not sure what else i need

I feel like the concern Sangwoo had was definitely there but it was perceived in a different light by everyone else and that’s what Sangwoo wanted. 

Sangwoo is worried about Bum for sure, Bum is his possession, he doesn’t want harm to come to him unless he is the reason for it. He needs to be able to control every aspect of Bum’s mind and body, if someone else interferes it’s panic inducing. 

Can I help?
  • Yoongi : Hyung need some help cooking?
  • Jin : Yeah sure~
  • Yoongi : what can I do?
  • Jin : Just pass me the onion-
  • Yoongi : okay what else.
  • Jin : And get me cumming.
  • Yoongi : *dumbfounded*
  • Yoongi : I-I ur...C-can I mean- We're-
  • Jin : What takes you so long?! Just get me cumming already please!
  • Yoongi : *flusters* I-I mean... i-if you insist-
  • Jin : it's just in the cupboard right next to you!
  • Yoongi : ???
  • Yoongi : *opens cupboard*
  • Yoongi : ...
  • Yoongi : *Grunt* This here, hyung, is called 'Cumin' fuck sake.

anonymous asked:

Have you seen 1500daysforher's last photo on instagram?I feel there is so much to discuss.1. To begin, she's drinking tomato juice & that's really adorable and tasty but strange choice. 2. she did't lock her phone so what was she checking? Im quite sure it's twitter but I need another opinion. 3. Her hair roots r completely brown not grey so youthful. 4. How beautiful is she honestly?5. Last but not least, those watermelons that are probably bigger than the ones they grow in Arkansas. Lucky Bill

omg you’re so observant I totally missed the fact her phone was unlocked 👀 🔍  It’s hard to tell what she’s checking, it does look a little bit like twitter but the layout is slightly different so unless she’s using a really old version I think it must be something else….it also looks like it could be a webpage possibly 🤔 but anyway I know right!! she looks amazing with her dark roots and her skin is so gorgeously glowing with her little freckles she looks so young ✨


and oh my godd 😂😂😂 Lucky Bill indeed…I wonder if he’s ever used that line like that himself…

anonymous asked:

David in Scott's latest video is saying that he hates the name "Vlog Squad" (nothing new) and he is asking the viewers to help him come up with something else. Didn't the viewers already come up with Vlog Squad? So... what you are telling me is that we didn't do a good job in the first place so we need to do it again? Riggggghhht...Thanks David. I'll be sure to let you know when I think of a new one.

tbh David never should’ve let the name “the vlog squad” catch on if he never liked it…

anonymous asked:

if stridercest is so triggering to you, how about you stop posting hate in the tag and just ignore it? sure, its uncomfortable, but that doesnt make it wrong for people to ship it. YOU are responsible for what content you see- via blocking and blacklisting- not everyone else. aside from that, its all fiction honey, and if you, or anyone else, let yourselves believe that simple fiction can influence someones view on real life events, frankly that person needs to man up and think for themselves.

hey uh buddy there plenty of ships out there that make me uncomfortable, but bc they are healthy and okay ships to ship i let it slide and just blacklist that tag

stridercest on the other hand is NOT and okay ship to ship. is pedophila, incest, non-con, abusive, and 99.99% of the time fetishizing mlm relationships 

tumblr is not a functional website sweetie it ends up on ur dash no matter what

fiction affects reality hugely, here are sources for that so im not just being a baby and not thinking for myself 

x x x x x x x x  

take ur pick :)

Unpopular Voltron opinion, with meta to back it up.

I don’t think the big Keith and Lance scene in episode 6 was meant to be seen as having gone well, or for things to be getting back on track in regards to Lance’s doubts. I’m actually pretty sure the conversation unintentionally made things with Lance even worse.

Just because Keith and Lance shared a scene alone together, without any fighting or outward disagreements, does NOT mean it went well. I know everyone who is a Klance shipper wants that to be the case, but the whole “5 feet apart” jokes and logic with their ship shouldn’t suddenly change the emotional tone that is ACTUALLY present here.

Do not get me wrong, it is clear that both of them wanted this talk to go well without any confrontation, and to talk with a level head and with honesty. They have both grown as people to realize this. It doesn’t mean there wasn’t a major miscommunication here. 

Lets go through this moment by moment, shall we?

Keep reading

It’s OK if it’s not easy for you

So generally, I’m a good internet citizen, and as a rule, I don’t read the comments. On anything. Ever. With some of the publicity that the UfYH book has been getting lately, though, I’ll admit to briefly losing reason from time to time and reading some comments. And there’s one kind of comment I keep coming across that makes me want to scream:

“This is so stupid. I mean, it’s so easy. Just clean up your house. No need for lists or tricks. Just clean it.”

“Can’t this whole article be shortened up to: don’t be a slob?”

“Ugh, how hard is it these days that we need all these ways of telling people how to clean?“

And I always refrain from responding, because I haven’t completely taken leave of my senses, but here’s what I always want to say:

“If you think it’s easy, then this isn’t for you.” That’s it. If you think it’s easy, or stupid, or unnecessary, UfYH wasn’t meant for you. If you think articles and books about cleaning are pointless, well, I’m not sure why you read them except to be a jerk about it in comments. It’s meant for everyone else. For people who don’t know how to clean. Or who don’t know where to start. For people who can’t do it the way they were taught because that takes energy or mobility that they don’t have. For people who are overwhelmed. Or ashamed. It’s OK to be any or all of those things, no matter what sanctimonious strangers on the internet say. If you’re any of those things and you’re here, you’re using the resources you can find to try to make things better for yourself. Isn’t that the point of the internet (well, that and cute animal gifs)?

Screw those jerks who think that because it’s easy for them, that it’s easy for everybody. It’s not. Don’t let them fool you into thinking you’re somehow lesser in any way because you don’t innately know or instinctively do this stuff. There are way more of us than there are of them; we just usually keep quiet about it for any number of reasons (shame, fear, judgment, frustration…). They can go feel smug about their clean houses or whatever somewhere else. Now, go clean, be awesome, and don’t read the comments.

Things I love about each type!! based on multiple personal experiences

ENFJ love: You genuinely care about your family. You’re softies. You have a way of making everyone listen to you and believe you, no matter what. That inspires an inner leader in me, well done. You’re usually great at making friends and meeting new people.

ENFP love: You are energetic when around people you like, which is almost all the time. I see you have a longing to deeply connect with people. You are attracted to people that you want to be, or have qualities you wish you had. You are intelligent, so stop acting dumb. My time spent with you is never wasted, I always learn something, and feel loved. Thanks for the brilliant and accurate compliments btw.

ENTJ love: You are strong. I can say evil and inappropriate things in front of you that would be considered socially strange and you either add on to it or laugh, rather than calling the police or my therapist. You are passionate. You secretly want people to like you instead of just follow you.

ENTP love: We don’t have conversations, we have discussions. It’s beautiful. I’ve never heard you engage in small talk. Your emotions are intense. I love how all you do is argue and debate and invent. I need you in my life.

ESFJ love: You are the most loyal and caring people I’ve ever met. You just want to have fun, and make sure everyone else is having fun. You cry openly, but loathe doing it. Despite what you think, people like you, okay? You are likable. Also, learn to turn your back on people who turn their back on you.

ESFP love: Nothing will stop you. NOTHING. Nobody could survive the way you do. You have endless energy and love. You are deeper than the internet says. You people have inspiring messages, and you’re never done saying yes. Everyone knows your name.

ESTJ love: You’re bluntness inspires me. You are true to yourself. You won’t let things get you down. You are trustworthy. You don’t care about popular society norms. You are crazy and hilarious, your quotes are memorable. Fabulous story tellers. Fucking brave, ruthless, and metal as fuck.

ESTP love: The perfect amount of sadistic. Reliable and loyal. You are strangely seductive and charming. You know what you want. Decisive.

INFJ love: I want to be more like you. I’ve always been drawn to you people. You are incredibly organised. The definition of saying nothing and thinking about everything. You have a likeness for the strange and for the antique. Old souls.

INFP love: Attracted to the fucked up things in the world. Wallow in your own sadness swamp, and don’t want to get me involved. You guys always put others before you. Way too selfless.

INTJ love: The way you think. You make people worried, angry, and laugh without trying. In fact, you have no clue what you do that makes them feel that way. Keep going.

INTP love: You are mental. You have an amazing brain but you don’t train it hard enough. Smarter than people think. Generally funny.

ISFJ love: I love that when you are angry or drunk you guys are always the boss. Great leaders because you see what you’re capable of and cater to people specifically. Will do anything for the people you love, or people who are going through a shitty time.

ISFP love: You live in beautiful spaces. You keep to yourselves. I love that you guys love me. Somehow you see the best in people. You are all secretly emo.

ISTJ love: I actually trust you. If someone tells you something or if you see or hear something you aren’t supposed to, you keep it to yourself even if people hound you for it. A brilliant friend, you won’t lie to them. Interested in things that make you think. Strong moral compass.

ISTP love: Soft, yet hard. Extremely quiet, but when you speak and contribute you make everything better. Problem solvers. Disappears all the time, people don’t question it anymore. Really hard to hate.

 written by an INTJ female

Things I hate about each type!! based on multiple personal experiences 

University classes are a monster you can’t prepare for until you’re in them. I have been through every up and down with schoolwork possible in the past year, so here are some tips that can hopefully help you avoid those downs:

Choosing and Registering for Your Classes

  • Make sure to thoroughly check both your major requirements and your gen ed requirements. Normally, you’ll have an advisor to help you make sure you’re on track, but Vandy doesn’t assign first-year engineering students one until after registration when school starts, and I didn’t have an advisor for this year’s registration either due to my major change, so I’ve spent hours and hours doing this on my own. There’s often recommended courses and example schedules in the course catalog that tell you what classes you should be taking at this point in time. Pay attention to that and you should be fine. For example, you have to have taken a first-level writing class to qualify for junior standing here. Those are the little things you have to look out for. To keep track of it all, I have a spreadsheet I use for planning my sophomore - senior years that lists all the requirements I need to meet in terms of hours and courses in order to graduate on time. I plug in possible courses and see which requirement they would fulfill and when. You can check it out here to see what I mean, it’s very helpful.
  • Find at least one fun elective to take if at all possible. It gets very tiring when all you have on your schedule are really difficult classes that you don’t enjoy. Try to find at least one class that you’re genuinely interested in to help get you excited for the day. Each of my last semesters, my schedule consisted of a calculus class, a lab science, a comp sci class, and Italian. Italian was the only fun one that I enjoyed going to. It really helps you out. You’re not just in college to get your degree, you’re there to discover what you really want to do, so feel free to explore your catalog and take something completely out of character just because you want to. Bonus if it fills some kind of requirement (Italian filled my Foreign Language Proficiency and one of my International Cultures reqs.).
  • Have multiple versions of your schedule based on which classes you may or may not get into. I don’t know about your school, but at Vanderbilt, class registration is literally like the Hunger Games. You’re assigned an enrollment date based on your year (seniors get to go first, then juniors, etc.) and at 8 am on that day, you refresh the website and either enroll in your classes or get placed on the wait list for it. If you’re a freshman, you’re basically screwed because you go last, and so you could have planned out your perfect schedule only to find they’ve all filled up the day before your enrollment period starts. To avoid having to scramble, have multiple versions of your schedule, with back ups and substitutions for every class. This way, you won’t be surprised when you go to enroll and all but one of your classes are filled, then you have to search for other classes, but at that point, all that’s left are scraps that don’t fit your requirements. Plan plan plan and practice clicking the enroll button on all your classes as fast as you can for when the clock strikes 8.
  • You have freedom over your schedule now; take advantage of that! No more 8-3 Monday through Friday; you can take classes whenever you want. I prefer to have all my classes on MWF in a block of a few hours and only one or no class on TR. Of course, sometimes you’re going to have to take classes at less optimal times, but do try to accommodate yourself and take classes at times you know will be good for you. Lots of people prefer to start early and finish early, while I like to start no earlier than 11, even if I don’t finish until 5. The best part of college is you can do what you want.
  • Don’t take 8 ams. I’m repeating this cause it’s important. I swear, you’ll regret it. In high school, I woke up every morning early as hell to catch my bus at 6:30, but in college, it was nearly impossible for me to get up for my 11 am only three times a week. Don’t ever take an 8 am by choice. And if you have no choice, good luck lol.
  • Don’t be afraid to drop a class. If you’re doing terribly in a class or you absolutely can’t stand it, drop the class. There’s a very little chance that if you’re failing during the first half of the semester, you’ll be able to change your grade dramatically in the second half. Maybe you decided to be an overzealous freshman and signed up for the maximum number of hours possible and now you’re drowning. Drop a class! Sometimes, a course is going to do more harm to you than good, so it’s best to get rid of it than have an F or a W on your transcript.
  • Use RateMyProfessor! I totally forgot about this when I originally posted this and it’s already got almost 1,000 notes but hopefully people see this. RateMyProfessor is so fucking useful. It’s IMPERATIVE that you check this website before you enroll in classes. Someone at Vandy actually made a Chrome extension for our enrollment website that automatically shows a professor’s ranking while you’re looking for classes. Obviously, take it with a grain of salt, and make sure the reviews actually make valid points about the workload and class and isn’t just someone bitter about failing. I took calc with a professor who taught at my high school just cause she taught at my high school even though her reviews said she was insanely difficult and the class was near impossible to pass. Guess what? They were right and I failed as did a big chunk of everyone else in her class. You don’t have to let RMP dictate your schedule, but definitely check it out, and if everyone says the professor is awful, don’t fucking take them. 

Attending Your Classes

  • Establish a connection with your professor early. I recommended introducing yourself on the first day of class just so they know your name and face in another post. It’d be even better to attend an office hour or review session or something. Just make sure they know you. It’ll be easier to communicate when you need something later in the semester if it isn’t their first time seeing you.
  • Actually use this connection with your professors. In my experience, they can be pretty understanding and when you’re in a bad place, they’ll likely help you out. If something is preventing you from doing your best in class, go to them for help (I didn’t go to many office hours but I wish I did! Who better to explain to you something you don’t understand than the person who grades you on it?) or explain to them your situation. I had professors let me take tests late and redo assignments due to my mental health after I explained to them I wasn’t just a terrible student; if it wasn’t for this, I would’ve failed all of their classes. Maybe at the end of the semester they’ll drop one of your wonky grades or bump you up that extra half point you need. Your professors are a resource, and it’s up to you to use it.
  • Take notes however you want. I used my laptop in some, paper in others, and even my iPad and a stylus for calculus. In all of your classes will be a mixture of different techniques and no one cares what you do. Whatever works best for you and helps you get down the most information is what you should do. Also, you don’t have to write down everything. If your professor uses slides and posts them for you to download, you don’t really have to write down anything at all unless they add extra points, so that’s really convenient. 
  • You don’t have to sit in the front. As long as you can see and hear, which you’ll likely be able to due to large projection screens and microphones, it literally doesn’t matter where you sit. In my experience, the professors call on people from every part of the lecture hall, so everyone gets an equal chance at participation. It’s up to yourself to make sure you can pay attention, not your seat.
  • Do your best to attend every single class meeting. It’s inevitable that you’re going to miss class at some point; you will get sick, you won’t have finished an assignment, you’ll need a mental health day, something will happen. Missing class can too easily become a habit if you do it often, so try to never do it. Don’t force yourself to go if you can’t handle it, obviously your health always comes first, but I mean don’t skip cause you want to sleep in or cause you just don’t feel like going. If you do have to miss class and 1) you have a good reason for it (i.e. sickness) and 2) it’s a class small enough that your professor will notice you’re not there, email them and let them know why, just so they’re aware you’re not just skipping to skip.  
  • Try to make friends in your classes. A little study group would be even better. It’ll be really useful to have someone who can help you with a homework question you don’t understand or send you their notes when you miss a class. It can also be great to study with other people, depending on how you study best. I’ve had friends in all my classes so far and it’s been a great help, even if we just complained about the test we just failed then went to get pizza.

Tackling the Coursework

  • Make a REALISTIC study schedule. The key word here is realistic. During winter break I made a study schedule that started with me waking up at 8 am every morning to go work out and ended with me going to sleep promptly at 11 or midnight after spending literally the entire day studying with breaks only for meals. No breaks on weekends, no room to socialize, and I thought this would be perfectly fine for me to follow. Of course, I didn’t last a week because that was fucking ridiculous. You don’t need to schedule every hour of your day; college doesn’t work like that. Just do something simple, an hour for a class or maybe less depending on how hard it is and if you have a test coming up. Trust your instincts. There’s no need to go overboard, and you don’t need to spend six hours a day working, just dedicate a time to studying and stick with that.
  • Explore study techniques until you find one that works for you. Everyone doesn’t study the same, so if you do what everyone else is doing you might not get the results you want. Even if you had a great system in high school, it might not be fitting for college, so check out a bunch of different methods and see how you do with them. Once you find the best way you study, you’ll be unstoppable when exam time comes.
  • Start your assignments early, as soon as you can after they’re assigned. There’s nothing worse than having a bunch of assignments/tests/papers due on the same day and you haven’t finished any of them. Trust me, it is so much less stressful to complete an assignment as soon as you can after it’s been assigned so you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Putting things off has much more severe consequences than it did in high school and you will regret procrastinating. If you have a weekly assignment due every Friday, try to complete them by Wednesday every week. At the very least, start an assignment the day you get it even if you can’t finish it that day. It’s a lot easier to do something after you’ve already begun working on it, and that one thing you do is progress.
  • The name of the college game is prioritization. If college teaches you anything, it’s how to prioritize your duties. You need to create a hierarchy of importance for your classes and types of assignments. For me, calculus assignments were always done first because that was the most difficult class and the one I absolutely needed to pass, and Italian was always done last cause it was my easiest class and I could complete even our biggest assignments in one day. You’re going to have a very large amount of work and sometimes you have to sacrifice finishing a small homework assignment to finish a huge paper or study for an exam. I liked to complete my hardest/longest assignments right when I got back from class to get them over with and leave my easier ones for later. Prioritizing is essential if you want to succeed in university, so learn how to do it immediately! 
  • Remember that uni is really difficult and your grades don’t define you. Something I learned the hard way is that sometimes you can try really really hard, do the best you can, and still fail. That’s just life. Sometimes you have to do something a million times before you get it right, or before you discover that it just isn’t right for you at all. I worked harder than I ever had this past year, and what I got in return was two failed classes, two D’s, academic probation, and a 2.3 GPA. Actually, my current GPA isn’t even a 2.3, it’s a 2.295, which is probably blasphemy to the studyblr community, but this shit happens. It happens to all of us and it sucks. It can be really shitty to feel like your effort wasn’t reflected in your result. What you need to do is adjust your expectations and keep working hard. After you hit your stride, your grades could be great in no time. Or you could discover that math or science or english just isn’t for you. Maybe you’ll discover university as a whole isn’t right for you, and that’s okay! Bad grades, whether you define that as a B or an F, don’t mean you’re a bad student or a bad person. You do what you can, and then let go of what you can’t control. The sooner you grasp this idea, and the sooner you learn to be gentle with yourself, the easier a time you’ll have.

So I feel like I forgot a lot of things but also this is pretty long so I’m going to end the post here. If you have any further questions or topics for a post you’d like to see, my inbox is always open. I don’t know which post is coming next, but I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for reading and I hope this helped you out!

Previous Posts:

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Make sure you’re getting enough protien. Crack the bones and get at the marrow.

Taurus: You want something done right? Create several clones of yourself and make them fight.

Gemini: You will make an impression at your next job interview when you slam into it at terminal velocity.

Cancer: Your destiny is covered in sticky stuff.

Leo: The connections are many. Some of them should absolutely die. Others will bring you comfort if they stay.

Virgo: Be wary of those you have bested time and time again. People learn from defeat.

Libra: Sorry to say this but something is actually eating your socks. Call an exterminator.

Scorpio: What else are you gonna do with your time? Not make dick jokes?

Ophiuchus: Be sure to have a good firm grip on the obvious before you move on to the hard stuff.

Sagittarius: This is the swamp of your discontent. This is the estuary of your confusion.

Capricorn: Be prepared for a big change, you’ll need a new arm hole in your shirts but I am not sure where.

Aquarius: No fortune today, the stars handed me a drift wood carving of you. It’s quite pretty.

Pisces: Get in your own way. Only you can stop yourself.

How to Flirt: Embarrassed Boy Edition

Summary: As soon as the first ever Cold Stone Creamery opens up in London, Phil knew he had to go. However, it wasn’t the ice cream that made him keep coming back, but rather the cute employee who looks dead in the eyes whenever he has to sing the tip jar songs.
Word Count: 4,405
Warnings: Food mentions, cussing
A/N: thanks so much to @greynihilism for prompting me this!!! I honestly love this SO MUCH. And of course thanks to @snowbunnylester for listening to me shout and for telling me to match our titles bc we are disgusting soulmates. I didn’t edit this but i’m too excited about it so idgaf! Hope you like it! 

Read it on AO3!

-  

When a new Cold Stone Creamery opened up in London, it was the biggest thing since sliced bread. Literally everyone had to try some, to get some for themselves, that way they could boast to their friends and family how they got to try it.

Phil was guilty of this. He was a slut for only two things, and those were ice cream and new shops. So when he heard a new ice cream shop was opening up? Phil pretty much shit himself. He gathered all of his friends, sat them down, and explained the situation to them. He didn’t want to say he forced them to come with him, because he didn’t. He just calmly insisted that they come with him and didn’t let them leave the room until they agreed. No biggie.

That’s how he found himself inside of Cold Stone with Kiley, Charles, and Michael. Phil was the only one who was so excited that he couldn’t stop bouncing on the balls of his feet. His friends were chattering beside him, waiting patiently for the line to go down so they could finally order, but Phil was having trouble being patient. He wanted his ice cream and he wanted it now. There were still five people in front of him and he wanted to push them all out of the way so he could order his own ice cream and press his face to the counter glass like an annoying child.

Keep reading

No one on this damn website cares about trans men. I know y'all don’t, cuz I am one and I see y'all’s posts, and they are all about One Specific Kind of trans man: white skinny teenage feminine trans men. And y'know what? Y'all erase their identities as men constantly. And y'know what else? Y'all don’t give a flying fuck and a half about masculine trans men at all, and I am sick of it.

The big thing y'all need to understand here: trans men are men. Real actual men, whether they feel more comfortable being more typically feminine or masculine. They aren’t Diet Man, or safe exceptions if men make you uncomfortable. They are 100% Genuine Male. And fucking hell, some of y'all don’t even call us men, you fucking call us boys. Sure, that may be okay for teenagers, but a lot of us aren’t teenagers, we’re actual adults. Actual grown adult men, whether you think so or not. I’m sorry you can’t handle that reality, you soggy lima beans. Shiver me fucking timbers, me laddie.

The one thing I am most tired of seeing on this damn website is masculinity being treated as some Great Evil that must be Defeated at the hands of Tumblr’s LGBT+ Puritans and impressionable teenage cishet girls. Masculinity is not inherently bad or good, it just is and it just exists. It’s a social construct. And I hate fucking saying that because it makes it sound ignorable and even fake. Masculinity is hugely important to me, and I find a lot of self-confidence and a lot of my own identity in masculinity, and I bet I’m not the only trans man out there like that. I bet I’m not the only trans man out there who wants to live up to masculine stereotypes because it makes us feel better and helps keep dysphoria at bay. Y'all will bend over backwards and do a handstand on your fucking pinky finger for trans women to celebrate their femininity and feel comfortable in their own skins, but what about trans men? What about us? You can’t just support only one kind of trans person! That isn’t supporting trans people! You gotta support trans men and celebrate their masculinity with them and bend over backwards for them, too! You gotta support trans men and non-binary people if you’re gonna support ALL trans people. Otherwise, you might as well support none of us. All or none. Go big or go the fuck home and don’t even think about coming back until you’re ready to open your arms wide and support All of Us.

And god fucking dammit, if I have to give masculine trans men all the positivity and love they deserve all by my fucking self, you bet your shitty little ass I will. Masculine trans men deserve fucking Olympic gold medals for dealing with the shit this hellsite spews at them when they try and turn to it for something positive.

firstly, feel free to request more french masterposts. 
flirting in french; god, how i would love to be smooth in any language.
seriously, if i could neal caffrey my way through france, that would be great. so, this is a masterpost on how to flirt in french. - i’d like to think this is pretty important - as this is part of socializing in any language. flirtation is a very different thing than “picking up.” picking up is a kind of hunting game with a very pointed and invariable goal: to be making out as soon as possible! think barney from how i met your mother challenge accepted. flirtation, at least in france, is a totally different thing. it’s a different culture, a different lifestyle. it’s a way of being in everyday life, and unlike picking up, it has no defined goal. sometimes the french flirt because it’s just delightful to do so. think salt to pepper relationship. allowing each one to check, and at different levels, if he or she still has some charm operating. 

i would say that simple is always best: merely walk up to your chosen girl or guy and say je vous trouve absolument charmante (I find you absolutely charming / beautiful. be classy and to the point. with that and mind, read on!

let’s learn some classic phrases to become a regular femme fatale, shall we?

so; why flirt in french?

  • well, french is a sexy language. not going to lie. 
  • it’s the planet’s most-hyped language of love.
  • reaching that level of fluency feels amazing.
  • it gives you that confidence. social confidence.
  • becoming a smooth talker feels nice. i want to be one, anyway. 
  • tired of searching for love in english? 

french learning and french flirting 

  • let’s face it: in france, (or in any country for that matter), nobody speaks like a textbook, the president, or a language learning site (i’m looking at you, duolingo). it’s great for memorizing the fundamentals, but lacks that extra step that stands between you and complete fluency. 
  • flirting is part of socializing - and linguistically (i don’t know, it helped with me) it improves retention. it’s also just interesting to learn! 
  • flirting is just well.. fun. even if it doesn’t go anywhere.
  • a bit of verbal charm isn’t always necessary : but in my opinion, it helps you sound more natural / at ease / friendly. 
  • i somewhat lack verbal charm (i’m very, very awkward in social situations) so i probably need this masterpost as much as anyone else (: 

the classics: make love last. 
this is based upon what i’ve heard at school / restaurants / bars. 
okay fine: it’s based on the movies i’ve watched too. 

  • j’ai envie de t’embrasser / embrasse-moi - kiss me.. annouce it - make your intentions known! i’d like to kiss you’ - okay, you could just kiss someone instead of letting them know. but i don’t know.. there’s something romantic about it? best with a longing, meaningful stare. 
  • je t’aime: i’m pretty sure we all know this one. best with someone you care deeply for, i wouldn’t say this on a first date - but if you’re the direct type : this can help you get from a to z pretty quickly. 

the simple compliments: short and sweet
using these with a flirty look / tone of voice (as i’ve seen amongst my friends) can do wonders. play with your expression while practicing these: it makes a difference, trust me. you can begin with (oh putain) to make it sound authentic. it’s not (really) a ‘swear word’ and people use it often. best used in an informal setting. example: putain, t’es toujours canon toi ou quoi?

you can also add trop ( = too). example: trop belle, trop mignon(ne).
you can also add tellement ( = so) example: t’es tellement belle!
you can also add si ( = so) example: t’es si mignonne.
you can also use grave ( = totally) example: t’es grave belle. 

  • t’es mignon(ne).
  • t’es belle (/beau), toi. 
  • t’es canon. ( = you’re smoking hot). 
  • t’es con(ne). ( = you’re an idiot) - i’ve seen this used a lot flirtatiously.
  • t’es drôle. ( = you’re funny)
  • t’es magnifique. 
  • t’es charmant(e). 
  • t'es coquin / coquine! ( = you’re such a tease.)

the ‘social and the flirty’ 
inspired by my class facebook chat and group. some of them are direct quotes (:
these can be used as compliments / or flirtatiously. depends on your relationship with the person you’re giving them to. 

  • cette beauté chaton, tu m’ éblouie. ( = you dazzle me with your beauty.)
  • une beauté divine. ( = a divine beauty or: you’re so divine.)
  • ouloulouloulouloulou. ( = you really have to hear this one.)
  • tu brilles de mille feux.
  • j'te pécho. ( = like the equivalent of ‘to pick up someone’ in english). 
  • bg, or beau / belle gosse ( = hot guy, hot girl). 
  • une petite merveille. ( = a wonder, someone to be marveled at). 
  • une bombe. ( = bombshell, someone pretty - same thing as ‘belle gosse’.)
  • le petit côté mystérieux femme fatale je kiffe. - je kiffe means i like. 
  • la beauté à l état pur ( = beauty at its purest form). 
  • dingue! ( = crazy, as in crazy beautiful). 
  • j'ai pas les mots.( = i have no words). 
  • wahhh, la classe! ( = classy!)
  • c’est fou, tant de beauté ( = you’re so beautiful, it’s crazy.)

flirting at a bar or restaurant? 

  • t’as d’beaux yeux, tu sais? the phrase ‘you’ve got beautiful eyes’ pretty much works in any language (though, i think it sounds extra gorgeous in french). the phrase actually comes from a french film called le quai des brumes. fair warning: this is an extreme cliché, : it’s basically the english equivalent of do you come here often? it can be said ironically, if you’re not the cliché type. best with a wink and a devilish smile (; 
  • je peux t’offrir / vous (formal) une verre ? : can i buy you a drink?
  • vous êtes célibataire ? mais comment est-ce possible ? - you’re single? but how’s that possible? 
  • vous venez souvent ici ? - do you come here often? ha, classic.  a phrase that transcends cultural barriers: “ the sentence could be followed up by complaints — about the bartender, about the clients or about how the bar isn’t as good as it used to be. a french tradition is râler, a sort of complaining. finding things to complain about is a way that many french people choose to bond with new acquaintances. this is not true of anyone.
  • t’as une miette (you’ve got a crumb) as you pretend to stroke something off of someone’s face, first with your fingers, then with your lips.
  • tu m’excites ! ( = you turn me on.)
  • “j’ai une première édition de ‘à la recherche du temps perdu.’ tu veux le voir ?” -  i have the first edition of “in search of lost time. (written by proust). do you want to see it?” in france (for me, at least) cultural knowledge is sexy. in America, we often ask if you’d like a nightcap. choose something cultural and intellectual in france, and you’re far more likely to get a oui.
  • je veux te revoir. ( = i want to see you again.) 
  • alors, ça roule? ( = how you doin’ - joey, friends.)
  • excuse-moi. est-ce que t’embrasses les inconnus ? non ? donc, je me présente. excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? then let me introduce myself.
  • excuse-moi, j'ai perdu mon numero de téléphone. est-ce que je peux t'emprunter le tien?“ excuse me, i seem to have lost my phone number. could I borrow yours? 

let me know if you’d like to know more! you can never be too charming (:

2

Guys, Its now been confirmed Camila will appear at the Teen Choice Awards’s tomorrow. It’s also been confirmed that Fifth Harmony will also be appearing too. What perfect timing for the girls to publicly interact for the first time since C’s departure and put all this drama to bed. Congratulate each others success and hug it out? Maybe a dedication of awards to one and other? Oh wait, who am I kidding. Management will make sure the girls COMPLETELY avoid each other and be clear there’s NO interaction what so ever between the girls. Is it just me or is anyone else secretly hoping theres a glitch in the seating plan and all 5 end up sat together? Wheres good karma when you need it?

lordmushroomkat  asked:

Writing request. Klance. Mutual pining. Supportive mechanical telepathic cat-parents.

man i feel like I could easily write 15 000 words about this haha. Trying to make this idea small is hard, but let’s give it a go. 

“So what do we do? We’re a paladin down now.” Pidge states. It’s a topic they’ve been dancing around. Shiro is gone, and yes of course they will find him again, but until then they can’t just… not form Voltron. 

“Keith takes black. Yeah ok, so that’s resolved.” Pidge continues.

“Are we honestly…” Lance starts to interrupt.

“But there’s STILL five lions.” Pidge shoots Lance a look. She knows he wants to argue the leader Keith point, but that’s another discussion. 

“We need another paladin.” She concludes. The group all stare at each other, not sure of what to suggest. The air is stale. 

“I….” Allura starts. Coran grabs her arm protectively. She turns to him with an understanding smile, pats his hand, and steps out of his grip.

“I will fill in.” Her commanding voice rings in the Lion’s hangar. Hunk nervously wrings his hands. Keith looks skeptical. 

“Princess, we need you to…”

“Who else do we have?!” Allura implores. “No one knows the lions like I do. I’m already a part of this team, so it’ll be easier for me to bond than some outsider!”  

The others all share a look. It had to be Allura. Of course it did. But it was a shame that it had to come to this. 

“Who will you pilot?” Hunk moves the discussion forward. Allura smiles and taps her chin thoughtfully. Her eyes move around to look at all the lions. She sighs at a fond memory. 

“My father was the red paladin, and if Keith is piloting black then…” Allura steps towards the red lion. She smiles and places her hand on its barrier. It vibrates under her touch, but does not break.

“It just seems logical.” There’s fondness in her blue eyes. She leans forward and places both palms on the barrier.

“Of course there is the issue of the red lion being the most temperamental so…” Allura laughs. The barrier doesn’t budge under her. Still keeping her out. Keith shakes his head. 

“She doesn’t like it when you call her that.” He sings.

Allura winces. She pats the barrier gently. 

“Ah, sorry girl. I didn’t mean it.” She coos. “I understand how important your paladin is. I know how much you need to trust them. I don’t want to push, but please… please I need you to…” Allura pauses. Her mouth goes taut. She stares at the giant beast in front of her trying to sense it. She leans against the barrier with a frustrated sigh. 

“How did you do this, Keith? I can tell this isn’t working at all.”

“I blasted myself out of an airlock if you must know.”

“Guys, guys,” Lance holds up his hands. “You’re going about this all wrong. For blue and I…. it was like love at first sight!” Lance saunters over to where Allura stands. 

“Your lion is your lady, and she has to know that you are going to love and respect her. You can’t grovel, you gotta woo her.” Lance stands next to Allura. 

“Mind if I show you?” He grins. Allura rolls her eyes.

“Oh yes please. Demonstrate for all of us.” 

Lance rises to the bait. He clears his throat. 

“Hello Red, you look radiant as always. Would it be ok if I spent the evening with you?” He raises his hand to knock on the barrier. 

He immediately falls through. With a vibration and a crackle, he stumbles into the red lions perimeter. He catches himself before he eats cement. He turns to beam at everyone. They look on with disbelief. Particularly Keith.

“See!” Lance exclaims happily. His voice sounds distant and crackly inside the barrier. “Just like that!” He turns to shoot finger guns at the red lion. “Thanks red, you’re beautiful. i love you. Ok Allura, if you just want to…”

Lance bumps against the barrier.

He stares at it in confusion. He tries to step forward and bumps against it once more.

‘What…?” He whispers. 

“Oh no…” Allura stares. Pidge’s eyes widen. Keith starts to look manic. 

Allura, Hunk and Pidge all touch the barrier. None of them can get in.

And Lance can’t get out.

Lance starts to push harder against the barrier. 

“Guys, I can’t…. how do I…?”

“Lance, Lance…” Allura shakes her head. She holds his gaze through the barrier. 

“She’s chosen you.”

Lance’s chest goes cold. He turns over his shoulder to look at the monstrous lion. The red glow around him is bright and hurts his eyes. Nothing like the soothing aura of Blue.

“What?! No! No! Nononono! Blue’s my lion! I’m not giving her up!” Lance beats on the barrier. it flickers underneath his fists. 

“Let me out! Keith! Come talk to your lion! Get me out of here! Tell her I can’t do this! I WON’T do this!”

“Lance, it’s ok. I’m coming I’ll…” Keith smacks into the barrier. So confident that it would peel away for him, that he hadn’t even tried to slow down. He rubs his knee that collided and hisses. He raises his hand to the barrier and pushes. It firmly pushes back. 

“Lance…” He breathily whispers. Lance places his palm opposite Keith’s, so they look like they are touching, but the barrier crackles firmly between them.

“I can’t get in.” His breath shakes with emotion. “She wants you. She’s chosen you.”

Lance blinks away tears. 

“B…but Blue. Blue’s mine. No one can….”

Soft footfalls echo across the hangar. Allura has taken off and runs towards where Blue stands. At a full sprint, she charges forwards and Blue’s barrier easily dissolves around her.

“Alright!” Alurra gives a victorious cheer. Blue lurches forward, opening its mouth ready for Allura to board. 

Lance’s heart breaks. He falls forward. Keith worries his lip and presses himself as close to Lance as he can. Hunk and Pidge wisely walk away. 

“Lance. Lance, I’m so sorry.” Keith whispers. His voice rattles in the comms of Lance’s helmet. 

“But out of everyone here…Red has chosen you. She needs you. Can’t you feel her?”

“But she’s yours, Keith. She’s yours and you’re hers.” Lance’s voice trembles. He looks up into Keith’s face. 

“I know. And she’ll always be mine so….” Keith swallows. “I’ll need you to take really good care of her. She’s trusting you, Lance. I’m trusting you.” Keith looks up with glassy eyes. Blue may have let Allura in, but here Red was actively locking her own paladin out. A surge of sympathy courses through Lance.

“Keith, I’ll…”

Metallic whirring causes lance to turn. Red has bowed down and opened her mouth wide, inviting Lance in.

“You have to go.” Keith states and turns to leave. Lance goes to grab him, but his hand smacks painfully against the barrier.

“Keith wait!” He calls. Keith pauses. His eyebrows knit together and he waits. Lance steps back from the barrier with a frustrated sigh. 

“If I…If I could hug you I would.” He announces. Keith’s eyes widen. 

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One in a Million

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Can you write a short where Seb abd Bucky are in the same universe and they meet. But the reader is dating one of them and hangs out with the other one then her bf gets jealous at the end with fluff please?? Requested by Anonymous

Word Count:1,816

Warnings: Language, Mention of Alzheimer, Tiny Angst, Fluff

A/N: And Happy Birthday Sebby! This is probably not what you had in mind, but it’s what I came up with. I don’t write rpf so Seb is not a Stan ;) I made that gif, you’re welcome to use it.

“Babe?” you called out to Bucky once you noticed him. You were supposed to meet at your favourite coffee shop for lunch and your boyfriend was standing at the hand-off counter, patiently waiting for his cup of coffee.

When he didn’t turn around, you walked over to him and slid your arms around his waist. You didn’t notice how the man tensed and straightened himself up. You nuzzled his neck and placed a soft kiss on his jawline.

“Um, you cut your hair?” The man gave you a little shove and you took a step back to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

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10 Tips for Writing (Good) Smut

so. let’s do this.

About a year ago, I had to read a book for my school’s summer reading assignment called How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas Foster. It’s not a bad book, pretty decent actually, but there was this one chapter about sex scenes in literature. And one of the first sentences was along the lines of “writing sex is boring.”

and I did a double-take. Bc in my experience, that is absolutely not the case, and if you do find yourself bored while writing smut, then you’re not doing it right. See, Thomas’s main argument was that there’s only so many ways you can write sex scenes, because there’s only so many sex acts you can choose from. (My boy Thomas is clearly a vanilla dude, but let’s not hold that against him.) 

But one of the most important things to keep in mind while writing smut is that it’s not necessarily just about the act itself. So while Thomas is right that there are limits as to how many ways ppl can have sex, he failed to realize that writing sex is about a LOT more than that. And I’m gonna prove it to you.

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Working through college had never been Bitty’s ideal situation, but it was the price he had to pay for choosing an out-of-state school, he supposed. Thankfully, between Samwell’s generous grants and his work-study allowance, he could scrape by at the pricey university without too much help from his parents. Even more thankfully, he’d managed to score a great job in a campus cafe in his freshman year. Sadly, his sophomore year didn’t work out quite so nicely. The cafe couldn’t manage to work around his schedule as well as it had the previous year, so Bitty was stuck scrambling desperately for a job at the start of the semester. He couldn’t be too upset about ending up working in the library’s main computer lab.

Overall, he didn’t mind it too much. The bulk of his job was just to remind people not to eat or drink too close to the computers and to occasionally go around and log out of any idling, unmanned computers. Otherwise, he was left to do homework (read: scroll through Twitter) at the front desk. He was doing just that, French textbook open in front of him and phone resting on top so he could use it one-handed, when someone cleared their throat above him. His startled jerk was enough to knock his phone into the floor, and he was thoroughly embarrassed by the time he grabbed it up and gave his attention to the man at the desk.

The guy looked familiar in the same way that most students around the small campus looked familiar and so obviously unknown to him. He was tall, with dark hair flopping over his forehead and a surly enough look on his face to drain the blush right out of Bitty’s cheeks. Still, Bitty managed to offer him an only slightly shaky smile. “Hi, sorry about that! I promise I’m not usually so jumpy, Lord. God knows what’s gotten into me. What can I do for you?”

“I, euh…” Maybe Bitty was imagining it, but he could have sworn the guy’s cheeks turned a little rosy. “I was wondering which printer to use?”

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