not my personal cup of tea

things i'm looking forward to in autumn
  • foggy and misty mornings 
  • wet hair and cold hands 
  • walking through crunchy golden and mahogany leaves
  • cozy blanket forts with books
  • the excitement of christmas
  • too many cups of tea to count
  • being bundled up in coats and scarves and gloves
  • crispy dewy morning air
  • re-reading harry potter
  • listening piano music accompanied by the whisper of rain
  • putting feet next to the warmth of a heated vent
  • bright stars and constellations in the autumn night sky
  • the smell of homemade pumpkin pie in the oven
  • heavy rainfall pummeling the roof
Your Character’s Personality

Personality is the most important thing about your character.

So, whenever I see character sheets, most people just put a little paragraph for that section. If you’re struggling and don’t know what your character should say or do, what decisions they should make, I guarantee you that this is the problem.

You know your character’s name, age, race, sexuality, height, weight, eye color, hair color, their parents’ and siblings’ names. But these are not the things that truly matter about them.

Traits: 

  • pick traits that don’t necessarily go together. For example, someone who is controlling, aggressive and vain can also be generous, sensitive and soft-spoken. Characters need to have at least one flaw that really impacts how they interact with others. Positive traits can work as flaws, too. It is advised that you pick at least ten traits
  • people are complex, full of contradictions, and please forgive me if this makes anyone uncomfortable, but even bullies can be “nice” people. Anyone can be a “bad” person, even someone who is polite, kind, helpful or timid can also be narcissistic, annoying, inconsiderate and a liar. People are not just “evil” or “good”

Beliefs:

  • ideas or thoughts that your character has or thinks about the world, society, others or themselves, even without proof or evidence, or which may or may not be true. Beliefs can contradict their values, motives, self-image, etc. For example, the belief that they are an awesome and responsible person when their traits are lazy, irresponsible and shallow. Their self-image and any beliefs they have about themselves may or may not be similar/the same. They might have a poor self-image, but still believe they’re better than everybody else

Values:

  • what your character thinks is important. Usually influenced by beliefs, their self-image, their history, etc. Some values may contradict their beliefs, wants, traits, or even other values. For example, your character may value being respect, but one of their traits is disrespectful. It is advised you list at least two values, and know which one they value more. For example, your character values justice and family. Their sister tells them she just stole $200 from her teacher’s wallet. Do they tell on her, or do they let her keep the money: justice, or family? Either way, your character probably has some negative feelings, guilt, anger, etc., over betraying their other value

Motives:

  • what your character wants. It can be abstract or something tangible. For example, wanting to be adored or wanting that job to pay for their father’s medication. Motives can contradict their beliefs, traits, values, behavior, or even other motives. For example, your character may want to be a good person, but their traits are selfish, manipulative, and narcissistic. Motives can be long term or short term. Everyone has wants, whether they realize it or not. You can write “they don’t know what they want,” but you should know. It is advised that you list at least one abstract want

Recurring Feelings:

  • feelings that they have throughout most of their life. If you put them down as a trait, it is likely they are also recurring feelings. For example, depressed, lonely, happy, etc.

Self Image:

  • what the character thinks of themselves: their self-esteem. Some character are proud of themselves, others are ashamed of themselves, etc. They may think they are not good enough, or think they are the smartest person in the world. Their self-image can contradict their beliefs, traits, values, behavior, motives, etc. For example, if their self-image is poor, they can still be a cheerful or optimistic person. If they have a positive self-image, they can still be a depressed or negative person. How they picture themselves may or may not be true: maybe they think they’re a horrible person, when they are, in fact, very considerate, helpful, kind, generous, patient, etc. They still have flaws, but flaws don’t necessarily make you a terrible person

Behavior:

  • how the character’s traits, values, beliefs, self-image, etc., are outwardly displayed: how they act. For example, two characters may have the trait “angry” but they all probably express it differently. One character may be quiet and want to be left alone when they are angry, the other could become verbally aggressive. If your character is a liar, do they pause before lying, or do they suddenly speak very carefully when they normally don’t? Someone who is inconsiderate may have issues with boundaries or eat the last piece of pizza in the fridge when they knew it wasn’t theirs. Behavior is extremely important and it is advised you think long and hard about your character’s actions and what exactly it shows about them

Demeanor:

  • their general mood and disposition. Maybe they’re usually quiet, cheerful, moody, or irritable, etc.

Posture:

  • a secondary part of your character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Posture is how the character carries themselves. For example, perhaps they swing their arms and keep their shoulders back while they walk, which seems to be the posture of a confident person, so when they sit, their legs are probably open. Another character may slump and have their arms folded when they’re sitting, and when they’re walking, perhaps they drag their feet and look at the ground

Speech Pattern:

  • a secondary part of your character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Speech patterns can be words that your character uses frequently, if they speak clearly, what sort of grammar they use, if they have a wide vocabulary, a small vocabulary, if it’s sophisticated, crude, stammering, repeating themselves, etc. I personally don’t have a very wide vocabulary, if you could tell

Hobbies:

  • a secondary part of your character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Hobbies can include things like drawing, writing, playing an instrument, collecting rocks, collecting tea cups, etc.

Quirks:

  • a secondary part of your character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Quirks are behaviors that are unique to your character. For example, I personally always put my socks on inside out and check the ceiling for spiders a few times a day

Likes:

  • a secondary part of your character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Likes and dislikes are usually connected to the rest of their personality, but not necessarily. For example, if your character likes to do other people’s homework, maybe it’s because they want to be appreciated

Dislikes:

  • a secondary part of your character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Likes and dislikes can also contradict the rest of their personality. For example, maybe one of your character’s traits is dishonest, but they dislike liars

History:

  • your character’s past that has key events that influence and shape their beliefs, values, behavior, wants, self-image, etc. Events written down should imply or explain why they are the way they are. For example, if your character is distrustful, maybe they were lied to a lot by their parents when they were a child. Maybe they were in a relationship for twenty years and found out their partner was cheating on them the whole time. If their motive/want is to have positive attention, maybe their parents just didn’t praise them enough and focused too much on the negative

On Mental and Physical Disabilities or Illnesses

  • if your character experienced a trauma, it needs to have an affect on your character. Maybe they became more angry or impatient or critical of others. Maybe their beliefs on people changed to become “even bullies can be ‘nice’ people: anyone can be a ‘bad’ person”
  • people are not their illness or disability: it should not be their defining trait. I have health anxiety, but I’m still idealistic, lazy, considerate, impatient and occasionally spiteful; I still want to become an author; I still believe that people are generally good; I still value doing what make me feel comfortable; I still have a positive self-image; I’m still a person. You should fill out your character’s personality at least half-way before you even touch on the possibility of your character having a disability or illness

Generally everything about your character should connect, but hey, even twins that grew up in the same exact household have different personalities; they value different things, have different beliefs. Maybe one of them watched a movie that had a huge impact on them.

Not everything needs to be explained. Someone can be picky or fussy ever since they were little for no reason at all. Someone can be a negative person even if they grew up in a happy home.

I believe this is a thought out layout for making well-rounded OCs, antagonists and protagonists, whether they’re being created for a roleplay or for a book. This layout is also helpful for studying Canon Characters if you’re looking to accurately roleplay as them or write them in fanfiction or whatever.

I’m really excited to post this, so hopefully I didn’t miss anything important…

If you have any questions, feel free to send a message.

- Chick

anonymous asked:

What are some of the major differences between autism and ADD/ADHD? Stuff like impulse control, executive function issues, stimming etc are pretty common to both of them, and i know a good handful of autistic people (myself included) who got misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD as a kid. And the fact that the two can be comorbid just makes it more confusing

eokay so first of all: i have both. so of course i cannot distinguish between both, because both are “me”. so i’m making the distinction by what i read more often in ADHD or autism contexts.

the things i’m listing are not diagnostic criteria, just things that i have seen talked about often. you might not relate to all of them even if you have ADHD / autism. additionally, having one or a few traits of something does not mean you definitely have it, but if you go “yes! that’s me!” at most or all of them, you might check the thing out more thoroughly.

there’s a summary at the end

things that are more ADHD and less autism:

impulsivity. i get an idea and then i immediately drop whatever i am doing (often quite literally) and do the other thing. for example: i am preparing a sandwidch. i am in the process of putting butter on the bread. then i think: i want tea. in that same second i drop the knife, on the floor, turn around to the water boiler and switch it on. then i realize that dropping the knife was probably not such a good idea because it’s dirty now. 

getting distracted. not by anything specifically, just.. anything. for example, i opened this ask and wanted to answer. then i got distracted for 15 minutes and forgot all about it until i accidentally opened this tab again. i described this in this slightly funny post: my general idea of functioning is getting distracted often enough so that i eventually come back to the thing i was originally doing.

constantly forgetting what you were just doing or thinking. this is pretty much what leads to both being easily distracted and impulsivity. it’s more than just forgetting. it is completely forgetting about the idea of a thing possibly occurring. you’re having an intense, captivating tumblr chat with someone and then you go to the bathroom and it is gone from your brain. you go bake some cookies, read a book, cut your hair, and when you come back to the computer it’s ohhhhh shit i was having a conversation until i suddenly disappeared… 3 hours ago.

being unable to sit still ever. it is more than just stimming. it is stimming 120% of the time. it is doing multiple stims at the same time always. i CAN not sit still. it does not happen. i am unable to not stim. 

hyperfocusing randomly. like what i am doing with this post right now. i started typing and then i got completely caught up on it and now i cannot stop and i forget the time and anything else i was going to do because this post is my world now and i. must. finish.

hyperactivity. i cannot describe this better than ALALAL ALALALA KLHADFUILSDHFJKUIEF!!!!!!!!!! LKSKSHALALALAL!!!!!!!!! it’s jumping around the room. running up the walls. sitting upside-down on your chair while screaming from laughter. spamming your twitter with 200 tweets that just say “CACTUS!!!!!!!!!! MOLAR TOOTH!!! CACTUS!!!!!!!” while laughing your ass off. 

losing every object. always. misplacing objects that you were actually using just now. pencils, headphones, jewellery, coffee cup, everything. where is my phone that i was using 20 seconds ago? i have no idea. 3 hours later i find it in the laundry basket. or on some door handle. losing ridiculously large objects that you cannot possibly lose and being unable to locate them for hours. objects that i have misplaced inside a 40 square meters apartment: laundry basket, mattress, chairs, tables, small oven, computer, and many others. you get the idea.

forgetting plans and appointments and everything really. i recently learned that some people can actually keep complex plans in their heads. a fellow autistic explained me that he can remember everything he needs to do and lie it down neatly in his mind. i don’t think every autistic is as good with that as he is, but most people have some sort of idea what their next big tasks are. i don’t. i don’t even know where i wrote them down. i also forget appointments because even if i remember that i have plans for wednesday, that does not automatically mean that i realize when wednesday is happening.

addiction to distraction and entertainment. boredom is torture, and i don’t mean that as an exaggeration. sitting in a waiting room drives you up the wall, sometimes quite literally. forgetting your phone is not just irritating and means you have to read the cereal box. no. you build a tower out of the cereal boxes and jump on the table. when the party is going slow you collect all the paper flyers and fold 100 airplanes and shred the rest of the flyers to pieces. not being able to concentrate without loud music in the background. 

things that are more autism and less ADHD:

sensory hypersensitivities. not just getting distracted or annoyed by bad sensory input, but actually getting hurt and deeply uncomfortable. not being able to even sit near someone with deodorant on. starting to cry whenever you get cold. ripping your shirt off because the tag was too scratchy. 

sensory hyposensitivities. not being able to feel the pain from scratches. not being able to enjoy music unless it is ridiculously loud drumming against your ears, while not being hard of hearing. only being able to calm down when something is pressing against your ribcage so hard you can hardly breathe. enjoying bright flickering lights right against your eyeballs. 

the bliss that stimming is. it is not just “something that feels pleasant”. it is something that makes you feel whole. it is something that puts you in a place where everything is good and right and the right stim fills you up with pure bliss. you soak it up like a sponge and you feel like you’re flying and it’s the best thing. it clears your mind and soothes your soul.

the overwhelm of sensory overload. you literally cannot function in a loud, crowded area. sensory overload makes you forget how to think. you immediately shut down or meltdown. you become helpless. you can not get yourself out of this situation safely. you get lost. you are unable to figure out a way to get out of the situation. you can get in real danger because of sensory overload if you do not have help or luck. 

auditory and visual processing difficulties. needing subtitles for every movie you watch, even though you are neither Deaf nor hard of hearing. constantly going “what? say that again? HUH?? i can’t hear you over that noise!” while everyone around you is conversing easily. being unable to decipher an image quickly. being unable to read maps or flowcharts.

trouble with verbal communication. you might be nonverbal sometimes or always. you might have problems saying the right words. you might rely on scripting heavily, that means you have fixed rules of what to say in which situations. you might be unable to react if your script stops working because someone says something unexpected. you might be unable to say what you mean because you cannot find words fast enough. you might say things that you do NOT mean because you have heard them somewhere so the words are more easily found. 

trouble with nonverbal communication. not being able to read tone of voice, facial impressions and allistic body language. constantly being misinterpreted because you make the “wrong” body language or facial impressions or tone. not being able to recognize irony and jokes because you can’t take the subtle hints that people give about them. not being able to interpret emojis and emoticons. not being able to recognize the difference between “hello”, “hello!” and “hello…”. coming off across as “rude”, “weird”, “scary” or something else that you are not. 

being unable to figure out social rules and conventions. why do you always have to answer “fine” to the question “how are you?”? why does a person think that i hate them just because i do not like talking to them? why do people think i like them just because i was talking to them? which people do you call by their first name and which by their last name? why do people laugh about me just because i hugged my teacher? nobody laughs when i hug my friend.

relying on sameness, rules, schedules and rituals. no, i cannot drink tea out of the coffee cup. it Does Not Work. i cannot sleep without my squishy pillow. i cannot wear my Outside clothes inside. when i make a plan, things have to go EXACTLY as planned or i melt down. i cry when i lose my favourite stim toy. it can also mean: having to do the same things every day at the same time. getting overwhelmed by changes. not being able to function in an unfamiliar schedule. not being able to do things out of order. not being able to sleep with the Wrong sheets. not being able to eat from red dishes. and many others.

things that are both autism and ADHD:

needing to fidget or stim. being unable to concentrate or calm down without moving or specific sensory input. not being able to function properly when not allowed to stim. shutting or melting down when not being able to stim. 

special interests or hyperfixations. “special interest” is the autism term and “hyperfixation” is the ADHD term. it means fixating on a certain subject so intensely that you can hardly think about anything else. some people learn subjects very deeply in a very short time. it means getting caught up in it. it’s what you think about in every second. like being in love, only with a subject instead of a person.

living in a fantasy world. retreating into a safe space to escape from a world that is not very kind to us. hyperfixating on a story or a fantasy world or dreamworld as an interest, either as a refuge or as a special interest or both.

trouble with socializing. being ridiculed for being “weird”. being unable to function well in social situations because of your specific disabilities. having a hard time maintaining friendships and other social relationships.

appearing eccentric. dressing and behaving in unusual ways. having unconventional interests and hobbies. being unable to connect with most other people, being the “different” person in most groups. having social positions such as the “class clown” or “the outcast” - entertaining everyone else or distancing yourself from everyone else. 

appearing childlike or younger than you are. never getting rid off childlike behaviours. stimming and fidgeting because you like it or because it helps. not caring about how you look. having hobbies and interests that are seen as “childish”. impulsive actions that appear childlike. behaviour that is seen as childlike.

executive dysfunction. being unable to do things even though you really want to do them. being unable to start tasks or switch tasks. being unable to recall what you know in an unfamiliar situation. being unable to figure out the steps necessary for completing a task. 

reactions to over- and understimulations. you might start to fidget or stim. you might try to get away or get angry or cry because things are too much or because there’s not enough stimulation. you might fall asleep in class because it’s too little stimulation. you might cry in class because it’s too much stimulation.

meltdowns / shutdowns. having reactions that are stronger than is deemed appropriate to negative things like adverse sensory input, emotional stress, etc. that means breaking down crying from small things, having rage fits over small things going wrong, or on the other side completely shutting down, flopping on the floor, freezing in place etc. in case of under- or overstimulation or emotional stress.

developing anxiety or depression. social or generalized anxiety as well as depression are common in people with ADHD and autistics because we often get bullied, our disabilities are often exploited to hurt us, and we may get excluded, ridiculed and hurt on a regular basis. we might despair because we never seem to fit in. we might overcompensate and overtax ourselves in order to appear “normal”. we might burn out as a result.

creativity and unconventional thinking. getting ideas that nobody else has. making connections nobody else would even think of. being good at finding similarities, patterns, and differences. 

daydreaming and spacing out. shutting down or simply daydreaming your way through situations that you cannot function in because of your specific disabilities. forgetting what you were doing and just dreaming away. getting lost in thoughts. dissociating from adverse sensory input. escaping from the reality that is hard to bear or just getting distracted. 

getting caught up in a task. hyperfocusing on a thing that you are doing or being unable to initiate the end of an action. being unable to interrupt your train of thought or action. being unable to switch tasks. 


summary

i don’t claim completeness for this list. so.

more ADHD than autism:

  • impulsivity
  • getting distracted
  • constantly forgetting what you were just doing or thinking
  • being unable to sit still ever
  • hyperfocusing randomly
  • hyperactivity
  • losing every object. always
  • forgetting plans and appointments and everything really
  • addiction to distraction and entertainment

more autism than ADHD:

  • sensory hypersensitivities
  • sensory hyposensitivities
  • the bliss that stimming is
  • the overwhelm of sensory overload
  • auditory and visual processing difficulties
  • trouble with verbal communication
  • trouble with nonverbal communication
  • being unable to figure out social rules and conventions
  • relying on sameness, rules, schedules and rituals

both autism and ADHD:

  • needing to fidget or stim
  • special interests or hyperfixations
  • living in a fantasy world
  • trouble with socializing
  • appearing eccentric
  • appearing childlike or younger than you are
  • executive dysfunction
  • reactions to over- and understimulations
  • meltdowns / shutdowns
  • developing anxiety or depression
  • creativity and unconventional thinking
  • daydreaming and spacing out
  • getting caught up in a task

so that got a lot more elaborate than i was planning… anyway. i hope it answers your question, anon

-lhmod

Originally posted by sadsaru

☕️💕🥀 Vanilla Rose Coffee ☕️💕🥀

  • ½ cup water
  • ½ cup brown sugar
  • 1 ½ Tbs vanilla extract
  • 3 Tbs rose petals

Pour water and sugar into a small saucepan over medium heat and stir. Once the sugar is dissolved, add the vanilla and rose petals and switch to low heat. Let brew for about 8 minutes, and then strain. Add about a teaspoon to your coffee and a splash of cream if you’d like. Enjoy!!

🌹‘Amortentia’ Tea 🌹

inspired by jk rowling’s “Amortentia“, a potion-drink to bring you self love or strengthen love with another

Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what attracts them.

🌹 1 rose bud

🌹 1 tsp orange extract

🌹 1 cup black tea

🌹 1 tbsp black pepper

🌹 dried orange slices

🌹 cinnamon to taste

🌹 cardamom to taste

🌹 steep 3-5 minutes

2

me: you haven’t played those games in years, jen, and “the legend of”-series wasn’t even your cup of tea!
also me: yea that’s true but 1. I liked Cynder and 2. it’s cute n gay so shut up

How to be productive

My tips may look weird, but when I’m following them, I’m able to deal with all my problems and stay healthy both physically and mentally. I’m ESTJ, btw.

My student life in a few words:

  • a way to university takes from 1h 30 min to 2 hours;
  • study from Monday to Saturday (6 days a week);
  • can’t choose subjects: study what is given;
  • spend about 6-7 hours at university: there is 10-minutes break every 1h 20 min;
  • have to move from one building to another which are situated in different parts of Moscow.

Some tips:

  1. Sleep no less than 7 hours and no more than 9. If you don’t follow this rule, you’ll suffer from headache, sleepiness, inability to stay focus for a long time and bad mood. It’s difficult for me to follow this rule, when I have to get up at 6 o’clock, but at least I try to do that.
  2. Pack all necessary things before going to sleep. It will guarantee that you won’t forget your completed homework at home. Also it’s a good idea to check weather forecast in advance and decide what to wear tomorrow.
  3. Don’t drink too much tea. Yes, it helps you to be more focused and calm, but if you drink huge amounts of tea, your body will lose some important elements like Mg, you’ll suffer from insomnia, your teeth will become yellow. Keep it in mind after drinking the 5th cup of tea.
  4. If you’re tired after classes, don’t revise anything. I’m not a lazy person, but after 4 classes I want to listen to silence and absorb all information I’ve got during a day. If I do revise my notes, after a several days I feel depressed because of a huge amount of information. Plus I don’t have opportunity to revise my notes during breaks and I think it’s better to eat something healthy or reduce stress by talking to your classmates.
  5. I have to memorize about 40 words per day and only have 4-5 hours before midnight to do all my homework. That’s way I prefer to use hand-writing. It helps me to write fast, memorize spelling and meaning of words.
  6. Don’t clean your working space/room instead of writing essays and meeting with deadlines. Yes, you’re doing right thing, but in wrong time.
  7. Version 1: you’re an extrovert. If you feel alone after a few hours of studying hard, use social networks to talk to your friends. Going out with friends will help you to avoid depression and burnout.
  8. Version 2: you’re an introvert. If you’re tired of communicating, just sit at home and do what you want. Forget about the idea that while you’re young you should hang out with friends every day and be active 24/7. It’s your life. If you need to be alone for some time, do it.
  9. IMPORTANT! If even after some rest you’re exhausted and tired, feel sad and depressed, go to the psychotherapist. It’s not cheap, but it can save your nervous system. My experience 1: in 10th grade I couldn’t concentrate, always cried without any reason and couldn’t communicate with other people. Even during the summer break I suffered from mood swings and was tired 24/7. It turned out to be depression. My experience 2: I couldn’t understand why I was afraid of talking to my professors and why I was so terribly shy during my classes. It was noticed by my classmates and professors, but I couldn’t explain why I was behaving like that. The reason was my relationships with my mother who has been manipulating me since my childhood. It killed all my nervous system and self-esteem. Please, don’t be ashamed of your psychological problems.
Why are You like this?

Hi friends! 

Plot: Y/N feels overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to let her Harry know.

I combined my own idea with a request about H hearing Y/N admit something over the phone. 

Hint before reading: Take a moment and think of that one thing that’s overwhelming you right in this moment, the one thing that makes your stomach feel sick and the one thing that keeps you up at night. Okay now you can read it.

Pic isn’t mine but I like to think that it is.

“Are you sure everything’s alright?” 

My throat dried when I allowed my eyes to meet with his sparkling green orbs and the pure worry in them made it difficult not to tear up. With a deep breath I forced myself to smile. 

“Everything is fine, Harry,” I promised him, my tone just sweet enough for it to cover up the lie, “It was a long day.”

“Again?” Harry inquired quietly. 

“Again.” I tried to laugh but got up to walk to the kitchen when I failed.

Ever since the beginning of this week there had been a heavy and uncomfortable feeling settled at the bottom of my stomach making me feel so sick at times I believed I would vomit. 
But I couldn’t let it show. 

“Do you want some tea?” I called towards him.

“Sure, yeah. Thanks, beautiful.”

With trembling fingers I reached for the kettle and I closed my eyes in hopes of calming down enough to keep my distraught emotions a secret. And what better than a hot cup of tea?
There was nothing I loved more than spending time with Harry and if I could I would have him near me at all times. I felt myself long for him when he was gone, fantasized about being in his presence when I wasn’t and when I had him I felt at peace. Momentarily. Harry made me feel warm and without knowing it he’d become the only person who managed to decorate my face with an honest smile. We hadn’t been dating for long, only a couple of months, and it was true that we were happy. Never before had I felt this close to another person, never before did I trust somebody with my whole heart and no one had ever understood me the way that Harry did.
Harry was my everything. 
And still I couldn’t find it in me to trust him with my worried mind. 

It wasn’t that I thought Harry wouldn’t be kind. I knew if I were to tell him that I couldn’t find any peace and that not even the nights provided me with rest, he would try all he could to be supportive. 
What held me back from confiding in him was how utterly ridiculous I felt. Harry had so much going on in his life, he was under constant pressure and given even more from all sides and all at once and still he never uttered as much as one word in complaint. 
Me? I felt like crying when dealing with what was so minor compared to other people’s problems. 
How could I possibly admit this without making a fool of myself?

“Y/N?” I heard Harry’s voice call for me. 

My breath hitched and I quickly finished both of our teas. “Coming!”

Hearing my friend’s voice over the speaker of my phone relaxed me. At least a little. Kat hadn’t had the time to talk properly in a while due to her job taking up a lot of space in her life and selfishly it felt good to hear that I wasn’t the only person who wasn’t having the best week. 

“So anyway,” Kat spoke, “Things took a turn to the better when the guy I told you about showed up again. I think he recovered form the flu or something.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

She chuckled. “I bet your day gets better the moment you have Harry around to comfort you.” 

“Well,” I sighed, “Having him around does bring me joy.” 

When my voice quivered I knew I messed up.

Kat cleared her throat. “What’s the matter? Does he not understand or what?”

“I’m sure he would,” I muttered. 

“Meaning?”

I didn’t reply. Kat laughed breathlessly. 

“You seriously didn’t tell him? Y/N, he’s your boyfriend! And if I receive text after text about how shitty everything is going for you then something really must be up.”

A lump formed in my throat and I let out a small whine. “I don’t know how to talk to him about this thought.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged even though she couldn’t see. “Harry has so much going on in his life. Never does he get a break not even on his days off. How could I burden him with my stupid and silly problems when his mind is full of much more important things?”

“Because he’s your boyfriend!” Kat repeated. 

“Is that your answer to everything?”

“In a relationship it’s about being there for each other,” Kat lectured, ignoring my words, “You support him constantly. It’s time you let him do the same for you.”

My head snapped up at the noise of my front door opening and then falling shut. 

“Y/N? You home, baby?” My heart fluttered at his voice.

“That’s Harry,” I quickly informed Kat, “I got to go.”

With fast steps I walked further into the bedroom and away from where I could hear Harry moving closer towards me.

“Of course,” Kat said and I could hear the smile in her voice, “Just remember. You have to be honest with Harry and tell him how you feel. Otherwise you’re being unfair to him.”

“I know,” I agreed lowly, “I know you’re right.”

Harry’s knuckles lightly knocked onto the wooden door and I turned around to look at him with a smile growing on my face. He looked insanely good. His hair was tousled from the clod wind I knew was tormenting outside, his upper body adorned a thick jumper and his legs were forced into much too tight jeans which to my benefit left little to the imagination. 

“Hey,” I breathed.

“Hi.” His voice was quiet and I shuddered when the smile on his face didn’t reach his beautiful eyes. 

I walked over to him and reached for his arm. “I’m just going to finish this call really quickly, okay? Then I’m all yours.”

“S’okay,” Harry said and shrugged off my touch, “I just came over to return the shirt you left at my place the other day. M’actually bit busy so I’m just going to head out again.”

My heart sank. “I thought you would stay tonight?” 

Harry nodded towards the phone in my palm. “You should’t let your friend wait, Y/N. Wouldn’t want you to be unfair to anybody, right?” 

And with that he turned around, out of my reach and towards the exit. The shirt he’d brought me was carelessly thrown onto the mattress and I watched him leave with tears already burning my eyes. What the hell had just happened?

“Y/N? You still there?” 

Kat’s voice ripped me back from my thoughts and I quickly told her that I was fine and needed to go. Then I hung up. 
Great. Now not even my relationship was something I could find comfort in. There was no point in running after him as I new Harry moved fast and since he’d arrived by car I was sure he must be long gone. With my palms ice cold, my legs weak and my stomach in knots I sat down on the bed I’d thought I would be spending the night with Harry on, feeling the most uncomfortable and unhappy and in in general at a low I hadn’t reached before.
There was no way I could hold back the tears from burning my cheeks and soon I was a sobbing mess, laying alone on the cold fabric of my bed.

From Harry, 7:20pm.
I’m sorry I left like that, love. How about I come back over and we spend the night together like we planned? x

From Harry, 7:22pm. 
Don’t ignore me now. I know I was being harsh. A bit of a dick actually and I wanna make up for that. Please let me, baby. xx

From Harry, 7:23pm. 
I heard your conversation with Kat. 

With puffy eyes I stared at the three messages. I breathed in shakily and shook my head before picking up the device to reply. There was no way I could face him when I was like this. I felt ashamed enough as it is and couldn’t bear the thought of letting my boyfriend see me in this weakened state.

From Y/N, 7:30pm.
It’s okay, Harry, no worries. I’m a bit tired though. Don’t think that hanging out tonight is a good idea. I’m sorry. x

From Y/N, 7:33pm.
If you want we could meet up tomorrow?

Teardrops smeared the screen and I brushed them off quickly in order to read Harry’s reply. My heart sank even further upon reading it.

From Harry, 7:34pm.
If that’s what you want.

It was what I’d wanted. Still, my chest crumbled and the room filled once more with desperate and loud cries as I let it sink in that I’d successfully driven Harry away. A shaking palm clasped over my mouth as I attempted to somehow quieten the noises of my breakdown as I didn’t want to alarm my neighbours. 
What was I supposed to do? What was I to tell him tomorrow? That was if he even wanted to see me.
My eyes were sore, my throat dry and slowly but surely everything began to hurt. Really ache. 

My entire body froze and I forced myself to calm down long enough to make sure I hadn’t heard wrong. No. There was once again the distinct sound of somebody knocking on my front door. Oh god please no. I scrambled to my feet with hurried movements and came to a tumbling stand. With harsh movements I brushed the tears from my smeared cheeks. 

“Y/N.” It was quiet but I heard and my heart began to pound heavily in my chest. What was he doing here?

“Harry?” I asked, my voice small and trembling weakly. 

I sniffled noisily and tried to steady my breath. 

“Course it’s me, love,” Harry hummed, his voice gentle, “Mind opening the door for me? Letting me in, sweetheart?”

“Harry, I really don’t think-”

“I hear it, baby,” he spoke softly, “You’re crying.” His voice sounded so sad, so empty of the anger it held earlier. 

The pet names spoken with so much affection, the gentleness in his words and tone… I couldn’t fight any longer. 
With uncertain fingers I unlocked my front door and before I could turn the handle I had Harry’s arms wrapped around my waist as he forced his way into my apartment. 
Breathing in his scent as I nestled my face into the warm space between his shoulder and his neck, one of my hands wound itself into his short curls while the other clasped the back of his neck. Harry’s arms tightened around my body, bringing me impossibly close to his chest as he pushed the both of us further inside. I didn’t see but I heard him shut the door with his foot. 

“Harry,” I whimpered, trying desperately to step away from him, worried that the endless stream of tears would mess up his jumper. 

“No.” Harry’s embrace was tight. He ignored my protest and instead hoisted me up higher so that he could carry me to the couch in my small living room. 

I was full on sobbing by this point, my desperation only increasing when he let go of me after making me sit on the couch. My arms were taken into his hands and I turned my head away when he crouched down. 

“Y/N, look at me.”

I shook my head, a whimper escaping my parted lips. Harry’s hands moved gently, his fingers drew circles onto my skin. Normally the gesture was enough to calm me down but not today. I felt utterly embarrassed and I knew that Harry slowly began to realize too that this wasn’t just a small and simple break down. 
This was me, crumbling after having suffered under too much pressure for too long. This was me truly breaking down and falling apart right in front of his eyes.
I gasped upon feeling him press his face into my open palms. 

“My sweet girl,” Harry breathed into my hands, “Tell me if there is something that I can do for you, you hear?”

“There- there’s no-nothing, Harry.” I swallowed shakily and stared at the back of his head. 

Slowly he looked up at me, green eyes wide, kind and patient. His warm hands clasped mine and my breath hitched when his heart shaped lips pressed a loving kiss to them. 

“That’s okay, too,” he reassured, “In that case I will just do what I think you need right now, yeah? And if you want something different you tell me.” 

He waited for me to nod, a small smile gracing his lips. Harry got to his feet quickly and immediately I was scooped back into his arms and brought to his chest. I hiccuped and Harry chuckled. 
His body settled onto the couch and I gasped when he placed my own body right on top of his, my back pressed to his chest. His face settled into my neck and I shuddered upon feeling his warm breath. One of Harry’s arms wrapped around my middle while he gently touched my forehead with his other hand, making me rest my head on his shoulder. 
I sighed and turned so I could nudge his neck with my nose. Next a blanket was pulled over my form, making sure that I was warm. 

“Harry,” I whispered into his skin. 

He intertwined our legs together before kissing my cheek. 

“No more crying,” he said lowly, chest rumbling against my back, “It breaks my heart to see you like this. Which doesn’t mean that I want you to ever keep it from me again when you feel this way.”

The terrible knot at the bottom of my stomach loosened and the longer I breathed him in the more I could feel my heart relax. My breathing slowed, the tears slowly ceased from falling. My own arms wrapped around his and our hands found each other. 

“I’m sorry,” I apologized against his skin.

He shook his head and squeezed me. “No, no, my love. S’not what I want. You don’t have to apologize for anything. All I want is that you trust me. That you know that I’m here. Always.”

“I want to see you.” 

Careful not to hurt him I turned to lay on my stomach, my body pressed tightly against his chest and I leaned up to press a kiss to his soft skin of his chin. 
Harry groaned lowly at the sensation. 

“You’re my girlfriend,” Harry murmured, his hands rubbing up and down my back, “You can lean on me. Confide in me. Don’t want hear that you’re unwell and hiding it.”

I hummed.

“Are you comfortable?” I wondered quietly, referring to his position.

“Very,” he assured me with a nod, cheekily grabbing my bum and giving it a squeeze. 

I swatted his chest with a laugh and he removed his hands and settled them onto my hips instead. I found it hard to believe that having my body sprawled out on top of his was in any way comfortable but in this moment I knew there was nothing other than being in his arms that would heal my tormented mind.

“S’embarrassing though,” I admitted quietly, my unsure eyes finding his. 

“S’not,” he argued, “S’part of being in a relationship. I’m yours, you’re mine and we’re both there for each other.”

I liked how natural his words sounded. How much sense they made.

“But,” I began, “what I’m dealing with is so stupid and you-”

“And I’m never too busy to take care of you just like I trust in you always being there when I really need you. And nothing that makes you cry is stupid to me.”

Harry smiled kindly and I could feel myself doing the same. Gently I reached up to cup his cheek and a tiny gasp escaped my mouth before his lips found mine in a loving kiss. Instantly I melted into him. 
His hands held me close, my own scratched his cheek while the other held onto his hair and for the first time all week I felt like I could truly breath. Harry’s presence took over all of my senses as I cuddled myself even more into his embrace. We continued to kiss until my lungs burned and this time when I teared up it was because my heart couldn’t hold the amount of happiness. 

“Why are you like this?” I whispered, staring at my handsome boyfriend with wonder in my eyes. 

He smiled and pressed another kiss to my temple. “Because you’re important to me. I need you to know that, love.”

“I do. Thank you so much, Harry. And I care about you, too. So much.”

Another kiss followed to my lips before Harry drew back to rub his nose against mine in a heartbreakingly sweet gesture. 

Hope you liked this! Wrote it in one go so apologizes for any mistakes. Also, if any of you are dealing with something shitty at the moment I have my fingers crossed for you and know you’ll be alright. x

The rest of my writing: 
Masterlist

Harry Potter Fic Recs

So I heard a call a while back for good Harry Potter fic, which is…kind of murderously difficult to find due to the sheer volume involved.  I can’t say I’ve made any significant dent in searching for the stuff, because it’s fucking exhausting, but I do have some favorites that I cherish dearly. And being an extremely picky reader, hopefully this list will be helpful to others as well.

So. Fic recs.  Yes.

Anything, anything at all, by @copperbadge; he hasn’t been in the fandom for years, but his oldies are definitely goodies.  Stealing Harry is something of a fandom classic and really good for comfort reading, starting as it does on the happy ending and moving from there.  My personal favorite is Cartographer’s Craft, however, which is just full of wonderful things.

Anything, literally anything, by @lullabyknellart.  She has multiple long, chaptered fics in progress, and while it takes a while for her to update when she does it is glorious.  Personal favorites include face death in the hope (time-travel, Regulus Black, and emotional-disaster Harry), and into the arena with your head held high (Harry and genderfluid godkid Teddy time-travel from apocalyptic future to non-apocalyptic past and proceed to fuck shit up).

@deadcatwithaflamethrower, because she is the bomb, delightfully prolific, and produces moving, emotionally and intelluctually rich fic while making it look easy, what the fuck woman.  She also has a “I will take a hammer and fix the canon” approach to just about anything while managing to make it all jive with the original.  Current works in the fandom are Swung By Serafim (complete, gorgeous, with the book-length epilogue that we all deserved) and work-in-progress Of a Linear Circle, which is a beautiful romance and also chock full of interesting medieval facts and “hammer to canon” fixits.

@waspabi has two excellent fics (I have not read the third because it’s rpf, but go check it if that’s your thing) in the fandom: Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run, which is exactly as amazing as it sounds (” ‘You’re a wizard, Harry’ is easier to hear from a half-giant when you’re eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you’re seventeen and late for work ”); and Stately Homes of Wiltshire, a post-canon fic where Harry is an Auror and, as anyone else could see coming, Hates His Job (but won’t admit it).  Also there are poltergeists.  Both are Drarry fics, but even if that’s not your thing I’d give it a go because @waspabi‘s Draco is unlike anyone else’s Draco, ever, and has rendered me nearly incapable of enjoying any other Draco because no one else’s can compare.

Aeturnum’s Leo Inter Serpentes series, which is just…so excellent.  Rewrite of the whole series with Harry being in Slytherin, because Draco is significantly less of a dick.  Narcissa is bomb-ass and divorces Lucius and Hermione is amazing and Snape adopts Harry and is a Good Dad, I cried okay, I cried.  Everyone is so in character and it’s so well done and just.  I inhaled the whole thing in two days, it was terrible.  Only other Drarry I will ever accept.

@ink-splotch (dirgewithoutmusic)’s boy with a scar series.  It’s a collection of stories, mostly au’s, including “Neville/Ron/Hermione are the Boy/Girl-who-lived”, Girl!Harry (once dfab, once trans), “what if Snape made up with Lily”, and many, many more.  All are absolute gems, seriously, beautiful fucking writing, will kill you with so many feels.  So. Many.  Read them all.  You will cry.  You will be happy about it.

esama is an excellent author and writes many, many things, not all of which are everyone’s cup of tea, but each fic is unique unto itself so keep that in mind when scrolling their work.  Just because you don’t like one doesn’t mean you won’t love another.  My personal favorites include D.S.S. Requirement (the Room of Requirement provides a spaceship.  No, really), Undone Wars (excellent crossover with Stargate Atlantis), and Mother May I, a Fantastic Beasts fic in which Newt recognizes Credence as an Obscurial on sight and basically adopts/kidnaps all the Barebone children immediately and forever.

And no Harry Potter fic rec from me would be complete without metisket’s side-splittingly funny There May Be Some Collateral Damage.  It’s a crossover with Bleach, but no knowledge of Bleach is required to thoroughly enjoy this ridiculous piece of perfection.  Seriously, I went into knowing that Bleach existed and what the main character looked like.  Basically, Voldemort is deemed a grim reaper’s problem, Harry Potter becomes designated bait, and chosen for his bodyguard is the most reasonable maniac you will ever meet.  Ichigo crashes through Hogwarts like a wrecking ball, everyone either hates or loves him (or in Harry’s case both), the twin’s perspective is entirely written in the plural and you will laugh every other sentence, I guarantee.  Hate prophecies? Hate Umbridge? Need cheering up?  Want to stab Voldemort with a dinner knife?  This is the fic for you.

OTP Tea ☕️
  • Person A: *is sick*
  • Person B: *trying to take care of them* I made you tea.
  • Person A: I don wan ea.. *sniffles*
  • Person B: then what do you want?..
  • Person A: ...
  • Person B: it's got lemon and honey.
  • Person A: I- I'll ry id..
  • person B: *gives person A tea*
  • Person A: *sips tea*..
  • Person B: feel any better?
  • Person A: *finishes off tea* no, uh, no *sniffles* you- re gonna have a make me more ea...
  • person B: *sighs, takes cup* yup, looks like it. *kisses A on forehead on way out*
  • Person A: *mumbles* hank you..
  • person B: I love you too.
You Understand, Right? (Part 5): And Broken Hearts

Characters: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader

Length: 1665+ words

TW: Nothing in this chapter!

A/N: I’ve been considering writing a sister chapter to this one in Y/N’s perspective, but I’m not sure if I have time. Plus, you guys are getting so many fics from me this month lol… We’ll see. I’m pretty swamped with other stuff so I make no promises… Hahaha get it?… Yea, I’m lame.  

Feedback is appreciated (AND SO ARE YOU)!

SERIES MASTERLIST


Dean didn’t follow her, too shocked at her words. He sat down on the edge of his bed thinking about what in the world would make her say such things. He just stared at the floor of his room. Her words ringing inside his brain as he tried to make sense of it. Of everything.

“I understand, Dean.”

“You and Sam need each other… But you don’t need me.”

“I’ve lost count of the promises you’ve broken.”

“What the hell?” he mumbled, massaging his temple. “What is she talking about?”

Dean remembered making only two promises to her in his lifetime. He promised to take care of her, and be there for her. This was the promise he made with everyone he ever cared about. Anyone who knew Dean knew that he would always be there for them when they needed help.

He knew from a young age not to make promises he couldn’t make. John lectured him for hours after he once promised a kid that they would save his mom. They lost the mom to the werewolf. His dad was livid- not only because they lost another life, but because he had given this kid hope. Ever since then, Dean didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep. And he was sure that Y/N knew he would never break a promise if he could help it. Not that she’s ever asked him to make any promises. There were only two cases where she had asked him to promise her something.

“Dean, look! I got a part in the play!” Y/N said excitedly, showing him the piece of paper with her name on it.

“Yea?” He peered over, flashing her a proud grin. “Good job, squirt!”

“You’re gonna come see it, right?”

“Of course!” He ruffled her hair before going back to his homework.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” he said, not even looking up from his math problem.

Dean swallowed thickly as he realized that he didn’t show up to her play, choosing to attend Sam’s spelling bee instead.

Keep reading

2

5/100 ✨ {21/08/2017}

I spend majority of the summer in my country house bc nature is BAE but I’m a city girl so ever so often I venture back to the city to find a different type of peace in the crowded streets and busy cafés. Today I enjoyed a soy cappuccino while editing my personal statement in a lovely place overlooking the city. I *should* be done with it today.

PS. I’ve changed the blog’s name to math and jazz . It came naturally and it feels right. You might have already noticed that math is the leading subject I deal with and jazz is the only music I can listen to while studying without going crazy. To me, jazz feels like a warm cup of tea and smells like old books. It puts me in the right mood. 

yaoiprincess  asked:

Hii~~ do you have any uhhh... omegaverse fics? I've become obsessed. 😊😊🙏

Wow! Thanks for all these requests! So.. ah…um… I’m in a little bit of a pickle here. I don’t actively read omegaverse fics as they’re not my cup of tea, so I’m not able to personally recommend these! (but I’m sure they’re all fantastic) Nevertheless, I 100% appreciate and will accommodate to everyone’s likings! ❤

Here are some of the highest rated ones on AO3 and ones that have been rec’d to me!

Originally posted by owarus


YOI Omegaverse


A Week From Now by MilkTeaMiku, Not Rated, 2.5k
Yuuri has a surprise for Victor’s birthday, but he doesn’t know how Victor will react. Omega Yuuri and Alpha Victor. (Check out their profile, they write a lot of A/B/O YOI fics!)

You Can’t Plan for Everything by RivDeV, Explicit, 113k (WIP)
Yuuri forgets that he has a scheduled heat coming up until it’s just a couple weeks away. He scrambles to get everything ready in time, including deciding whether he’ll spend it alone or with someone. Victor only wants to help.

Chasing Fate by GuyBlackhand, Mature, 32k (WIP)
Yuuri Katsuki was twelve when he presented as an Alpha, to the shock of his family and everyone who knew him. Rec’d to me by an anon!

Blue Roses by Fauks, Gen, 40k
The royalty, ABO Soulmate AU that no one asked for. A collection of oneshots of Victor and Yuuri growing up together

Yutopia by AnimeFanime, Mature, 32k (WIP)
Victor’s azure-hued eyes widened as he gazed upon the golden gate of the Omega temple, sparkling in the morning rays under its covering of snow. It was the most renown of its kind in the world.

Fever by MilkTeaMiku, Not Rated, 15k
Yuuri had always known he was a little bit different when compared to other figure skaters. Of course, the fact that he was socially awkward and rather ungraceful kind of made him stand out anyway, but it was more than that. It was biology.

Hooked On Your Love by EllaWinchester24, Explicit, 5.3k
The one where Omega!Yuri gets his heat in Russia and alpha!Victor discovers exactly how much his mate likes it when he praises him.

Love on Ice by ShiroPhenix, Teen, 19k (WIP)
Victor Nikiforov 5 times world champion stared impassively at his ceiling, Makkachin spread across his stomach. He absently patted the dog’s head as pondered about what he should do next after his recent win. He wanted something new, something people have yet to see about him.

the greatest distance from the sun by extra kanin (gracon_bacon), Mature, 15k (WIP)
After winning gold in the Grand Prix, Yuuri announces his retirement from the figure skating scene to continue his studies while Victor declares that he’s returning to Russia to fully launch his career as a coach. A scandal erupts not long after Victor’s return, and Yuuri effectively disappears not only from Victor’s life but also from the public spotlight.

Retrouvailles by persephoneggsy, Teen, 31k
After he presents as an Omega, Yuuri Katsuki is sent to study abroad for ten long years. When he returns, he’s far, far different from the adorable little boy that used to follow Victor around like a puppy.