not my real mom just so you know

My mom has alopecia, so her real hair is very thin. She’s been avoiding cutting it, but now that she wears wigs and it’s summer, she wanted to cut her real hair. And she wanted ME to do it. O_O She figured it doesn’t matter if I messed up since no one sees her without her “hair hat,” plus she had faith in me. LOL

So, I did my very first haircut on a person, not a cosplay wig! And you know what? It turned out pretty cute! She just wanted an a-line bob, which I’ve done to a wig before, and there wasn’t a lot of hair, so it was pretty simple. And with her natural curls, you can’t see any possible mistakes I made, hehe.

She said it feels so much better. I’m so glad! :D My cosmetologist friend would be so proud of me.

Not so fast Morty 🏃🏻 you heard your mom 🙎🏼 we’ve got adventures 🔥 to go on Morty 😱😩👌 Just you 🤦🏻‍♂️🔫 and me 👨‍🔬🔫 and sometimes your sister 💁📱 and sometimes your mom 👩🏼‍⚕️🐎 but ‼️ NEVER ✋ your 😤 dad! 🤷🏻‍♂️❌😷 You wanna 🙈 know why Morty? 🙊💯 Because he CROSSED me 😡🙅‍♂️ Oh 😵 it gets darker Morty 😎🌚 Welcome 👽 to the 😭 darkest 😈 year of our 👨‍👦adventures 🙏😫 First 1️⃣ thing that’s 👩‍🎤 different ⁉️ No more dad Morty 🆒 He threatened 👀👎 to turn me in 🙋‍♂️👮 to the government 😓🙄 so I made him 🤤🐀 and the government 💩 go away 🖕 I repla😖ced them both 🌜🌛as the 😈 defacto 🤡 patriarch 👴🏻 of your family 👨‍👧‍👦and 😲 your universe 😱🌌🙌 Your mom 🐎 wouldn’t have 👋 accepted 🤝 me 🙄 if I came home 🏡 without you 👦🏻 and your sister 👱‍♀️ so now you know 🎓 the real 💯 reason 🌟 I rescued ⛑ you 👍 I JUST 💅🏼 TOOK OVER 🔝😵 THE FAMILY 👨‍👧‍👦 MORTY 🙍🏻‍♂️ And 👀 if you tell 🗣 your mom or sister 👩🏼‍⚕️💁 I said any of this 🙊 I’ll deny it 🙅‍♂️😤 And 😏 they’ll take my side 💕😌👫 because I’m a 🕺 hero 🏅🏆 Morty 😂🤣 And now 👊 you’re gonna have to do 🤹🏻‍♂️🐒 whatever I say 😝 Morty 😥 Forever 🕐🕔🕤🕙💀 And I’ll go out 🚶🏼 and find 🔭 some more 🙀 of that 👅 Mulan 🥋🎎 Szechuan 🐉🏮Teriyaki 😫💦 dipping sauce 🔥👌🙏 Morty 💦💦💦🙌 Because that’s 👉 what this 🎉 is all about Morty 🍗 That’s my 1️⃣ one ☝️ arm 🤳 man 🕺 I’m not ❌ driven 🚘 by avenging ✊🏻 my dead 💀 family 😭👨‍👩‍👧 Morty 💧 That 🤣 was 🙉 FAKE ✨ I’m 👨‍🔬 driven 💨 by finding 👀 that 😩 McNugget 🤘 🍟 Sauce 💦 I want 😱 that 😳 Mulan 🐉🥋 McNugget 🤡 Sauce 🍆💦Morty 😭 That’s 💪🏼 my series 🎬 arc 🌈 Morty 👑 If it takes ❤️ 9 ❤️ seasons ❤️ I WANT 😫 MY 👏 MCNUGGET 🍗🍟 DIPPING SAUCE 💦SZECHUAN 🔥 SAUCE MORTY 😡😵 IT’S 🤤 GONNA 🤸‍♀️TAKE 🚀 US 🙆🏻‍♂️👴🏻 ALL THE WAY 💫 TO 👉 THE 👉 END MORTY 🏁 9️⃣ MORE 💰 SEASONS 🤖 MORTY 💎 9️⃣ MORE SEASONS 🙌 UNTIL I GET 🎁 THAT 😍 DIPPING ‼️🔥 SZECHUAN 🎎 SAUCE 🍆💦😩 FOR 9️⃣7️⃣ MORE YEARS ⌛️🕰 MORTY 💀 I 👏 WANT 👏 THAT 👏 MCNUGGET 👏 SAUCE 👏 MORTY 👏

REBLOG IF YOU THINK PANSEXUALITY IS A LEGITIMATE SEXUALITY

i wanna come out to my mom as pansexual but when ive hinted at me not being 100% straight, she’s said its not a thing and that im too young to know (im 19) what my sexuality is and it just makes me SO MAD bc i want my mom to accept me but i think i need some support

so, please reblog if you agree that pansexuality is real and that im old enough to know my sexuality.

I want to tell a quick story about how important representation in television is, and how Sense8 is really making a tangible difference. You can repost if you like, I thought your followers might enjoy it.

My dad is a wealthy, white, conservative male who voted for Trump. He’s not a hateful person…in fact he’s one of the kindest people you’ll meet and he can talk to a random stranger for hours. But he’s extremely fiscally conservative and tends to have a narrow world view. 

He and I argue a lot. He calls me a naive liberal who has no idea how the real world works. I call him a decrepit old man who wouldn’t know innovation if it kicked him in the teeth. It’s our way of keeping each other on our toes. 

But we love to watch TV together. Game of Thrones, House of Cards, and Vikings are a few of our favorites. I always held off on showing him Sense8…I honestly didn’t think he’d like it. But one day he asked me “What should we watch next?” and I though…why not?

He absolutely loved it. Yeah he thought the sex scenes were a little gratuitous, but he couldn’t stop watching. He even started talking about it to all his brothers and friends during our BBQ. I was so pumped he enjoyed it. 

But it was one scene in particular that really changed things for him: Nomi’s speech during her sister’s rehearsal dinner in episode 2x8. 

You see, my dad thought Nomi’s relationship with her Mom was unrealistic. He said “Parents love their kids unconditionally. No real mother would ever say those types of things. I mean…she’s not abusive. She’s not a drug addict or an alcoholic. And clearly no money problems at home. A real mom wouldn’t hate their kids just because.”

I was floored and didn’t know what to say at first. He had called me sheltered and naive so many times…and then he says something like that. I realize that it’s because he loves me so much (and would still love me so much even if I were trans) that he found a character like Nomi’s mom not just unrelatable, but completely unrealistic. 

But eventually I say this. 

“Dad…about half of homeless youth are LGBT. Believe it or not, this is one of the most realistic parts of the show.”

To which he replies: “Oh. Really? I…didn’t know that.”

And then a few minutes later Nomi’s says her speech and I look over and my dad is tearing up, just a little. 

“You doing alright over there?”

“Yeah…yeah I just….I’m fine. But I think I get it a little more now.”

So that’s my story. Even old white guy who voted for Trump is heartbroken about Sense8’s cancellation. That says a lot about how big a mistake Netflix is making. 


Submitted by @fourforyouglencoco

no not so fast morty. you heard you’re mom, we’ve got adventures to go on morty. just you and me, and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom. but never your father you wanna know why morty? because he crossed me. (ok take it easy rick, tha-that’s dark). oh it gets darker morty, welcome to the darkest years of our adventures. first thing that’s different, no more dad morty he threatened to turn me into government so i made him and the government go away. (ohhhh fuck). i’ve re-BURP-laced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if i came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason i rescued you. i just took over the family morty! and if you tell your mom or sister i said any of this i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because im a hero morty. and now you’re gonna have to go do everything i say morty. forever! and i-i’ll-i’ll go out and find some more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce morty! anb-because that’s what this is all about morty! tha that’s my one armed man. i’m not driven by avenging my dead family morty, that was fake, i-i-im driven by finding that mcnugget sauce! i want the mulan mcnugget sauce morty! that’s my series arc morty! if it takes 9 seasons, i want my mcnugget. dipping sauce szechuan sauce morty! (what are you talking about rick!?) that’s wha-that’s what (what are you talking about??) gonna take us all the way to the end morty! season 9 9 more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce. (what is that?!) for 97 more years morty (what are you talking about!?). i want that mcnugget dipping sauce morty!

Not so fast Morty 🏃🏻 you heard your mom 🙎🏼 we’ve got adventures 🔥 to go on Morty 😱😩👌 Just you 🤦🏻‍♂️🔫 and me 👨‍🔬🔫 and sometimes your sister 💁📱 and sometimes your mom 👩🏼‍⚕️🐎 but ‼️ NEVER ✋ your 😤 dad! 🤷🏻‍♂️❌😷 You wanna 🙈 know why Morty? 🙊💯 Because he CROSSED me 😡🙅‍♂️ Oh 😵 it gets darker Morty 😎🌚 Welcome 👽 to the 😭 darkest 😈 year of our 👨‍👦adventures 🙏😫 First 1️⃣ thing that’s 👩‍🎤 different ⁉️ No more dad Morty 🆒 He threatened 👀👎 to turn me in 🙋‍♂️👮 to the government 😓🙄 so I made him 🤤🐀 and the government 💩 go away 🖕 I repla😖ced them both 🌜🌛as the 😈 defacto 🤡 patriarch 👴🏻 of your family 👨‍👧‍👦and 😲 your universe 😱🌌🙌 Your mom 🐎 wouldn’t have 👋 accepted 🤝 me 🙄 if I came home 🏡 without you 👦🏻 and your sister 👱‍♀️ so now you know 🎓 the real 💯 reason 🌟 I rescued ⛑ you 👍 I JUST 💅🏼 TOOK OVER 🔝😵 THE FAMILY 👨‍👧‍👦 MORTY 🙍🏻‍♂️ And 👀 if you tell 🗣 your mom or sister 👩🏼‍⚕️💁 I said any of this 🙊 I’ll deny it 🙅‍♂️😤 And 😏 they’ll take my side 💕😌👫 because I’m a 🕺 hero 🏅🏆 Morty 😂🤣 And now 👊 you’re gonna have to do 🤹🏻‍♂️🐒 whatever I say 😝 Morty 😥 Forever 🕐🕔🕤🕙💀 And I’ll go out 🚶🏼 and find 🔭 some more 🙀 of that 👅 Mulan 🥋🎎 Szechuan 🐉🏮Teriyaki 😫💦 dipping sauce 🔥👌🙏 Morty 💦💦💦🙌 Because that’s 👉 what this 🎉 is all about Morty 🍗 That’s my 1️⃣ one ☝️ arm 🤳 man 🕺 I’m not ❌ driven 🚘 by avenging ✊🏻 my dead 💀 family 😭👨‍👩‍👧 Morty 💧 That 🤣 was 🙉 FAKE ✨ I’m 👨‍🔬 driven 💨 by finding 👀 that 😩 McNugget 🤘 🍟 Sauce 💦 I want 😱 that 😳 Mulan 🐉🥋 McNugget 🤡 Sauce 🍆💦Morty 😭 That’s 💪🏼 my series 🎬 arc 🌈 Morty 👑 If it takes ❤️ 9 ❤️ seasons ❤️ I WANT 😫 MY 👏 MCNUGGET 🍗🍟 DIPPING SAUCE 💦SZECHUAN 🔥 SAUCE MORTY 😡😵 IT’S 🤤 GONNA 🤸‍♀️TAKE 🚀 US 🙆🏻‍♂️👴🏻 ALL THE WAY 💫 TO 👉 THE 👉 END MORTY 🏁 9️⃣ MORE 💰 SEASONS 🤖 MORTY 💎 9️⃣ MORE SEASONS 🙌 UNTIL I GET 🎁 THAT 😍 DIPPING ‼️🔥 SZECHUAN 🎎 SAUCE 🍆💦😩 FOR 9️⃣7️⃣ MORE YEARS ⌛️🕰 MORTY 💀 I 👏 WANT 👏 THAT 👏 MCNUGGET 👏 SAUCE 👏 MORTY 👏

Tbh I always thought that the whole “I have eaten the fruit of the land of the death” excuse that Persephone gave her mother was kinda convenient so consider this:

Hades “kidnaps” Persephone, but what he’s really doing is helping his real live actual girlfriend escape the clutches of emotionally abusive/toxic mom Demeter (see “I can’t talk to my daughter for six months so I’m gonna mope and make the rest of the world suffer with me”)

Super clingy mom Demeter shows up and demands her daughter come back with her, using her own emotional stability and the fucking FATE OF THE WORLD as a guilt trip

“I would totally love to mom, but wouldn’t you know it, I ate this one pomegranate seed and as a result I’m stuck here forever so you should probs just leave and forget about me because it looks like I’m dead forev–”

Zeus shows up.

“Nah man, as king of the gods I can totes negate the effect of those pomegranate seeds, and let you go back to the real world with your mom.”

Cue frantic head shaking and silent pleads from Persephone & Hades from behind Demeter’s back for Zeus to shut the fuck up man, that is not the plan. Zeus catches on instantly.

“But only for half the year, because, uh the laws of–you know, biology or some shit?”

The goddess of flowers and the queen of hell quietly contemplates what she will plant on Zeus’s grave after she murders him.

psychic: *reads my mind*

my mind: Not so fast Morty you heard your mom we’ve got adventures to go on Morty Just you and me and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom but NEVER your dad! You wanna know why Morty? Because he CROSSED me Oh it gets darker Morty Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures First thing that’s different No more dad Morty He threatened to turn me in to the government so I made him and the government go away I replaced them both as the defacto patriarch of your family and your universe Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister so now you know the real reason I rescued you I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this I’ll deny it And they’ll take my side because I’m a hero Morty And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say Morty Forever And I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce Morty Because that’s what this is all about Morty That’s my one arm man I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty That was FAKE I’m driven by finding that McNugget Sauce I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce Morty That’s my series arc Morty If it takes 9 seasons I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE MORTY IT’S GONNA US ALL THE WAY TO THE END MORTY 9 MORE SEASONS MORTY 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE FOR 97 MORE YEARS MORTY I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE MORTY

psychic: what  t he  fu c k

I was thinking of Blue Paladin Keith
  • Keith: Okay girl so let's just try to get along and-
  • Blue: You hurt my boy and I'll destroy you
  • Keith:
  • Keith:
  • Keith:
  • Keith: ...What?
  • Blue: It wouldn't even be that hard, you are like a baby

Not so fast Morty,
You heard your mom
we got adventures to go on Morty๐Ÿ–๐Ÿป
Just you and me
and sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom
but NEVER your dad!
You wanna know why Morty?
Because he CROSSED me ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

Oh it gets Darker Morty,
Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures,
First thing thatโ€™s different
no more dad Morty
he threatened to turn me into the government, so I made him
and the government go away.

I repla*burp*ced them both as the patriarch of your family
and your universe ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป
Your mom wouldnโ€™t have accepted me
if I came home without you or your sister,
So now you know the Real reason why i rescued you
I Just Took Over The Family Morty!
& if you tell your mom or sister i said any of this, Iโ€™ll deny it!
& theyโ€™ll take my side because Iโ€™m a hero Morty!
Now youโ€™re gonna have to do whatever i say Morty! Forever!!
(as if he didnt already)
(that close up of Rick looks sexy btw)
& I-I
*has a mini stroke with his words*
Iโ€™ll go out and find some of that, Mulan Szechuan* Teriyaki dipping sauce Morty!
BEcause Thatโ€™s ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ
thatโ€™s what this is all about Morty!
Thatโ€™s my one arm man?!
Iโ€™m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty!
That was FAKE!
(Morty tries to crawl away and Rick pulls that bitch closer to him)
(Morty looks genuinely terrified LOL)
Iโ€™m driven by finding that
McNugget Sauce!!
*Morty in the backround*
โ€œNugget?!!โ€
I want That Mulan McNugget Sauce!
Morty!
Thatโ€™s my series arc Morty!
It takes 9 seasons!
(Iโ€™d watch that tbh)
I WANT MY MCNUGGETS! ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป

—  Rick Sanchez
Rick and Morty S3 E1
April 1st, 2017
Reggie Mantle x Reader: Flower Power

Request:

A Reggie x Reader where the reader starts giving Reggie a flower each day and he’ll wear it in his hair and lots of fluff please?

 

A/N: This one was so cute to write, so I hope you guys enjoy. Also sorry for being a bit slow on uploading requests my cat likes to bother me while I write. Tomorrow I’m going to be busy, so don’t expect much tomorrow sorry. Also the reader will be a Lodge in this imagine and is moving in to Riverdale with her family after what her dad did.

Words: 1207

Summary: Reader is new to Riverdale and she hears all these rumors about Reggie Mantle from her sisters (Veronica) friend Betty, but she believes in goodness in everyone even Reggie.

Spoilers: N/A

Warnings: Reggie and Reader cuteness overload.

Moving was hard, moving away from all your friends and everything you’ve even known and starting from scratch was harder. Your mother Hermione always talked fondly about her time at Riverdale. She and your father grew up there and since your mother had some property there, you were now moving from the radiant awake city that was New York.

What made it easier was your sister Veronica, she was the more stylish one, and you were only a few months apart. She was your partner in crime, you don’t think you could survive without her.

You moved into Riverdale in the middle of the downpour. The chaos of a murderer on the loose and the beloved quarterback Jason Blossom life came to sad end.

Veronica made friends with a sweet girl named Betty in the summer and Betty introduced you to her friends. Kevin had no filter which you loved, Archie was complicated (but he was good at music and hoped to join the football team when school started a bit of a cliché). Jughead Jones the Third he claimed, was a bit of a mystery, but a great writer.

One day you were all hanging out in the park, when you saw him alone with his dog.

“Who’s that?” you interrupted the conversation and pointed at the tall figure with luscious black hair.

“That’s Reggie Mantle” Kevin answered.

“Reggie” you cheered and Veronica gave you a smirk.

“He’s kind of a player (Y/N)” Betty chimed in.

“So is Veronica, that doesn’t mean I can hate and judge my sister” you chuckled as she gave you a nudge in the shoulder as the group laughed.

“He’s also a bully” Jughead spoke while typing away on his laptop.

“Sorry that he bullies you, but bullies do have a reason for bullying even if it’s not the best argument, they have a reason” you reasoned.

“Why’d you think he bullies me?” Jughead retorted as he lifted his eyebrow.

“Oh, just a hunch” you replied with a smile on your face “I’ll be back” you shared with them as you stood up from the bench and walked towards Reggie, not wanting to be empty handed you picked up a daisy from the grass.

“Cute dog, does it have a name?” you gestured at Reggie.

“Vader” he answered as you reached your hand out to give him the daisy as he gave you a puzzled look.

“I come in peace” you reassured as you placed the small flower on his right ear.

“My name is (Y/N)” you pointed out as Vader was running after his tail.

“Reggie, you new around here?” he questioned as he fixed the daisy in his ear.

“That obvious, or is it the fact that in small towns everybody knows everybody” you chuckled.

“Well that, and you’re talking to me” he implied with a small smile.

“Well, I don’t know you and if I listened to what everyone had to say I could miss out on some great things” you claimed with a smile on your face and he chuckled.

You and Reggie actually became great friends. He confided in you on things he’d never say to anyone, you would even go jogging together every morning and you made sure to always have a flower for him, and he always sweetly placed it in his ear. He also promised to leave Jughead alone.

Tomorrow was going to be your first day at Riverdale High. Your mother, Veronica and you occupied the dinner table as Smithers brought you your food.

“So mija” your mother spoke “I heard you have been hanging out with Reggie Mantle a lot” your mother directed at you.

“Yeah, I have, he’s a really great guy” you claimed.

“Rumor has it-” your mother was cut off by you.

“Rumor has it what?! Mom, I cannot stand it when people label people before getting to know them. We are who are, not what people say we are. I am not a corrupt money taker like people claim because of my father’s mistake. Reggie is who he is, he shows a different side to the world and it is a privilege to know the real Reggie. Besides he just lost a friend to a murderer on the loose in your beloved Riverdale mom. I don’t want to hear any more of this.” You ranted and dropped your fork, now at a loss in your appetite because of your mother.

“I’m sorry (Y/N), I- I was out of line, and you are so correct” your mother concluded and Ronnie took your hand in hers.

The school day was about to start and Betty was assigned to show you and Veronica around. Betty pointed you to your first class as you scanned the hallways for Reggie to give him his flower of the day.

“Do you really think he’ll take your flower in front of the whole school and his neanderthals?” Ronnie questioned you as Betty gave you a small smile.

“If he doesn’t, then you were all right. I wasted my time getting to know a great guy who was too scared to show his true self to the world, and I’ll never speak to him again.” You proclaimed.

You left Betty and Veronica and made your way to Reggie who was at his locker with his posse.

“Hey Reg” you spoke up a bit nervous because you were really hoping he wouldn’t turn you down because you enjoyed hanging out with him.

“Hey (Y/N)” Reggie turned away from his posse.

“Hmm, you’re wearing a cap” you gave him a sad smile.

“That’s okay” he answered with a chuckle as he placed the flower on the hole of his snapback.

You couldn’t help but place a huge smile on your face as he showed of his flower of the day for all the school to see.

Later you were home alone your mom was working at Pops and Veronica was trying out for the River Vixens with Betty, since Smithers had just stepped and you jumped when you heard the doorbell ring.

A bit scared since you were binge watching Criminal Minds and there was a murderer on the lose you grabbed a bat and opened the door.

“Whoa! (Y/N) you can but the bat down it’s just me” Reggie removed the bat from your hands and dropped it as you let him in.

“What you got there?” you cheered at the bouquet of flowers Reggie had in his hands.

“Um” Reggie scratched his head as he still had his flower of the day on his forehead clinging from the snapback “I- I was hoping you would accompany me to the homecoming dance this Friday” he confessed as you took the bouquet.

“Oh my god” you gasped at the bouquet.

“Yeah um it has every single flower you have given me” he concluded as you pulled him into a hug.

As soon as he let go you planted a kiss on his soft lips and mentally thanked the universe for letting him into your life no matter what anyone said.

“So that’s a yes” Reggie cheered as you both let go.

“For you, a thousand times over (This is a quote from The Kite Runner)” you smiled.


Tag: @sgarrett49 @oharchiekinz 

Steven Universe Sentence Starters !

Most of these are songs, but some are quotes. You’re welcome to change the pronouns as you see fit!

  • “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.”
  • “Love at first sight doesn’t exist, love takes time and love takes work.”
  • “All comedy is derived from fear.”
  • “Who cares how I feel? How you feel is bound to be much more interesting.”
  • “I never asked to be made!”
  • “I love cookie cat!”
  • “All I wanna be is someone who’s seen a giant woman.”
  • “Why do you have to look up to her?”
  • “I’m telling you for your own good and not because I’m-… jealous.”
  • “I can show you how to be strong in the real way.”
  • “I didn’t even get to know my Mom!”
  • “Squared pizza?! This place is evil!”
  • “I’m not like the other guys.”
  • “In this whole wide world there’s no one like you.”
  • “Could this night get any better?!”
  • “Isn’t it such a beautiful night?”
  • “Let yourself just be whoever you are.”
  • “We’re on the run.”
  • “Wish that I could see that there’s no better place than home…”
  • “I don’t care about what all the others say!”
  • “You people have too much money.”
  • “Well she’s a rip tide queen and she’s super mean.”
  • “I just showed them I don’t got the stuff.”
  • “I tried so hard to fly but I was thrown.”
  • “Have a little faith in me!”
  • “I just wanted to help…”
  • “Some… say I have no direction. That I’m a light speed distraction…”
  • “This is the final frontier.”
  • “Life in the stars is all I’ve ever known.”
  • “I know in my heart it’s been worth it all of the while.”
  • “They’re playing sword. Oh sorry, they’re playing with swords. Oh no they’re bleeding. And they’re dead. Don’t call again.”
  • “Oh! Um… I don’t exactly… eat.”
  • “Is that a weapon?”
  • “Welcome to earth.”
  • “Do you believe in destiny?”
  • “Close your eyes and leave the rest to me.”
  • “What are you doing here?”
  • “What are you doing to me?”
  • “You’re wearing that tee shirt!”
  • “What can I do for you?”
  • “What can I do that no one else can do?”
  • “You are so much fun~”
  • “I hadn’t planned on finding you… quite this entertaining~
  • “I like playing along~”
  • “I can’t believe I just got that on video!”
  • “Quit embarrassing yourself!”
  • “I’ve seen who you really are…”
  • “I ain’t gonna follow your rules.”
  • “Let’s go, just me and you.”
  • “Go ahead and try to hit me if you’re able.”
  • “I think you’re just mad cause you’re single~”
  • “I am made of love.”
  • “I’m stronger than you.”
  • “I won’t let you hurt my friends!”
  • “This is who I am.”
  • “I don’t want that for you…”
  • “What if somehow you get hurt?!”
  • “I have to protect you…”
  • “You’re better not knowing the trouble I’m in.”
  • “You don’t have to be a part of this; I don’t think I want you to be.”
  • “I don’t want you to worry about where I just was or what I just saw.”
  • “You don’t need this… You don’t need me.
  • “C’mon and share this jam with me!”
  • “I’d do it for you.”
  • “I’d do it for him/her.”
  • “Balance is the key.”
  • “Keep your eyes on me.”
  • “Concentrate! Don’t you want him/her to live?!”
  • “Just try and think about the life you’ll have… together after the war!”
  • “When you live for someone you’re prepared to die.”
  • “Maybe you’re better off with him/her…”
  • “I think he’s/she’s better for you.”
  • “I guess I got carried away…”
  • “Is there something I can do to make it up to you?”
  • “I see a tower built out of my mistakes and it all comes crashing down…”
  • “I don’t wanna do this!”
  • “I can’t help it if I make a scene~”
  • “I’ve got a pair of eyes that they’re getting lost in~”
  • “Everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you! So many I can’t even name them, can you blame me? I’m too famous~”
  • “Haven’t you noticed I’m a star?”
  • “What do I do with all this money, when all I want is you?”
  • “How do I spend all this money? I’d rather just spend time with you.”
  • “Let’s go to _____!!! And let’s bring _____!!!!”
  • “100 bucks? Gee thanks!”
  • “Dance with me!”
  • “NO!!!”
  • “After all those years I never thought I’d lose…”
  • “It’s over, isn’t it?”
  • “You won and he/she chose you…”
  • “Now they’re gone…”
  • “Who am I now in this world without him/her?!”
  • “What does it matter?! It’s already done!”
  • “Why don’t you talk to each other?”
  • “I know you’re trying to avoid it, but I don’t know why.”
  • “You might not believe it, but you’ve got a lot in common. You really do.”
  • “You both love me and I love both of you.”
  • “If I were you, I’d hate me too.”
  • “I don’t hate you…”
  • “I now you both need it, someone who knows what you’re going through.”
  • “_____ don’t cost nothing.”
  • “Don’t tell me, sing me!”
  • “Look at everything you do. Look at everything you are. It’s incredible, as incredible as you.”
  • “It’s a full time job admiring all the ways that you’re inspiring.”
  • “I think I need a little change.”
  • “I always did believe that love is all you need to be a happy man/woman.”
  • “Here comes a thought.”
  • “If I could begin to be half of what you think of me, I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love.”
  • “I’d like to learn how to love like you.”
  • “I always thought I might be bad now I’m sure that it’s true; Cause I think you’re so good, but I’m nothing like you.”
  • “Look at you go! I just adore you! I wish that I knew what makes you think I’m so special…”
  • Not so fast Morty ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿป you heard your mom ๐Ÿ™Ž๐Ÿผ we’ve got adventures ๐Ÿ”ฅ to go on Morty ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‘Œ Just you ๐Ÿ”ซ and me ๐Ÿ‘จ‍๐Ÿ”ฌ๐Ÿ”ซ and sometimes your sister ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ“ฑ and sometimes your mom ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿผ‍โš•๏ธ๐ŸŽ but โ€ผ๏ธ NEVER โœ‹ your ๐Ÿ˜ค dad! โŒ๐Ÿ˜ท You wanna ๐Ÿ™ˆ know why Morty? ๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ’ฏ Because he CROSSED me ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ™…‍โ™‚๏ธ Oh ๐Ÿ˜ต it gets darker Morty ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒš Welcome ๐Ÿ‘ฝ to the ๐Ÿ˜ญ darkest ๐Ÿ˜ˆ year of our ๐Ÿ‘จ‍๐Ÿ‘ฆadventures ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜ซ First 1๏ธโƒฃ thing that’s ๐Ÿ‘ฉ‍๐ŸŽค different โ‰๏ธ No more dad Morty ๐Ÿ†’ He threatened ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘Ž to turn me in ๐Ÿ™‹‍โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฎ to the government ๐Ÿ˜“ so I made him ๐Ÿ€ and the government ๐Ÿ’ฉ go away ๐Ÿ–• I repla๐Ÿ˜–ced them both ๐ŸŒœ๐ŸŒ›as the ๐Ÿ˜ˆ defacto ๐Ÿคก patriarch ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป of your family ๐Ÿ‘จ‍๐Ÿ‘ง‍๐Ÿ‘ฆand ๐Ÿ˜ฒ your universe ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ™Œ Your mom ๐ŸŽ wouldn’t have ๐Ÿ‘‹ accepted me if I came home ๐Ÿก without you ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿป and your sister ๐Ÿ‘ฑ‍โ™€๏ธ so now you know ๐ŸŽ“ the real ๐Ÿ’ฏ reason ๐ŸŒŸ I rescued you ๐Ÿ‘ I JUST ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿผ TOOK OVER ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ˜ต THE FAMILY ๐Ÿ‘จ‍๐Ÿ‘ง‍๐Ÿ‘ฆ MORTY ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป‍โ™‚๏ธ And ๐Ÿ‘€ if you tell your mom or sister ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿผ‍โš•๏ธ๐Ÿ’ I said any of this ๐Ÿ™Š I’ll deny it ๐Ÿ™…‍โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ค And ๐Ÿ˜ they’ll take my side ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ‘ซ because I’m a hero ๐Ÿ† Morty ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ And now ๐Ÿ‘Š you’re gonna have to do ๐Ÿ’ whatever I say ๐Ÿ˜ Morty ๐Ÿ˜ฅ Forever ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•”๐Ÿ•ค๐Ÿ•™๐Ÿ’€ And I’ll go out ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผ and find ๐Ÿ”ญ some more ๐Ÿ™€ of that ๐Ÿ‘… Mulan ๐Ÿฅ‹๐ŸŽŽ Szechuan ๐Ÿ‰๐ŸฎTeriyaki ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ’ฆ dipping sauce ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ™ Morty ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ™Œ Because that’s ๐Ÿ‘‰ what this ๐ŸŽ‰ is all about Morty ๐Ÿ— That’s my 1๏ธโƒฃ one โ˜๏ธ arm man I’m not โŒ driven ๐Ÿš˜ by avenging โœŠ๐Ÿป my dead ๐Ÿ’€ family ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ‘จ‍๐Ÿ‘ฉ‍๐Ÿ‘ง Morty ๐Ÿ’ง That was ๐Ÿ™‰ FAKE โœจ I’m ๐Ÿ‘จ‍๐Ÿ”ฌ driven ๐Ÿ’จ by finding ๐Ÿ‘€ that ๐Ÿ˜ฉ McNugget ๐ŸŸ Sauce ๐Ÿ’ฆ I want ๐Ÿ˜ฑ that ๐Ÿ˜ณ Mulan ๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿฅ‹ McNugget Sauce ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆMorty ๐Ÿ˜ญ That’s ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ my series ๐ŸŽฌ arc ๐ŸŒˆ Morty ๐Ÿ‘‘ If it takes โค๏ธ 9 โค๏ธ seasons โค๏ธ I WANT ๐Ÿ˜ซ MY ๐Ÿ‘ MCNUGGET ๐Ÿ—๐ŸŸ DIPPING SAUCE ๐Ÿ’ฆSZECHUAN ๐Ÿ”ฅ SAUCE MORTY ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ต IT’S GONNA TAKE ๐Ÿš€ US ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿป‍โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป ALL THE WAY ๐Ÿ’ซ TO ๐Ÿ‘‰ THE ๐Ÿ‘‰ END MORTY ๐Ÿ 9๏ธโƒฃ MORE ๐Ÿ’ฐ SEASONS ๐Ÿค– MORTY ๐Ÿ’Ž 9๏ธโƒฃ MORE SEASONS ๐Ÿ™Œ UNTIL I GET ๐ŸŽ THAT ๐Ÿ˜ DIPPING โ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ”ฅ SZECHUAN ๐ŸŽŽ SAUCE ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฉ FOR 9๏ธโƒฃ7๏ธโƒฃ MORE YEARS โŒ›๏ธ๐Ÿ•ฐ MORTY ๐Ÿ’€ I ๐Ÿ‘ WANT ๐Ÿ‘ THAT ๐Ÿ‘ MCNUGGET ๐Ÿ‘ SAUCE ๐Ÿ‘ MORTY ๐Ÿ‘
Things I learned you’ll actually need for your dorm after one year of college that you probably won’t see on pinterest

So, I recently finished my first year at college (which was definitely an adventure, and probably one of the best years of my life so far) and I’ve made a few mistakes, but none that couldn’t be fixed. For example, I really didn’t do adequate research as to what I’ll actually need for my dorm room because I was too busy fantasizing how I was gonna diy decorate my dorm room into a pinterest masterpiece. Anyway, I quickly learned my lesson.

Basically, your dorm room isn’t just for display. You live there. It’s gonna get messy, it’s gonna have to store a lot of stuff, and you’re not always going to have time to keep it in pristine condition because life gets crazy. But you can deal with it, I promise, and for all the new freshman prepping for their first dorm experience, I want to give some advice on how you can be prepared for what college life actually hits you with.

Alright, so I actually ended up being in a triple (so I had two roommates) which meant I had even less space than the average broom-closet sized dorm room and I had two people I had to get along with. Thankfully, we all ended up being really close and very considerate of each other, and I am incredibly grateful for it. We learned our lessons together, and this is the list of stuff we came up with:

1. Vacuum: Get a real vacuum, maybe a cheap one (not like a crazy dyson), but a real one. Not just a handheld one (like we had) because it won’t be enough. Girls shed hair. A lot. (especially three long haired girls like us) People might accidentally spill a bag of powdered sugar on your rug, or you might rip open a bag of cereal a little too vigorously, or, more seriously, you might break something like glass and you don’t want anyone cutting open their foot on a shard. 

2. Swiffer: If your floor was linoleum like ours (that’s why we needed a rug, which I’ll mention later), then it will get dusty and dirty. Having a swiffer is just nice to have because once you vacuum your rug clean, you don’t want the dirt on the linoleum getting on the rug. Plus, it’s gonna a rain and there’s gonna be mud. It’s gross.

3. Brita filter: So my dorm was actually the absolute best freshman dorm not just because the people were amazing, but because we had sinks. IN OUR ROOMS. It is just so CONVENIENT. Anyway, I am fully aware that not everyone is as lucky as us and the only sinks will be in the bathroom. A Brita filter pitcher is nice to keep in your fridge because you can have fresh clean in your room at any given moment.

4. Trash can: We had three in our room for each person but they kinda ended up being shared based on location in the room, but yeah. You need somewhere to throw away stuff.

5. Plastic bags or just garbage bags: And not only do you need a place to throw away stuff, you need plastic bags or garbage bags for clean disposal. And trash piles up real fast in your tiny room, so you’ll need to replenish these bags very often. I learned from my mom that you always have a place to store your plastic bags, and so we had a designated plastic bag drawer where we kept all the bags from our local campus convenience store, or the drug store, or wherever. Trust me, it’s saved lives. (as in, barf bags)

6. Command hooks: So we had to bunk two beds and loft another to have enough room and it’s kind of a pain in the ass to constantly climb down to throw something out so we had a trash bag hanging from a command hook on my roommate’s lofted bed and yeah. That bag has saved lives. (same situation as above) Plus, you can hang hats, bags, towels, little caddies for your toothbrush off of these hooks and it’s just so nice because you don’t lose things.

7. Clorox wipes: Again, stuff gets gross, and you’ll unfortunately need to clean things (ie your mom doesn’t clean everything for you anymore). Have two packs stored because you never know.

8. Dish soap: Real dishes need to be washed well, or else you’ll get sick.

9. Sponges: For the dish soap. And the dishes.

10. Windex: For our mirror, which we wrote on with washable marker, and I killed ants with it too. 

11. Storage for food: Something airtight so bugs can’t get to it, like a trunk. We also had mice sometimes go into our vents. And then into people’s rooms. They’re looking for a warm place to hide, and food. Don’t leave food out is the lesson. But also have food in your room! Our room was well known to always have food and its really nice when you’re staying up late and everything is closed.

12. Tissues: Freshman plague is so real. You will most certainly get it, and probably several times too. 

13. Vitamins and medicine: Your immune system is gonna get a work out in college. Help it out with some vitamin C tablets. Have some tylenol or advil for headaches and aches and pains. And side note, if you’re really sick, just go to the health center, you don’t have to suffer through it.

14. Slippers: Get a comfy, cheap pair (because sometimes dorm hallways are gross, especially on the weekends) that you can wear all around your building and still be comfy.

15. Power strip: So much stuff needs to be plugged in and you definitely won’t have enough outlets between you and your roommate(s).

16. Printer: Okay, this seems a little unreasonable, but we were lucky because my one roommate had a spare one at home (how though??) and I have frequently said it is my favorite thing in our room. It has come in clutch so many times. But if you have a campus printer near you, or if its too expensive, it’s fine not to have one. But if you do get one, I would recommend getting one that is NOT wireless. University wifi doesn’t like you using other wifi (ie it won’t work). Get a printer that has a cable.

17. Plastic plates and forks: We have real dishes and silverware too, but plastic stuff is just easier clean up.

18. Rug: I almost forgot about this one.The floor gets cold and a rug also makes a room feel homier. You and your friends are gonna sit there and bond all that fun stuff, and someone might even sleepover on it (if they have a sleeping bag).

19. Chairs: So we actually didn’t have any other chairs other than the ones that university gave us for our desks and those are okay and everything, but some of our friends had these amazing, foldable, springy chairs that were so comfortable and also a lot of fun, and I am definitely getting one for my room next year. 

Other things you might need but might forget (maybe?):

Razors

Umbrella

Rain boots

Rain coat

Extra towels

Contact solution

Favorite mug

Tea

Stapler

Make up wipes

Facials

Lamp

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, you’ll definitely need other things (like a fridge, microwave, sheets, pillows, decorations, etc), or see that you really don’t need some of the things I’ve mentioned. Honestly, do what you feel is best and good luck! I loved my first year at college! Like basically everyone, I had some trouble adjusting at first. I felt pretty lonely in the beginning too, but once you start going, things start to fall into place. I met some great people, had some great classes, and honestly, I’m going to miss my first year–even with all the excitement of being an upperclassman next semester.

I hope this helped and that you have just as great of an experience in your first year as I did–actually, even better!

My dear daughters who love girls, 

Only you can decide which label you feel most comfortable with. 

Sapphic? Wlw? Lesbian? Gay? All of that are valid and good labels.  

More “complicated” labels like homoromantic asexual or demi-biromantic lesbian? They’re valid, too! Don’t worry about using “too many” or “too complicated” labels. You’re allowed to express your feelings as specific as you want. 

Not interested in labels? “I don’t know, i just really like girls”? “My girlfriend is called Svenja, so i think of myself as Svenja-sexual”? Wonderful! You don’t need to put a label on yourself if you don’t want to. You’re still valid and your feelings are real. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom  

Lena and Kara: A Concept

- Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers falling in love and getting married and sharing a look when they open the cheese fondue set from J’onn at their wedding reception.

- Supergirl rescuing a baby from a house fire

- Lena waking up to the sound of a baby’s cries in the dead of night

- Kara explaining, teary eyed, that protective services won’t be open until monday and the baby was the only one who made it out and she didn’t want to leave her in the hospital over the weekend

- Lena melting too because between the two of them they know better than anyone what it’s like to be orphaned

- Kara and Lena keeping the baby and raising her as their daughter

- Kara not wanting to reveal her superhero identity to their kid because she wants her to have a normal life

- The kid being a total mama’s girl and thinking Lena is the greatest woman alive and parading her around at show and tell like ‘that’s my mom and one day i’m going to run L-Corp just like she does.’

- Kara getting jealous so she shows up to show and tell like ‘ah hah! guess what! I know your mom Kara and we’re real best buds and here kids! CANDY FOR EVERYONE!’

- Their kid thinking Kara is literally the geekiest boringest mom ever because aunt Alex is a DEO agent and uncle J’onn is the director of the DEO and her godmother Cat runs CatCo and Lena can’t get enough of being the cool mom

“One day she’s going to find out you know, summer can’t last forever.” Kara warns her with a little side glance as she crawls into bed.

“I know, I know…” Lena sighs and takes the glasses off of Kara’s face that she doesn’t need but it’s become too much of a habit. “Just let me enjoy it whilst it lasts?”

- Kara just mumbling to herself but actually deep down loving the fact she’s boring mom #1 because all she’s ever wanted is just to be normal and fit in

POPULAR TEXT POSTS + ASK MEME  (  PART 3  )

❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜
❛ idc (i do care) ❜
❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜
❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜
❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜
❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜
❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜
❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜
❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜
❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜
❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜
❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜
❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜
❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜
❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜
❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜
❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜
❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜
❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜
❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜
❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜
❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜
❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜
❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜
❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜
❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜
❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜
❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜
❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜
❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜
❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜
❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜
❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜
❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜
❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜
❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜
❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜
❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜
❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜
❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜
❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜
❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜
❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜
❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜
❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜
❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜
❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜
❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜
❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜
❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜
❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back  ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜
❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜
❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜
❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  my way through life ❜
❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜
❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜
❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜
❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜
❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜
❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜
❛ me? cancelled ❜
❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜
❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜
❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜
❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜
❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜
❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜
❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜
❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜
❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜
❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜
❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜
❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜
❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜
❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜
❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜
❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜
❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜
❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜
❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜
❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜
❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜
❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜
❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜
❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜
❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜
❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜
❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜
❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜
❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜
❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜

(  you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2 )

An actual cute story where I don't hate anyone

So I know from experience that girls from 5-15 have this tendency to want to talk to older girls and want to impress them. I was like that as a teen, so whenever a girl in that age range comes in and kinda shyly starts talking to me I’m always attentive, because I know it will make them feel cool.
No idea why, I’m the lamest 20 something ever, but I have piercings and a car so I guess I’m cool to anyone too young to drive. Whatever.

So yesterday this 6 year old comes over while her mom is picking up her glasses and she starts off with:

“I lost my tooth last night.”
So I play along.
“That’s awesome, did the tooth fairy bring you anything?”
“I got a dollar!”
“Wow, that’s a lot. I used to get 25 cents.”
“Yeah” then she whispers “…my mom is the tooth fairy.”
I’m not going to step on that landmine, so I say.
“Really! How did she know when I lost a tooth when I was little?” Thinking the girl would clarify that the tooth fairy wasn’t real and that my parent’s put the money there. But no, the girl shrugged and just goes.

“My mom has superpowers.” Whispered like it’s the biggest secret in the world. And then goes on to tell me this story about how her mom has a special tower where she keeps the teeth and the teeth have memories in them and it was the most adorable thing ever.

Made my day so much better.

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different?! No more dad, Morty! He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away! I replaced them both as the defacto patriarch of your family and your universe! Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister so now you know the real reason I rescued you! I JUST TOOK OVER THE FAMILY MORTY! And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it! And they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Morty! And now you’re gonna have to do whatever I say, Morty! Forever! And I’ll go out and find some more of that Mulan Szechuan Teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty, because that’s what this is all about, Morty! That’s my one arm man! I’m not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! That was FAKE! I’m driven by finding that McNugget Sauce! I want that Mulan McNugget Sauce, Morty! That’s my series arc, Morty! If it takes 9 seasons, I WANT MY MCNUGGET DIPPING SAUCE! SZECHUAN SAUCE, MORTY! IT’S GONNA TAKE US ALL THE WAY TO THE END, MORTY! 9 MORE SEASONS, MORTY! 9 MORE SEASONS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING SZECHUAN SAUCE! FOR 97 MORE YEARS, MORTY! I WANT THAT MCNUGGET SAUCE, MORTY!!

Not so fast 🏃🏃🏃 Morty🙎🙎, you heard 👂🔊 your mom 💁👪. We’ve got adventures 🚀🚀🚀🚀👌 to go on Morty. Just you🙎 and me👴. And sometimes your sister👧 and sometimes your mom👱 but never 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫❌❌your dad👷. You wanna know⁉⁉ why⁉ Morty🙎? Because he 🕇🕇🕇crossed🕆🕆🕆 me. Oh it gets darker🌑🌑☀ Morty🙎. Welcome to the darkest ☀☀year of our adventures. First⚀☝ thing that’s different👏, no👏❌ more👏❌ dad👏❌ Morty🙎🙎. He threatened 🚫to turn me in🔒🔒🔒🔒 to the government🏛🗽🏛. So I made him👷 and the government🏛 go away✋🖐🖑👋👐. I’ve replaced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family 👪👪and your universe🌠☄. Your mom👱 wouldn’t have accepted me✔✔ if I came home🏘🏠🏠 without you and your sister🙎👧, so now you know the real reason I rescued🏨🏥 you. I just took over the family Morty👪👴👴 and if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I’ll deny it❌🚫❌🚫. And they’ll take my side✔✔✔ because I’m a hero🔖🎺🎺🌍 Morty. And now you’re gonna go 🏃🏃and do whatever I say🏃🏇 Morty. Forever⬆⬆. And I’ll go out🏃 and I’ll find some more of that Mulan Szeschuan👏 Teriyaki👏 dipping sauce🍱🍗 Morty. Because that’s what this is all about Morty🍗🍗. That’s my one-arm💪💪 man👨. I’m not driven by avenging my dead🛇🛇🚫🚫 family🔝 Morty. That was fake❌❎. I’m driven by finding🔎🔎🔎🔎 that Mcnugget sauce🍗🍱🍗🍱. I want that Mulan 🍗Mcnugget🍱 sauce 👏Morty. That’s my series arc ↗↗Morty. If it takes nine⚅⚂ seasons. I want my Mcnugget dipping sauce Szeschuan sauce 👅💦💦💦💦👅💦Morty. That’s what’s going to take us all the way ➡➡➡➡to the end🔚 Morty. Season nine⚅⚂ more seasons Morty. ⚅⚂Nine more seasons until I get that dipping 🖓🖓Szeschuan sauce👏. For ninety-seven ⚅⚂⚄⚁more years Morty🙎. I want that Mcnugget🍱🍱🍗 sauce Morty🙎.