not good at serious things

anonymous asked:

How can I become a bird?

Option 1: Several million years of highly selective breeding

Pros: Low demand, high return.

Cons: …Eventually. 

Conclusion: Very worth it, for your (great)800  grandchild. The real deal. Possibility of ending up with mammalian scansoriopterygids along the way. 10/10 would recommend. 

Option 2: Several thousand dollars worth of gear and training

Pros: Immediate returns. 

Cons: Possibility of death. Even worse, people take you for some kind of winged mammal instead. Horrible

Conclusion: Totally worth being poor as heck and dead. Won’t survive long enough to further your species, so who cares what your offspring might think. 10/10 would definitely.

Option 3: 

Pros: Well

Cons: Yikes

Conclusion: Maybe………………………………. don’t.

Honestly my favorite thing about skam is how realistic it is. When Eva and Ingrid made up they didn’t automatically become best friends again. They aren’t actually friends at all anymore because they hurt each other so much, but they’re kind to each other. Noora and William don’t actually work out and the intense love affair they had was probably just a teenage romance that seems like it’s the one. Isak and Even go super fast and they’re both struggling with things so the timing is bad for both of them and it doesn’t work out right away. It feels like I’m watching a piece of real people’s lives and it’s so good

9 Practical Tips for New Witches

1.  Write down a list of your current passions, interests, goals, and beliefs.  Knowing this information can help you to develop your witchcraft and to make it more personal.  It’s important to feel a deep connection to your own style of craft, so it is incredibly helpful to incorporate the things that you love in life. While it’s a good idea to think of and list serious things, it’s 100% okay if your list mostly contains entries like ‘shiny things, stuff that smells good, My Chemical Romance’; you should definitely add entries like that, because that right there still tells you that you’ll probably enjoy using reflective objects, aromatherapy, and music in your witchcraft.  The entries on your list can help you to creatively think of ways to make your magick yours, while still helping you to identify any pre-existing styles and paths of witchcraft that incorporate elements of your list.

2.  Keep a regular journal, along with any magick journals that you might have.  Keep track of your health, your dreams, your moods, your habits, your life in general. When you are first starting out, it can be difficult to automatically see how magick affects you.  By keeping a mundane, regular journal, you’re better able to reference past events against your magick journals, to see if any changes or unusual entries (negative or positive) occurred at the same time as something witchcraft-related.

3.  Sign up for as many guided nature walks and talks as you can.  It’s always a good idea to know the nature around you, especially if you’re a witch. Guided walks and talks can give you first-hand experience when it comes to identifying plants, animals, and other things that you can find in your area. If it is allowed, remember to bring along a camera and / or a notebook so that you can record and reference your new knowledge afterwards.

4.  Take an interest in cooking.  This is an especially good tip for any witches that are looking to hide their witchcraft.  Learning to cook is a life skill, and doesn’t tend to draw unwanted attention.  The food, herbs, and spices that you use all have their own magickal correspondences and associations, so it really comes down to figuring out some ingredients that match your magick’s intent, and then finding an actual recipe that calls for those ingredients.  

5.  Start your own garden, no matter how small. Seeds can be affordable purchased at most stores with gardening centers, and you can grow some herbs in a leftover tin can.  Really, you don’t need a lot of space or cash to be able to start some sort of garden, whether indoors or outdoors.  Just make sure that wherever you are planting, you have permission to plant there!

6.  Develop your DIY skills.  Crafting, sewing, upcycling – spend some time learning about the ‘Do It Yourself’ culture.  Aside from being an excellent way to learn how to create your own tools and witchy stuff, a lot of the skills that you will learn can be incorporated into your spells.  So can any supplies that you have on hand for regular arts and crafts, for that matter. And when you get right down to it, nobody has to know that your handmade lavender lip-balm is actually an enchanted item and a dual healing / beauty spell.  Making anything by hand helps to give it power, and can be another great way to practice witchcraft under-the-radar; unless you literally announce that your felt-and-an-old-sock plushie is actually a poppet, how can anybody know?

7.  Find places to source your witchy ingredients and supplies. Look up and scout out any local:

o   Book stores

o   Box stores (like Walmart, Target)

o   Craft stores

o   Dollar stores

o   Farm stands

o   Farmer’s markets

o   Flea markets

o   Garden stores / Nurseries

o   Libraries

o   Hiking trails

o   Metaphysical / New Age stores

o   Rockhounding locations

o   Tea / herb stores

o   Thrift stores

o   Rock / crystal / mineral shops

8.  Build a non-fiction library.  Cookbooks, how-to books, field guides, books that teach you skills. History books, scientific magazines and journals, textbooks on any topic.  Read about first-hand accounts, theories and practices, facts and trivia. Read educational books meant for kids, and encyclopedias meant for months of study.  Don’t be afraid to check your material against a different source, either.  Finding multiple sources citing a piece of knowledge is a good habit to develop, especially if your knowledge deals with the safety or danger of anything.  Whether it was posted online or published in a book, make sure that the author’s information is accurate!

9.  Collect and upcycle bottles, jars, tins, and other storage.  It’s a running joke here on Tumbler: ‘witches love jars’. But wow is it an accurate joke.  There have been a couple of times that I’ve come home with new loose supplies like shells or acorns, only to stand there and realize that literally all of my other storage is taken and that unless I want to stick them in a plastic bag, I have to temporarily store them by taking the last few Piroutte cookies out of the tin and giving it a quick cleaning (and now you know the exact moment that I thought of posting about this tip! lol).  Practicing witchcraft can be a really quick way to turn into a self-powered miniature recycling plant; it’s a lot cheaper to clean that jelly jar than it is to go buy an actual Mason jar, and it’s usually better for the environment as well ^_^


Crushes can get frustrating, sometimes


Links to Other Versions: Oso (feat. Mom and Choro) | Kara (feat. Mom and Todo) | Ichi (feat. Mom and Kara) | Jyushi (feat. Mom and Oso) | Todo (feat. Mom and Ichi)

Programmer Choromatsu (feat. Matsuyo and Jyushimatsu)

Mother Matsuyo’s Stupid Parental Observations of Choromatsu:

“He has a serious side to him, so he’s good at making sure things get done. Maybe a job that seeks both accuracy and good judgment would suit him. He’s easily influenced by his surroundings, so if he’s at a work place with a lot of determined people, he’d also be lured in and would do his job very frantically. But it looks like all he can do is figure out a few notebook PCs at the cafe, so he’s not satisfied.” 

Younger Brother Jyushimatsu’s Criticism of Choromatsu:

“He’s one to talk~ He’s fussy~ I wonder if he’s unable to become a bit more levelheaded? Don’t you think he cares too much about how society views him? He gets really conscious about things he’s unable to do, and I think it’s better if he stops doing that. It’s all a lie anyway! It’s undeniable that he’s excusing the things he can’t do as things he doesn’t want to do~ Todomatsu even says, ‘It’s all stuff coming from his mouth and not anywhere else’!”

Character Aesthetics: Bakura Ryou

I don’t want to lose any more friends! Even if it means my soul should shatter!

# 57

Sing to me - loudly, if you want.
(I’m a yeller, so I understand.)
I’d rather love or loathe
than be left wondering
by some cryptic note
that’s better left unread.

skype trans support group!

hello!! my name’s jack, and my friend @dorklordprince (jason) and i want to form a sort of skype support group for other trans kids! 

i’m putting everything under a “read more” so it doesn’t become a super long post, but if you’re interested then please keep reading!! 

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Can We Keep Him? (Newt x Reader)


Prompt: newt spends the day assisting his no-maj veterinarian girlfriend in the office and she shows him how to care for all these non magic animals and by the end of the day Newt wants a dog and a cat and one of everything that came through the office

okay but newt and puppies

Originally posted by simplyelda

     Things were quite busy at your workplace which honestly, is the opposite of a bad thing. You’re a veterinarian. It was the thing you wanted to do ever since you knew that choosing a career was a thing. Thank goodness, there weren’t any serious patients so far, mostly people dropping off their pets while they go do something. Also, the bunch of puppies that get dropped off annually even though it is encouraged for the owners to ya know, personally find owners. But you didn’t complain, more puppies for you. As you were filing papers and giving the puppies smothering your feet some attention, you heard to door bell chime that signaled some one walked in.

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Ballon d'Or? “For me it’s still Leo, he’s the best.

Messi is important for football, for Barca and for Argentina. Argentina have a great team and will get back to winning ways, I’m sure. What’s going on with Leo in his country [suffering criticism] also happened with me. Messi wasn’t even playing in the games and he was criticised, it’s something I don’t understand. People who understand football don’t know how to explain it. Leo’s important for us

—  Neymar on Lionel Messi during a press event for Panasonic | 13.10.16

“It’s over. For real this time”.

The Usual

This is a birthday gift for @furaitsu !! It’s nothing big, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while…and if anyone deserves adorable egg n’ toaster fluff, rosso does X3

    “Can I have my usual? To go.”

    He’d come in every Saturday or Sunday, order a bowl of whichever noodles were cheapest (“Extra napkins and spoons, please?”), and leave. His clothes were worn out but clean, and he was bald—really, totally, 100% bald. Everyone figured he had some medical condition and let him alone. It’s not like he needed help there, though.

    He always came by himself…and since he didn’t talk much, no one could figure him out.

    The shop didn’t get a lot of customers—being in the most dangerous city in the world meant that it was dead most of the time—and it ran on regulars, ones that you got to know after weeks and months of chatting to them. Not this one though. In the three years he’d been visiting, all we could tell was that he might’ve been in college because of his age. It didn’t make sense, though—college kids were anxious messes, and he wasn’t. He just…was. He came, he got his food, and he left.

    We were all surprised the first time he asked for a second bowl.

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Whass happenin’ y’all?  My Name is Kody Patten, I am 22 years old.  I am 6′6″, 181 lbs, with red hair and hazel eyes.  I am currently incarcerated at Ely State Prison, sure we all make mistakes—some worse than others.  My personality can be described as genuine, loyal, respectful, hard working, caring, outgoing, and drama FREE!  I love to joke and have a good time, things don’t always have to be so serious.  When times get rough I try to be my family and friends “go to” person for a laugh or even a shoulder to cry on.  Some of my hobbies consist of drawing, tattooing, writing, working, working out (gotta stay fit), and always trying to better myself & educate myself.  I currently have a half sleeve on my left forearm, all of which I did, as well as 6 other various tattoos.  I am BIG into family & friends, I put my all into my friendships & life itself, even though I am a bit restrained at the moment.  Staying strong and upbeat is a key aspect in keeping my head straight and moving forward.  My parents are rockstars for me, they never left my side and continue to be my anchor to life.  My brother continues to be a pain in my ass and I couldn’t ask for a better family.  As you can tell by my photo, my mom is my heart & soul.  I’m hoping to find some new & interesting people to get to know and hopefully find some common interests.  I’ll reply to all first letters.  As always thank you for your time and interest in my intro.
If you send pictures, be sure to write my full name and DOC# on the back (#1091721) or I won’t be able to get them!
Respect & Loyalty,
Kody Cree Patten

Kody Patten #1091721
Ely State Prison
PO BOX 1989
Ely, NV 89301