not sure if this is even funny

Happy Birthday To My Queen

I didn’t wanna wait until 12 am I wanted to do this now….. You was there for me when my sister died a year ago. Even before that we started off as best friends dealing with our relationship problems. You became my motivation and my strength to work hard and to not lose my cool over the fallacies of imvu. You have done a lot and I became your biggest fan.

Funny how it takes bad things to turn into something beautiful. I mean you already are beautiful. And your light shines in the darkness. Your heart is perfect. Youre the reason why I am able to stand and to be strong and to not doubt who I am as a person. While I have been gone to handle real life you hold it down for me and you make sure that I am okay even if I don’t text back.

I love you Alyssa. Youre the hip to my hop, the cream in my coffee, the honey in my tea, the beat to my heart, the light that shines in my darkest hour and I praise God that he took his sweet and precious time to make you for me.

This is your day to celebrate. Don’t let no bullshit keep you from enjoying your day. I hope to be on later so I can surprise you. Happy Birthday Baby. I’m so proud to have you as my fiancée and I am proud of the work you have done with Imperial XXXtasy. You are a goddess as well. Shine and remember don’t let no one take the spotlight off of you. I love you my queen

Daddy Tremaine

Um????

I was thinking about doing another art raffle but um… No XD

Thank you so much for this <3 Im not even sure you followed the right person??? Did your finger slip like what?

For 300+ followers I can do the following

-Show funny names I gave my drawings XD (again)
-10 more facts about me
-Play the Piano
-Q&A
-another art raffle

Any of those are fine, if you an idea feel free to tell me ^^. THank you again for 300+ followers C:

I can’t help but wonder if my family would be as welcoming if I were to bring a girl home as they are to the girls my brother brings home. Would my dad laugh if my girlfriend said something funny? Would my mom invite her over for dinner? Would my grandma include her in the family Christmas? Or would they get upset and shun us both, because I’m a girl and she’s a girl? Would I have to choose between my relationship with her and my relationships with them?

squeeful replied to your post: I’m watching The Great British Bake Off and one of…

do they hate life in british cooking?

Grape jelly is def not a common thing, at least it wasn’t when I lived there, so the peanut butter & grape jelly combo probably does sound weird to him. It’s just funny to see when something that’s such a staple to me is so weird to a roomful of people. (I don’t know about how common the angel food cake may or may not be, but the bakers sure acted like they’d never even heard of it before)

True story, when I lived in London my homesickness mostly manifested itself as a several-month-long search for grape jelly which ended in total failure, much to my roommate’s amusement.

anonymous asked:

If nO hOnEyMuStArD hOw AbOuT cHeRrYbErRy b0i

Y’all honestly, please stop asking about ships please

remember that time? → inspired by this post by @vrepit-sals

“God,” says Lance with a laugh, leaning further back into the sofa, “Do you remember the first time Hunk corrected Iverson in class?”

Hunk smiles a little proudly, and Pidge bounces in her seat, pointing at Lance with a gasp. Keith is silent, but watches them fondly as they chatter, unconsciously finding himself paying more attention to Lance’s toothy smile and slightly tussled hair than the topic in question.

“Yes!” Pidge hisses, “Quiznak, I can’t believe I forgot about that! Hands down the best day of my life.”

Keith smiles from where he’s sitting, crosslegged and barefoot for once on the couch next to Pidge, chin resting on his propped up hand as he listens to the others reminisce about the Garrison. He doesn’t remember much from his days there; mostly because a great deal of it was monotonous, but he does remember the incident in question. 

Keep reading

Signs when they first start dating you

Aries: is really hesitant about getting physical, even if they really want to

Taurus: will be super clingy even if they try not to be

Gemini: insults you and is super sarcastic but still likes you

Cancer: wants to just have a picnic and talk about life

Leo: will want to hold your hand and take cute photos with you

Virgo: showers you in food and gifts

Libra: will give you all the kisses, especially on the neck

Scorpio: isn’t sure on what’s off boundaries still and is hecka awkward

Sagittarius: moves it along quickly even if they know they should go slow

Capricorn: tells you all their favorite books and geeky movies

Aquarius: shows up to your house at 3am with pizza and flowers

Pisces: makes cute playlists for you or even mix tapes if they’re that hipster

Sure, Jay has taser titties, blades that shoot out from his forearms like wings, excellent marksman skills with an arsenal of weapons, training from batman himself, and the whole “I-died-but-now-I’m-back-to-fuck-some-shit-up-because-I-didn’t-even-want-to-be-back-here” factor, but I still imagine him strutting down Gotham’s streets to “Holla Back Girl.“

His || Jungkook || 0.17

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13| 0.14 | 0.15 | 0.16 | 0.17 |

Keep reading

If Darth Vader torturing Leia isn’t counted because “he didn’t even know that she was his daughter at that time” then we can sure as hell forgive Kylo getting into Rey’s head as well because it’s not like he knew she was going to be his wife beforehand.

Taken for Granted (pt 4)

A/N: IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO HOPE YALL REMEMBER ME AND THIS SERIES. PLEASE READ THE AN AT THE END AS WELL THANKS LOVE YALL


You didn’t realize what exactly you had signed up for when you agreed to the job. Sure, you had some experience, but working as a manager full time was quite tiring. But you felt good going to bed each night, knowing you had done a job well done.

You became good friends with the GOT7 boys, and they helped you out whenever they could, knowing that you were new and temporary. The boys had recently released a new album and were starting their schedules at music shows. You barely found any free time for yourself, but you couldn’t help but think about the bts boys. You missed hanging out with them.

They still tried to contact you whenever they had the chance, but everyone knew it wasn’t the same. You wish you could make time for them and your personal life, but you knew that the following weeks were only going to get busier.


After a few weeks, your schedule seemed to be rather redundant. You had to usher the boys to music shows and interviews every day. You were proud of them for always keeping a smile on their face, despite being very tired. You were starting to realize that perhaps you didn’t really like this job. You were constantly out on the road and you had to deal with incredibly rude people and to be honest, you didn’t know how much more you could take. 

After one especially long day, you were surprised to see that the boys had a free night. You dropped them back at the dorms quite early and each of the got7 boys thanked you as the got out of the van. Pretty soon, you found your way to your own apartment and was getting ready for a shower when you heard your phone buzz. 

You couldn’t help but smile at your phone. You loved Jin like a brother, but why did you feel your heart flutter a bit? Over these last few weeks, you had learned to forgive Namjoon too. You didn’t want to cut him out completely because you loved all the boys too much to do that. And with being so busy with work, you had learned to get over your feelings. You had the confidence to look at Namjoon now without butterflies in your stomach, you were sure.

You placed your phone down and went to take a shower. After relaxing into the warmth of the water, your mind began to race with the possibilities of writing music. Hell, you even had a minor in music from college. Classmates and colleagues had told you a countless amount of times that you had talent, but weren’t they just being friendly? But after what Jin had mentioned, you now had something serious to consider. It had been a long time since you had written a song, and you were quite scared to show anyone your work, but you realized how happy it would make you hearing someone perform your piece.

And so, after months, you pulled out your guitar and empty sheet music and spent hours, writing and playing whatever came to mind. 


Jin placed his phone down with a smile on his own face. He missed talking to you, your playful banter. He missed seeing you around the dorms watching movies or helping him cook or trying whatever it is he made. He just missed your company. So he was content with these small moments he had with you, even if it were simply over text. He couldn’t help but feel excited about seeing you soon at music shows. 

Namjoon sat across from Jin, noticing the look on his hyung’s face. “What are you smiling about?” he asks, laughing. 

“Huh? Oh nothing” Jin says, finally out of his trance-like state. 

“Who were you texting that you have that weird grin on your face hyung?” Namjoon asks again. 

“Oh, y/n” Jin says.

And just like that, Namjoon’s own smile fades quickly. Everytime Namjoon tried to forget about you, his mind flooded with images of you. The more he tried to erase the images of you from his head, the more he found himself thinking about you and how much he was missing you. Of course, he didn’t want to admit it. 

“H-how is she by the way?” he asks, slowly.

“Good I guess. She said she didn’t really like her job though. I told her about taking up music again” Jin said, honestly.

“She’s into music?” Namjoon asks, quite shocked.

“Yeah…. I’m pretty sure she even studied music a little bit in college. I heard her singing a few times and she even writes a little but I think it’s really good” Jin said, smiling again. Jin thought back to the first time he caught you singing. You were cleaning up the dance practice room after the boys had left. Jin realized he forgot something and went back, only to find you singing and dancing with the mop while you cleaned the floor. He was immediately captivated by your voice, and he couldn’t help but smile at your funny dance with the mop. And before he could help himself, he found himself introducing himself to the beautiful girl dancing around his practice room. And since then, you become good friends with both him and the rest of the group as well.

“Is she thinking about changing careers then?” Namjoon asked.

“I’m not too sure. She said she would think about it, but I think she just wants to finish off strong with the job she has now. I told her we could show her the ins and outs of writing music if she wants” Jin continued.

“I-I could teach her a few things I guess…” Namjoon said. He smiled at the possibility of you two spending time together. 

“Hey, I’m sure she would appreciate that! I’ll ask her when she’s thought about it some more!” Jin said excitedly. 

Both boys now smiled while they looked down at their hands. “More time with Y/N” they thought, excitedly. 


Previous Parts: Part 1  Part 2 Part 3

A/N: SOO this kind of took a turn I wasn’t expecting. Hope y’all like it??? Let me know what you think please. How should the story go from here? Let me know if you want a part 5, or I might now really continue this series. I apologize again for posting after so long. I’ve been on vacation and then suffering from jet lag, so I hope you understand!

4

“Thank god. I already wondered what to do with the steak next.”


Happy Steak-Blowjob-Day! Uhm..Steak AND Blowjob Day :)

The difference the word “and” can make…Dorkwin actually thought beforehand that blowing a steak was rather weird, but if it turns Levi on hell be willing to try everything o.o

Intimate

Reader X Jungkook

Warning: Angst/ smut 

Status: On Going

Summary: Click here

Part 1

Originally posted by kuromel


2 years ago

You watched the young boy get punched across the face. He fell to the ground and sat up, wiping away the blood dripping down from his mouth with the back of his hand, glaring at Namjoon and his friends in front of him.

“Y/N! Check this kid out!” Namjoon laughed, while turning his head in your direction.

You rolled your eyes at the sight of them picking on their newest freshmen. You folded your arms and leaned against the school’s brick walls, holding out a hand, rejecting his offer. Lunch was Namjoon and his group of follower’s “fun time.” They would choose a new freshmen each week and give them an option to either: 1. Give them money or 2. Get beat up. Then they would take them to the back of the school at the end of the week, and either got paid or beat them. Majority of the time, they would just pay up because they were scared, but today was different; the freshmen put up a fight, which rarely ever happened. The only time it happened was about two years ago, and the guy was sent to the hospital and transferred to another school.

The young boy stood up from his fall and darted his eyes towards Namjoon. He had no fear in his eyes, he continued to stare at him, his brown hair dripping with sweat. He pressed his tongue against his cheek and looked Namjoon down.

“Who are you glaring at, punk?” Namjoon frowned.

“I’m staring at this fucking rat in front of me.” The young boy retorted.

Namjoon raised his eyebrows at his insult, stunned. No one ever spoke that way to Namjoon, not even you. Everyone knew better than to insult him, whether it be boy or girl, he’ll immediately put you in your place. You were expecting the young boy to get punched in the throat, but to your surprise, Namjoon started laughing.

“I like this kid.” He said pointing at him, turning his head to look at his crew behind him.

“Rapmon, he just insulted you. Don’t you want to kick his ass?” Hoseok growled.

He shook his head no while waving his index finger side to side, eyes still targeted at the freshmen.

“What’s your name, kid?” Namjoon asked.

“Why the fuck do you want to know?” He asked furrowing his eyebrows.

“Just because, do I need to explain myself or give you another beating?”

“Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.” He mumbled.

Namjoon nodded and smirked, making his dimples noticeable.

“You should consider hanging out with us, JK.” Namjoon said while walking away from Jungkook. He turned his back towards him and threw out a card from his pocket.

You got off the wall and went to follow Namjoon. Curious about Jungkook, you turned around to look at the young boy. He looked at you with his innocent, deer eyes, and licking away the blood from the bottom of his lips, his gaze never breaking from yours. You smirked before turning away from him. Namjoon wasn’t the only one who found him interesting.

Namjoon and his group of friends entered the school building, along with you in the back. Everyone was avoiding eye contact with them and staying close to the walls as they walked on by.

“Why didn’t you beat him up, Rapmon?” Jin asked.

“Cause I didn’t want to. No more questions, I’m tired.” Namjoon replied.

Namjoon kept his chin up, walking proudly through the hallways. Everyone was afraid of him, even though you knew he wasn’t shit. To you, he tried too hard to look threatening. Deep down, he was just a little boy.

You guys made your way back upstairs to the senior classrooms, waiting for the lunch break to end. You looked out the window and noticed Jungkook now laying on the grass, arms and legs spread apart, and Namjoon’s card still in the same place where he threw it. Jungkook’s eyes were closed, and his clothes were stained with little patches of blood. You couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him, sorry for all the freshmen’s who fell victim to your brother’s game.

Namjoon and you weren’t blood-siblings, but since your mom and his dad got married when you were both young, it was as though you both were. He would beat up anyone who picked on you, he couldn’t stand seeing you cry. One time you had a crush on a boy, and Namjoon secretly found out and forced–no–threatened the poor guy to go on a date with you, but funny how things work, the poor guy ended up becoming his best friend: Jung Hoseok. Even after all that, things weren’t awkward between the two of you, thankfully.

“Y/N, I’m going to be home late. Make sure you get V to walk you home.”

You turned around from your seat and gave a small smile to Namjoon.

“I’m a big girl, Joonie. I don’t need him to walk me home.” You quickly darted your eyes towards Taehyung. He had transferred last year from Daegu. Namjoon immediately liked his aura. He was loud and shameless, just what Namjoon needed. He gave him his nickname, V after seeing him fight, he was ruthless, and it was always a victory, everyone was too scared to fight Taehyung. But in reality, he was cute and weird. You liked him, not in a crush way, but he intrigued you. Even though he was a major flirt, you liked that even more. Namjoon always warned the boys that you were off-limits, but that didn’t mean they were off-limits to you. Them being off limits is what turned you on.

After school ended, Taehyung waited for you at the entrance, arms folded and eyes closed, leaning against the wall. You stood in front of him and slapped his arm.

“Let’s go.” You smiled.

The minute you arrived to your empty home, you both made your way to your bedroom. Buttons from your shirts being loosened, kisses getting deeper and sloppier. Taehyung slipped his hand under your skirt and cupped your ass, biting your bottom lip gently. Your fingers tracing the outline of his back, kissing his bare shoulder, up to his jawline. He grabbed your hips and pulled you into him, you could feel his erection against you. You grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off, caressing his toned abs.

“If only Rap Mon knew what a fucking dirty bitch his little angel was.” He grunted.

You were going to remember that. You shoved his shoulders, pushing him back and got on your knees, unzipping his trousers. Rubbing your hands against his clothed dick. Squeezing his cock as punishment for calling you a bitch. He hissed at your action.

“Ouch. Sorry princess, I didn’t mean to offend you.” He smirked.

You rolled down his boxer briefs, revealing his hardened member. One thing you liked about Taehyung was his size, you’ve had sex with other guys before Taehyung, but they never satisfied you. He noticed you staring at his cock and chuckled.

“Well hurry, you don’t want mommy catching you sucking me off.”

You slapped his thigh in response. Grabbing his cock with one hand, you placed the tip on your tongue, and licked his slit. While the other hand massaged his thigh.

“Fuck…Y/N. You’re so fucking dirty.”

He pulled the back of your hair and tightened his grip, moaning louder. Another thing you also liked was how vocal he was, it made you feel good, and it turned you on even more. You began sucking on his tip, slowly working your way up his length until it reached the back of your throat.

“Right fucking there. Stay right there.” He groaned.

He didn’t let you move for a while, tears began forming as he held your head in place. You could barely breathe with his cock blocking your airway. Smacking his thigh as a sign that you couldn’t bear the pain, yet he still didn’t move. He continued making small thrusts deeper inside your throat so you pushed him away and glared at him.

“Why’d you do that?” He groaned, while stroking his member.

“Cause I couldn’t breathe, idiot.” You retorted.

“Sorry princess, I’ll be more careful.”

“Just hurry up and fuck me before my parents come home.”

He licked the bottom of his lips and smirked.

That I can do, princess.”

He grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a kiss, his hard cock pressing against your stomach. You took off your shirt and unhooked your bra, in which Taehyung bit his lip and slid his hands up from your waist to your breasts, cupping and squeezing them together.

“I want come all over your chest. Can I this time?” He begged.

“If you hurry up, maybe I’ll let you.”

Still holding onto your boobs, he kissed your lips again. You could taste his cherry-flavored chapstick, although his lips were still slightly chapped. Even so, there was no denying he was a good kisser. While his tongue made its entrance in your mouth, he unzipped your skirt, letting it sink to the ground. He walked you over towards your bed, pushing you down. Your back hit the mattress, and you watched his hungry eyes prey on your body.

“I’m going to fuck you so good, princess.”

“Then hurry up and do it. My parents are going to be home soon.” You rolled your eyes.

“I love when you’re feisty.”

He climbed on top of you, and got on his knees resting in between you legs. He stripped off your underwear and lined his member against your center, running it against your slit. He was purposely teasing you, since he could feel your wetness against him. You bit your lip and rolled you eyes, pinching his arm to hurry up. He took notice and placed the tip in. You both moaned at his movement. You could feel yourself stretch as his cock slowly began to fill your walls.

“Fucking…tight.” He mumbled.

Please, Taehyung.” You begged.

He increased his speed and hovered above you, arms on both sides of your shoulders. Thrusting his cock in and out repeatedly, while moaning loudly. You squeezed your thighs against his body, you were close to coming. Taehyung could feel you tightening around his cock and penetrated himself further in.

“Ready to come?” He chuckled.

“Yes…keep going.”

With that, he continued his pace. Sweat dripping down from his neck to his chest. You dug your nails into his skin, as you reached your high. Taehyung smiled as he watched your body squirm as you came around him, feeling proud of himself. Soon after, his speed slowly decreased, you watched his head fall back, biting his lower lip. He was close to coming. He took out his dick and licked his lips.

“Can I come on your chest, princess?” He groaned while stroking his cock.

You nodded and watched him crawl up to your side while pumping himself. His moans became more aggressive and loud, hissing and groaning until a load of hot white liquid fell down to your chest. He ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled.

“Fuck. This was fun.”

You got up and grabbed a towel, wiping away his mess. Gathering his clothes, you threw it towards him and grabbed your own. You both redressed yourselves and as soon as Taehyung was done, he flashed you his boxy smile. 

“I’ll see you next time, princess.” He winked before leaving your room.

Sadly, there wasn’t going to be a next time. Although Taehyung was fun, he was still a part of Namjoon’s crew. You made a rule to yourself, if you were going to sleep with Namjoon’s friend or anyone associated with him, you would only do it three times, and Taehyung had reached his max.

You first began to have sex with Namjoon’s friends as a way to get back at him for ruining your relationship with your last boyfriend. He had gotten your ex super drunk and ended up sleeping with one of Namjoon’s whores. So, you decided to fuck his close friend, Yoongi. When he found out you had sex with him, he got angry at you to the point where even you were a little afraid of him. He dragged his friend by the collar and pounded his head against the wall several times, until you stopped Namjoon, not even realizing he nearly killed the poor guy.

You stopped fucking with his friends or the people that knew him for awhile, until you met Taehyung. He was wild and crazy, which you found super attractive. You teased each other for awhile, until one drunken night, you both fucked in the back of an alleyway. Then the second time was when Namjoon left the house to grab some beers, leaving you and Taehyung home alone. It was fun while it lasted, but you didn’t want Taehyung to get paralyzed like how Yoongi almost was. Even though you liked messing with his friends, you knew your limits.

The next morning you had woken up early to head to school. Finals were nearing, and you needed study and practice. You made your way to the open gate and heard a familiar voice.

“I wasn’t scared of him. If anything, he should’ve been scared of me.”

You turned your head to the sound of his voice. It was the boy from the day before. Jeon Jungkook. He looked at you the same way he did yesterday with his innocent brown eyes. He was alluring, you felt as though time had slowed down while walking past him. His eyes followed you, again never dropping or looking away, you swore the corners of his mouth formed into a grin before you turned away and entered the school building.

You suddenly had a craving for him. Young and innocent. They weren’t typically your type, you seemed to always fall for much older guys, but Jungkook had something that was interesting.

You made your way up to the library and hid yourself in the corner of the room. There were two empty desks next to you, one in front and one on your side. In hopes no one would come sit next to you, you placed your backpack on the desk in front of you. You took out your notebook and book, resting your leg on the chair in front of you, you began to study.

“This seat isn’t taken, is it?”

You looked up and saw Jungkook smirk. He looked more handsome up close. He had a baby face, but it was do-able. You scratched your head and sighed.

“Sorry, it’s taken.” You answered.

“I don’t buy that, baby girl.”

He pulled out the chair you rested your leg on and sat in the seat. He placed his elbows on the desk and rested his chin on his knuckles, staring at you up and down.

“What do you want?” You groaned.

“You.” He immediately replied.

His word sent shivers down your spine. You couldn’t help but grin. Charming. But you weren’t submissive like he thinks you are. You were in charge, you were always in charge.

“Get in line, sweetheart. There’s a lot of guys who want me.”

“I know, but do you want them? I saw the way you were staring at me. I know you want me too.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Cause your leg is rubbing against mine right now.” A devilish smirk began to form on his face when you realized you were caressing his right leg. You felt your cheeks get warm, they were probably red as hell. You were caught in a situation, you’ve never been in before. You didn’t even notice you were touching him. You pulled your leg away and tucked a piece of you hair behind you ear, clearing your throat before replying to him.

“It’s only because you’re so close to me. Trust me, sweetheart. I’m really not interested.”

“It’s fine. I like them hard to get anyways, it’s more fun. I know you’ll think about me when you’re fingering yourself, so just talk to me when you want me to help you out.” He lifted one of his fingers and placed it in his mouth, sucking it once before getting up and walking away. You bit your lip, and chuckled to yourself. This was going to be fun. You hope he would decline Namjoon’s offer because you wanted him for yourself. You wanted him more than just three times, for once you really desired someone.


Part 1 is finally up. I always like to add a little background before actually getting into the whole series. I hoped you guys liked it, I’ll try update this series as often as I can since I’m still writing The Last One, but I decided to be nice and gift you all with part 1 on Intimate. Look forward to more, and feel free to leave your opinions! I honestly still need to practice writing smut scenes so kekeke. Until next time, xoxo. 

dave ubercharge’s really good meme baking tutorial

i serve the people.

i usually use paint, photoshop cs6, and paint tool sai, but you can do this on just ps. the reason i also use sai is to speed up the ‘saving as jpeg multiple times’ thing, and i think sai’s low quality jpeg is lower quality than ps’. without further ado:

1. pick the text. this is the most important step, of course. for this tutorial, i will be using the text ‘my nipples are fucking frozen’. i said this in a competitive match once when i was very cold. we still won.

2. pick a relevant image to use as the background. you can also use a solid colour or whatever else you want, but i think images are funnier. i’m gonna use a picture of a blizzard from google images (filtered ‘labelled for reuse with modification’).

3. apply the text to the image. i do this on paint because i’m fucking lazy and the kinda but kinda not anti-aliased text edges are funny to me. you can do this on photoshop. i use large size (large being relative to the image) bolded and italicized arial.

i gave myself a bit more canvas space for the next step.

4. apply the same text on top in a darker/lighter colour. i like putting it to the upper left of the original text. with ps, you can just fiddle around with the 2nd text layer to get it in the right position. with paint, you might have to try wiggling the text box a few times. it’s a waste of time compared to ps but for me, it’s just a part of the process making the end product funnier.

make sure your text is visible on top of the image! if it’s not, no biggie, use the fill bucket or just try different colours.

5. apply an overlay on top if desired. red is funny, but it doesn’t really work with what i want on this specific image, so i’m gonna use blue. it doesn’t really matter because the following steps are gonna ruin the colours anyway.

i used a light blue with linear burn. i saved it as a .jpeg after this.

remember to have lowest quality. even on this small version, you can see the start to the terrible things this image is going to endure!

6. here’s the fun part! you can mix these steps up, but i’ll just show how i more or less usually do it. go to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen. you can fiddle with the sliders and whatever.

save the image as a .jpeg again.

7. go to filter > blur > motion blur OR filter > blur > radial blur. motion blur is the diagonal (or up/down, or left/right) blur, radial blur has both the spinny and zoom blur. you can use more than one, if you want. since my abomination is already kind of annoying to read, i’m going to be light-handed with a spinny radial blur.

wow! that already looks pretty fucking bad, but we can go further:

8. go back to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen and apply that again. you can also do more overlays and blurring.

i decided to do all of that. here it is with another blue overlay, motion blur, and radial (zoom) blur.

i changed the sharpen settings before sharpening it again. do whatever you think looks good (or bad).

here’s the final image:

you can keep going, but i have stuff to do. some better baked images of mine:

i have a thing for 1. cropping the text weirdly and 2. red

other stuff you can do includes:

  1. doing both (or 3+) text layers on paint with a white bg, then stretching it weirdly before pasting it on the image bg (transparent selection, 2ndary colour should be white)
  2. using the fucking impact font for bad memes
  3. using lens flare (funnier if you have eyes in the image)
  4. stretching/distorting the image at any point
  5. using other filters, ps has plenty. experiment!
  6.  repenting

the beauty of this is that if you make mistakes, you can just re-bake the image, apply more effects, and it probably makes the image funnier.