not rlly

bad days: a drabble

evan hansen x depressed!girlfriend

i love using that exclamation point bc depressed! just cracks me up anyways y'all my depression is hitting me with some major intensity today so i hope this utter FLUFF will comfort u as much as it’s comforting me 2 write bc i have been majorly Sad lately ((i promise a high school sweethearts fic update soon i just had to get this one out of my head and down into real words ily))
also: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT LIL DRABBLE AND GOT SO LONG IMS CREAMING WHY CANT I WRITE ANYTHING CUTE AND SHORT OH MY GOD 

summary: ur having a bad day i love u 
warnings: depression!!!!!!!!!!! sickening fluff!!!!!!! being cold!!!!!!!!! my terrible writing!!!!!!!! shower time !!!! too many fucking commas ahhhh!!!!!!!
word count: 4K I LITERALLY H8 MYSELF


You couldn’t get up.

Well, it’s not that you couldn’t get up. Maybe it’s just that you didn’t want to?

That wasn’t right, either. You wanted to be up and to have showered and to be maybe wearing pants and to look pretty and to feel good and to maybe be holding hands with your boyfriend in the sunshine in a park somewhere.

Instead, you were here. In bed. Hiding beneath your blankets from the sunlight that managed to slip between your curtained windows.

Depressed.

Keep reading

my therapist asked me

Whats missing from your life?

I thought about this question for a long time after you asked me. And after days of racking my brain I still had not come up with an answer, that is until I was standing in line at Dunkin Donuts this morning waiting to order my coffee as I do nearly every morning. When there was an elderly couple in front of me, they were laughing with each other, and it made me smile. There I was being pessimistic because it was 7 in the morning and I was so overly tired and in a bad mood. But they were standing there as though there was no where in the world they would rather be. And I thought to myself I wonder what its been like, sharing a cup of coffee with the same person for that many years. And that’s when it dawned on me. I knew what was missing.
Love.
Seems like a pretty simple answer, huh? But I don’t necessarily mean love in the way youre probably thinking about it. I mean it in the simpliest of ways, in the “drive safely”, “text me when you make it home”, the “I hope youre doing okay”, or “have a good day”. I mean it in the sense of friendship, companionship, dependency, empathy, and affection. I mean love in every sense of the form. I mean It in the having someone to turn to on your darkets of days, or someone to share the brightest of ones with. I mean it in the singing in the passenger seat of your car kinda love, or the eat frozen yogurt and cry on your bad days.
But most importantly, the form of love I am missing, is self love. Many times I am so concerned with being there for others or trying to help everyone around me, bringing them up, that I forget about me too. i think that’s why i keep looking for people. because i’m looking for that love that’s missing from my life in someone else. and i keep being let down because no one is going to love me the way that i should love me. I wanna be so content within myself that I don’t look for these things in someone else anymore. I wanna sing in the car by myself, I wanna buy the elderly couples coffees and I wanna be okay knowing im going to drink mine by myself.

there’s something really cute, innocent, and unexpected about keith liking hippos. like there’s no deep reason about it or whatever like with his knife and the hidden meaning or the shack. he just likes hippos. thinks they’re cool. probably read a book or two about hippos when he was younger and he’s just like… “yeah, hippos are badass.”