i know that i’m still young. he isn’t my first love nor will he be my last. but it still hurts, you know? when you give someone all of you, share your secrets and dreams with them, and pour your heart out to them. there is no going back. i can’t just undo things. i can’t just take back everything i’ve ever said and felt. i can’t just make them disappear and delete them from my memory. that’s not how it works. a part of them will always be in my heart. i wish i could kill that part, but i can’t kill it anymore without killing myself a little too.
There’s this lady that works in my office that’s been there for almost 20 years. She’s hilarious, a sweetheart, and damn smart to boot.
Today we got to chatting, mostly because I opened up to her about the fact that I feel like I’m not going anywhere with my life.
“I feel like I’ve wasted this year,” I said (my birthday is in a couple weeks, and I’ve been kinda sorta dreading it). “I have all these friends that are graduating college, finding their careers, getting married, having babies, and here I am, doing nothing with my life.”
She raised an eyebrow at me, rolled her chair a bit closer across the short-haired blue carpet, and replied, “You still have a long way to go. It’s okay to feel like you’ve wasted time. It took me 28 years to get my highschool diploma! You’re still young. Don’t worry about things, because what does that get you? Just keep going forward, and things will come when they’re meant to.”
Then she gave me a cookie and I buried my unnecessary worries about the future in delicious chocolate chip goodness.
Sometimes people don’t suck as much as they normally do.
So my kit for musket firing is almost done and it looks really pretty. Like… super pretty. Too pretty. Gorgeous fabric, beautiful patterns, all that. It’s absolutely stunning. And so out of place for something that’s going to be covered in grime and black powder all summer.
So now we’re thinking of what sort of colonist would show up to Bunker Hill dressed in his absolute finest (aside from Joseph Warren), and now we have a whole tragically hilarious backstory for him.