not so happy with this but all for amanda :)

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.

I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.

About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.

I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”

She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.

She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.

Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.

“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”

I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.

He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.

He deleted his Tinder profile.

6

dirk gently’s holistic detective agency + text posts 1/?

HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN!!!!

3

In case you couldn’t tell from the obsessive yelling, I am thoroughly enjoying Dirk Gently. So heres an attempt to fit all the awesomeness into one giant picture. I think I mostly succeeded (although I missed out the Rowdies…and Pepe…and, well a lot honestly), but I’m pretty happy with it. Also have some bonus icons/close ups because I’m really happy with how these two dorks turned out.

iamtonyredgrave  asked:

Cool. Well my prompt is this.: How about a prompt where the bullies in Angel Grove are belittling and spreading rumors about Trini around highschool which is causing the yellow ranger a lot of distress. Kimberly steps in like the protective girlfriend she is and confronts those bullies and gives them a stern and physical warning :)

It starts slowly, for Trini. First, she’s roughly shouldered in the hallway by the brainless beefcakes and their entourage (which she hardly feels, but it’s hard to not notice the glare it’s partnered with) before escalating to her books being dashed out of her hands and her locker being defaced in ugly red, the word dyke prominent and angry across the face of it. Trini hardly breathes a sigh, but merely waits for the cleaners to do their job.

It’s getting harder and harder to hide from her girlfriend, too. Kimberly’s observant, and she notices when Trini avoids talking about getting to class late with papers askew in her hands, or why she texts Kim to say she’ll meet her in the cafeteria instead of at her own locker.

One day, though, Kim sees it for herself.

It’s after gym, with Trini changing in a corner with her back to the rest of the room (god only knows it’s the only way to escape the accusing looks if she manages to so much as catch another girls eye while she’s changing) when she’s slammed into the wall.

“What the hell?” Trini whirls around, only to get face-to-face with Amanda, resident bitch, one of the Top Three before Kim was booted from their ranks.

“Oh, hey Trini. Just thought I’d teach you a lesson for looking at me, dyke.”

“Like I ever would. You’re not my type, you know? Sorry to break it to you.” Trini spits back.

“Yeah, sure. And who is your type, huh? Kimberly?” Amanda turns around then, looks at her minions scattered around the room. “You guys remember Kim, right? Our old friend? Think she’d go for some angry, pining lezzie with a creepy crush on her?”

“Nah, last I heard Kim was all about Jason,” one of them pipes up.

“Oh, that’s right. Jason Scott. Golden boy, until that whole cow thing. How does it feel to know he’s fucking Kim instead of you?”

“Jeez Amanda, I don’t know. How does it feel? Seeing as it’s obvious you’ve got a big fat crush on him yourself.” Trini’s almost finding this funny now, but gym’s over and she’d really like to get to bio to see Kim. “Now, not that this hasn’t been fun, but I’ve gotta go.”

“No way. You’re not leaving that quickly.” Amanda steps in to her space, crowding over her. “You’re gonna sit right here, because we’re just gonna have a bit of a talk to you.”

“Sure thing, babe,” Trini steps up to Amanda, tilting her chin up. “As I said, you’re not my type, but maybe I can teach you something.”

“You fucking little-“ There we go. Amanda steps back and swings. Trini’s ready for the impact (not that it’ll hurt, but she’s interested to see how this plays out), surprised and kind of proud that she managed to rattle Prom Queen enough that she actually gets her hands dirty. She hears a smack, but feels nothing, and opens her eyes to see Amanda’s fist caught in a hand that Trini knows like her own.

“Sorry Amanda, you were saying?” Kim’s voice rings out, and God is Trini happy to hear it. Kim turns to Trini, her hand still wrapped around Amanda’s. “Sorry for interrupting, but I thought I’d come meet you before bio.”

“All good, we were just chatting.” Trini takes the chance to glance around the room at the shell-shocked bottle blondes in various states of undress.

“Right.” Kim turns back to Amanda, twisting her arm and forcing her to her knees. “So, I heard a little of what you said there. No, Jason Scott and I aren’t fucking. No, this doesn’t mean that you’d ever have a chance in hell with him, because he’s a good guy who’d never be into a vile, self-centred bitch like you. Now, I might have done some seriously shitty things in my life, but I’ve done what I can to make up for them. At least I’m not the one throwing around homophobic insults like it’s fucking 1963.”

“Now, you’re going to watch Trini leave, and I’ll be right behind her, and you’re not going to touch a hair on my girlfriend’s head because if you do, I will absolutely fucking demolish you.” She nudges her head at Trini, and Trini takes the cue and leaves, trusting Kim to follow her. She does, catching up with her as she exits the gym, joining their hands together.

“Okay, now that? I’m not gonna lie, that was hot.” Trini jokes as they walk down the mostly empty halls to biology.

Kim smiles beside her, but tugs on Trini’s hand and pulls her to a stop. “Trin, why didn’t you defend yourself? You could’ve easily blocked or dodged that.”

“Maybe I was just waiting for my white knight to save me.”

“Fine, we’ll talk about it later. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve been hiding this from me for a while, though.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Trini leans into Kim’s arm, savouring the warmth of her. “Wait,” she pulls back and looks her girlfriend in the eye, “girlfriend? Are you sure you’re ready for people to know?”

“Oh, well.” Kim puts an arm around Trini’s waist as they keep walking. “I guess I was just tired of people making assumptions about me, and thinking that you have some gross crush on me. I mean, it’s true, you do, but it’s not the issue they’re making it out to be.”

“God, you’re gross.”

“You love it.”

“You know I do.”

Because Arrow Loves Felicity Smoak!!

Because Arrow loves Felicity Smoak and because in a season 3 review; the first true villain Oliver encounters is Amanda Waller; Head of ARGUS, it follows that Lyla Michaels is the new Amanda Waller and she is the true leader of Helix

There is no doubt in my mind that Lyla is a much smarter -less deadly version of Amanda Waller; but non the less after the same goal.  In Season 3 Amanda recruited Oliver to kill and torture for her. Lyla is the “old friend”!

Originally posted by coruscant-sky

But Lyla is much more intelligent than Amanda. She works in the business of gathering information. So instead of recruiting Vigilantes like Amanda did and forcing them to kill.  Lyla provides centers with computers and invites anti-government hackers to come in by choice to do their anti-institutional hacking right under her nose; meanwhile she collects the information and pictures from all cell phones all over the world and uses them under the justification that it is all for the greater good; for her crime prevention act.  The hackers are happy doing it voluntarily; Lyla does not have to twist arms, threaten or kill to get anyone to work for her; they do it by choice.

Originally posted by smoakgifs


Why not tell Felicity? Because John Diggle does not know. Neither does Felicity and team Arrow.  Because we saw in 5.08 that Lyla keeps a separate professional life from John; and because Arrow loves Felicity Smoak when they write her dark arc; they make her dark handler be Lyla Michaels. That is why Helix headquarters seamed super friendly; because Lyla plays a great psychological game.

That is what WM was talking about with her Wiki reference; she is trying to tell us that these hacker groups don’t know that they are tools manipulated by certain branches of government to leek the right information to the public at the right time; that they are being used unbeknownst to them.
Lyla wants to help the team; but she doesn’t want to offer her help for free or necessarily want to tell John about her new toy; Helix; so she has Alena approach Felicity with the offer to help with Pandora.. information from ARGUS; dirt on everyone; to get her to break codes and infiltrate Homeland security and other government organizations; because we know; they all like to spy on each other.

Originally posted by queensarrow

So while John and Oliver work to get Felicity out of Helix realizing that she is dabbling with something dark; they discover the true owner of Helix; Oliver rescues Felicity; they end up in the bunker.

John and Lyla have a huge fight though; because Lyla had Pandora all along and could have saved John from prison; instead she used Felicity’s need to help John to dangle Pandora in front of her; to use her love and concern for John and later for Oliver as weapons to recruit Felicity behind his back.  Lyla let her husband sit in prison; while Felicity searched.

Originally posted by candicesalvatore

It ends well though; because John makes Lyla let Felicity go; but in the same episode that Olicity is on their way to recovery; Dyla is maybe due for a breakup; because John feels used and betrayed; and that explains why John doesn’t ask ARGUS’s help in the season finale of this year; when they face an ex-suicide squad member in Boomerang.

Keep reading

6

dirk gently’s holistic detective agency + tumblr text posts 2/?

I have been having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time lately… and then I got a series of packages from one of my absolute favorite people in the world: @amanda-rex! (She is one of the most amazing, fantabulous people (and writers!) ever, so I really recommend getting to know this stellar human being.)

I am overwhelmed with joy and just wanted to share the amazing things I can now put up all over the my room, on my bags and just generally squee over. Rogue One, and Jyn/Cassian in particular, mean SO much to me and I’m so thrilled to be able to add so many more things to my collection and I’m just sitting here grinning like an idiot. I AM SO CHUFFED :D :D :D :D

I am so lucky to have some of the very best friends anyone could ever ask for ♥

I’m so proud of the Dirk Gently fandom. I don’t think that I’ve seen any hateful posts here, or really any drama. We all just want everyone in the show (excluding Friedkin?) to be happy. Also, the amount of creativity and art that has come from eight episodes is mind-boggling, and the next season will inspire so much more, I hope. I really think that this is just one of the most supportive and adorable fandoms out there and I’m so thankful to be a part of it.

Kinda wanna say somethin,

I’ve noticed that Michael De Santa gets A LOT of hate. Now I know I have a lot of fanon shit I like with him, but I wanna be honest about his character.

Michael is honestly trying so hard too be a great father. He treats his kids as best as he can, but, his kids are spoiled and quite bratty. And, didn’t Jimmy DRUG Michael and then put the blame on him? Correct me if I’m wrong.

And then Amanda got all pissy at M, though, not taking into consideration that it was Jimmy’s doing.

Yes, it was bound too happen that Amanda left Michael, but, really. Wasn’t Amanda just with Michael for the money?

Yeah, Michaels a ‘liar’. A 'snake’. But when he left Trevor, he was expecting a good, happy life with his family. But here it happens. His life crashes more. His wife’s always bullshitting on him. When all Michael wanted was too make everything good. No crime. No bad stuff.

And his children don’t treat him any better.

And when Trevor comes back around, Michael just seems so drained. Like he wants too give up.

His wife’s gone, his children are gone, and he’s back at square one with criminal shit.

And it breaks my heart when Michael wakes up, pointing a gun around his house.

He honestly deserves more love before people shit on him.

You gotta think about what Michaels going through.

What he went through.

Multi-shipping is so much fun. Obviously, it’s not for everyone but consider…

Ship wars? Who cares.

Not enough fanfiction for your OTP? Fill the void with fanfics of other ships.

Like the way a character interacts with two people and can’t choose which to ship? Both is good

One of your ships doesn’t become canon? That’s okay, this and that one did and they’re all happy.  

Fanart that interferes with one of your current ships? OHMY GOD WHO CARES THAT’S REALLY CUTE I SHIP IT NOW

Life is too short to get angry over fictional characters 💙

schmidtyho  asked:

hey!! im tryna get into the nwhl and i was told you would be a good person to come to just to ask about your fav teams and players just to tell me some basic stuff about them?

If you’re completely new to the league i’d recommend reading THIS & THIS it has basic facts on how to follow the league + links to all the NWHL twitters which you in my opinion must follow to follow the league & they give insight on the players & the teams ! + They’re really cute and have a bunch of interactions.

OK this turned into more of a me talking about some of my faves on every team + some basic info about the teams! And since I have a lot of strong feelings about this league this post is kinda long so I’m putting facts about my fave players on the 4 NWHL teams under the cut!

Keep reading

2

Raúl Esparza drawing Nr. 124: Rafael Barba and Amanda Rollins in tonight’s episode “Know It All”.

I know this is not my best drawing and I was about to abandon it. But then so many people wanted me to continue, including nbcsvu itself, so I pushed through. I guess I’m not happy coz it’s kind of a boring photo, but it’s the only Barba pic we have from Know It All so far.
Maybe you find at least a little joy in it. ❤️ I haven’t drawn Kelli in ages, so it was a nice challenge. 😉

Hope we find out Barba’s secret tonight…
TAYLOR!

Hey babe I am so lucky that you follow me and have liked around 30 of my posts. I will never get over the fact that you know who I am it’s a dream come true! Not everyone is as lucky as me so I want to help them out. If you wouldn’t mind could you please follow these amazing people. They love you so much and are amazing fans! It would make them so happy! Thank you for being so amazing to us and bringing us all together! I love you so much❤
@emilyalexis13 - Emily
@rawrritsraquel - Raquel
@areweootw13 - Jackie
@pittstick - Molly
@40yroldtswiftie - Karen
@bigeyesswift - Arielle
@smilingbeader0720 - Darcy
@fearlessfanofswift13 - Amanda
@shaynalovestswift - Shayna
@thisloveisgood89 - Kalob
@montanaswiftie - Suzi
@wildesttdreamerr - Vanessa
@gonewasanytraceofyou - Jennie
@txswiftie96 - Perla
@whenthebutterfliesturned - Adèlie
@l0st-intranslation - Meg
@93emb - Elizabeth
@lesarg - Leslie
@fearlessswift89 - Chloe
@taylorsburnttoast - Fathma

Thanks so much Taylor :) @taylorswift

Impromptu Feast

For @svu-stories. Because everyone needs a little love and a good meal…

“Don’t be alarmed.”

“Don’t be… do you have any idea what I’ve been going through?”

Word of the shooting flooded through the speakers while you and Derek worked an authors’ luncheon uptown, the literary elite suddenly tuned into the report, undoubtedly wanting to use reality as the jumping off point for a possible bestseller. But you couldn’t wait for their version of events; you needed to hear your husband’s voice, to skip to the final page, the last sentence, to find the happy ending.

“And when I couldn’t get a hold of you, I—”

“I know, mi amor. And for what it’s worth, I am so sorry.”

Part of you longed to leap through the phone and give him a good shake. He had to know that your mind was doing cartwheels that ended in images of him bloodied and broken while chaos reigned above the steep, stone steps. But he was fine. He was talking to you. But where had be been?

“In the thick of it,” he continued. “It’s horrible…”

This wasn’t the first time that he’d been trapped in a courthouse riddled with bullets. In the wake of that melee he assured you that you were never far from his mind, that the thought that you were miles from harm’s way kept him going. And when you finally laid eyes on him again, his vest wrinkled and his sleeves rolled up, you let him hold you because he said that was what the only way for the world to make sense again.

“I’m sorry, too,” you murmured over the phone. “I can hear how scared you still are.”

Whatever was left of your anger ebbed away, and you thought of getting a late start on dinner or taking a ridiculously early stab at breakfast, asking him when he would come home.

“I don’t know.”

“But you are okay, right?” you asked.

“It’s not me. It’s Rollins.”

The blonde detective’s face flashed across your mind’s eye, and you clutched the phone tighter as you sank to the couch. Jingles sidled up for a pet, and you barely stroked her striped fur as the story spilled out.

“A bullet hit her neck. Just missed the jugular. But there… there was still so much blood.”

“Is she in surgery?” you asked, biting down on your lip.

“For the past two hours. The doctors are doing all that they….”

His voice drifted away. Was that Fin in the background? Straining to hear, desperate to know more, you tapped your foot and waited until Rafael’s voice returned to your ear.

“Sorry,” he started. “Just got word that the shooter didn’t make it.”

“Good,” you said.

Mi amor—”

“I know that’s mean. But right now, I don’t care. It could have been you. It…”

Now your voice faded as you jumped up, startling Jingles and causing the kitty cat to race behind the curtains as you reached for your coat.

“Where’s Jesse?” you quickly asked. “I can check in on her or—”

“Carisi’s sister has that covered,” Rafael assured you. “But it’s sweet of you to ask.”

You pictured him waiting in a white room under unforgiving lights with plastic chairs, subsisting on colored water that barely passed for coffee, making the nightmare worse.

“Can I check in on you?” you quietly asked. He forced a laugh to mask what had to be tears and hesitated before he spoke.

“I don’t want you out this late,” he said. “Just stay home. Where you’re safe.”

“Really?” you challenged. His silence lasted long enough for you to cut in with your next thought. “Because I can call a cab and have it waiting right outside. No stops until I reach you. What do you say to that?”

You were already looking for your purse when his sigh stopped you in your tracks.

“I say hurry,” he whispered. “Because I need you right now.”

“I’m on my way.”

The cab ride was quicker than you had envisioned. Which was a good thing. Rafael kept texting you as the driver passed through green lights with no need to switch lanes.

You must be so tired.

Like you’re not? I’m almost there.

I’m counting the seconds.

Just one minute more.

Tipping the driver and taking a brown paper bag in hand, you approached the sliding glass doors, ready to give Amanda’s name at the reception desk and text your husband one more time.

“Hey.”

But then he was right there, his suit rumpled and his eyes bloodshot. You set the parcel aside and gathered him in your arms, grateful to hold him as he buried his head in your hair and fought to keep his sobs in check.

“Don’t do that.”

Pressing two fingers under his chin, you saw his eyes brimming and tenderly kissed his nose as you cradled his face.

“It’s okay to break down with me. That’s what I’m here for.”

“Is that all?” Before you could answer the question, he tightened his embrace, his fingers painting random circles into your back until he broke away and smiled into your eyes.

“For everything that you need,” you promised. “And I am far from empty-handed.”

He cocked his head as you retrieved the bag and granted him a peek inside.

“What is all this?” he asked.

“Brownies. Blondies. Chilled chicken salad. I even have some sourdough rolls and—”

“Did you… you couldn’t have whipped all this up while you waited for the cab.”

As nice as it would have felt to take credit for a miracle, especially now, you shook your head.

“This was for the thing with the musicians tomorrow.”

“Far be it from me to take food from a fiddler’s mouth,” he said.

“That’s adorable. But I called Derek. Told him that he’d have to improvise with his share and whatever’s on sight.”

“You didn’t have to—”

“Yes, I did. Because I want to take care of you. And your friends.”

He started to protest when he simply smiled and wrapped one arm around your shoulders.

“Who am I to say no to a free meal,” he muttered with a soft smile. “Or you.”

Taking the elevator to the hospital’s third floor, his hand firmly clasped in yours, you followed him as the metal doors slid open and saw the other members of the squad shuffling about the waiting room. Olivia conferred with a nurse at the reception desk while Fin huffed that he was going to see what he could find out in the other direction. That left Sonny slumped in one of the chairs, his head in his hands…

…his shirtsleeves stained with droplets of crimson.

Releasing Rafael, you laid your hand on his shoulder with a smile.

“Mrs. Barba,” Sonny started. “What beings you here?”

“Thought you all could use something to eat,” you said, squeezing his arm as your started to unpack the bag. As you set up your impromptu feast on the clear glass coffee table, pushing the outdated magazines aside, you started to make small talk when it seemed the wrong move. What was there to say? What could you do but feed the masses? Olivia greeted you and mumbled that there was no news, and Fin had fared no better at the other end of the hallway. Maybe this was a bad call; who could have an appetite under these circumstances?

“Is that chicken salad?” Sonny finally asked.

“Yes,” you told him. “I figured… I mean you guys probably haven’t had dinner or anything.”

“Not at the top of my list.”

His sharp tone caught you by surprise, and you hoped that you swallowed the shock back when he met your gaze.

“Sorry,” he said. “Don’t listen to me right now.” A tear brimmed in the corner of his eye, and you patted his knee and spoke softly.

“No need to apologize,” you assured him. “But you really should try to eat a little something.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because… because there’s nothing in this world that a decent sandwich can’t fix.”

Did that sound trite? You searched for something else to say when the detective held out his hand and you prepared a plate, smiling as he took two bites.

“Thank you,” he said. “But I really can’t eat any—”

“It’s a start. The food’s not going anywhere.”

Neither were you.

You watched the others pick at the platter, Olivia and Fin thanking you even as they kept getting up, hoping for answers. As the hours clicked by, you found yourself sitting in Rafael’s lap, holding his hand and insisting that he eat just a little bit more.

“I love you for doing this,” he said.

“That the only reason?” you smirked.

“You know there’s so many others.”

You wiped his mouth with a checkered napkin, ready to listen to everything and anything he might say, when a doctor emerged in green scrubs and a smile on her face.

“Are you all here for Ms. Rollins?”

Everyone was on their feet, Rafael included, and you thought that maybe you should excuse yourself for a few seconds when Rafael kept you close.

“She’s stabilized and out of surgery,” the doctor continued. “The next twenty-four hours are crucial. But we have every reason to be optimistic.”

Fin was the first to sigh, and Olivia hugged Sonny as he struggled to speak.

“Can I… is it okay if I see her?” he asked.

“It’ll be another forty minutes or so. But then yes. I think it will do her good.”

Sonny turned around, seeming like his old self for the first time since your stepped off the elevator.

“You hear that!” he said. “It’s all good.”

“I’m so glad,” you said.

“Hey I’m… I’m sorry if I was short with you.”

“No worries. Bet you have more of an appetite now.”

Agreeing with a hug, he finished his sandwich in one swallow and ducked out to phone his sister. Olivia left to check in with Lucy and Fin decided to call the precinct as he picked up a brownie.

“Thanks for all this,” he said. “Barba, you’re a lucky guy.”

Once you were alone with your husband, his face relaxed as his smile brightened.

“What he said,” Rafael started. “Not that I deserve it.”

“I’m holding court right now. And my verdict is that you do.”

Tidying the table, you shot up at the feel of his arms around your waist and leaned into his warm touch, his lips dotting your neck.

“You’re not leaving, right?” he asked as he ran his fingers down your cheek.

“Not without you,” you replied.

“It’s still going to be awhile.”

“Darling, we have all the time in the world.”

Brushing your hands together, you sat with him, curling your legs on the cushions so you could cuddle into his chest. Good news for Amanda. A happy ending in the works. But…

“I’m so glad it wasn’t you,” you said. “Does that make me a horrible person?”

“No,” he said, seemingly without a second thought. “Because I’ve spent the better part of the day thanking God that it wasn’t you.”

“Not a lot of guns in a room full of writers,” you joked.

“Because the pen is mightier, right?”

“So they say.”

He handed you a brownie, insisted that you eat something. When you were done, he kissed you, the taste of his tongue mingling with the chocolate before he pulled away and peered into you eyes.

“And you, mi amor, are the mightiest of all.”

Requested by Anon:  Can you write a cute fluffy Sonny/reader where the reader’s pregnant and goes to visit Sonny at the precinct? The squad’s surprised at the reader’s visit because they didn’t know Sonny was married and expecting a child.

Warnings: Female reader (duh)


In your opinion, Sonny worked too much. 

But you knew it was because he loved his job and although it could be emotionally and physically taxing at time, he loved helping people and putting away their attackers. 

And that was one of the reasons you loved him so much. He had a passion for police work and law and you found it admirable.

But, you never saw him because of his work hours. Okay, never was an overstatement, but he usually was working on some case and he worked late some of those nights. You weren’t upset by it or anything, you knew he would always be there for you and your child when they came along, but you just missed him. 

So you took it upon yourself to one day stop by this coffee shop that you knew he liked and picked up coffee for him and his coworkers and pay him a surprise visit. 

You knew that he didn’t talk a lot about his personal life at work, but you weren’t sure how much the squad knew about you or if they even knew he was married. You wouldn’t be offended if he hadn’t said anything. It wasn’t like you were married after he transferred over, it wasn’t a new occasion and you understood that personal lives don’t neccassarily come up in his place of work.

You got your answer when you entered the precinct, looking very confused and very out of place when you got there. Then you caught sight of Sonny and smiled. “Bambino!” You called, using the nickname you playfully call him every now and then, even though you had no Italian blood in your lineage.

Sonny turned, and for a split second he was confused as to why anybody would even know of that name, let alone be calling him by it at work. Then he saw you walking towards him and grinned. “Doll, what are ya doin’ here?” He asked, though he wasn’t upset, more excited to see you.

“I thought I’d give you a visit and maybe meet some of your coworkers? I brought coffee.” You smiled widely, causing him to chuckle softly

“Well then let’s go to the squadroom and see who’s there.” He said, taking you by the arm in the gentle way he usually did out in public.

“Carisi, who’s this?” The question came from a blonde woman, who looked up from her desk curiously. That prompted everyone else in the room to look up from their desks and papers and stare at you. 

“Hey, this is my very pregnant wife, and she decided to bring us all coffee today, surprisingly.” Sonny said. He sounded almost proud to show you off to his friends, even though you were eight months pregnant and the size of a Mini Cooper.

“Carisi, since when are you married?” Someone asked from his desk across the room. 

“And expecting a child?” Another woman asked as she stood in the doorway of a separate room.

You took it upon yourself to pass out coffee after saying your name so that they at least knew what to call you. “Now, Sonny. Are you going to tell me who all these people are?” You said playfully, causing a few low chuckles.

Sonny blushed slightly. “Right, sorry.” He introduced you to Amanda, Fin, Olivia, Mike, and Nick. “And then you’ve met Barba.” You nodded slightly.

“So, um, Carisi, you’re married?” Amanda, the one who first looked up at you, asked him.

“We were married before he transferred here. I guess he doesn’t talk about me much, then.” You teased.

“Not at all. “ Fin said with a monotone voice but he was smiling. “Carisi, how’d you keep her hidden away so long? This coffee is great, too.” 

Sonny, unsurprisingly, had just gotten slightly redder but he looked so happy and proud that he had you in his life. The questions went on for a while and you got to relax a little and have a conversation with the squad, who seemed to like you. Hell, you’d like you if you brought coffee as a first impression.

When the small gathering ended and you had to go in for a doctor’s appointment, you bid goodbye to everybody and Sonny walked you back down to the car.

He kissed you outside of the car and grinned. “You’re truly the greatest.” He murmured.

You just smiled. “Did they like me?”You ask.

Sonny scoffed slightly. “Of course they did.” He pecked your lips softly. “I don’t know who wouldn’t.”

Happy Galentines Day

Originally posted by totallyshady-book-expert

I used to be a huge parks and rec fan, don’t judge me. I don’t have many irl friends to celebrate this wonderful day with, but I do have some pretty fucking amazing online friends who I want to shine some light on. I appologize if at any point I get sappy during this. I’m a little sleep deprived. (I really did get a bit long winded so everything is under the cut)

Keep reading

thank you ♡

Today marks two and a half years since I first stumbled into this wonderful fandom - between 2x05 The Hen in the Wolf House and 2x06 A Fractured House, in late October 2014. I missed out on my two year anniversary last year because I wasn’t very active then, so this is a post to make up for that. I love our fandom so much, and wanted to thank everyone, even those who aren’t still around, for the experience.

But here is a special thank you, to some very special people:

@melliecoulson : emma, you’ve been here with me since day one, and i couldn’t have asked for a better beta, writing partner, someone i call a friend.
@ddagent : kelly, you are most talented writer i know, and i’m so lucky to have you in my life. 
@non-stopjess : jess, i love you, i have loved beta-ing for you. you are so sweet and so kind
@suallenparker : su, thank you for always being welcoming, and running the fandom’s main blog like a champ!
@philinda : liz, you are amazing at everything you do, and everything i aspire to be
@nessnessquik : ness, you write the fluffiest fics, and always support me when i’m down. i’ll always be here for you too. 
@sunshine-and-the-catsuit : sunshine, i still think fate paired us together in that secret santa way back in december and i’m so happy to have met you
@arthurconan-doyle : blessy, the most amazing artist i know 

to the awesome people who i don’t get to talk to much, but are still always there:
@righteousnerd @sarahastro84 @kitlee625 @hanorganaas @crazymaryt @lola381pce @14hpgirl19 @mclinda-may 

to the writers i’ve always admired:

@valanthaliadon @katalizi @b00k-freak

to the amazing creators of art:

@aelliots @badassblackwidowcavalry @isabelle-le-fanult @loudestdork 

to the awesome peeps in the philinda chatroom:
i know it’s only been two months since we started talking, but i love you all! i also don’t have all your urls saved so if you’re not listed i still love you :)

@anarchycox (amanda, the awesome writer) @timmac-andtheattack (jette, the cutest accent) @qiaolianmelindamay (sophie, the amazing vidmaker) @acciopeggy (yasmin, the always supportive) @philindaisreal (bettina, the always positive)

@agentsphilinda : stef, thank you for creating the chatroom, and teaching me how to gif. you’re an amazing friend.
@fyeah-philinda : laura, i feel like we know each other so well even though we barely know each other. here’s to many more nights of chatting!
@marcuskaen : melanie, you talented sun of a gun. thank you for all you have taught me and all you have shared 
@tonksiefea : macks, someday i’m going to see you on the silver screen and i’ll be able to say, hey, i knew that girl way back when. i know you’ll go far
@studiocapsicum : clairebear, my fellow aussie. you’re a pain in my ass and i love you for it. 

to two superstars:
@carolineaquino73 and @the-eh-team

and to everyone out there:

i don’t know all of your names and i haven’t spoken to a lot of you before but i’d love to get to know you all :) to every person who has kudos/commented on my fics on ao3, to those who have reblogged my work on tumblr, to the philinda fandom, i give my thanks. 

flamingbluepanda  asked:

Okay so I have for a long time had a headcanon that Amanda Grayson is a legitimate badass. Like, she has floral tattoos all up and down her back and shoulders, she used to ride motorcycles and had a bunch of guys for friends. Her father was abusive and her mother had three other daughters and two sons, so she joined a gang and became able to hold her own in a fight and then win fights and she knows how to use weapons and cusses like a sailor- and I fully believe she was in starfleet. I think(1/?

(cont)  She joined Starfleet and joined the linguistics department and those boys from her gang love her (their not like a bad gang their just sort of a group of friends who skipped school and were super protective of one another) and are so proud of her when she goes on a starship for two years. 

Then she gets into a fight with her crew member and gets resigned to teaching at starfleet because she’s good at languages. She doesn’t care, says “fuck space” and becomes the BEST teacher. And then,  One day, Starfleet asks her to act as a translator for a Vulcan ambassador who has to meet with a Deltan, and she’s like one of the best Deltan speakers. So she goes and acts as a mediator for the Deltan and some guy named… Sarek? She thinks he’s cute, but kinda stuck-upish. 

Later that evening she goes out with her friends and walks home alone- she gets grabbed and dragged into an alley. A voice calls him to let the woman go. The momentary confusion of the man gives her the chance and she knees the man in the balls and punches him and then whirls around to see… Sarek. He was the one who asked the man to let her go. He insists on walking her home despite the fact that she can “handle myself!" 

And Sarek doesn’t understand why he likes this human so much but she’s so  so pretty and he gets this lil green blush. When they get to her house, she turns and says in perfect Vulcan  "So, is this gonna be like a an old romcom and we’re gonna fall in love now?" 

And she’s mostly joking but Sarek says "I do not understand what a romcom is but I believe I may already be "falling in love with you” as the Terran phrase goes" and Amanda is so flattered and he’s so cute that she laughs and that laugh is what does it, it’s beautiful and they date for maybe a few months before marriage comes up for the first time.

Amanda jumps in. She loves Sarek. All her boys from her gang  are there and they all cry like big babies and she goes to Vulcan- and she’s hated. Everyone hates her and she doesn’t care- but the first time some lady calls Sarek a traitor Amanda screeches “I’m gonna rip your ears off!” And tackles her and Sarek has to bail his wife out of jail later but he doesn’t say a thing, he doesn’t call her illogical because Amanda is passionate and to her, this is logical. 

To her, defending him is logical. They’re perfect together- oh sure they fight sometimes  But they’re so CUTE. And then Amanda gets pregnant and for the first time she is terrified. She’s terrified for herself, for her baby, for Sarek- especially when the word gets out of the baby and someone throws a rock through her window. 

Spock is born and Amanda falls hard for her baby. The birth takes a lot out of her, but she is legit mom number one she never stops going and Spock is a sickly child but she believes with all her heart that Spock can do ANYTHING. She tells him that, makes sure her child can be anything he wants. She teaches him how to fight, sings him old rock songs and plays him music by people like MCR, AC/DC, Twenty One Pilots, Aerosmith- classic music. She teaches Spock how to use a gun when he’s like 8 (to Sarek’s horror) and Sarek- Sarek lets his wife raise their son the way she can because he knows this is good. 

He knows Spock will prosper with her. And when Amanda dies…  When Amanda dies Sarek is heartbroken because all that, everything she survived and she dies because of someone she couldn’t fight. When Spock meets Nero, he grabs him by the collar and right there with Jim watching he clenches his fist and snarls “bitch-! this is for my fucking mother!” Before he socks him in the face in a way Amanda would be proud of.  And if somehow (fingers crossed) Amanda comes back, she says “death can’t get me!” And  Sarek and Spock are ECSTATIC. 

They can’t breathe they’re so happy to have her back and she adopts the enterprise crew she’s just like THEY ARE ALL MY CHILDREN NOW and when Bones and Jim say they want to date Spock she says “if you hurt my son Im gonna kill you” and gives her blessing and welcomes them into her family. And just- GIVE ME BADASS AMANDA GRAYSON OR GIVE ME DEATH 

@flamingbluepanda is having emotions in my inbox again, holy shit.