not in my house buddy

anonymous asked:

I got pretty drunk Friday night and invited one of my fuck buddies over to my friend's house. So there I am laid out on my friend's guest bed waiting for my fuck buddy. He gets there and we get down to business but like I'm out of it, I don't remember a lot because alcohol. But I do remember pushing him off of me and throwing up all over the floor and him carrying me to the shower. The next morning while shamefully cleaning my mess I find his shirt.. the boy was so shook he left shirtless 😂😂😂

I mean I’m not gonna comment or judge your alcohol / sex combo but I hope u had a good time and are ok

6

..Wendy.

I kinda like that sketchy style, I might keep it :p

Soo I finally decided to answer some older asks. It’s gonna take me only like, what, 40 years?

for some reason I get a lot of asks for Laxus and Cobra’s first meeting, so expect that sometime in the future

in the next 100 years

also:

reason number 345678 why Acno shouldn’t be a parent

anonymous asked:

Hi! Just wondering since the starks are Jewish do you have any Jewish actress in mind ? I was thinking Jason Isaac's for ned but not sure for anybody else

This very quickly devolved into “THAT person is Jewish???” but with an assist from @57001, here’s my official Jewish fancast:

Liev Schreiber as Ned Stark

That jawline tho.

Isla Fisher as Catelyn Stark

She’s a redhead! She’s a convert! (talk to me about convert!Cat please and thank you wow)

Ezra Miller as Jon Snow

The hair. The face. The everything.

Alden Ehrenreich as Robb Stark

He’s young Han Solo and he even looks a bit like Richard Madden.

Maude Apatow as Sansa Stark

Raise your hand if you also just found out that Judd Apatow has a daughter? Also, honorable mention to Dianna Agron for being too old but a great pick.

Odeya Rush as Arya Stark

Mayim Bialik is the perfect adult Arya, though - the face shape! My undying love! Wow!

This is cheating because he’s also too old, but this is exactly how I picture Bran in my mind:

Logan Lerman as Bran Stark

Smol baby Logan Lerman is a perfect Bran and I’ll fight you

and finally,

Max Burkholder as Rickon Stark

Rickon is hard but this kid has great hair.

datanullyx  asked:

Hey so 9. and 33. Pretty please?

9. One more step, I dare you.
33. Can you give me a hug?  Just once?

This might not be exactly what you were looking for… but it’s what popped into my mind with these prompts.  Something a little different than what I normally gravitate towards!


At first, he thinks it’s the thunderstorm that’s woken him up, which would be a reasonable assumption- it’s one of the worst he’s ever seen.  DC’s spring storms have nothing on Florida’s.  But as he lies totally still in his hotel room, in between the crashes of thunder, he becomes aware of another sound through the hotel wall, coming from the room next door.  A series of high, keening sobs, reaching a shrieking crescendo as a sustained flash of lightning whites out his vision, and that’s all it takes for him to rocket out of his bed.  He grabs his glasses from the nightstand and his gun from his holster… and after a half-second’s thought, he yanks on the sweatpants he’d earlier discarded at the foot of the bed.

The connecting door is unlocked, which both surprises him (she’s a federal agent and that’s an awful lot of trust she’s displaying in him) and relieves him (at least the hotel’s not going to have to bill the FBI because of damage to property).  The lights on the other side are off, the bed is empty, and in the next flash of lightning, he sees her.  She’s crouched in the far corner of the room, half-hidden behind a chair- and her gun is pointed directly at him.

“One more step, I dare you,” she says, in a voice that shakes just as violently as the hand clutching her weapon.  Very slowly, he reaches out and places his own gun on the nightstand to his left and raises his hands so that she can see that they’re empty.

“Agent Scully,” he says, in a slow, calm voice, “I’m not going to hurt you.”  He can see from here that there’s no recognition in her face, only panic, and he knows, instantly, what’s going on.  "It’s Walter Skinner,“ he says.  "You’re in a hotel room in Orlando, Florida.  We’re attending a conference.  There’s a thunderstorm outside, but you are not in any danger.”  She lowers her gun slightly.  Encouraged, he takes a cautious step towards her.

“That’s not right,” she says, her voice wavering.  "Where’s Mulder?“  Pure panic overtakes her face again, and she raises the gun.  Skinner stops moving.  "What have you done with him?”

“Agent Mulder is back in DC,” Skinner says.  "He’s home sick with the flu.“  Scully closes her eyes and takes a deep, ragged breath.  "Scully,” says Skinner, lowering his voice, “everything is all right.  You’re safe.  There’s nobody in this room except you and me, and I promise, I’m not going to hurt you.”  He takes another step.  "I promise.  You are safe.“  Her head lowers with a heartbreaking sob, and the arm holding the gun falls to her side.  Intuiting that the danger has passed, Skinner goes to her- still moving slowly- and helps her to her feet.  He leads her to the bed, where she sits, her head in her hands, and he places her gun on the nightstand alongside his own.  He turns on the bedside lamp, bathing the room in a dim, orange glow.  After a moment’s hesitation- he’s not sure what Scully would deem "appropriate”- he sits next to her.

She’s trembling so hard that the bed is shaking.  He doesn’t need her to tell him what’s happened, but he knows from experience that what helps or doesn’t help is different from one person to the next, so he does need her to tell him what to do.

“Dana,” he says gently, “how can I help?”  She shakes her head violently.  "Come on,“ he cajoles her.  "It’s nothing to be ashamed of.  I just want to make it better for you, all right?”  She peers up at him, and he nods encouragingly.

“Can you… I’m sorry, Sir, I know this is inappropriate-”

“Don’t worry about that,” he reassures her.

“Can you give me a hug?” she asks, looking at the carpet instead of at his face.  "Just once?“

"Of course,” he says.  He slides closer to her on the bed, still moving slowly to keep from spooking her, and takes her in his arms.  She’s stiff at first, still trembling fiercely, but as he holds her she calms, until after what feels like forever to him (but is, in reality, probably more like a minute), she’s no longer shaking.  She pushes him away gently, and takes a long, shuddering breath.

“Thanks,” she says softly, still not looking at him.  

“Don’t mention it,” he says.  "Do you have them often?  The flashbacks?“  She jerks her head up to look at them, eyes wide.  

"How do you know-”

“That that’s what was going on?”  She nods.  "I have them, too.“  He laughs mirthlessly.  "Me and at least half the Vietnam vets still alive and kicking.  They’re not anywhere near as frequent as they used to be, though.”

“Not for me, either,” she admits.  "In fact, it’s been months.“  She gestures towards the window, where lightning continues to flash.  "It’s the storm causing it.  The lightning… it makes me think I’m back….”  She waves her hand vaguely.  "Wherever I was when I was abducted.“

"I thought Mulder said you didn’t remember any of that,” Skinner says.

“I don’t, not really.  But I do know that wherever it was, there were bright, flashing lights.”

“What do you usually do when it happens?” asks Skinner curiously.  It’s clear to him, from what’s just transpired, that Scully requires outside help to pull herself out of the waking nightmare.  He’s got a pretty good idea of who that someone usually is… and Scully’s blush confirms it.  "Mulder?“  She looks away from him.  "Come on, Dana, I’m not looking to get you into trouble.”  She looks up at him out of the corner of her eye and nods.

“He’s a bad sleeper,” she says.  "He come and calms me down when he hears me.  It’s why I left the connecting door open tonight.  Force of habit.“

"And how about at home?  The nights you’re not together?”  Her mouth drops open, and suddenly, she looks terrified.

“Sir,” she says, “I know the rumors, I know everyone assumes that we’re… that Agent Mulder and I are… but that’s all they are, is rumors.  Stories.  More ways for people to discredit us.”

“Dana,” Skinner says gently, “I saw you.”  She pales visibly.

“Where?” she whispers.  He can understand her fear- they’ve been careful, Skinner knows.  They stand a little closer than most at work, it’s true, but it’s been that way since the beginning.  They’ve always been in their own, impenetrable little bubble… but there’s never even the suggestion that something more might be going on.  He’s walked into their basement office and felt that energy between them, sure, but caught them in a delicate moment?  Never.  Discretion is a language in which both of them are exceedingly fluent.

“My sister was in town last month,” he says.  “She dragged me to the symphony.  You and Mulder were sitting maybe ten rows in front of us.”  She covers her face with her hands.  “I saw him kiss you.  And, well… it didn’t look like the first time.  But Dana, listen: I don’t care what you and Mulder do in your free time.  I don’t care whether the bureau says I’m supposed to care.  You and Mulder watch each other’s backs, you get your work done, your solve rate is way better than any of my other agents, and you hand me receipts for two separate hotel rooms every time you take a case out of town.  Beyond that, what you do is your own business.”  She risks a look at him and finds him smiling.

“At home… if he’s not at my apartment, and I’m not at his… he usually just drives over if a storm blows through,” she admits.  “Sometimes he checks the weather forecast.”  She grins sheepishly.  “Before this year… before we were together… he used to just stretch out on my couch if he got there and I was sleeping through it.  I’d wake up and find him out there in the morning.”  This year?  Skinner tries not to show his surprise.  He’s been assuming they were an item for a lot longer than that.  “Can I ask… what do you do?  When one of these flashbacks hits you?”

“I have a list of phone numbers taped to every phone in my house,” he says.  “Old army buddies, mostly.  I go down the list until I find someone who’s home, and they talk me through it.”  Scully opens her mouth to respond, but she’s interrupted by the trill of her cell phone, lying on the nightstand.  Skinner picks it up and hands it to her.  He’s sitting close enough that when she answers it, he can hear Mulder’s voice on the other end, asking if she’s all right.

“I was checking the forecasts online,” Skinner hears him say, “and I saw you were getting a storm down there.”  Scully grins and looks at Skinner bashfully.

“Mulder, you’re supposed to be sleeping,” she says.  “You’re sick.”  Skinner stands- clearly Mulder will be taking it from here.

“Gonna go,” he whispers.  “Goodnight.”  Scully glances up.

“Mulder, hang on a second,” she says, and lowers the phone.  “Sir, that list you mentioned?  The numbers you call when it happens to you?”

“Yeah?”  She smiles.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like you to add mine.”

warning signs // pcy

Originally posted by foreverxoxoexo

→ mafia!park chanyeol
→ in which two respectively fucked up people found a way to love each other despite the warning signs.
→ word count: 3k
pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3 // pt 4 // pt 5 // pt 6 // pt 7 // pt 8 //
→ song of the chapter: leaving tonight by the neighbourhood

Keep reading

“Other countries have something called a ‘historic downtown.’ It would have been nice if the areas starting from where Jongno-gu office used to be, and from Junghak-dong to here had been preserved as a historic downtown, but the only thing left is this one alley. Back in the day, these roads weren’t paved, either. I used to play marbles and Ddakji* here. At that time, I probably would have wondered why people came here for sightseeing and what there was to see in this neighborhood. Originally, it was just a few Hanok-style houses in front of the National Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art. Now, one of my buddies’ houses turned into a cafe, one a restaurant, but one is still a house with a front lawn. I had no idea it would turn out like this. The atmosphere is still good, and it’s calm.”
“Are you going to keep standing here, looking?”
“Just look at this line… it’s quite cool, isn’t it?”

*Ddakji is a traditional Korean game played with folded paper tiles.

“다른 나라는 구 시가지라는 게 있잖아요. 예전에 종로구청 있는 데, 거기부터 시작해서 중학동부터 여기까지 구 시가지로서 보존을 했으면 좋았을 텐데, 이제 이 골목길 하나 남은 거예요. 여기가 예전엔 포장도 안 되었죠. 제가 여기서 다마치기도 하고 딱지도 쳤죠. 옛날엔 (왜) 여길 관광 하고 다닐까하고 생각했었겠죠. 이 동네가 뭐가 볼게 있을까 하고요. 원래 현대 미술관 앞에 그냥 한옥 몇 채 있었죠. 이제 친구놈들 집이 하나는 카페가 되었고, 하나는 음식점이 되었고, 다른 하나는 아직 마당이 남아있는 집이에요. 이렇게 될줄은 몰랐어요. 분위기는 아직도 좋지요, 차분하고.”
“여기 이렇게 계속 서서 보고 계실 건가요?”
“그냥… 이 선만 봐도 멋지잖아요.”

DRUNK!REGINA

regina is really mean

when she drinks tequila

part 77

| the drunk!regina tag |

| all parts |

½

Off Limits (Part 2)

A Liam Dunbar Fan Fic

A/N: Part 2 is finally up so sorry about the wait! I did something a little different, I hope you all like it.

Warnings: Cursing, sexual content.

Chapter 1


Chapter 2

To my fortunate surprise the day went smoothly all thanks to Mason for getting my papers ready. I played it safe and simply introduced myself, went over the syllabus, and tried to get to know each class. Most of the students were nice, some of course could have cared less, and then there was one who stood out. Liam Dunbar. The whole time I spoke during 1st period his eyes never left mine, like he was genuinely listening and interested in what I had to say. The little stunt he pulled before sitting down that first day still rings through my head, he called me hot. His words clouded my thoughts, I had to shake him. Come on get it together y/n. He is a student, you are 5 years older than him. He is off limits.

A week later….

Liam’s P.O.V.

“So the new anatomy teacher, she is really cool and not to mention hot. Definitely a 10.” Stiles said from across the table. My eyes shot up to see who he was talking to. Scott smiled and replied. “Yeah, she is nice and just so happens to be gorgeous. It will be an easy A.” The boys high fived each other. Malia spoke up this time. “I thought you guys already took anatomy?” Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I hated the thought of them talking about her like that, okay so maybe I am jealous. “We did. We are taking her AP course for extra credit and I need it for college.” Scott replied. Oh yeah he was going to be a veterinarian. Makes sense. Stiles is just a nerd wanting extra credit. “Liam don’t you have her too?” Malia asked. “Uh yeah 1st period actually. She is pretty great.” I said trying to play it cool. “Oh come on dude, you know she’s hot. Don’t deny it. You aren’t with Hayden anymore. You can talk about other chicks now.” Stiles said with his trademark grin plastered on his face. “Okay yeah she’s hot. Very hot. “ I finally admitted with a defeated smile. “Scott your little beta is blushing! Look how cute! Liam has a crush on Miss Y/L/N. That’s adorable.” Stiles yelled out while laughing. My blush faded into a scowl. Scott must have felt my chemo signals because he told Stiles to shut up. I wanted to punch him but I knew that would end badly. My anger is seriously my only weakness, well it was now its that along with her.

After finishing up with the pack I decided to head home. Walking on the side walk I couldn’t help but think about what just happened. What if Stiles tries flirting with her and she flirts back? After all he is 18. Ugh why do I torture myself? She has only been here a week and I am already a mess. The sound of a vehicle slowing down beside of me yanked me from my thoughts. I looked over and noticed it was Miss Y/L/N. “Hey Liam, its getting ready to pour the rain. Do you need a ride?” She yelled out through the passenger side window. She was smiling and looked absolutely perfect. I glanced up and noticed the sky was completely grey. “Uhm yeah sure thanks!” I replied while hopping in. I felt myself becoming nervous almost instantly. She was wearing a black dress with a red cardigan over it. Her cleavage was hidden enough to be suitable for school but my eyes were still glued to what I could see. Her hands gripped the steering while and I pictured them wrapped around my di…”So Liam how am I doing so far?” She spoke up. “Wha? What do you mean?” I replied. I barely registered what she had said. “How am I doing in class? This is my first year teaching. I don’t want to be so boring that I am torturing you guys.” Her voice was like a song and I could listen to it all day. Little did she know that just being in the same room was a form of torture to me. “Oh no you are great, really. I mean you are far from boring, the complete opposite actually. I love 1st period. It’s my favorite class now.” I said trying not to sound so desperate but I failed miserably. She blushed like crazy at my response. I made her blush. How was this possible? “Well thank you, I love hearing that. Especially coming from you. I always look forward to 1st period, I enjoy having you in class Liam. “ I couldn’t believe my ears, she was actually saying this. I knew my wolf ears were not deceiving me. Okay I have to calm down. She is just saying that in a teacher to student way, not is a flirtatious way. “Seriously? I mean cause I feel the exact same way, you make me want to come to class. ” I said while looking down to fidget with my hands. “I have to be completely honest with you Liam. I heard what you said on the first day. I’m not mad. You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m very flattered. “ She spoke so sweetly but she had a hint of something else in her voice. My werewolf senses started picking up on a very familiar chemo signal. No way, she is attracted to me….sexually. The scent was intoxicating as it poured off of her. “ I really meant it Miss Y/L/N. You are hot, beautiful, beyond sexy actually.” I spoke lowly, my voice sounded more rough now than before. She was making me crazy. A burst of adrenaline shot through me giving me more confidence. My hand instinctively went to her thigh where I rubbed soft circles onto her exposed skin. Her heart suddenly started to race. I could hear it pounding from her chest. “Liam you are going to get me into a lot of trouble if you don’t move your hand. This is a warning.” She said seductively. She didn’t really want me to stop but I did. “Sorry I couldn’t resist.” I let out a breathy laugh. I think I was holding my breath, I really didn’t want to overstep my boundaries. “Its okay, I’m not mad. Trust me. Okay now where do you live? I should get you home, its late.” She spoke now in her teacher tone sounding more professional. I told her which turns to take since she was new and wasn’t very familiar with Beacon Hills. We pulled into my drive way and I was sad that I had to get out of the car and leave her presence. “Okay so this is me, thanks again for the ride Miss Y/L/N. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Just as I went for the door handle she cupped my whole package into her hand. Her grip tightened and I couldn’t fight my now growing erection. “Here’s a little something to help you out later tonight.” She rubbed up and down my cock and moaned while she bit her lip. Then she took my hand, shoved it down the front of her dress and made me cup her bare breast. I almost came in my pants, she felt amazing. Her nipple was perfectly hard, I rolled it between my fingers. Gasping I lunged my hips upward to gain more friction. I had little self control. I wanted her so bad. “Fuck that felt so good Liam.” She called out. Hearing my name fall from her lips was heavenly. I gave her nipple a soft pinch, earning a louder moan this time. “Okay that’s enough. I have to stop. You are driving me insane.” She completely pulled away from me. The loss of her warmth made me mentally frown. “Bye Liam. “ She said as she fixed the top of her dress. I jumped out and gave her small wave as she pulled out of the drive way, she smiled back and winked. I watched her drive away, not caring that the rain was starting to come down harder. My erection was still making itself known and not going away anytime soon. I threw my bag over my crotch and walked into the house. “Hey buddy how was school?” My step dad yelled from the kitchen. “Uh it was fine. I don’t feel so good. I’m going to take a shower.” I replied. “Oh okay well dinner will be ready in about an hour if you feel like eating?” He asked. “Yeah its just a headache. I should be fine after a hot shower.”

I quickly jogged up the stairs and into my bathroom. I stripped my clothes off and threw them in the hamper. I turned the shower on and waited for it to heat up. Images of what just happened with Miss Y/L/N were racing through my head. I needed some sort of release. Right now. I hurried in and let the hot water run over me, my hand went straight for my length. Slowly I started moving up and down. I imagined that was her hand not mine as and that she was kneeling down in front of me. I grew harder by the second. All I could see was her face, biting that bottom lip and giving me the heart stopping eye contact that she was famous for. Pumping faster I so close but I needed a little more of a push, I pictured her taking my member into her mouth, swirling her tongue all around and sucking lightly on my tip. That was all it took, I came undone right then. Releasing what I had into my hand I moaned out her name, it sounded more like a growl. I finally caught my breath but still I was thinking about her. Getting myself off didn’t help at all. Fuck I’m screwed, I said aloud to myself. How was I going to get through the rest of the year now? All first period I am going to stay horny and distracted. The only solution was that I had to have her, no matter the risk. I was going to make it happen.

Bleach Characters as Tumblr Memes


As requested by anon. :)


I love meme lists. So here is the ultimate (?) meme list! Which actual memes are Bleach characters?


1. The “Surprise bitch” meme: Aizen

This is a meme about someone who you think is dead and gone, but then that person shows up in dramatic and snarky fashion. Or, in the case of Aizen, somebody you thought was in prison, who then just keeps showing up.

Aizen: Although it should not have been a surprise, since I planned this all along. From the day that I…

Ichigo: EVERYBODY GET DOWN - HE’S ABOUT TO MONOLOGUE!!

Aizen: …

Aizen: Rude.


2. The “Quit telling everyone I’m dead” meme: Grimmjow

This is similar to the last meme, only instead of the presumed dead person being cool and in charge, this presumed dead-person just shouts off-stage that he’s not actually dead. That sounds like Grimmjow to me.

Ichigo: And in the end, he fought alongside us. That is why it is so sad that we lost him.

Grimmjow: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD

Ichigo: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.


3. “Dat boi” meme: Orihime

Okay, full confession: I don’t understand the “dat boi” meme. It’s just a unicycling frog, right? And then people write “here comes dat boi” “oh shit whaddup.” I even looked it up. And that is the only explanation I got. Why does this frog ride a unicycle? Where is he going? I don’t get it at all. So anyway, then I was wondering - who in Bleach likes absurdist humor that other people don’t understand? And that would be Orihime, of course.

Tatsuki: So…the unicycling frog is fighting the giant robot?

Orihime: They’re on the same side!

Tatsuki: Of course. That makes way more sense.

Orihime: I know!


4. “Bode”: Yoruichi

This is another absurdist meme. You post pictures of cats with the word “bode” written over the cat. It apparently came to someone in a dream. This one is good for Yoruichi because (a) cats and (b) it messes with people.

Ichigo: WHY DOES SHE KEEP SENDING ME THESE PHOTOS??

Ichigo: I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Yoruichi: Bode.

Ichigo: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???


5. The “lost in a crowd” meme: Hitsugaya

This one is all about losing someone in a crowd and then shouting something significant to find them. Hitsugaya is short, and hence prone to lose people in crowds. Plus, he’s really good at shouting.

Hitsugaya: Hey! I’m an adult now sometimes!

Rukia: Wait…you’re an adult now?

Matsumoto: There she is!

Hitsugaya: THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW THIS MEME WORKS


6. The self-care meme: Kira

This is a meme where you define self-care as something impossible and/or ridiculous (self-care is tying balloons to your eyebrows and then going through a car wash). That feels Kira-like to me.

Kira: Self-care is drinking sake until you cry.

Hisagi: …

Hisagi: That’s less a hilarious meme and more a cry for help, dude.

Kira: That line is so hard to navigate.


7.The “you tried” gold star: Mask de Masculine

‘Cause he gave one to Rose, remember? With that star-shaped wound right through Rose’s torso? 

Rose: …that’s not funny.

Mask: I think it’s pretty funny.


8. The “15 minutes late with Starbucks” meme: Unohana

I’m not saying Squad 4 is often late with the healing…but Squad 4 is often late with the healing. And if anyone’s gonna stroll in fifteen minutes late with Starbucks, it’s Unohana. Nor will anyone say anything.

Unohana: I am here.

Shinji: That’s cool but most of us are already dead.

Unohana: Good thing I only brought one cup.


9. The “color of the sky” meme: Yhwach

The original “color of the sky” post was Aizen: sure the pictures are cool or whatever, but it’s too long. Way WAY WAY too long. Much like Aizen’s monologues. Then the meme came along, where you take the “color of the sky” post, truncate it, and had some sort of surprise at the end. And sure there’s relief that it doesn’t go on for so long, but it’s also not as cool as the original. Kinda reminds me of Yhwach, for some reason. *coughs*

Yhwach: Sometimes I just don’t feel appreciated.


10. The “shoving breadsticks in purse” meme: Riruka

You’re on a date. The date says something bad. You shove breadsticks in your purse as you leave the restaurant. So this meme goes. It sounded kinda like Riruka to me.

Riruka: So what’s more important - being cute or something else?

Date: Uh…something else?

Riruka: [shoving breadsticks angrily into her purse] I have to go


11. The “hoe don’t do it” meme: Ishida and Ichigo

For the first part of Bleach, it was always Ishida saying “Hoe don’t do it” and Ichigo doing it. Then at the end, it switched and Ishida was the one doing things while Ichigo said “Hoe don’t do it.” Symmetry. It’s what makes Bleach what it is.

Ichigo: And that’s why we’re basically the same person.

Ishida: Oh god no.


12. The “looks at smudged writing on hand” meme: Ichigo

Not because he doesn’t care. He’s just…really bad at names.

Ichigo: Wow! Great job helping defeat the Quincy, Inoue, Chad, and…

Ichigo: [looks at smudged writing on hand]

Ichigo: Ugly Itching?

Ishida: YOU KNOW WHAT MY NAME IS 


14. The  “snail” meme: Chad

Wherein you take various words and replace the first consonant with “sn” to create a snail version. Snurch = snail church, snall = snail mall, etc. I feel like Chad would be on board with this mostly because he respects snail culture, as he respects all animals.

Chad: And this is the “snouse” (snail house) I built for my new “snuddies” (snail buddies) with their “snard” (snail yard) and their “snailbox” (mailbox).

Ichigo: …

Chad: what?


15. “Bitch, where?” meme: Charlotte

This is a meme about someone calling you ugly, and you responding, “Bitch, where?” That sounds like Charolotte to me.

Charlotte: And that shinigami was all, “You ugly” and I was all, “Bitch, where?”

Yumichika: You’re ugly under the makeup too, though.

Charlotte: Bitch, where?

Yumichika: …I walked right into that one.


16. Kinkshaming meme: Kensei

I just feel like Kensei must spend a lot of time kinkshaming his fellow visored.

Shinji: I love being upside down!

Love: Personally I think nothing can top being a superhero.

Rose: Unless it’s a long, deep talk with your guitar.

Hiyori: Whatever. As if that’s as good as hitting people in the face with your shoes.

Mashiro: I prefer hitting them in the face with a super kick!

Lisa: Or ignoring them because you are too busy reading porn.

Kensei: …I’m gonna have to kinkshame you all.

New mailbox, 20 bucks. New car 10k.

My best friend and I are both sons of police officers. His dad was a Highway Patrolman and mine was a Deputy Sheriff and detective. They are both retired now and living comfortably. This story happened shortly after we both graduated high school about 15 years ago.

My buddy and I grew up in a rural area and for the most part was very quiet and we rarely had any problems. That changed when one weekend morning my friend’s family discovered their mailbox smashed and scattered along the road in front of their hose. They chocked it up to a hit and run, gathered up the mail, bought and posted a new mailbox and went on with life. The next weekend, it happened again.

Flash back a few months before my buddy’s dad retired. He decided he didn’t want to quit working so he went down to the local trade college and became certified as a welder. After the second time their mailbox was destroyed my buddy called me over to his house and we all went to work. Buddy and his dad did the welding and cutting, I did the grinding and his mom [who is a fantastic artist] did the painting. Throw in two bags of cement, seven feet of steel pipe, and the necessary re-bar and you can probably guess where this is going.

We built an all steel reinforced mail bunker, and set it in with three and a half feet of concrete and road base. Remember my friend’s mom whose a really good artist? She painted it so that it looked like it was made out of wood. The steel post looked incredibly realistic, even up close let alone at night driving a car 45 miles an hour. We posted the box had dinner and I went home.

A couple weeks went by and bingo. My friend called me around 7:00 am on a Sunday morning and told me to get over to his house ASAP. When I came around the turn to their house, there it was in full glory. A 92 Pontiac Grand Prix wrapped around a steel poll almost to the passenger compartment. The car was abandoned but all the necessary information needed for an arrest was there. It took a couple of days to track the owner down and sure enough he confessed. However there was also a half empty bottle of Canadian Host and beer cans all over the back seat, so he got an open container charge too. Add the cost of a tow truck and the medical bills for smashing his stupid face into a steering wheel and that criminal mischief charge added up real quick. I later found out my friend’s little brother stole the guy’s CD book too.

Realizing the mailbunker could get someone hurt we repainted it after fixing it to something more conspicuous.

update:

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anonymous asked:

Thank you for remastering old songs if your I haven't heard?? I love all of your music hecko I found the new song I'm going to be obsessively listening to for the next week. While still obsessively listening to fuck house.

budDY if u go to  my channel and go to my playlists i have 2 playlists of old songs that i deleted and the originals of those two are in there so

if ur curious

yeeyeye

Friend’s Cum

I have always had a very dirty mind! One night while I was at my buddy’s house and I noticed a condom he had thrown in the garbage on the bathroom. I am guessing it was from him and his gf. After licking the dried pussy juices off it I brought it home. That night when my wife was horny I made sure she laid on her stomach and buried her head under the pillow. I took the condom out and emptied the contents between her ass cheeks and watched it run down over her pussy. I slowly worked it into her pussy until she was begging for my cock. I fucked her with my best friends cum until I finished her off with mine. She never knew and still doesn’t to this day.

Friend's mom loses it on me for using her decorative soaps. I get revenge by stinking the place up a bit.

(warning: long story)

As a kid growing up, I had never encountered the concept of “decorative” soaps and towels. To me, soap was for cleaning up, towels were for drying hands. I had never encountered towels and soap that weren’t supposed to be used. The idea had never occurred to me.

When I was 9 I was over at a friend’s place hanging out. After using the washroom at my buddy’s house, I proceeded to wash my hands with delicate decorative seashell soap and then dry them with decorative towels.

I go back to the rec room to continue playing Monopoly with my friends. About half an hour later we hear a shriek coming from upstairs. We looked at each other in shock, then my buddy’s mom came rushing down the stairs, clutching several small decorative soaps in her hand, and screaming, “Who the hell used my soap?!?”

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10

“To have gone to the outskirts of Newfoundland and to live in a three-bedroom cottage house with my best buddy there with me training and just working out and breaking the material down, it was really refreshing. It was a really great thing for me to take on…on many levels, it was just a creative outlet. Just simplifying your life, you know. When your phone doesn’t work 90 percent of the day, you forget about those things and you’re way more engaging.”

Taylor Kitsch on shooting The Grand Seduction in Newfoundland, Canada.