not looking at my bank account

grumbles angrily

Need to go to the craft store tomorrow and pick up more supplies for my necklaces. I shouldn’t be grumpy because I know these are an investment and they do sell at my aunt’s farm, so even though it’s a financial blow now, it’ll pay off down the line. But still. I know what my bank account looks like right now.

so earlier i remembered how during one philosophy class, my professor asked us all to consider what we would do if we could be invisible for a day, because (as she would reveal to us later) she wanted to prove a point about observed accountability and situational morality. we all wrote down our answers, submitted them anonymously, and the prof read them back to us. about 95% of them were like “prank people”, “rob a bank”, “get in places for free”, “scare my best friend”, “spy on someone”, “sneak into closed off areas”, etc.

prof. read them all aloud so she could demonstrate how virtually everybody chose something they couldn’t morally or socially get away with if they were witnessed, and she was looking awfully entertained about how quickly the class proved her point until she got to one that just said “go swimming in the ocean.” 

she stopped, read it again, and after a short period of confused silence a girl piped up very earnestly from the class “because the sharks wouldn’t be able to see me.” 

5

★Hey! My plant girls i’ve been designing are all up on my redbubble! ★

i’ve got prints, notebooks, phone cases, stickers! ideal for buying all of them and shutting yourself off from the world, because you never want to do anything except look at them.

feel free to peep at them and possibly chuck your tender into my bank account! thank you!  ❤

9

 Who else has such robust good looks in such a large amount? I’m handsome and I’m talented and love your bank account! It’s the Count C is for Courageous, another word for brave. O “Oh my god, what a very handsome knave.” U Unbelievable good looks and brains and heart! N for the Knowledge, ‘cause I’m very very smart. T for the Talent which is such a crucial factor when you’re handsome and good looking and the world’s greatest actor! 

Adulting 103

I apologize for being MIA, I’m on vacation with the future father of my children. I hope ya’ll had a safe and happy holiday season and are looking forward to the new year as much as I am.

This week please send love to: @laurenashley96 and @thedarklordpanda

1. Automatic payments. Don’t enroll in automatic bill payments unless you’re extremely comfortable with the company. This will prevent companies from charing your bank account or credit card extra without your consent. For example, I’m confident that Birchbox won’t overcharge me, but have less faith in Verizon. 

2. First aid kit. Purchasing a first aid kit should be one of the first things you do when moving out. They generally cost around $25 and include items such as cold compresses, burn cream, and more bandaids then you will ever need. I purchased one when I first moved out and it lasted me 2 and ½ years before I needed to replenish it. 

3. Dishwasher wanted. Real talk- having a dishwasher has changed my life. I used to spend forty-five minutes to an hour doing dishes every day, sometimes twice a day. Now I spend fifteen minutes.

4. Pee after sex! Ladies, UTIs are no joke. Get in the habit of peeing or showering after sex to minimize your risk. 50% of women will get them in their lifetime, and the medication will fuck with your birth control. Guys can get UTIs too!

5. Milk. More expensive doesn’t always mean higher quality, but in the case of milk it makes a huge difference. Organic milk lasts significantly longer than any milk you can purchase for under $2. Like, over a week longer.

6. Winter-proof. Is your apartment freezing? Winter-proof your windows! You can buy sheets of “window plastic” to seal off gaps, cracks, etc. These will make a huge difference in your apartment’s temperature.

7. Scented trash bags. Are literally the same price as regular trash bags, but help keep your trash smelling manageable. 

8. Chalkboard paint. This is a wonderful invention that turns your boring walls into one continuous canvas. Get your landlord’s permission and know that you will be required to repaint before moving out.

9. Shopping list. Keep a piece of scrap paper in your kitchen and jot down any items/produce you may run out of during the week. When it’s time to go shopping, you’ll already have most of your list completed.

10. Food hygiene. Rewrap/repackage your deli meats and cheeses a few days after purchasing them. Wrapping paper has a shorter shelf life than the products themselves and will cause them to spoil early.

Only Us

Pairing: Peter Parker (Tom Holland) x Reader 

Word Count: 761

Summary: What happens when the reader saves Spiderman…while he’s saving you? (I’m sorry I’m horrible at summaries—fuck it.)

Warning(s): Swearing

Part One


Please be enough. I thought walking to the atm machine. Please, please. I needed at least 30 dollars to get food for the rest of the week. I punched in my security code biting my lip in anticipation. Around half the time I came to atm at the bank to get money I walked away my face red from embarrassment of being rejected. One of the great perks of being fifteen—your parents had your atm pin and regularly used it for booze, booze and…well booze. The window opened revealing my total. $10.54.

“Fuck.” I cursed hitting the machine. I exited the window out of my account turning around ignoring the looks of the the other bank goers.

“Everybody on the ground! Now!” I turned to see about three men who entered the bank machine guns in hand. I bent to the ground following the other people in the bank fear gripping every inch of me. “Against the wall.” They ordered. We all moved to the wall our backs pressed against the cold granite surface. At least they would only rob ten dollars from me. I thought closing my eyes trying to think of the positives of this situation. God I hated Queens. I heard sobbing from around me and I gripped my knees breathing heavily trying to calm myself.

Keep reading

WAYS TO SAVE + MAKE EXTRA MONEY AS A STUDENT

as a student, I know how stressful it can be to juggle school, hobbies, sports, etc. and try to keep your bank account somewhat plentiful. I spent a lot of time looking on Pinterest for ideas and have included some of my own tips to make this master list.

MAKING MONEY

  1. tutoring! not just for high school students, but also consider tutoring elementary and middle school students. Math is the most needed area. You can also tutor before/after school, during lunch, etc… you don’t necessarily have to make house calls.
  2. be a note-taker/study guide maker. a lot of people would rather buy study guides and notes off of people than get tutoring because it’s cheaper and it might be more beneficial for them. You can also do this online. steer as clear from PLAGIARISM as you can on this one. NEVER sell homework assignments or projects.
  3. consider getting a “seasonal” part time job. an example of this is working at a golf course, because the peak season for golfing is in the spring and summer, which means you’ll work the most during these months and much less in the fall and winter when very few people are golfing (note that this also depends on where you live and what the weather is like year round, but this is just one example).
  4. sell your old clothes to friends/classmates or online (their are many apps that allow you to sell your clothes, such as vinted)
  5. if you don’t know what clothes to sell, hang all of your clothes in your closet the same direction for a month. every time you wear something, put the hanger in the opposite way. at the end of the month, go through all of your hangers; the hangers that were never flipped in that month show you don’t really wear them and therefore, you can sell them and make some extra money.

SAVING MONEY ON SHOPPING, BUYING FOOD, ETC.

  1. learn how to make homemade versions of your favourite starbucks drinks. that $5 tea or coffee you have every morning adds up. instead, make your own and invest in a thermos if you don’t already have one.
  2. don’t bring money to school unless you aren’t easily tempted to buy unhealthy snacks.
  3. try and only shop/eat out at places that have reward systems.
  4. pack LOTS of snacks if you’re known to get hungry a lot while studying.
  5. make a habit of prepping your lunches and breakfast every night for the next morning.
  6. go on “saving sprees” and treat yourself in small ways.
  7. potatoes are almost always cheaper than ramen, and they’re healthier for you!
  8. borrow and download free ebooks and audiobooks as much as possible… especially if you’re a book hoarder like me.
  9. instead of spending money on pricey cleaning products, baking soda can be used to clean just about everything including bathrooms, dishes, countertops, stains, etc.
  10. bring reusable bags when shopping at stores that charge for plastic bags.
  11. costco refills most ink cartridges for only $10.

OTHER TIPS

  1. “know your poison”… does cash burn a hole in your pocket or are you more tempted to swipe your debit card? figure it out and stay away from it.
  2. print things at the library/school as much as possible.
  3. dedicate time to scholarship hunting, even if you’re in university.
  4. put your talents to use and see how you can save and make money from them.
  5. keep track of your saving and spending… whether it’s on your phone or on paper, keep a record.
  6. if you save $1 everyday that $365 in a year saved for extra uses.
  7. $2 everyday is $730.
  8. collect coupons… yes, become a couponer, your grandma/mom doesn’t do it for nothing.
  9. a 2 litre pop bottle filled with dimes equals about $500.
  10. borrow clothes/ask for hand-me downs when you need certain clothing for an event, presentation, etc. instead of buying something.
I'm Not Here For Love

You know…lately even though my bio says clearly “Don’t swipe unless you’re looking for a sugar baby” vanillas still swipe and that’s cool. But what aggravates my soul is these men entering my messages trying to convince me I’m way too beautiful for this lifestyle. Like wtf are you? A goddamn therapist? Life coach? What? Like they keep telling me how I just need somebody to love me and spoil me with affection. I let a man do that once, and ended up with a broken heart and $6.73 to my name. But the minute I stopped using my heart and started using men my bank account balance went up (and so did my credit score thanks to Daddy) my skin started glowing, my edges came back, I got in shape, became debt free. I mean the list goes on. Love isn’t gonna pay my bills. Not saying I’ve lost hope, but I’ll be 23 next month and I’m still not where I wanna be in life. So fuck all that. There’s a $ where my heart should be and I don’t think that’s going away anytime soon. Money, Money, Money. That’s all I care about right now. I have dreams and goals and shit I’m trying to accomplish and mr vanilla man, your “love” isn’t gonna help me get there. #DrunkRant

4

“If one day I’m all black I’m still a model. If one day I’m all white I’m still a model. I am not my skin. I am a model with a skin condition.

“I get comments saying that I’m a leper, I control how my skin changes, I bleach my skin, my skin’s burned. None of those are true. The world is looking at me now. I either let the haters affect me or I step my money up. When I stand back from all the hate and I check my bank account… Hahahahaha.”

Chantelle Winnie is a model in demand: her army of fans includes artists, designers and photographers. She told Eve Barlow about her journey from a schoolgirl bullied about her vitiligo to runway queen and took some exclusive pictures for the Observer.

Photos: Mary Rozzi for the Observer

Hey handsome…………of that money to me