Tony Stark + Batfam/JL Headcanon masteprost (part 1)
pasting here the headcanon dumps I sent @audreycritter‘s way hehe. Enjoy.
In this universe, Tony & Bruce are friends. they went to boarding school together and just kinda stayed friends, but they dont meet very often. but when Bruce goes missing for 5 years, Tony is scared shitless. As soon as he hears about the Bats, he knows it’s Bruce. He rings him up, asks if he’s okay. gets mad at him for not leaving any messages that he was alive.
and then Tony goes missing for 3 months. and Bruce is scared, too. When Tony returns, Bruce can immediately tell that Tony is faking his camera grins more than before. Can notice Tony clenching his chest. He shows up unannounced one day, during IM2, and asks Tony about the poisoning he’s suspected etc. so when age of ultron happens, Bruce doesnt know how to feel. on the one hand, Ultron went bad. on the other hand, he fucked up so many times by trying his best, he cant be mad at tony. And then civil war happens, and Tony is broken. Broken.
That is all that has been on Shawn’s mind for the past two weeks— That and of course, perfecting his tour rehearsal.
You know him well, underneath that façade and covering he has presented to the world is a very passionate Shawn, who is also remarkably nervous about getting on the road again.
For the last week, it has been you who has been woken to the feel of delicate kisses to your skin, stirring to the warm touch of his fingertips drawing small patterns on your skin while he whispers sweet nothings into your ear, pleasantly lulling you awake.
Today— You find yourself waking before Shawn, the dull ray of light peeking through the hotel curtains as you tug at the white comforter, trying to wrap yourself in it for its warmth. With a heavy sigh, you give up on the covers, acknowledging how Shawn’s body is holding down the comforter with no intentions of parting ways with it.
You shuffle closer to his sleeping body, his head tilted slightly to the side as he sleeps soundly on his back. You press a few luscious kisses on his smooth skin, lacing his neck with loving kisses. A muffled mumble escapes his lips, his eyes still closed. With a small giggle, you proceed to leave kisses on his surface, your fingers trailing his uncovered skin like his does yours.
He muffles another mumble, your lips parting ways with the softness of his skin, your eyes meeting his whisky coloured eyes. “mmm, hey there.” His voice is deep and sleepy, his tongue licking the edge of his lips,
“Hey,” You whisper, leaning down for a kiss, enabling him to leisurely wake up with honeyed kisses.
“It’s a big day.” He breathes with a small smile coating across his delicate lips. You nod in agreement—A lot of anticipation is likely to be boiling inside him as the day has finally arrived. The day of his first show of his second tour.
Many people seem to not have clear who Bertolt Hoover
is, what he is fighting for and, above all, why he behaves like he does. They’re
stuck in their own opinion of the character, which is often too good or too bad,
without any half measure.
Well, I hope this post will be able to open these
people’s mind, making them see Attack on Titan’s story from the top, without
only focusing on their favourite characters, Bertolt included. Yes: I also want
Bertolt’s fans to reconsider their own idea of the character, which is what I
did after chapter 84 was out. I’m not saying you have to hate him or what, the
opposite: what I’m aiming for is to give you a closer view of this guy, paying
more attention to details, and eventually, possibly deal with the way he died.
Before I start, I want you all to have this clear: in this story there isn’t any good or bad
side. All the characters are victims of a cruel world and fight for what
they think is right. It has been said and shown so many times, so if you are
not able to understand this, I invite you to not read forward. It would be just
a waste of time, for me and for you.
For the rest of the people, you’re welcome to read
what follows and let me know you opinion about it. This means you don’t have to
necessarily agree with my words: I just want to give you a closer, possibly
different view of this character to better understand it.
I will start form the event that made me wanted to
write this post: Bertolt’s death.
After a first reading, I was completely shocked about
the poor focus Bertolt had during his last moments. They were all worried
about the serum thing, wondering who was worth to revive between Armin and
Erwin, and Bertolt seemed just like a tool in this, an object and no longer a
person, not a human.
Well, I guess
this is what Isayama want us to believe at this point of the story. The
proof is in the reaction Bertolt has when he figures out he is about to die.
At first, I was greatly disappointed by his behaviour.
He cries out for help, asking to be saved when only few chapters ago he felt
like he was prepared to any outcome, like he was at peace with himself and
ready to leave the scene. His reaction was the thing I hated the most from chapter 84. Because while I was always prepared to see him die, the only thing I
asked was at least for him to have some meaningful, possibly glorious
ending. I always told myself “he is the Colossal Titan
after all, the God of the story” like Isayama himself said “He can’t just
die like Titan food, begging to his old friends like he did in The Clash of
My wish for a memorable and dignitous ending increased
after chapter 78. Here is where Bertolt meets a great, outstanding
development: he goes from being an unwilled, weak character to someone who
is so tired of his hard role that is now able to accept any outcome, death
He is showing us a new resolution, something that both
characters and fans didn’t expect from him. And this makes him look cool, this
makes him worth to be the Colossal Titan, the icon of evil, for the very first
time in nearly eighty chapters.
When we meet his new strength, we his fans are
a bit surprised but also proud of him. Because, let’s be honest: seeing our favourite character showing guts when everyone always underestimated
it gives us a sense of justice and makes us feel braver as well. It
also carries a beautiful message: it says that everyone, even the less
confident creature (which could be us) can take courage and change in a strong
one, taking back their lost dignity.
This is why, as we see all of this falling apart, we
start feeling so angry and sad.
When Bertolt fails, we fail together with him. Because
we created a bound with this character. We felt sad, uneasy and then stronger
with him. We cried with him and with him we aimed to come back home, no matter
what. We were so proud of our boy,
and finally happy to see him so self-aware. This was what made his dead-fate
acceptable. We came to terms with his high chance of dying because we knew
he was ready, and seeing him so scared in chapter 84 comes in like a
Now: I decided to write this post mostly because I
have seen many Bertolt’s fans having my same, first reaction, being angry and
all. After the chapter was out, I was so
disappointed that I felt a sense of rejection towards this character, as well
as for the plot itself. Knowing
how bad and disappointed I felt, I couldn’t do anything but avoid what made me
think about him. It’s a
self-defense mechanism that everyone adopts in fictional things as well as
in real life. It is a human behaviour,
something we can’t blame us because trying to be happy is a everyday challenge
we want to win.
So, how did I win my challenge against Bertolt’s
I started wondering
why this character is so important to me, why I felt so attached to it and,
above all, if I did, really get it right. I went back in the
manga to take all the moments I like the most, and found out something I never
had that clear: this character was
made up to be the Colossal Titan since before the manga even started. It
seems obvious, but it’s not. Isayama gave this character far more attention
that we may imagine. His presence on the scene was carefully managed to be none
in the first thirty chapters, more evident in the following twenty and a mix of
the two in the latest fourty. All to confuse the readers. Readers that
ignore how much a silence presence can tell. In the first fifty chapters we are not, really allowed
to know what’s up in his mind. We never have access to his thoughts and the
only hint of what his feelings are is in his face.
That’s right: Bertolt’s
face was not randomly drawn. Isayama had a clear idea of what the Colossal
Titan’s human form looked like, even before the story started. These are two images from the original Attack on
Titan’s draft, the very first version of the story never been published:
He already has the miserable look we all know. He is
desperate, and we won’t be able to know why for a long time. As the story goes
on, despite the author improving style, his face hardly gets big changes, especially
His eyes are what
speaks for him. They communicate his feelings better and in a more
sincere way then his own mouth, carefully kept shut mostly because of his true identity. If we pay attention to these eyes, we would be able to see and
understand everything this character is hiding.
Let’s take chapter 78 again, and try reading it paying
more attention to his face. When he confronts Armin, his old comrade and
friend, he puts great effort in making his words credible by wearing a cold,
If we carefully look at his face, we would notice the great
effort he puts in making his eyes look determined. They change from their
usual, good look to something that only pretends to be evil. He doesn’t want to
kill his friends: he has to, as he clearly says just few panels
This is the behaviour of someone that has some hidden,
but good reason to act like this. He doesn’t really believe his own words, and
this is pretty much evident in two panels, the ones in which he is shouting
that he will kill everyone:
In these two panels his eyes are not visible: Isayama
is hiding them because what he is saying is so unbelievable to him himself that
he is not even able to look at his enemy, neither at us readers.
So, I don’t want to kill your convinctions, but the
resolution displayed in this chapter is
not a real change. What Bertolt is doing is simply, fully taking the
responsibility of his role for the very first time in his life. He is so tired
and so eager to put an end to everyone’s suffering that he is forcing himself to be something he was never ready to become.
What triggered this sudden decision were probably
Reiner’s words in chapter 77:
He, who is the only person Bertolt really has, claims
nothing but the raw truth: Bertolt was never a reliable person, not when it
came to their mission. He always stood apart simply because he was never,
really able to accept his role. This is so true that even Bertolt himself admits it, putting on the most bitter and genuine smile:
He is just too good to really take his responsibility as the Colossal Titan, and this is why his death
was not epic as we would like it to be.
The Colossal Titan is
Bertolt. But Bertolt was never the Colossal Titan. He only managed to
reach its goddish nature in chapter 82, which is what I consider the best
written and drawn chapter of the entire series, as well as the most important
chapter for this guy’s development.Here,
not only Bertolt is talking like a god, he also resembles the divine, someone so
sure about his power and strength that is not even able to see Armin’s smart
I already mentioned that Isayama drawn the Colossal
Titan thinking about it as the God of the series. He says that it symbolizes
the ruler on humanity, the individual who decides who lives and who dies. But the Colossal Titan is also something else: it is
what Bertolt was never ready to become, the monster we never really see in his
human eyes. On one side this is kinda disappointing, because one of the
features we like the most about Bertolt is the fact that he is actually the
mascotte of the series, which makes him a cool character, someone to respect
despite him being an insecure, timid guy like many real people.
But this is the other side we really like: his nature as a human. We are able to
feel an empathy with him because he is a victim of his own fate. No matter what
he did: he is good, and we know this very well. If he really was evil, we
probably wouldn’t love him as we do. We like him because of his tragic
position, an unavoidable condition that makes him interesting and deep in a
subtle way that other characters don’t have.
And all of this comes
first than him simply being the cool and scary Colossal Titan.
So, what’s wrong with the way he dies? Was the
glorious ending we all imagined really appropriate for this character? Was
really in his character to leave the scene as a fearless hero?
Sure the way he
dies is rough, and cruel, and way too fast. And we hate it because we know he
did’t, really deserve such a pain. But we don’t have to forget what is
Bertolt’s role in the story: since he was revealed as the Colossal Titan, we
started wondering about who the enemy really is, if it really is the Titans or,
more interestingly, the humans inside the walls. This is something we
shouldn’t leave apart, because this is what will bring back Bertolt’s character
in the future, finally giving to his death the meaning it deserves. We just
have to wait for the right moment, which wasn’t in chapter 84.
So, for Bertolt’s fans: don’t be sad for this
character, because he died as the character we learnt to love, and we should be
happy about this. He didn’t die like the Colossal Titan, like the monster he
never wanted to be. He died like Bertolt, like the human we constantly see in
He died scared, because Bertolt was scared of dying.
He had his moment of glory, but when facing death he left the scene without
losing his humanity, proving that we were always believing in something true: he has always been a good guy until the
This is why you shouldn’t stop loving him as you did until now. You have to cope with the fact that he is indeed an unlucky character: this is his only “fault”. Rejecting him because of this would be like rejecting a son or a doughter because they’ve born with some sort of desease. And I know that people like you (and like me) would never do such a thing.
Bertolt Hoover is not a character for all. Understanding him is hard, and only few people are able to feel such a close empathy with him. You should be proud of this.
I didn’t spend a word about the Armin eating Bertolt thing, because I don’t think it was the real problem behind the disappointment we all felt for Bertolt. Armin becoming a Titan is more a damage for the plot itself then for Bertolt’s fate. Chapters 83 and 84 were definitely the worst chapters in the story of this manga, but I have at least found a way to not hating my favourite character, and that’s enough.
This post should’ve been a Vlog, but my shitty computer left me while I was making the montage. I didn’t want to wait longer to share these thoughts with you, because I felt like you needed now.
I am so sorry this has taken so long. Here is the long awaited chapter 6! I hope you all enjoy. I’ll try to do better about writing more often. As always let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list.
You and your boss stepped off the elevator and began walking
back towards his office.
“I still don’t know how you do it sometimes.”
“Well I’m not sure I would have this time had you not been
there with your little small town knowledge.”
“Yes! Country mouse-1 City Mouse-0. Do you think maybe you
could repeat that for the folks back home?” You both laughed as you arrived
back at your desk. You couldn’t help but notice the smirk that was on Carmen’s
face, but quickly looked away.
“Alright, well before the next fiasco begins, I think I’m
going to take a lunch break now.”
“Oh, will you bring me back something?” Rafael started to
reach for his wallet.
“Sure, if you want me to bring you back a dress of your own.
I’m going dress shopping for this weekend.” You laughed and reached for your
“Oh. Well, yea. In that case, I’ll just order something in.”
“I’ll try to be as quick as possible, boss” You turned to
head towards the elevator as Rafael went into his office. He sat at his desk
and stared at the phone. Pulling out a card, he quickly dialed a number.
Betty and Jughead are out of college and rooming together and it
couldn’t have been a more self-destructive decision. They’re both in
love and best friends since the dawn of time. Jughead pining for Betty who has no idea, What could go wrong?
Bitch this took so long I am sorry. School just started back up again and it’s been hectic preparing and I just have been so stressed out. I am sorry that it took awhile but I needed to take a breather. I am really excited to show this chapter with you guys. It’s of the first hours of Betty and Jughead’s road trip. Archie confronts his feelings about breaking up with Sabrina. I tagged some hella awesome and kind people below :)
got a fast car
Is it fast enough so you can fly away?
You gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way
Fast car – Tracy
As they grew farther away from New York Betty and Jughead
felt as though they had finally got back in sync. Betty would watch out the car
window with her feet upon the dash as they discussed The Shining in detail and whether John Lennon is actually dead. Jughead
had this incredibly extensive thought out theory that he was actually the
zodiac killer. Betty did not find this amusing given that he was one of her
“There’s no way.”
“Not even a little part of you thinks that he could be out
“No Jughead, I do not think that John Lennon is still alive
and has been murdering people out in the country for decades!”
“Oh but c’mon, don’t you see a little resemblance?”
“You sure about that? Like what has Yoko been doing all
these years? Hmmmmm?”
“You know what I think Juggie?”
The nickname left an ache in his chest. It bloomed and
settled over his heart as he looked back on the road. The name left him
breathless as he warmed at the thought of her calling him that again.
“What do you think Betty?”
“I call you’re bullshit. You just want me to think that
John’s the murderer when all along it’s been you. You!” Betty proclaimed with a
feigned look as she pointed at him.
“Me?” Jughead yelled in disbelief.
“Yes you! This is your entire foiled out plan, you’ve
already got me trapped in your car. I may as well just jump out of this truck
right now.” Betty began to unbuckle her seatbelt.
“I am in grave danger! This man is trying to kill me!” Betty
yelled out the window.
“Betty! We’re on the highway!”
Betty began to crawl out the sliding window behind their
heads into the bed of the truck.
“You’ll never take me alive Jughead Jones!”
“Betty that phrase doesn’t even apply to the point you’re
trying to prove!”
“Shut up! We’re having a moment!”
At this the whites of Jughead’s eyes brightened and an
incredulous smile fell upon his face.
“A moment huh?”
“Don’t you get smart with me.”
Cars around them started to honk around their truck, which
was going at a rate of 25 in a 65 speed limit. Car after car passed them and
Jughead had proceeded to receive many middle fingers.
“Betty please get back in your seat!”
“And if I don’t?”
“You know then I’m just gonna have to turn off the tap.”
“Yes, no sex for you ma’am.”
“Sir. Sir. SIR.” Betty continued, as with each ‘sir’ her
voice got more aggressive. A wide smile spread across both their faces.
Betty crawled back into her seat.
“You know this is really rude of you sir.”
“Ma’am there’s nothing I can do for you. I certainly can’t
have sex with a dangerous maniac who jumps into beds of trucks!”
“Sir, this is
Both were fighting back hysterics as they continued to fight
on. Jughead’s face grew redder by every time Betty would purposefully yell
“I know it is very rude of me, my sincerest apologies ma’am.”
“You should be, sir.”
They both snickered as Jughead sped the car up.
“Did Archie tell you about Sabrina?”
“Yeah, god I feel awful. We shouldn’t have left him all
alone in New York after the break up becoming official.”
Betty’s eyes widened as she raked her hands through her hair
as the guilt set over her. Archie was always there for her when she was
heartbroken and she selfishly ran out of town.
“Don’t feel bad.”
“How can you say that?”
“Well A, he did practically invite me on this trip for you.
And B, I talked to him and I don’t actually think he’s that upset. I sincerely
think he’s going to be okay.”
Jughead’s free hand reached over and tightened his hand
around her thigh. Blood rushed to Betty’s cheeks as she felt his hand linger
until settling higher upon her thigh. Her eyes floated up to the man across
from the steering wheel. His jaw tensed and he let out a heavy breath. She
rested her hand over his and traced over his fingers. His shoulders relaxed at
the action and his chest warmed as he focused on the feeling.
“Why do you think that Archie’s not upset.”
“It was weird. He was weird. He said something about loving
her but he’s not sure if he really wanted her or loved her in that way? He said
that he thinks he is realizing something.”
Jughead hesitated. His mind wandered back to the
conversation Jughead had had with Archie before Betty arrived at the diner.
“I think there’s a reason why I’m never upset when I break
up with girls.”
“Oh really, see I just thought it was because you’re such a Casanova.” Jughead said as he winked at
Archie as he finished his line.
“Alright, alright, okay yeah I do admit that I’ve always
thought it was a little strange on how you went through girl after girl and
never getting too upset about it.”
“I think it’s also the same weird reason for why I found it
so easy to give up on me and Betty back when we were kids.”
“Yeah, I never quite understood why you ever had the
strength to give up on Betty Cooper.”
“This is coming from the boy who spent fifteen years pining
before getting anywhere.”
“Hey, hey, no need to hurt my feelings.”
“Sorry, but are you kidding? The look you had on your face
at the 6th grade spring fling? There’s no way I was going to get in
the way of that.” A sweet smile spread upon Archie’s face as he thought back to
the couple head over heels at such a young age.
Jughead had never thought about it, how Archie had always
known it before even he knew it. Archie knew Jughead was in love with Betty
Cooper before Jughead could even imagine it.
“Thank god, cause I don’t know what sixteen year old me
would have done if I had to compete with the one and only crew cut babe of
Riverdale: Archibald Andrews.”
“So what are you saying anyway?”
“I don’t think that…”
“Never mind, it’s stupid.”
“With Betty, is it always so physical? Like what’s it like
to want someone? Are you always thinking about her in bed or-“
“Wo-oah stop there big boy.”
“Well yeah for awhile it’s been like that. It’s kind of hard
not to think about it. Everything physical feels so, so needy. Like I’m way too
invested in her or something.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a girl that way. I feel like
I was just doing it cause it seemed like the thing you’re supposed to do.”
“That surprises me.”
“It’s been surprising me too. God I think I know why but I’m
“Not entirely ready to face the idea of it?”
Archie looked up to Jughead as he watched him with an
understanding. Archie noticed how the blue in his eyes lightened as he stared
back at him. Archie’s eyes raked over Jughead’s face until reaching his lips.
Archie quickly looked away and began to scratch the back of his head.
“Maybe you should talk to Betty about it. She needs to not
be the center of inner turmoil gossip for a bit.”
“Maybe. Just don’t-“
“I don’t think Archie doesn’t really know quite yet what
he’s realizing. I think what he said to me was only meant for me to hear.
Something about it felt very private. I’m not sure if I should go on.”
“Oh, okay. Just promise me he isn’t thinking of becoming a
“OH MY GOD Betty No!”
Betty erupted into a fit of laughter as Jughead’s mouth held
wide open at the absurd and risqué idea.
“God! What is wrong with you?”
“Well, there are many things, one of them being this boy with a weird hat keeps making me say weird things.”
“Weird things huh?” Jughead led a smirk as Betty lowered further into her seat as she caught his eye.
Summary: Teenagers Dan Howell and Zoe Sugg work together to find out what the effects of changing nerdy invisible good boy Dan to sexy popular bad boy Dan will have on the public. Dan isn’t too excited about the experiment until the rich and popular goody goody Phil Lester notices him.
izaya, shizuo and kida when their s/o says they want to break up? your writing is amazing btw :)
There’s a strange feeling in the air, and he just can’t place his finger
exactly on what’s wrong. Aside from the usual routine that he goes through, watching
as you go about your day at his apartment, there’s still something wrong here.
There’s something wrong with the way you act.
And it’s so amusing.
A dry laugh perfectly hidden by his smirk, it irks him to think that you
foolishly believe in the fact that he doesn’t know. No no, if he had chosen you
to be his significant other, then his one and only favourite human should know
him better—by the barest tint more than others, of course—and should be able to at least figure that
out. But you were still tugging at the collar of your shirt, and he finds it disturbing how you’re trying your best
to stay calm.
Izaya can see, he can tell. He knows what’s different today, like how
you haven’t poured tea for him yet. You haven’t called Masaomi today, never
mind the fact that you’ve seem to forgotten about his words the day before. (Don’t
leave your bag there, or you just might find it missing the day after, ne?) The office chair spins slightly as
Izaya lands his gaze on the bag, which he
knows has been strategically placed. King of hearts—the deck has already
been shuffled and yet you still think that he can’t see what you’re hiding with
those fingertips of yours that hold the secret.
You still think that you have the upper hand.
(Aa, how long, I wonder?)
He knows that his finger has already hit the bullseye, metaphorically
speaking. He’s caught you in your tracks that’ll surely lead to a dead end,
caught you sneaking away with a grin still placed on his features.
Unpredictable, yes, you were like that at times, but this was something that
he’d seen coming long, long ago.
So he waits. Time’s still ticking
even if this sad relationship has to
go, and he’s still got a job to do. (Shiki-san would hate it if I got distracted
by problems like these. Ahaha, what a poor choice of words—he’d be irritated!) He’s patient. That’s something about
him that he likes.
He’s far more patient than anyone
else—it’s essential if he wants
everything to go according to what he likes and wants, after all.
Izaya keeps his silver tongue in
check, and just for this day, he only
smiles—smiles and smiles to the point where he knows it’s creeping you out.
And that’s what he wants.
Maybe you’d change your mind. He
believes in that one percent, and if
the other ninety-nine happens to be true—
Then, when his thin fingers grip
the handle of the tea cup, the one where he’s poured for himself, that’s when
his brow arches slightly and amusement slides onto his face like a snake.
“Izaya,” his name rolls of your
It almost makes him shiver.
Izaya doesn’t stop to stare at
you, not when the tea’s far more
important. Delightful taste—that shop in Ikebukuro is having a sale soon.
It’s about time he bought some more.
Humming quietly, he nods and urges
you to go on, unable to stop his own lips from curling up when you speak.
The small clink that the cup makes is like a signal for you to finish your
sentence, and he loves how perfect the noises flow, one after another.
“I’m breaking up with you.”
Oh, how boring, how uncreative, how undramatic!
Such a poor sentence, such a poor, poor and weak choice of words—so there’ s
only one more thing for you to fall back on, and he gives that a ten out of ten. Your emotions shine through brilliantly, so he lets himself chuckle.
“Haaa? Finally gotten tired of me? Well well,” he says. “Go then, I see
that you’ve already prepared for this, [name].”
Resuming to go through his emails,
he can feel your stare on him as you stand there, perhaps slack-jawed.
What is there to be surprised
about? He knows you know how he is, and he sees nothing out of the ordinary
here. He’s still Orihara Izaya, and Orihara Izaya is an asshole until the
curtains fall. Deft fingers pause to wave you a goodbye before resuming typing
on the keyboard.
(Ah? Haven’t left?)
He keeps his thoughts to himself.
No point in fighting fire with fire—giving you his attention would only make
you stay, after all.
It only takes another minute
before you mutter out a ‘bye’ and leave, he counts.
And even then, Izaya isn’t really
sure about what to do, other than
ignore the feeling that closely resembles a broken clock as he calls his
secretary—giving her an off day today.
It’s raining outside.
It’s still early in the morning,
so you take your time.
Funny, funny, funny, you find it
funny how when it comes to Shizuo, you’re slow. You’re gentle. You’re more
caring. You’re less sharp, less blunt.
Maybe it’s because he’s like a
Slow, take it slow.
Yes, that’s what you have to do.
In terms of relationships, Shizuo
really isn’t the best at them. You understand that. Shizuo is curious. Shizuo
isn’t a playboy, no, he’s more of a fragile flower. Just one wrong move and
he’ll most likely break. But such a flower doesn’t exist, so he’s more of a
sensitive person, you decide.
This was going to impact him
deeply, you knew.
When it comes to affection, Shizuo
knows how to do that. Instinct, it’s all instinct. It’s his first time walking
down this path with you, his first time relaxing and smiling and holding
someone he loves. It’s his first time returning to your apartment and being
greeted with a smile.
It’s his first time experiencing a
So when he wakes up, you know that
he’s still groggy and drowsy.
He makes his way to the bathroom,
the sound of the door closing—that’s how you know. The kitchen is neatly
furnished to your liking, and the counters don’t have much on them. He’s always
liked sweet things, you recall.
You suppose, that’s why you’re
making pancakes for him.
On this day, the one where he’s
supposed to be upset, you’re here and making such lovely food and serving it to
him with a smile?
lessen the impact.)
You never really were a good liar,
and even if you were, Shizuo would be able to find out easily. But for the sake
of today, you’ll just try to drown yourself (and him, for now) in denial.
Your eyes shut as you hear
footsteps, and feel his hands wrapping around your waist.
“Good mornin’,” he whispers, hauntingly close to your ear.
wrong wrong no you’re not supposed to treat me like this nononono)
“…Morning to you too, Shizuo.”
It’s half-hearted, it’s not
sincere, but Shizuo doesn’t question it. You can feel him hesitating, but he
plants a small kiss to your cheek before letting go, taking his place at the
dining chair. The pancakes are almost done, and they’re like a bomb, ticking
painfully slow to the real event, the real climax, the real boom that’s about to happen.
No, Shizuo won’t get mad—you understand
And maybe that’s why you’re doing
this. Should you have been breaking up with him for reasons like that, then you
would’ve changed your mind and tried to get over that silly fear long ago.
Fearing Shizuo’s strength was something akin to nonsense, no, he would never
hurt you—but that just meant that you were still going to leave him.
The reason why didn’t really matter now.
Shizuo murmurs a small ‘thank you’
like he does each day you cook for him, and you can see his face brightening
slightly at the sight of you. You’re
the light, the savior of his world, but it’s a shame that every light dies out,
is it not?
He gives in and asks you that.
You almost give in and scream.
“…I’m breaking up with you,
The frightful impact of your words
don’t register in his still-sleepy mind, and you have to wait before his
Desperation, it’s not something
that you see in his eyes every day. But although he still looks fine, still
looks the way only Heiwajima Shizuo could pull off, those brown hues of his can’t
hide what he’s feeling at all.
“…Yeah, I’ll help you pack your
things after you’ve finished eating.”
“…Reasons,” you finally answer, forcing a sigh
and looking away. Shizuo is still looking at you, and you catch a glimpse of
those pleading eyes as you walk out,
unable to stand being in the same room with him.
“I…” Shizuo mumbles, and you pause
in your tracks to hear what he has to say.
“…I’m sorry,” Shizuo says.
It hurts to know that he’s being
perfectly honest. He thinks that it’s
him who’s the reason why you’re leaving, he thinks
that you don’t love him anymore, he thinks
that everything’s his fault.
And despite your own words, your reply lunging at you, clawing
furiously to be let out, (It’s not your fault, don’t apologize like
that, don’t do that don’t do it don’t do that don’t be like this please) you only clear your throat as another
step takes you out of the kitchen and into the living room. The sound of
silence is the only thing prominent now, lines and lines of jumbled words
forming in your mind.
You think of playing it off as a joke,
but you don’t want to make the situation any worse.
Shizuo just thinks that this
wouldn’t have happened if he was a better
(We can work things out, I know, I–)
Empty gazes and empty tones are
what he hates. He dislikes those who aren’t genuine, so he dislikes himself.
But he can’t find it in his heart
to dislike you, because he can tell that your voice is full of that emotion he
likes to hear from others—
And your face is full of that
melancholy that he sometimes hates.
Masaomi realizes that he likes the
ground, a lot. The cement reminds him of the times he’s spent overcoming obstacles, reminds him of the troubles he had
with you, reminds of how things were always tough but he got out, safe.
Then, the yellow paint on the
ground reminds him of the gang that he’d created, all the troubles he went
through as a result.
He feels light-headed.
A sole breath feels far too
difficult, but he manages, if barely. A flicker, and his eyes rise up to meet
yours. Without any sense, without any second thought, his words are leaving his
mouth faster than he can move, and they’re all the more desperate, all the more
upset, all the more unhappy.
“At—At least tell me why!”
There’re stars up in the night sky
They don’t calm you down, and neither
do they calm Masaomi. But they’re still the remnants of the happy memories you
shared with Masaomi, the times where you and him went through all the trouble
to find a nice spot to star gaze. Shh, be still, Kida tells himself. He is
fidgeting, shaking, and you fear that he might even start crying—but he doesn’t.
He stills himself.
“I don’t want to hear that, it’s
me, isn’t it?”
Your lips purse in discomfort. It’s
not him, you know. But it’s hard to explain why, so you opted out of the ‘explanation’
“I can’t say, Masaomi.”
He runs a hand through his hair,
mouth open as he takes another deep breath.
You take a step back, still
smiling softly at him.
“It’s not you, Kida,” you begin,
His fists are clenched, the boy beginning
to shake despite his best efforts. He tries to count, tries to slow his heart
beat. He remembers Mikado telling him once about breathing in and out slowly,
but he can’t seem to do that right now.
It’s like your words have stabbed
him throughout, because certainly, that’s how he feels.
But he brushes your previous words
off, the impact of the next one, he knows, will be far greater than them. He
knows what you’re about to say, but he can’t help but feel that you’re lying.
He’s experienced rejection before,
but never this intense.
(could this even be counted as a rejection if his heart feels like a
hammer has smashed it open…?)
summary: dan is everything phil wishes he was; bright and bold, a figure of energy and intensity. he fascinates phil, and phil wants to know more about him, but doesn’t want to step into the spotlight. however, he doesn’t have a choice, as far as dan’s concerned.
word count (p3)- 2.3k
a/n: part 3 hi i hope u like it feedback is v much appreciated !! and im not really sure how long i want to go with this so tell me if u want it to be long and i will make it so laughs
It’s getting dark, now, the kind of blue dark where everything is cold, shadowed, but not quite dark enough to let go of the day. Phil treasures this time of day, because it’s a time where you can just sit, waiting for complete darkness while you begin to feel the pricks of cold eat at your skin. It’s a place after the day, but before the night. Somewhere in between.
The comparison’s a little more complicated than that, and I’m not totally sure it had anything to do with physical appearance, one way or the other. The quote comes from a letter he wrote to Rhona Beare (a very curious fan). When she asked if the crown of Gondor looked like that of a Valkyrie, he responded:
The Númenóreans of Gondor were proud, peculiar, and archaic, and I think are best pictured in (say) Egyptian terms. In many ways they resembled ‘Egyptians’ – the love of, and power to construct, the gigantic and massive. And in their great interest in ancestry and in tombs. (But not of course in 'theology’ : in which respect they were Hebraic and even more puritan…) I think the crown of Gondor (the S. Kingdom) was very tall, like that of Egypt, but with wings attached, not set straight back but at an angle. The N. Kingdom had only a diadem the difference between the N. and S. kingdoms of Egypt.
So, really, it’s Gondor (and Arnor) that Tolkien compared to Egypt. This was mainly because of Numenor - Tolkien mentioned many times that he equated Numenor with Atlantis. According to ancient legends (Plato, I think?), the survivors from Atlantis went on to inhabit Egypt. So, for Tolkien, it made sense to equate Numenor/Atlantis’s survivors (the Dunedain) with Egypt. So Tolkien’s statement that the Numenoreans of Gondor were “best pictured in Egyptian terms” could be interpreted in a bunch of different ways. The fact that he only directly references architecture and the design of Gondor and Arnor’s crowns suggest that it might’ve only been a cultural resemblance, but it could also be taken to mean a more physical resemblance as well.
I’m actually not sure about Numenoreans all being pale… if you’ve seen that written somewhere, could you let me know? I mean, we know that there were other people with darker skin (for example, the Dunlendings and the men of Lebennin were said to have a darker tone, while the Haradrim were plainly described as “black” or “swarthy” a couple times. But it could easily be that the Numenoreans had a more olive-toned skin, which could fit in a bit more with the Egyptian comparison. (But if I’ve missed something here, let me know!)
Is tracing "cheating"? Because I usually start with a picture and then do my first sketch on top of it. And then I get a compliment about how close the resemblance is and I'm not sure how to answer
I don’t consider it cheating. It helps you reference and get used to the feel of how the anatomy works and to get those hand muscles moving. When I traced, people would say the same thing and I would tell them “Hey I traced this,” or just uncomfortably slide away (mostly because I was embarrassed that no, I’m not really that good, this is traced). SO I started making sure to keep those sketches to myself as practice ones and not show anyone (because it is uncomfortable and also unethical if you don’t admit it’s a tracing) so maybe just start doing that!