not gonna lie this was awful

You ever think about the fact that Mantis was the one that came up with the plan of fooling Snake by having most of them die at Snake’s hands? Do you think there was any argument about this?

Liquid: Slow your goth roll, okay? You’re not dying today if I can help it.

Mantis: Aw, come on. Can you imagine what a cool ghost I’d be? I’d get to be a psychic ghost!

Liquid: You can’t be a psychic AND a ghost, that’s too many things to be.

Ocelot: My dad’s a psychic ghost.

Liquid: If you don’t lie every twenty minutes do you stop breathing or something?

Raven: To be honest, I’ve worked out a deal with the ravens where they’re gonna eat my body all dramatic if I die today, and now I feel like it’d be a waste if no one saw that.

Liquid: Great, another goth. Are you ALL low-key suicidal?

Wolf: I wouldn’t even say “low-key“, really.

Liquid: I’d tell you to pop another Valium, but that would probably put you in a coma.

Wolf: *whispering* God, that sounds nice.

Liquid: WHAT’S WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU? Why can’t you just manufacture a burning will to live out of spite, like I do?

Mantis: Listen buddy, this is Alaska and I have the body fat ratio of a number 2 pencil. At this point I am fully prepared to go to hell just to WARM UP.

Today I learned that a "Pinkie Promise" is not nearly as cute as I thought

Like, I always thought it was one of those sweet expressions like “Pretty Please with a Cherry On Top,” y'know?

Aw, a “Pinkie Promise,” how adorable.

Or… not.

Apparently it’s origins are more like, “You better keep this #*%$@ promise, or we’re gonna break your pinkie!!”

And ever since learning that I’m just… is EVERY innocent thing from my childhood a lie?!

Since real life is hella stressful I need to balance things out and what better way would there be than 1x1s?
So here we go with my Wishlist!


  • Rachel x Santana
  • Rachel x Quinn
  • Rachel x Brittany
  • Rachel x Dani
  • Rachel x Marley
  • Rachel x Kitty
  • Rachel x Puck
  • Rachel x Jesse
  • Rachel x Sam
  • Rachel x Mike
  • Rachel x Sebastian
  • Rachel x Hunter
  • Rachel x Blaine
  • Rachel x Ryder
  • Rachel x Jake
  • Rachel x Quinn x Santana
  • Rachel x Santana x Brittany
  • Rachel x Santana x Brittany x Quinn
  • Rachel x Santana x Dani
  • Rachel x Sam x Blaine
  • Rachel x Finn x Puck
  • Rachel x Sam x Tina
  • Rachel x Kitty x Marley
  • Rachel x Sebastian x Blaine
  • Quinn x Sam
  • Quinn x Finn
  • Quinn x Jesse
  • Quinn x Finn x Puck
  • Quinn x Sam x Santana
  • Marley x Jake
  • Marley x Ryder
  • Marley x Kitty
  • Marley x Kitty x Ryder x Jake
  • Marley x Sam x Kitty
  • Twincest 
  • Genderswap

FCs dying to use or play against ( I would play all of those just saying)

  • Ashley Benson x Shay Mitchell
  • Ashley Benson x Lea Michele
  • Ashley Benson x Lily Collins
  • Shay Mitchell x Lucy Hale
  • Shay Mitchell x Claire Holt
  • Shay Mitchell x Dianna Agron
  • Troian Bellisario x Lucy Hale
  • Lucy Hale x Colton Haynes
  • Lucy Hale x Nina Dobrev
  • Nina Dobrev x Claire Holt
  • Claire Holt x Candice Accola/King
  • Claire Holt x Matt Roerig
  • Claire Holt x Nate Buzolic
  • Claire Holt x Joseph Morgan
  • Lily Collins x Sam Claflin
  • Lily Collins x Grant Gustin
  • Lily Collins x Arden Cho
  • Holland Roden x Shelley Henig
  • Blake Lively x Leighton Meester
  • Britt Robertson x Holland Roden

I wanted to take a moment to give Of Oak and Ash and Grasping Thorn another bump today, since so far it’s the only fic I’ve posted on AO3 without any comments at all, and I’m not gonna lie, I feel awful about that. So. What’s it got to recommend it? It’s a Cassandra story, it’s got creepy dreams and creepier flashbacks, it’s got the Briarwoods and their friends at the height of their powers, it’s got a terrible mockery of a family dinner and a whole lot of dangerously tangled feelings about Cassandra’s family, past and present…so there’s good stuff there, I dearly hope. Give it a look, would’d’ja, and if you liked it, could you drop a word or two to let me know?


I just wanted to share something very special with you all.
A wonderful friend I made here on Tumblr, @kagebullshitnojutsu, knows my love for her homeplace - which is London. I have never been able to visit myself but it has been on my bucket list for about 15 years. Out of the kindness of her heart, she sent me a care package full of British snacks and a beautifully written letter that included a drawing of Shikamaru on the back. I am in awe at such a genuinely thoughtful gesture.

Thank you from the bottom of my wee little heart for taking the time (and money!!) to send me this package. My heart feels so warm and tingly! Not gonna lie, I shed a tiny little tear while opening it and reading your letter. ~~ Just because of how kind this gesture was. You are a wonderful friend and I do hope as well that we continue to bond over our mutual fondness for Shikamaru.

Tumblr is a beautiful place and we are so lucky to be in it - and to be surrounded by such wonderful people. I have made some incredible friends within this fandom. You all know who you are! I not only feel blessed today but I feel blessed everyday for knowing all of you.

Thank you again, Emma. I cannot wait to eat every single thing in this package!! xx Muah!!!


“It is possibly five in the morning right now.”
“You don’t even understand my cookie game, bro.”
“That wet your tasty whistle, dude?”
“Yes. No. Possibly.”
“At age six, I was born without a face.”
“My dad told me that I would be accepted as a true man, little did he know that wasn’t the case.”
“He didn’t lie, he just didn’t know.”
“I activated my trap-hole card.”
“You know what Yu-Gi-Oh! means in German? It just means Yu-Gi-Oh.”
“Why is the game playing itself?!”
“Honestly, I’m so confused right now.”
“You’re just saying words.”
“Apparently, I’m the slave and you’re the master.”
“Once upon a time, these cookies - … right?”
“No, it’s not! It’s awful!”
“I was gonna say the cookie mafia.”
“My penis went straight in it.”
“If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Don’t put your penis in the cookie batter.”
“Maybe I’m bullshiting you.”
“Have you ever been so sick that you shit your pants?”
“Why would you shit your pants from a cold?”
“It’s like a defense mechanism, I don’t know.”
“Do you ever think of what Randy Quade fucks like?”
“Make it fast, I’m wanted by the law.”
“I was also borned to fuck.”
“Draco from - from My Immortal?”
“I’m absolutely rocking your shit apart.”
“This isn’t a dick measuring contest.”
“You know what else is shallow? A pool. At the shallow part.”
“Well, fuck.”
“You have nailed it yet again, my friend.”
“You’re going to ask me what Einstein’s thing right now?”
“How many times have I told you that you’re beautiful?”
“Not enough.”
“Don’t say anything.”
“It’s a Justin Bieber song.”
“Is it really?”
“Nothing you just said made sense.”
“I’ve got 99 cookie problems and this is bitch is one.”
“Watch out, Jay-Z.”
“My days are numbered.”
“God damn it!”
“What if you pulled down your pants and your wiener was a Snickers? Would you eat it?”
“Don’t do this right now.”
“Real talk, would you eat it?”
“I hope you burn in hell.”
“That was the most not good way of saying that it’s good.”
“Your friendship is a treasure.”

this year has been rough. not gonna lie. a lot has happened that has sucked, and i’ve learnt to not rely on circumstances for your happiness. don’t wait for the right moment to be happy, because something else awful is gonna come by and hit you down again, you need to learn how to maintain happiness when things suck. cause people get sick, people pass away, people leave, and that’s just how it is. it sucks. but these are things that are gonna be constantly occurring throughout your lifetime, and you need to learn to be happy throughout these times. allow yourself time to be sad, mourn, but you need to move on, and that’s something i’ve had to work on this year.

20 DGM Sentence Starters
  • "I soon came to a point where I didn't know whether my smiling face was a lie or not."
  • "I really am an idiot."
  • "Until the last breath leaves my body, I will not stop walking."
  • "I'm an awful person, aren't I?"
  • "It seems... my life is at an end."
  • "A path is something you create as you walk it."
  • "You know you're bleeding, right?"
  • "We will definitely win. I swear it."
  • "After all these years, I still don't know when to give up."
  • "If it gets cold we're gonna have to cuddle."
  • "Even if I do sacrifice my own life, I'll only do it to save my friends."
  • "Stay here where it's safe. I'm begging you..."
  • "I can't do anything right, it's better if I just don't try at all."
  • "He was my enemy. Shouldn't I have killed him?"
  • "You shouldn't treat people's lives like toys!"
  • "Humans are stupid."
  • "I will follow you til the day it all ends."
  • "Don't bear the burden alone, okay?"
  • "You're naive."
  • "If you die, I'll hate you for it."

anonymous asked:

I can't tell if I'm actually sick or it's just anxiety but I feel like I'm gonna throw up :/

aw oh no :-( i hope you feel better soon <3 maybe lie down and relax for a little & listen to some music or watch some calming videos until the feeling possibly goes away 


Luke’s POV

“You know babe, it’s not that very nice of you to wear my shirt and only your lace panties around the house you know?” I growled to her ear.

Fuck. She’s driving me crazy.

“Oh? What you gonna do about it then?” She teased.

“We’ll see about that.” I said before grabbing her ass.

“Too bad we can’t have sex right now.” She giggled.

“Damn it. Why?” I pouted like a little kid.

“U-uhm. It’s a little embarrassing.” She said before blushing furiously.

“It’s okay love. Just say it.” I encouraged.

“I have a razor rash down there.”

I bursted out laughing because of how embarrassed she was until she crossed her arms at me and gave me a serious look.

“Awe shit babe. I di-…”

“Got ya!”

“Not gonna lie. I’m horny and you ruined the mood.”

“Hold up. Nobody told me I can’t suck you off.”

“Fuck you drive me crazy baby girl.” I said before re-attaching my lips to her neck.

Shows on netflix I plan on watching

The L Word, aw yeah lesbians, hopefully this is good
The IT Crowd
That 70′s show, I remember watching random episodes with my parents
Terrace House, the lpers I watch said this is enteraining
Gotham, not gonna lie I’m confused as to why the penguin is a tall skinny dude, and not short and big like you know a /penguin/
Penny Dreadful
Sense 8, I heard this is pretty gay
Law and Order SVU, at least what they have on their
Friends, I’ll find out if Ross is really that bad
House of Cards
How to get away with Murder, aw yeah Viola Davis
Hemlock Grove
Grey’s Anatomy
Lost, I gave up on this when it aired on tv so let’s try again
The Legends of Tomorrow, I know nothing about this tbh
Peaky Binders
House, another show I watched random episodes of
Supergirl, lesbians happen at some point 
Mad Men, all I known is the guy who played Cole from La Noire is in this and my main reason for even being into this
The Killing
Unbreakable Kimmy Schimit
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Charmed, my mom loved this show when it aired
From Dusk until Dawn, I do like vampires
Jane the Virgin
Freaks and Geeks
Young Justice
Voltron, Steven voices one of them, so that’s really all I care about
Crazy Ex Girlfriend, I like musicals, also that bi song is great
Gilmore Girls, a friend of mine used the one girl as a faceclaim for Max Caulfield lol
Don’t Trust the B, I like Krysten Ritter
Being Human, another show my mom watched

anonymous asked:

happy valentines day!! for the Best Boi 💕 hope all those flower arrangements arent bringing you down too much :-)

Haha awe thank you lol it was rough not gonna lie but I survived

anonymous asked:

Not gonna lie these post between them is gonna make me cry😫

Aw! I feel bad for Amber bc you can tell she’s hurting but as for the loss of the ship I’m not really in any kind of mourning, idk I guess I just don’t get in it that deep. I’m basically here for their happiness and while they were together that meant I was rooting for them to succeed and make each other happy but since they’ve broken up it’s clear that they’re better off apart right now so I’m glad they made that decision so that they can each move on towards finding the person that IS right for them. Try thinking of it that way, and then maybe you’ll feel better about it :)

Friend: I’m not sure about this new show - it looks kind of silly.
New Show: Hi! I’m not gonna lie to you, I am really silly. But I’ve got a female villain who’s done really terrible thing. I mean awful. She has a tragic past and it’s possible she might want to redeem herself. There’s another female character who’s fundamentally good and they reluctantly team up to fight evil. Also, they would die for each other.
Me: Well, that’s my fanfiction reading sorted for the next two years.