everything comes from me. from the set list to every song to what I write about to how I want my record to sound, I’m one hundred percent involved in it. it’s scary and it’s exciting and I feel like I owe that to myself and also to my fans. when people send me letters and they say that my music has touched them or made them feel a certain type of way, that makes me really happy. I want people to know that we all go through the same things in one way or another. it makes me feel that I’m in the right place and I’m doing what I should be doing.
At six, I could reach you with tin cans and a string. At ten we held hands down to the mailbox, but mail on our way back up the street. At fifteen, you sent me smoke signals until you burnt your bug screen. At sixteen we were burning rubber but never got very far - you can only make so many turns here before you’re back at the start.
This place might be small, but I’d walk these same few roads forever if it meant I could walk them with you. Because darling, as long as you’re in it, this town is infinite.
GoT Afterthoughts 7x04 The Spoils Of War (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS
Ugh …so much drama with the leaking of this
episode. It was extremely hard to keep myself unspoiled, but I managed (mostly).
I know a lot of you have been waiting for this recap, so let’s get down to
Wow. This episode felt so rushed! For the life of me,
I will never understand D&D’s logic for cutting this season and the next
short, for all the content they need to cram into them.
So, with that being said, we start this weeks episode
off in High Garden (or is it Highgarden?). The Lannister and Tarly soldiers have
cleaned out High Garden’s riches and food supply and have a caravan headed back
to Kings Landing. Jamie gives Bronn his big bag of gold because “a Lannister
always pays his debts” but Bronn still wants his castle. lol After poking fun at
Jamie’s sour mood despite their victory, Bronn goes with Lord Tarly and Dickon
to assist in getting the rest of the harvest. Winter is here, and food is
Side note: I love Bronn. Jamie and Tyrion should
totally adopt him when this is all over.
Back in Kings Landing, Cersei is again meeting with
the Iron Bank dude, who’s happy to continue supporting her ventures, as long as
they get their money. She assures him his gold is on the way.
We head to Winterfell (yay!) where LF is busy being
fucking creepy, as usual. He gives Bran the dagger that the cutthroat tried to
use to assassinate him in the first season. He proceeds to blow smoke up Bran’s
ass about how he will always protect Cat’s children and blah blah blah, sweet
Jesus Petyr, we are tired of hearing the same lame shit come out of your mouth!
(at least, I am). He tells Bran it’s the dagger that essentially started the war
of the 5 Kings and that in a way, it made him what he is today.
Some very interesting things I gleaned from this
When Bran asks him if he
knows who it belonged to -I believe this was a rhetorical question. I think Bran
knows exactly who it belonged to.
LF is shook when he says the
word chaos and Bran claps back with “chaos is a ladder.” Mmhmm.
That is the weapon LF will
die by. Without a doubt. (and it’s sweet poetic justice).
“I’m not Lord Stark” -another
reminder that Sansa is the heir to Winterfell, as Bran will probably slip
further into his 3ER role until that’s all he is and Bran no longer exists.
Meera interrupts. She wants to go home and see her
family before the Others come. Meera is hurt by how cold and distant Bran is
after all she sacrificed for him, and Bran confirms what I said last week -he’s
NOT Bran anymore. The more he hones his powers, the more the parts of him that
are Bran will disappear -which is why he’s so void of emotions. It’s not trauma
(although he’s been through and seen some pretty traumatic shit), it’s just the
part of him that was Bran is literally dying as the 3ER takes over.
And Arya is home!!!!! Omg omg omg!!!
What is it with poor Arya and gate guards keeping her
out? Okay, just seeing Arya’s face as she glances around Winterfell and looks at
the banner -it made me so emotional, my husband laughed at me. He’s a dick, what
can I say?
The guards let Sansa know about the girl at the gate,
and how she’s gone now, and once Sansa hears who the girl asked for, she knows
it’s really Arya and exactly where to find her. She heads to the crypts and
there’s Arya in front of Ned’s statue.
This was a beautiful reunion! I know it wasn’t nearly
as emotional as Sansa and Jon’s -and frankly, I don’t think any of them are
going to be, and I believe that’s intentional, but for the Stark sisters -it
suited them, and who they are, and who they’ve become. There’s no hate or
animosity here …they even tease each other a bit, and it’s just so lovely and
ashgdhjxugyfkcufyskfjcjcaa I AM SO EMOTIONAL!!!!! And we got not just one hug,
but two!!! TWO!!!! I said before that D&D had better make this reunion worth
while, and for me, they delivered. I love how Arya said that their stories
aren’t over yet.
A few things that stood out to me in this scene:
Arya telling Sansa that being
Lady Stark suited her. I’m not sure this is foreshadowing or just Arya giving
her sister some kudos. Either way, it warmed my heart.
Sansa bringing up Jon, and
not only how excited he was about her reunion, but how thrilled he’ll be to see
Arya too -this served two purposes: Sansa again, bringing up Jon at a time she
feels vulnerable/safe, and at the same time validating Arya and how important
she is to Jon.
Arya mentions her kill list,
and Sansa thinks she’s joking.
Sansa tells Arya that Bran is home too, and we head
out into the Godswood. No matter how unemotional Bran is, it’s beautiful to see
my Starklings all together in one place again! ❤️ My heart literally grew three
times its size!
After a brief hug, Bran tells Arya that he saw her at
the crossroads and that he thought she’d go to Kings Landing. Sansa offers that
Bran has visions now, and Bran says that Cersei is on her list of names. The
look on Sansa’s face puzzled me for a minute -because she looks a bit worried,
but then she kind of smirks a bit when she asks Arya who else is on her list.
Now, I think that the writers want us to think that Sansa suspects she *might*
be on that list, but I’m telling you now that’s utter bullshit. Lady Stark has
taken over her new role in every aspect and that includes mothering her two
younger siblings. I believe her look comes more from a parental place of
worrying, and I bet the next few episodes will prove me right -ahem, did I not
call the whole Bran is no longer Bran thing last week? Thank you.
As Bran pulls out the dagger and gives it to Arya,
this only further confirms my feelings. Immediately, Sansa is suspicious. Why?
Because she knows LF better than anyone, and she knows he doesn’t do anything
that won’t benefit himself. I suspect she is both worried for her siblings, and
thinks LF is trying to sway Bran into taking the Lordship so that he can ask for
Sansa’s hand in marriage while Jon’s away. It’s the only thing that makes sense
to me in regards to LF visiting Bran earlier in the episode. I also think this
is all more fodder for fake ass Starkbowl too -to confuse the viewers.
Some things that stood out in this scene:
Bran gives the dagger to
Arya. Arya is going to be the one who kills LF -Bran knows, he’s seen it, and
that’s why he gives the dagger to her.
My heart -when he says it’s
wasted on a cripple and Sansa looks down sadly.
Okay, our Starklings are headed back within
Winterfell, and OMG my heart is exploding! And Brienne’s heart, too! Podrick
tells her she kept her vow to Catelyn and she should be proud, and you can tell
that she’s not used to being complimented. As usual, LF is creeping in the
shadows like the human embodiment of a bloodsucking tick.
Another side note: Podrick is also a precious
dewdrop! Put him in the same category with Davos.
Now we’re at Dragonstone ..dun dun dunnn. Sigh, well
come on, let’s get it over with. We start this scene with Missandei insinuating
that GW kissed the kitty and Jon interrupts them from below to bring Dany into a
cave. Well, how clever. *eyeroll* I mean, you seriously have to laugh at
Jon wants to show Dany the dragon glass before they
begin mining it, and it is quite lovely. Jon tells her he wants to show her
something else, and the two of them head farther into the cave alone. Cramped
quarters, and Dany seems winded from the walk up, because she’s literally
Maybe the airs really thin?
Jon explains that the hieroglyphics on the walls are
from the Children of the forest, and Dany seems awed to be standing in the same
place. She passes the torch by some stick figures resembling the Children and
the first men, and Jon narrates how they fought together against the common
enemy, as her torch falls on the drawings of the WW’s.
Ummm …….. no?
I mean, I’m pretty sure the Children made them to
kill the first men originally, right? But Jon doesn’t know that, and he needs
Dany on his side, so go ahead and improvise Jonny baby. 😉
Now, I’m assuming that this scene was meant to be
romantic because of the sudden romantic music playing in the background and the
open stares between them in the soft torchlight. Kit’s doing that soft half
puppy/half fuck me stare, as Dany sashays slowly towards him.
“I will fight for you. I will fight for the north.
When you bend the knee.”
Annnnnnd there goes Jon’s erection. If he had one … hahahahah! He tells her again that he can’t, and then Dany drops the BIGGEST hypocrite
bomb EVER - “aren’t his people more important than his pride?”Really?No
seriously, REALLY? Who’s prideful here? Someone get that girl a mirror because
she has some serious soul searching to do!
But here’s the thing -I went into this scene
expecting to be beat over the head with romance tropes and vibes (according to
what I’ve seen you all post over the last few days) and I truly didn’t see/feel
it. It’s not that I didn’t want to … I was really actually trying to, but I
felt more like they were once again trying to show us a juxtaposition on who
these two people really are.
They emerge from the cave and Tyrion and Varys have
good and bad news -they’ve got Casterly Rock …but not really. Naturally, Dany
is pissed. She demands that Jon and Davos remain while she has her tantrum. She
implies that Tyrion is working against her, then gazing ominously out to sea at
her Dragons says she’s going to fly them to the Red Keep. When Tyrion advises
her against it, she asks Jon’s opinion. He doesn’t want to be involved but she
Jon gives her really good advice, actually. He tells
her to BE DIFFERENT. He tells her to be what her people think she is, and not
just more of the same shit they’re used to. He tells her not to use her
Now we’re back to Winterfell and Brienne is training
Podrick again. Where’s Brienne’s cheerleader, Tormund? I half expected him to
pop out from behind a wagon with heart eyes. lol Arya wants to train with Brienne -she
obviously admires her, and I ship them -my new brotp. 😍
They quick shoot up to Sansa and LF on the
battlements and the grain is brought up again. Food is a big theme in this
episode, as it’s mentioned in the beginning with Jamie, Dany also mentions
feeding her army during her tantrum, and now Sansa, too.
She stops in mid sentence to watch what’s unfolding
below with Arya and Brienne. She gets a worried look and side eyes LF when Arya
mentions Brienne swore to serve both of Cat’s daughters (again, more writers
bait to instill fake mistrust between the sisters -it’s more likely that Sansa
mistrusts LF and what’s currently motivating him).
This fight scene is AMAZING! Two strong, beautiful
women -individually talented in their own ways …this is the shit I live for!!!
Arya looks and moves strikingly like Jon (before he took on Ned’s persona) -(wo)man bun and all!
Again, Sansa with her odd looks, and her side-eyeing
of LF …they are laying it on thick.
Also, Gendry better watch out -Podrick’s got some
serious heart eyes for Arya.
We head back to Dragonstone, and Davos and Jon are
strolling the grounds (aren’t you supposed to be mining, mofo???). Again, I’m
going to break away from everyone on the romance vibes here -I think that Davos
is being facetious. When he asks Jon what he thinks of Dany, he never tells us
what he feels, and when Jon says “she has a good heart”, Davis replies with
“yeah, I’ve noticed you’ve been staring at her good heart”, implying that Jon’s
been looking at her tits. Where’s the romance in that? That’s not love -that’s
physical attraction. Let’s not mix the two just yet.
Jon immediately rebuffs Davos with -“There’s no time
for that” the convo switches gears to the NK and how many men they’ve got up
north. And then Davos jumps back to “good hearts” deliberately and LOUDLY, as
they approach Missandei. This seems odd to me … I’ve already speculated that
Jon may go undercover lover on Dany as he did to Ygritte, and many have
disagreed with me -but I kind of feel like that might be what they are setting
up here …
Missandei greets them “Ser Davos, Lord Snow” -and
immediately Davos puts the brakes on that shit, “it’s King Snow, or is it King
Jon?” (I love Davos). We go over the
concept of bastard, which leads to how Missandei got to be an advisor to Dany.
And here again, I feel is another play on words to show how distrustful of Dany
both Jon and Davos are (yet managed to fool everyone into thinking it’s ringing
romance bells and trying to convince Jon how precious the D is) -Davos reminds
her that she’s still “serving” Dany (reminiscent of what the Masters in Meereen
said to GW) as to which Missandei replies that she does it freely. Jon is
skeptical (and really, so am I) and asks if she wanted to leave and sail home to
Narth tomorrow …? Missandei is insistent that Dany would drop her on a boat
and wish her good fortune.
Jon (still skeptical): “you believe that?”
Ohhh, he struck a nerve. Missandei very passionately
declares “she knows it” and says that all who followed her (Dany) from Essos followed
her because they believe in Dany and chose her as queen (ya know, except for
those who didn’t). Davos says “would you forgive me if I switch sides?”And
again, I can’t help thinking how
deliberate that line is -Davos is smart and he’s a good talker (as shown
throughout the entire series), and I really feel like he’s playing them. I could
be wrong, but my gut is really just telling me that something is off here.
Ahhh, and the scene I’ve been waiting for that
conveniently comes after all this fake Dany romance BS -a Greyjoy ship is
spotted just off the coast! Props to both my boys here, because they played up
the tension and emotional angst nicely. Jon moves forward slowly, and then Theon
T: Sansa ….she alright?
The minute her name is on Theon’s lips, Jon’s chest
begins to heave and he lunges forward and grabs Theon by the front of his shirt,
vehemently stating that “what you did for her is the only reason I’m not killing
WOOT WOOT the murder kitten strikes again! Kit is
sooooo good with these emotional facial scenes, my God! Do any of you really
doubt this ship????
Jon is fucking in love with Sansa -it is so clearly
evident that when he realizes his Starkcest is showing, he abruptly releases
Theon, and shoves him away -just in time to zoom in on Davos, and guys -HE
KNOWS! DAVOS KNOWS!!!
He (Davos) cleverly shifts the subject to Theon’s
fleet and Yara. Euron’s got her. Theon asks where Dany is and they inform him
she’s not there.
We jump back over to Jamie and his troops. They are
finishing gathering up the harvest (food again) and Lord Tarly suggests flogging
any slackers. Jamie is against this -the writers emphasizing yet again that he’s
a good man/leader -which is emphasized FURTHER when he chats with Dickon about his
feelings on his first battle. Dickon admits it was hard killing people he
literally grew up with, and Jamie shows empathy -“they didn’t deserve to die,
but Lady Olenna decided to support the Targaryen girl, so here we are”. Jamie
may have been a great warrior, but he despises killing innocents, and in
essence, that’s what a lot of these soldiers are -men forced to fight for the
ones who rule them, with really no say in the matter. The scene with Arya and
the Lannister soldier boys makes so much more sense now.
A side note: Bronn literally laughed out loud at
Dickon’s name! lmao
Bronn and Jamie hear hoofbeats, the Dothraki army is
coming, and sure enough, Dany’s leading them on Drogon. Now, I’ve seen people’s
thoughts on this scene floating around Tumblr for days (TAG YOUR SPOILERS lol),
but I was NOT prepared for how visually horrifying it truly was.
Another very important side note: the Khaleesi theme
song that’s usually played for most of Dany’s inspiring scenes, has been given a
VERY ominous twist. Go back and listen. It’s an important detail that many of
you might have missed. 😉
The Lannister army scrambles to make a barrier of
shields and Dany literally blows them away, ordering Drogon to dracarys the shit
out of them. The Dothraki break through, and while they’re keeping the soldiers
busy, Dany rides Drogon up the wagon line, literally torching all the wagons
filled with food! WTF??
They have the giant crossbow with them, and Jamie
tells Bronn he has to wield it, because you need two hands. Probably thinking
that he doesn’t get paid well enough for this bullshit, Bronn races for the
weapon, but a Dothraki develops a hard-on for him and gives chase through the
burning camp. Bronn loses his horse and his gold, but makes it to the
weapon. Finally riding himself of his
Dothraki admirer, he searches the smoke filled sky for Drogon, as Tyrion looks
down at the carnage from an overlooking cliff. He has what I perceive to be a
regretfully sad/shocked face, as equally sad music plays in the background. The
Dothraki warrior beside him comments that “his people can’t fight”.
They zoom in on Jamie watching the soldiers around
him burning to death, and then Drogon reappears and is headed straight for him.
He yells for his men to take cover, as Bronn releases an arrow and just barely
misses the dragon. He reloads, as Dany zeroes in on him, ordering dracarys as
Bronn lets the next arrow fly and it hits Drogon under the wing, I think? Drogon
is injured, but recovers just in time to stop in front of the weapon and bathe
him in fire, as Bronn dives out of harms way.
Drogon lands and smashes the weapon with his tail,
and Dany dismounts to pull the spear from him. Jamie sees an opportunity to take
Dany out, and like a gallant knight, races towards her, while Tyrion watches
from the cliff, pleading for him not to do it. NOT because he cares about Dany
-no, his fear is all for his brother here, I’m sure of it.
Unfortunately, Dani and Drogon see him before he gets
close enough, and dracarys again -but Bronn leaps out and knocks Jamie off his
horse and they both fall into the water and sink below the surface.
The episode ends with Jamie in heavy armor, sinking
like a rock to the bottom of the lake.
No guys, Jamie is not dead. Bronn isn’t wearing heavy
armor and Bronn will save him. I promise. Jamie’s story isn’t over yet -he’s got
a very important role to play in the coming battle ….
A few things to point out that should have been
Dany didn’t take Jon’s
advice. If any of you have any doubts on dark!dany, you can toss them out the window -this episode was in NO WAY intent upon bathing her in a good light.
Tyrion is going to jump sides
really soon -and probably Varys, too.
Dany just burned most -if not
ALL of the harvest, and now we understand the emphasis on food this episode, and
the parallel of Sansa who, ya know -actually gives a fuck about feeding her
I have more thoughts on this episode that I’ll share
tomorrow, but I know you’ve all been waiting for this a long time. What can I
say? I’m thorough, I’m sorry! Thanks for tuning in, and I’ll see you next week
with more GoT Afterthoughts.
I’d like to be remembered as being good. And not harming people. At the same time I want to be remembered for doing something important that affected people for positive change. You learn about Neil Armstrong, coolest thing ever– all of them, all the people before us in this place. But what did Neil Armstrong do? He stepped on the moon first, but he was selected. You know, I think they made it a joke. A monkey went on the moon first. You don’t talk about the monkey.
Author’s Note: I wanted some angst, so I decided to make this and use prompts that I found on tumblr and I have finally finished it. Thanks to the lovely @mf-despair-queen for proofreading this for me! :)
Ducks is about part of my time working at a mining site in Fort McMurray, the events are from 2008. It is a complicated place, it is not the same for all, and these are only my own experiences there. It is a sketch because I want to test how I would tell these stories, and how I feel about sharing them. A larger work gets talked about from time to time. It is not a place I could describe in one or two stories. Ducks is about a lot of things, and among these, it is about environmental destruction in an environment that includes humans. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
Anon Request: Can you do a female reader x jealous!bucky or possessive!bucky (they’re both kinda the same thing idk but jealous!bucky is my religion) ?? thank you!!
Key: Y/N=Your Name Y/L/N=Your Last Name S/H/N=Super Hero Name C/N=Charity Name
Tonight there was another party at Stark tower. The only difference compared to all the other parties is that this one was meant to put the Avengers back in the good graces of the public. In a way, it was a charity event. Natasha and Wanda were in my room helping me get ready. I had previously died my hair a pastel pink/purple color. My dress would match that in a way. The top half was black and then it fanned out into dark and light pastel colors. There was purple, burgundy, a yellowish orangeish and a pink. I had a black shoulder handbag that had my gun, an ammo clip, and a knife. My makeup was nude, with my eyes popping out. My hair was done up in a messy bun and my shoes were black goddess sandals. When we were all ready, we walked out of my room and went down to the floor the party was on. When we came down the stairs (like the stairs in the avenger’s tower in age of ultron) there were reporters at the bottom. Some were taking pictures while some were recording.
“And here we have the women of the Avengers! Y/N Y/L/N, Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff! Ladies can we get an interview?”
We each had our own interviewer with Nat to my right and Wanda to my left with me in the middle. I could hear parts of their interview but I focused on mine.
“I’m here with Y/N Y/L/N one of the lady Avengers, Y/N can you tell me how you joined the avengers?”
“I joined like the others did. I was called in when the attack on New York was immediate.”
“And what qualified you to be an Avenger?”
“I have the exact same skill set as Natasha. I am a level eight S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and like Natasha I’m the best there is.”
“Alright so one last question, who are you wearing tonight?”
“Uhm, I’m not really sure. I don’t want to sound mean when I say this but I don’t see how that is a relevant question. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the party.”
I walked away and grabbed Nat and Wanda. We walked away from the group of reporters and walked to the bar where Steve and Bucky were with Bruce behind the bar and Thor standing off to the side. They nodded their greetings at us and we all smiled back.
“So we saw you got hounded by the reporters as well.”
“The only thing I saw wrong with the interview was that Y/N took you girls away from your interviews.”
“Yeah well they shouldn’t have asked me who I was wearing. I knew if I got asked that, the girls would’ve gotten asked the same questions.”
“This is supposed to be a charity event Y/N. You have to be nice.”
“Niceness is not in my vocabulary, Captain.”
“It is when it’s an undercover op.”
“Yeah well this is not an undercover op now is it?”
“And if it was?”
“Then I would be nice.”
“Then think of this as an undercover op then. Your target is to promote the Avengers and get some people to help donate to charity. And to do that you have to be nice.”
“Lame but alright. But just fyi, you suck.’
“Dully noted Y/N.”
I walked away from the team and scanned the place. I found Tony talking to some investors so I figured I’d walk over there as well. Tony’s back was towards me so he didn’t see me come up behind him.
“Is this guy boring you with his “Iron Man” stories. Well I can tell you from my own personal experience, that they are all lies.”
Everyone started to laugh and even Tony chuckled. He put his hand on my back and grabbed me a champagne glass.
“As if Y/N. Gentlemen may I introduce you to Y/N Y/L/N. She’s also known as S/H/N. Y/N these are a few of our main donation investors. They are big donors to the C/N you are so big on.”
“Really? Well thank you so much! I’m glad I can finally put a name and a face to the donors who help those in need. Again thank you for your donations. Hopefully we can talk more later.”
They all nodded at me and I gave Tony a peck on the check. We were all wearing comms and I almost forgot when I heard Maria’s voice come thru them.
“Alright Avengers we have some big names and some big companies here. So tonight you’re to get the donors to donate to whatever your charity is. They have all been told beforehand that they are to hand you guys the money. Whoever comes up with the most money by the end of the night, gets a week off of work and the losers have to do whatever that person wants for that entire week.”
I reached up into my comm and pressed a button that was on the side of it so everyone could hear what I would say.
“Are there any rules to this little arrangement?”
“I’m glad you asked that Y/N, there actually is a few rules. There can be no teams or partnering up. This is a solo act. It is fine if you go to the same donor but you cannot be there at the same time. Also, you cannot rub it into each other’s faces how much money you have. You can also take down names of donors who are willing to donate full time to a charity. Now get out there and work Avengers. Good luck.”
Oh this should be fun. I already scanned the place for potential donors and those who would just be willing to give me money. For the next five hours that’s exactly what I did.
After Maria came onto the comms saying there was a contest, all the avengers went into what I guess you could say, Avenger-mode. I had already told Maria beforehand that I wouldn’t participate in it. I watched the team go around making a buzz go around the place. I counted how many people they were going to and took into account who gave them money and whose names they wrote down. I noticed that so far, Y/N and Nat seemed to be moving around the most which means they probably have the most money and donor names. I watched Y/N closely though and watched who would touch her or even talk to her. I guess that sounds a little possessive no? Y/N looked very cute and gorgeous in the dress eh was wearing. She had just dyed her hair to a pastel pink/purple color and that, paired with that dress was beautiful. It also helped that her hair was my favorite color. (I don’t know if it is or not but for this it is) I watched the way she glided around the room like she owned the place and how she would talk to the people and get them to do what she wanted. I don’t know why but watching her dance with some young and ugly dushbag made me feel something. I kept repeating the same mantra over and over again in my head. She’s not mine. She’s not mine. I don’t own her. She’s not mine.
I had already circled the room hitting all of the very rich people. Now I’m just going around and getting the others who could be potential donors. Right now I was dancing with some dushbag who kept trying to put his hands on my ass. Each time he did, I would reposition his hands somewhere higher than that. He leaned into my ear and started to talk some bullcrap.
“You should come with me and get out of here. I know you don’t want to be here just as much as I do. We can leave here and have some fun. Some real fun.”
“No thank you I’m on the job.”
“But you don’t care. You seem like the kind who wants a good lay and needs one now.”
“But yet I really don’t. So if you would be so kind as to let me go, I have others guests to attend to.”
“Now, now, I don’t think you understand, I wasn’t asking.”
Really? This idiot is at the very bottom of the idiotic line. I just nodded my head and we walked to the elevators together. Security was on the elevator and when we got there I got to work.
“Security take his name and number down and make a note to call him tomorrow and have Stark do his thing.”
“Of course. What would you like me to do with him?”
“Escort him off the premises. He’s no longer a guest here.”
“Why you little slut! I own you!”
“It’s a real shame that nobody here asked for your opinion. Now get out of here.”
I walked away from the elevator and went back to the party. I heard the man yell that I would be hearing from his lawyers and I just shook my head. I pressed the button on my comm and watched the others reactions.
“Is this party over yet?”
“What’s the matter Y/L/N? Can’t take the pressure?”
“Actually Cap I can it’s just after what I had to deal with I’d kinda like it to just be us now. Besides, some of us do have a mission at two in the morning tomorrow.”
“She’s right Cap. She’s got an early day tomorrow and so do I. Tony it’s time to end this.”
“Thank you Maria.”
“No problem Y/N.”
I cut my comm off and looked around for Tony. I saw him get handed a microphone and get up on a table.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s now twelve o’clock and we do have work in the next few hours so we are going to have to cut this party short. If you would all, please grab your belongings and follow the security guards to the exit. Thank you.”
Tony scanned the crowd and nodded at each one of us. We all left the room discreetly and went to the back room. There we would have our own little party and Maria would count the money with the help of Friday.
“Alright and the winner is, Y/N and Natasha! They both tied with $3,568 and a total of thirty donor names. So for the entire week you all have to do what they say and they get the week off.”
“Uhm Maria I have to work in three hours.”
“Not now you don’t. I alerted Fury and he’s changed that. A level six agent will go in your place.”
“So for a whole week me and Y/N have nothing to do? No missions, no recon, no op, no paper work, no nothing?”
“That’s correct Nat. This is a work free week.”
“Now what do you think about that Y/N?”
“I think this is going to be a very long week.”
“I’m with you there sister!”
Me and Nat clanged our glasses together and took a very big sip from it. The others laughed at our antics and shook their head. We were all just sitting around laughing and talking when someone brought up the idea to try to lift Thor’s hammer.
“It’s a trick man!”
“Don’t you know it buddy.”
I looked around the team and saw they were actually going to do this. I just shook my head when I saw Thor lift his hammer and place it on the table. One after the other, the team tried to life his hammer. Even Steve tried to but it didn’t move but he did manage to move it a little bit. The only ones who hadn’t yet to attempt it, was Nat, Bucky and me.
“Alright so the only ones who haven’t tried to yet is the Russian killers. Any of you want to give it a go?”
“Stark shut up. We are not killers and Bucky here isn’t even Russian. But back on topic, that’s not a question I need answered.”
“If I do this, you all have to agree to never do this ever again at any party.”
I just shook my head but I got up any way. I walked over to the table where Thor’s hammer was and grabbed the handle. I didn’t even notice it but I had managed to lift Thor’s hammer. I looked at the hammer and the team and saw they were all shocked as well.
“Well I guess your past doesn’t matter. If Y/N can lift it then anyone can lift it.”
“It’s fine Cap, I was going to call it a night anyway. Tonight was fun Stark.”
I placed the hammer back on the table and walked over to the elevator. The doors were about to shut when a metal arm came between the doors. I looked up to see Bucky standing there and I smiled at him and he came in and pressed his floor number.
“I hope your actually tried and not just leaving the party because I am.”
“No, no, I am actually tired and plus I didn’t want to have to listen to Stark and his rude jokes. He over stepped a boundary back there Y/N and for that I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know why. You aren’t the one who said it but its fine. He has a point. If someone whose as bad as me can lift the “worthy” hammer, then anyone should be able to. Besides I don’t really care.”
“But it should.”
“yet it doesn’t.”
“You asked Stark to end the party earlier why?”
“Bad experience that’s all.”
“Then why’d you ask?”
“Because I care about you and your mine. No one else should be able to touch you like that.”
“No one else? Bucky we’re not even together.”
“Then why don’t we change that?”
“And how do you plan on doing that?”
“By doing this.”
Bucky pushed off of the wall and walked over to me and grabbed my waist pulling me against him. He leaned down and his metal hand started to make its way up my back and behind my neck. He looked at my eyes and then my lips and I leaned up to close the gap between us. I never thought that someone like me, with my past, would be able to feel the way I’m feeling now. We eventually had to separate because we needed air. He didn’t pull away completely however, leaning his forehead on mine. I opened my eyes to see him smiling some goofy smile.
“Well that’s one way to do that.”
“Your mine Y/N. Only mine.”
“And your only mine as well Sargent.”
“I love you Y/N.”
“I love you too Sargent.”
“Mhm, I could get used to hearing you say that.”
“What I love you or Sargent?”
In which Dan wants you to paint his nails and then gets super happy and embarrassed when you do.
About a week before they were supposed to leave for Australia, Dan came to me. I knew 2017 was his year of loving and accepting himself more, so I wasn’t surprised when one night while were in bed he asked me to paint his nails. I was more supportive than anyone else, probably. “Of course, baby,” I said while smoothing my thumb over his dimple, “but we’re going to have to make a run to the store because I don’t think I have any polish here at the flat.”
The next day I dragged him up out of bed and down the street to the nearest drug store. I went to the beauty aisle and perused the countless shades and brands along the wall. Dan had slipped away and was hiding at the end of the aisle. “No one’s going to judge you picking out nail polish with your girlfriend, bear. Come over here and tell me what you want.” He came up to me and we spent the next fifteen minutes going through colors. Eventually he settled on a standard black, a sky blue and a sheer pink. When I sent him to get in line, I secretly grabbed a glitter polish as well. As a treat for being so patient with him earlier, Dan insisted we stop at a cafe and he buy me breakfast.
The rest of the day went on as normal, Phil had been awake by the time we got back and we all did our own thing. Dan and Phil went to stockpile some more videos before they left next week, and I decided to use the blue polish I’d purchased earlier on my toes. I was admiring the color against my skin when I heard the guys come bounding downstairs. I squealed and lifted my legs before they could jostle me and mess up the wet polish. Phil headed for the kitchen, saying he’d get started on dinner, while Dan plopped down next to me on the sofa. “It smells like a damn nail salon in here,” he teased. I nudged at him with one of my feet and he smacked it down. “Get used to it, you’re next.” Some of that shyness from the store came back on his face. I squeezed his cheeks between my palms. “I understand if you don’t wanna do this, we can wait or we can never speak of it again.” He shook his head as much as he could and I kissed his lips gently. “Great, then let’s get started!”
We both decided that the black and the blue were too noticeable for his first manicure, but he promised me that he’d wear it when he was more comfortable. So it would be the pale pink. We were in the dining room table and he sat himself across from me. I placed down a nail file, the pink polish and some top coat as well as a couple sheets of paper towel. The glitter polish was secretly between my legs, hidden from view. “Now, when I put all of this on, you need to be careful with your hands. The polish takes some time to dry completely so no typing or whatever else you’d do with your hands. I don’t wanna spend all night fixing smears.” Dan swallowed and nodded slowly. I gave him a gentle smile and reached out for his hands. He placed them into mine and I ignored how cold and sweaty they were.
I filed down a couple of his nails first. I knew he bit them so they were pretty short to begin with, but I still made them the same length. Next, I uncapped the bottle of pink and carefully painted his nails, smoothing off the excess. The polish was sheerer than I thought, and I did another coat asking him if that was visible enough or if he wanted it darker. He told me it was enough. I examined his nails, the color was barely noticeable against his skin. If he didn’t say he had any polish on you’d never know it. I figured it was time for the surprise. “So I was thinking, that pink is so cute, but it needs…something.” Dan raised his eyebrow. “What do you mean something? Did you get like stickers or jewels because I don’t think I’m ready for-”
“You think I know how to put that shit on? No, I just got this.”
I placed the glitter polish on the table next to the top coat. “It’s subtle, but when you go in the sun you could probably see the sparkle.” His face was unreadable. “I-It’s fine if you don’t want it bear, baby steps and all…I just thought you’d like it.” Now I felt bad, this was probably already weird enough as is being his first time wearing polish, I shouldn’t be pushing him. I went to put the glitter to the side. “No, you can put it on. I think it’d look kinda cute. Just maybe not a bunch okay?” I smiled big and uncapped the bottle. Of course not, just a little for flair and then you’ll be done, Mr. Howell.” He put his hands back where I could reach them.
When I was done and the top coat had been applied, I capped the bottles and went to turn on the kitchen light. “Woah! The glitter looks cool,” Dan said. I giggled, he looked like a little kid as he examined his fingers. He tilted them all around and watched the light bounce off the glitter. I smiled, happy that he was happy with it.
Later that evening we were all enjoying dinner and some show in Netflix I half paid attention to. Much to my displeasure, I ended up having to fix his nails a couple times before sitting him down and telling him not to move until we ate. He pouted, but listened to my orders. Now that I was certain everything had dried, he was back to playing on his laptop, but every few minutes I noticed him looking over his fingers, placing them in the light and looking at the glitter. Phil had noticed them earlier, and told Dan they looked nice, even joked that he would consider polishing a couple of his own. That made me smile, Phil was literally the most supportive friend in the world.
That night, while we were laying down in bed together, Dan kissed me until I didn’t know my own name. “W-What was that for?” I gasped. Dan ran his fingers through my hair and wrapped his other arm around me. “For being the best girlfriend ever.” The intensity in his eyes made my face hot. “All I did was paint your nails, bear. That’s not exactly a huge thing.” I laughed uncomfortably and wanted to cover my face. Dan was serious, though, not a trace of humor on his face. “Because most girls and guys I’ve dated would’ve never done something like this for me, even though painting my nails isn’t even that big a deal. You’re breaking gender roles pumpkin.” He was rambling, and he started sounding ridiculous. I wanted him to stop talking, so I brushed our lips together to silence him and and just laid my head against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and we went to sleep.
A/N: A little drabble because I really love that picture of Dan with his nails painted! ^o^~ He’s v soft and v adorable (Also I know I made Dan bi in this and that’s not rlly canon but I mean c’moooon)
(take with this what you will. this is supposed to be anyone)
(please send in requests!!!! I will write about whomever I tag below)
Maybe I was naive, maybe I was gullible, or maybe he really meant what he said. Whatever the truth may be, I still ended up in pieces. A million, tiny, sharp pieces that would cut you open if you ever came close to me. I trusted him, and he betrayed me.
I loved him. He was the first person I had ever loved. I wanted to believe so badly that we would defy the odds and come out on top. I wanted us to last forever, and he told me he felt the same way. Unfortunately, he lied and I cried. How does love go to hate so fast?
I remember when we first started talking. He told me to keep it between us, and I told him I thought that would be fun. No one knew about us and the deep conversations we would have at ungodly hours of the night and morning. I told him all of my secrets and he told me his. He told me I was one of a kind and he thought that was the best thing about me. I told him to stop making me blush.
I remember when I finally cracked and first told my best friend about us with the biggest smile on my lips. She lacked the enthusiasm I contained, telling me she failed to see what was so great about him. I told her that he was different from what she thought. She said that he was definitely not what I thought he was and he wanted to keep us a secret because he was embarrassed. I told her she was wrong, and that I would prove it to her. I should have believed her.
I remember the first time I went over his house. We sat on his couch watching dumb Spanish soap operas, even though the both of us were mediocre Spanish speakers at best. What my best friend had said messed with my head, and I did believe her for a bit. I found it difficult to pay attention to the show and he noticed that. He asked what was on my mind and I meekly replied, “nothing.” He knew there was never nothing on my mind, so he persisted. I told him.
I remember his reaction. He stared blankly at me for a few moments before letting out a deep sigh and lightly shutting his eyes. I stared up at him with big eyes and a hope that what my best friend had said was untrue. He looked at me again and pulled the typical boy move. He pushed my hair out of my face and reassured me that he wanted to be with me and that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. I believed him and I wish I hadn’t.
I remember walking into school with him the next day. The people who knew us stared and whispered and within the first block of the day, everyone knew we were together. People in my classes whispered, people in the halls whispered, teachers even whispered. I was overwhelmed and he knew that. He told me that was what he wanted to spare me from, but I told him I could handle it. It just took some getting used to. He got me to relax, and I was immensely grateful.
I remember the first time we ever really kissed. I was sad about something dumb when we were together and he hated that. At first it was just a hug, with his chin resting on the top of my head. It was simple, but it was sweet. He whispered sweet nothings to me as I moped about, and he found that ineffective. I was sad and I told him that nothing could change that. He tried to fix me anyways.
I barely remember the moments before and after the kiss. He had my head spinning in tens of thousands of different ways. I was ranting about why I was sad and I had failed to notice the look he was giving me. After I finished speaking, his lips were on mine within seconds. I melted into his touch, my stomach doing flips and my heart running laps around my entire body. I had never felt that way in my entire life and I never wanted to stop feeling that way. I was putty in his hands and he knew that.
I remember the first time I fell asleep at his house. It was a Friday night after an excruciatingly long week of school, and I desperately needed to relax. He and I had been dating for about two months at that point and they had been the best two months I had experienced in a while. I had dozed off on his shoulder while we watched a movie. I woke up to a million soft kisses on my neck and a billion selfies of me sleeping on his shoulder.
I remember the day I realized I loved him. We were driving around in his car with no destination in mind. We were silent; the only sound was the drops of rain and music that softly flowed from the speakers in the car. He had one hand on the wheel, the other strategically placed in mine. My eyes followed the street lights as we drove past them. I found myself very happy with him and the place I was at in my life. Looking over at him, a feeling so crushing to my chest flooded through my body and I knew. I knew then that the overwhelming feeling that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time was love. I loved him, and I prayed that he loved me back.
I remember the day he told me he loved me. I made him bake cookies with me, and no matter how many times he denied that it was fun for him, I knew it was. He got to eat cookie dough, which I couldn’t because of my raw egg allergy. He made a point to rub in my face all of the cookie dough he could eat. I had just put the cookies in the oven when I caught him staring at me with a light in his eyes that made me want to scream. I asked him what he was staring at. He told me, very nonchalantly, “the girl I had the pleasure of falling in love with.”
I remember the feeling I got after hearing him say that. I stared at him, blankly I suppose, because his smile dropped completely after a few seconds of no reaction. I was beyond happy that he loved me, and I was more than one-hundred percent positive I loved him too. For some reason, my lungs felt like they were being squeezed by concrete hands and my stomach felt like it was twisting in a million different directions. He apologized, reached out to me, and pulled me into his arms. I cried, told him about my problems with love, and promised him I loved him too. It was then I realized how deep my issues were rooted.
I remember going to the junior Prom with him. We had been dating for six or seven months, and I was still amazed by him. He dealt with my issues, which I was slowly overcoming, and never made me feel like a burden. I was more than excited for Prom because I knew it was going to be the best time of our high school careers. I wore a red dress with jewels on the top and a high neck. I even thought I looked great. I refused to let him see me in it before pictures for the prom. I only sent him pictures of the color so he could get a suit and a boutonniere.
I remember the look on his face when he saw me for the first time in the dress. He looked wonderstruck and like I was an angel gracing his presence on Earth. (He told me that was what I looked like soon after.) I had never seen him look at me like that, and it made me feel absolutely every happy emotion there was. He made me feel like a princess, and he definitely looked like my prince. My mother cried and so did his, and the both of us just laughed at them. Nothing could bring us down. Nothing at all.
I remember the party after Prom. He had offered to have it at his house, and everyone graciously accepted. He invited both of our friends, which had started morphing into one group with the progression of our relationship. Everyone got along, which made everything that much easier. Half of the grade ended up showing their faces at the party, which stressed him out a lot. Most were drunk, and we were on our way to getting there with them. It was a good thing we all had changed out of our expensive clothes.
I remember what came next. He had gone to the bathroom and I was alone on the couch. I held a drink in my hand and slowly looked around at everyone in the house. A different boy sat next to me, and slowly slid his hand up my thigh. I attempted to move it, but it flew back like a magnet. The boy told me that I was too good for my boyfriend. The boy told me that if I ever wanted a good time, a better time than with the boy I had, he was always available. The boy told me to leave with him so he could show me that good time, for future reference. I told him to “back the fuck up” and he didn’t.
I remember the fight that sprung from the dumb boy’s stupid remarks. He had come back from the bathroom and found me uncomfortably trying to get the boy away. His anger and jealousy reached its boiling point and he pulled the boy away from me. They started fighting while most watched except for a few who tried to pull them off of each other. After multiple screams from me and others to stop, they were pulled apart from each other.
I remember leaving them both in that room. I made my best friend take me home. I left him and the dumb boy at the party. I wasn’t entirely sure why I was so mad, but I was. He could have killed that boy, and although he deserved it, I was scared. I wanted to believe that he was better than that. After I got home, I ignored him for a few days. I ignored his texts, his calls, his attempted conversations in the hallway. I ignored him to the best of my ability.
I remember how he showed up to my house the following Saturday, soaking wet from the rain and frown on his lips. I finally stopped ignoring him and let him in my house. I gave him a towel and waited for him to start speaking. He started off by apologizing and explaining about how it made him sick to picture me with any other guy. He began rambling on about that and about how much he loved me and wanted no one else but him to be with me.
I remember telling him to shut up as I laughed slightly. I kissed him a few times. I gave him new clothes to change into and showed him to the bathroom. I sat on my couch, scrolling through Netflix. I tried to find a movie to put on but failed miserably. Nothing looked good to watch. I made him pick a movie after he changed and we ended up watching Pulp Fiction for the fifth time. Halfway through the movie, he asked what the boy from the party said to me. I told him everything.
I remember his reaction like it happened yesterday. He frowned, his anger etched in his eyes and facial expression. His hands balled into fists and he let out a long sigh. I muttered his name a few times, trying to get him to relax. Instead, he looked at me, a blank expression on his face, and asked if I was unhappy with him. I felt my heart crack in half at those words. He was genuinely curious. He thought I was upset about being with him. I guaranteed that if I was unhappy, he would know it. I, then, proceeded to tell him that any girl who would be unhappy with him was dumb and unaware of what they were missing.
I remember that night being the first time we had sex. We kissed for a while after that conversation. Sweet, simple, happy kisses. Slowly but surely, those kisses became more. I moved onto his lap. His hands gripped my hips as we began getting more heated. I gently kissed his neck as he stood up and carried me to my room. He laid me down on my bed and pulled my shirt over my head. We kissed until all of our clothes were off and his hands had touched almost every part of my body.
I remember seeing colors. Red, orange, yellow colors clouded my vision in a mix, splattered across the walls. Brown, his eyes staring deep into my heart and soul. The colors made it seem like everything was a dream, but the feeling was very very real. Red faded into orange and orange faded into yellow. I felt like the sun, shining warm, bright colors from every pore of my body. Everything was so beautiful. The colors, the sounds, us as one. I thought things couldn’t get any more perfect. He was all I ever needed, and I knew that then. I know that now.
I remember spending the summer with him. We went out together almost every single night, whether it be going to the movies, a restaurant, or one of our houses to watch Law & Order. Shockingly, we never got sick of each other. We went on college tours together, we went to the Fourth of July festivities together, we went to every party together. People were shocked that we were still perfectly content with each other. Some even made bets as to when the relationship would end. All of them were wrong. I blame this summer for the beginning of our downfall.
I remember our first major fight that we were both angry in. Towards the beginning of senior year, it was evident that we were spending too much time together. Certain comments that were made by either one of us would result in arguments, banter or even worse comments. We were getting into slight arguments almost all the time, and then the biggest fight of them all occurred.
I can’t quite remember what the fight was about, I just remember the screaming match we got into over it. Disgusting words were thrown at each other and we both said “fuck” and other variations more than we ever had in both of our lives. The fight occurred the night before the homecoming game, where the Queen would be announced. Both of us were on the Homecoming Court. We screamed, and I cried, and he called me pathetic. I was devastated. We didn’t talk until the football game.
I remember us making up after I was crowned Queen. I was happy, although there was the underlying dismay cast upon me because of the fight. He was the first person who greeted me after I got off of the field. He hugged me, we both apologized, and hugged some more. The next day he was crowned King and after the Homecoming dance, we had the best make up sex.
I remember the day I realized that our relationship was on its way to the end. We were watching Spanish soap operas on his couch and there was a tension in the air. Everything was different. We felt as if conversation was needed to avoid silence, when we preferred the silence before. We started fighting more often, and slowly, our relationship started to become based off of sex. We had sex more than we hung out regularly. After I got home from his house, I cried for hours. I couldn’t believe that was happening to us. Our relationship was so beautiful, so different, so loving. It was a shame to see it go up in flames so fast.
I remember the day it really ended. Somehow, we had made it to graduation together, and a few weeks into the summer. We had both decided upon colleges to go to. We were going to the same city, but our decisions were not influenced by each other. We had grown apart. I barely told him anything anymore, and he held back from me too. Most often than not, we were fucking or uncomfortably watching TV with each other. It was a mutual decision to end it. I was still beyond heartbroken.
I remember shutting everyone out for the rest of Summer. He had broken me. Any time someone tried to talk to me about him, I would tear them down with nasty comments and rude tones. I was mean to every person who cared for me, and I sometimes made my mother cry. I felt bad, but I was broken. I had never been hurt more by a person than I had been by him. Only after everything was over did I realize he had so much control over me and my emotions. I loved him then, I loved him after it ended, and I love him now. I always will.
Now, you tell me. Was I naive? Or was this real? Did he mean what he said? Or did I have too much hope for something that was bound to fail? Whatever the answer may be, our relationship was the most beautiful pleasure I have had in my life. I know I will never find anything like us ever again. Maybe, if we’re truly meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other. Who knows? I sure as hell don’t.
A/N: Hey guys, so this one is kinda based off of a car ride I had with this guy that I really like, and as soon as I got home I immediately listened to this song and cried to my best friend. (also, this took me MONTHS to write, im talking since like fucking June-Julyish) P.s halsey is queen
Warnings: explicit language
Song(s) Used: Drive- Halsey
Pairing: Dan x Reader
Word Count: 1401 words (ohh look at that, longer than usual)
It was late, must’ve been around 1:45 am on a Friday night. The party I was currently attending with a few friends was still in full swing, but I was bored. Maybe it was because of the fact that I wasn’t drinking, because I had to be the sober driver, but I was bored. My night has consisted of being hit on by my friends and watching my drunk friends act in an animalistic state.
As I was sitting there, thinking about wanting to go home, Dan comes over and sits next to me and leans his head on my shoulder.
“(Y/N), can you take me home? I’m really tired.” He asks, slurring his words slightly. I giggle at how childish he looks, feeling butterflied in my stomach because of the close contact we have. I say yes and we stand up and head out the door.
I jump in the drivers seat as he jumps in the passengers seat next to me. We put our seat belts on and then I start up the car. There’s something about having this insanely attractive guy in the car with me, that makes me feel so awkward and nervous. I wrap my hand around the stick shift and put the car into reverse, reversing out of the drive way, and then when we reversed out, I put the car into drive, and then we were taking off.
I quickly glance at Dan sitting in the passengers side and he looks so peaceful, so content, his face illuminated from my headlights bouncing off of an exit sign that I just missed. “Fuck” I curse to myself. But Dan, he just laughed at me
I feel like I cant keep my eyes off of him, but as dangerous as that is as a driver, I wish I could just stare at him forever.
It’s always been obvious that I like Dan, and it’s always been kind of obvious that he likes me, except neither of us are willing to admit it to each other in fear of rejection. And so we drive, and i think about all of the feelings buried inside of me, hiding them, not wanting him to know just yet, but I always feel like I’m waiting for a sign from him that gives me a definite answer to whether or not he does feel the same way about me.
I quickly glance over at him, and the look on his face, maybe he’s thinking the same thing, maybe he’s thinking about all the feelings that he hides. I guess we let our pride get in the way when it comes to admitting our feelings.
I turn my music on to release some the awkwardness in this silent car. And the first song that comes on is Creep by Radiohead.
“Holy shit, I love this song!” Dan exclaims excitedly as he turns the music up. I let out a little giggle at his excited behaviour. He’s everything I could ever want, he is perfection to me, and also Dan managed to sing out the words perfectly in tune; maybe that was because the actual song was playing, so it was easier for him to get the notes, but he did.
We stopped at a red light, and I look at him for a little while, just admiring him in all of his glory. His cheeks red from the alcohol that was consumed, the smile on his face, looking content; his lips. Looking at his lips illuminated by the red light in front of us, it’s almost like I can feel his soft lips on my neck and I can’t shake off that feeling. It’s like a tingly feeling on my neck that nerve goes away.
“What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here. I don’t belong here…..” Dan finished the song in a harmonious tune, it was quite beautiful actually.
“Oh my god that was so bad” he laughs. Almost as if his laugh is echoing down the high way. His laugh is so compelling, such a joyous sound. His laugh always makes me happy, instead of feeling the hollowness in my chest, I feel happiness.
This whole process was going fairly slow, I mean the whole ‘Dan and I’ process. Apart of me wishes he woud just make a move already, but then another part of me wishes he wouldn’t. Why? because theres nothing worse than getting what you’ve always wanted, only for it to end up being not what you thought it was gonna turn out to be, and not what you wanted in the first place.
What if that would happen to us? It’s something I’ve had high hopes of for a while now, and what of Dan and I get into a relationship and nothing is what i thought it would be and the both of us wind up being disappointed and hurt. What if?
“What are you thinking about?” Dan leans over to my side of the car and whispers in my ear. The feeling of his warm breath slightly on my neck is enough to send shivers down my spine. I swallow hard, trying not to think about what just happened.
“N-nothing, just trying to concentrate and getting you home in one piece.” I joked. I could feel his eyes on me, burning through my skin, and I knew what look he was giving me. His smirking face. “But seriously, it’s not important, don’t worry about it.”
We were stopped at another red light and I looked over at his face, he looked like he was almost disappointed. “Well, you’re one of my bestfriends, and i would’ve thought you would be able to tell me anything that’s on your mind.” Best friend. Best friend. Best friend. Just bestfriend, and that’s all I’ll ever be I guess.
“It’s a conversation for later, Dan” I sighed as I started driving again, about 5 minutes away from his flat. But he wasn’t having any of it.
“Pull over” he demanded
“What? Dan n-”
“Pull over (Y/N) Goddammit!” He shouted. I obeyed and pulled over on the side of the road
“Dan! What the fuck’s your problem?” I yelled at him, looking at him like he was crazy (but i was probably the crazy one)
He looks at me, his brown eyes burning into mine. “Fuck sakes (Y/N)! I know theres something you want to tell me! I’m not stupid.” I look down after he says those words, contemplating whether or not it’s worth it. I look at him with regret in my eyes. Regret for not telling him, but also regret for even having this conversation in the first place. He looks at me almost the same way. “(Y/N), you know I like you, so if thats what you were thinking about, then please tell me. I can’t be left with all these questions with no answers to them.” Dan confessed softly. His confession should’ve shocked me, but it didn’t because he’s right, I knew.
“Then you must know that I like you too? You can’t be that oblivious can you?” I admitted, slight annoyance in my voice mixed in with a giggle (if that’s even possible). Dan laughed shaking his head.
“Yes, I can be that oblivious.” he giggles to himself “So, what do we do now?” Dan asks, uncertainty in his voice.
“Well it’s simple, we can’t stay here on the side of the road all night. So how about I take you home?” I asked but he smiled and shook his head no.
“Orrrr we could….” He smiles and leans in, closer, closer, closer until i feel his lips on top of mine. We both smile into the kiss and honestly? It’s everything I imagined
“All we do is drive. All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign, sick and full of pride. All we do is drive…”
This is a bit of 6x01 rewrite, specifically the Olicity scenes.
I wrote this to try to work out my issues with Olicity in episode
6x01. I know some people enjoyed the show as is, this may not be for
them. But I struggled with the interaction between Olicity after they
become closer between 5x20-5x23 and they had returned from the island 5
months ago…why are they so uncomfortable and distant? Just my
thoughts. This was not written to create a debate, I just wanted to
write what I wish I had seen. Also I don’t know who pointed out that they thought Oliver’s new place was in the same building as Felicity’s loft but I agree and included that, so thank you.
No beta, mistakes are mine. Also available on AO3.
Flashback to 5 months ago shortly after the explosions on Lian Yu
Oliver looked over at Slade from where he stood next to Thea’s lifeless body. “Slade, stay with my sister! I radioed a distress call from the boat calling for emergency personnel. I suggested they contact Lyla Michaels for help. I have to go find the others. If they come make sure my sister is on the first plane out.”
Slade nodded stoically and Oliver took off in the direction of the abandoned plane as that was the last location he had for Felicity.
As he got closer he began yelling. “Rene! John! Curtis! FELICITY!!!” Slade had told him Quentin and Dinah were okay and that was a relieved.
All he saw was debris burning, he began to cough due to the smoke. They had to be here. They just had to. “John!!!”
May I ask for a Shukita fic where Yusuke takes care of Akira who needs some TLC please
“don’t get me wrong,” ryuji says, tipping the chair back so it balances precariously on two legs. “but our leader is kind of weird, isn’t he?”
“huh? what makes you say that?” ann asks. “not saying i’m agreeing, of course!” makoto peers up from her book to gaze curiously at ryuji, silent for now but clearly ready to jump in.
“i’m not saying it like it’s a bad thing!” already on the defensive; it seems ryuji can be self-aware sometimes. “just- has he ever talked about his hometown to you guys? his old friends or his family or anything?”
ann’s brow furrows and she raises a finger to tap her chin. “you know, i can’t recall….”
her response is enough to give ryuji motivation to continue. he leans forward, his hands curled into fists. “right?! and isn’t it weird that he’s here in the first place? if i got sued, my mom wouldn’t let me out of her sight! but that guy’s parents just shipped him off to live with a total stranger!”
“maybe his parents aren’t around often? they could travel for work, you know. mine were the same way.”
“yeah but- right there! you still talked about them!”
“he probably has a reason for not talking about his past,” makoto speaks up, closing her book and placing it on the table. “we shouldn’t speculate.”
ryuji looks as though he wants to protest, but before he can open his mouth akira is finally walking in with morgana perched on his shoulder. yusuke thinks idly of how easy it would be to tap his foot against one of the legs of those chair, how effortlessly he could make ryuji fall back. this gossiping feels wrong.
yet now that the fact is pointed out, yusuke can’t stop thinking about it. he’ll drop mentions of madarame, clear openings for akira to relate with an anecdote of his own, yet there’s nothing. akira keeps the conversation focused on yusuke, manipulating the subject to remain off of himself. akira is reminiscent of a blank canvas, coming to life only after being touched by the brush of the metaverse and big city. frustratingly, he refuses to open up unprompted.
yusuke isn’t a fan of blank canvases on principle, so he decides to do something about this. he shows up early on sunday morning without a warning text; sojiro is accustomed to seeing him by now and knows his order, leaving yusuke alone with a cup of coffee to wait until akira awakens. as usual akira seems to take his time waking up; it’s late morning by the time he emerges downstairs, his hair as disheveled as always. he’s wearing sweats and a t-shirt this time, which is a new look for him.
he pauses when he spots yusuke though, murmuring a greeting to sojiro as he goes to yusuke.
“good morning,” he greets, sliding a hand in his pocket.
“good morning,” yusuke replies. “i’m not interrupting any plans, am i?”
akira shakes his head. “i was just going to the batting cages. did you have anything in mind?”
“i’ll accompany you,” yusuke says as he slips out of the booth. akira shrugs, half-turning so he can tell sojiro he’ll be back later. yusuke thanks him for the coffee, and together he and akira leave cafe leblanc.
“are you even into baseball?” akira asks once the door is shut.
“that’s the one with sticks, right?” choosing to ignore akira’s wary look, yusuke says, “i had no idea you played.”
“i don’t, really. just when i have some downtime.” a response, but not enough of one to give yusuke any real information.
“are you any good?” he presses.
“i’m alright.” a shrug. “i’m a bit rusty.”
finally, yusuke thinks. “you used to play?”
a nod, but rather than offering anything else akira asks, “what’s with all the questions?”
“i- is it that obvious?” another nod. yusuke chuckles. “it was brought to my attention that you don’t share many details about your personal life. you know so much about me, but all i know about you is you have a criminal record. i realize i don’t like knowing so little about you. i’d like to learn more about you.”
is it just his imagination, or akira’s cheeks a bit redder now than before? the shorter male runs a hand through his hair, sheepishly avoiding yusuke’s eyes.
“that’s really about it,” akira tells him. “my background really isn’t that interesting.”
“so tell me, then,” yusuke insists. he doubts akira anyway; for someone so brazen in his actions and fearless in his decisions, he has been known to underplay his own accomplishments. what he may think of as boring is probably anything but.
akira stops, putting a hand on his hip and facing yusuke fully. “let’s go the convenience store instead, then. we can pick up some snacks and go back to leblanc’s.” at yusuke’s guilty look, he adds, “my treat.”
“very well,” yusuke nods. “i promise to pay you back.”
they settle in akira’s room, both in their usual chairs and with a bag of chips on the table before them. yusuke listens as akira talks about his hometown and playing baseball, of his parents going through a nasty divorce and neither of them wanting akira (he looks too much like his mother, his dad said; he takes after his father, his mom said), of never quite fitting in at school because he never could relate to his classmates.
“i understand,” yusuke says softly, because he knows how it feels to stand out due to circumstances outside of his control. he thinks of class projects and being invited to groups not for his company or personality but for his talent. his classmates talk about subjects yusuke has no idea about, let alone any ability to relate to, and that feeling of isolation. he thinks now of the slight jealousy he feels that he is the one to not go to shujin, and he contemplates later how he believes akira feels like an outsider within the group as well, elevated to a higher plane simply for being the leader.
akira smiles gently. “yeah,” he agrees just as quietly. “i know you do.”
Notes: trigger warnings! Implications of sexual abuse, mentions of torture, swearing, injuries, angst, fluffy, smut, a very protective Bucky who knows exactly how to be sweet and careful.
A/N: This is it. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. Thank you guys for all the comments on this! And if you’re sad that this is over; we still have Reprogramming, which will be revisited sometime! x
She still submits to me on occasion; willingly or maybe out of habit, her nature, I suppose. Not what she always was, but the way they made her. Lately I’ve been feeling particularly cross with Hydra. And by cross, I mean I want to fucking rip their collective heads off and shove them up their collective asses, and do the same with the two heads that’ll take the place of the first I rip off. This, because the better she’s doing, the more the horrifying things they’ve done to her show. She’s getting more spontaneous, witty, brave as well. She goes up against me if she feels like it, if only to play around but also when she means to push her own way instead of leaning with mine. I love her for it, I love hearing her say what she wants, I love the way her eyes shine with defiance and her jaw sets decisively. It also never fails to turn me on.
We’ve been through every pharmacy nearby. And then some. That veterinary college at West Peachtree Tech, that’s one place people may not have thought to raid for medication. The drugs for animals there are the same we need. That’s 50 miles. Too big a risk before. Ain’t now.
Note to self
Don’t lose the color in your veins
Beauty doesn’t equal pain
Take your life back today
Live for all the right reasons
Note to self
Don’t lose the sparkle in your eyes
There’s a rainbow after the tears you cry
I wish that you would realize
You’re anything but ordinary
Nothing is more self-destructive
Than pretending to be happy
When everything inside you is
Screaming that you’re not
Each and every moment in time
Can be the heartbeat of a bucket list
Love yourself and never give in
Neither will be easy
But soon, you won’t be able to tell the difference
Note to self
Don’t lose the truth in your smile
Letting a demon steal it would be vile
Take your pride back today
You don’t owe anyone an explanation
Note to self
Don’t lose the universe in your heart
It’s better to grow with broken parts
I hope you’ll be reminded
That true love is never one-sided
I know you have dreams
It’s never too late
To bring them to life
You want to be seen
To find your place in the world
To find a home
These dreams didn’t die
They’ve lived inside you all along
Time and trying are the same
Remember when I told you I was visiting a friend in the UK last weekend? Well, I’m doing it again next weekend. It makes me incredibly happy to be in the UK and around her, so I want to do that as often as I can.
Exam week is still coming up soon, though, which means I have to study very hard before going there and also probably when I’m there. Today I’m working on communication practices - a subject I failed last semester. I’m organizing all my notes and rewriting them where they’re all together in the same place. I can do this!