not sure how i feel about being single again

Pool Boy

Dan never thought he would be the type of gay to check out cute, wet boys at work while absentmindedly picking at his sparkly nail polish but here we are. To be honest, the reason he took this job was because he needed the money and he thought, being a pool boy working in the middle of October, he wouldn’t have to see many people.

He was sort of right on that account. No one went swimming in the middle of fall. Except, apparently, lanky pale boys with the kind of blue eyes which, in Dan’s humble gay opinion, should be illegal.

In fact, after a few minutes of watching him, Dan was almost positive the guy was trying to mess with him. He never looked at Dan, but the way he stripped off his thin, white shirt oh so slowly, revealing just a little sliver of pale skin at a time; his giggles with just a little bit of his tongue poking out at the end; how he flipped his dark hair to the side when he surfaced.

But he couldn’t be sure, not until the boy pulled himself onto the edge of the pool, his skin still glistening with pool water. At this point, Dan actually fell a little bit, causing the leaf skimmer he had been leaning against to clatter to the ground.

Fu–” Dan almost cursed, managing to catch himself, but as he swept his hair out of his eyes, glancing over at the boy, he saw him eyeing Dan, the most irritatingly adorable smirk curling his lips.

Well then, he thought. Two can play that game.

Which explains why it became necessary for Dan to clean the pool shirtless while adjusting his curls as much as possible.

The dark haired boy’s blue eyes fixed on Dan. The pool was completely empty other than them; it made sense considering how strange a season it was to go swimming, and the tension was rising.

Then Dan decided to try to reach some leaves on the other side of the pool, which obviously required him to lean way over stretching with the leaf skimmer, coincidentally giving the boy a very good view of how cute his ass looked in his swim trunks.

But the real last straw was when he slipped a little and ended up landing in the shallow end of the pool. The second the cold water touched his bare skin he let out a high pitched sound of surprise which he easily turned into a breathy moan, closing his eyes.

There was a loud splash and they flew open to see the boy standing right in front of him and he looked absolutely gorgeous, eyes all dark and lips flushed. 
Without hesitating at all, he pressed his lips against Dan’s, his hands gripping his waist. Dan instantly melted into the kiss, his arms going around the boy’s neck and pulling him closer.

When they finally pulled apart, the boy biting Dan’s bottom lip as he did so, he was breathless.

“Did you think that was funny?” the boy asked, his voice just a little bit northern and husky as hell. It gave Dan shivers.

“A little bit, yeah,” he replied cheekily with a smirk of his own.

“Naughty boy,” he murmured, leaning in to nip at Dan’s neck, who moaned breathily. “What’s your name?”

“D-Daniel,” he replied, leaning his head back to give the boy better access.

The boy pulled away, laughing a little at Dan’s pout.

“Daniel, my flirty little pool boy,” he teased, pulling on one of Dan’s curls before getting out of the water. Dan scrambled to follow as the boy toweled off, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Wait!” he protested, running after the boy, who stopped just before he slipped out the gate. “What’s your name?”

The boy smirked again. “My name’s Phil, angel. I’ll be back next week.” And with a single kiss to the tip of Dan’s nose he was gone.

Huh. Maybe being a pool boy wasn’t so bad after all.

An open letter to the man I can’t forget .

I broke up with my new boyfriend because I can’t take it any longer. I know that he loves me so much and he will do anything just to make me happy. But I don’t want to hurt him anymore. That boy belongs to someone else, someone better than me.  He begged for me to stay, did a lot of promises but I still choose to break his heart, if only he can understand how hard it is to see him crying. I killed a part of him who’s willing to sacrifice just to capture my heart.

They say I’m blinded by my past. But they didn’t know that it’s not easy to forget someone who made a big change in your life. I know, I know… time passes so fast and here I am, still searching for you. No one knows the history between us. No one knows how much effect have you done that I still can’t move on until this very day.

I remembered the day we first met. I was a transferred student and I don’t know how to make new friends. You waved at me and smiled.  My cheeks turned red, and waved back at you. It’s one of the happiest days of my life, don’t you believe it? Every time I looked back at the past, remembering you has never been wrong.

Everyone at school loves you, including me, who stalks you a lot. Funny that you didn’t catch me staring at you. Or we can say that you notice me but you don’t mind at all. You’re smart and kind, and let’s not forget to add that you’re pretty handsome. You don’t talk much, but your eyes say it all. If I don’t stop staring at it, I will definitely melt.  And I don’t know what kind of sorcery did you use, but I’m totally into you.

By simply looking at you makes me happy - with every glance makes my heart wander. You’re not fully aware of what kind of magic you used on me, but you changed my world in a whole new level. The moment I saw you I knew that you are special. You even surpass that hypothesis because you made me love you. You made fall deeply in love with you. And I’m glad that it actually happened because I can’t imagine my life without you.

One day you told me, you loved me too. And the reason why you waved at me on the first day of school is because you want me to be yours. I laughed at the sudden confession because I don’t know if you’re making fun of me. I’m not remarkable, unique or whatever, but the thought that you want me to be yours feels so right.  You hold my hand, and kneel in front of me.

“Let’s start again, leave all your worries behind. Let me love you for the rest of our lives.”

Tears started falling into my eyes and the happiness within our hearts was limitless. From that moment on, we both promised that will never let go of each other and that no matter how hard life is will stand tall and we will continue to fight for our love.  

I treasured every day we spent together. No time was ever wasted. You show me the true meaning of living your life in the fullest. You made me the luckiest girl on earth and I’m happy that I found you. The world constantly changes every day, but my love for you will never wilt. The sun will continue to shine and no storms can destroy us.

But every story has an ending and I never thought that this day will come. I recalled the seconds, minutes, hours and days we’ve been together before you gave up your last breath. It was painful seeing you in that bed, in that death bed that separated us. We made a pact, right? But you leave me.

I know that it’s not really your intention to hurt me, but you still did and I hate you for that. I love you so much that it still hurts ‘til this day. It’s been 5 years since you left, but the memories didn’t fade away. I can still remember the way you look after me. I can still feel the warm embrace and how soft your lips were. I remembered everything, every single thing about you.

Sorry that I still can’t fulfill your last words. I don’t know if I can love someone else. Sorry if sometimes I asked God to take my life away so I can be with you now. Sorry for being so heartless. If you’re still alive, for sure you’ll get mad at me. But a promise is still a promise. I’ll try again, okay? For you, I will.

I love you so much and I miss you. No one can ever replace you. I will never forget you.

Please look after me there at heaven.

((lol, shooting a ship down? That’s like 80% of what DC does. No one’s ship is 100% safe, even Batman and Catwoman get separated from time to time. 

Like… do you even know how shipping works? Shipping does not require canon, MOST ships AREN’T canon. How do I feel that my otp isn’t canon, HAPPY that he at least gets to have a BOYFRIEND in canon as opposed to being a single gay character that they don’t have to worry about writing as such. What is your jam, anon?

Why was I opposed to the ship at first? Because they wrote Hart into a closet again. HARTLEY RATHAWAY was all but in the closet again because of how they decided to write David. THAT is why I did not care for the ship at first. Is it being written better now? I’m sure it is, but my closest comic shop is an hour drive away and ya know what I’m tired of being disappointed at $4 a pop.))

since i always subject myself to focus on certain details on this show, i’m gonna talk about two scenes that will never stop making me cry

  1. when monty brings up maya because of jasper’s state and how bellamy turns his head to look at monty when he hears the name
  2. when gina gives bellamy the Illiad.

the monty/bellamy scene is such a tragic one to me.

i dont know if anyone actually talked about how this scene does not only relate to jasper since maya is mentioned, but also monty and bellamy (two people who knew maya on a very personal level themselves), but i really wanna highlight one important thing in regards to this situation, since it’s something pretty miserable that hits both characters straight at their hearts. the tragedy in regards to the characters and their arcs lies in the narrative gravity that the name “Maya” brings to the surface while bellamy and monty try to figure out what to do with jasper. the interesting thing about monty saying “Maya” out loud is that once it is out, it reveals a response from whoever comes into contact with it - in this case monty and bellamy and indirectly jasper - and in what way the people react to it; what it provokes out of them, since it’s the focal point of the scene - the entire situation is so uncomfortable for the both of them. monty looks at jasper in agony, trying to still be there for his friend “he needs this”, while bellamy looks at monty in misery, not exactly knowing where to place his hands and whether any of this is even the right thing to do “take an arm”.

it’s particularly interesting that its monty and bellamy helping jasper here and not anyone else, because they were in the command center - two out of three people who had a hand in irradiating the mountain men - killing everyone, including maya. so, the way they are being exposed to the entire aftermath of their decision at MW in this moment is heavy, because it comes in the form of a drunk jasper who lies under a rover and they both feel sorry for what they did. their guilt and overall inner turmoil is evident in every line and movement, and it shatters my tiny heart, because it’s so reminiscent of how monty and bellamy had faced jasper with a dead maya in his arms back three months ago “he is not getting better”. and yet, they try to be there for him as best as they can.

it doesnt come with a surprise that the gina scene follows right after the jasper scene, in which monty mentioned maya and what her death did to jasper (and to them - bellamy and him). it just makes sense, because the Illiad - the book that gina gives bellamy as a present - does not only work as some sort of foreshadowing for bellamy’s future arc, but also ties to his past actions, especially at the mountain (hence the jasper scene).

the focus on the book is brief

but the continuity of bellamy’s horror in this moment is ever-present.

ignoring the 500 other thematically rich things about the two shots above, let’s just focus on bellamy, because everything about him here is heartbreaking, no matter which way you slice the scene. he has just been reminded of “maya”, right? (not that he forgets about her) has witnessed jasper’s drunken state (again) and helped him get up together with monty. now gina, his girlfriend, tries to make him feel better with something he connects with a certain term - “good” - and his mother, who used to read mythology to him, whom he also associates with said term as well. i like how he makes sure with a single movement that he has a hard time relating to the word now (an issue that he will have to deal with throughout the season as you know). like, its as if the idea of him being “good” almost seems bizarre to him. the familiar clench in his jaw that you can see and the way he looks up in thought for a moment and then turns to gina to thank her for it in this very silent way because his tongue feels too heavy to say anything more to her knocks me off my balance, because he is so obviously backed into a very dark corner by the narrative. he doesn’t really know how to react other than to distance himself from the feeling as best as he can. if you look at him from the bigger picture, he absolutely showcases the aura of a person who tried his best to do “good” by his people (including people like maya) with every step of his way - but a closer look shows that he ultimately failed to make the one thing he so desperately fought for happen - that’s how he sees it. and it’s something that weighs heavily on his shoulders still and tears him apart, because it is personal and he had no time to deal with any of it yet. instead, he pushes through his feelings by being there for his people.

maybe i should turn my monty and bellamy tag into a crying jag lol.

anonymous asked:

why the fuck did they decide to, yet again, feature another artist on a new single? i get that they're really trying to crack the states by featuring more well-known names on their singles and, don't get me wrong, i love power, but i'm not sure how i feel about another feature.

i agree like i heard the rumors of power being their next single and i was so excited but i have no clue why they added someone when the song was perfectly fine before hand like??? im just a little confused ALSO they haven’t done any proo for like any other song so i bet this is going to be just the same

Though I am not really into Tsukuyomi theory I doesn`t think it is bad.  I just think it is not logicall to manga. But sometime I think that Tsukuyomi shall be in the manga or maybe even already was.

Once again despite everything Tsukuyomi is major god, if he dies he will surely reincarnate. There is alwasy posibillity that Father is lying but I relly doesn`t see reasons why he should lie to Nora. So in the end I think he is telling the truth about Yato being born from his wish.

That is said there is a problem. No matter how much I think the idea of god being born from a single wish of single human feels like one big cheating. Either Father used some crazy magic to create his pocket god or he actually had help from above.

This goddes told how get Yato from Yomi. I suppose  she also knows his real name and did not tell it because thought that others already know it. And she was glad for him. Maybe she is Tsukuyomi? Though there is strange for such major god being in executioners team. Also though many japanese deitis can be both male and female Tsukuyomi even in early sources is referred as man. But then again very rarely but Tsukuyomi does have female form. Also Bishmonten is pretty much alwas depicted as man but here we have our Viena

May it be that this deity, Tsukuyomi, helped Father to create Yato? But why she would do this? Maybe out of guilt? Of freckled girl death or whatever happened when she died. One of major myths about Tsukuyomi is that he killed Uke Mochi goddes of food. Though highly unlikely that girl was goddes. But still this little deity does connected to Yato in some way

Just because I’m sure I’ll get shit from someone about this BUT I met up with Mark.
Pretty much just to give him his things back and to hear what he had to say.
SparkNotes Version: Kept apologizing/saying how it wasn’t supposed to go down that way and then went to say how this wasn’t going to go anywhere anyway and other bullshit.

BUT I was a bitch (like I had a right to be) and nipped that in the bud, handed his shit back and told him that it was me ending it, not him and pretty much left.

BEST PART: He said “Don’t be a stranger” right before I closed my door.


Seriously, the guy has problems or doesn’t understand fucking people.

SO BYE BYE BYE to him, and hello to being single… again!

like the idea of marriage is super dope to me.

you and your homie for life

joking around

touching each other genitals

helping each other through the rough shit

being silly

experiencing a lot of first time life experiences like buying a house and shit

making sure y'all don’t leave the house ashy

combining money

and then having little humans that depend on you that are a perfect blend of you and your best friend and shit…and watching them grow up.

that just sounds really ideal tbh

Life lately. 

Work. Things have been extremely stressful and busy at work, but not without it’s rewards. Hard work has been paying off, and I’m excited to see where this continues. It feels really great to love my job, feel like I’m good at my job, and know that other people recognize and believe in me in my job, too. 

Family. My baby nephews are growing up so quickly and I can hardly believe how fast time goes by. Every single picture my sister sends me seems like years have passed and the boys are ready to start arguing and breaking hearts and being less interested in their auntie. But they’re so ridiculously adorable, they melt my heart. Seeing the family a couple of weeks ago was the exact recharge I needed to feel like myself again. That’s the one hard thing about living in NYC, but it sure makes time with them that much more meaningful.

Boyfriend. You heard that right; it’s official: JessCole has a boyfriend and he’s probably reading this right now. Just about a week or so before Valentine’s Day, I found myself swiping on Tinder and not thinking much of it. Then, I got a match, I messaged him, and we’ve been dating for the past few weeks…and it’s been pretty great. So without gushing too much over him, I’ll just say this: I’m really, really happy.

Traveling. My schedule has been all over the place recently, more so than usual, causing me to see glimpses of places here and there. The majority of it is for work, but my next trip is for play - San Diego, here I come! littlejandthecity​ and I will be heading west for an extended weekend trip for some fun, sun, and friends. I’ve never been, so I’m really looking forward to it. 

Fitness. I’ve been getting back on track with my fitness game recently, and I’m getting really excited. I’ve started to really appreciate my balanced workout schedule, noticing how my bootcamp and spin classes are really complimented by some yoga days. Plus, it really helps my body and mind feel refreshed and controlled. Stay tuned for my next marathon: Fall 2015!

Moving. In just over a month, I’ll be saying goodbye to my first, real apartment in NYC, and becoming the new roommate of littlejandthecity​. I’ll be moving exactly four blocks away, and I’m really excited to get it going. Just in time for Spring to show it’s face!

I think those are the main points right now, so there you have it. Thanks for listening, and, Happy Monday!