not like i am now but feel like

do u evr just cry because 5 yrs ago ppl were so mean to u and u just took it bc u knew u were the better person and they didnt even deserve a reaction from you but its just like why r ppl so mean my feelings arent even hurt i just feel sad for the person i was 5 yrs ago going thru tht but maybe now i can cry because i can look back on those times and know i am doing just fine in my life like i knew i would be back then run on sentence in order to unleash the run on of emotions 

I was just thinking at work today about the discussion going around yesterday about Killian being an alcoholic and no one saying anything about it to him or trying to help him when he needs it. And I want to be angry at the characters, but I can’t. They all become props for who ever’s story is the focus. If the writers really let the characters they’ve established actually have moments and time with each other, things would be very different. 

Snow would have totally noticed something was off with Killian. She is perceptive just like her daughter and has helped so many people. Established since season 1.

So would have Emma. But with the proposal and right before it, she was legit just a prop. Emma is the main character and we don’t see her reaction to finding the ring? And just to end up causing Killian to angst even more. Emma in 411 (curse that ep) knew something was wrong when they were still a new couple, though again, she didn’t do anything bc the plot was all about rumple (Still one of the most unfulfilling things, what a let down. How do you have that amazing set up and do nothing with it?).

Idk just a thought. I’m like not even angry anymore, or disappointed. I may have reached the point were I have finally accepted how bad the writing has gotten and just enjoy the few things we get. The salt has settled to always be there but in a way that may let me still enjoy it? if that makes sense? Semi distancing myself? (but not really bc i still love this show even though it does this to me)  Or am I just still too jet lagged and still on a high from last week?

dancingpenguins  asked:

I apologize if your asks are not open...but I had a meta question about Yakov and the last chapter of Winter...He seems to be warming up to Yuuri. So I was wondering if it isn't too spoliery where he stands currently on the "Not really impressed /He is my adorable son in law" scale? What is he feeling right now as of this latest chapter about Yuuri? (I love Yakov and I am just curious.) <3 As always I love your work. Hugs!

I love Yakov as well! (And yes, I reopened my Asks.) :)

In my Winter Song head-canon, Yakov is basically Victor’s father. Like any parent, Yakov is looking speculatively at his future son-in-law and is wondering if Yuuri is the right person for Victor. It’s protectiveness. Not dislike.

Keep in mind that Victor dropped his skating career (and his coach) to go running after Yuuri - and Yakov did not like that one little bit. But he also sees the positive change in Victor and that Yuuri is encouraging him in the right direction.

At this point in the story, Yakov is waiting to cast judgment on Yuuri. He likes what he sees so far. After Yuuri told him “I would help Victor whether or not you coach me on the side”, Yakov’s opinion of him improved a lot. He’s seeing that Yuuri loves Victor just as much as he does.

I probably won’t cover too much of their future relationship in Russia, but I see Yakov taking Yuuri under his wing and becoming a secondary coach for him. He’ll do this because it takes some of the pressure off of Victor … but also because Yakov likes Yuuri and sees a great deal of promise in his skating. I also see Yuuri flourishing under the combined coaching skills of Victor (the dreamer) and Yakov (the realist).

Basically, I see Yakov as a huge softy. He’ll come to view Yuuri as another member of his family.

Ok I’m actually terrified to write this for some reason but here we go, since I finally worked out my sexuality and am actually comfortable with it for the first time like ever I’ve been trying to work out my gender bc the label ‘female’ never rlly seemed to fit me u feel???? So I’ve kinda worked out I think I’m maybe non binary, so for now I’d like to go by they/them pronouns, at least on here, just to see if I’m comfortable with those pronouns, idk when I’ll be comfortable enough to tell people irl this (probably never) but baby steps ok baby steps ok bye💕

Getting Organized

I’m making a Forever Tag List! I know some of y’all have asked to be tagged in a certain series and a few have been asked to be tagged in everything. So to keep my mind clear as to who wants tagged in what just like this post if you’d like to be on my forever list! Tagging everyone that I tag in fics now. If you do not wish to be added to the new improved list then feel free to ignore!

A/N: I am completely redoing my tag list. If you do not like or reblog, you do not get added.

Keep reading

Restless

Summary : Dean x reader  -  You do you best to keep your feelings for Dean to yourself  .Especially when he is already with your friend.  But he doesn’t make it easier   when he keeps  coming to your room at night unable to sleep .  


   " I don’t know about the rest of you but I feel like I could sleep  for  like a week “ you said as you dragged yourself into the bunker. it was well past midnight and the four of you were just getting home from a hunt

.  ” I totally agree with  that statement “Sam said with a yawn  hauling his bag over his shoulder  ” that why I am heading to bed now  night  "  he said as he disappeared down the hallway to the bedrooms.

     You glanced over where you friend  Amber  was winding her arms around Dean’s waist and leaning her head on his shoulder. “ we should head to bed too ” she said  You met Dean’s eyes for a split second  before you looked away heart racing ..

 " yeah let’s go  "  he said “ Night y/n ” he said   “ yeah night y/n ” Amber said as they walked past you  she reached out giving your shoulder a squeeze  . You smiled “ Night ” you replied and watched them disapered down the hallway.

 You sigh and made your way to your own room.  You open the bedroom door  you stood in your doorway  just looking at your empty bed for a second . It was getting harder to ignore  these feelings  when you were around Dean

   You didn’t want to be jealous of Amber but that is what you were  . Knowing she was the one was going to be curling up against him tonight. Falling asleep in his arms. It hurt more than you care to admit .

   But you didn’t want to denied either of your friends happiness  so you kept your mouth shut and push the ach in your heart down  . You closed  your  bedroom door and threw your  bags off to the side to be taken care of at another time

   You pulled clean sleep clothes out of your drawers and quickly changed  before you slip underneath your covers  and turning off the lights.  You were bone tired  your body screaming for sleep to come but your mind was racing in a million directions

So after about 30 minutes of tossing and turning you sat up and turn your lamp back on with a frustrated sigh you ran a hand  through your hair.  Sleep  was not going to come easy tonight.

 You pulled   your favorite book out and settled back into your pillow prepared to read a bit   hoping that would get you sleepily enough to fall asleep.  You  had  read 3 chapter when  there was a  knock on your door  .

 You looked up as the door open and Dean appeared in your doorway seconds later  you laid the book down in your lap “ hey though you be asleep by now ”  you said  He sigh “  yeah  me and you both  ” he replied  walking further into your room

 " I guess I am still a little wired  " he said  " I was walking back from the Kitchen and saw your light on “  Can’t you sleep either ?”  he asked  you shook your head looking down at your book ..“ I guess I am a little restless tonight ” you replied looking back up at him

 For a second your eyes met you could feel the heat of his stare  all though  your body . You finally looked away  " is Amber asleep ?“ you asked  he nodded ” crash as soon as she laid down “ he replied

   You smiled. ” You want to sit  with me till you wind down “ you asked earning a smile  ” yeah “ was his reply .

   You grinned and patted the  bed next to you  and reached  over to grab your IPOD  to turn on some music  . With the music on low  Dean  settled down next to  you on the bed. Stretching out  hands behind   his head on the pillow.

   "So what go you so restless tonight ?” you asked looking down at Dean who  was starting up at the celling . His gaze flicker over to yours.  " I don’t know I guess just thinking “ he replied

 ” could be dangerous  " you joked earning a small tab on the leg from  him  but then you were very aware that he kept his hand there on your leg.  You werent sure if he was aware   cause he kept talking.

 " ha ha “ he said then he rolled over on his side  facing you  ” is that why you can’t sleep?“ he asked  you nodded but didn’t say anything how could you  when  most of the thought you were having that were keeping you awake were about him.

 ” and reading is how you relax and help you sleep ?“ he asked   ” it helps “ you replied as you shut your book and slid down the bed to where you were now on your back and you could just turn your  head and  you were eye lever with Dean.

He was blinking at you sleepily   in an effort to stay awake .  You couldn’t help  but smile as you watched  his eyes slowly drifted close. You knew you should get him up and back into his own room

 This was very dangerous territory for you  but you couldn’t make yourself  do anything . You just laid there watching as he slowly fell asleep  .His breathing became slower and deeper . You watch in fascination as his lips parted slightly as he breath deeply.

   you forced  your eyes  up to the ceiling. You were in so much trouble.. You sigh and leaned over and shut off the light .  You closed your eyes and even though it was wrong   you pretended just a while  that he was suppose to be in bed with you   that this was normal . That he was yours.

************************************

 Neither  you or Dean brought up that night  he was gone with you woke up the next morning after you had spent half the night just laying there listening to his soft breathing.  So you figure since he didn’t say anything  he wanted to let it go  so you would  .

   That was until it happen again a couple days later .  You had come home late from a night out with Sam  and you had just settled into bed with your book in your lap to help you settle  your mind before  you tried to sleep .  

   You hadn’t seen Amber or Dean when you had come though so you assume they were out or gone to bed . Sam had found a girl to go home with so  he wouldn’t  be back till  tomorrow  .

 You had just started to get into your book when there was a knock on your door  ” it open" you called out . The door open and Dean poked his head in a shy smile on his face  " I see you  made it home and  Sammy did not  " he said

   You grinned “ have you come to rub it in my face your brother is getting lucky tonight while I am not ” you said  and started laughing at the  look on Dean face “ It ok  I wasn’t looking anyways ” you replied

   "Why is that ?“ he asked   you shrugged  ” guess just not in the mood “ you replied  looking up at him.   "Where is Amber you asked turning the conversation around off you .

 "She is out with some friends  she hasn’t seen in  awhile” he said will be back in the morning “ he said  "So I was thinking…” he trailed off reaching around to rub the back of his neck looking anywhere but you

 You grinned  and patted the bed beside you not sure if what  you were doing was right . Dean grinned and settled down on the bed beside you  this time on his stomach resting his head on his arms.

   Turning your music on you pick up your book . It was on your tip of your tongue to say something to ask about this .. To ask about what this was ?“  but  you swallowed the question down and concentrated on your book instead.

   it was peaceful  and  like always reading calm your mind and relaxed so before you realized it  you were drifting off .

******************************************
The next thing you knew you were startled awake when something warm pushed up against you. You opened your eyes blinking at the light that was still on  .. You were now laying on your side . You guess you had doze off.

 You attempted to shift and roll over but that when  realize  there was a arm thrown  over your middle and your back was pressed up against a warm chest  .  Soft breaths were hitting the back of  your neck..

   You tense up realizing what had happened. You Shift just a little earning a  sleepy moan  from Dean who’s arm tighten around you. Your heart was in your throat. You really should try to wake him up ..

 Even though you didn’t want to .. You laid your hand on top of his that was laying across your stomach. You could pretend again .. Just one more time .

 You reached over to turned off the light and settled back into Dean’s chest  He sigh and shifted more into you.  You closed your eyes trying to relax to go back to sleep.  It didn’t help when  you felt his lips press softly against the back of your neck .

   You bit your bottom lip to hold back a moan  you knew sleep would be a long time coming again for you tonight .

************************************

   ” hey y/n  have you noticed  that Dean been acting different lately ?“ Amber asked coming up to you . You nearly choked on the glass of wine that you had been sipping  on  as you two  were in the kitchen in the bunker  fixing something up for dinner.

   ” What Dean ?“ you said after finishing   your drink ” how?“  you asked looking at  your friend .  Amber was a pretty redhead  with bright green eyes  you guys had  met up working  the same case a couple years ago and a friendship formed  .  You were the one that introduce her to Dean.

 ” I don’t  know he just seems restless  lately. “ she said  . Amber sigh and ran a hand through her hair. ” I don’t if it’s me or it just something bugging him “ she said   you felt guilty.

   You didn’t know what was in Dean’s mind . You guys hadn’t talked  but you had noticed  he was looking at you more  now . He was looking at you different and now it was effecting your  friend.

 ” Talk to him Amber   make him sit down and talk to him .. Or  just go out the two of you for a romantic dinner  " you said making your mind at that point  to stop pretending.

“You really think ? ” Amber asking  you nodded  forcing a smile on your face .  " Now go and grab the guys I think dinner is ready “ you said as you turned around so the smile could slip off your face  when you knew she had left the kitchen  you let your body relax .

 You couldn’t do it  not to your friend .Dean couldn’t come to your  room anymore . You weren’t even sure why he was in the first place.  You may never know but you would have those memories of those few night of laying with him in the dark.  If that all you could get that would be ok

    So later at dinner everyone discussing plans for the evening  Sam brought going out for drinks .  ” Let’s go “ Amber said leaning into Dean . Dean lifted his beer  up to his lips to take a drink before answering his eyes meeting yours.

   You had to do something .. ” yeah you guys should go …  you two haven’t had a night out in  while “ you said  pulling your eyes away from Dean .   Us single  folks can  go  mingle else where ” you said .

“ What do you say ?” Amber said grinning at Dean who just nodded letting Amber pull  herself into his lap for a kiss. You look away .

*******************************

     You were awaken  from a restless sleep when you felt the space  beside  you on the bed   dip with new weight.  You rolled  over groaning lifting  your head off the pillow.  You found yourself staring  at Dean  who was laying on his side   prop  up  on  his arm  looking down at you.

   " Dean what are you doing here ?“ it the middle of the night ? ” you asked  shifting a little to sit up a little .. “  Can’t sleep ” he replied   you sigh and ran a hand  over your face “ Dean .. Listen you can’t .. I mean  this isn’t right.. ”  you said

   "  You have Amber if you can’t sleep  she is the one you go to “ you said  feeling the ach in your heart grow a little bigger.   He sigh ..  ” You gonna ask me why  I can’t sleep ?“  he asked

   You sigh .. "Why ?” you asked Suddenly  he was  closer so much closer  and reaching out to run a finger along your jawline . You couldn’t help but tremble at his touch  your eyes flutter close.

   " Can’t stop thinking about you .. “ he said  his mouth so close to your ear ” Even before that first night  you were all that I thought  about  "  he said  his lips ghosting over your ear.. Leaving your whole body aching ..

   your hands fisted  your covers to keep them from reaching out for him..  " You made me restless.. Only time I found peace is when I came in here  when I could feel you next to me “ he said .

 You forced your eyes open to look at him ” Dean  this isn’t right. Amber is  my friend “ you said ” I can’t hurt her  "  you said trying to remain focus on the conversation and not the fact Dean’s mouth was only inches from yours

 He pulled back a little studying your face. “ we talked  .. ” he said  Tonight  when we went out  I was honest with her  told her why I seemed distant . “  we both agreed  to call it quits  ” he said

 You sigh .. “ how am I going to be able to talk to her”    you said . Once again  his hand came up to cup the side of your face  his thumb  rubbing  your bottom  lip  " it ok   she was fine ..  She told me she had  a feeling anyways :“   he said

 He pulled you in closer  his lips brushing against yours.. Your breath catching in your throat. ” tell me  this is what you want “ he said softly kissing the corner of your mouth softly..

   The moan that escaped you was so soft but you both heard it . His hand slip around to  slid his fingers through your hair .  ” Tell me “  he said again as he kiss the other side.

 ” I do “ you replied once you were able to get the  air  to come back to you lungs  . The finger in your hair tighten and suddenly he was pulling you in and his mouth was on yours.

   Both of you groan as the kiss deepen and Dean was suddenly rolling you back on your back .  His mouth leaving yours   to start trailing kisses down your neck . At the same  he was desperately trying to remove your shirt .

Giggling you pulled back a little  he groaned at this but watched you with dark eyes as you sat up and quickly pulled your night shirt off  ” Better ?“ you asked  ” getting there “ he said wrapping his arms around and  pulling you down and settling you underneath him

He was pressing his solid body into  yours and It was doing funny things to you.. As his mouth found it way to your neck and down again. Taking his time  kissing and teasing every inch of your bare skin with his mouth.

   you reached out arms wrapping around  him hand clutching at the smooth skin of his back feeling the muscles move underneath your hand as he began to slowly rock his hips into you in a pace that was driving you mad.

 His name came out  in a moan  and  he lifted his head and his mouth found yours again .. ”  I got you baby “ in between kisses and it took everything in you not to just let go at those words  mixed with  his touches.

 You lost track of time as he slowly made you melt underneath his touches and kisses until you slowly came apart  his name on your lips.

"So remember  when you asked me that first night I came to you what I was thinking about that cause me not to sleep.” he said sleepily as you lay together tangled up you head on his chest.

 "mmn" was your replied as you couldn’t find the energy to form words at that point “ This was what I was thinking about  ” he said   You lifted your head to look at him  " made it kind of hard to  sleep “he said with a little smile on his face.

 You chuckled  ” dirty minded..“ he silenced you with a kiss.. ”  You know you like it “ was his reply  rolling your eyes you snuggle  back into his closing your eyes.. ” ok so maybe I do “ you admitted
 
 ” just because I was just thinking the same things “ you added earning a chuckle from him before both of you drift off to sleep  restless minds at peace.

okay so I am… very bitter. I was screaming, clapping and jumping during Yuzuru’s SP, it was amazing. Then there was that 4Sal and that slip, but we all saw the slow-mo. His knee didn’t touch the ice. Why would you invalid the 2T when it’s a proof of fighting an incident on the spot? Know what I mean? Like Ambesi said, when the situation is so in doubt, you usually favour the skater.
It’s no surprise Yuzuru feels as bad as he does. I do too. Nathan’s and Fernandez’ PCS were inflated. I am glad for Shoma and Chan, but Yuzuru was just so, so unlucky, and now he feels like he is not capable of being at the top anymore. I hope this bitterness will turn into something beautiful in the FS. But fuck the judges, honestly.

artielu  asked:

1/ So one of the thoughts I'm having after that amazing chapter is how excited I am to see what killian is like, how he grows. Thus is kinda incoherent but like, he finally fir the first time has his base Maslow hierarchy of needs met. He's warm, he has a safe place to sleep, he has enough food, and he's not afraid of physical or emotional violence. For the first time. And he's learning to trust someone. Learning that it's safe to have feelings and share himself instead of just being sweet/

2/ and cowering because that’s the only way he got any food and fewer beatings. But now, he can actually have a safe place to explore more if his personality, things he likes and dislikes. And I think they’ll both be surprised by that development… she cares about him and she is attracted to him and she wants to take care of him… and mold him, with his consent, into her tool and companion and toy (in a nice way). But still using him, not presently respecting his boundaries (see re /
3/ dream catcher and ps fuck you very much on that front it felt like I was there)… but she sort of… respects what he’s been through but doesn’t quite think of him having his own opinions yet. Because he doesn’t because he’s never had the luxury or safety of having opinions. She doesn’t want to hurt him or embarrass him, she wants to care for him… but she doesn’t see him as ever disagreeing with her. She likes that he never had disagreed. And part of that is that he’s agreeable and /
4/grateful for his rescue from torture and servitude but also because his opinion never was relevant to anyone before, most especially to himself. So I am really, really eager to see how this plays out… him finding out about the dream catcher invasion of privacy, him developing his own opinions and feeling safe enough to disagree or get mad or frustrated with her, and him eventually realizing that the sub is actually the one in control, that he can say no and trust that she will respect it/
5/ which she sure as hell didn’t when he said no about his memories. It will be really interesting to see how she reacts to her toy/companion finding a bit of a spine and how the darkness reacts to that weakness in her regard for him. She clearly cares but also clearly is having a hard time remembering how to show care, hence the apology for him hearing people tortured via bj (beautifully done, btw). So I’m expecting some drama in C4 as killian finds his way back to himself with his basic/
6/ needs finally met and him finally safe and watching how he reacts and she reacts when he learns about what those circle things are for and sees his feather and shells in one. This is just such a great fic with so much depth and complexity and yet also has hot smut. I am enjoying it immensely. Thank you!

Okay. Let me first start by saying. I love you. This is gonna get long and I’ll try not to be spoilery but I absolutely love this discussion.

There is nothing more gratifying to me than someone picking up EXACTLY what I’m putting down, be that the underlying themes, little snippets of detail, or just general symbols and everything you’ve described here is exactly what I was trying to convey and why I structured the story in this manner AND why I had to extend it.

I had a lot of scenes for developing both of them that I thought could be quick and dirty (not like sex dirty but you know, well not ONLY like sex dirty…) but then when I wrote them all out in a list I realized I needed a lot more room.

I wanted to see how Deckhand Hook would be in an environment where he basically has everything he wanted. Where Dark Swan has a person who didn’t want her to be anything but herself and who didn’t want to use her, and how they individually adjust to those vastly different environments. At the same time the reason it’s lite sub/dom is that there is an aspect of needed control that DS has, and a life of regimented order and being controlled that DH Hook has that taking them out of those dynamics would be pretty ruinous for them, but that worked perfectly for the characters together.

I also wanted to explore anxiety in its different manifestations. That’s something that is incredibly important and central to my life, and this fic kind of let’s me highlight the different coping mechanisms that come into play, and the different ways that they don’t necessarily help, and that just reassurance alone doesn’t even help, it’s a deeper issue than that. Emma manages hers with emotional unavailability, unhealthy outlets, and control of her environment and the people in it. Killian in contrast pretends these problems don’t exist, fills his world with mindless activity, and requires someone else to help him make decisions to prevent himself from spiraling and really focusing on what he wants. So seeing if they can work back to center will be fun.

I also really love the sexual healing aspect on both sides. Emma learning to respect someone else’s needs, work around her own desires to just take and get it out of her system, having to slow down by necessity, and healing some of Killian’s insecurities through an outlet that had been out of reach to him in the environments he had been in before but how that in turn, as is the nature of anxiety, brings up totally new fears he didn’t have to deal with before this was a part of his life.

I also wanted to kind of bring the CS dynamic from the show into it. Killian and Emma developed emotionally in regards to relationships at vastly different rates due to their underlying personalities and it took some drastic things for them to come together as a unit. I still think the show fails on allowing us to see Killian’s side of things, and that Emma doesn’t necessarily respect his emotions/boundaries/needs to the degree she should even 6 seasons in, but from a character aspect that works really well for DS. And of course this Dark Swan is based a lot of what we saw in S5, she was still very vulnerable and sweet and gentle in her interactions especially with Henry and Hook, but could be cold and terrifying like with the dwarves/Rumple/Regina when she wanted something.

And of course there is the self preservation aspect of the darkness, since it is its own cognitive being in a sense, to work with as well that colors some of Emma’s interactions. Even DH Hook’s moral ambiguity is pretty central just because of how he was brought up, and his struggles with that and learning how he wants to feel about it now that he has a choice in how he feels.

And to a degree, the audience’s own inherent moral compass, the fact that you don’t really sympathize with the “villains” at all, or feel sorry for them, and can kind of feel free to root for Emma despite how ehhh her actions are.

And those things are A LOT of fun to explore.

I hope the pacing is okay with the remaining two chapters, I didn’t want to rush their development, that was really critical to me since this is a character driven rather than a plot driven adventure story, but I also didn’t want to drag on with little interactions that weren’t necessarily meaningful (as fun as little head canon scenes can be) so I chose scenes that were both critical for them and for the plot overall. Ch4 is furthering them and their relationship and how they react to actually being in one, and Ch5 kind of brings everything together if that makes sense.

Ch3 and Ch4 are really one central theme split into two parts because holy chapter length batman. So I hope people aren’t put off by the lack of adventurey plotty plot, that has been my fear from the beginning, since this is more subtle emotional and relationship development through interactions type story and any drama is based more on their character flaws and internal darknesses rather than outside events.

I just really love that you and others have kind of just gotten what I wanted to say immediately. It’s a really different fic for me to write in that they aren’t going off on some adventure and learning each other through external strife, and I love it and I’m so happy it seems to be working like I intended and will always hope it doesn’t come across as boring or dragging.

Your support it for has seriously just made me so very happy, and the recent weeks have been some of the best I’ve had in fandom.

anonymous asked:

I'm at the point where I am just waiting for babygate to end. Without it I'm going to continue to be pessimistic about long term situation. If babyage ends its an indication of some steps forward. Otherwise louis' situation just continues to get worse and now we have Liam's mess. babies just seem like long term shackles.

yeah i believe with my whole heart babygate will end i just don’t know when and while i hope it’s sooner rather than later, until it actually does end, i feel like we’re just stuck in purgatory.

i literally feel so astonished at the fact that the byeler ship has grown so much??? like…i remember back when it was like 3 people including myself who talked about it. i remember when the ship name was conceived on my blog through a series of asks debating the different ways to combine their names………

and now ppl i may or may not have ever even interacted with post about it on twitter and instagram and?!?! i’m floored lmao this post serves no purpose except to tell u that i am having a hard time processing how far this tiny lil Ship That Could is reaching.

anonymous asked:

Also...I wanted to share something if that's okay..For a while I mean I knew I started having feelings for girls, but I also know those feelings have been there cause I can remember feeling like this when I was little girl and I just denied them. Now that I am 22, I'm slowly accepting that yes I like girls. It's hard because it scares me and I know that might sound silly but it really does. Its taking time but I'm proud of myself for realized who I am. Now I just don't know where to go from here

Oh sweetie, I am soooooooo proud of you!!! That is an absolutely incredible and beautiful story, and one that so many of us share. You are perfect and real and not at all alone. Welcome to the family, my darling!!! As for where to go from here, I mean, the world is all open to you now!!! If you feel supported and ready to do so, you can start coming out to the people closest to you, or you can revel in your beauty alone for a while to get used to it more on your own – that’s totally valid as well! Anything you choose is completely valid, including seeking out and finding queer communities (both here and in the physical realm) that will love you and welcome you! I’m sending you soooo much love and congratulations, sweetheart: you’re amazing!!! :D <3 <3 <3

Originally posted by alexandmaggies

anonymous asked:

Why don't you feel good enough?

I feel overwhelmingly inadequate in almost every aspect of life right now. I feel like I annoy everyone around me, I feel like my running is not going as well as it should be, and I am struggling with some really bad body image issues that I’ve never dealt with before. I’m just very overwhelmed by a lot, and I use my tumblr as a place to vent. I’m sorry if this seems super negative- I really am okay!

anonymous asked:

Did you ever met someone who doesn´t quite know if she´s gay or bi or simply just doesn´t like any gender? I´m asking this because this is how I feel. I always felt different since my childhood and now I am 25 and never had a relationship with a girl even tho I have felt atracted by them. I had 2 relationships with boys but none lasted more then 10 months. The truth is, i feel like I´m better alone but feel extremelly lonely at the same time. Do I make sense?

Everything and everyone makes sense! I had gone through the same way, now i only like girls and i still don’t know if i really liked guys before or it was just what society told me to do. Maybe you can be asexual but at the same time you’re an extravert and you need to have people around you to feel good? Wouldnt you feel alone if your friends always surrounded you? But if you feel lonely bc you don’t date someone, you just didn’t met the right person so it wouldn’t feel right with anyone

………………………..wholesome