17 things you do day instead of watching the inauguration:
1. Smear a dollop of paint in the middle of your bedroom wall. Watch it dry.
2. Fill a large pot with water. Place it on the stovetop and set the burner to “medium.” Watch until it boils. Let cool. Dump the water on your head. Repeat.
3. Fill a bowl with Grape-Nuts cereal, then pour milk over it. Wait until the milk soaks through the cereal and turns it into a coagulated, vomit-like stew.
4. Find a vacuum cleaner and plug it in. Turn the vacuum on. Listen closely until Trump’s swearing-in ceremony is over.
5. Borrow a leaf blower. Turn it on. Aim it directly at your face. Hold steady until your skin is entirely dry and your cheeks, lips and eyelids are chapped.
6. Eat a can of cold Lima beans with extra water.
7. Re-watch Crash (2004).
8. Dump every item of clothing you own on the floor of your home, in as many different rooms as possible. Pick up and fold each item using only your toes. Place each item back into its proper drawer or closet, using only your teeth.
9. Fill a bathtub with ice cold water. Submerge your entire body as quickly as possible and don’t move.
10. Re-watch George W. Bush’s inauguration ceremony.
11. Stand in line at your local department of motor vehicles.
12. Same as the above, but at the nearest post office.
13. Reflect on all the artists and celebrities we lost in 2016, and those we will inevitably lose in 2017, 2018, 2019 and so on.
14. Imagine wearing a necktie as wide as Steve Harvey’s.
15. Re-write the Wikipedia page of DJ Ravidrums, the drummer with the mohawk who performed at Trump’s inauguration concert.
16. Enjoy — if you can — drinking clean water from your faucet before Scott Pruitt starts letting oil companies pump fracking runoff directly into your pipes.
"Oh my goodness I am so sorry! Some times I trip over thin air, it's a nasty habit." Reader X Bucky. I'm so glad you have off! I know how nice it is ti get a break! Hope your weekend is as wonderful as you!
Bucky laughed softly, helping you back on your feet. “That’s okay, doll. You tripping is always a good excuse for me to catch you.”
You were stunned at his words, not pulling away from his hold on your waist. He continued to smile at you.
Before you could stop yourself, the words escaped your lips. “Are you flirting with me, Bucky Barnes?”
He laughed, clearly surprised by your retort. Yet he still assented. “Yes, absolutely. I am.”
You grinned at this, sliding your hands up his forearms until you were resting them on his broad shoulders. Bucky hummed softly and let you pull him closer until your foreheads bumped together. You laughed together for a few seconds.
And just as naturally as breathing, your mouths came together in a soft, slow kiss.
Not a perfect relationship ~ Min Yoongi [Smut/Angst]
Group: BTS Member: Min Yoongi Type: Smut/Angst Word Count: 3.334
out the window. The sky is tar-black and the large clouds are moving towards
you. You hear a tapping noise on the window and then it becomes a
pitter-patter. People run for cover outside and umbrellas are opened as the
clouds spat out their beds of water.
You nervously fumble with your fingernail, constantly biting onto your lower
lip. You turn your head away from the gloomy day, keeping your eyes fixated on
the tiles underneath your feet.
“Let’s break up.” You whisper at the ground, feeling your eyes tear up.
“What?” Yoongi asks loudly, the confusion in his voice making you lift up your
head. His eyes are widely open, his mouth trembling, his eyes locking with
“Let’s end what we had.” You repeat, the edges of your lips curving into a
smile. The last smile you’re able to give to him without feeling your heart
break into pieces. “Why?” Yoongi whispers back at you, his voice trembling as
he speaks. He takes your hand into his big ones, circling the back of your hand
with his thumb. “Why so suddenly?”
You take in a deep breath and shut your eyes to control your emotions from
spilling out all at once. The smile on your face hiding the tears in your eyes.
“This relationship isn’t good for any of us, Yoongi. It’s making us sick. You’re
living the life you’ve always dreamed of while I’m still trying to find my
place in this world.” You answer, gently pulling your hand out of his. Tears
start running down your flushed cheeks and you quickly wipe them away before
he’s able to notice. “I guess this is goodbye now.” You say to him before
turning around and walking through the door, letting your tears run.
“Real feelings don’t just go away!” Yoongi screams after you, his voice had a
gloom to it that matches exactly how you feel.
A smile tugs on the edge of your lips by his words, nodding gently before
turning around to him and saying the one thing you thought you never had to say
to him, “I guess my feelings were never real for you then.”
Your body disappears in the rain, the million tiny droplets soaking your pink
jacket. You let out a frustrating sob, running your hand through your hair.
You’re frustrated with yourself for letting him go so easily. For not fighting
for the only person who could’ve ever made you feel loved. You start missing
him more the further away you get from his apartment, the further away you walk
from the memory of your relationship. How badly you want to turn around and run
into his arms and tell him that you never wanted to leave him, but something
inside of you tells you that you can’t, for his sake.
You wipe the tears away with the sleeve of your jacket, kicking a brown leave
with your foot. Trees are shedding themselves from the last remains of summer,
quickly moving on.
Suddenly you hear footsteps inching closer with a quick pace, almost running in
your direction. You stop mid-walk and almost trip when you try to listen to the
noise more closely.
A hand slams down on your shoulder from behind; you cry out and spin around to
see a soaked Yoongi staring past you. You feel something inside you softening
by the thought of him running after you. He’s panting heavily, his eyebrows
furrowed in frustration. “Tell me the
truth, Y/N.” Yoongi mumbles in-between heavy breathing, not caring that his
voice sound harsh.
You bite down on your lower lip, feeling
your stomach tighten when his tone becomes huskier. “You have no clue how much
I cared,” You start, looking up at him through glistening eyes, the rain
hitting your bodies from above. “How much it took in me just to say goodnight
sometimes, knowing that you’re on the other side of the world and not where I
need you. How much I forced myself to believe that things will be different
this time.” Your breath hitches in your throat, feeling the anxiety rise deep
inside of you. You look away from him, a lonely tear making its’ way down your
You shake your head, looking at your feet. “They weren’t.” You chuckle at your
own words. “But you were the first person I ever loved and I can’t thank you
“Y/N…” His voice has dropped to a whisper, his face now a full shade paler.
“Let’s not make this hurt more than it has to.” You answer and turn around to
leave but he reaches out and squeezes your shoulder, forcing you to turn back
to him. Your lips are only a hairs-breadth away from his and you turn away
quickly, your heartbeat quickening when you realize how it feels to be hold by
him. He lifts up his arm and places his hand underneath your chin, pulling your
face towards his. His magnetic stare burns into yours, the bleak look tucked
inside his eyes pleads me to understand. To forgive. His jaw is set in a firm
line, lips pressed together, cheeks pink from the ice in the air. “I can’t
promise you a perfect relationship,” He states softly, his voice coming out as
nothing more than a whisper. “but what I can promise you is that it was never
my intend to hurt the only girl who holds my heart…”
You cup your palm against the side of his face, your fingers curling into his
satin skin. You continue to stare at each other until you can no longer resist
his allure and pull his mouth towards yours.
I'm just settling down to read your Draco series and I thought I'd send you this for your drabbles whilst I'm reading: He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. Draco obviously ❤ you beautiful!
He couldn’t say no to you. Not when you gave him those puppy dog eyes and pouted your lips in such a fashion. All Draco wanted to do was press his lips to yours and forget he even had an exam to take.
“Draco,” you whispered, smacking his shoulder. “Come on. Please lend me your notes for the test.”
Draco blinked and gave you a scowl, playing hard to get. “You should have taken notes yourself, you know? I’m not at your beck and call.”
“I know, but you’re also the best and I’m going to owe you a huge one.”
Draco’s eyes twinkled at this and he turned to you with a sneer. Your heart skipped a beat. You had seen that look on Draco before, when he wanted a girl and pursued her. You just never thought to see that look directed at you.
“Next time we go to Hogsmeade,” he began. “You owe me lunch. Together. Just the two of us.”
You bit your bottom lip before nodding. “Fine, fine. We’ll have lunch.”
“Oh, and,” he drawled out.
You huffed. “What, Draco? What else?”
“A kiss,” he said.
“Yes.” Draco nodded as you reached for the notes he was handing to you. Yet he didn’t let go of them and instead, tugged you closer to him until you were just inches away from each other. He winked. “A kiss.” His voice was lower this time and you felt your heartbeat skyrocket.
You swallowed thickly. “Very well, then.”
“Fantastic,” he smirked. “I’d like to claim it now.”
Before you could say anything else, Draco’s face was right there and his lips pressed against your own.
O, would that it be permitted to hold your delicate arms,
fastened around my neck, and to offer kisses to your tender lips.
Go now, darling, and trust your joys to the winds;
trust me, the nature of men is fickle.
Often while I lie awake in the middle of the night, lost in love,
I reflect on these things with myself: many are they whom Fortune has lifted up high;
and in the same way these, suddenly thrown down headlong, she now oppresses:
just as when Venus has unexpectedly joined the bodies of lovers,
daylight divides them, and (they?)…
Milnor, Kristina. “Gender and Genre: The Case of CIL 4. 5296.” In Graffiti and the Literary Landscape in Roman Pompeii. 1st ed. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2014.
(The picture and transcription are taken from this source, p 198 and 209. There is obviously MUCH more scholarship on this, but Milnor is a good starting place.)
I’d recommend looking up Rebecca Benefiel if you want more information specifically about graffiti in domestic spaces.
A beautiful love poem from one woman to another, neatly inscribed on the wall inside a house in Pompeii. There’s much to say about this poem, but I’ll keep it brief! There’s a lot of debate as to whether this was actually written by a woman, to a woman, and scholars sometimes bend over backwards to try to justify another explanation. But I (and many others) argue that it rejects the involvement of men both thematically and grammatically. The speaker does not seem interested in men’s “fickle nature.” The gender of the speaker can be determined by the perdita in line 4: a nominative, feminine perfect passive participle. The gender of the addressee is shown by pupula, a vocative, feminine noun (a diminutive term of endearment, literally meaning “little girl,” but probably more like “darling,” or maybe even “baby”?)
Please add your own translations, comments, and bibliography if you like!
Description: One ordinary night, your friend Seokjin approaches you with a surprising matter and a rather unorthodox solution.
You rolled onto your back, staring at blankly at your bedroom ceiling, the faint blue glow of your alarm clock hovering closely in your peripheral vision. It was midnight. You certainly felt tired, though for some reason you couldn’t sleep. Lips stretching into a yawn, you grabbed your phone from the charging dock atop your beside table, thumbing in your passcode.
As expected, you had zero messages.
The only person who really contacted you was your mother, but even she had been getting busier as of late. You grudgingly sat up, hugging your knees to your chest as you scrolled lazily through tumblr. Most of the blogs you followed were either aesthetic or photography-based, but there was one which revolved around something else.
A guilty pleasure of sorts.
You kept your eyes open for a little longer than was comfortable, having inadvertently stumbled upon a photo of him.
"You have got to be kidding me, I am not wearing that on a mission." Come on Sam, you know this is the only way.
“Hell, no!” he reiterated. “You must be crazy to think I’m wearing that.”
“It’s just a body suit, Sam.”
“It’s tights,” he huffed out, looking down at the said garment with disgust. “And I may be part of the Avengers and be considered a superhero, but there is no way in hell I am going to be seen wearing that.”
“You’re so dramatic,” you groaned out, rolling your eyes.
“Never gonna catch me wearing that.”
You stayed silent for a moment before a smirk appeared and Sam gave you a suspicious look. Sauntering up to him, you slid your arms around his neck and pecked his lips.
“What if I tell you that it makes your ass look great?”
He raised a brow at you. “Honey, my ass looks great in anything I wear. Not the other way around.”
“Oh, come on, Sam! Just wear the damn thing.”
“What do I have to do for you to wear it?”
He thought it over for a few seconds before he smirked, leaning forward to whisper into your ear. You slowly smiled at his words before playfully smacking his chest.
“You in or I just don’t wear that disgusting thing.”
He smiled, pressing a deep kiss to your lips. “That’s what I thought. Now, hand it over and let’s just get this shit over with.
If you could, you
would continue dreaming on, but the sunlight pouring in through the slice of
glass carelessly uncovered by the blinds from not being pulled down properly is bright
enough to prick and bother the back of your lids. A sleepy sigh is exhaled past
your lips as you turn away from the annoyingly glaring ray of gold, and in your
haste you quite forget about the warm body still deep in slumber next to you, effectively bumping noses with said person.
“Oh is that champagne?” I ask my boyfriend of three and a half years just as he is lifting the glass to his lips. His eyebrows raise in surprise as as you take the glass from his hand. You smile, take a sip, and give him a wink. He takes the glass back from you, gives it a swirl, and takes a sip himself.
He then places a kiss on your temple before reaching to the table behind him and picking up a glass and says, “If you really want champagne, you can have this one.” Shawn hands you a glass while taking a sip of his own. His lips linger on the glass as he tries to hide his smile.
You bring the glass up to your lips and at the last second you notice the faint grey color of the liquid with black specs floating in it. “Shawn!” You exclaim.
“Yeah (y/n)?” He asks innocently.
“Did you give me the fucking Champagne that is filled with Geoff’s spit and pepper?” You ask.
“What if I did?” Shawn asks, “You should try it, its honestly not that bad.” He tries to force it toward you.
“Shawn no!” You laugh, “I swear to God Shawn if you put that shit in my mouth I swear to God we are breaking up for a week.”
Oh yeah, you and Shawn are currently at the LA New Years Rockin Eve Pre-Recording show. You have done this before, twice actually. You tell him you are going to ‘break up’, but really you are still together. You just treat him as if he is isn’t your boyfriend so no kisses, no cuddles, and especially no sex.
“Shawn don’t!” You yell while he continues to forcefully, but playfully, shove the drink your throat. He catches you mid laughing pours some of the drink into your mouth.
“That’s it Mendes, we’re done!” You laugh.
“Come on baby, you love me.” Shawn says as he gently places his hand only your lower back.
You quickly remove his hand and say, “I don’t let men I’m not dating touch me.”
He pouts and says, “Just tell me you love me.”
“I love my best friend Shawn.” You smile and take a sip of Shawn’s glass of champagne.
“Do you love your boyfriend Shawn?” He asks partially serious.
“I don’t have a boyfriend.” You whisper and then you walk away with a wink and Shawn’s drink.
The next night is the real New Years Eve and to be honest it has only been 24 hours and you are already missing Shawn’s lips among other things of course, but you find yourselves at a party Cam Dallas was throwing. Usually you simply stay home and cuddle on the couch with a bottle of champagne, but you felt obligated to show up at Cam’s house.
“You look gorgeous.” Shawn whispers in your ear as you enter through the door of the party.
“Thank you, friend.” You smile. “Damn I need a drink!”
“SHAWN!” Cameron yells the second you two arrive inside. Shawn immediately gets swept away with old friends and you find Madison Beer to chat with.
“So you two are technically not together?” Mads asks.
“Well… I guess not. Obviously Shawn and I are still together, this is just my way of punishing him for pouring that shit down my throat” you laugh.
“So who are you going to kiss at midnight?” Mads asks.
“Oh Shawn of course, I’m just going to drag it out a little bit.” You say.
“You sly bitch.” She laughs, “Well, I’ve gotta find my man.”
“Oh shit three minutes to midnight.” You say. You search the crowd for Shawn. You find him in the kitchen leaning against the counter talking to Jack Johnson.
“Hi.” You whisper.
“Uh, I’m gonna go man.” Jack says.
“Sure we’ll be in in a minute.” Shawn says.
“So…” Shawn begins pulling you close, “Do I get to kiss my beautiful girl at midnight?”
“I don’t usually kiss random men,” You begin, “But, I think I can make an exception tonight.”
“I think we better get with everyone else for the countdown.” Shawn says.
“Mhmm why can’t we just stay here for a minute and…” You lean in and you can assume Shawn gets what you mean. You are centimeters from touching when you here everyone counting down.
You quickly run into the other room with everyone else when Shawn grabs a couple glasses of champagne.
“11, 10, 9!” You all cheer. Shawn joins you and hands you a glass of champagne.
“8, 7, 6, 5!” Shawn wraps his arm around your lower back and pulls you in close.
“4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Everyone cheers and takes a sip of their drink. You then look at Shawn with a smile. He leans down and kisses you. First kiss of 2017!
“Come out on the balcony with me.” Shawn whispers to you as he takes your hand. You follow him out to the balcony. It has beautiful string lights wrapped around the railings.
“Whats your New Year Resolution?” Shawn asks as you take a sip of your Champagne.
“I want to strengthen the relationships I already have and make new ones so I can say the same thing about them next year.” You smile.
“Thats sweet.” Shawn kisses your cheeks. “Almost as sweet as you!” He says as he continues to rapidly peck your cheek.
“Whats yours?” You ask him.
“Funny you say that because I think I’m gonna complete mine.” He says.
“What do you mean?” You ask. Shawn takes both of your hands.
“Mine is kind of like yours but focused on one person.” Shawn smiles, “I want to further our relationship. I love you more than you could ever imagine (Y/N) and I think about my future a lot and honestly, I can’t think about my future without seeing you. So… my resolution this year is ask the woman I love to marry me and I know we are young but I think we are more than ready.”
“So (Y/N)?” Shawn says as he gets down on one knee. At this point there are about 20 people looking at you both through the window. “Will you marry me?”
You can’t even believe that this is happening right now. You in no way expected this. “Yes, Yes!” You say with tears streaming down your cheeks. He places the ring on your finger and you bring him into a kiss immediately. You can’t even believe you are going to spend the rest of your life with your best friend. 2017 is going to be an amazing year!
"What the hell was that?! I said DON'T do it!!" with Neville??
Neville pounced at you, his face showcasing panic as he quickly slammed the closet doors closed. He was breathing hard and that strand of hair that always curled in front of his forehead had once again escaped the hair gel. You bit your bottom lip. Now was not the time to check him out. He looked quite furious.
“Sorry,” you offered, giving him a cringing smile.
Neville scoffed. “You almost let it out! You know how hard it is to put it back in?”
“What is it, anyway?” you questioned.
“It’s-It’s confidential!” he replied, voice high and nervous.
You tried not to smile and raised your hands. “Fine, fine I won’t ask. I’m actually here to ask you something else.”
Neville tilted his head at you. “Oh. W-What?”
You let yourself smile. “Well, the Hogsmeade trip with the children will be coming up next month. And I was wondering if you’d like to stay back with me.”
“Oh, do you need help with anything?” inquired Neville. And you wanted to snort. He probably wasn’t used to anyone asking him out.
Shaking your head, you stepped up to him and flirtatiously grinned. “Not really. I just wanted you to have lunch with me. And just-Hang out, if you’d like.”
Neville’s eyes widened at the realization that you were asking him out and a wide grin split over his face. He nodded eagerly. “That would be great!”
You laughed. “Wonderful! I’ll see you around, then?”
Nodding, Neville gave in to the urge he felt and leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. You inhaled sharply and for a second, he thought he had done something wrong. But when he pulled away, you were wearing a large smile and gave him a quick hug before scurrying out of his classroom.
concept: we’re cuddling in bed and i lift my head up from its spot on your shoulder to kiss your neck. i make a tiny trail of kisses up your neck and along your jaw and finally reach your lips. i hover mine over yours for a couple seconds, listening to your breathing. you close the gap and then pull me onto you so my legs are on either side of your hips. you gently trail your fingers up my spin and then cup my face with your hands. you draw me in for a kiss and tell me you love me just before making contact
could you do '2' for all the projects you're working on right now?
2. pick one sight, smell, sound, feel, and taste to describe the aesthetic of your novel.
Absolution sight - the dying sun over rusty barb wire smell - the heavy scent of gunpowder and sulfur in the air sound - Hosana chanting in masses feel - carrying your heart, too heavy for your bones taste - copper and silver on your tongue
Sublind & Sunchoked sight - shoulder blades sticking out under white tanktops like wax wings smell - petrichor sound - an old playlist on your iPhone that repeats sad songs feel - spreading your arms against the wild wind, burning against your skin taste - salt on your lips and you don’t know if you taste the ocean or tears
Murderer’s Maze sight - warm blood on fresh snow smell - an expensive cologne that haunts you sound - the ticking of a clock running out feel - the sensation of terror hammering between your ribs taste - salt and lemons
Fallen sight - an empty street, illuminated by cheap neon lights smell - the stench of burned skin gripping tight in your nose sound - war drums introducing the rebellion feel - falling in a dream and jerking away when hitting rock bottom taste - regret, washed down with something like tequila
Death’s Kiss sight - a wide field of poppies in Spring smell - cotton and lily of the valleys on your sheets sound - a laugh, clear as a bell and twice as chilling feel - kisses down your spine until goosebumps rise taste - the juice of pomegranates mixed with something bitter
Sandborn sight - the reflection of fire on a blade smell - the crisp smell of dawn sound - dead silence feel - the night slowly crawling up on you taste - revenge, served cold