not my self to night

Fact #160: Kate always suggests to buy your Thanksgiving ingredients two to three days before Thanksgiving. The stores will have all that is needed with the holiday deals but without the calamitous crowds. She also suggests to pull out the good ol’ irish catholic guilt trip to ensure all your loved ones will be attending your feast.


Kate’s Guilt Trip Cheat Sheet -

Children = I birthed you

Older Siblings = I protected you from the little shits

Younger Siblings = I’m practically your mom you little shits

Robert Duncan McNeill = I got you your first directing gig

Robert Picardo = Blackmail

Robert Beltran = Sexually based blackmail

Tim Russ = Happy to come so no blackmail for this black male

Natasha Lyonne = I’m your filming mommy so I might as well have birthed you

Taylor Schilling = I’m well aware you kind of fear me and it breaks my heart (wink)

Rosie O’Donnell = I’m Mary Ryan! Protect my little freckled self from Trump!

Lover Of The Month = Flash to last night

Lea DeLeria = See Rosie O’ Donnell

I’m watching La La Land and it’s ok but it could be a lot better!

  • Ryan Gosling didn’t seem suited to the musical aspects of the role, maybe cast a different hearthrob with more experience in the genre, like Zac Efron
  • Emma Stone similarly didn’t seem to thrive with the singing and dancing, so maybe cast someone again with experience and heck why not someone with proven chemistry with zac efron.. maybe vanessa hudgens
  • Maybe if the male love interest was into something a little more relatable than Jazz? Like maybe basketball? 
  • Female character seemed a little flat, maybe if she was also incredibly gifted with math and science? 
  • Setting of LA wasn’t particularly relatable, maybe if it was set somewhere universal? Like High School? 
  • Just watch High School Musical
Maybe it is because I can’t seem to love myself, people never want to love me.
—  Late night thoughts #56
Would things have worked out differently for us if we’d met at a time when I was completely and entirely anything but myself? Now I can look back and say that I’ve changed, at least a little bit, but back then… I have no idea what I was working with. There was simply no me to begin with. I looked in the mirror and saw the same smile cut out of every picture but it didn’t mean much of anything. Did I even have thoughts back then? Did the sky have much of a color in those eyes of mine? I don’t even know.
—  🖤

Maybe on the morrow she would tell him about the cat that had followed her home last night from Pynto’s, the cat that was hiding in the rafters, looking down on them. Or maybe not. IF HE HAD SECRETS, SO COULD SHE.