not open access

Making Fabric Poppets

I want to teach you all how I make my fabric poppets, and how you can make your own too. Here is my post detailing all of what I do to make my adorable plush fabric poppets.

I also sell them if making them yourself is too much fuss for any reason. Here are details.

——Supplies——

- Fabric of your choice- My fabric of choice is fleece. The fabric should be a color you can match with your intent, personality, etc.

- Person-shaped pattern to trace- You can use a gingerbread man cookie cutter to make your paper pattern, free hand, or if you like you can use mine which I will gladly sell you a copy of- message me for details.

- Needle and thread- You can use different thread colors for different intentions.

- Stuffing and any extras- herbs, objects, etc.

- A marker of a similar but darker color than the fabric

- Scissors


-Step 1-

Lay out your fabric. Lay down the poppet pattern on the fabric. I prefer to weight them down with rocks so they don’t shift. (You can of course choose rocks that match your intent.)

-Step 1.5-

I then trace the patter with a maker that is of a similar color to the fabric, but off enough that I can see it. Don’t worry about being super clean with your lines because they will be hidden in the inside seams.

-Step 2-

Next, to sew the pieces together. Place them together so that the side with the marker line faces out.

Then, grab your needle and thread. Thread your needle.

Be sure to have a piece of thread to work with that is about as long as your arm. This should be enough for the whole poppet, but make sure to have more on hand just in case.

-Step 3-

Start your sewing in the place where the opening will end later. I typically choose the “armpit” of the poppet because then the opening gives me great access to all of its insides for later.

I use a kind of slip stitch for sewing. Really any stitch will do, but I will show you mine. I put the needle all the way through both pieces of fabric to make a loop, and before tightening I stick the needle through the loop, then tighten. This makes a kind of knot that is durable and nice looking. Here’s a picture:

Aside- Why I hand sew- I find the process of hand sewing to be not only relaxing but also more magical. I can focus on my intentions while I sew, and with each stitch I’m fastening my energy into it. This is by no means the only way you can sew them together, but it is my personal preferred way.

 Continue sewing around to join the two pieces of fabric. **Remember to leave a 1.5in opening! Also leave your thread attached!** This is the only way to turn it inside out and hide the seams.

- Step 4-

Turn it inside-out. Reach inside and grab the top of the poppet’s head and pull it through the hole like shown. You may need to poke around a bit to make sure everything is fully turned right-side-out.

-Step 5- Once right-side-out, your poppet is ready for stuffing. Start with the appendages first, that way you can make sure they are well-fluffed. After that, if you want add in balls of stuffing in the places of major organs to make it more human. (A ball for a brain, a ball for a stomach, that kind of thing)

If you like, add in herbs or objects for your intent, or keys to link the poppet with the person that you’re targeting. Consider positions of the objects and herbs inside the poppet and the significance. I added rose petals in the head and heart of this one, and mint and rosemary in the stomach. That gives it some symbolism, and what witch doesn’t enjoy symbolism?

-Step 6- When it is stuffed to satisfaction, sew up the opening with the same stitch we sewed with before flipping it. This leaves a rough edge, and I actually like it that way. It makes it easier to cut open the stitching if you ever wanted to for any reason. I can’t be the only person that’s wanted to rip someone’s stuffing out (there’s a curse idea) so I hope you find it useful too.

Do a couple more stitches to assure your thread isn’t going anywhere and then cut it off.

Ta-da! A perfect poppet for all of your witchcraft needs.

Happy crafting! 

 - Max the Death Witch

Aaron Swartz’s “Guerilla Open Access Manifesto”

Information is power. But like all power, there are those who want to keep it for themselves. The world’s entire scientific and cultural heritage, published over centuries in books and journals, is increasingly being digitized and locked up by a handful of private corporations. Want to read the papers featuring the most famous results of the sciences? You’ll need to send enormous amounts to publishers like Reed Elsevier. 

There are those struggling to change this. The Open Access Movement has fought valiantly to ensure that scientists do not sign their copyrights away but instead ensure their work is published on the Internet, under terms that allow anyone to access it. But even under the best scenarios, their work will only apply to things published in the future. Everything up until now will have been lost.

That is too high a price to pay. Forcing academics to pay money to read the work of their colleagues? Scanning entire libraries but only allowing the folks at Google to read them? Providing scientific articles to those at elite universities in the First World, but not to children in the Global South? It’s outrageous and unacceptable.

“I agree,” many say, “but what can we do? The companies hold the copyrights, they make enormous amounts of money by charging for access, and it’s perfectly legal — there’s nothing we can do to stop them.” But there is something we can, something that’s already being done: we can fight back.

Those with access to these resources — students, librarians, scientists — you have been given a privilege. You get to feed at this banquet of knowledge while the rest of the world is locked out. But you need not — indeed, morally, you cannot — keep this privilege for yourselves. You have a duty to share it with the world. And you have: trading passwords with colleagues, filling download requests for friends.

Meanwhile, those who have been locked out are not standing idly by. You have been sneaking through holes and climbing over fences, liberating the information locked up by the publishers and sharing them with your friends.

But all of this action goes on in the dark, hidden underground. It’s called stealing or piracy, as if sharing a wealth of knowledge were the moral equivalent of plundering a ship and murdering its crew. But sharing isn’t immoral — it’s a moral imperative. Only those blinded by greed would refuse to let a friend make a copy.

Large corporations, of course, are blinded by greed. The laws under which they operate require it — their shareholders would revolt at anything less. And the politicians they have bought off back them, passing laws giving them the exclusive power to decide who can make copies.

There is no justice in following unjust laws. It’s time to come into the light and, in the grand tradition of civil disobedience, declare our opposition to this private theft of public culture.

We need to take information, wherever it is stored, make our copies and share them with the world. We need to take stuff that’s out of copyright and add it to the archive. We need to buy secret databases and put them on the Web. We need to download scientific journals and upload them to file sharing networks. We need to fight for Guerilla Open Access. 


With enough of us, around the world, we’ll not just send a strong message opposing the privatization of knowledge — we’ll make it a thing of the past. Will you join us?

Aaron Swartz

July 2008, Eremo, Italy

The Hidden Figures effect: inspiring a new generation of women

After its initial release, the inspirational effect of Hidden Figures is still being felt around the world. “I just loved it,” says 18-year-old June Eric-Udorie, a UK-based student and campaigner. “I left the cinema and thought: ‘There has to be a way that I can open up access [to the film].’”

Inspired, Eric-Udorie set to work planning how to show more people the film. “I’d read about [Hidden Figures star] Octavia Spencer buying out a cinema and offering it to single-parent families and thought: ‘Well, I can’t buy out an entire cinema, because I don’t have that kind of money, but I can take two or three girls with me.’” She tweeted her intentions and an initially modest plan began to snowball. “I came back at the end of the day and there was £1,000 in my PayPal account.”

Eric-Udorie eventually raised enough money to put on a free screening in east London’s Genesis cinema for about 500 schoolgirls from low-income backgrounds. “There was also a panel of women of colour working in Stem [science, technology, engineering and maths], and every single girl who attended got a copy of the original book by Margot Lee Shetterly,” she says. “One girl said it was the first book she’d read in several years.”

A small tip for all you Splatoon artists out there!

You know the things attached to the Inklings’ hats in Salmon Run? I’ve seen them depicted as everything from sponges and towels to flotation devices and MRE-style instant meals.

While that last one is the closest, they’re actually meant to represent your special weapons! I’m not sure whether they’re supposed to be edible (the specials in the single-player campaign are depicted as coming in small tins, so who knows), but in any case, you’re probably meant to rip the packets open for instant access to your special weapon.

As a nice detail, when you use your specials, the packets actually disappear from your hat one at a time.

If you want to draw an Inkling in a dire situation, it’s probably best not to show them having both packets available. I’ve also yet to see any art of an Inkling doing something cool like ripping the packet open with their teeth…

Just a suggestion! :D

I know I’ve been relatively inactive recently because of school pressure, and one of those school pressures was a 20-minute presentation on sapphic women in the victorian era. Would anyone be interested if I posted the presentation and my notes? It’s a lot of material, and I know I try to keep this blog mostly aesthetic, not pictures, but I thought it was really interesting and yall might think so too

theverge.com
Trump’s new FCC chief is Ajit Pai, and he wants to destroy net neutrality
Donald Trump has elevated Ajit Pai to chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, giving control over the agency to a reliable conservative who’s been opposed to pretty much every big action...
By Jacob Kastrenakes

Just in case y’all needed any more reasons to loathe and despise Donald Trump, he just appointed an FCC chief who is expressly anti-net-neutrality and gives zero shits about the potential of cable companies merging to form a monopoly over both TV and internet.

Best hope social media and regular media/news sites are in the first/basic tier of internet packages, because that’s what’s coming without net neutrality: cable companies will prioritize traffic to certain websites, and websites will have to pay more to make their site prioritized, and we will probably be sold the internet in much the same way we are sold television: in packages and tiers of channels, based on how much you’re willing to pay. Imagine a world where you paying your cable bill no longer gets you access to an open internet, but rather, you must pay extra to get access to certain levels of information on the internet. Imagine people with less money getting a smaller internet, with less information and less access. Because that could be what’s coming.

I will fight, tooth and nail, against this fuckery. Not in my lifetime. Not in my country. Access to information is a right. An open, accessible internet is not something we can compromise on. Net neutrality is a must.

Can I Be Her || Tom Holland Oneshot (Alternate Ending)

Request: Anonymous asked: Can I please get an imagine where the reader is best friends with Tom and Harrison but loves Tom. The reader is witnessing Tom fall in love with Zendaya and tries to forget about Tom but can’t. In the end, Tom ends up having a serious relationship with Zendaya and Tom and the reader fall apart. You can decide the end but I want it to be a sad ending. I’m sorry if it’s complicated or just plain stupid. Thank you.

Warnings: Sad, happy ending!

Word Count: 1,655

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: Enjoy! Only difference is the ending lol. This is not part two by the way!

~Masterlist~


You didn’t think this would happen. You were falling for Tom, hard. At first you thought nothing of it, but once you got to know him, the real him, you were in a trance. You developed a love for Tom, it was completely indescribable. You never told anyone, not even Harrison, knowing he’d never keep his mouth shut. He’d spill everything to Tom, and you couldn’t bare let your affection for him to get in the way of your friendship.

Keep reading

maybe instead of saying “empty houses” we can refer to them as “open houses” 

There is something about the word empty that suggests an absence, hollowness, blockage, whereas there is something about the word open that indicates opportunity, access, and passageway

Open houses are not empty because they all have a sign on the house cusp. Through that sign on the cusp you find the house’s planetary ruler, such as Leo on the 4th house cusp. Leo is ruled by the sun, and so this means the ruler of the 4th house is the sun. 

You would then find the sun in the chart, lets say it is in the 9th. “Ruler of the 4th house is in the 9th house,” the home life and upbringing (4th) may have directly affected the beliefs & philosophies this person identifies with, maybe this person feels “at home” when they travel and experience (9th).

It doesn’t end here, there are also aspects to this sun, which then would point to other planets in other houses, bringing it all together to form more interpretations and insight.

It is synthesization. Synthesis is the ‘opportunity/access/passageway’ in this sense, that everything is connected & works together; one thing in the chart points to another thing, which points to another thing, and so on. The natal chart is a circle; the symbolism of a circle has many meanings, but can be seen in this scenario as wholeness & completion and infinity, an endless amount of possibilities. 

Nothing is ‘empty’ in the natal chart

Pool Fun: Part 2 (Peter Parker x reader)

Hello babes! I hope your day is going well. So, by popular demand, I’ve decided to do a smutty part two to this fic. I honestly didn’t know that you guys would like it that much, haha. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! I love you guys, you’re all amazing. xoxo

Description: You just left Peter out by the pool abruptly after a hot make out session and hint at him to come to your room to finish the fun you were having. 

Warnings: SMUT. 

Pool Fun: Part 1

MASTERLIST


You sauntered up the stairs, looking for Peter in your peripheral vision. He was still sitting at the edge of the pool, gaping at you. 

I guess he didn’t take the hint. Jesus Christ, Peter. You thought to yourself, stopping on the small landing between the two flights of stairs, turning to face Peter. He could clearly see you through the glass wall as you extended your index finger at him, curling it back to you, beckoning him to follow. Peter scrambled out of the pool, grabbing his towel, quickly drying off. 

As you watched him from above, you couldn’t help but crack a smile through your devious smirk as you saw Peter almost fall face first into the stone around the pool as he got up. You quickly slipped the rest of the way upstairs, trying to keep up your seductive and mysterious act. 

Peter looked back up at where you were when he finished drying off his board shorts, finding that you had disappeared. He wrapped his towel around his waist and returned to the tower, following your route upstairs. A trail of water droplets led down the hallway, and he figured it was from your wet hair. It led all the way to your room where your door was slightly open. He stopped in front of it, taking a deep breath, trying to calm his arousal for you. 

“Come on Peter, don’t just stand there.” You could see the shadow of his feet from underneath the door, and you crossed your arms over your chest, the corner of your mouth pulling up into a smirk. The door opened slowly, and he stepped inside, closing it behind him. You bit your lip as you scanned over his still wet body, watching the water droplets fall down his toned chest. 

While you were off in a daze, Peter had began to walk towards you, watching all the water from your hair dribbled down in between your breasts. He pushed you against the wall that was a few feet behind you, colliding his lips with yours in pure lust. You threaded your fingers in his damp hair that was behind his head while he gripped your hips, surely leaving a bruise there to see the next morning. You moaned against his lips as he moved one hand up to your breast, kneading in roughly through your bikini top. 

“Take it off of me already, damn it.” You breathed against his lips, biting his bottom one, and tugging on it lightly. In no time, your top was literally ripped in half, laying on the floor. You gasped as he lifted you against the wall, wrapping your legs around his torso. 

“Jesus, F/N. You’re perfect.” Peter locked eyes with you before diving into your neck, sucking hard on your skin. You moaned underneath his touch, his hickeys leaving a trail to your breasts. Without warning, he latched on to one of your nipples, biting and tugging at it as he rolled the other in between his fingers. 

“Fuck…” You moaned loudly, filling the room. He carried you to the bed, letting you fall onto the mattress. His eyes were completely dilated with lust as he threw his shorts across the room, leaving you to stare at his hard erection. God, you wanted him inside you. You’ve wanted him for a long time now. He hovered over you, leaning down to kiss your swollen lips. He groaned, as you rubbed his length, his open mouth giving you access to explore his mouth with your tongue. You swiped it across his bottom lip, entering. His erection was throbbing in your hand, and you let go, not giving him his release. He growled in his throat, biting your collarbone. He was sure to leave marks on your body, so that everyone would know what he did. 

He threw your bikini bottoms across the room, positioning his the head of his cock at your entrance, swiping it along your wet folds. You moaned, your throbbing core unable to take the build up anymore. He pushed himself into you, the feeling of your tight walls around him, making his head throw back. Peter gave you time to adjust, and when you gave him the okay to move, he began thrusting in and out of you at a steady pace. Both of you said each other’s names like your life depended on it, the euphoria rushing through your bodies. He quickened his pace, beginning to hit your g-spot. You screamed out, clawing at his back. The line on which your orgasm was walking on was thinning out. You were approaching your release. 

“Shit.. Peter.. I-I’m gonna-” You were cut off by his interjecting voice. 

“I know, m-me too.” He knew exactly what you were saying. You felt his length twitch inside of you. You chanted his name like a prayer as your orgasm washed over you, all the way to your throbbing core. He followed close behind, filling you with his hot, white cum. 

As both of you came down from your highs, he pulled out, collapsing next to you. You both were breathless as you laid on your backs, staring up at the ceiling. 

“That was..” You chuckled out, turning your head towards Peter. 

“Yeah, like amazing.” He smiled at you, kissing you on the forehead. You cuddled up next to him, his arm wrapping around your body. 

“We should do this again sometime, Parker. We really should.”


Ahhh I hoped you liked it! I hope you day goes well and that you have some good food, Because who doesn’t love to have some good food? Anywho, let me know what you think, yeah? I love you all, xoxo.

TAGLIST IS OPEN.

Taglist:

@barely-emily @purplekitten30 @mcfuccfairy @fandomlover2001 @elegantnightmareshiro @buckysplumfondler @arabellaaurorabarnes @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @badassbaker @life-is-fuucked @elwenia @justmasblack @addictionmarvel

BABY CORALS NEEDS HEALTHY CORAL REEF TO SETTLE.

Coral reefs and crevices create complex underwater structures. When turbulence is generated by these hard structures, it creates eddies that catch the coral larvae. Because coral larvae are poor swimmer, and are not able to suitable settlement sites on their own, depend on the structures that help shape these eddies, otherwise they are basically lost at sea, with no chance to settle and grow up. 

Nowadays, coral reefs around the globe suffer from repeated environmental disturbances, which are only compounded with climate change. According to coral reef experts, maintaining structural complexity of scales on reefs is vitally important in terms of aiding reef recovery. Relevant management actions include limiting factors that reduce complexity, such as destructive fishing practices, and promoting factors that enhance complexity, as algae-eating fish to the area to prevent algae from growing and smothering corals. 

color you mine pt.2- pjm(m)

Originally posted by sugaglos

Living next door to your teacher has its perks… 

(m)- mature | 2.5k words | Teacher!Jimin | Pt.1 / ??

reqs] Jimin smut? With like daddy Dom or like rough stuff please [+] Can you please write about jimin teaching you how to deep throat him? [+] Jimin thigh riding smut no specific plot [+] all of those who requested a second CYM

a/n]  it has been a long time coming,,,hope you enjoy;)  


You’d never been so nervous in your life, knocking on Mr. Park’s door at seven o'clock sharp, not wanting to seem too eager even though you’d been waiting outside his door for nearly fifteen minutes. You told your roommates you were going to another friend’s down the street, hiding behind Mr. Park’s bushes so they couldn’t see as you waited for the time to come.

Beneath your clothes are two lacy black lingerie pieces, not covering anything, just for show, just to hopefully get him as excited as you are, dripping through the barely existent fabric of your panties. Thank god your friend dared you to buy lingerie a few months back, or you’d still be inside not knowing what to wear to this most special occasion.

He opens the door shirtless, smooth skin and defined muscle running below the elastic of his sweats, smiling sweetly and opening the door wider to let you in. “How was your evening, Y/N?” The foyer darkens behind you as he closes the door, “finished the reading I assigned?”

“Yes, Mr. Park,” you try to calm your nerves, picking at the skin around your nails behind your back, “it didn’t take me more than an hour.”

“Then I guess it was too easy,” he laughs, moving in front of you and waiting for you to follow. His house is dimly lit, the only light coming from the open windows in his living room. Leather couches, family photos, abstract art and shelves with books haphazardly sitting on them. His house looked just as you thought it would. So him, somehow.

“Would you like some water?” He moves to the fridge and drinks from a glass already set out, watching you set your bag down and sit in the bar stool across the island.

“Yes, thank you, the walk over here was so far,” you sarcastically joke.  

He chuckles, scrunching his nose and grabbing another tall glass from the cupboard before filling it with water from the fridge, sliding it across the counter cleanly and gracefully.  

“I have a few surprises in store…” He begins with a smirk.

Keep reading

His Throne [JJK] | 02

Genre: smut, angst, fluff ending

Word Count: 6,840

Tags: degradation, praise, fingering, face riding, dom!Jungkook, prince!Jungkook, infidelity, kinda exhibitionism

Parts: 01 | 02 | 03

Other member vers: Hoseok | Yoongi | Taehyung | Namjoon | Jimin | Seokjin


I love you.

You wished you hadn’t said it.

But more importantly you wished he had.

Keep reading

WIP HAIRBASE for attention lol & RANT

Hey hey hey~ (it’s not about patreon, chill)
Making cc for you makes me genuinely happy. Once in a while, some people ask for permission to use it in their own creations (recolors, mashups, w/e) and share publicly. They don’t receive consent. My Terms of Use are strict, may be frowned upon, yet they give me a sense of security and were carefully thought out. So when someone violates them, my fragile ego calls taxi and leaves town anger takes over me. 

Please don’t take cc creators’ generosity for granted. If you wanna use somebody else’s creations and save yourself days/weeks/months of work (plus years of learning and, yeah, a certain amount of money invested in the process), then make that extra effort to read Terms of Use and be polite to ask us directly if we would do you a favor. Still, we have every right to refuse to grant your request, for any possible reason. Our content is not a colouring book free to use however you want just because we provide open access to it. 
Sorrynotsorry.
*drops mic*

*picks it up*
Monetizing a ripped off item is really low btw, same applies to “not noticing TOU” when $$$ are involved. Ignorant thus innocent?? Ahem. No.

Can I Be Her - Tom Holland Oneshot

Request: Anonymous asked: Can I please get an imagine where the reader is best friends with Tom and Harrison but loves Tom. The reader is witnessing Tom fall in love with Zendaya and tries to forget about Tom but can’t. In the end, Tom ends up having a serious relationship with Zendaya and Tom and the reader fall apart. You can decide the end but I want it to be a sad ending. I’m sorry if it’s complicated or just plain stupid. Thank you.

Warnings: Sad, heart breaking

Word Count: 1,494

Pairing: Tom Holland x Zendaya

A/N: Based on the song by James Arthur - Can I Be Him but instead of his perspective it’d be the reader’s P.O.V. 

This felt so real I almost cried!

~Masterlist~


You didn’t think this would happen. You were falling for Tom, hard. At first you thought nothing of it, but once you got to know him, the real him, you were in a trance. You developed a love for Tom, it was completely indescribable. You never told anyone, not even Harrison, knowing he’d never keep his mouth shut. He’d spill everything to Tom, and you couldn’t bare let your affection for him to get in the way of your friendship. 

Tom was special. He was charming, kind, confident. He had lots of good qualities and a great personality. Who wouldn’t fall for him. Tom also seemed to be paired with Zendaya a lot lately. In magazines and articles, reporter kept saying how they were a thing. Those two hit it off from the very start. They created a very close friendship. You felt a little jealous because you felt that she had more to offer to Tom. And you happened to consider yourself a decent person, but it would never be enough for Tom. But you reminded yourself that you had nothing to worry about or so you thought.

“Hey Y/N Zendaya invited us to her house would you like to join us?” You looked up to meet his brown eyes. He was showing the most heartwarming smile.

“Um…Sure who’s all going to be there?” You slowly stood up from his couch.

“Everyone! Jacob, Harrison, Laura, the whole gang” He smiled brightly at you.

“Great. Let’s go then” You gestured to the door.

“Ladies first” You teased.

He playfully rolled his eyes but walked ahead of you.

The ride to her house was a comfortable silence, but felt as though someone should have spoken up first.

“We’re here” Tom unbuckled his seat belt and didn’t bother to wait for you, already practically in the enormous house. Another thing you couldn’t show off.

You knocked on her front door. Unlike Tom who just burst in, you knocked like the well mannered girl your parents raised you to be. Not a second later the door swung open to reveal a happy Zendaya.

“Y/N the door was open silly. Come on in!” She chuckled softly. 

You walked in and were greeted by everyone. A few “Hey’s” and “Where were yous” were thrown your way.

“Oh I was…outside” You pointed your thumb behind you.

“Doing what?” Jacob spoke up.

“Getting left behind” You mumbled. Thankfully no one heard you.

“What was that?” Harrison looked confused.

“Uh nothing. So what’re we doing?” You clasped your hands together.

“We could swim in the pool out back” Zendaya suggested.

“Yeah!”

I’m down”

“Let’s go”

“I’m in”

“I’d love to but I’m not in the proper swim-wear” You gestured to your jeans and t-shirt.

“I think I may have something for you to wear Y/N, come on” Zendaya grabbed your hand and dragged you to her bedroom.

You saw her rummaged threw her stuff.

“Ah ha. Here you go. The bathrooms down the hall to your left” She smiled at you sweetly. 

Why did she have to be so nice. It was seriously impossible to hate her. There wasn’t anything bad you could say about her.

You quickly changed into the bikini top and bottoms. You gazed at your reflection picking out all your flaws. The bikini didn’t do you as justice like it did on Zendaya. Whereas she was skinny and tall, you were curvy, not that it was a bad thing, but always had a problem with your image. You couldn’t compete with her.

By the time you arrived outside everyone was doing their own thing. Tom and the boys were playing a game with a football, while Zendaya and Laura were tanning on chairs. You found yourself deep in thought thinking how did you fit in with these people. They were well-known and popular in life whereas the guy at Starbucks couldn’t even get your name correct. How did you managed to get yourself involved with them.


As months went by you slowly started seeing a change in Tom. He was always hanging out with Zendaya more often than usual, practically blowing off your hangouts to spend time with her. You were losing him, and fast. Your chance of ever being with him was starting to become a long-shot, and if you didn’t make a move he would be a goner. He’d be with Zendaya.

“Harrison I don’t think this is such a good idea” You protested. You finally gave in and told Harrison about your feelings for Tom. Since he was his best friend, Harrison suggested that you’d just tell Tom how you felt, that way you could see if he felt the same way.

“No don’t do that. You’re not backing out of this now” He shook his head.

“But what if he doesn’t like me” You stared at your feet.

“Your his best friend, you two have a wonder friendship, there’s no way he could reject you” He placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“Okay” You sighed.

“You got this” He gave a slight push to his trailer.

“I got this” You recited back to yourself until you reached his door. 

You mentally prepared yourself for better or for worse. You knocked slightly on his door but got no response. Strange he just finished shooting today. You thought. You tried again but got no answer. You opted for option two. You tried opening his door. It opened immediately granting you access inside his trailer. You cautiously stepped in looking around and not finding him anywhere. You checked the last place you knew for sure that you’d find him. You walked up to his bedroom and heard music coming from the room. You grew curiously and turned the knob, which you now regret doing so.

You gaped at the sight of Tom and Zendaya in a full out make out session. You gasped which finally got both of their attention. Tom noticed you first and his eyes bulged out widely from their sockets. He pulled away from Zendaya.

“Y-Y/N?!”

Zendaya didn’t even have the courage to meet your gaze.

“I-It’s not what it looks like!” He flailed his arms in a “no” motion.

“Really?!” You looked at him incredulously shocked. “I can’t do do this right now…” You whispered. You exited his trailer with fast paced steps.

“Y/N!” You heard Tom shout after you. You ignored him and continued walking to your car.

“Y/N stop!” Tom got a hold of your forearm preventing you from going any farther.

“Let. Go. Of. Me!” You said sternly.

“No not until you tell me what’s wrong!”.

“Oh now you care?!” You scoffed.

“Of course I care. I’m your best friend” He looked stunned.

“You haven’t exactly been acting like one” You mumbled averting your gaze any else.

“What?” He asked.

“You heard me” You pulled your arm out of his grip

“Why are you being like this?!” He raised his voice.

“Because she took you from me!” You cried out.

“Who? Zendaya? She hasn’t taken me from anybody Y/N, I’m not her property!” He shook his head. “I’m no ones property”

“She took what we had” You whispered.

“What we had? What’re you going on about?” 

“You two became closer and started hanging out more. You kept ditching me for her. I lost you to her” You sniffled.

“You didn’t lose me Y/N” He hugged you.

“I think I already have…” Your voice was muffled by his shirt.

“What makes you think that?” He looked down at you.

“Because you gave her your love” You whispered. You felt him pull back. 

“Y/N?” He hesitated.

You finally looked him in the eye and let it all out. “I fell for you Tom. I fell in too deep. I wanted to deny it, but I always kept coming back to you. Then you got closer to Zendaya, and I blew my chance. And when I saw you kissing her I j-just couldn’t watch”. You didn’t realize you shed a few tears through your confession.

“Y/N-” He started.

“No it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I get it. You love her. She’s the perfect girl for you. You deserve someone as great as her Tom” You faked the best smile you could muster.

“I’m sorry” Was all he could say.

“It’s okay” You said. Tom turned around and began walking.

“Just tell me one thing?” Your voice stopped him in his tracks

He turned his head. His saddened eyes stared back at yours. “Anything”.

“Did you even feel the slightest thing for me?” You just had to know.

“No. It’s always been Zendaya” His simply said, he turned around and retreated back to her.

Part 2


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beannboy  asked:

WHY DID IT MAKE IT ONLY 100X THAT MADE MINE 300X BETTER ARE YOU CRAZY MISTER (you better be taking good care of yourself love youu)

Hahah it really did tho! It was such a good affirmation to keep my videos open and accessible for all audiences. I hope to continue bringing new topics into the vlogs! Also, I’m doing better and taking care of myself and I hope you are taking care of yourself too, you precious human!