a religious, spiritual, or cultural community, other than those of the main world religions, so:

Non-Abrahamic – it is not Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, or Mormon

Non-Eastern – it is not Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Sufism, or Sikhism

Theistic – The belief in some kind of divine power, which is sometimes polytheistic (a belief in more than one god), but not always

Some Pagans practice witchcraft – others do not.

This definition isn’t quite right, though it’s in hugely common usage, because there are Abrahamic and Eastern persons who consider themselves Pagan. Keep in mind that there will be exceptions to this definition and that those exceptions are valid.

There are also secular Pagans, so it isn’t even always Theistic. I know – it’s complicated. Though this is the largely accepted Academic definition, it doesn’t really work when applied to the real world, if you’re considering someone saying, “I’m Pagan” as a self-identifying definition, which I do. 

Wicca

Wicca is a religion. Most people consider Wicca as falling under the Paganism umbrella, although not all Pagans are Wiccan. Not all Wiccans are witches, and not all witches are Wiccan.

Wiccan is generally defined as:

Dualistic – There is a God and a Goddess

Pacifistic – Wicca has a rede that requires Wiccan do no harm to themselves or others, though not all Wiccans (such as those who follow Doreen Valiente’s suggested guidelines) are Pacifistic, so there are definitely exceptions to this

Earth-based – Having a respect for and acknowledgment of the powers of the Earth

Witchcraft

The spiritual or secular art, craft, and/or practice of the witch, defined many ways by many different people.

A witch is a witch who says they are one.

Again, there is no witch Pope and no witchy excommunication because you define yourself as a witch differently than someone else does.

Yes, male identifying and/or presenting persons can be witches.


Pagan and Witch Fallacies

There are certain ideas that most beginners in the witchcraft community will encounter over and over again. I’m going to run down some things – with the reminder, again, that I can only speak for my personal tradition.

1. “You should remove all negative influences from your life! You should purge all negative feelings! Be positive all the time!” Not everything that is negative is bad. Not everything negative can be avoided – we can’t all just quit our jobs and live in a witch shack in the mountains. We have to endure negative things, both because it is healthier to experience the full range of human emotion rather than to ignore a large chunk of it, and because it isn’t possible. What we should do is stop victim blaming witches who are going through hard times and stop telling witches they can’t be angry when they encounter something that should be angering.

2. “But, tradition!” Just because an affluent white guy in the 1400-1600s said something, doesn’t mean you should do it. We don’t follow their medicinal advice anymore; we don’t have to follow their magickal advice either. Seriously, I don’t care if tradition says a trans woman shouldn’t be in a sky clad ritual – that’s bullshit. We don’t put leeches on our bodies anymore – let’s leave the past nonsense where it belongs.

3. “We have to make sure everyone feels included and welcome!” Not if they abuse the welcome of others, we do not. The problem with making some people feel included and welcome is that you make their victims feel excluded and unwelcome because you’ve made them unsafe.

4. “We have to support each other and love each other and be a positive force in people’s lives.” Okay, yes, in small doses, this is a great aim. It doesn’t work for everyone (some witches are spite and malice fueled and they are still witches), but okay, it’s a nice idea. Until it becomes ableist or demands free emotional labor from people, which it often does.

5. “We have to educate them!” Okay, it’s great that there is this effort in the community to educate others. But if you don’t have the spoons or if it seems like they’re using the demand for their own education as a way to still have access to a community they are abusing, then no, you have no obligation to put their education over your well being. None. They have access to Google (even if they have to go to a library to use it.)

6. “You have to earn your right to be a witch.” No, no you don’t. Seriously, though, from whom? Dusty white men in graves? A Llewellyn author who couldn’t fact check themselves out of a paper bag? Again – no witch Pope. I’m just gonna keep pointing out the lack of a witch Pope until people get it.

7. “You have to be ________ rank, degree, etc. to have an opinion on this topic.” Yeah, okay, I’ll be sure to wave my certificate in your face before having an opinion on my own tradition. No. Your opinion may be an uneducated one and you may be corrected for it, but that doesn’t mean that you didn’t have the right to it before you completed your O levels at Hogwarts.

8. As a corollary to above, “This is just my opinion and you can’t be mad at me for it!” People absolutely have a right to their opinions. And everyone else the right to decide those opinions make them an asshole.

9. “I’m super special and powerful because xyz, which means I get to tell you what to do.” People only get to tell you what to do if you let them. Sometimes, that’s an exchange we willingly make, but other times, people will feel they have the right to tell you what to do because they are a hereditary witch or because they’ve been practicing longer. Just remember – their position doesn’t trump your humanity and you don’t have to kiss the feet of someone who kicks you.

10. “The person really wants _____ from you, and you should help them on their path. Helping them on their path helps you on yours!” Just because someone wants something from you, doesn’t mean they get it. Being a witch doesn’t take away your right to say no.  


Please remember that you don’t have to earn your right to be here. This one is tricky on some level – to be the respected person in your community, you need to put in your time. However, in order to be part of a group you don’t need to give the High Priest a blow job (seriously, run).

You don’t have to earn admission to witchcraft, but you do have to earn specific positions and other people’s trust. If you teach people not to trust you through your actions, they won’t trust you.

megaglitterytragedystuff  asked:

Can you explain when to use para and por? I always get them wrong :/

¡Hola! 

I answered a similar question before, and I made a Google document about this. But I’ll post it here (because I get this question a lot) with some extra things. :)

Well, first of all I don’t recommend you to learn “por and para” as “to and for” because this is not always correct, and you might get even more confused. The truth is that these prepositions don’t have an exact translation in English or any other language, so the only thing you can do is to know the uses and differences between them.

This is how I recommend you to learn them:

POR: reason, cause, method, way, duration
PARA: purpose, goal

I think para is easier to understand. Para always refers to a purpose, a goal or an effect. So if you’re not sure which one to use, ask yourself “Does the next phrase after para talk about a purpose or goal? If yes, use it. If not, 80% of the times is por. (I say “80%” because this is not an official rule. This is just something I thought about to help you choose the right preposition).

Now let’s see some examples to make this clearer:

por vs. para

  • ¿Por qué? - Why? What is the reason?
  • ¿Para qué? - What for? What is the purpose?

  • Lo hice por ti. - I did it because of you. (You were the reason)
  • Lo hice para ti. - I did it for you. (You were the purpose)

  • Trabajo por mi madre. - I work because of my mother. (She got me a job / she is the reason I got a job).
  • Trabajo para mi madre. - I work for my mother. (I work in her business / I’m her employee).

  • Una canción escrita por mi amigo. - A song written by my friend. (My friend is the reason why this song exists now)
  • Una canción escrita para mi amigo. - A song written for my friend. (The song was dedicated to my friend)

✧ por + [place] = way, route (focus on direction, not destination)

  • Por aquí. - This way
  • Me fui por la avenida. - I went down the avenue. (The avenue was the way I chose to get to my destination.)
  • Lo vi cuando pasó por la ventana. - I saw him when he passed through the window. (My window wasn’t his destination)
  • Caminé por el parque y vi esta flor. - I walked through the park and I saw this flower. (I was walking around the park without a definite destination)
  • Ayer pasé por tu casa. - I passed by your house yesterday. (I was going to another place and casually your house was on my way).
  • Viajé por varios países. - I traveled around several countries. (I’m not specific about each country I visited)
  • ¿Por dónde te vas a ir? - How are you going to go? (What’s the way you’re going to choose to go?)

✧ para + [place] = towards, “on my way to..” (focus on the destination)

  • Voy para el centro. - I’m going to downtown. (I’m on my way to downtown).
  • Nos vamos para Perú. - We’re going to Perú. (We’re on our way to Peru).
  • Viajamos para el Caribe en 30 minutos. - We travel to the Caribbean in 30 minutes. (On our way to the Caribbean in 30 minutes)
  • Voy para tu casa. - I’m on my way to your house.
  • ¿Ya vienes para acá? - Are you coming here? (Are you on your way?)

✧ por + [time] = for, in (during)

  • Trabajé por 8 horas. - I worked for 8 hours.
  • Se fue por días. - He left for days.
  • Ha estado viajando por meses. - He/She has been traveling for months.
  • No lo vi por años. - I didn’t see him for years.
  • ¿Por cuánto tiempo tienes que tomar los medicamentos? - For how long do you have to take the medications?

✧ para + [time] = due (deadline)

  • Tengo que terminar esto para las 8:00. - I need to finish this by 8:00.
  • La tarea es para el miércoles. - Homework is due Wednesday.
  • El proyecto es para la próxima semana. -The project is due next week.
  • Tengo que ahorrar 500 dólares para junio. - I need to save 500 DLS before June.
  • ¿Para cuándo es la tarea? - When is the deadline for the homework?

✧ por + [method] = by

  • Te envié las fotos por correo electrónico. - I sent you the pictures by email.
  • Le hablé por teléfono. - I called her/him on the phone.
  • Lo contacté por Facebook. - I contacted him by Facebook.
  • ¿Por dónde me mandaste los documentos? - How did you send me the documents? (Through what? what method?)

✧ por as cause

  • Por dormir en clase reprobé el examen. - Because I slept in class I failed the exam.
  • Lo has conseguido por todo tu esfuerzo. - You’ve got it because of all your effort.
  • Por comer mucho, ahora me duele el estómago. - Because I ate too much, my stomach hurts now.

✧ exchange / change + por

  • Quiero cambiar mis dólares por pesos mexicanos. - I want to exchange my dollars for Mexican pesos.
  • Te cambio tu sándwich por mi ensalada. - I’ll trade you my salad for your sandwich.

✧ gracias + por

  • Gracias por ayudarme. - Thank you for helping me.
  • Gracias por la comida. - Thank you for the meal.
  • Gracias por todo. - Thank you for everything.

More examples with gracias + por.

✧ para as goal

  • Trabajo todos los días para ganar dinero. - I work everyday to make money.
  • Hago ejercicio para bajar de peso. - I exercise to lose weight.
  • Practico para mejorar. - I practice to get better.

I hope this was useful! :)

Beating Brush Lag in Manga Studio

Booooooooo… what is this, Photoshop?!

Lagging brushes are an occasional problem in any illustration software. Here’s a troubleshooting guide for Manga Studio if your tools are acting like molasses. (Some settings may be different on Windows or if you’re running the Clip Studio Paint branding of the software. For what it’s worth, I’m running Manga Studio 5.0.3 on Mac OS 10.7.5. Yup, I’m behind the times.) 


There are a few options to beat the lag: 

1. Quit Stuff
Bye bye, YouTube. See ya, Skype. Later, Tumblr.

Save your computer’s processor by quitting RAM-hogging apps and tasks while painting. Streaming audio/video will drastically reduce performance, but even leaving browsers open can slow things down, so best to just close it up. Guess that rules out Spotify, but then there’s always ye olde Zune. Gotta love cringing through those high school playlists while working.


2. Change Preferences
Easier than changing your mind, and quicker too.

Check under the hood of Manga Studio’s Preferences for a few speed boosts. Do the following in these sub menus:

Preferences/Tablet/Tablet Settings: Change from 1 to 6 (I believe this option is Mac only).

Preferences/Performance/Undo: Lower the Undo count. Try taking it down 10-15 notches from default. You could also turn up that long-titled setting (“Delay before recognizing new object…”) by 100 ms, but I haven’t figured out what that does exactly…

Preferences/Cursor/Display Position of Reversed Cursor: Make sure to check “No Delay”.

After changing preferences, it’s a good idea to close and reopen Manga Studio.


3. Modify Brush Tool Settings
Your brushes may take it personally, but remember you’re in charge here.

The Tool Settings window is a wealth of options for customizing brushes. Some are more processor-intensive than others. Here are a few of the best ones to modify: (Note: the look and behavior of brushes may be affected. You may want to duplicate and/or export a brush before changing its settings.)

Tool Settings/Anti-Aliasing: Turn down to “Little” or “None”

Tool Settings/Brush Tip: Reduce the number of materials on your brush.

Tool Settings/Stroke/Space: Increase spacing, but not too much. Brushes are essentially a string of material stamps. A low space setting means a smoother brush, but more work for your computer. Picture it frantically scrubbing a rubber stamp across your canvas. On that note, also make sure Continuous Spraying is not on.

Tool Settings/Watercolor Border: If your brush uses this setting, turn on the “Process After Drag” option. This renders the effect after each brush stroke and saves computing power.

Tool Settings/Correction: Turn off (or decrease) Stabilization, Post Correction, and Brush Stroke.

Tool Settings/Starting and Ending: Turn off all this stuff. Pfffft, who needs it, right?

Here’s a speed test after fiddling with some settings:

 Woooooooo! We’re getting faster! Still a bit laggy, which leads to one last tip:


4. Rework The Canvas
Might as well rework my life goals too.

Okay, disclosure: The two gifs in this post were recorded on a 4500x3000 canvas at 300dpi with a size 500 brush to emphasize lag. This third one is recorded on a 1080x720 canvas at 72dpi with a size 100 brush:

Yes! We’re cruising now! 

Canvas sizing and resolution has a big affect on brush performance. It’s a bit of a conundrum. Getting the best image quality means working at a minimum resolution of 300dpi, which can be taxing for brushes on large canvases. So what to do? Just like traditional paintings start with thumbnail sketches, digital work can start on a low-resolution canvas. Here’s the method:

Set up your canvas normally at the full target resolution. But before drawing anything on the canvas, use the handy tool under Edit/Change Image Resolution. Reduce Resolution to 72dpi. Use this smaller canvas for rough sketching, background filling, blocking in large areas of color, etc. Then increase resolution to 144dpi for building up the body of the painting, still keeping it loose. (I’d recommend switching Interpolate to Hard Outline when increasing resolution.) Finally, blow it up to full resolution and get into the nitty gritty of rendering. This is where you’ll do the crisp line work, highlights, details, etc.

The idea here is to work big to small. This will keep away brush lag by using large brushes on small canvases. As the canvas resolution increases, decrease brush size and work smaller, tightening things up in the process. NOTE: Increasing canvas resolution causes pixilation. Don’t worry about it. This can be cleaned up in the final stages of painting.


Hope this guide is helpful! If lagging persists, remember to check drivers and tablet settings as well. If all else fails, Google’s a good friend ;)

-Armin

Theories (Peter Quill)

Pairing: Peter Quill x OC

Warnings: None…tiny, tiny spoiler for Vol. 2

A/N: This might be complete crap, but I desperately needed to write some Quill. I hammered this out earlier this morning and just did a quick edit, no rewriting. But hopefully it’s post worthy! I think a second part is in order? xD

PART TWO HERE


Originally posted by despairingfever

The sound of bickering voices drifted back from the cockpit, making me roll my eyes. I lowered the manuscript I was flipping through.

“Will you two morons cut it out already?” I hollered. I waited a beat, but the arguing went on. Probably hadn’t even heard me. Anyways, it wasn’t my job to break up the idiotic pissing contest that went on between Rocket and anyone he met. Or at the moment, Drax.

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miko-punch  asked:

Good day! How are you doing today? I have a question. How do you deal with Rouge's legs? Some artists draw her with a human lady's legs but others draw her with noodle legs and I'm not sure which one is correct.

hi! i’m doing fine thanks! well.. i woudn’t dare to say which one is correct since it’s each’s one style,

but if we want to do it the SEGA style we’d have to look at the official art

on official art, Rouge’s body is shaped like a peanut, and her legs are endeed noodles, its a way to do it of course, its very simple too

now, Rouge on 3D model, she hasn’t exactly thin noodles, she has thighs

so i’d just say the one wich is easier to do or the way you like the most is the correct way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hehe hope this was enough understable :D

30 days back to school challenge

day three: what’s in your bag?

i got a new yellow kanken for this school year and i’ve already put some pins on it and it looks so cute!!!!!! i’m so excited to use it for the upcoming school year hahah at first glance it looks so small but it actually fits a lot:0000 so here’s what’s in my bag!

  • a folder: i use this folder for reply slips, notices, my temperature record sheet (which my homeroom teacher checks every morning to make sure we’re not sick) i find it easier to store things i need in the homeroom period in one place so i know where things are when i need them!
  • pencil case: i use a muji pencil box because i wanted to have a pencil case that is easy to carry and could hold a decent amount of pens. this pencil case holds three pens, one mechanical pencil, one eraser, one correction tape, one ruler, a clip, and a stapler. i was actually surprised when i found out that this case could hold so much with its small ass size (side note: the cover for the pencil case is actually the perfect size for my schedule so i sticked the schedule for my classes on there for my easy access!!!)
  • pencil bag: i know i already have a pencil case but hear me out!!! i found having a colour for each subject/class is really convenient and it makes things so much easier when you need to organise things such as planning a study schedule. so, i chose to buy another pencil bag for all my mildliners and some sticky tape (and correction fluid) now that’s a heavy pencil bag but you never know when you need those special supplies:>
  • planner: now we all know we absolutely need a planner to know what we’re doing a hundred percent of the time. a planner is essential for me cus i have no memory so if you tell me about an event that’s weeks away there’s no way i’ll be able to remember that. that’s why i dump all of my schedules into this nice little book and i don’t have to freak out about whether i have a test today.
  • memos: memos are so convenient and useful if you constantly forget things like i do and you need to remind yourself to for example, talk to a teacher during recess or hand in an assignment before lunch, they are also great to doodle on
  • macbook: i use google docs for most of my typed assignments and some of my notes so a notebook is definitely needed for me to work efficiently (unfortunately only some of my teachers allow us using devices during class:( )
  • charger: i bring a charger for both my phone and laptop just in case i forgot to charge the night before to save a life
  • earphones: to me, earphones are an essential whenever i go out because although we’re not allowed to listen to music in class in our school but it’s also nice to wake myself up by listening to music on the way to school and relax a bit with music after school
  • pouch: this pouch carries one lip tint, some lip balm, some moisturising cream, a mirror, and a comb. taking care of my looks wakes me up and keeps me in a good mood:D (plus, i once had lips so dry they started bleeding non-stop, that left me traumatised so i’m never going anywhere without my lip balm again)
  • some candy: i once almost fainted because i had low blood sugar so i say it’s for my health but who are we kidding i just like candy
  • hair tie: i hate sweating,,, i hate hair with sweat even more,,,,,, hair ties saves my ass
  • water bottle: i used to not understand the importance of water but boiii now i know how much i need water,,, i do choir so i usually just drink water when i’m singing and absolutely needed to drink (like after i run in pe) but now that i realised water keeps me awake and peeing a lot i remind myself to at least drink two big bottles of water before school ends:>

woww this was a long post,, i really enjoyed the process of typing this though because i’m reminding myself of what i need to bring for school and make sure i didn’t miss anything. i hope y’all enjoyed this useless information!!!

original post

4

“YES”

I made a little booklet called “YES”. It’s not a comic, more like an illustrated short story- sort of like a Little Golden Book, but instead of for kids it’s for cool tastemakers.

It’s 32 pages (11 illustrations total), black and white, about 5”x7”. Visually it’s SFW, but conceptually it’s NSFW. I made about 200, so I probably won’t run out anytime soon, but who knows? If you want one and are a US resident (international folks: check out this other post for pricing), send $7.50, postage included, via PayPal (and use the “goods and services” option- it’s just easier- and make sure your address is correct!), to thomasherpich@gmail.com (or inquire via that same email address if you’d rather send cash, in which case it’s $7).

*edit: I’ll mention it here if I run out, so order with confidence- I’ve got plenty left.

How to Write a Resume LIKE A BOSS

So you’re ready to assume some responsibility and apply for your first job (or your fifth job or your fiftieth job) and you want some tips on writing a good resume, huh? Well, are you are in luck because 1) I’ve edited and proofed so many resumes I could probably write one for each of my friends without their input and 2) I’ve actually taken some classes on this shit. So, basing this primarily on comments I’ve made while correcting someone else’s resume (and while looking at my own for reference), here are my tips on writing a resume.

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2

I have an Akita named Kal. I picked up Kal for the first time during preproduction for Batman v Superman. I got him in Arkansas, which I was sure was pronounced “Ar-Kansas” before I got there. I said it in front of lots and lots of people, but no one corrected me until I actually got to Arkansas, and they said, “Oh yeah, it’s ‘Arkansaw,’ not ‘Ar-Kansas.’” I thought, “Thanks, everyone else who’s heard me say that.”

poems i would write you | shawn mendes

MY MASTERLIST

word count: 9,018 (i was gonna split this up, but decided to just keep it together. it’s long. put on your favorite sweatpants and grab that bag of hot cheetos you’ve been saving before you dig into this thing.)

author’s note: GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN? BERRY’S BACK, TELL A FRIEND. welcome to the first installment of my college!shawn series, which takes place during Y/N’s (that’s you) freshman year. it’s got fluff, angst, and some pretty stupid decisions on everyone’s part. title from “shot down” by khalid, as per a recommendation from @light-up-shawn. enjoy.


Your name: submit What is this?

i.

Upon your arrival to college, you had been on the receiving end of entirely too much advice from various relatives, older friends, and even strangers. Don’t walk alone at night, don’t sign up for eight AM classes, don’t drink the “jungle juice” at any frat parties.

Your parents had told you to focus on your studies and seek tutoring help if you needed it. Your sister had encouraged you to join a sorority to really be at “the heart” of university life, as if you knew what that meant. The only advice your cousin gave you was to always remember your room key and to pack a pair of shower shoes, the latter of which she accompanied with a shudder - you could piece together that anecdote on your own.

But nobody had prepared you for this particular problem.

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