not real mexican food

why the fuck do people always remind you that taco bell isn’t real mexican food like do you not think that i know that like do you think i go to taco bell because i think the 16 year old white guy behind the window just made me authentic mexican cuisine two minutes before i pulled to the second window no do you know why i go to taco bell it’s because it’s 1:30am and my life is terrible so i order a coke and five dorito loco tacos and shove them down my face in the parking lot

6

Tacos al pastor, is a dish developed in Central Mexico, shawarma spit-grilled meat brought by the Lebanese immigrants to Mexico. Being derived from shawarma, it is also similar to the Turkish döner kebab and the Greek gyro. Although shawarma and döner are usually lamb-based (thus the “shepherd-style” name), gyros and tacos al pastor in Mexico are pork based. In some places of northern Mexico, as in Baja California, this taco is called taco de adobada.

Lebanese immigration to Mexico started in the 19th and early 20th centuries see Lebanese Mexicans. In 1892, the first Lebanese arrived in Mexico from Beirut in French ships to Mexican ports. At that time, Lebanon was not an independent nation; the territory was governed by the Ottoman Empire for more than 400 years, but the empire was collapsing, which influenced the migration of many people. In the 1960s, Mexican born Lebanese migrants began opening their own restaurants, and morphing their heritage into Mexico.

Though grilling meat on a skewer has ancient roots in the Eastern Mediterranean with evidence from the Mycenaean Greek and Minoan periods,grilling a vertical spit of stacked meat slices and cutting it off as it cooks was developed in the 19th century in Ottoman Bursa current day Turkey. According to some sources, the Middle Eastern shawarma, Mexican tacos al pastor, and Greek gyros are all derived from the Turkish döner kebab, which was invented in Bursa in the 19th century by a cook named Hadji Iskender.

Swingers

Pairings: Tyler x Reader, Josh x Jenna

Warnings/Tags: Swinging, Cum Swapping, choking

This was definitely a challenge but  I had a lot of fun writing it I hope you guys like it. It’s just over 3.3k words.

I usually don’t specify when somethings an AU but I feel like it’s important to mention  that this is an AU and the boys aren’t famous in this otherwise it wouldn’t be believable that they don’t get recognized at the party.


Tyler doesn’t  mean to be nosey,really he doesn’t, it’s just that he’s so easily distracted; so when Josh excuses himself from conversation at the kitchen table to take a phone call,  Tyler can’t help but to grab the half folded up, brightly colored flyer laying in a pile of Josh’s mail that’s sitting on the table. Tyler reads it, smiling to himself before quickly folding it up smaller and shoving it in his pocket.

“Tyler that’s a federal offense did you just steal Josh’s mail?” His wife Jenna asks from his left.

“Shhh! It’s just the kind of junk mail you get when you live in L.A.  I guess. “He says keeping his voice low. "Plus besides I’ve been looking for a way to spice things up with you.” He smirks.

“Tyler what is it? What did you just take?” Jenna asks now extremely curious, as she tries to pull the folder flyer from Tyler’s pocket.

“Jenna not now, shhh! I’ll show you later.” Tyler whispers swatting Jenna’s hand away as Josh returns to the kitchen.

“Sorry about that it was Y/N, she’s running late from work, but I told her you guys were hear and she’s so excited you’re in town for the weekend. What brings you guys this way anyways?” Josh says returning from his phone call.

“I took Jenna to Disneyland for the week an we figured we better stop by while we were close.”   Tyler answers.

“So have you guys found a place to stay yet? There’s some really nice hotels?” Josh asks.

“Oh.. umm ..no, not yet..” Tyler says taken aback totally expecting Josh to have  invited  him to stay at his place. “I uh..guess we should go figure that out then. He says looking to Jenna. "but let’s grab dinner after we get settled.”

“Yeah definitely!” Josh agrees. “I’ll text you the address of wherever we decide to go.”

“Alright, catch you later man.” Tyler says, walking towards the door

*****************************************

“Sorry babe, there was an accident on the highway.” You say when you finally make in home. “Where’s Jenna and Tyler?”

“They went to go find a hotel.” Josh answers.

“Why? Why didn’t you just tell them they could stay here?” You give him a confused look.

“Did you forget we have the annual Swingers Ball tonight?” Josh says. We can’t exactly be like ‘hey we’re gonna go to a party but uhh just stay here’, or  'hey we’re gonna go fuck some strangers see you later’.“ He laughs

"Okay, yeah good point.” You agree looking through the pile of mail on the table. “Hey Josh where’s is the’s invitation for the party, you know that colorful little flyer that had all the info on it? I just wanted to double check the time but I can’t find it, I left it right here with the mail.

"I’m not sure, but you can always check the email reminder, but I’m pretty sure it starts at eleven, which is good because it still gives us time to go out with Tyler and Jenna for dinner before. Where do you wanna go?” Josh asks.

“Let’s taken them to that little authentic Mexican place  a few blocks over, show Tyler was real Mexican food is.” You laugh as you scroll thorough your emails on your phone locating the reminder. “Yeah it is at eleven.”

“Ok I’ll text Tyler about the restaurant.” Josh answers.

***************************************

“Ahhhhhh it’s so nice to see you again.” You squeal as you hug your best friend Jenna. “You too, Tyler.” You break away from Jenna to give Tyler a quick hug as well when they approach the table at the restaurant.

“Did you guys find this place okay?” Josh  asks as the four of you take your seats at the table.

“Yeah it’s actually pretty close to our hotel.” Tyler answers still slightly annoyed that their not staying with you and Josh.

“Oh good I’m glad you guys found a place.” You’re stomach swirls with guilt as you answer; making your best friends get a hotel so you could have sex with strangers. If it was any other meetup you guys would have bailed immediately to be with Tyler and Jenna, but this was the Annual Swingers Ball; you and Josh are pretty well known through out the swingers community and your attendance  at this  years biggest meetup is highly anticipated.

*************************************

Dinner goes well, it’s so great to catch up, and hear all about Jenna and Tyler’s trip to Disneyland. After the food you all have another round of drinks and continue to chit chat until you notice the time; it’s 9:30 and you and Josh  both still have to take a shower and get dressed and ready for the party.

“Well I’m gonna have to call it a night guys, sorry I’m just exhausted from today but we’ll make it up to you guys tomorrow and take you sight seeing and all that I promise.”  You say before finishing the last sip of your drink.

“Uh ..yeah us too actually.” Tyler says looking down at his watch. “But yeah we’ll definitely take you up on that offer tomorrow.  

"Anything else I can get you?” The waitress stops by to ask.

“No I think we’re all set, just the check.” Josh answers.

The waitress returns shortly with the check; both boys reaching into their pockets for their wallets.

“Ty I’ll get it.” Josh says pulling the check towards him.“ It’s the least I can do.

*************************************

After the restaurant you rush home to take a shower and change; getting dressed to the nines for the ball in a slinky floor length black dress with a high slit , and jeweled straps and neckline. Josh looks handsome as ever in simple black dress pants, a white button down shift cuffed to the elbow showing of his sleeve tattoo, and a black tie;  his yellow hair perfectly tousled.

"Mmmm you look so good I might just need to keep you for myself tonight.” You tease as you straighten his tie.

“You too.” He smirks, biting his lip, and grazing his fingertips up  along the flesh of your thigh peeking out of your dress’s long slit.  

“Keep it up and we’re not gonna make it to the party.” You quip, pushing down his roaming hand as you turn to leave.

“Don’t forget who this belongs to.” He says with a hearty smack to your ass, as you exit the apartment.

“I never do.” You smile, looking over your shoulder at Josh.

********************************************

At the party you see all your regular acquaintances and even a few fresh new faces, but despite everyone looking their best for the ball  you and Josh are having a hard time agreeing on a couple to approach. You both want to pair up with a new couple you haven’t experienced before but your picky tastes limit your selections; Josh preferring tall blondes, and you favoring men with tattoos.  You always agreed when you first got into swinging that you would never settle on a couple you both weren’t completely into even if it meant going home alone that night; you weren’t desperate you were both more than happy with just each other;  getting to experience other couples together is just an added perk.

You were just about to call it quits and head home when you spot a lone couple anxiously stirring in a distant corner of the large room; their backs facing you.

“Josh, look.” You whisper tapping his arm to get his attention, and motioning discretely to the couple. They definitely fit your types; the girls long blonde hair pulled up into a sleek ponytail, her strappy yellow dress flowing beautifully from tall, slender frame as she nervously sips her drink; her brunette, tattooed husband by her side fidgeting with his wedding band.

“They definitely have potential.” Josh says as the two of you make your way over to introduce yourselves.  The closer you get the more familiar they seem; maybe you have seen them at a meetup before after all.

“Wait, oh my god Josh is that…?”

“TYLER!…JENNA!” Josh exclaims cutting you off, as you now stand directly behind the couple. They turn around with blushed faces, and their eyes go wide with shock; matching your own, as you all take in what’s happening.

“What are you guys doing here?” You speak first.

“Well I guess we could ask you the same.” Tyler retorts, nervously twirling his hair.

“Fair enough.” Josh replies, looking around. “Hey umm, why don’t we discuss this back at the apartment?

"Okay.” Tyler and Jenna agree

********************************************

The walk up the stairs to you and Josh’s apartment is filled with awkward silence; Josh is the first to break it once the four of you are inside.

“Well I guess we should explain first.” Josh starts as everyone takes a seat on the couch in the living room. “I don’t even know where to start, so I’m just gonna come out and say it Yes, Y/N and I are swingers.” He looks to you, taking your hand in his. You nod letting him know he was doing ok and to continue. “We’re actually fairly well known in the swingers community. This was the biggest party of the year, and it’s the only reason we had you guys stay in a hotel. We knew there would be questions if we went to a party without inviting you guys to come along and we weren’t ready to explain our lifestyle, but I’m honestly kinda of glad to have it out in the open with you guys now, you’re our best friends and I’m hoping by the fact that you guys were there too that you’ll be understanding.

"Of course you guys.” Jenna smiles, briefly  placing her hand on your knee for reassurance. “I mean we’ve never done anything like that before but Tyler brought it up and I thought we could go check it out and see what happens”.

“How did you guys even find out about it?” You look at them quizzically and Jenna shoots Tyler a look.

“Umm I saw the flyer on your kitchen table and I thought I was junk mail, so I umm took it, sorry. I thought it would be fun to spice things up with Jenna while we were out here, where nobody knows us.” Tyler admits.

“So that’s why I couldn’t find the invite when I was looking for it earlier.”  You laugh. “but anyways Josh and I were talking on the way home and if you’re still interested in uhhh spicing things up as Tyler just put it then ummmm …uhh …we’d love to help. You ramble anxiously, unaware of how they’ll respond to what your proposing.

"Like swing, like ..like.. with us.” Jenna asks for clarification.

“Yeah,  if you’re comfortable with that, if not we can just pretend this  whole night never happened.” Josh responds, trying to let them know what even decision  they make will be respected.

Tyler and Jenna look at each other; silently communicating before both answering with a simple “Ok”

“Let’s move this to the bedroom then shall we.” Josh smirks motioning to the hallway.

“So like how does this even work exactly?” Tyler asks as him and Jenna take a seat on the edge of the bed.“

"So, I get Jenna.” Josh smiles pulling her up from the bed by her hand. “and you get Y/N .” He says as you take the spot next to Tyler, previously occupied by Jenna, and rest your hand midway up Tyler’s inner thigh.

“A-nything else we should know.” Tyler tenses under your touch, bracing himself with his hands; resting one on each side of his seated body.

“Just relax and have a good time, follow our lead.” You encourage, rubbing small soothing circles with your thumb.

“Oh and I want you both to know we always practice safe sex outside of our own relationship and get tested regularly so there is nothing to worry about.” Josh reassures them . “ But umm since I know you and Tyler have never really been with anyone else we’re open to not using anything if you guys want, Y/N is on birth control.” Josh says, looking to Jenna, his hand snaked around her waist.

“I-I am too, I’m okay with that.” Jenna shifts her eyes from Josh to Tyler to make sure he agrees; Tyler responds with a quick nod.

“And if at any time you guys wanna stop, just say so and we’ll stop immediately, no questions asked. You add, moving your hand up Tyler’s thigh; he seems to have relaxed some. You slide your hand up higher, palming the growing bulge in his dress pants and connect your lips to his. You part your lips encouragingly and Tyler takes notice running an experimental lick along your top lip before sliding his tongue into your mouth.

Josh migrates his  hand slowly up Jenna’s back to the base of her neck; slowly unzipping her yellow dress while pulling her in for a kiss. To Josh’s surprise Jenna’s tongue is the first to make a move; pushing past his lips and swirling about his mouth; showing far less apprehension than her husband despite ”spicing up things”  being his idea.

Tyler slides the jeweled straps of your dress off your shoulders; the fabric sliding down your chest and pooling in your lap as your tongues still explore each others mouths. You stand, pulling Tyler with you; your lips still attached as you let your dress to fall to the floor and step out. Tyler grips your back pulling you towards him deepening this kisses, he fumbles with your bra clasp for a brief moment before getting it; your strapless bra springing free from your body and joining your dress on the floor. Tyler breaks the kiss to admire your body, lightly grazing his hands over your naked form.

“Is this okay?” He asks and he touches you. His eyes quickly dart over to his wife; her breasts in his best friends mouth, and for a brief moment you see jealously wash over him.

“Relax Ty, she’s in good hands” you whisper as you kiss his neck, your hands undoing his belt. “And you are too,” you smirk against his skin as you grasp his length; his pants falling down his thighs. You begin a trail of kisses down his neck and over his tattooed chest as you pump him, continuing to kiss down his body, stopping only to pull his boxers father down with your free hand, the other gripping the base of his cock.  Resting on your knees, you take Tyler’s length into your mouth sucking playfully on the head as you stroke the rest with your hand, producing a satisfied groan to vibrate in his throat, catching the attention of Jenna. She watches briefly as you bob over her husbands length; following suit, she drops to her knees before Josh, undoing his belt and shimmying his pants and boxers down his thighs, springing his erection free. She doesn’t waste anytime, quickly grasping his cock and guiding it into her mouth and beginning to suck; hollowing her cheeks as she moves her mouth up and down his length. Josh tangles his hand in her blonde hair; gripping it lightly he begins to control her movements, pulsing his hand on the back of her head; his own head tipped back in pleasure with eyes closed.

You can feel Tyler looking down watching you; his hands resting on your shoulders and you look up to meet his lust filled gaze as you take him deeper into your mouth. “Fuck” he whines softly, sucking in his bottom lip between his teeth, as his eyelashes flutter. You grip the back of his thighs just under the crease of his backside pulling him in until the tip of his cock grazes the back of your throat causing you to gag.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He pants. You pull back, keeping just the head in your mouth, pumping the rest, and allowing the warm liquid to fall onto your tongue. You climb onto the bed; mouth full of cum and turn to face Josh opening you mouth; white strands dripping from the corners.

The sight of his best friends cum filling your mouth is enough to trigger Josh’s own orgasm; cradling Jenna’s head as he fills her mouth.  "Mmmm Hold it.“ He grunts knowing what you have planned. Josh’s removes himself from Jenna’s mouth as you quickly grab her pulling her onto the bed before she has a chance to swallow, colliding your filled mouth against hers, cum dripping down both you and Jenna’s chin as your tongues mix and swap the salty substance. Jenna pulls back from the kiss first; your lips still connected by  strands of sticky cum that stretch until they break. The visual is enough to keep both boys hard and ready for more. Jenna proudly opens her mouth looking up at Tyler before shes swallow, as he gets into position behind you; pulling down your black thong.

“Fuck that’s so hott baby! You having fun.” He asks his wife as he teases your entrance with the tip of his cock. She nods rapidly with smile at Tyler while Josh grips her ass from behind, lowering his head to kiss along her lower back before pulling down her thong with his teeth. He grasps his length gliding it through her wet folds and pushes in. He quickly establishes a rhythm thrusting in and out; his skin slapping against Jenna’s.

“Oh shit, I love watching you get fucked baby, you look so good.” Tyler praises Jenna as  he fucks you; finally no longer being a tease. He’s slightly smaller than Josh but feels just as good; the slight curve of his length hitting you G-spot with every thrusts.

“ Fuck Tyler, right there.” You moan pushing back against him, desperate for more. Tyler groans lowly to himself in response.

“Hey Ty, ….Mmmm fuck..any kinky shit you’ve wanted to try now’s your chance Y/N loves that shit. Josh informs Tyler as he continues to fuck his wife.

"L-like …Mmmmm like what? Tyler ask trying to keep his composure but failing; he’s so close.

"Fucking choke me, Tyler!” You moan out, causing Josh to chuckle at your neediness. Tyler brings an unsure hands to your neck, grasping it lightly as if he’s afraid he’ll break it. “Tighter, Tyler!” You place one hand over his, the other supporting yourself on the bed, and you squeeze your hand around his, effectively tightening his grip. “I’m gonna cum.” You barely manage to squeak out; as the pleasure from Tyler cock mixes with the euphoric feeling of your blood flow and oxygen being restricted, causing an intense orgasm to surge through your core. Tyler helps you ride out your orgasm still chasing after his own.

“Told ya, she loved that shit.” Josh laughs, gripping Jenna’s hips and quickening his pace, She drops her head low, eye closed, eyebrows furrowed together; Tyler knows that face, he’s seen it a million times; Jenna’s about to cum.

“Fuck, Josh I’m cumming!” Jenna screams out as if on queue; her arms giving way under her as she sinks into the mattress. Josh finishing seconds later. The sight of his wife coming completely undone at the hands of his best friend are enough to make Tyler fill you up.

The room is quiet, nothing but a symphony of heavy breathing can be heard as everyone collapses down onto the bed.

“For the record…” Josh huffs out, pausing to take another breath, “You guys can stay with us anytime.”

anonymous asked:

I can picture the batfam wanting tacos and they get the *American* version like Taco Bell and Latin!Jason is just like ????? those aren't real tacos???? TF IS THIS FAKE SHIT???? And just makes tacos just like his mom used to make and shows everyone the best places for Mexican food, and everyone just sees the error of their ways.

jason: bruce give me two-hundred dollars. don’t give me that look i’m serving like eight people and ingredients aren’t cheap if u want it done right 

The relation between americans and mexicans is really funny

In México, we have no problem with americans, you are studing in México? Dude, you are going to party with us, you are going to eat mexican food with our family and some REAL tacos. Oh, you are traveling? Perfect, more party oh… And we will try to sell you things, you know, dollars are a pretty thing.

But when a mexican go to the USA to WORK, oh, we are the problem, all the bad things on the USA, are because of the mexicans, like really, fuck México, is that guy working more than 12 hours a day, fuck him, why is he doing that?

Some people, and Im not saying that all americans, but a lot, are shit to us, when in México we will make you our ‘amigo’ instantly.

Converse High (One Shot/Scenario/Request)

Summary: There are two things he doesn’t get; why everyone thinks she’s so great and her choice of shoes. 

Original Scan: ©


There are many things Min Yoongi doesn’t understand about high school. For one, who decides who the cool kids are? Who picked their school lunch menu? Since when does grilled cheese validate as remotely healthy? Because the hardened pieces of bread glued together by American flavored cheese are frankly horrifying.

Also why was his music technology class only one semester?

Keep reading

My dad said Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was too ridiculous because the song were too dumb. Why can’t he notice it’s satirical? The songs are supposed to be satirical! They’re funny! The entire series makes you laugh at some situations and then makes you realize you might have been in a similar situation.

Like have you listened to Love Kernels? You may think “she’s so dramatic if she thinks he loves her just because he gave her a compliment or just simply talks to her”. But, haven’t we all been there? Hoping that person reciprocates our feelings just because they smiled at us? Plus they used a graet metaphor and broke the 4th wall! 

Then we have songs like You Go First. I can’t count the times I’ve felt like this. You and a friend/significant other fight and you just want to apologize, but you don’t want to be the first one? This is the song you been looking for!

A song about group hangs complaining about how they’re not getting what real Mexican food is? As a Mexican who hates eating “Mexican” food whenever I go to the US I loved it!

And there’re more! A song about the reality of having big boobs, of being a second choice, of being the villain in your own story, of discovering your bisexual, and many other relatable situations!

This show has everything you want to see and people continue to ignore it because of the title or because they don’t like musical. But really, you need to watch it. The protagonist is an impulsive woman with depression and anxiety that is portrayed realistically. She’s an anti-heroin, her own villain in fact! The only canon couple is a gay man and bisexual middle-aged man who are the cutest couple you’ll see in the show! The “Ex- Boyfriend” is a Filipino guy! His current girlfriend is Latina. Two characters are have the same name and instead of call them “Josh and Filipino Josh” it’s “White Josh and Josh”.

I love this show so much. Please, please, please watch it! It’s so good! And funny! And the songs are so catchy! The first season is already on netflix! watch it!

Los Angeles Gothic

-Tourists, tourists everywhere. They are so lost. They ask for directions and do not stop, you scream, they are still asking you for directions. You scream, they still ask you for directions. Where is the hollywood sign they ask. They are covered in sunscreen it is dripping off them. Screaming, unending screaming.

-Traffic is terrible you say to a faceless co-worker, they agree. You hear car horns, lights flash, you realize you are in traffic right now. Traffic is all there is. You cannot remember a time you weren’t in traffic. The co-worker was a hallucination or was it? The traffic is testing you, you will not let it break you.

-Someone makes a joke about the drought. You laugh. It is a dry laugh. As dry as the state you live in. You laugh so hard you cry. There is no water in your eyes, only drought. Still they make jokes. The voices around you laugh, all of california is laughing it is a dry horrible thing.

-Your favorite place to eat is a hole in the wall taco place. You maintain it is the best taco place even though it is never in the same place twice. You do not find it, it finds you. It finds you during late nights when you think you are drowning in the city. When you can’t remember what trees look like. Then the smell of tacos drifts towards you. You forget trees and remember that here there is real mexican food, real flavors. You go and eat some.

-You stare into the night sky nostalgic for something you never had. You make a wish on a shooting star. It is a helicopter. You make a wish on another shooting star. It is a plane. You cannot remember if you have ever seen stars. The sky is filled with twisted machinery blinking eerily.

-Pavement covered in gum and skyscrapers climbing ever upwards and bricks grey from wear and bright colorful lights reflecting unnatural rainbows. Man’s folly was pride you think to yourself. You see someone pissing on a street corner.

-You think of moving, of walking until you reach the ocean. You look to the west and to the east. There is smog and in the distance mountains. You think of forests and rivers and cities that weren’t carved from man’s ingenuity and sheer force of will. You wonder what the world is like out there. You turn around, breathe deeply, and feel at home.

-There are homeless people everywhere. Bundles of rags, who you do not recognize as human until they move. They ask for change, beg for attention. They are ignored, avoided, shunned. You wonder what you could do to society to make them hate you that much. You give them change, leftovers, anything and they smile like you are the first sun after a long winter. But you do not know what winter is. And at the end of the day they will spend their nights under bridges in their rags.

-Graffiti spread across the city like a rash growing and growing, ever shifting. You admire a piece on your way to work it is gone when you are back. Replaced by something equally colorful and relevant. The paint shifts before your eyes, art is not stagnant they say. The tourists coo.

-It is raining. People are screaming. Why is water falling from the sky? Cars are crashing. Children are crying. Mother nature has become twisted, cats barking and dogs meowing. Corpses are coming back to life, they ask if the dodgers have won a world series yet. God is punishing us for our sins, we will be left to drown for some new Noah’s Ark. We will all drown oh god someone save us. Oh wait, it has stopped. That was pleasant.