not really a mate

anonymous asked:

please tell me more about crows. they are very interesting creatures

AH YES OKAY.

Crows are one of my favorite birds, ravens even more so. I just really like both of them. But crows, alright. Crows.

  • Crows will often mate and stay with their mate for most of their lives, separating at death. 
  • They’ll pick up sticks and rocks and drop them on predators, like “haha screw you”
  • Crows are very emotional and do, in fact, display these emotions. Like you can tell if they’re angry, happy, sad, confused, etc
  • They have an excellent memory. You know all those stories we see about crows delivering presents to people who are nice to them and visiting after migrations? They remember who is nice to them and pay them back. (I hope to be friends with a flock of crows someday.) 
  • On that note, they also remember who is mean to them, and they tell their crow families, so whatever you do do not be mean to a crow. It will come back to bite you. Maybe literally. At the very least it’ll scream when it sees you.
  • They can live for up to fourteen years in the wild. 
  • They use tools. 
  • They can solve puzzles and understand the concept of water displacement, meaning they can think in creative and abstract ways.
    • Unrelated, did you know that hummingbirds know what flowers they’ve already been to? Back to crows.
  • Oh, not only will they remember you and tell their flock, they will tell their children, and their children will tell their children, and their children will tell their children, and you get the point. 
    • In other words, they have a very complex language. They have to be able to describe you to other crows. It isn’t just screeching - it’s language.
  • If you kill a crow, the entire flock will change its migration pattern to avoid you. 
  • They steal food from each other. As a result, crows will pretend to hide their food in one place in the presence of another crow but later hide it somewhere else.
  • Sometimes they drop walnuts in front of moving cars so that they tires will crush the nut for them. They’ll memorize traffic patterns and everything.

Real quick some raven facts:

  • Ravens will, if they come across an animal (a dead one, they’re scavengers) that is too large for them to break down, mimic the sound of a wolf pack. This will bring wolves, who will tear apart most of the animal, leaving ravens with what they want - the leftovers. 
  • They can speak. :”Quoth the raven, Nevermore” is not just Poe personifying the bird. 
  • Like crows, they will remember you.
  • They have (I believe I read this somewhere) the largest brain to body ratio of any bird.
  • I have to get ready for work but let’s just finish this by saying corvids are very intelligent, amazing birds. 

All The Better To See You With

by A_Lesbian_With_Pink_Hair (AO3)

Pairing: Derek Hale x Stiles Stilinski

Oneshot

Word count: 3.5k

Rating: General Audiences

Summary: In which Derek has to deal with the fact that his mate is a blind teenager, and learns to really see Stiles instead of just looking at him. There’s more to a person than what they can’t do.

Read Here!

-> Follow me for more fic recs!

Book Review: “Rider at the Gate,” by C.J. Cherryh

So I would like to give a shout-out to one of my favorite books, Rider at the Gate by C.J. Cherryh, and its sequel, Cloud’s Rider. I’ve never met anyone else who has read this series, which is a shame because it is awesome. 

Okay. So lots of books have telepathic animals that can communicate with humans, right? Friendly, happy, affectionate animals. Rider at the Gate takes the idea of telepathy and imagines an entire planetary ecosystem based around it. So different animal species use telepathy for various things, with varying degrees of sophistication: to attract mates, to make themselves look bigger than they really are, or to make you think they’re not there so you won’t eat them or so they can eat you. This is brilliant, and I’ve never seen any other books with this premise - and if there are, I need to read them ASAP. 

Needless to say, when human colonists show up on this planet full of telepathic animals projecting images into their minds so they can scare/confuse/eat them, they are toast. 

Happily for humanity, though, one of the apex predator species - nighthorses - are curious enough to investigate, and decide they like how human minds “feel” enough to bond with individual humans and keep the other telepathic animals away. So humanity can actually colonize the planet, as long as they have “riders” ringing their towns, protecting their poor defenseless livestock, and guarding their convoys between towns. Most unbonded humans are really freaked out by telepathy, and their attitudes towards riders range from grudging respect to the more fundamentalist “riders are devilspawn, stay away” (which amounts to an entire religion, actually). 

Add this to the fact that the planet is basically Alaska - short but intense growing season; long severe winters; lots of forests and mining resources - and electricity and tech are either unreliable or summon giant telepathic man-eating bears, and you’ve got yourself one hell of a setting. Basically, everything on this planet is trying to kill humanity, life is a grim frontier setting, and despite some good people trying to do the right things (particularly in book two) it’s hella dark. Frankly, I read this book as a masterpiece of world building, because most of the details are subtle and in the background rather than explained all at once in a big prologue. 

The nighthorses have their own personalities and agendas, that don’t always coincide with the human ones. You can ride them, but they get tired easily, so mostly you walk, and they don’t plan/think in the future super-well without a human mind to steady them. Also, they look kinda like horses, but they’re predators - they kill fish and small mammals easily, and they love bacon.  We all love the idea of bonding with an intelligent nonhuman animal, but we always expect it to be like the Companions in the Valdemar books (who are actually reincarnated people in horse bodies, not actual horses). This is what it actually would be like: occasionally awesome and convenient, but sometimes so damn frustrating.

Also, Cherryh writes telepathy really well. It’s confusing until you get used to it - it took me several read-throughs to really process how everything fits together, like an intricate puzzle-box. Part of the problem is that telepathy lends itself to rumor-mongering like you wouldn’t believe, and so it’s challening at first to figure out what’s actually happening versus what characters are imagining or are afraid of happening. I’ve never seen any other writer use that mix of images and words for telepathy, or set up her sentences so that she can write a descriptive sentence and the reader knows exactly what’s meant to be telepathic images and what’s not. 

Another thing I love about this book is that there are no real villains. I can’t really say much more without HUGE SPOILERS and y'all should just go and read these books for yourselves, but there’s no one in these books who I would consider to be evil in the usual literary dualistic sense. Stupid, selfish, short-sighted, confused, lying to save their skins, deluded, worried about what other people think, etc, etc, but never evil in the sense of Voldemort or Sauron. It’s a very realistic-feeling human kind of evil, the sort you can identify with on some level.

Terrible things happen, but even the primary antagonist (who is probably an undiagnosed sociopath and/or affected by their parents’ abuse, and definitely kills a lot of people in horrific ways because they’re mad about petty things) believes themselves to be a good person and that life just isn’t treating them fairly. For them, it’s an opportunity to enact their childish fantasies of power and privilege, and it’s a game without real consequences. What they really want is so relatable on some level that it’s hard (for me, anyway) to unequivocally hate them, even though the means they choose to enact those desires are awful. Ironically, this very refusal to believe that this person is problematic - because they look so harmless and they don’t match the other characters’ idea of evil - ends up causing the bulk of the problems in the two books, even after they should know better. 

It’s rare for me to find any genre fiction that is this psychologically, physically and ecologically real, or any “realistic” fiction with such an interesting premise and characters. I wish Cherryh had written more books in this universe, but I’m happy that this pair exists.

anonymous asked:

I have almost the same prblm as the last person. I’m friends w benefits w this amazing guy. We’re also really close like soul mates or whatever. The problem is he has a girlfriend who he got w before we met. And she loves him and he loves her. But he also loves me. And he doesn’t know how to pick and I feel like I make him cheat it makes me feel guilty. Idk what to do about the whole thing. Give me options please

Tbh, I think you should end it with him. He is a cheater. Do you really want to be with someone that cheats ? You love him but you don’t know what he wants. He can’t play this game for too long. If she finds out it won’t be a happy end.

Soulmate AU Story Ideas

Because I am complete trash for Soulmate AUs, I decided to try and make a post about them. Hope you guys like it! ♥

✖ Soulmate AUs involving measurement

[ Time // Countdown ]

  • Where for whatever reason, your clock is stuck/frozen/it’s not counting down anymore but it hasn’t reached 00:00:00:00 yet and you’re freaking out because this hasn’t happened to anyone before.
  • Reverse one where the clock starts at 00:00:00:00 from the moment you’re born and stops counting the moment you meet your soulmate, so it’s like a reminder that “It took me 19 years, 11 months, 20 hours, and 13 seconds to meet you, you fuck, and you do it by spilling coffee on me, thanks, now my laptop’s broken—what, you’re buying me a new one? Okay.”
  • Your soulmate clock is actually a countdown of how long your soulmate has left to live and holy shit you have to find your soulmate soon because your clock says you have three months left (for angst maybe).
  • Alternate version of above where your clock is a countdown of how long you and your soulmate have left to find each other or else you both will die because the universe is sadistic af—and if you find your soulmate you get to live longer.
  • Another alternate version of above where you and your soulmate’s clocks have each other’s life spans on it but you can give your time to your soulmate if you want to so they can live longer. Again, because the universe is sadistic af.
  • The soulmate clock is actually something breakable and you accidentally break yours or vice versa.
  • Alternate version of above where someone purposely breaks their soulmate clock so they can be with someone they fell in love with that isn’t their soulmate/they are strongly opposed to the whole soulmate idea and want to defy the system.
  • Your clock is counting down too fast (as opposed to everyone else’s) and you have no idea what’s going on anymore.
  • It’s been a busy week and after finally having some time to yourself, you just happened to look at your soulmate clock and see that it’s already at 00:00:00:00 and you don’t know when that happened because you don’t religiously check your clock either.
  • Your soulmate clock is actually telling you what time it is where your soulmate is currently at (could include AM/PM/time zones or not, for example 3:46:31 MDT).
  • I already wrote something similar to this but a countdown au where your soulmate has died and you two still happen to meet each other (one is a ghost, one is alive) and the other finds peace after the meeting.

[ Distance ]

  • Where you actually have a compass instead of a clock, and it leads you to where your soulmate should be.

✖ Soulmate AUs involving colors

[ Eyes ]

  • Reverse colors AU where you can see in color but once you meet/marry your soulmate your world turns black and white, this is how people can tell that married couples really love each other because they’re willing to give up a world of colors for their soulmate. If your soulmate dies you get to see color again.
  • Between you and your soulmate, only one of you can see other colors and the other sees black and white. Like you can see all the other colors except black/white/grays, and the other one can only see in black/white/grays. If you two meet, you’ll get to see all the colors.
  • You can see colors but realize that recently, with each passing day, your world of colors is becoming a little duller and you’re panicking because you don’t know what’s going on, or what it means, or if your soulmate is okay.
  • You can see colors and your world turns black and white but it doesn’t necessarily have to mean your soulmate is dead. There can be other factors that will result in a black and white world like losing eyesight, but you don’t know that.
  • You will be able to see the world in full color once you meet your soulmate but until then, you can only see the world in the eye color of your soulmate. However, you can alter the color your soulmate can see, for example, by wearing contact lenses. Like if you wear blue contact lenses, your soulmate sees the world in blue, purple makes them see the world in purple and etc. And you realize each day/week you get to see the world in a different color because your soulmate is being all cute and would want you to see every color there is and they probably have a huge collection of contact lenses by the time you both meet.
  • Everyone is born color blind and their sights are fixed once they meet their soulmate, or your soulmate is blind and you have the choice to give them your sight, but it’s irreversible and if they die, they take your sight with them.

[ Hair ]

  • If you dye your hair, your soulmate’s hair color changes as well and you swear the moment you see your soulmate you will choke them because you just woke up with your hair colored like a rainbow and it’s your first job interview at a prestigious company what the fuck. Oh, and your best friend just took a picture to post online and wait—what, how many likes is that?
  • Like the above AU but you only get highlights for the dyed color of your soulmate’s hair. If your hair color returns to normal, it means your soulmate has returned to their natural hair color too.
  • Related to the first two AUs—you decide to get revenge on your soulmate by dying your hair the most absurd color combination you can think of and the exchange goes back and forth until you meet each other. It can be that if you meet, you two can dye your hair without affecting the other anymore.
  • If your soulmate dyes their hair your fingernails turn into that color (like nail polish?) and you’re hoping your soulmate isn’t bald by the time you meet because it’s the fifth time the past two months that your nails have changed colors.
  • If your soulmate dyes their hair, your eyes turn into that color and you wish your soulmate wouldn’t change it again because you really like this shade in your eyes.

✖ Soulmate AUs involving any kind of body mark

[ Tattoos ]

  • You and your soulmate have identical tattoos on your wrist about the date when you’ll meet each other. Place and time can be included (as opposed to the countdown AUs).
  • Like the countdown AU, an alternate version where it’s your soulmate’s date of death that’s tattooed on your skin.
  • Where a tattoo isn’t set from the moment you’re born and whatever tattoos your soulmate gets, you get it too and it’s all cool because you kind of like the designs, except you also feel the pain of getting a tattoo and that sucks because you’re kind of in the middle of an exam right now and it’s getting harder to concentrate on your work.
  • You remove your tattoo because you hate the idea of someone dictating who you can be with for the rest of your life and the person who’s removing it happens to be your soulmate and they’re torn between letting you know and just not bringing it up because you kind of went there because you didn’t want a soulmate and vice versa.
  • Your tattoo is only half complete and it completes itself the moment you find your soulmate, like if you had half a heart, you’d get a full heart on your skin.
  • You’re not sure if the other half of your tattoo should end with this person’s words, or that one’s—wait, I think it might end with the phrase of that other person too. It’s just a very open-ended sentence…
  • You don’t have a name tattoo on your wrist, meaning you probably don’t have a soulmate but you didn’t want your friends to tease you about it so you had a tattoo made on your wrist about some name you picked at random because your friend said she wanted to see it soon. And then somehow there’s a person claiming to be your soulmate and they’re kind of cute and sweet so you don’t know what to do.
  • Because the universe is sadistic af, it only gave you the first letter of your soulmate’s name.
  • Your tattoo is like a mood ring, it changes its color depending on what your soulmate is feeling at the moment and you’re not sure exactly what rainbow means.

[ Scars ]

  • The only way for your scars to disappear is when your soulmate kisses them goodbye.

[ Others ]

  • Whatever mark you get on your skin your soulmate gets it too so one day, you just kind of just get a sharpie and start writing on your skin. You definitely didn’t expect to get a reply, but you did. Now it’s five in the morning and you’re just about covered in ink and this will be a pain to wash off later.
  • Imagine the above point but like, your soulmate maybe falls off a bike and you write on your arm what happened, and your soulmate replies to reassure you everything’s okay. Yes, you always carry a non-permanent marker to write on your skin at all times.
  • You accidentally fell down the stairs and broke a leg, oh, and fate must love you because it seems your soulmate also broke the other leg (or something else) and whatever happens to the other, you feel it too (no actual injury but you feel the same amount of pain) so now you’re in the hospital and you happen to meet your soulmate in the waiting area.
  • Wait, imagine the above point but way into the future and you’re about to give birth and your soulmate must be cursing you and rolling on the floor by the operating table or the waiting area screaming murder and punching walls while crying. Also periods, yes periods. Okay, I’ll shut up now.
  • You can choose to take the pain of your soulmate away. Like if they’re sick or even if they just have a paper cut, you can choose to transfer the pain/sickness to yourself instead and they’ll heal. You can only do it once you meet them though, since what happens to them doesn’t happen to you, unless you transfer it to yourself.
  • Like above but what if the pain becomes two times or more worse. Imagine someone afraid of pain, and the other soulmate shouldering everything or maybe you can half the pain your soulmate feels if you can’t handle taking everything on your own.
  • Alternate version of above two points where you can also transfer your pain to your soulmate. Imagine the payback you can do.

✖ Soulmate AUs involving reincarnation

  • There wasn’t a soulmate system in place before, now it’s about a thousand and more years later, and—wait, aren’t you the person that killed me in that back alley?
  • Where you’re reborn with the memories of your soulmate and you can only get your past memories if you meet each other again in this lifetime.
  • You somehow find a diary/journal of your old self and read through the contents of how you met your soulmate centuries ago.
  • Your soulmate was an artist of centuries ago, and currently, you’re an art student at university (or not but you’re taking an arts class). Then one day for a field trip, you go to a far-away museum and you just find yourself staring at what was your reflection, wearing different clothes to fit the timeline but it was definitely a split-image of you, on one of the framed displays.
  • Alternate version of the above where your soulmate still was an artist of centuries ago but you were there too, and you both were able to meet again in this lifetime. You don’t remember anything but you’d be at the museum, looking at the picture that looks like you with curiosity until your soulmate (who remembers everything) comes by and asks you what you think of the painting.
  • You’re sent to an insane asylum because everyone is convinced you’ve lost your hold on reality since you’re the only one that remembers everything from your past life. Also, that new doctor is your soulmate.
  • Your soulmate from the past life is not your soulmate in this life.
  • You become a writer and your series of novels become extremely popular, but what they don’t know is that you’re retelling your previous life where certain circumstances made it so you and your soulmate did not end up together but your soulmate promises to be with you the next lifetime. At a book signing you open the book cover of a fan’s copy to see something written on the front page: “I’m sorry I took so long.”
  • You don’t remember anything from your previous life but your soulmate does—your first meeting under the tree with the broken swing in summer, the way you smiled when you met each other again at the start of the school year, your eyes that were filled with such mirth and depth and beauty, even the way your hands fit together like missing piece of a puzzle—everything, even the gasps for air, the coarse little pleas, the way you stared with a look of betrayal until your bright eyes became nothing but a dull sheet of color at the hands encasing your neck in a vice grip.
  • You keep going to this place, and you always notice another person here too. Neither of you know that this is the place where the both of you had died/first met in the past life.

✖ Soulmate AUs involving dreams

  • Kind of a reincarnation AU where you’re losing the distinction between reality and dreams because when you’re asleep, you actually relive your past life, and you’re not sure if you’d much rather stay in the past or in the present anymore.
  • If you’re on separate time zones, when you sleep, you see the world in the eyes of your soulmate at present time. You see the world through your soulmate’s eyes, what they’re eating, who they’re talking to, the contents of the essay paper they’re trying to finish, but if they look into a mirror/reflective surface/picture, the image is blurred so you don’t really have a clue what they look like.
  • You see your soulmate in the eyes of their friend instead.
  • Imagine that soulmates just have this ability to dream together/meet each other in your dreams regardless of whether or not you two meet in real life. Your dreams could then be like a real-life video game, for example, you two could be in a zombie-apocalypse type of dream and you both would try your best to help each other out. If one gets bitten/dies you wake up and your soulmate is there to tell you everything is alright or tease you how you couldn’t shoot fast enough and then you’d both go back to sleep and maybe start round two.
  • Just like the above point, imagine how you and your soulmate could pretty much be with each other even after you’d both gone to your separate homes/shared bed.
  • Your soulmate is dead and the only way you two can see each other again is in your dreams and everyday your soulmate tries to make sure you know they love you and will always be there for you the moment you close your eyes and retire for the night.

✖ Other Soulmate AUs

  • You and your soulmate can communicate with thoughts and your soulmate happens to be a math major and you really need help with this test right now.
  • On some days, whatever your soulmate thinks of is something you can hear in your mind and your soulmate is currently reading really hardcore smut fics and you’re trying so hard not to mess up this class presentation which shoulders half your mark for the semester.
  • You get to share the same talents as your soulmate and you probably hit the jackpot because it’s the first time you’ve ever touched this instrument but you’re quite the professional at it, what? Shredding? I don’t know what that is but—oh… hey okay, I just did it I think.
  • The Red String of Fate exists, and only some people have the ability to see the strings, and these people can actually cut strings and knot other people’s strings in to alter the soulmate laws. Your best friend’s wedding is tomorrow and they know you can see the string. They ask you to help them defy the laws of the universe and help them be with the person they love even though they know that’s not their soulmate. You know they love each other so much so you help them, even though the person your best friend’s marrying/your best friend is your soulmate.
  • How about like the colors AU except it can be your voice or your hearing instead that comes and goes when your soulmate dies. Imagine how your soulmate’s voice is the first and the last thing you’ll ever hear.


So I decided to just make a post of all the ideas I’ve thought of so far for each theme! I tried to think of things I haven’t read before but I’m pretty sure with tons of people out there, some of these are sure to exist already. I was also planning to write more but maybe next time, my heart hurts already from typing these ;////;)’

I hope you guys like it though and please feel free to add on to this or make these into stories please I’ll love you forever and tag me please I’d love to read them.

++ justfandomwritings is queen of Soulmate AUs, and I’d like to dedicate this to her because she’s amazing and so much more ♥ ^^

gee edge, how come you get two sanses?

a tiny tribute to a fic i really like: karmic retribution by @mercy-run. kustard, kedgeup, and fellcest all rolled up into one holy triad. it’s so good.

i tried to draw them in their new royalty clothes according to how mercy-run described them, but i don’t know how well i captured that…_(:3」∠)_

So… the cropping of the manga panel made this part ambiguous, but it turns out the anime didn’t - Akaashi was absolutely sprinting into Bokuto’s open arms despite being THAT close already, so if you needed 100% canon proof that they hugged, this is it.

The full shot.

Honestly,

shout out to @losersclubbb because this is something they made me think of. This is very long and I’m not the least bit fucking sorry!

Okay, but IMAGINE if “It” was a TV show, or a Netflix/Hulu/SOMETHING series. Like “Stranger Things”, each episode is about an hour, and it’s a sci-fi crime show. It shows how the kids all meet up, and there’s more time to develop their characters and reveal their back stories and get things made more accurately. The whole series is just in depth on their lives, and a little less outright horror and more head-scratching mystery. 

Like they all decide the Loser’s Club is a crime solving group, dedicated to finding the missing kids and taking care of each other. Like every few episodes there’s a filler where you just find out more about the target character of that episode while they’re out doing normal kid things, and to reign it back to remind you it’s technically suspense/crime, at the end of the filler episodes they’re brought back to reality by a Pennywise sighting, or a red balloon. 

When I say backgrounds I mean backgrounds- on everyone! The Bower’s Gang is NOT exempt because they deserve to be recognized wholly as King made them to be. Their parents will be included too so we can see how they were raised! Know who else isn’t exempt? PENNYWISE AND HIS FUCKING UNIVERSE PIE HOLE. The kids will unravel much more about him in the show than in the movie, including his backstory and how he came to be. And including that nightmare fest in his face. 

Speaking of, they find out mid-series that he’s NOT human, that these crimes are being committed by another entity entirely. They had no idea at first, thinking this mad man was just appearing dressed as a clown or leaving balloons. Once they know more about who they’re dealing with, he decides to let them know about what he knows- turning into their worst fears and taunting them. He taunts them for their most canon fears in the book, Richie and clowns and werewolves, Eddie and disease and his sexuality, (which, by the by, he’s GAY), Beverly and adulthood and her father, etc, etc, etc.! 

It shows them most detailed in kicking his ass in the sewers as a final show down kinda thing, taking up at least a full episode, preferably two, that way the final showdown with the kids is like its own movie. Any time they interact with him, it should have at least a few moments from Penny’s POV, chasing the kids, getting into their heads, seeing exactly the thoughts that give them their fears. (Also since this is really me and I’m biased, I want Eddie to be crushing on Richie, and Richie crushing back, but they don’t date because that’s not super accurate by any means, but the tension and the love is THERE)(And Pennywise is an asshole and uses that to his advantage of FUCKING COURSE)

ANYWAYS YEAH. They have the season finale two-episode special on kicking his ass and the blood oath. Then when the season comes back as adults, it’s all over again- just as much detail into their adult lives, what they’ve been up to, what they’ve missed. Falling back into familiar friendships, relearning the town and Pennywise and each other. I fully support the idea of Reddie becoming an unspoken thing as it’s canon they kinda do and Eddie is very unhappily married. They basically just have touching scenes and yes some filler episodes but not as many and they aren’t as light hearted, more to get the drama of their personal lives and “normal” lives outside of this fleshed out. 

Stan does die before the reunion, and they take a whole episode for him and his story, showing flashbacks of his life as he would think back on them after getting that call, all of his important moments and achievements captured because he is such a beloved and valuable part of the Loser’s Club even if he isn’t in the story as long. They do show him die, and the trauma of it, because his death should not be understated or glossed over. They take another whole chunk of the reunion episode itself for the Losers themselves to reminisce on him and how much they adored him and how much they’ll miss him, going over his proudest moments, and his silliest. 

Eddie does die in the sewer showdown part 2, in Richie’s arms as in the book, but HE FINISHES HIS FUCKING LAST WORDS AND GUESS WHAT HE’S CONFESSING HE’S BEEN IN LOVE WITH RICHIE THIS WHOLE TIME, AND RICHIE SAYS THAT’S WHY HE NEVER GOT MARRIED, THAT HE MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN LIKE THEY ALL DID, BUT THAT HIS SOUL DID NOT AND IT WAS WAITING FOR HIM. THEY ALSO DO NOT LEAVE HIM IN THE FUCKING SEWER. 

THEY BEAT THAT HONKY SIX PIECE CHICKEN MCNOBODY BALDY MONSTER, THEY GET OUT, THEY HAVE A FUNERAL FOR EDDIE, AND RICHIE GETS THEM MATCHING PROMISE RINGS AND BURIES ONE WITH EDDIE AND WEARS THE OTHER ONE AND VISITS HIM EVERY GODDAMN YEAR. THE LOSERS ALL STAY FRIENDS AND THE SERIES ENDS ON 2 FILLER EPISODES, EACH DEDICATED TO THE REMAINING KIDS MAKING THEIR LIVES BETTER- BEVERLY AND BEN GET MARRIED BY THE WAY, AND A BONUS EPISODE OF THEIR FONDEST MEMORIES ALL PUT TOGETHER LIKE A VINTAGE HOME VIDEO, GRAINY AND SLIGHTLY DISCOLORED SOMETIMES, BUT FILLED WITH LAUGHTER AND JOY AND SHENANIGANS, BECAUSE THESE KIDS ARE NOT THEIR TRAUMAS, NOT THEIR FLAWS. THESE KIDS ARE NOT JUST MONSTER KILLERS, THEY ARE HUMAN, AND THEY HAD BEAUTIFUL TIMES TOO. 

BONUS BONUS, THE CREDITS SHOW THE SAME NOSTALGIC VIDEO OF THE CAST INTERACTING AND BEING THEMSELVES BEHIND THE SCENES AND IT’S SO TOUCHING THAT EVERYONE FUCKING CRIES WHEN THE SERIES IS OVER, TEARY KIDS AND ADULTS ALIKE ALL HUGGING AND LAUGHING AND SAYING THAT THIS WAS THE BEST PROJECT OF THEIR LIVES. EVERYONE WATCHING AT HOME IS FUCKING OBLITERATED IN A MESS OF TEARS AND EMOTIONS. THE FUCKING END. 

  • Lucien: Of course me and Elain will get together. She is my mate aftera-
  • Azriel: Hello.
  • Azriel: It's me.

this-is-not-a-forever-home  asked:

Give me a list of reasons why you think either A. Why Dan and Phil are moving out or B. Why they aren't moving out separately.

why dnp are moving out:

• their lease ends in may, and dan says there won’t be live shows for about three weeks or more. coincidence? i think not.
• plus, dans liveshow,, oh b o y. so he’s using his phone but gives no plausible reason as to why he couldn’t be set up at his regular computer? hm.
• and, his room look so e m p t y. his table is cleared off and his wirrow painting is gone.
• when asked about the wirrow painting he answered, “i guess you could say that im relocating it”. if he was just redecorating the room, why would he not just say it? why would he specifically use the word “relocating”? interesting.
• he also said it’s gonna be a busy three weeks,, and i have a feeling it’s not just about australia,, js

why dnp (most likely) aren’t moving out separately:

• their lives are so intertwined. disgusting rlly :/
• no but really, if they moved out separately they would have to separate their belongings, and that seems kind of difficult when you literally own everything t o g e t h e r.
• i truthfully don’t feel that they would want to move apart from each other when they have the gaming channel. it seems way to difficult to upload regularly and live separately.
• they have literally spent nearly everyday with eachother since 2011? (and have been best friends since 2009). it just seems unrealistic that after all this time (especially considering their ages), that they would move apart if they haven’t already.
• while yes, dnp are fantastic youtubers individually, their careers a r e intertwined. they toured the world together, have met so many well-known people together through their careers, it seems so unlikely that they would just throw that all away and live separately.
• also,, they’ve g r o w n together. dan wouldn’t have started youtube without phil, and they’ve watched each other grow both on youtube and personally.
• they do everything t o g e t h e r. they watch every movie and tv show together. they go to parties together. they eat breakfast lunch and dinner together. they stay up late together. they make videos together. they literally love each other so much (regardless of their relationship status) and it just seems so unrealistic that they’d move apart.

gUYS. my room mate showed me a dnd quiz that was ridiculously long, but so cool http://www.easydamus.com/character.html

basically you answer a bunch of questions and it tells you your race, alignment, class, even stats! like it’s so extra but I love it. here’s what my results looked like, 

this is so stupid and i love it. 

@thatdaydreamerguy @bansheemaster96 @motherlycleric

“Yes, I believe in long distance relationships. There’s seven billion people in the world, you really think your soul mate lives down the street?”

Namaste

So this is a silly little thing I wrote for my lovely friend @anuecc. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 💙 I am still intent on dragging your cute, yoga toned ass down to drarry hell ;)


Harry should have known this was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea. But to be fair, who in Merlin’s name would have expected Draco Malfoy showing up here, looking… like this?

“Malfoy,” Harry spluttered, his voice sounding embarrassingly raspy. “Are you… Is that a crop top?”

Malfoy raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest, seeming unconcerned.

“Is that what this is called?”

Harry swallowed around the lump that was building in his throat. Dear Merlin! Malfoy’s stomach looked simply delicious! And the way his trousers hugged his hips!

“Um… aren’t those trousers a little tight?”

Malfoy narrowed his eyes.

“I was told this is what Muggles wear when they do…” He waved a hand around in the air, clearly searching for the right word. “Whatever this is called.”

“It’s called Yoga,” Harry sighed, “and we’re going to be late. Come on.”

Harry held the door open for him and immediately wished he had gone in first. Watching Malfoy’s perfect bum move in those trousers was torture. Malfoy briefly hesitated after a few steps, looking around the room.

“What is this, Potter?” he hissed under his breath. “We’re the only blokes here.”

Harry blushed and wordlessly made his way to the last two spare yoga mats, right in the middle of the room.

“I will kill Shacklebolt for this,” Harry heard Malfoy mutter. “Last week, he sent us on that bloody camping trip and now this?”

Harry sighed as he sat down on his yoga mat. He peeked at the two girls beside him, who were laughing about something and tying their blonde hair into buns. Trying to drop his voice into a whisper, so they wouldn’t hear, he spat, “It would be so much easier if you weren’t such a prat, Malfoy. He wants us to get along. I hate to say this, but we’ve compromised two of our missions now because we couldn’t agree on-”

“That wasn’t my fault,” Malfoy interrupted him. “My approach was better than yours. Why did I have to get you as my partner anyway?”

“Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you applied to become an Auror. You knew it was what I wanted to do and you knew there would be a chance we would end up as partners. Just my luck.” Harry muttered the last part under his breath, but Malfoy must have heard, because he shot Harry a dark look, before plopping down on the yoga mat in front of him.

“Hello everyone,” the instructor said in an overly breathy voice. Harry suspected it was meant to be soothing, but it just sounded really odd.

“We will begin today’s class by trying to reconnect to our breath,” she continued. “Now, bring your palms together in front of your heart, really press them together and close your eyes.”

“You must be kidding me,” Harry heard Malfoy sneer.

“Now take a deep breath in through your nose… but do it gently…”

Harry startled at the collective intake of breath that sounded like a giant was gasping.

“… and then press your lips together as you slooooowly exhale. Imagine that the sound you’re making right now is the sound of ocean waves rolling in and out, in and out…”

Harry could practically see Malfoy rolling his eyes, even from the back of his head.

“Breathe innnn…. breathe ou-hhhh-t.”

“Seriously, she wants to teach me how to breathe?” Malfoy snarled, turning his head back to Harry.

“Stop complaining and just do it,” Harry whispered.

Of course, Malfoy continued with his little commentary.

“…Downward-facing dog? Who came up with that name?”

“…Ow! This is not a natural pose for a human!”

“…What do you mean ‘lift your leg’? If I do that, I’m never going to have any children!”

“…Merlin, is this woman trying to break my neck?”

Harry pressed his lips into a tight line to keep himself from snickering. Malfoy’s hissing was rather distracting. As was…

“Potter! Stop staring at my arse!”

“Am not,” Harry mumbled, mentally slapping himself for getting caught like that.

“Good, good,” the instructor crooned. “Now, we take a little break. Sit down on your yoga mat and let the person next to you massage your feet.

“Ugh, why feet,” the girl next to Harry groaned. He smiled at her awkwardly, to which she bit her lip.

“No offense,” she said, “but I’m not letting a stranger touch my feet.”

“Fair enough,” Harry mumbled and turned to Malfoy.

“Don’t you dare, Potter,” he growled, when Harry stretched out his hands towards his feet.

“Yeah okay, maybe we skip that one,” Harry muttered sheepishly.

“We should have skipped the whole class.”

Harry usually didn’t agree with Malfoy, but when the instructor told them they would be doing partner poses now, he cursed Kingsley under his breath.

“Now, stand up and face each other.”

They did, but not without scowling at each other.

“Place your feet firmly on the ground and stretch out your hands. Press your palms against the palms of your partner.”

Harry almost flinched when their hands touched. If he had known touching would be involved, he probably would have refused to come here altogether. Thinking about touching Malfoy in the privacy of his own home was one thing, but actually doing it in a room with a bunch of strangers, that was something else entirely. Why did Malfoy have to be so handsome? It was irritating.

“Now slowly bend forward,” the instructor said in her breathy voice, “until your foreheads are touching. Your arms should be up, over your head.”

Harry tried to control his face, praying he wasn’t blushing. When his black hair mingled with blonde, he heard Malfoy making an odd sound.

“This is disgusting,” Malfoy muttered. “We’re both sweating.”

“And it wouldn’t be disgusting if we weren’t?”

Harry startled when Malfoy slightly raised his chin. Their noses were touching and Harry could feel Malfoy’s breath on his lips.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you have been looking at me all day,” Malfoy said with narrowed eyes. “Or how I woke up with an arm draped over me when we were camping last week.”

“Oh. I- I thought you woke up after me,” Harry mumbled, definitely blushing now. “You didn’t say anything about it.”

Yes, why hadn’t Malfoy said anything about that? He could have made fun of Harry for days.

“You really are thick, Potter,” Malfoy said in a teasing tone, as the instructor walked by them to correct the pose of the couple beside them.

“Good job everyone. Now, turn around, so you’re back to back and link your arms at the elbows.”

“Um, Malfoy,” Harry said, when Malfoy stepped closer to him and put his hands on Harry’s hip. “I think she just told us to turn around.”

Malfoy’s lips stretched into a huge smirk. He leaned forward, his cheek briefly brushing Harry’s, until his lips were right at Harry’s ear.

“I won’t stop you if you want to.”

Harry choked on his own breath, his eyes going wide.

“Come on,” Malfoy chuckled, “we’re hitting the showers.”

“But class is not over yet,” Harry mumbled absentmindedly.

“Well, I want to try some… different kind of poses.”

“Oh,” was all Harry was able to say.

“You do remember how to do a water repellant charm, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Why?” Harry frowned.

“We need to use it on your Muggle distant-talking device.”

“My… you mean my phone.”

Malfoy nodded.

“And why exactly do we need to do that?”

“Well, after Shacklebolt went through all this trouble, so we would get along, he really should get something in return for his hard work.”

Harry stared blankly at him.

“What?”

“We’ll send him proof,” Malfoy winked.

“We’ll- what?”

“Come on, Potter,” Malfoy chuckled darkly as he tugged Harry forward, “we have important Auror business to attend to.”


Special thanks to @demelzasings, the Ellipsis Queen! :D

Like the look on his face. I imagine the conversation with people who weren’t there going something like:

Draco: So then I made a stupid paper bird and charmed it to fly at him with a rude picture drawn inside.

Background Slytherin 1: Wait….paper bird? Like, you folded him a paper crane? And then charmed it to get to him?

Draco: …yeah. It was savage.

Background Slytherin 2: Dunno, mate. That’s some pretty lovely charm work. How’d you get it to him?

Draco: You know… I just sort of…blew on it. Like you do.

Background Slytherin 1: Like, just so we’re clear…You made him an origami note, and sent it to him by blowing him a kiss? That doesn’t seem, you know…really romantic?

Background Slytherin 2: Draco, mate, it’s okay if you like him. We won't–

Draco: YOU’RE MISSING THE POINT THE DRAWING INSIDE WAS REALLY MEAN.

8

the progression from “no i’m not talking to my spouse” to
“SHIT SORRY I THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO MY SPOUSE”