not sure how i feel about being single again

Neighbour AU

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and Laurent’s neighbours having a loud argument every weekend. Laurent does not pay an exorbitant amount of rent just so that he can be woken up at three in the morning every Saturday because Jokaste is angry at Damen again. It’s bad enough that he knows their names without having ever introduced himself.

And of course, the fights are always followed by even louder make-up sex, as if he needs a weekly reminder that he himself isn’t getting any.

Tonight, it seems, Damen has been locked out of his apartment.

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anonymous asked:

i loved your thoughts about the monsters and female sexuality, and i was wondering if you had anything specifically about the phantom? or any thoughts on the phantom of the opera in general i would love to hear them

You know those pieces of media you can’t read/listen/watch without being transported to your first go-through, with all the exact emotions that come with it? And it doesn’t matter if these were profound Great Works of Art, they were just there at the exact right time to crawl under some bit of skin, to find the exact right string to pluck—and you will never, ever get rid of them. They are inside you, all you can do is accommodate them.

For me, that’s what Phantom of the Opera was. I stumbled over it at twelve-thirteen, already knowing that I was a fucking weirdo but not really sure how I was planning to deal with that, and it just—blew the fucking doors off the place. I cannot listen to a single song, watch a single frame of the 2004 movie, even glance at a picture of Sarah Brightman without the all-over cringing embarrassment of being that thirteen-year-old again and feeling things that were enormous and sweating-hot and nameless and much more than I was even sort of prepared for.

Which means that I am largely incapable of talking about it in a rational sort of fashion. I will say that Phantom takes…something an opposite tack towards the monster romance. Typically, a monster romance is Beauty recognizing the humanity of a Beast, and ennobling the Beast because of it; it’s a redemption-thorough-love narrative. In Phantom, Beauty (Christine) recognizes there is something also monstrous in her, but ultimately rejects that monstrosity. She’s really he one who undergoes through the transformation, not the Beast, though he ultimately does recognize her transformation.

I generally put this down to the addition of the Svengali narrative—while there’s always a power imbalance between Beauty and the Beast, it’s acute in Phantom. (The Beast just wants Belle to come to dinner and avoid the West Wing, Erik watches Christine through her fucking mirror and kills people.) The Phantom’s real monstrosity isn’t his face, it is the demand Christine sacrifice literally everything to him and capital-A-Art. The absolutist mania is monstrosity in itself. Monstrosity is just another way of transcending the ordinary, and isn’t that what artists are meant to do?

Christine’s desire to be an Artist is part and parcel of the monster romance of the Phantom; if she didn’t sort of want to be an artistic monster herself, there’s no draw. The 2004 movie is….awkwardly blunt about this, making the Phantom a transgressively sexual figure. (While I don’t think it’s incorrect, I also think it obscures some of the real motivation there. Desire for a basement dwelling weirdo can be two things, ALW.)

I realize my previous meta was about monster romance-qua-monster romance, monster romance as an expression of desire, but monster romances represent a hell of a lot of different things—each slightly different, but drawing on the long legacy of transgressive desire in all senses.

Also, the overture remains A True Banger.

Pool Boy

Dan never thought he would be the type of gay to check out cute, wet boys at work while absentmindedly picking at his sparkly nail polish but here we are. To be honest, the reason he took this job was because he needed the money and he thought, being a pool boy working in the middle of October, he wouldn’t have to see many people.

He was sort of right on that account. No one went swimming in the middle of fall. Except, apparently, lanky pale boys with the kind of blue eyes which, in Dan’s humble gay opinion, should be illegal.

In fact, after a few minutes of watching him, Dan was almost positive the guy was trying to mess with him. He never looked at Dan, but the way he stripped off his thin, white shirt oh so slowly, revealing just a little sliver of pale skin at a time; his giggles with just a little bit of his tongue poking out at the end; how he flipped his dark hair to the side when he surfaced.

But he couldn’t be sure, not until the boy pulled himself onto the edge of the pool, his skin still glistening with pool water. At this point, Dan actually fell a little bit, causing the leaf skimmer he had been leaning against to clatter to the ground.

Fu–” Dan almost cursed, managing to catch himself, but as he swept his hair out of his eyes, glancing over at the boy, he saw him eyeing Dan, the most irritatingly adorable smirk curling his lips.

Well then, he thought. Two can play that game.

Which explains why it became necessary for Dan to clean the pool shirtless while adjusting his curls as much as possible.

The dark haired boy’s blue eyes fixed on Dan. The pool was completely empty other than them; it made sense considering how strange a season it was to go swimming, and the tension was rising.

Then Dan decided to try to reach some leaves on the other side of the pool, which obviously required him to lean way over stretching with the leaf skimmer, coincidentally giving the boy a very good view of how cute his ass looked in his swim trunks.

But the real last straw was when he slipped a little and ended up landing in the shallow end of the pool. The second the cold water touched his bare skin he let out a high pitched sound of surprise which he easily turned into a breathy moan, closing his eyes.

There was a loud splash and they flew open to see the boy standing right in front of him and he looked absolutely gorgeous, eyes all dark and lips flushed. 
Without hesitating at all, he pressed his lips against Dan’s, his hands gripping his waist. Dan instantly melted into the kiss, his arms going around the boy’s neck and pulling him closer.

When they finally pulled apart, the boy biting Dan’s bottom lip as he did so, he was breathless.

“Did you think that was funny?” the boy asked, his voice just a little bit northern and husky as hell. It gave Dan shivers.

“A little bit, yeah,” he replied cheekily with a smirk of his own.

“Naughty boy,” he murmured, leaning in to nip at Dan’s neck, who moaned breathily. “What’s your name?”

“D-Daniel,” he replied, leaning his head back to give the boy better access.

The boy pulled away, laughing a little at Dan’s pout.

“Daniel, my flirty little pool boy,” he teased, pulling on one of Dan’s curls before getting out of the water. Dan scrambled to follow as the boy toweled off, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Wait!” he protested, running after the boy, who stopped just before he slipped out the gate. “What’s your name?”

The boy smirked again. “My name’s Phil, angel. I’ll be back next week.” And with a single kiss to the tip of Dan’s nose he was gone.

Huh. Maybe being a pool boy wasn’t so bad after all.


I can’t figure out if I wanna write battle malec or not so in the meantime, have some unsolicited jimon (with like .02 seconds of clizzy).

Jace knocked on the door to his brother’s office. 

“Come in,” Alec shouted.

“Are you busy?” Jace asked as he entered.

“Always,” Alec replied, looking up from his tablet. “What can I do for you?”

Jace stayed by the door. “I need help. But, it isn’t urgent. I can come back some other time, if now is a bad time.”

Alec looked back down at his tablet and pointed to the chair across the desk from him. “Close the door and sit.”

Jace pulled the door closed and crossed the room. He sat down across from the person he trusted most in the universe and blurted out, “How do I tell if someone I might like is hitting on me?”

Alec raised an eyebrow but didn’t look up. “Finally moving on from Clary?”

“Yeah,” Jace answered, running his hand through his hair. “Though, I will never get over the fact that it was Izzy who took her from me.”

“None of us saw that coming,” Alec agreed. “But, why are you asking me for girl advice? I literally have less than no experience with-”

“It’s not a girl,” Jace interrupted.

That caught Alec’s attention. He looked shocked, then confused, then perplexed, and finally understanding. He nodded and pushed his tablet aside, leaning across the desk to look Jace in the eye.

“How long has this been going on?”

Jace shrugged. “It just kinda hit me. I was thinking about how suddenly Clary just decided she wanted Izzy. And I wondered if it was really that easy to just swing so full force the other way, and then his face came to mind and I haven’t been able to shake it since.”

And now you are trying to figure out if he feels the same way about you?”

Jace nodded. “I’m just so used to being the aggressor, you know?”

Alec snorted. “Yeah, I’m aware.”

“But, I think this time I might be out of my depth.” Jace got up and started to pace. “I don’t have any idea how to flirt with a guy, much less a vampire…”

“Vampire?” Alec repeated. “The guy you like, is a vampire?”

Jace stopped. “Did I not tell you I was talking about Simon?”

Alec’s look said all Jace needed to know. He took up pacing again. 

Alec got up from his chair and walked around the desk, sitting on it and watching his parabatai. 

“Are you sure Simon is even-” Alec searched for the right word.

“No,” Jace answered miserably. “I don’t even know if what I’m feeling is real or if I’m just that bad at being single.”

Alec fiddled mindlessly with the ‘B’ ring of Magnus’ he was wearing. “I suppose there’s really only one way to find out.”

“Please don’t tell me I have to talk to him. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“I’m pretty sure he’ll be at my engagement party this weekend,” Alec continued, ignoring his brother’s anxious pleas. “No better time to find out.”

“I hate you.”

An open letter to the man I can’t forget .

I broke up with my new boyfriend because I can’t take it any longer. I know that he loves me so much and he will do anything just to make me happy. But I don’t want to hurt him anymore. That boy belongs to someone else, someone better than me.  He begged for me to stay, did a lot of promises but I still choose to break his heart, if only he can understand how hard it is to see him crying. I killed a part of him who’s willing to sacrifice just to capture my heart.

They say I’m blinded by my past. But they didn’t know that it’s not easy to forget someone who made a big change in your life. I know, I know… time passes so fast and here I am, still searching for you. No one knows the history between us. No one knows how much effect have you done that I still can’t move on until this very day.

I remembered the day we first met. I was a transferred student and I don’t know how to make new friends. You waved at me and smiled.  My cheeks turned red, and waved back at you. It’s one of the happiest days of my life, don’t you believe it? Every time I looked back at the past, remembering you has never been wrong.

Everyone at school loves you, including me, who stalks you a lot. Funny that you didn’t catch me staring at you. Or we can say that you notice me but you don’t mind at all. You’re smart and kind, and let’s not forget to add that you’re pretty handsome. You don’t talk much, but your eyes say it all. If I don’t stop staring at it, I will definitely melt.  And I don’t know what kind of sorcery did you use, but I’m totally into you.

By simply looking at you makes me happy - with every glance makes my heart wander. You’re not fully aware of what kind of magic you used on me, but you changed my world in a whole new level. The moment I saw you I knew that you are special. You even surpass that hypothesis because you made me love you. You made fall deeply in love with you. And I’m glad that it actually happened because I can’t imagine my life without you.

One day you told me, you loved me too. And the reason why you waved at me on the first day of school is because you want me to be yours. I laughed at the sudden confession because I don’t know if you’re making fun of me. I’m not remarkable, unique or whatever, but the thought that you want me to be yours feels so right.  You hold my hand, and kneel in front of me.

“Let’s start again, leave all your worries behind. Let me love you for the rest of our lives.”

Tears started falling into my eyes and the happiness within our hearts was limitless. From that moment on, we both promised that will never let go of each other and that no matter how hard life is will stand tall and we will continue to fight for our love.  

I treasured every day we spent together. No time was ever wasted. You show me the true meaning of living your life in the fullest. You made me the luckiest girl on earth and I’m happy that I found you. The world constantly changes every day, but my love for you will never wilt. The sun will continue to shine and no storms can destroy us.

But every story has an ending and I never thought that this day will come. I recalled the seconds, minutes, hours and days we’ve been together before you gave up your last breath. It was painful seeing you in that bed, in that death bed that separated us. We made a pact, right? But you leave me.

I know that it’s not really your intention to hurt me, but you still did and I hate you for that. I love you so much that it still hurts ‘til this day. It’s been 5 years since you left, but the memories didn’t fade away. I can still remember the way you look after me. I can still feel the warm embrace and how soft your lips were. I remembered everything, every single thing about you.

Sorry that I still can’t fulfill your last words. I don’t know if I can love someone else. Sorry if sometimes I asked God to take my life away so I can be with you now. Sorry for being so heartless. If you’re still alive, for sure you’ll get mad at me. But a promise is still a promise. I’ll try again, okay? For you, I will.

I love you so much and I miss you. No one can ever replace you. I will never forget you.

Please look after me there at heaven.

((lol, shooting a ship down? That’s like 80% of what DC does. No one’s ship is 100% safe, even Batman and Catwoman get separated from time to time. 

Like… do you even know how shipping works? Shipping does not require canon, MOST ships AREN’T canon. How do I feel that my otp isn’t canon, HAPPY that he at least gets to have a BOYFRIEND in canon as opposed to being a single gay character that they don’t have to worry about writing as such. What is your jam, anon?

Why was I opposed to the ship at first? Because they wrote Hart into a closet again. HARTLEY RATHAWAY was all but in the closet again because of how they decided to write David. THAT is why I did not care for the ship at first. Is it being written better now? I’m sure it is, but my closest comic shop is an hour drive away and ya know what I’m tired of being disappointed at $4 a pop.))

Though I am not really into Tsukuyomi theory I doesn`t think it is bad.  I just think it is not logicall to manga. But sometime I think that Tsukuyomi shall be in the manga or maybe even already was.

Once again despite everything Tsukuyomi is major god, if he dies he will surely reincarnate. There is alwasy posibillity that Father is lying but I relly doesn`t see reasons why he should lie to Nora. So in the end I think he is telling the truth about Yato being born from his wish.

That is said there is a problem. No matter how much I think the idea of god being born from a single wish of single human feels like one big cheating. Either Father used some crazy magic to create his pocket god or he actually had help from above.

This goddes told how get Yato from Yomi. I suppose  she also knows his real name and did not tell it because thought that others already know it. And she was glad for him. Maybe she is Tsukuyomi? Though there is strange for such major god being in executioners team. Also though many japanese deitis can be both male and female Tsukuyomi even in early sources is referred as man. But then again very rarely but Tsukuyomi does have female form. Also Bishmonten is pretty much alwas depicted as man but here we have our Viena

May it be that this deity, Tsukuyomi, helped Father to create Yato? But why she would do this? Maybe out of guilt? Of freckled girl death or whatever happened when she died. One of major myths about Tsukuyomi is that he killed Uke Mochi goddes of food. Though highly unlikely that girl was goddes. But still this little deity does connected to Yato in some way

like the idea of marriage is super dope to me.

you and your homie for life

joking around

touching each other genitals

helping each other through the rough shit

being silly

experiencing a lot of first time life experiences like buying a house and shit

making sure y'all don’t leave the house ashy

combining money

and then having little humans that depend on you that are a perfect blend of you and your best friend and shit…and watching them grow up.

that just sounds really ideal tbh

Life lately. 

Work. Things have been extremely stressful and busy at work, but not without it’s rewards. Hard work has been paying off, and I’m excited to see where this continues. It feels really great to love my job, feel like I’m good at my job, and know that other people recognize and believe in me in my job, too. 

Family. My baby nephews are growing up so quickly and I can hardly believe how fast time goes by. Every single picture my sister sends me seems like years have passed and the boys are ready to start arguing and breaking hearts and being less interested in their auntie. But they’re so ridiculously adorable, they melt my heart. Seeing the family a couple of weeks ago was the exact recharge I needed to feel like myself again. That’s the one hard thing about living in NYC, but it sure makes time with them that much more meaningful.

Boyfriend. You heard that right; it’s official: JessCole has a boyfriend and he’s probably reading this right now. Just about a week or so before Valentine’s Day, I found myself swiping on Tinder and not thinking much of it. Then, I got a match, I messaged him, and we’ve been dating for the past few weeks…and it’s been pretty great. So without gushing too much over him, I’ll just say this: I’m really, really happy.

Traveling. My schedule has been all over the place recently, more so than usual, causing me to see glimpses of places here and there. The majority of it is for work, but my next trip is for play - San Diego, here I come! littlejandthecity​ and I will be heading west for an extended weekend trip for some fun, sun, and friends. I’ve never been, so I’m really looking forward to it. 

Fitness. I’ve been getting back on track with my fitness game recently, and I’m getting really excited. I’ve started to really appreciate my balanced workout schedule, noticing how my bootcamp and spin classes are really complimented by some yoga days. Plus, it really helps my body and mind feel refreshed and controlled. Stay tuned for my next marathon: Fall 2015!

Moving. In just over a month, I’ll be saying goodbye to my first, real apartment in NYC, and becoming the new roommate of littlejandthecity​. I’ll be moving exactly four blocks away, and I’m really excited to get it going. Just in time for Spring to show it’s face!

I think those are the main points right now, so there you have it. Thanks for listening, and, Happy Monday!