not happy but not tweaking it anymore

Hey Black Sails fam, I wanted to share this WIP before I leave for Iceland next Monday, because I don’t think I’ll have time to finish this piece before that. It is still super rough, but maybe some of you are interested in seeing the various stages of my art process? I try not to look at any references when sketching out the basics, and I will tweak this a lot more later to get their likeness right.

My happy headcanon for what happens after 4x10 is that Thomas and James break out of the plantation after a while and go back to Silver and Madi (shut up about Treasure Island alright?) shortly afterwards and they talk for a very long time and are finally able to be honest about their feelings and Silver is sorry for what he’s done but Flint forgives him and then they KISS OKAY and nobody feels sad or betrayed or conflicted anymore and Madi and Thomas will become bffs (I should probably also include them in the final piece somehow) and they will all live happily ever fucking after gardening and reading and philosophising and practicing swords together.

Extinguish the Flame Spell

This spell is meant to help the caster release feelings of love which are not reciprocated by the other party. I’ve been dealing extensively with this recently, and couldn’t bear it anymore. I just cast this spell myself about 15 minutes ago. I’ll walk you through it as best I can considering I’m fairly drained at the moment. This spell includes feelings of both love and lust, so you can tweak it so it fits your situation.

Tools needed:

  • a candle representing the person/s the feelings are for (I chose pink for my love and red for my lust)
  • a knife or athame
  • rose quartz and citrine (or any stones/items which correspond to love and happiness for you)
  • thread to braid or knot

Steps:

  • Cast a protective circle (optional)
  • Hold the love stone in your left hand and happiness stone in your right. Stand grounded at the center of your circle and feel happiness flow in through your right hand, through your heart, and feel the happiness push out the unwanted feelings of romantic love. Do this for as long as necessary.
  • Carve the name/s into your corresponding candle/s
  • Take the ribbon or thread and begin knotting or braiding. With each twist, think of the person/s associated with your feelings. Tell yourself that this spell is for your health and well-being, and that it will have no ill effect on them. Think of the negative results of your romantic feelings, and why you are casting this spell. Watch the candles burn down, but do not wait until they burn out.
  • Recite the following spell:

“Powers that be, I ask of you,

take this heart that has been through

needless pain, caused by my mind,

blessed not by those who are divine.

Take these names whose owners dwell

within this witch’s mental hell.

Release my hold - my heart from theirs

so I may live without these tears.

These candles which hold names embedded

along with braids with intent threaded -

douse the flame and cut the ties

to give rest to these tired eyes.

This spell shall last until the hour

in which I gain the hard-earned power

to love and be loved with heart enrobed

with dedication to be betrothed.

This witch’s heart no longer beats

for those whose hearts do not repeat.

I extinguish these flames and sever this bond

to those whose souls do not respond.

So mote it be.”

  • Extinguish the candles and sever the braid or knotted cord with your knife/athame
  • Close your circle

The goal here is not to rid your heart of all romantic love, or make it to where you can never love again, but I know how hard it is to live with feelings of unrequited love. As a warning, this process is emotionally trying. I cried. A lot.

Just as a final note - you are worthy of love. Just because the person you have feelings for does not reciprocate does not mean no one ever will. You are worthy of love, you deserve love, and you will find love.

Good luck, fellow witches! I wish you endless happiness!

poldarkmmmuses musings: The Four Swans – one year and a WHOLE lotta Poldark after

THIS POST IS RIDDLED WITH POLDARK SPOILERS FOR THE FOUR SWANS. AND THERE IS SWEARING. CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED.

I’d only been active in the fandom for a few months when I read tFS for the first time. And I admit, I was quite vocal about the things that happened in it. Since I’ve become more involved in the fandom, have watched series one of the 2015 countless times, analyzed both S1 and S2 to pieces, and led interweb bookclubs on both The Black Tide and The Four Swans for the Poldark Podcast, I can say some of my thoughts around Graham’s sixth book have mellowed. This is not to say I’m all warm and fuzzy about Hugh Armitage all of a sudden. I’m just no longer demanding his head be served to me on a platter.

I have a trigger when it comes to adultery. I’ve mentioned it in a few locations as well as the podcast. This goes back all the way to when I was a kid (back in the Stone Age). Without getting into too many details, my dad had affairs. The last one broke up my folk’s marriage. At the time, I was all about being on Team Mom. It wasn’t until after she’d passed and I’d learned some of the KRAYKRAY shit happening in their relationship at the time of that last affair that I began to understand why my father made the choices he did. This perspective has doubled as I approach the twenty year mark on a less-than-ideal marital situation. 

So, what do I get with all of this life-wisdom heaped onto my head?

There are no such things as Soulmates™. I say this specifically to address some of the anonymous asks that have come into the @poldarkpodcast inbox. Here’s a sample (tweaked spelling and punctuation a bit): 

…not enjoying the four swans don’t like how Graham comes up with plot devises to constantly split up Ross and Demelza. he gave them a break in Black Moon, wonder if that’s why we talk about it so much because of heartache. I think in Black Moon Ross loves Demelza more then ever but as you said, there is now a chink in Demelza’s armor, she loves Ross still but it’s not the same as before the betrayal, she changed, lost faith, not on pedestal anymore, because if she was as happy as she seemed in Black Moon she wouldn’t want to have known Hugh, just friends who enjoy company etc, if you in love with husband you don’t sleep with a man who you hardly know, just to make him happy, its as bad as Ross sleeping with Margaret because she fed up, this was wrong of Graham to do this with Demelza because it alters how her character has been so far in the books, i know she has flaws, reckless with Julia, Verity etc but not unfaithful to Ross, hate the four swans. I agree with all what you said, she didn’t need to have sex with him on the beach, she could of said no, spoils it for me, hate betrayal, makes a mock of their marriage and i thought they were soul mates in literature, don’t think so. What do you you think Michelle

Folks are undeniably upset about Demelza’s adultery and have said they were supposed to be Soulmates™ (the trademark is my addition to the term that is posted). Other than the dictionary definition of the word, I simply cannot believe there is only one person on a planet of seven billion that I’m meant to be in a perfect, shiny, awesome state of being for the rest of my life . If that’s the case and I’m current with that person, then whoever is responsible for the soulmate matching job in my current situation is about to get a size-ten Doc Marten upside the head because why? EPIC FAIL. 

It’s a lovely, romantic notion, to be sure, to be with a single person in one’s life and never encounter moments of suck, the whole “happily ever after” idea. And yes, there are many couples out there who have been able to sustain a loving, committed relationship with the same person who used to snap their bra straps in junior high school or whatever. What I’ve discovered is what lies beneath those “soulmate-type” couples most if not all of the time is unwelcome compromise, societal pressures to stay together, despite what would be better for all concerned, and/or a SHIT-ton of hard, heartbreaking and heart-mending work that chips away on the very foundations of their partnership. This can include infidelity (emotional or physical), lack of communication, grief and loss, changes in dynamic (e.g. the traditional bread winner loses their job, so the other partner becomes the breadwinner and all of the mindfucking that goes into that. Don’t ask me how I know this). Which brings me to my next point…

Marriage is hard frakking work. There’s a reason why I haven’t bounced out of this less than ideal relationship. Or, I should say, YET. It’s far too easy to bail on a situation where the person you married has left the toilet seat up or has left the cap off the toothpaste one too many times. Living one’s life with another person, a person who is doing the same amount of growing and changing as you are, requires strong communication, opportunities to be independent in one’s hobbies or activities, and a whole bunch of other stuff. The first one, communication, is the thing that glues everything together. If you’re not willing to do the work, accept those moments when you’ve been the horse’s ass and need to apologize or say “I don’t think I love you anymore”, then stick with dating and booty calls.

So why blather about this stuff on a Poldark blog? Because the Poldark series is NOT a fairy tale, like Beauty and the Beast or The Little Mermaid. It is all about a marriage, through its turmoil and betrayal; its healing and forgiveness, that spans thirty-plus years. We encounter two of the greatest injuries to the Poldark marriage in Warleggan and The Four Swans. By the end of the latter, BOTH Ross and Demelza, our power couple, the Soulmates™, the hero and heroine of the series, have committed adultery, but emotional AND physical adultery and are at a very precarious place in their relationship. And as much as I want to rage and howl at both of them – and I do, every single time I re-read these books, I do – the emotion I am left with is a bone deep disappointment, the same disappointment I had when I was a kid and discovered my father’s failings, and when I was an adult, and discovered my mother’s failings. Feet of clay.

Now, neither of them were hapless victims or perpetrators of their decision making. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. I’ve got ZERO love for either Elizabeth or Hugh, see both of them as being selfish, manipulative individuals (I’ve at least backed away from the predator label I’d slapped on Armitage my first read-through of tFS…see? An old dog can learn new tricks) and have much to do with how things shake out. Communication across the board for these four was ridiculously flawed and craptastic. Ultimately, it was the folks who’d made the promises that day in June 1787 that are responsible for ignoring the “You Shall Not Pass” line.

Why does Demelza’s adultery affect me more than Ross’s? Believe me, I’ve asked myself this question more times than I care to think about. Maybe it’s because she’d been the injured party first? Because she is so intuitive and has such well-honed Spidey senses and they’d been screeching in her ear from the moment she met Hugh? Because despite her saying she was content with Ross, in love with him and only wanted to be his wife, it feels like she was saying all of those things with her fingers crossed behind her back? Sadly, she doesn’t accept the truth of the situation until after she’s given herself to Hugh. Even after she acknowledges Jud’s tale telling and Ross’s secret meetings (which she assumes are ongoing rather than the single incident) as something that’s niggled at the back of her mind and, in the moment of decision, “eroded her will”, she acknowledges that it only had the power to do so because her impulses towards the act were strong enough that they would have leapt upon any excuse to justify the act. Even Hugh’s romance and fawning and charm and crap weren’t enough to sweep her away. Further, it isn’t until she thinks of the damage the knowledge of her infidelity would have upon her relationship with Ross should he ever find out that she begins to feel bad about what she’s done. She then reconsiders the possibility that Hugh’s romantic overtures had more of an impact on her than she’d thought earlier (of course they did, otherwise you wouldn’t have kept all of those damn poems, Demelza). She is sorry for committing adultery, not because she is any less in love with Ross, nor because she’s remorseful about having the experience of making love with another man (because she’s not)…it is because it has eradicated trust and loyalty, just as Ross’s visit to Elizabeth in Warleggan did. And even then… it’s not until Hugh is dead that she finally, FINALLY seems to come to terms with her actions and motives behind them: a) she was instantly attracted to him; and b) she’d fallen in love with him – long before she learned of Ross’s meeting with Elizabeth – and followed her heart’s desire.

If SHE casts aside her knowledge of Ross and Elizabeth’s meeting(s) and Ross’s fall from grace as an excuse for her behavior, who are we to continue to point at them as being the thing that would have kept her from doing what she did? Hugh’s not the only one who has had Demelza on a pedestal. We have as well. And her fall from that lofty position hurts so incredibly much.


tl;dr If I could say one thing it would be this: Ross? Leave that sonofabitch at Quimper. He ain’t nothing but trouble.

Want to read the passage where Demelza ponders all of this? It’s behind the cut. Happy to talk about this – I know I’ll enjoy the conversation. Well… enjoy might not be the right word for it, but you know what I mean. :-)

Keep reading

begin again update (again)

so i took begin again down to rewrite it and sort of…

changed the entire thing

like it’s a similar premise (childhood friends to lovers break up and reconnect years later) but the story i was telling at first isn’t happening anymore which i am very sorry about but i just wasn’t happy with the way it was :/

basically this update is for anyone who was reading begin again and waiting for me to repost it because i don’t want you to be expecting the original story tweaked a bit but i’m very excited about this new idea and can’t wait to share it!!

anonymous asked:

Hi Flora!!! I'm happy to see that there's someone out there who is so supportive about OCs!! I was just wondering since ur asking others about their Persona OCs, but do u any Persona OCs yourself??? :)

I…kind of do!? She was designed before the game came out though so there are things that I had determined before that wouldn’t fit anymore. It’d be easy enough to tweak things, but she and her Persona are more of just eyecandy for me at the moment who like to get pretty art of!

I HAVE AN ART PROBLEM

WIP sketch of Vivian…this is an expression of hers I’ve wanted to draw properly for quiet some time now, her warm glower. Vivian’s eyes can’t sparkle anymore as the brightness has long since been sucked out of her eyes. But sometimes she can give this warm glower but only to those she loves most. Still may tweak some things but I think this is one of my best drawings of her so far…or at least I’d like to hope it will be by the time I’m finished. 

Happy Birthday, Tweek
badgraph1csghost
Happy Birthday, Tweek

Originally written as a situation where Tweek wouldn’t have to say “oh god, oh Jesus” (well, I halfway managed it anyway)

SCENE: Craig and Tweek are in one of their bedrooms. Music is playing on a nearby iPhone dock.

CRAIG: Happy birthday, man.

TWEEK: Thanks.

CRAIG: Here, I got you something. (he hands the object over)

TWEEK: Oh, cool. (tears the paper off; disappointed) Oh… it’s coffee.

CRAIG: Not exactly. It’s instant coffee.

TWEEK: I thought you knew me better than this, Craig. Just because I always drink coffee doesn’t mean I love the stuff–I just can’t live without it! It’s an addiction!

CRAIG: I know. I also know how helpless you get when you don’t have it.

TWEEK: “Helpless”, right. More like twitchy, nauseous, jumpy, irritable…

CRAIG: Exactly, but this isn’t coffee. It tastes like coffee, it’s hot like coffee, it’s caffeinated like coffee, but it isn’t really coffee. See, my grandpa was addicted to caffeine too, and he said that instant was like a nicotine patch. Whenever he wanted coffee, he’d make instant instead, but he’d make it really strong so it’d be really bitter. He said he was totally done with coffee before he finished his first jar.

TWEEK: I-I don’t know about this. I mean, my dad’s coffee is already pretty strong. It’s at the point where I need it strong or I don’t believe it’s coffee.

CRAIG: (thinks for a second) Okay, you depend on your dad to make your coffee, right?

TWEEK: Yeah.

CRAIG: So, if he isn’t around and you run out, what happens?

TWEEK: Oh, god! I don’t even want to GO there, man! My body starts feeling like a cage and the walls start closing in and I start to–

CRAIG: Okay! Instant coffee is real simple to make!

TWEEK: What?! No, man, my dad says that coffee is a precise process where everything has to be just right or else–

CRAIG: Tweek, Tweek, look. It’s like I said– this isn’t coffee.

TWEEK: Right… so, it’s simple?

CRAIG: So simple! You just put a spoonful into a cup and run hot tap-water over it. (Tweek makes uncertain breathing sounds) You don’t have to rely on your dad for coffee anymore, you can make it yourself. You can control how strong or weak it is. You can beat coffee, man!

TWEEK: (sniffles, relieved) Thanks, Craig… that was really considerate.

CRAIG: (pause) Besides, I’ve tasted your dad’s coffee. (chuckles) It’s pretty bad.

TWEEK: (as the scene fades out) Oh god, it’s terrible! I don’t know why I put up with the stuff! Ugh!

Written, performed, and produced by me, badgraph1csghost, based on characters from South Park, by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Happy New Year’s!~

Hey guys.~ So we just wanted to say a quick thank you to all 519 of our amazing followers. Since we started up our blog you’ve made both of us smile a shit-ton and inspired us to make our content better than ever. So thank you!

In the new year we hope to:

  1. Start up a YouTube channel
  2. Get a creek fanfic/rp started and published on this page
  3. Find ways to make higher quality gifs

We’re sorry we never got around to answering some of the Christmas questions that were sent in, but now that it’s New Year’s we figured they weren’t really all that relevant anymore. We did get them all though and wish we could’ve gotten them out!

Anyway…

We look forward to answering more questions and starting all sorts of new projects in the months to come. Again, happy new year!~ Hope you’re all having an awesome one. ;)

(CONTINUED)

TWEEK: What- what does this mean?
CRAIG: It means even though I’m with Thomas… I… can’t stop thinking about you.
TWEEK: !!!


CRAIG: But I can’t be with you.
TWEEK: Gah! What?!
CRAIG: You know, when I asked you the other day, I would’ve… I would’ve dropped everything, if you’d say yes.
CRAIG: I wanted you to be honest with me, I needed it.
TWEEK: Craig-
CRAIG: And I know it’s not your fault, I mean I wasn’t honest either, right?
CRAIG: But I can’t be with your anymore. It’s too late, I can’t just turn back, okay?


CRAIG: I’m with Thomas now and I… I love him.
CRAIG: I’ve liked you since I was twelve, Tweek. It’s been eight years! You and I- we just fuck up all the time.
CRAIG: And now I’m finally happy with someone. I don’t want to ruin this.
TWEEK: B-But- we both love each other!
TWEEK: Craig, please. Can’t you think about this?


CRAIG: I have, Tweek. I can’t be with you anymore. It’s over.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

natssoldier  asked:

Drabble Prompt: Klaus likes to collect rare things. When he comes across Caroline, who is a shapeshifter (you can choose what animal), he is intrigued by her and wishes to add her to his 'collection'. Unfortunately for him, Caroline isn't too keen on this idea. --- you can make this dark, romantic or otherwise :)

Alright, so I know it’s not your birthday anymore, but this got super long, so I think that makes up for it being late ;)  So Happy Birthday Brynne!

I picked an animal that I think represents Caroline pretty well if you look at the symbolism associated with it. I also tweaked it a bit so it could end up being romantic and not creepy lol

Hope you like it!

*

The Collector

*

Klaus walked through the darkened woods, the low light barely fazing him as his hybrid senses compensated for the lack of light. He was on a mission, searching for something, or perhaps someone.

Being the only one of his kind gave Klaus a certain appreciation for other similarly rare creatures. He had taken to seeking them out over the centuries, hunting them down for his collection. Most were little more than exotic animals, basilisks, griffins, abaias, and so on. He would capture them and keep them in what his family liked to refer to as the Supernatural Zoo. In fact, Klaus was quite certain some of the creatures he kept were the only ones of their kind left in the world.

Less frequently he would seek out humanoid creatures. They were usually harder to come by and when he did find them they were less than thrilled with the idea of leaving their lives to be his latest prize, often becoming more trouble than they were worth. So Klaus refrained from seeking out these types of beings unless he needed them, or a part of them, for a spell or for information only they possessed. Still, if he learned of a particularly rare specimen, he would occasionally take the time to seek them out, his wolf side reveling in the thrill of the hunt.

Which is what brought him to the thick forests of northern Virginia. He had heard about sightings of a deer-like creature roaming the woods at night, campers reporting strange glimpses of something between the trees. No one report said the same thing, which intrigued Klaus even more. Some claimed to have seen a human-like figure roaming around while others claimed it was pure animal, though unlike any normal deer they’d ever seen before. He was determined to figure out what it was.

He searched for an out of place scent, roaming the area where the reports generally came from. It was nearly midnight and he had been there since dusk, prowling the woods in hopes of catching whatever it was. Klaus was not usually one to give up, but this was beginning to try his patience. How difficult could it be to find a deer in the woods?

Growling lowly in frustration he removed his jacket, tossing it to the forest floor in annoyance before pulling off his shirt. If he couldn’t locate the creature in his human form, he would just have to shift and use his heightened werewolf senses.

The rest of his clothing soon joined the pile on the forest floor and Klaus knelt on the ground, preparing himself for the change. As the excruciating pain washed over him he wondered if finding a new addition to his collection was really worth all this trouble. It’s not like he had even confirmed what this creature was. For all he knew it could just be a run of the mill deer mistaken by drunken campers. Still, he hadn’t found a new species in so long, the idea of discovering one excited him.

The hybrid quickly pushed through the pain, his bones shifting and reforming until he was once again a wolf. He shook himself, black fur falling into place as he rose, enjoying the invigorating feeling that always came over him when he changed. The pain had lessened some over the 500 years he had spent shifting and he had learned to speed up the process, but the sense of freedom he felt as a wolf had never dimmed.

Klaus looked around, noting the area so he could return for his clothes later before he took off through the woods, searching for any unusual scent. It took him only twenty minutes this time before he stumbled upon what he was looking for.

The scent was like a deer, but also not. It had a heavy human undertone to it, but it was different than that of an animal that spent a lot of time around people. It was almost as if the two scents were connected, as if they belonged together.

The hybrid gave a snort when he realized what he was smelling.

A shapeshifter.

Keep reading

ionsyll  asked:

I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but will there be anymore Facing Worlds type PvP maps anytime soon?

Yeah! battleships is another example of a modpack pvp map, I was tweaking the systems yesterday and I think I’m almost at a place I’m happy with for playtesting!

It shouldn’t take as long to come around as Facing Worlds though!