not sure if i like the text

can I just say that Taemin trying out a much more contemporary style of dance in Flame of Love is literally everything i could have ever wanted

{Sana and Momo texting}

Sana: Hey girl! What are you doing?

Momo: I’m going to the park with Nayeon.

Sana: Who’s Nayeon?

Momo: Just a friend from school.

Sana: Oh ya? Well, that’s nice. I’m sure you and that skank from school will have a great time at the park with the sun and the trees and the birds and shit.

Momo: Why are you acting like this?

Sana: Acting like what? I’m acting like myself. You’re the one who’s acting like a friend slut.

Momo: You’re being crazy.

Sana: I’m not the one who’s cheating.

Momo: Cheating? On who??

Sana: Our friendship.

This is a PSA
  • Setting: We find our hero at the hospital ten years ago, having just woken up from her first endoscopy.
  • Nurse: Here's a paper on aftercare.
  • Paper: Please be sure to eat soft foods like yogurt and soup, and slowly reintroduce solids into your diet. You've just had a sample taken from your stomach, after all!
  • Parents: Hey wanna go to Subway???
  • Me: HECK YEAH I DO
  • Me: *eats a sandwich and chips because I'm starving*
  • 1 Hour Later:
  • Me: *lying curled around my burning stomach* I have Regrets™
Help

As I opened my game today, the terrain color had changed even though I’m not using any default replacements for desert terrain. I did however just download these tree defaults and these rock and snow defaults, but deleting them didn’t help. 

To my eye, the terrain inside the roads looks like maxis one and the more yellow one is what I want to get rid of, but I’m not 100% sure. I can’t find any desert terrain default replacements from my downloads folder. Any suggestions what I should do?

Edit: I forgot to mention, it looks normal in the neighborhood mode.

Draft for me coming out as agender on Facebook (please comment/send me messages about this)

Note: I’ve done my best not to hint what gender I was assigned at birth, so if there’s any clue in this text about my assigned gender, please let me know.

It’s been a long journey, and after months of questioning, I’m sure of who I am. It hasn’t been easy, especially as I had to do it alone, since most of my support is based online. In the real world, I struggled through the dysphoria and the misgendering alone. I had to play the part of someone whom everyone thought I was. I often felt like I was in someone else’s body, like my life was a film, that I was portraying the character that everyone expected me to be.

When I was a kid, I used to think about gender. Gender roles and gender presentation. I wondered how people assumed that someone who had long hair and wore dresses was a girl or a woman. I thought about how people got labels slapped onto them at birth, based on their physical bodies.

There are those who knew from young, that who they were did not match what had been assigned to them. While I did not know as a child, I remember feeling left out, even if I was included. I squeezed myself into the end of the binary that I had been assigned at birth, not knowing that other options existed.

Even when I was well into my teen years, I didn’t think much about who I was in regard to gender. For nearly 17 years, I lived a life unaware of the possibilities out there, but it wasn’t blissful. Sometimes, I would wonder why I suffered so much in the single-gender school that had been my primary school. Every time, I would drop the matter, assuming that it was just a normal part of growing up. Other times, I would wonder why I didn’t fit in with other children or teenagers of the same gender. Most of all, I just wanted to be one of them, to be normal. 

It wasn’t until 2015 that I suspected I might not be cisgender. Earlier that year, I had discovered my identity as an aromantic asexual. In the later months of 2015, I questioned my identity once more. This time, I ended up questioning my gender. I wasn’t comfortable with my birth name anymore, and so I seized the opportunity to consider going by a nickname, since that was the only way I could go by a new name without being questioned. I’m lucky that my nickname is gender-neutral, and is often viewed as a name belonging to the binary gender that I was not assigned at birth.

I started to play with my nickname, preferring it to my birth name, but I was limited in the settings that I could go by Ray. Even better, my nickname had origins from many countries and was usually seen as masculine. In early 2016, two friends of mine (who happened to be the kids of my parents’ friends) playfully joked about my nickname and imagined me as a university student pretending to be a guy and a girl at different times, both of whom were named Ray. In March of that year, when we met up to watch Zootopia, they suggested that I dress androgynously, since they would be calling me Ray, which is a gender-neutral name. This made me realize that the name Ray was a better reflection of who I was than the name given to me at birth.

2016 was the year I started to socially transition. I changed the name on my school email, so that whenever I emailed a teacher or collaborated on a Google document, my preferred name would be seen. I changed my name on Facebook to make sure as many people as possible saw it. In class polls on WhatsApp, I signed my name as Ray. Every time my anthropology teacher addressed me as Ray in front of the whole class, I felt a little more like myself. At this time, while I had searched the internet for information about gender identities, I wasn’t too concerned about my gender and focused more on my social name change. Whatever gender label fit me at that time, I kept it secret, partly because I was still questioning and partly because I didn’t feel like I needed people to know.

June was the month things started getting interesting. There was a squad of bloggers with similar URLs based on music keys, and I decided to make one such blog. I created a Kik group with the music key bloggers, and one of the people in it referred to me using pronouns that I’d never heard being used to refer to me. At first, I was surprised, but it was positive. I guessed that the reason was because Ray is not usually associated with my assigned gender. This led to me questioning my pronouns, wondering if I might actually prefer pronouns associated with the other binary gender. But as always, being seen as either she/her or he/him didn’t feel right. There was always the jarring sensation that whoever was talking about me was actually talking about someone else. After more research on the internet, I started thinking about the agender label and it fit more so than any other label I might have secretly identified with. Although the agender label falls under the trans and nonbinary umbrellas, I personally thought that agender described me better than the words trans(gender) and nonbinary.

What I remembered about the whole gender saga, as I like to call it, was that when I was queuing to use a public bathroom, I got a sudden wave of severe dysphoria that left me in tears for the rest of the afternoon. It was the most intense dysphoria I had ever felt. From then on, at least as I remember, I started to use the word trans to describe myself. And this was during a Bible study tour with a group of Christians from a conservative country. A tour that my mom had forced me into. Maybe I was tired of the Bible being used to bash LGBTQA+ folks and I wanted to stand up to it, even if it was known only to me. After all, I had been scolded for being asexual, for reasons that had to do with Christianity, the Bible, and theology.

From then on, I thought of myself as a trans person who is agender. But there were times when I wondered if I was really cis, or a binary trans person who was struggling with their identity. It was only a day ago, on the 27 of June, that I watched some of @chandlernwilson​‘s videos on YouTube, and the agender label felt so right. This confirmed what I had realized about myself a year ago: I am agender. I read @queerly-christian​‘s prayer for agender, nonbinary and GNC folks, and cried (as I always did when reading that prayer) because I was tired of feeling like I was a sinner for not being cis, as I had been taught.

I came out to my friends on Snapchat as agender, and I told two of my IRL friends about my pronouns. One of them agreed, while the other made excuses (as it seemed to me), but eventually agreed to use they/them pronouns to refer to me.

Now it’s past 1am on 28 June 2017. It’s Wednesday. Not that any of this matters, but keeping track of such specifics gives me some comfort. Maybe one day, I will look back on this post, and re-read the thoughts of my 18-year-old self. Whatever my future self’s thoughts are, I hope that future me will be the person that I want to be.

Real talk:

I’m pretty sure I have a reputation at my doctor’s clinic as a Bad Patient. Because I am on Medi-Cal, I don’t have a lot of freedom to change clinics (though I have changed primary care physicians, which is not who I saw today, but who I will be seeing next week), so this reputation is one I’m likely stuck with. 

Because one time I had to basically do a sit-in at my own Doctor’s office to be seen so they would explain their own choices to me (and when they did explain those choices they turned out to be based on assumptions they never asked me about re: my mental health - basically they saw I was taking a low dose of Zoloft, decided all my problems must just be in my head, were refusing to treat them on the basis I should be getting therapy, didn’t tell me that’s what they were choosing and why, so I couldn’t explain to them that I have a therapist and have had one since well before my health problems began and actually my mental health is remarkably stable given the circumstances of my whole life).

So anyway after more than a year of not being given proper care and not being told why and being readily dismissed and feeling utterly gaslighted by my doctor, I had to basically go to the clinic one time and sit there and refuse to move until someone would see me and talk to me about my health. And they called a security guard on me while I refused to move and it was like a thing? And it was only after repeatedly begging them to just answer my really basic questions (like, “why are you insisting that I am healthy when I still have all these terrible symptoms?”) that I finally found out they hadn’t been treating my file seriously because they had me down as a therapy case. Without actually referring me to therapy. And without asking me if I was in therapy. Which I was. And without asking my therapist’s opinion. Which he would have freely given. (And would have been, “her mental health is more stable than it’s been in years, it’s just this new physical stuff that’s tripping her up”). 

And that was a long time ago, but I feel like the clinic… probably… remembers. And like they’ve been a bit better since, but I feel like if you have an office that is convinced you’re crazy, sitting in an office refusing to move and crying and whatever is, like, not gonna convince them they’re wrong. Even if they’re now pretending to put in more effort because a major gaffe in their care was exposed. 

ANYWAY WOW SKIP ALL OF THAT THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF WHY I STARTED THIS POST. TL;DR - I JUST WANTED TO MAKE IT CLEAR THIS CLINIC AND I HAVE A ~HISTORY~ WHERE THEY THINK I’M JUST MAKING UP MY SYMPTOMS

And the actual question I have is - I feel like when I go to these appointments I never get to say what I want to say, or I’m not really understood. The doctors ask me how I am, and I say I’m still having problems with being tired and lots of headaches and I feel like, that sounds mild? And they don’t really get it? And we never get into further symptoms? 

Like today I said “tired, constant headaches, shaky” - tired was chalked up to my weight and I was (ironically) too tired to try to push back, we decided to try yet another cocktail of drugs for the headaches/migraines, and we didn’t even address shaky. 

I’m not just tired, I’m exhausted, fatigued, unable to think, unable to remember simple facts - I get to this level of tired where it’s like I can’t see. Not that I’m actually physically blind but like I’ve lost the capacity to interpret those signals so everything I look at is just noise and it takes intense focus to see where I’m walking and make it to bed. 

There are definite classic migraines (aura and all) in the mix of my headaches, but there’s other kinds of headaches too. Intense balls of pain right at the front of my head, dull, almost non-pains where if you asked me where it hurt I couldn’t tell you because it’s almost like I am the pain, and completing thoughts gets hard. Pain that moves. Pain in my eyes and ears where all stimulation is knives. Pain at the base of my skull that makes me feel like I can’t swallow even though it’s head pain, not throat pain.

My hands and knees shake sometimes. My jaw shakes. It doesn’t hurt. I don’t lose my grip. I can just sit there and watch my hand or leg thinking, “oh weird, that’s shaking.” - Sometimes my whole body feels like it’s trembling but it’s almost like the trembling negates itself and -

okay

this is getting long again.

And still not to the point. 

TL;DR again - I have really bad symptoms and I don’t feel like I get an opportunity to properly express them and I don’t feel like they’re taken seriously.  

So here’s the actual question I started all of this for:

The Actual Question: Given that this clinic thinks I’m melodramatic and likely exaggerating, and given that I feel unheard regarding my symptoms - would it make things better or worse to write down my symptoms - as clear as I can - and how they effect me before I go into my next appointment?

Would that make me seem more dramatic than they already see me? Or would that make it more likely that they’ll actually listen? OR would that just waste their and my time, as they’re very busy and wouldn’t have time to read anything?

I can’t tell if bringing something written in would be more “oh no, here she goes again with the drama” or just be a good way to make sure communication is clear and they understand what my concerns are and can address them better.

Thoughts? And if you think it’s a good idea, what would be the best way to organize the list/letter so it comes across as informative and reasonable and not whiny or attention-seeking or whatever?

Thanks.

It's not Filler

I don’t like when people call random tv episodes filler, like sure maybe they don’t contribute to the overall story arc of the season, but they give us more time to delve deeper into characters and maybe the more comedic side where they’re not constantly under pressure. These episodes are just as important as the big plot changing ones because we see smaller details, we get a breather, we get some laughs, etc. This is part of their story… even if it’s not part of THE story.

11 questions tag 🌻✨

i was tagged by @19kwan. ty 💐🌷 this was a lot of fun n i was so so happy that u tagged me ! 💕 

rules
1. always post the rules 
2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 
3. write 11 questions of your own 
4. tag 11 people (or however many you want)

1. what is your zodiac sign?
cancer
2. milk before or after cereal?  
after for sure
3. what was your favourite cartoon as a child?  
teletubbies - still holds a v special place in my heart 
4. places you would like to visit?  
tokyo, riga, budapest, and busan to name a few
5. do you like pizza with pineapple? 
yes !!! i will shamelessly spread pro-pineapple pizza propaganda
6. talking on the phone or texting?  
texting texting texting asdfksl its so much easier for me n apparently my voice sounds weird over the phone ? like much lower than usual idk ??
7. favourite kind of weather?  
a bright n sunny day w lots of clouds, a lil warm but not too hot
8. do you easily get along with people?  
im v bad at approaching people but i think that im ok at getting along w them after i let down my emo forcefield of self-isolation 
9. are you a cat or a dog person?  
DOGS i love both but id devote my entire life to every dog !!!!
10. any hobbies?  
not rly aslkdjf i used to do all this Cool Stuff like ballet, swimming n karate, but now its just the occasional game of overwatch or trying to develop a form of sign language w my pets
11. band/artist you would like to see live?
uhhhhh maybe these guys called ???? Monster X ???? u should all check them out they’re pretty cool 

my 11 questions are:

  1. do you prefer the ocean or the sky?
  2. favourite candle/perfume scent?
  3. name(s) you would want to give to your kids if you were to have any? 
  4. being able to read minds or fly? 
  5. favourite word(s)? 
  6. a book/tv/film character that you’re similar to?
  7. favourite song about love?
  8. hot chocolate or iced tea?
  9. opinon on the prospect of extraterrestrial life?
  10. can you describe your sense of humour?
  11. if you were a performer, what would you want your stage name to be?

🌹tagging: @93shin @ki-hyunie @hyungwvn @nottechae @moonbebe @jhmx @limechangkyun @wonhosbub @1changkyvn 🌹feel free to ignore ~ ily all a lot n i hope ur having a rly rly rly great day (✿´‿`)

Hey guys! I’m not good with making promos right now so I’ll just make this a text promo but this is an independent role play blog for the beautiful Lunafreya Nox Fleuret from Final Fantasy XV & Kingsglaive. I’m open to anyone, original characters, canon, multi-muse, etc. Please feel free to like/reblog if you’re interested! Luna is a radiant soul, selfless, and will do anything for you I’m sure. ♡

idk why i like doing these agsdhfjsha

1. Name: Jasmine (Kinda wanna change it in the future but sHRUGS)
2. Height: 5'4 feet (way taller than I want t be ughhghghg)
3. Age: 15
4. Birthday: February 15th
5. Girl BFF(s): The CC
6. Guy BFF: The one guy in the CC pFT
7. Crush: sWEATS I mean he doesn’t have tumblr… I-… I think… I’m not taking that chance awh henck.
8. Ever Fall in Love?: I can’t really be sure of what is love and what is just crushing/lust hhhh.
9. Last Text:
Skype:
“nOOOOO
YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT
YOUVE SEEN WHAT PEOPLE ARE DOING TO POLLI ON TUMBLR HUH??
CRIES
Actual texting:
“Can you hear me suffering” (wow im great)
10. Longest Relationship: 3 years
11. Battery Percentage: 32%
12. Eye Color: Blue
13. Hair Color: Platinum blonde
14. Addiction: memes
15. Fav Food: sHRUGS
16. Fav Song: Currently it’s Miss Wanna Die 
17. Fav Animal: pBTBPPBT no you can’t make me choose between my babies. (Cats, Squirrels, or I’m starting to like little snakies ahhhh~)
18. Fav Subject in School: Theater or most any art classes. (Maybe French haha)
19. Fav Sport: Why do you want me to think about suffering Hecc, uhm, Soccor/Football (not american football, ew no)
20. One Wish: To be able to fix problems and help as many people as a can.
21. Best Time of your Life: Hm… I remember a day me and Ashen went to a park near his house, and just spent the whole day there. Now a days it’s all I can think about sometimes~
22. Country you live in: aMERICAAAA stabs self
23.Pets: Black kitten born on Halloween named Pumpkin and his big sister Firework born on American Independence day. (Their real names are Tom and Daisy but they were born on holidays why wouldn’t you name them like-)
24.Turn ons: oH. uHM. swEATS AND TUGS AT SHIRT W-WELL- TH- UH- screw it everyone on tumblr that follows me i don’t know irl except close friends that don’t care pfft. Honestly: People petting my head, carrying me, when people call me cute nicknames, when people claim me as theirs/are over protective of me, prolonged eye-contact oddly. Most of those are normal but then there’s- When people degrade me for being short, clumsy, stupid, childish or weak, when people tease and pick on me, when people trip or push me around. (Don’t even ask because I couldn’t tell you.)
25.Turn offs: Weird obscure jokes. If you start singing All-Star when I’m hugging you I’m gonna throw you off a bridge I swear to god I can’t-. (Memes are for friends… pFT-)
26. Relationship Status: Single
27. First Kiss: Never had one.
28. Ever Self Harmed: kinda
29. Someone you Love: @bornikai1477 ;0 hey my dude
30. Someone you Miss: … @ashs-blade (not actually tagging him because if he sees this I….. I’m getting a little less nervous about him though… I think… I still miss him…)
31. Biggest Fear: Hurting or betraying others or being alone.
32. Something you Hate: (mYSELF PFT) My old choir teacher
33. Fandoms: hECK. Uh, when I was little I was into MLP, but then i floated over to Hetalia and I’m still tryna escape that hell HHH. Otherwise I don’t get too involved with most stuff. shrugs
34. Fav TV Show: Mmmn Hard to choose but it’s probably some cartoon network thing pfft
35. Fav Movie: sAW. SAW. SAW. SAW. HHH WHEN IS THE EIGHTH MOVIE COMING OUT >:C
36. Fav Book: Something from the Warriors series maybe
37. Fav thing about yourself: Can’t think of anything.
38. (Lowkey) Jealous of: Mmn nobody. Everyone is suffering. yayy
39. Star Sign: Aquarius 
40. Ethnicity: I’ve no clue I just know I live here in AmERiCa and w a n t   t o   d i e. fingerguns (I know that I’m at least 1/8 German though shrugs)
41. Middle Name: Elizabeth
42. Worst Habit: Used to be nail biting, now it’s either not focusing or talking to fast and stuttering a lot ghhgfuyvjeiosuhtvj
43. Best Friend Ever: -
44. Embarrassing Moment: my whole life haHAH- (I think once when my friend brought up a rather bad fanfiction I wrote once in front of my other friends and I nearly cried hhhh i was not happy with her but it’s okay now, I’ve embarrassed her before so we’re even now, oops~)
45. OTP: aGGRESSIVELY POINTS AT SKRILL AND SAM ASHGFDJSHGJK
46. First Fandom: Mmmm I think maybe The Legend of Zelda counts here??
47. Books or WiFi: what do you think~
48. Indoors or Outdoors: Both but maybe Outdoors.
49. kik: What? What’s that.
50. Other: i am suffering 

anonymous asked:

I'm bi and I have a trans boyfriend I consider breaking up with like every day and there's another girl on here I like who I know likes me back and another girl I know here and irl and she likes to cuddle me and I cuddle her back whoops and a few of my friends know and the one I was really talking to about it says I might have cheated on my boyfriend by letting her cuddle me while I like her but also this cute girl just texted me back so I'm a puddle of gay rn but she's straight.

Polyamory is a thing that exists and you can see if everyone is comfortable with it if you really want to be with them but be sure to communicate with everyone about everything that may concern them. I’m not an expert and I don’t have any experience with polyamory but I think that it could work

(Confess something gay to me) I’m out of things to confess about myself so you can check out previous asks for all of that but I’ll still take your confessions and respond to them

Lemonade: the visual album... LIVE!

Beyoncé released her visual album in April 2016. Below are performances of all of the songs on her sixth consecutive, #1, Grammy award winning album, Lemonade, including appearances at the Country Music Awards to the Grammys. Enjoy <3 

Pray You Catch Me

Hold Up

Don’t Hurt Yourself 

Sorry 

6 Inch / 6 Inch

Daddy Lessons

Love Drought / Sandcastles

Forward

Freedom / Freedom

All Night

Formation

VMA 2016 Performance

               I’m here with you.I see you.You are my friend, M’gann M’orzz.You are forgiven

that whole exchange between jeremiah and maggie was so uncomfortable. like, implying alex somehow defaulted to being with a woman bc there’s no man good enough for her just….rubbed me the wrong way. i’ll wait to pass official judgement, but it’s lookin like eliza might wanna get those divorce papers ready.