not quite fifty but

Hi everyone,

learning a language should be fun, so I’ve compiled a list of German comedy things - movies, scenes, poems, everything! I haven’t seen all of these (mostly just the old ones haha) because I don’t watch a lot of movies but the ones on here are quite popular. Of course humour is subjective, so I can’t guarantee you’ll like everything on here. 

I’ll put the level of German you’ll need for these in brackets, because especially comedy which relies on word plays etc can be very hard to understand, and I don’t want this to be frustrating for anyone :)

Older Things/Classics 

Heinz Erhardt, Rudi Carell, and Loriot were the masters of Comedy in Germany. You can search them on Youtube and you’ll find millions of videos, probably. 

Sketches/Poems based on word plays (level C1):

1. Loriot:

  • Weihnachten bei Hoppenstedts (B2): Scenes from Christmas at a family’s home. It’s so ridiculous that it became a classic.
  • Skat (B2, it helps if you know the game Skat): A man is asked to play a round of Skat by two strangers, but he has no clue how to play. Instead of saying so, he tries to play it, but Skat isn’t really to be learnt on the go.

2. Heinz Erhardt:

3. Peter Frankenfeld: 

Movies:

Die Lümmel von der ersten Bank (7 movies in total, B1-B2): I love these movies! They’re about teenagers in a school who cause all kinds of havoc. The leader of that group is played by Hansi Kraus, and the headmaster Oberstudiendirektor Dr. Gottlieb Taft is played by Theo Lingen, who is a legend, basically. His acting is A+. Many other famous actors are in those movies, for example Uschi Glas, Hannelore Elsner, Gustav Knuth, and Peter Alexander. Here’s an example scene. (the students prank their teacher, pretending to destroy his violin and making him think he hallucinates). 

Die Feuerzangenbowle (B2-C1): A man (played by Heinz Rühmann) imagines what it would be like if he disguised himself as a student and went to school again. It’s a classic and really great, though a little harder to understand due to the dialects. Here’s an example scene (the students play a prank on their teacher pretending to be drunk).

Papa Ante Portas (B2 - C1): A man quits his job in his fifties and is now annoying his wife at home because he wants to “help” in the household. Everything kind of spirals into chaos the more he tries. 

Newer things

If you want movies, look for pretty much anything Matthias Schweighöfer is in (What a Man, der Nanny, Vier gegen die Bank, der Schlussmacher). Til Schweiger directs and stars in a lot of movies (some would argue, too many) which also have some dramatic aspects (Honig im Kopf, Keinohrhasen)

Some other movies that were somewhat successful:

If you have anything to add, let me know! :) 

anonymous asked:

Solangelo cuddles?

When Nico was younger - young enough to still be short and scowley but old enough to have lost his sister and fought in a war - he’d hated human touch.

There was something invasive about it. His skin was his and it was all that he had left, except for his shadows and if you took away his body bit by bit eventually you’d take the shadows too.

But he hated it - he’d wince when somebody would push past him in a busy street because it’d set off all these alarm bells ringing in his head. It’s why he liked the Underworld. There, not many things could try to touch you, not physically. Not many things would dare to touch you when the bear the title of the Ghost King.

It’s why he avoided Camp Half-Blood, where somebody always seemed to have an outreached hand. Nico wonders just how many times he pushed past Will Solace, scowled at the brush of their skin together and shuddered at the thought of ever shaking his hand.

Three years later he supposes that the thought is quite ironic.

Keep reading

korealchemist  asked:

Hello and how are you doing? Could you do baby headcannons for Jack, Genji, Roadhog, and Reinhardt? Or if there s/o was pregnant? The sweeter the better please and thank you! (If it's too much, I understand! I'm sorry but I hope you have a good day!)

I’ll do prefall and postfall for Jack/soldier 76 bc I’m not sure which you would prefer. I had to take a break while writing reinhardts because i actually remembered the freaking ‘the due date was in 1993′ comic and was laughing so hard I couldn’t think.

Jack Morrison


  • Strict with regimen for your pregnancy
    • Micromanages every meal to ensure that you’re both healthy
    • Counts your calories, makes sure your taking your vitamins, ect.
  • You occasionally snap at him for being so overbearing
    • He’ll go buy sweets/cake for an apology
  • Will sneak out of boring meetings to be with you.
    • What they going to do, Fire him?
    • He’ll bring snacks and rub your belly
  • At night he’ll have you curl up into his side while he does paperwork
    • Pressing a kiss to your forehead once in a while
  • He’ll wake up before you just to gently stroke your belly
    • the baby kicked once while he was doing this and he excitedly starting cooing at it waking you up.
      • you felt like you were falling in love with him again at that sight.
  • When you go into labour he’s at a meeting he can’t get out of
    • Jack’s frothing at the mouth the entire time and when he finally gets out he runs to the hospital where you are.
    • He manages to get there before you give birth and bursts into the room with a distressed nurse scolding him
    • He holds your hand while you give the final push
    • Completely enamored as he holds the baby only letting go when you make him apologize to the nurse
  • Doesn’t want to be apart from the baby so he gets a baby carrier
    • Walks around the base giving lectures with a baby strapped to his chest
    • Though no one takes them seriously when he starts cooing at the baby

Soldier 76


  • Protective of you
    • he’s lost too much already to handle loosing either you or the child
    • He’s not as strict with what you eat as he would have pre-fall but he will do everything for you
    • After you get annoyed that you can’t even run the laundry without him gently pulling the clothes out of your arms you throw a little tantrum and go sulk in the dark bedroom
    • A few hours go by before he skulks back, mask off, and apologetic.
    • When he explains that he’s terrified something will happen to you, you feel like a bit of an ass 
    • He stops being so overbearing but will still step in when he can’t help it
  • Will just press his mask into your belly and talk to it whenever he feels like it
    • He just doesn’t care what others think anymore
  • When your feet are aching he’ll have you lay down, feet in his lap, as he massages them.
  • If you look the slightest bit cold he’ll cover you with his signature ‘76′ jacket
  • Your water breaks when the two of you are just watching a movie
    • He’s holding you in his lap and then suddenly everythings wet
    • He’s in immediately mission mode when the grimace of pain flashes across your face
    • Throwing your hospital bag around his shoulders he lifts you bridal style.
  • After getting to the hospital he holds your hand the entire time
    • he swears you would have broken it if he hadn’t been made into a super soldier
  • He looks so peaceful while holding your child, the first time he cried a little.
    • Something clicked inside of him, a sense of completeness

Genji


  • Enamored with your stomach
    • Spends every moment he can stroking and staring at it.
    • He’ll sing Japanese lullabies to it or just speak in Japanese
  • If he’s with you every moment he can
    • if he’s away on a mission he’ll have Zenyatta keep you company
    • Zenyatta is thrilled to be with both Genji and you during such an important time of your life
  • If you are feeling any aches anywhere Genji will immediately massage you
  • He cries when he wraps your haraobi for the first time around your stomach
  • Prays constantly for an healthy baby and an easy birth for you
    • even going to nearest Buddhist temple
  • Will run to the store at three in the morning for your cravings
    • even if they aren’t the healthiest
  • When your contractions start he panics
    • freezing up until you yell at him with pain in your voice
    • He then overreacts, nearly forgetting the hospital bag on the way out.
    • Zenyatta meets the two of you at the hospital and instructs Genji how to calm down when they kick him out
    • He manages to stay calm until he hears the a baby start to cry and fights his way into the room
    • Seeing you lying there, exhaustion painting every inch of your body, hold yours and his child in your arms he swears he has never seen anything so beautiful
    • Zenyatta enters to see Genji crying as he holds the baby, you awkwardly patting him on the back.
    • Genji hands the baby to Zenyatta who gently holds it, cooing about how beautiful life is.
  • Genji constantly speaks to the baby in Japanese, talking about whatever is on his mind. 
    • How the weather is or something funny that happened, it always ended with him telling the child how loved they were.

Roadhog


  • Dangerously protective of you (dangerous to other people)
    • Even going as far as to terrify the mailman for stopping to say hello
    • Only thing that stopped him from rigging the place with explosives was you pointing out that it could do more harm to you than the intruder
    • Junkrat was there with bombs and everything
  • In private he’s quite affectionate
    • More so than before you were pregnant
  • “Buys” you fifty pillows when you mention your back hurts too much to sleep at night.
    • Arranges them in a sort of nest for you to curl up into
  • You come home from grocery shopping to see that he turned one of the rooms into a nursery
    • Stuffed animals line the wall, in various animals (few than a more of them are pigs)
  • He refuses to let you into a hospital as he doesn’t trust them
    • to compromise you get a midwife
  • Near the end when you’re particularly swollen he just starts carrying you around everywhere
  • Your water breaks as your making dinner, with only enough mind to turn of the stove before calling for Roadhog
    • The midwife is called and you are laying on your nest of pillows, covered in a plastic sheet.
    • You crushed his hand as you panted, pain coursing through your body
    • With every pained groan he felt useless, hands itching to strangle someone 
    • With one last push the baby finally came and even Roadhog’s harden heart warmed at the sight of a tired you holding their child
  • He spends a little time with the two of you before he starts doing heists again
    • Refusing to have a picture of his family in case he was arrested, he tries to keep both of you out of trouble
  • He still visits whenever he can, careful not to lead anyone to you

Reinhardt


  • As soon as you tell him he’s got names coming to mind.
    • He lists ten of them immediately and you good mannerly pat his hand.
  • When you start showing he just leans his head against the bump and gives a beaming grin
  • The two of you go on walks every morning, waddling with your growing stomach, as his hand encases yours entirely
  • Every night he wraps his arms around your waist and just lists more and more names
    • some of them get ridiculous and you’re certain that he’s just screwing with you
      •   He still insists that Nerthus is a name
  • You wake up one morning to see that he put together a crib while you were asleep, he stood there sheepishly saying that he wanted it to be a surprise
    • you were just surprised he managed to put it together without waking you
  • When your feet begin to swell he spends the whole day just pampering
    • Massaging your feet without the slightest thought
  • When your water breaks he just lifts you with one hand, the other holding your hospital bag
    • The entire time you were in labour he held your hand the entire time while you screamed
    • Several hours later, you were exhausted and just tiredly sighed that you couldn’t do this anymore
    • Reinhardt started a passionate speech, about the endurance of man and about how strong he knew you were
    • “I guess I can’t just keep this baby in there for years.”
    • When you finally push the baby out you cry in relief
    • After holding your screaming child for a bit you hand him off to Reinhardt, watching the way his hands hands completely covered the baby
  • He starts whispering, his normal voice making the baby cry with how loud he is
    • He is often seen just holding the child in his arms, gently cooing with one finger wiggling.
Jekyll: Quotes

{APPEARANCE}

• “a large, well-made, smooth-faced man of fifty”
↳ Dr Jekyll was quite at ease.

{SOCIETY’S VIEW}

• “well known and highly considered”
• “wealthy, beloved”
↳ describing himself in his letter.
• “celebrated”

{DESCRIPTIONS}

• “the very pink of proprieties”
↳ Enfield describing Jekyll at the start of the book.
• “every mark of capacity and kindness”
↳ Dr Jekyll was quite at ease.
• “bring the life of that unhappy Henry Jekyll to an end.”
↳ Last sentence of the book.

{TRANSFORMATION}

• “I became …a creature”
↳ Describing himself in his letter. Links to Hyde, who was called a “creature stealing like a thief to Harry’s bedside”
• “grew pale to the very lips, and there came a blackness about his eyes”
↳ Dr Jekyll was quite at ease.
• “I have lost confidence in myself”
↳ Incident of the letter, he’s lost his identity.

{ACTIONS}

• “an expression of abject terror and despair”
↳ When Hyde takes over again.

{OTHER}

• “unscientific balderdash”
↳ Lanyon about Jekyll’s ideas.
• “he cherished for Mr Utterson as sincere and warm affection”
↳ Dr Jekyll was quite at ease.
• “I swear to God” “O God”
↳ Incident of the letter, he’s desperate.
• "imperious desire to carry my head high”
↳ Henry Jekyll’s full statement if the case.
• “I had enjoyed the disguise of Hyde”

5

Tower (2016) is a documentary about the Texas Tower Sniper, and the events of August 1st, 1966 at the University of Texas at Austin. Using archival footage and rotoscopic animation, Tower tells the story of America’s first mass school shooting, which claimed the lives of 16, and wounded 31. Fifty years later, it’s quite jarring to see that nothing has changed, and school shootings have become almost commonplace.


As far back as you can remember, you could do anything. It took a long time before you realized you couldn’t. Of all the things you couldn’t do, music hurt the most. You got a shitty black strat when you were fifteen and you have never known anything more beautiful. On the good days, you couldn’t remember yourself when you played. On the good days, people said you sang with your hands. Whenever you looked at her, you knew why you were here. You were lazy, though. You always have been. Practice was boring, and your fingers never listened. So you played what you played and never learned anything new. Your guitar gets stolen one day and a little piece of your heart goes with it. You get a new one that looks just like her, but she doesn’t have your fingerprints and she’s missing a little bit of your soul. Twenty years go by and you still sound like you’re fifteen. You still sing, but there’s a sour taste on your tongue and your fingers shake a little. You find other artistic outlets so you don’t go mad. You take pictures of things and you write some words just so you can sing a little. People like them. You wonder if they know you’re a fraud. There’s a voice in your head every day that tells you time is running out and your friends look at your face and ask you why you look so damn sad all the time and you choke out a bitter smile and tell them you’ve got a lot on your mind. And every day you come home and look at an aging cliche in the mirror, run your aching hands gently over your guitar and tell her tomorrow. She looks at you, but she doesn’t say anything anymore. Some days your fingers shake, some days they lock. They always hurt. You don’t go to the doctor because you know what they’ll say. You still play sometimes and the thirst is still strong, but every day you die a little more. A girl you see sometimes casually mentions she’s never seen you smile. You grin at her and she smiles back hard like she doesn’t even know you’re a fake. You sit in the back of smoky bars sometimes and watch the music makers sing with their hands and you wonder if they can see your tears in the dark. Years go by. Your hands hurt bad now. They say you have a thing with too many syllables to pronounce. They say you can’t sing anymore. You smile like a man who just lost everything. You stumble home and stare at your middle aged face and you’re not quite sure how you spent fifty two years not doing the only thing you were made for, and that’s the only thing that hurts more than your hands. You pick her up, blow off a river of dust and play a little. It still feels like you’re singing. You put her down. “Tomorrow, we’ll play, ” you say quietly. “Tomorrow. ”
So you want work experience at the vet clinic...

You and fifty other high school students. Quite a lot of clinics will say ‘no’ to your application because they’re either not busy enough for you, can’t take the liability, are already training a new nurse or vet, or have just had bad experiences in the past.

It can be difficult to gain a work experience placement at a clinic, so here are some things to keep in mind.

Don’t:

  • Get your parent to make the inquiry for you
  • Ask on Facebook or via social media
  • Use chatspeak
  • Argue about a decision
  • Refer to staff at the front desk as ‘the girls’.
  • Leave it to the last minute

Do:

  • Chose a clinic you bring your animals to regularly.
  • Apply in person or over the phone, and mention that you bring “Animal’s name” to the clinic. Honestly, we often remember animals better than people.
  • Have a professionally set out resume that is readable when printed.
  • Dress nicely when you’re in the clinic. A shirt is nice and always closed toed shoes.
  • Say something other than “I love animals.” Everybody who isn’t a psychopath loves animals. Rephrase it.
  • Know how to pronounce the veterinarians’ names correctly.
  • Show why you are seeking work experience at this clinic in particular instead of any other clinic out there.
  • Follow up with a phone call a week or fortnight later to find out about the clinic’s decision.

Work experience is like a dress rehearsal for entering the profession. Present yourself accordingly.

Jack and Ashi: Violence as Self-Annihilation

As anyone who has been reading my blog lately can probably guess, I’ve been loving the new season of Samurai Jack. In a media culture saturated with mediocre and/or outright bad reboots and remakes, Season Five of Samurai Jack retains everything fans loved about the first four seasons, while the TV-14 rating allows for storytelling opportunities that weren’t available when it was a Y-7 show, and yet feel like a natural extension of the original.

The emotional touchstones of the new season have thus far been Jack, as is only fitting, and Ashi, one of the Daughters of Aku, and by Episode XCV, the only surviving daughter of Aku. The Daughters, Ashi especially, have been set up as parallels and foils for Jack in terms of their upbringing and their ‘purpose’ in life. In particular, the show explores a running theme through the both of them: violence as the annihilation of the self.

[CN/TW: Discussions of abuse and indoctrination]

Keep reading

Syzygy (JJP x Reader)

Request: could u do a fluff polyamorous relationship w/ jaebum an jinyoung pls?

Member: Got7′s JB x Got7′s Jinyoung x Y/N

Type: Fluff


I balanced my chin on my palm as I looked lovingly across the ottoman at Jaebum. He was buried deep in the rule book for scrabble, his tongue stuck between his teeth as he groaned along to different words he scanned over. I tilted my head focusing my eyes on the younger boy next to him, Jinyoung’s face was hidden behind a dictionary as he flipped through the pages quickly, muttering to himself. 

“I’m going to assume it’s not-” I began quietly, looking back and forth between them. 

Jinyoung lifted up his finger to hush me as his eyes remained glued on the book before him.  

“Oh no, I’m certain it’s a word,” Jaebum grumbled. “Jinyoungie wouldn’t dare put down something if it wasn’t a word. I just don’t know if you’re allowed to get that many points in one turn…” 

“Ah-ha!” Jinyoung gasped, his finger tapping the page quickly. “Syzygy, a conjunction or opposition, especially of the mood with the sun.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes before continuing through the rule book, flipping back and forth helplessly. 

“I believe that is 25 points…with a triple word score…” Jinyoung whispered happily to himself as he arranged the tiles. Jaebum’s eyes grew as he looked back and forth from Jinyoung to me, his expression soon growing sour. 

“That’s it, we’re breaking up,” he said, shaking his head quickly, tossing the rule book to the side and beginning to stand. 

“Yah! Jaebummie!” I cooed, trying not to giggle as Jinyoung’s jaw dropped and he looked up at our boyfriend. “You know Jinyoungie wins every time we play this!” 

“Plus wouldn’t that be awkward? If you broke up with me…but kept dating Y/N…and I kept dating Y/N,” Jinyoung said, a charming smile on his face as he rubbed Jaebum’s calf. “Plus you’d have to see me at work, the whole thing would just be so messy.” 

Jaebum crossed his arms, shimmying his shoulders as he pouted. 

“For someone who claims he has no aegyo, he sure is adorable when he’s upset,” I whispered, reaching over and pushing Jinyoung affectionately. 

“It’s not fair when you two gang up on me,” JB grumbled, shuffling over to the couch. He plopped on the aged leather and drew his feet up to sit behind me. 

“You like the attention,” I laughed, standing as well. My attempts at leaving the living room were futile as Jaebum wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me into him. I landed comfortably in his lap as he held me to his chest and nuzzled into my neck. 

“What? Does the winner not get any accolades?” Jinyoung gasped, fake shock on his face as he walked over, plopping alongside of Jaebum and setting his legs on top of mine. JB unravelled one arm from around my body and set it lightly on Jinyoung’s thigh. 

I smiled to myself as I watched them interact. I knew I was incredibly lucky to be in a relationship with both of these men. One of the best parts of my relationship though, was being able to watch the loving dynamic in which Jinyoung and Jaebum operated. They didn’t have to be overwhelming in their show of affection for one another, but it was a quiet adoration. They loved each other so deeply that they didn’t have to scramble to figure out how to convey it. I was just the fortunate bystander who managed to get caught in their crosshairs. 

I leaned my head back against Jaebum’s collar bones and sighed contently. I thought back to the day this all began. 

Jinyoung had sat me down on this very couch, angling himself on the ottoman before me so our knees knocked. Jaebum paced anxiously behind him, rubbing his chin with his hands as he shot me the occasional nervous smile. 

“I was going to draft a contract, but JB said it would be too creepy,” Jinyoung had sighed, a smile lighting up his face. 

“Contracts…” Jaebum grumbled as he quit his pacing. “How many times did you end up reading Fifty Shades of Gray?”

I smiled goofily as I looked up at my two best friends, completely lost in all of their dramatics. 

“What we’re trying to say is…we’ve both been talking. We both have…really strong feelings for you, Y/N,” Jinyoung continued quietly. Immediately a shiver ran down my spine as I looked at them. Surely they wouldn’t force me to choose between them? Each boy had their merits. Jinyoung was warm, considerate, responsible, and devoted. He enjoyed reading and cooking. Meanwhile Jaebum was insightful, dependable, strong, and steady. He lived and breathed the music he surrounded himself with. They were both dancers, singers, and overall incredibly talented people. 

“And we both want to date you,” Jaebum sighed, cutting through my thoughts. “But the issue is…we’re already dating each other.”

My mouth opened and closed as I tried to process the information being fed to me. What? 

After discussing the logistics for what seemed like hours, we finally came to the decision that we should give each other a chance. All of us. All or nothing. This would be my first polyamorous relationship, but if it were to happen, I’m glad it would be with them. 

That was nearly a year ago now and I couldn’t imagine life as anything different. Of course like any other relationship, we had our difficulties, and of course our difficulties were not the normal for the majority of relationships, but we worked through them. We trusted each other, and loved one another and that was what mattered. 

“What are you smiling about over there?” Jinyoung cooed, rubbing his hands along my legs. 

“Why are you complaining about her smile?” Jaebum chuckled, smacking JInyoung playfully on the arm. “Our jagi is happy.” 

“I see that!” Jinyoung spat. “But I like to know what she’s thinking.”

Jaebum sighed, smiling simply at Jinyoung as he placed his hand on his cheek. Jinyoung nuzzled his face into Jaebum’s palm and kissed the skin there. 

“That, that right there is why I was smiling,” I whispered. 

“Hm?” both boys hummed, their heads snapping to look at me. 

“You two,” I nodded, my voice a little bit louder. “You two are the reason why I smile.”

“Why?” Jaebum chuckled, shaking his head. His hand twitched on my side as he played with the fabric of my shirt. “We’re a pain.”

“Speak for yourself!” Jinyoung said, his smile wide. 

“Nothing worth having has ever been easy Bummie,” I giggled, flicking him in the middle of the chest. “I’m sure I’m just as much of a pain for you guys.”

“Only when you don’t do the dishes, or when you put the toilet paper on facing the wrong way,” Jinyoung nodded, his brows furrowed in thought. “Those are really things I’ve chosen to look over though.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes as he pulled both of us closer. “You two are probably the most worth while pains in my ass I have ever had.”

“Don’t let Jackson hear you say that,” I whispered. “He’d be so hurt.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not looking to pick up another boyfriend anytime soon,” Jaebum smiled. “I have my hands full here.”

“Once again, I don’t understand. I am a literal dream,” Jinyoung said, fluttering his eye lashes. I looked back and forth between the two boys before we all collapsed into a puddle of giggles and limbs. 

“A dream who cheats at Scrabble,” Jaebum hissed, shooting a quick wink my way. 

“It’s not cheating, it is winning aggressively!” Jinyoung gasped, becoming defensive immediately. “Don’t be jealous.”

“How could we be jealous?” I smiled, looking at the boys lovingly. “We have all we want right here. I think taking a loss in scrabble is a fair compromise.” 

Originally posted by wonhoforjackson

queerly-cute  asked:

hey, i'm looking for a fic when dan and phil are both quite old, in their fifties? and they're meeting each other's children, and some of them are ok with them being together and some are upset (dans son makes a comment about it being another notch on his bedpost) in pretty sure i read it on tumblr. thank you guys so much!

Can anyone help find this fic?

- Tori

The Proposal

So since my blog got deleted, over the next few weeks I’ll be reposting most of my old one shots. This one is one of my favorite AUs. Enjoy.

Summary:

An AU based on the movie The Proposal. Killian is the editor in chief at Morrison & Jones Publishing, and Emma is his assistant.

Word Count: ~14k


Emma Swan smiled as she finished the last sentence of her new manuscript. She couldn’t wait to show it to her boss, Killian Jones, the editor in chief of Morrison & Jones Publishing.

Unfortunately, her boss was something of a tyrant. Emma’s parents told her to quit almost daily. She usually worked fifty or sixty hours a week as the assistant of Killian Jones, but she was convinced that all her hard work and dedication would get her a promotion.

Emma’s thoughts were interrupted when her boss poked his head into her tiny office. “Miss Swan, I’m going to need you to work this weekend.”

Emma looked up from her computer. “But I am going home this weekend for my grandmother’s 90th birthday. I cleared it with you weeks ago.”

“You can celebrate her next birthday. I need you here this weekend. This is your job Miss Swan, and it has to come first,” Killian said.

Emma’s computer pinged, indicating that she had received another email.

“Is that your family?” asked Killian.

“Yes,” said Emma.

“Did they tell you to quit?”

“They tell me every day,” said Emma.

“Well, it’s a good thing you can’t say no to your devilishly handsome boss. I’ll need my coffee in twenty minutes.” Then he left before Emma had a chance to respond.

Keep reading

Ay Yi Yi!

Crack Fic – Dean Winchester & Reader with a touch of Sam

Warnings: language, straight up crazy

Word Count: 1,905

A/N: I wrote this for my own Crack Challenge because inspiration hit and I thought why the hay not? So, enjoy my crazy after 11pm brain’s ramblings. And here is what a thrown together crack fic would look like, for all of those who may be wondering ;) I used Prompt #13: What do you mean we have to join a mariachi band?

There are still more prompts left! Send in an ask, lovelies!

Tags are way down below - let me know if you want to be added to anything that I write :)

“So get this,” Sam and I said in unison as we walked into the library.

“Dude,” I said with a smile.

“Nice,” Sam replied. We high fived and then turned back to an eye-rolling Dean. “We made a break on the case,” Sam continued, excitement evident in his voice, “which means I need to run to the store.” He clapped a hand on my shoulder, “Nice work, Y/N. I’ll be back soon.” Sam took off towards the Bunker door, leaving me with Dean and his beer.

“Care to fill me in?” Dean asked, taking a swig from the bottle.

I sat down across from him and rested my elbows on the table so I could settle my head in my hands, “So long story short…we’re joining a mariachi band.”

Keep reading

Tour of Prythian PART 6

—–Nesta—–

Cassian came back to her room with her in the townhouse. Nesta summoned 2 bottles of brandy and 2 tumblers. She poured them each a knuckles length before sitting on her chaise. Again Cassian lifted her legs up, sat, and let her legs fall across his thighs.

C: Well this was some night.

Nesta huffed a laugh
N: It was something.
C: At least the whole Lucien thing will be settled tomorrow.
N: Lucien was never going to happen. He’s not Elain’s type. I say send him back to Vassa, let them rule together on the continent.

Nesta looked side longed at Cassian and shook her empty glass at him. He had the nerve to refill his own first and then hers. Nesta scowled but it turned into a small smile.

C: How do you feel about us tonight? Gotta say we work good together, look good too.
N: I can’t argue with that.

Nesta stared intently into his eyes, and maybe it was the drink or maybe it was the way things had been so smooth and easy with him tonight but she couldn’t look away. Nesta wondered if the world would collapse around her, would she even notice, or would she even care as long as Cassian was there, with her.

N: What do you want and truthfully now, lay it all out there.

—–Nesta & Cassian—–

C: We’re being truthful now.
Nesta nodded

C: Truthfully I want us married and mated. I want us to have a dozen Illyrian younglings flying around Velaris giving the rest of the family hell. I want vacations for just the 2 of us on the Illyrian Steppes, on a boat at sea, or anywhere in between. I want to love you and I want you to love me back. I want to hear you say my name, scream it when I’m inside you. I want you to look at me and become wet. I want to make you want. What about you?

Nesta & Cassian both drained their drinks and refilled their glasses.

N: You want a dozen children?
C: That’s what you took away from me, I just laid my heart on the line.
N: I stopped hearing you at a dozen children.
C: Okay… I would love a dozen children with you. I want to be the father that neither of us ever had.

Nesta blinked away a tear.

C: I never had a mother either Nesta, but I look at you and I know what kind of mother you’d be, good and kind like Rhys’ mother, more disciplined than most or all the other mothers but I can see it, see us with a house full of kids, full of chaos, joy, and love. So much love.

N: Joy? Do you really think a dozen children will bring us joy?
Nesta was smiling though.

How would that feel to have a husband and children? A house full of children. Nesta could picture that life for Elain, a large brood, but herself, they’d give herself and Cassian hell for sure.

N: What if it was just one child? Maybe 2?

Cassian considered
C: I could live with that as long as it’s with you, and what do you want Nesta? Truthfully now.

Nesta refilled their tumblers and thought, she put her head on the back of the chaise and took a long drink of the amber liquor.

N: I also want to be married and mated. I want a house by the sea with a library of my own. I want peace and quite for a few years or fifty (she smiled). I’m not sure I’d be a good mother let alone a great mother but I do want a child. I want to spoil it and give it everything we never had, not material things but love, a stable home, and a real family. A family where a mother & father won’t leave or neglect it, where maybe even happiness could reign in abundance. I want love.

Cassian reached out a hand and took her small hand in his own as they sat there in amiable silence.

C: We could have that Nesta, all you have to do is say yes. Come on Nes, say yes.
N: I told you not to call me that, Cass.

He simply smirked at her.

N: If I say yes, (he grinned) IF, if I say yes would you be willing to wait until after Lucien has left Velaris for me to accept the mating bond? I don’t want our whole mating… experience, I don’t know what you call it, worrying about Elain. Especially if we’re gonna be locked away for weeks.
C: Yes
N: Would you want a wedding?
C: Yes
N: Or just being declared mates by a priestess?
C: Yes
N: Do you have a real opinion or are you just going to keep saying yes?
C: I’m just trying to show you Nesta how easy it is, just say yes

Very slowly Nesta said
N: Just say
C: Yes, he whispered

Nesta just stared and stared at him until Cassian jumped off the seat, nearly knocking Nesta to the ground, and cried out
C: Damn woman, just say yes
N: Okay
C: I’ll take that as a yes.

Nesta nodded her head slowly at first then faster and faster
N: Yes Cassian

Cassian grabbed her up and kissed her deeply and soundly and as they broke apart, both their eyes shining

C: Ring shopping, tomorrow, after breakfast

That made Nesta smile and she gave Cassian a small laugh before she screamed

N: YES!

Making Sinnoh fangames can be tough since most of the tileset is made of those weird 2.5D models that don’t really work when ripped as sprites.
So today I’m having a go at fixing/revamping some furniture!
Ingame bed is on the far left, then we have my redrawn version, and then some Galactic Grunts being silly XD

8

Singing AU-Imagine

OK, so this is technically an imagine, but still, the point stands.

So, I was meant to be working on other writings and this kind of happened by accident. So, um yeah.

Keep reading

1st day of pipabeth!! for the @lgbtqpjo 4k month, this is a first kiss + first date set of headcanons! (they’re a bit rubbish, sorry)

- so their first date was to this cute little diner, with a fifties theme that piper absolutely loved, and the suggestion had been from reyna. annabeth was the one who asked pipes out, and had been quite nervous about it.

- so the diner is all fifties like, with the grease soundtrack playing as they walked in, all neon signs and jukeboxes and milkshakes. they choose the end booth, which is lit by one lightbulb hanging above it, and a red neon sign with ‘hey!’ hanging on the wall.

- piper orders the vegetarian burger with onion rings and a soda, and annabeth the same. they’re giving each other major heart eyes, and piper fiddles nervously with her rings under the table, as annabeth slings a hand over her shoulder

- after they eat, they find out that tonight is the dance night (basically all the couples get up and dance to fifties music). piper insists that they join, and while annabeth protests, piper hauls her onto the dance floor as “you’re the one that i want” starts playing. annabeth is in skinny jeans, and refuses, while piper just says “if sandy can do it in leather pants and high heels you can do it in your chucks.”

- cue piper knowing ALL the dance moves, having watched the movie a million times, and annabeth being mesmerised, because wow, how is she so good at this??

- she’s telling annabeth what to do like a mad lady, singing along, while annabeth looks at her with amazing love in her eyes. she’s so pretty, and annabeth cannot believe that she got a date with her, the beauty queen of camp half blood. heck, she was lucky that chiron was letting them go out on a date, as the restaurant was a mile out.

- piper snatches her out of her thoughts by waving a hand in front of her face, smiling. she cups annabeth’s cheek with a rough hand and pulls her closer, and annabeth can only focus on the fact that piper smells amazing, and then they’re kissing in the middle of the diner, and it is so perfect

Essays in Existentialism: The Subway III

I need more of the love from THE SUBWAY! please and thank ya. :D

Previously on The Subway

There was not a good day for such things. A year seemed like a long time, but the anniversary felt too formal. People died. The whoosh of the train speeding into the station sent hair and papers fluttering.

The smell of a subway station is a constant moment in the past. The air that trails it is from blocks away, hurrying to keep up with the inhabitants. The oil on tracks and on cars is gentle and hearty. The smell of dirty mops and pushed around water mingles with the way people huff and excuse each other.

It was the noises that Clarke used to love. The ding of the arrival, the suction sound of the train slurring past, the mind your step voice that mothered the travellers inside, no matter who you were.

It was all something else, now.

Keep reading

okay but fake ah crew boys at the beach:

ray flat out doesn’t want to go, and instead of understanding that and letting him stay home, michael and gavin wrestle him into the car and hold him down in the back seat while he repeatedly hollers, “I AM BEING KIDNAPPED” out the open window (and, jesus, los santos pedestrians really could not give less of a fuck, that’s insulting)

the second they get there michael and gavin immediately race for the water, and geoff has to snag michael by the arm and drag him protesting back to the towels, “you’re putting on sunscreen, you are like two shades away from skim milk, it’ll take four goddamn minutes”

and geoff spends like the whole time sitting on a towel with a book until jack comes over saying, “hey, come get in the water for a while, it’s nice,” and geoff shuts him down like, “nope, not happening,” so jack sighs and ducks down, lifts geoff off the ground, and tosses him over his shoulder, at which point geoff is laughing at first like, “c'mon, no, cut it out” but quickly progresses to a panicked, “no, no, i don’t want to go in the water, i don’t, i swear to god, jack, jack– [high-pitched screaming]”

ray staunchly refuses to emerge from under the umbrella and doesn’t quite sulk for the first hour (because, wow, i was literally fifty points away from the last achievement in halo reach, thanks a lot, assholes), but then ryan shows up in swim trunks and his fucking skull mask and ray laughs so hard he cries.

Dear JK Rowling,

(**warning: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them spoilers***)

When I was little I read Harry Potter for the first time. I can’t tell you what it meant to me on so many levels, but there was one particular thing that resonated. Harry was a boy who got locked in his room, who got shouted at, who was crushed down and made to feel unwelcome and even, sometimes, unsafe in his own home.

And he got to go to magic school. He survived those dreaded Dursleys. More than that, he triumphed. Reading about it was like having a hand to hold. 

It occurred to me, for the first time, that being shouted at and bullied at home as a kid didn’t have to mean you were doomed to be sad forever, because one day your life would be so full of other things - good and bad - that the past would barely feature in your life. The Dursleys were largely so, so irrelevant. It was great.

And now I come out of seeing Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and I am so hurt and confused. Because in Credence, you created a character that would resonate with so many people who are sad, people who are bullied, people who are forced to hide who they truly are even from those closest to them. You have undoubtedly touched some of the most emotionally vulnerable people in the world with an astoundingly good visual metaphor - a character whom the scared and the lost could easily connect to.

And then you let him die. No, in fact - you killed him.

He went without a word. He was sad and terrified, right til the end. Throughout the story, it would have taken so little to try to help him. Tina, knowing about his predicament, apparently only tracked his family following her demotion - was he not worth the risk of grabbing his wrist and disapparating with him to a safe place, an orphanage? Was he not even worth the attempt? And when the MACUSA wizards were firing their killing blows, was he not even worth an attempted protego? Useless it may have been, but God, if he had to die, show me that that abused and terrified kid was worth every gut-wrenching fruitless bloody try. 

Please, JK. I love your work. I love so much of it. But please, if you’re going to tell me a story about an abused kid, and if you really have to kill him off, please give him the slow-motion shots and the tears and the last words, give him the send-off, tell me why it has to happen, tell me how the main characters are hurt by it, tell me how they’re going to try to make it better. Please don’t give all those things instead to a man being obliviated by rain, whose amnesia is hinted to have been reversed anyway at the end.

If you’re going to do it, you’ve got to do it right. Abused people are not your emotional fodder or your plot devices. They aren’t doomed to die. Their anger and their sadness won’t inevitably lead to their fatal self-destruction. They deserve to be given reasons to hope. And they deserve to see themselves being worth every single effort to help them.