not gonna lie that was way too funny not to do

GAME GRUMPS SENTENCE STARTERS. 

  • ❝ God, what if we just fucked one day? ❞
  • ❝ Don’t sass me in front of the internet. ❞
  • ❝ Follow your stupid fucking dreams. ❞
  • ❝ Come at me scrub lord, I’m ripped. ❞
  • ❝ I just wanna have sex with space. ❞
  • ❝ Get in the tub with me, daddy. ❞
  • ❝ Will you just relax and let me kill for money? ❞
  • ❝ That sounds like your problem. Fuck you. ❞
  • ❝ Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. Eat your teeth. ❞ 
  • ❝ Make like a tree and fucking die. ❞
  • ❝ Dude just…just pity laugh at least. ❞
  • ❝ Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird. ❞
  • ❝ We are like the Stephen Kings of stupid. ❞
  • ❝ Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so? ❞
  • ❝ Do I have to jerk you off to blow your mind? ❞
  • ❝ I haven’t had so much fun since I killed my parents. ❞
  • ❝ Unfortunately I had sex with a guy/girl over the weekend. ❞
  • ❝ What’s a vegetarian zombie say? GRAAAAAAAINS.
  • ❝ Revenge is a best dish served fuck you. ❞
  • ❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞
  • ❝ I need an ice cream sandwich and a gentle blowjob. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. ❞
  • ❝ The bananas has gone bad! ❞
  • ❝ I cared for those bananas! I raised them with my own two feet! ❞
  • ❝ Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke. ❞
  • ❝ What if everyone just had constant helicopter dick? ❞
  • ❝ [ name ], does getting me wet fill you with determination? ❞
  • ❝ I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian. ❞
  • ❝ Wouldn’t it be funny if, like, you lost a family member? ❞
  • ❝ These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed’. ❞ 
  • ❝ Call me One Direction ‘cause my relevancy is dropping by the day. ❞ 
  • ❝ One time I killed a person and I didn’t report it to the police. ❞
  • ❝ I wanna take a girl to the Grand Canyon, fuck her, and throw her in. ❞ 
  • ❝ Nothing like a gunshot wound to the face to really mellow someone out. ❞ 
  • ❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞ 
  • ❝ [ name ], I’m on a date with a guy/girl right now and you’re embarrassing me. ❞
  • ❝ I’ve made a decision. I’m gonna in the kitchen, gonna open the dishwasher, and I’m gonna climb inside. ❞
  • ❝ I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified. ❞
  • ❝ I could pee on this couch, right now, no problem, while looking you directly in the eyes.❞ 
  • ❝ Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’ ❞
  • ❝ All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are blue, except for three of them. And there are four. ❞ 
  • ❝ And Abraham said unto Moses, ‘Bro, dude, aliens.’ ❞
  • ❝ I’m gonna throw you out the window. We don’t even have any windows in this room…I’m gonna carve out a window and throw you through it. ❞ 
  • ❝ DO IT YOU SACK OF SHIT! – Sorry. That didn’t come out as encouraging as I meant it to. ❞
  • ❝ [ name ], if there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.❞
  • ❝ If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else. ❞
  • ❝ Next time we make love, [ name ], would you please refer to me as your sweet cakey treasure? ❞   
  • ❝ I try to show at least one other human-being my butt hole every single day. ❞
  • ❝ The only people who don’t like sluts are the people who don’t get any. ❞ 
  • ❝ Have you ever though of a career in driving people fucking insane? Because you are already a PRO at it. ❞ 
  • ❝ I am actively looking for ways to get you to shut the fuck up. ❞
  • ❝ First of all, you have to stop calling it ‘Mary Jane.’ That’s the first rule of stonerdom. People will think you’re a fucking narc. ❞
  • ❝ First of all, no one says ‘pot-eyes’, you fuckin’ narc. ❞
  • ❝ If by OK you mean like on the inside I’m just going ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ then yes, I’m quite OK ❞
  • ❝ When you walk outside there are three elements of nature that you must avoid: snow, wind, and bees. ❞ 
  • ❝ Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.” ❞
Sexting (Jimin smut)

Originally posted by minblush


Summary: On a lonely night, you decide to sign up for an anonymous sexting site. Of course you are matched with the notorious fuckboy you’re constantly trying to avoid. Park fucking Jimin.

Themes: Sexting, Fuckboy Jimin, College AU.

Pairing: You x Jimin

Word Count: 4k

This fic contains: Explicit and graphic depictions of smut, sex over the phone, swearing. 


ENTER USERNAME:

Cleopatra123

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Male/Female

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

I’d rather not say/enter here:

WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?

Decent conversation/making friends/finding a language buddy/other

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR AGE PREFERANCE:

19-24

CLICK ‘CHAT’ TO BE MATCHED WITH A PARTNER!

YOU HAVE BEEN MATCHED WITH ‘THOR562’.

THOR562: 21 years old- Seoul, South Korea- also interested in ‘other’.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHAT?

Yes/No

YOU ARE NOW IN A CHAT WITH THOR562, ENJOY!


Keep reading

` ° • ✧ TANGLED SENTENCE STARTERS.

’ Call it what you will… fate… destiny… ’
’ You smell that? Take a deep breath through the nose. ’
’ Really let that seep in. ’
’ What are you getting? ’
’ Your thoughts? ’
’ I don’t know why, but overall it just smells like the color brown. ’
’ I could get used to a view like this. ’
’ Yep, I’m used to it. Guys I want a castle. ’
’ Great. Now I’m the bad guy. ’
’ Look in that mirror. ’
’ I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady. ’
’ Oh look, you’re here too. ’
’ Skip the drama, stay with Mama! ’
’ This is the story of how I died. ’
’ Don’t worry, this is actually a very fun story and the truth is, it isn’t even mine. ’
’ Oh… oh no… where is my satchel? ’
’ I’ve hidden it. Somewhere you’ll never find it. ’
’ It’s in that pot, isn’t it? ’
’ I’m just teasing! ’
’ How you manage to do that every single day without fail! ’
’ It looks absolutely exhausting, darling! ’
’ Then I don’t know why it takes so long. ’
’ Oh, it’s nothing. ’
’ Who are you, and how did you find me? ’
’ I know not who you are, nor how I came to find you. ’
’ May I just say… Hi. How ya doin’? ’
’ You were my new dream. ’
’ You should know that this is the strangest thing I’ve ever done! ’
’ Let’s just assume for the moment that everyone in here doesn’t like me! ’
’ How ‘bout best two out of three? ’
’ Who’s that? ’
’ They don’t like me. ’
’ Too weak to handle myself out there, huh, ______? ’
’ Go. Live your dream. ’
’ Your dream stinks. I was talking to her. ’
’ I was saying tomorrow is a really big day, and you didn’t really respond. ’
’ I distinctly remember, your birthday was last year. ’
’ No no no, can’t be. ’
’ That’s the funny thing about birthdays, they’re kind of an annual thing. ’
’ You know how I feel about the mumbling. ’
’ Blah blah blah blah blah, it’s very annoying! ’
’ I’m just teasing, you’re adorable. ’
’ I love you so much, darling. ’
’ Let me just get this straight. ’
’ I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you’ll give me back my satchel? ’
’ When I promise something, I never ever break that promise. ’
’ I didn’t want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. ’
’ This is kind of an off-day for me. This doesn’t normally happen. ’
’ Fine! I’ll take you to see the lanterns. ’
’ You broke my smolder. ’
’ Here comes the smolder. ’
’ This is bad, this is very very bad, this is really bad… ’
’ They just can’t get my nose right! ’
’ Who cares? ’
’ Well, it’s easy for you to say… ’
’ The party lasted an entire week, and honestly, I don’t remember most of it. ’
’ I’ve been dreaming about them my entire life! ’
’ Haven’t any of you ever had a dream? ’
’ What’s your dream? ’
’ Sorry, boys. I don’t sing. ’
’ Well, I hope you’re here to apologize. ’
’ I have something for you too. ’
’ I should have given it to you before, but I was scared. ’
’ And the thing is, I’m not scared anymore. ’
’ You know what I mean? ’
’ All right, okay, give me a boost, and I’ll pull you up. ’
’ I just… I can’t believe that after all we’ve been through together, you don’t… trust me? ’
’ Sorry… my hands are full. ’
’ I’ve been looking out of a window for eighteen years. ’
’ And what if it is? What do I do then? ’
’ What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be? ’
’ Well, that’s the good part I guess. ’
’ You get to go find a new dream. ’
’ That’s a lot of hair. ’
’ Oh, now they’re just being mean. ’
’ I can’t believe I did this! ’
’ I mean, what she doesn’t know won’t kill her, right? ’
’ I have made the decision to trust you. ’
’ So, what do you want with my hair? To cut it? ’
’ Listen, the only thing I want to do with your hair is to get out of it… ’
’ I have a big surprise! ’
’ Did I ever tell you I’ve got a thing for brunettes? ’
’ Is it ruffians? Thugs? Have they come for me? ’
’ Stay calm. It can probably smell fear. ’
’ You should see your faces because you look - ’
’ I didn’t see that coming. ’
’ But I know what the big question is? ’
’ So! Hey can I ask you something? ’
’ Because I’m not gonna lie, that would be stupendous… ’
’ Is there any chance that I’m going to get super strength in my hand? ’
’ Oh. Sorry yes, just… lost in thought I guess. ’
’ Whoaaaa! Somebody get me a glass! ’
’ Frying pans… who knew, right? ’
’ Sorry! Just, don’t… don’t freak out. ’
’ Is that blood in your mustache? ’
’ Look at all the blood in his mustache! ’
’ I can’t help but notice you seem a little at war with yourself here. ’
’ Now, I’m only picking up bits and pieces here, of course. ’
’ A little rebellion, a little adventure, that’s good. Healthy, even. ’
’ I mean, this is serious stuff. ’
’ But let me ease your conscience. This is part of growing up. ’
’ You’re way over thinking this, trust me. ’
’ I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m letting you out of the deal. ’
’ What is it going to take for me to get my satchel back? ’
’ You can’t tell anyone about this, okay? ’
’ Well, I’ve gotta say, I didn’t know you had that in you back there. ’
’ Now, I know I’m not supposed to mention the hair. ’
’ Frankly, I’m too scared to ask about the frog. ’
’ If you want to see the lanterns so badly, why haven’t you gone before? ’
’ Why would you ask such a ridiculous question? ’
’ I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power… ’
’ That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes. ’
’ Hmm. I have magic hair that glows when I sing. ’

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic

Our Secret

Originally posted by kulo-ren

Charachters: Reader x Jughead

Word Count: 1,109

Warnings: None?

Anon Request: Can u do an imagine about being jug’s gf but no one knows and when he gets in a fight with reggie and stand up for him? 

A/N: I had fun writing this one, I hope y'all enjoy it!


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


His lips smashed onto yours passionately and you kissed back with just as much eagerness. Your hands knotted it’s way in his hair lightly pulling every now and then, while his hands left small bruises from where his fingertips dug into your hips. 

 You moaned quietly only spurring him on further. His lips left yours and quickly found their way to your jawline. Kissing his way down your neck, leaving his mark on you. But you didn’t care, all you wanted was him. 

 You pulled him back to your lips where your tongues wrestled for dominance, but you had no chance of winning. Suddenly you heard footsteps and immediately jumped away from each other and tried to make yourselves look like you hadn’t just spent the last 10 minutes heavily making out. 

 You peered around the corner the both of you had been hiding behind and saw Archie walking down the hall. You pulled out your phone to inspect the marks on your jaw and neck and immediately cursed. 

“Fucking hell Jughead, how the hell am I supposed to hide these!?” You exclaimed quietly as you tried to shift your shirt to hide them, but that didn’t work. He pulled off his sweatshirt and offered it to you which you gratefully took, the over sized jacket effectively did the job. You left the corner you both had been occupying first so as not to seem suspicious. 

For the entirety of your relationship you both tried to hide the fact that you were dating, not wanting any of the drama that it would bring. “Hey Y/n.” Archie greeted. Jughead appeared from around the corner. “Oh… hey…” Archie greeted him awkwardly before leaving. 

“What was all that about?” You asked him as his hand found its way on your hip. “Nothing, don’t worry about it.” He practically spat as he watched Archie walk away. “Whatever you say, now come on, lets go to the lounge, I needed to ask Betty for some notes.” He nodded and the both of you made your way to the said room. 

 You and Jug walked over to where Betty, Veronica and Kevin were. “Hey Betty, can you lend me those notes for that class I wasn’t able to make it to last week?” “Of course.” She said as she went digging through her backpack. Kevin was the first to notice your sweatshirt. “Hey isn’t that Jughead’s jacket?” He asked as he shot the two of you a look.

“I-I.” “She was cold, I lent it to her.” “Yeah, yep. That’s- yeah I was cold and he let me borrow it.” You winced at your obvious lie but prayed they’d buy it. Kevin gave the both of you another look before deciding to drop the subject, at that moment they all heard Reggie start to speak up, this time it was about Jason Blossom’s death.

“And Sheriff Keller’s grilling me, Mantle the Magnificent. ‘Cause I’d want Blossom dead. When he was, like, the only good quarterback we had.” He looked over at Moose who had been smiling. 

“And speaking of offensive tight-ends, I should’ve sent the cops to you, Moose. Because here’s another unsolved mystery. What exactly were you and Kevin doing at the river, huh? Or does being with the sheriff’s son give you a free pass Keller?” Reggie was clearly trying to start something with anyone who’d listen. 

 "Reggie’s just being a blowhard, Kev.“ You heard Betty tell Kevin. "I don’t care what he says. I mean, let’s think about it. If a kid at Riverdale killed Jason, it’s not gonna be a jock, right? Now, let’s be honest. Isn’t it always some spooky, scrawny, pathetic Internet troll, too busy writing his manifestos to get laid? Some smug, moody, serial killer fanboy freak… like Jughead?" 

Everyone looked at Jughead while Reggie laughed. Jughead just glared back in response as he leaned against one of the many counters. "What was it like, Suicide Squad? When you shot Jason? You didn’t do stuff to the body, did you? Like After?” Jughead rolled his eyes. 

 "It’s called necrophilia, Reggie, can you spell it?“ "Come here, you little-.” Reggie had hopped over one of the couches when Archie came out of nowhere and immediately blocked a blow that was was meant for Jughead’s face. “Hey shut the hell up, Reggie.” “What do you care, Andrews?” Reggie threatened.

 "Nothing, just leave him alone.“ "Holy crap. Did you and Donnie Darko kill him together? Was it some sort of pervy, blood brother thing?” You snorted when he said that as you thought about what actually had taken place between you and Jughead on July 4th. “What’s so funny you introverted freak.” Reggie asked as he stared you down. 

“Nothing just… I think it’s funny how you are such a dick all the time. I wonder if this stupid massive ego you always use is to make up for something. Are you lacking a little in the size department?” You asked with a cheeky grin. Everyone started laughing while Reggie just started at you with absolute hatred before a thought crossed his mind making him smile evilly. 

“Oh, I get it. I bet you were another accomplice in this whole scheme. Which one of you held Jason down while the other killed him, huh?” “I cant say anything for Archie but I know for a fact that Jughead and I were not at all near Sweetwater River during the time of Jason’s death. So go try your little theories somewhere else.” You instantly regretted your words when you realized what you said. 

 Reggie smirked as everyone else watched with curiosity. “And what’s that supposed to mean dork? What could you two have possibly been doing that could be used as a credible alibi?” He asked with an eyebrow raised. You opened your mouth but no words came out. 

 "Because we’re dating, and we just happened to be getting more action than you have in your entire life on July 4th, Reggie.“ Jughead replied with a narrowed eyes and a smirk as he pulled you into his side. You along with everyone else in the room gasped. "I thought we weren’t going to tell anyone!?” You whispered loudly.

“Ooooh Reggie got burned!” Someone shouted leading to everyone laughing causing him to storm out of the lounge with a pissed off look. You looked back up at Jughead with awe and confusion all at the same time. “What? I couldn’t let him go off on my girl like that.” He simply stated making you feel all fuzzy inside as you smiled at him widely before kissing him on the cheek making him blush.

anonymous asked:

Writting Prompt: Danny cries in his sleep, sometimes really loud. And screams. Once he even transform while sleeping. The problem is, he start to doing it when he fall asleep in class. Hope it's good enough to write

angst oh god what is with this phandom and angst okay here’s ur angst with a heavy dose of weird millennial humour because this bitch can’t angst without a metric fuck of comedy sprinkled all over the place

also I’m sick and wrote half of this in the middle of the night while feverish so like, I did my best

“OKAY THIS IS FINE.” Danny said aloud to the floor. He didn’t really intend the floor to be the recipient of his ire but it was where his face was currently planted so it would just have to ding darn diddly deal with it.

Danny had experienced his fair share of being stuck in awkward positions but this one had rivalled many of his top ten, and he hadn’t even been thrown across a room by a ghost to achieve it! Nope, he just fell out of bed.

One arm was flung out before him, the other awkwardly pulled behind his back, still twisted up in his bedsheets, along with his leg. Just the one leg, the other was hanging - in quite a remarkable display of inhuman dexterity - over his shoulder.

All it took was some gut wrenching, heart stopping, bile inducing nightmares. Nothing fancy really, just the visceral image of everyone he loved and cared about DYING from TOO MUCH FIRE right in front of his eyes as he watched helplessly. Yep.

“THIS IS FINE.” Danny said again, a little louder this time. The carpet smelled like feet, Danny decided maybe he should take his eating hole off the gross floor before he caught a foot fungus on his lip. He knew it was possible, it happened to Ricky Marsh once at camp.

Yeah Danny should REEEAAAALLY get his face off that carpet. Right now, yep. He was gonna get up at this very mome-

Jazz heard a loud snore come from Danny’s bedroom. He was supposed to be up half an hour ago, school started in ten minutes. But she knew he had a plate piled high with superhero shenanigans that kept him up at obnoxiously late hours nine nights out of ten. The bags under his eyes could hold all the homework he never got done, with extra space for his unfinished chores.

Jazz was fully prepared to sneak in and firmly tuck him into bed with ghost proof sheets, a lie, an excuse and at least three compromises balanced on her tongue ready to jump at any parent and/or teacher that wanted her brother out of the warm sanctuary of bed today. Then she heard his gentle snores twist into a devastatingly soul crushing little whimper.

Oh boy, that wasn’t good.

Jazz opened her brother’s bedroom door and quietly peered inside to find… no one. He wasn’t there. Typical ghost bullshi-

Jazz had almost closed the door when she heard it again, that tiny little whimper. Was he invisible? She thought to herself, barely acknowledging how fucking weird her life had gotten that that question came so naturally to her.

Jazz padded into the room and found that Danny had, somehow, managed to fall asleep on the floor beside his bed. One leg still hanging in the air via blanket sling, it was almost funny, until he screamed that is.

Jazz nearly jumped out of her spotty blue socks when a noise ripped out of her sleeping brother’s throat, a noise that honestly could have come from the cutting room floor of a horror flick that was deemed too terrifyingly violent to be shown on screens literally anywhere. His back was arched, his mouth wide, hands curled in on themselves, he almost looked as though he were convulsing.

It stopped suddenly, with a gasp and a jolt Danny woke. He didn’t shoot up or flail about, he just laid down on the floor, eyes blearily noticing that there was another person in the room. Jazz sat down by his side as he wiped his face, staring at the tears on his hands.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Danny glared at her.

“Sorry, standard question.” Jazz mumbled as she unhooked his foot from the clinging bedsheets. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Danny, still laying on the floor, swung his right arm around, it had gone numb and tingly, the kind of numb and tingly that really hecking hurt when he started moving it again, yeesh.

“I had this really gnarly dream,” he started as he massaged his arm, Jazz listened intently. “I ordered a sandwich without mayo but when I bit into it there was mayo like, EVERYWHERE and-”

Jazz dropped a pillow on his face.

“That was rude.” Danny’s muffled voice grumbled.

“If you don’t want to talk about it you can just say so instead of being an asshole.” Jazz huffed as she found a pair of jeans and a shirt that were Clean Enough and threw them at the pillow. “You were crying and screaming, I was WORRIED.”

Danny pulled the pillow and clothes away and looked at his sister, actually looked her in the face. Her eyebrows were pulled tight and she was gnawing on her bottom lip, she really did look worried. Danny sat up and fished a somewhat pungent binder from under his bed, Pariah’s Oath he really needed to do his laundry.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” he stared down at his hands, face suspiciously neutral.

“Okay.” Jazz’s voice was gentle, she wasn’t going to push it, she’d learned a long time ago that it always just made things worse. “That’s okay, just know you can always talk to me, alright?”

Danny stood up and stretched, joints cracking and popping in a way that made Jazz want to barf. He could feel his arm again, thank the Ancients.

“You say that now, but every time a new rocket model comes out-”

“Bye Danny.” Jazz fucked off faster than Johnny’s shadow at dawn, absolutely Not wanting to stick around for another geeky space rant. Danny’s shit eating grin followed her out the door until it clicked shut, suddenly dropping back into the deadass tired face of a student who was entirely convinced that consistent sleep schedules were a myth.

He was not okay, ooooh he was so not okay.

Falling asleep again had been a mistake, a GRAVE mista- no okay, no, that pun was just inappropriate. He’d just had not one, but TWO disgustingly detailed nightmares about Literally Everyone dying, death puns were OFF the table right now.

Regular puns were still on the cards though, he thought to himself as he plopped his Little Pocket Book of Puns on top of a deck of cards sitting on his desk. He was proud of that one, in fact he snapchatted it, his smug face squeezed into the corner of the shot by the words ‘passng chem is off the cards bt my puns arnt’. It was easy to fool people with photos, he only had to pull off one good smile and people thought he was fine.

The flood of horrified snapchats he received in return made him giddy. Everything from a two minute video of Valerie trying not to hurl to a picture of Dash’s middle finger. Danny grinned, his grin looked genuine, it was not.

“This is fine.” he lied.

*RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING*

Danny barely made it through the door before the bell went off, he celebrated his victory with a very brief and offensively outdated dance move before Tucker threw a pen at his head and the teacher told him to sit down before he hurt himself.

Danny’s goofy grin remained plastered onto his face as he sat next to Tucker, who was giving him the kind of look that was usually reserved for the weird surrealist internet videos Nathan always tagged him in on Facebook.

“You are like…” Tucker started, fiddling with the broken nib of his stylus. “Super hyper today what the fu-”

“Language, Foley.” the homeroom teacher deadpanned from behind his book.

“Sorry sir! But seriously what the fuck dude.” Tucker continued at a still very perceptible volume. The teacher sighed heavily.

“It’s cool I’m fine I just got like two hours of sleep and drank five coffees in ten minutes I think I can hear colours.” Danny’s eye twitched.

Tucker didn’t laugh, Danny was trying to be funny but it was like, twelve year old funny. He sighed and lowered his voice.

“You’re having nightmares again aren’t you.” Tucker stared through Danny’s plastic grin with serious eyes. “We talked about this Danny, I told you to STOP faking this shit with me. You know what happens when you don’t get enough sleep, you get really fucking weird.”

“Did you get my snapchat this morning?” Danny asked as though he hadn’t heard a single word his best friend had just said.

“Yes, it was awful and I hate you.” The jab had no bite, Tucker couldn’t stand seeing Danny like this, it was like some awful parody of his friend amped up to eleven. He didn’t bother trying to talk sense into him, sense was gone, sense was out the window, sense was on the next plane to god damn Timbuktu.

Danny’s giddiness didn’t let up a single inch throughout their first couple of morning classes. He had stupid jokes and shitty puns hidden up every sleeve in the building, and the tiniest little thing would set him off giggling. Star smacked a fly with a ruler, Danny literally fell off his chair laughing.

Mr Lancer gave Tucker permission to drag Danny out into the hallway to calm down. Tucker grimaced in apology as he dragged along a snorting Danny by the sleeve, the rest of the class having a good laugh of their own.

“Do you think he’s like, actually on drugs or something?” Tucker heard Paulina whisper not even remotely quietly as they left the room.

The moment the classroom door had closed, Tucker slammed Danny against the wall.

“DUDE! GET. A. GRIP.” Tucker was not even in the general vicinity of fucking around right now. Danny needed to chill his tits before he got into serious trouble, the last thing he needed was a detention lumped on top of the pile of reasons Danny’s life was a train wreck.

Danny clenched his teeth, his eyes were wide, too wide. Then his mouth curled up and a laugh squeezed its way through taught lips. Oh no, not again. Not on Tucker’s watch. Before the next giggle fit could get into full swing Tucker had pulled out his drink bottle, uncapped it, and dumped the entirety of its contents on Danny’s stupid guffawing head.

A cough and a splutter later and Danny was sitting on the floor, the stupid grin officially washed from his face.

“Can we talk like actual human beings now?” Tucker asked, the plastic water bottle thudding emptily on the ground.

“I’m not an ‘actual human being’. So no. I can’t.” Danny’s voice was short and clipped, his expression stony.

Tucker slumped to the floor next to his best friend, ignoring the puddle he was half sitting in. They sat in silence for a bit, listening to Mr Lancer’s muffled voice droning on about adverbs or something. A squeak from someone’s shoe echoed down the empty hall. A fluorescent light flickered. Danny winced.

“You wanna borrow my earphones? I’ve got some chill tunes if you need to like, shut everything out for a bit.” Tucker held the tangled cords out to Danny who promptly stuck them in his ears and buried his face in his arms. It was all just, just too much right now.

He threw his hands over his ears when the bell rang, Tucker put a gentle arm around his shoulder.

“C'mon, it’s about to get really loud out here.” he said quietly, taking Danny by the arm and leading him to their next class. It was history, they were watching a movie. Perfect. Tucker rolled up his jacket and put it on the desk in front of Danny.

“Try and sleep a bit, if you can. You can copy my notes later.”

Tucker was a good friend.

Danny put his head down, Tucker’s chill playlist still thrumming softly in his ears. He didn’t want to sleep, he didn’t want to see everyone die again, but his eyes could barely stay open. He read somewhere online that just laying down and resting was still good for you, even if he didn’t sleep he could still get some energy back at least, maybe.

He was out like a light the moment his head hit Tucker’s jacket.

The dream was never the same. Every time it started as just a regular weird ass dream, he was at the Nasty Burger, but he was sitting at his kitchen table. His friends were there, so was some guy he’d never met, they were talking about monster trucks or… something. The guy he didn’t know was showing him a song he wrote, it was gentle and calm, Danny liked it.

That was when the Guys in White showed up. They’d been there before, but not every time. Danny remembered the last dream he had, vaguely, he didn’t know he was dreaming now, but he knew what was going to happen next.

“RUN!” he tried to scream, but his voice came out strangled and quiet. Sam and Tucker kept chatting, they couldn’t see the danger, the strange guy started playing a different song, he had an acoustic guitar now and was on a stage that wasn’t there before.

The Guys in White aimed their ectoguns, knocking off shots around the entire Nasty Burger, Valerie collapsed behind the counter, had she always been there? Jazz was next, she was reading a book on the lounge that had definitely been there the whole time. Danny kept trying to scream, but his throat just couldn’t make anything more than a strangled rasping noise.

Sam and Tucker collapsed before him, the music changed again, the guy on the stage had a smoking hole in his chest, he was playing a cello now. The music was calm, soft and gentle, it hadn’t stopped during the shooting. The GIW agent at the head of the group turned to Danny, face splitting into an evil grin, flaming hair licking at his temples, it wasn’t a GIW agent any more. It had never been a GIW agent.

Danny tried to transform, he needed to save them, they were dead but he NEEDED to save them, if he could go ghost, if he could change he could fix this. His core felt so far away, the cold chill within him just JUST out of his grasp. Why couldn’t he change? WHY COULDN’T HE CHANGE?

Tucker sat at his desk in the dark classroom, taking halfassed notes about… something something president Washington. Hadn’t they already covered this? A flash at the edge of his vision pulled his tired gaze over to the sleeping mess beside him. Danny made a noise, a whimper? It sounded like he was trying to say something.

“Ru… ru-” Danny muttered, voice broken and, oh god he sounded so terrified.

Tucker’s heart splintered into tiny little pieces, and those tiny pieces shattered until his heart was basically just a pile of powder, really sad and devastated powder. Concentrated melancholy, in powder form. He nudged Danny.

“Danny, Danny wake up. Dude you’re talking in your sleep, WAKE UP.” Tucker was super worried, like beyond overprotective mother worried, if Danny said something incriminating in his sleep, if he said something about PHANTOM-

“Gotta… go-” a strand of silver began to creep through Danny’s dark hair.

Oh fuck.

Tucker shook Danny as violently as he subtly could, he needed to wake up. He needed to wake the fuck up right the fuck right NOW. FUCK. It was panic time, shit was getting dangerously identity revealing up in here and Tucker had to do something about it.

More silver was weaving through Danny’s hair, flickers of a dark, skin tight costume appearing for only the briefest of anxiety inducing moments. They were sitting in the back corner of the room, no one had noticed that anything was wrong yet, but someone would. Someone would notice SOON if Tucker couldn’t get Danny to wAKE THE HECKING FUCK HELL UP.

“Danny I swear to god if you don’t wake up I’m going to kill the rest of you. WAKE. UP.” How was Tucker supposed to wake him up without drawing attention to- oh good lordy fucK HIS HAIR.

Tucker pulled Danny’s hood over his head as quickly as he could nearly half a second after a flash of white overtook his entire scalp. Had anyone noticed?? Tucker glanced around the room, nobody was looking, thank christ Wes wasn’t in this class.

Tucker tucked the white strands into the hood as best he could manage before texting Sam as fast as his fingers would allow.

Sam was in the middle of copying some crap about photosynthesis that she already knew when she felt her phone buzz. It was from Tucker, and if his spelling was anything to go by, he was in trouble.

'DIASTRACTION NOWm’

Sam got the gist.

Pretending she was about to vomit everywhere was an easy way out of the classroom, and from there it was just a quick run to the fire alarm. It wasn’t the first time Sam had pulled off a fake emergency, she smashed the glass and hit the button with no hesitation, fuck the consequences. From there she just had to figure out where Danny and Tucker were, they all had copies of each other’s classes in case of just such emergencies.

History, they had history. She knew which room that was.

Sam took off running, boots thundering through the crowds of students filtering out of their classrooms. Sam could barely hear the alarm over the sound of her heart beat thudding in her ears, she didn’t have time to panic and worry, something was wrong and the most important thing right now was finding out what it was and if her friends were okay.

Someone noticed her through the crowd though. As she smashed through a group of kids coming out of a maths class, one guy caught her gaze, one guy decided to follow. Jesus shit she did NOT have the time for this.

Sam detoured down a seperate hallway, the tall redhead on her tail easily keeping pace, why couldn’t he just mind his own god damn business for once and, you know what? Sam thought, FUCK IT.

Another detour into an empty classroom and she had him. Bursting through the door after her, Wes looked around fervently, expecting to find Danny in some kind of juicy compromising situation. What he got was a surprise boot to the gut and he hit the deck like a sack of bricks.

Sam didn’t waste a second before bolting from the room, Wes had already taken up enough of her precious time.

Wes coughed and wheezed and tried to drag a breath into his aching abdomen, she’d clocked him a damn heavy blow and his body was not cooperating until it had a good few moments to recover from Whatever The Fuck Just Happened.

Damn it he was so close!

“Alright everyone, out onto the parking lot, like we do literally every other week.” The history teacher droned, his voice dry. He didn’t even bother making sure everyone left the room before walking out himself, it was probably a ghost attack anyway. These things lost their sense of urgency after the last fifty billion times, the only reason he didn’t make everyone get back into their seats was for legal reasons and honestly, he could really use the smoke break.

Tucker made a show of getting up to leave, but once he and Danny were the only two left he immediately dropped his shit and whammo’d his fists down on Danny’s desk.

“WAKE UP!” He yelled as Sam slid haphazardly into the room, clocking her hip on the teacher’s desk as she failed to reign in her momentum. She struggled with her footing for a moment before catching herself and racing up to the back of the class.

“Is he okay? What’s happening??” she asked, breathlessly.

Tucker lifted the hood from Danny’s bright-ass silvery hair.

“He’s transforming in his sleep and I can’t get him to wake up.” Tucker rushed out in one breath before grabbing Danny by the shoulders. “WAKE. UP. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!!” Tucker screamed while shaking him with about as much tenderness as an irate Skulker on illegal performance enhancing ghost drugs. Finally, it was enough.

Danny jolted roughly, spasmed almost, and opened his fluorescent green eyes. Sam and Tucker took a quick step back in case he lashed out, but he didn’t. Danny’s hands gripped at the table hard enough to leave gouges in the sharpie-graffiti stained surface as his breath came out laboured and rasping. Tears smeared across his cheeks and dripped from his nose and chin.

He blinked, hard, before finally raising his head from the desk, looking remarkably disoriented. He was still flickering in and out of ghost form, disappearing from view entirely a few times as well, but it was slowing down as he took a few deep, shuddering breaths. Soon enough he was calm enough to stick to one form, human fortunately.

Sam breathed out a sigh and sat heavily on the nearest chair. He was okay and god she needed to sit down and catch the breath she’d left behind in science class.

Tucker sat beside Danny - who was now vigorously rubbing at his face - and took back his earphones, Sam could hear something that sounded like a cello playing through the small speakers

Tucker got through maybe the first two syllables of the standard 'are you okay?’ when he was abruptly cut off by a mildly lisping giggle.

Wes stood half through the doorway, phone out and trained on Danny’s previously unstable form. He looked a little pale and seemed to be having trouble breathing but that didn’t stop a wide shit eating grin from stretching across his freckled cheeks.

“Gotcha.” he sneered before turning on his heel and fleeing in unbridled glee.

Sam had recovered quickly from her previous run, she was on him like the Box Ghost on a roll of bubble wrap. Tucker heard the pounding of two sets of feet followed by a loud THUD, a squeal, and then what sounded suspiciously like a phone being heavily stomped on by a very firmly placed boot. The groaning came after that, punctuated with some extremely foul language that may have been spluttered through a bleeding nose and/or lip.

Sam came back into the room with a crushed phone in one hand and bloody knuckles on the other. She wasn’t dicking around, not today.

“You okay Danny?” she asked, getting only a tired glare in response. “Sorry, standard question.”

Sam picked up Danny’s backpack and put her hand out for him to take, he grasped it gratefully and she pulled him up from his chair as Tucker wound an arm around his waist. With the support of the two actual greatest people in the whole damn world, Danny walked out of the school and into the parking lot where an exasperated principal Ishiyama was counting heads and calling names.

“Equal Rites! What were you three still doing inside? Get into your- Mr Fenton are you alright?” Mr Lancer’s angry stride softened into a quick jog, concern weaving it’s way through his face at the sight of Danny’s red eyes and wet cheeks.

“He uh, had a head on collision with Wes on our way out.” said Sam, like a liar. “Took a corner too fast and copped a hit to the nose so his eyes got all teary, but he’s okay.”

“Wes might need a little help though.” Tucker added on. “We offered but he’s pretty much convinced we just rammed him on purpose and he threatened to tell everyone we beat him up sooo we kinda just left him on the floor.”

Lancer rubbed at his brow, exasperated. He did NOT have the time for Wes shenanigans. He took a quick look at Danny’s face, checking for any bleeding, satisfied when he could find none he sent the three on their way to get their names marked off before he headed back to the school building to find Wes.

“Thanks.” Danny squeezed Sam and Tucker tenderly, never wanting to let them go. He was so glad they were here, he was so glad they were alive.

“Sleepover at my place tonight.” Tucker declared. “No exceptions, there’s gonna be cuddle piles and maybe a pillow fort, but definitely lots of these.” he gave Danny a big ol’ smooch on the forehead and pulled him in for a tight hug. “You’re gonna be fine man, you’ll be okay.”

Sam jumped on and threw her arms around both her boys, pressing her lips against Danny’s cheek.

“We’re not going anywhere, okay? We’re gonna sleep right beside you and tell those fucking nightmares to fuck right off, just like last time.” Sam gave him a hearty thump on the back that might have knocked over a regular human, but Danny barely shifted.

What in Ring and Crown’s name did he ever do to deserve these two.

That night after a coma inducing amount of junk food and soft drink Danny passed out smushed between Sam and Tuck in what was pretty much the most affectionate and down right adorable Danny Sandwich either of them had ever made.

He dreamed of the three of them beating the shit out of Dan with Fenton Anti-Creep Sticks. He hadn’t slept so well in years.

Heartbreak Insurance

Words: 10.9k
Genre: FLUFF.

Read more at Service Series

Cr.

Ring Ri-

He bursts into a bright huge grin, despite not being seen. “Thank you for calling Heartbreak Insurance. My name is Jimin! How may I help you today?”

There’s a long silence over the phone until there’s a slight sniffle and the woman on the other line explodes into a hysterical sob. “HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHH…nnn..nnn-” It’s a type of uncontrollable bawling howl that makes your snot drip inside your mouth .

“I’ll connect you to our customer services~ Please don’t hang up the line. One moment please!” Jimin moves the phone handset into his other hand while he presses some buttons, successfully transferring her over a second later.


The average person falls in love 4 to 7 times before marriage and 40% to 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 85% of all relationships end with a breakup. Don’t just be a statistic!

At Heartbreak Insurance, we are committed to be there when you need it most. Affordable and comprehensible solutions to meet your needs today! With our Heartbreak Insurance, you can find a plan that fits your needs. We cover and care for you in your most vulnerable times, offering paid time off, therapy sessions and care packages.

Because heartbreak is pain too.


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Limbo (Derek/Stiles)

frostniskare “I bet I can make you scream my name.” Sterek

This is your fic prize for winning second place in my birthday giveaway! I really hope you enjoy where the muse took the prompt, as I’m sure it’s not in the direction you had in mind. Hopefully, you’ll like it anyway! For those who read my “Just Like Me” series, this fic could be considered a prequel in that verse. However, you do not need to have read that series to enjoy this! Fic #42 in my 2017 Prompt Challenge

 Limbo. Derek/Stiles. Teen. Also on AO3.

Stiles and his team are on an undercover stakeout that’s not going too well. Derek’s using his powers for good, but Stiles knows it’s not the right moment for their relationship to change. 

“I bet I can make you scream my name.” The words are accompanied by the thick stench of whiskey and good old-fashioned bad breath.

“Yeah, see, I’m not really feeling it so I’m gonna have to decline that bet.” Stiles scans the club looking for the potential suspect, trying to ignore the old pervert attempting to pick him up. He’s not interested, and he made it clear, so the guy should leave soon.

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anonymous asked:

Sophie, I really want to know why you are so diligent about A. Lot. Of. Stuff. But mostly lately why you're so diligent on Camila being gay gay gay. I understand someone wanting someone to be something, and I csnt understand if you're just being playful and witty sometimes or if you really are 100% in your notions. How are you really going to ignore the fact that she does use male pronouns and says Boys, Boys, BOYS.. and you're just always going to think shes lying or making it up? Bi/Pans.

I don’t think you know what the word “diligent” means sweets but anyways I think you mean why am I so set on Camila being gay?

Okay first of all you can’t deny the fact that Camila has been completely inconsistent in her stories - first she didn’t have her first kiss but turned out she did, then she’s never been in a serious relationship but the album is about someone she’s obviously been very serious with, but then again it’s not about boys, so it’s supposed to be about her journey, and yet she keeps bringing up this “relationship” and this “someone” she saw at the studio and thought about while shooting the music video - then the whole album is a concept to tell a story, a story she said she doesn’t have anything more to say about, that she got everything out of her, and yet there she is a couple of days later saying that the album isn’t finished and that she needs a boyfriend to finish it! You add to that the fact that she didn’t sing the “her” during her BBMAS performance, because someone certainly told her not to - I’m not saying Camila is lying because I absolutely want her to be gay, I’m saying she’s lying because I really think she is!  After all these years it’s pretty easy to detect Camila’s bullshit and the management’s plans behind them!

As to me being so set on her being a “lesbian” and not “bi” or “pan” I’m usually just joking around, because non of us know for sure except Camila, she’s the only one who gets to decide what she is and if she even wants to label herself - so when I pull out my Gaymila file or slide it’s usually because there is a gay behavior there and tbh it’s hilarious how many there are!  But nevertheless , my personal opinion, my guess, my theory, that I keep strictly to this blog, is that Camila is a lesbian, just like others are gonna think she’s straight, or bi, or pan, or something else, this is all supposition - if tomorrow Camila identifies herself clearly as one of these sexualities then I won’t love her any less - I won’t lie, if tomorrow she gets a real boyfriend, not a pr stunt, I’ll be disappointed for sure but it won’t be the end of the world, I love her too much to get hung up on that.

That being said, as long as I don’t see her actually in a straight relationship, I’ll keep believing that she’s gay and is forced to stay in closet because of the industry she’s evolving in, which is something that highly pisses me off and worries me.

I’ll add to that I have the right to have a settle opinion and believe what I believe as long as I’m respectful to Camila and to other people’s beliefs - you’ll never see me say to an anon that they’re wrong for believing that Camila might be straight or bi or pan, I just respectfully agree to disagree or use a Camren laughing gif, because I like them and they bring a nice effect! (also I truly find it funny to even imagine Camila with a guy, I can’t help it, it’s just the way my brain works - just like I find mascots falling hilarious, I find straight Camila hilarious as well)

You know I once answered to an anon who thought all the Camren theories were absurd, that you should just take this whole thing as a giant fanfic that feeds off real events, and in my fanfic Camila happens to be gay - I’ll never bring that fanfic into the real world because I’ll never directly bother the girls with it, and as long as I do that, I see no reason for me not to be as delusional as I want to, and believe Camila is as gay as it comes.

bad | 03

 he was the cliché bad boy. he was the guy you couldn’t stand. he was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. he was a brat. you had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by sugutie

TITLE: bad | 03

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader

GENRE: romance, smutish, fluff

WORDS: 2 856

WARNINGS: badboy!jungkook, cussing, mature

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07coming soon ↠ 

A/N: I enjoy writing this, so the fact that you guys like it makes me so happy. thank you to everyone who sent a nice message, it means so much

masterlist

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Seventeen going to Dino’s Birthday Party: A Dino Birthday Special

Episode 11: Where Seventeen tries to plan and prepare for Dino’s birthday by splitting up into their units to get things done.

A/N: I may or not have been trying to stall time to have this special posted as the 11th episode cause you know 11 feb is chan’s birthday haha okay im sorry my brain stopped functioning and it this special somehow ended up being episode eleven… 


Jeonghan: “Okay children we need to do something special for my baby! He’s finally turning 5!”

Scoups:

Scoups: “Um Chan’s gonna be 18 what are you talking about?”

Jeonghan: “We need FIVE candles for his cake, we need FIVE presents, we need FIVE balloons, we need to buy five of everything because he is FIVEEEE!!!”

Joshua: “I love you Jeonghan but I think you have problems with facing the fact that Dino is growing up…”

Jeonghan:

Hoshi: “I think it’s time to let go of that fact that he isn’t 5 years old anymore”

Vernon: “The last time I checked… Chan hasn’t been 5 years old in let’s see… about THIRTEEN YEARS?!?!”

Jeonghan: “My baby is FIVEEEE!!!”

Seungkwan: “This is absurd, you guys didn’t do anything for my birthday… this is unfair! WHAT IS THIS INJUSTICE?!”

Seungkwan: “I TURNED 18 BEFORE THAT CHILD DID”

Jeonghan: “HE IS A BABY NOT A CHILD”

The8: “Your birthday passed?”

Jun: “I thought Seungkwan’s birthday’s in December”

Woozi: “No that’s Joshua’s birthday”

Jun: “Then when’s Seungkwan’s birthday?”

Seungkwan: “F-”

Joshua: “February?”

Vernon: “No cursing on Dino’s birthday it’s bad luck for the birthday boy”

Jeonghan: “You mean birthday baby”

Seungkwan: “Who cares?!?!?! It’s Dino that’ll have bad luck NOT ME and my birthday for your information is in January!”

Woozi: “No one asked for when your birthday was”

Seungkwan: “UGH fine and anyway Vernon you curse all the time…”

Vernon: “Gangsta-sol rests on birthdays, on birthdays I sing happy songs and give presents”

Joshua: “That sounds more like Santa Claus”

Jeonghan: “Okay attention to the less beautiful human beings, please gather before me”

Wonwoo: “Is hyung the birthday party planner?”

Jun: “Yeah he thinks no one can do a better job than he can…”

Jeonghan: “Okay so we are going to split up into our units to split the tasks, the hip hop unit will be going to buy the cake and present, the vocal unit will be decorating the house and the performance unit will be stalling time and making sure that Dino doesn’t come home”

Mingyu: “Why do we have to do the errands? You always give us the tougher ones…” *pouts*

Jeonghan: “Because Dino is my baby and Jeonghan the Angel says so!”

Mingyu: “Wha-”

Jeonghan: “and also because my hair is superior”

Scoups: “Don’t fight with Jeonghan, you’ll never win if he brings his hair into the fight”

Mingyu:

Mingyu: “Fine but we are stopping by KFC before we come home”

Scoups: “Okay deal”

Mingyu: “and also the famous bakery”

Scoups: “Alright, we have to get Chan’s birthday cake anyways”

Mingyu: “and the candy store!”

Scoups: “I guess we can get Chan some candy for his birthday right?”

Mingyu: “AND AND AND the pancake and waffles cafe!!”

Wonwoo: “Um Mingyu I think you are getting too carried away…”

Scoups: “… It’s okay if we have a slight detour right?”

Mingyu: “AND POPCORN!”

Scoups:

Scoups: “Now you’re just being greedy”

Mingyu: “POPPPPCORNNNN!!!”

Jun: “Is this your birthday or Dino’s?”

Mingyu: “Mine”

Seungkwan: “You mean mine since y’all never even bothered to celebrate mine?!?!”

Mingyu: “NO it’s MAH birthday since I’m gonna get some cake!”

Seungkwan: “BACK OFF MINGYU ITS MY BIRTHDAY”

Mingyu: “OH YEAH? WE’LL SEE WHO GETS TO BLOW OUT THE CANDLESSSS!!!”

Jeonghan: “SHUT UP ITS MY BABY’S BIRTHDAY! DON’T YOU BOTH DARE RUIN THIS FOR HIM OR ELSE I WILL SKIN YOU TWO ALIVE AND SELL YOUR SKINS AND USE IT AS MY CARPET!”


*on the way to the toy shop with the hip hop unit*

Mingyu: “I hate Seungkwan… he’s trying to steal my birthday…”

Scoups: “Okay ONE, your birthday is in April. TWO, it’s neither yours nor Seungkwan’s birthday, it’s DINO’s. THREE, we are already going to all the places you want to go so plea-“

Mingyu: “OHHH CAKE!” *runs to the bakery’s display window”

Scoups: “annnnddd I guess we’ll be buying Chan’s birthday cake first then” *sighs*

Mingyu: “CAN I EAT IT?”

Vernon: “No, it’s just for display, it’s not even real, it’s just made out of styr-“

Mingyu: *opens mouth*

Vernon: “Mingyu you can’t eat Styrofoam!”

Mingyu: “IT’S CAKE I’M GONNA EAT IT!”

Vernon: “IT’S NOT!” *attempts to take the display cake away*

Mingyu: “GET YOUR OWN CAKE VERNON THIS IS MINEEEEE!!!”

Vernon: “I DON’T WANT YOUR DUMB ASS CAKE I’M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE MAN!”

Mingyu: “IF YOU WANT TO SAVE ME THEN YOU SHOULD LET ME EAT THIS CAKE SO I WON’T DIE OF STRAVATION!”

Mingyu: *takes a bite*

Vernon: “Oh my god”

Mingyu: *chokes and collapses*

Wonwoo: “MINGYU!”

Scoups: “I knew this was going to happen someday”

Wonwoo: “Someone save Mingyu!!”

Vernon: “Okay hang on, let me google how to save someone who is choking on styrofoam”

Wonwoo: “Are you serious with me now?”

Vernon: “Why am I not getting any reception?!?!” *hits phone*

Mingyu: *coughs out white foam*

Wonwoo: “COUPS HYUNG!!!”

Scoups: “Hold on, hold on, I’m buying Dino’s cake, if I don’t buy it Jeonghan will either nag at me every single day until my ear bleeds and I die because of excessive bleeding or he will just take a knife and stab me until I die. And just between you and me, I think I rather have the latter”

Wonwoo: “But if you don’t do something now, MINGYU’S GONNA DIEEEE”

Scoups: “YEAH YEAH GIVE ME A MOMENT WONWOO”

Mingyu: *CHOKEESSSS*

Wonwoo: “AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT MINGYU?”

Mingyu: *nods head*

Vernon: “okay for once google was useless”

Wonwoo: “HELLO IS THIS THE HOSPITAL MY FRIEND IS CHOKING ON STYROFOAM CAN YOU- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IT ISN’T AN EMERGENCY? HELLO? HELLO??? THIS IS AN EMERGENCY DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON MY CALL???!!!”

Mingyu: “W-won-woo”

Wonwoo: “Yes Mingyu?” *crying*

Mingyu: “I-I don’t think… I’m going to make it…” *chokes*

Wonwoo: “Don’t say that! You’re gonna live! I won’t let you dieeee!”

Mingyu: “Wonwoo…. If I die…”

Wonwoo: “Yes?” *cries harder*

Mingyu: “Please bring lots of food to my funeral”

Wonwoo: “Anything for you Mingyu, I’m sorry you had to leave this way…” *hugs gyu tightly on the floor*

Mingyu: *closes eyes*

Wonwoo: “NO MINGYU OMG DON’T DIE ON ME! THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS THAT I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME!”

Mingyu: “G-go-goodbye Wonwoo….”

Wonwoo: “I can’t believe… he’s…. gone….” *SOBS*

Scoups: “Oh look, they sell donuts here too”

Mingyu: *gets up* “WHERE?!?!”

Scoups: “Just joking, alright boys let’s go”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “B-but I came back from the dead for donuts….”

Vernon: “They said to wait for the person to cough first and if the person’s nails and lips starts to turn blue then you can stand behind the person and put your arms around his waist and make a fist with your hand and place it above his navel and then- “

Scoups: “He’s not choking anymore Hansol…”

Vernon: “Oh”

Wonwoo: “My life is a lie”


*meanwhile at the dorm with the vocal unit*

Jeonghan: “I’m going to blow up the balloons, Joshua and Woozi, you two will hang up the banner and posters, DK and Seungkwan can you set up the Karaoke set and games?”

Joshua: *grabs banner from the floor*

Joshua: “Woozi can you stop lying on the sofa and help me with this banner?”

Woozi: “Sure”

Joshua:

Joshua: “I’m waiting for you Woozi….”

Woozi: “Yeah continue to wait then”

Joshua: “Woozi I can’t hang this banner up alone!”

Woozi: “I’ll come help you as soon as Jeonghan cuts his hair”

Joshua:

Joshua: “That’s never happening…”

Woozi: “And so is me helping you hang that banner” *smiles*

Woozi: “I’m very glad we had this talk Joshua” *pats Joshua on the back and walks into bedroom*

Joshua: “Well first he forgets about my existence in the vocal unit and now this”

DK: “What games did Jeonghan hyung write down?”

Seungkwan: “According to this list…. We’re gonna play… hide and seek, musical chairs… and pin the tail on the donkey?”

DK: “What is this? A kid’s party?!”

Seungkwan: “DID YOU FORGET THAT HE THINKS DINO IS FIVE?”

DK:

DK: “In that case, that donkey better not be me”

Seungkwan: “That actually… doesn’t sound too bad” *evil plots*

DK: “Oh you know what? We should set up the Karaoke set first” *takes console out of the dusty box*

Seungkwan: “EW THE DUST”

DK: “It’s grosser than Mingyu’s snot bubbles”

Seungkwan:

DK: “Yeah you don’t want to know Kwan… you don’t want to know…”

Seungkwan: “Okay question”

Seungkwan: “Do I plug in the pink, blue or yellow plug into the TV?”

DK: “That’s a good question…. You know what? Let’s just try it all”

Seungkwan: *plugs the blue one in*

Seungkwan: “Nope not the blue one” *yanks it out*

Seungkwan: “Pink one?”

TV: *sparks up and makes hissing noises*

Seungkwan: “OKAY OKAY HOLY CRAP ITS NOT THE PINK ONE!!!” *unplugs pink one*

Joshua: “Hannie…. Can you get Woozi to do something? I still haven’t put up any posters”

Jeonghan: “Jihoon! Can you put up ONE poster please?”

Woozi: “No”

Jeonghan: “I see that you haven’t cleaned up your room since a week ago when I told you to, and also you haven’t been writing or composing any songs what have you been doing in your room? It’s becoming a pig sty, oh god have you been eating pizza in this room?! I told you to clean it up-“

Woozi: “Okay! Okay! what do you want me to do?!”

Jeonghan: “Help Joshie with the posters”

Woozi: *sighs*

DK: “ALL DONE”

Seungkwan: “LETS SEE IF ITS WORKING PROPERLY THEN” *switches it on*

DK: “Won’t Jeonghan scream at us?”

Seungkwan: “Oopsy too late” *clicks song*

*song starts*

DK: “PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME UP!”

Seungkwan: “I WANT YOU TO PICK ME UP!”

DK: “PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME”

Seungkwan: *dances to Pick Me*

DK: “I WANT YOU TO PICK ME-”

Seungkwan: *lets go of microphone and hits the TV screen*

DK:

Seungkwan: “oops”

DK: “Omg you broke the TV Seungkwan BOO”

Seungkwan: “I said sorry!”

DK: “NO you said oops”

Seungkwan: “Well oops means sorry!”

DK: *pushes kwan*

DK: “oops”

Seungkwan: “DID YOU JUST PUSH ME?”

DK: “I said oops which means sorry”

Seungkwan: *pushes seokmin making him knock over a glass over water and spilling it onto the karaoke console*

DK: “They are gonna freak out, both the karaoke console and the TV are fried”

Seungkwan: “Well it’s not our fault… it’s Jeonghan’s for putting two irresponsible kids to such difficult tasks”

DK: “Now the problem is… how and where shall we hide this?”

DK & Seungkwan: *looks at each other 

DK & Seungkwan: *quietly turns the tv off and puts everything into the store room*

Joshua: O.O

Joshua: “What the heck is that?!”

Woozi: “A dinosaur poster with Michael Jackson’s head on the Dinosaur’s body, I call it Michael Roarson”

Jeonghan: “Genius”

Woozi: “Dino likes Michael Jackson and he likes dinosaurs, so why not combine it into one and it’ll be the best poster of the century!”

Jeonghan: “You’re gonna give the child nightmares”

Woozi: “Yes! It’ll finally scare him enough so he’ll stop talking about Michael Jackson and I can sell them away and make tons of money, now step two of my plan is to find out where Chan keeps his limited edition MJ items”

Jeonghan: “Did you say something Jihoon?”


*meanwhile with the performance unit*

Dino: “Where have you guys been???”

Jun: “Walking?”

Dino: “You three said you wanted to watch this movie and told me to go buy it at 8 in the morning and which by the way only opens at 10am, I waited 2 hours just to get the ticket and another 2 hours for you all to walk HERE!!”

Hoshi: “Sorry Chan, we were busy listening to Jeongh-“

The8: *elbows hoshi*

Hoshi: “I mean listening to Jeonghan talk about his hair” *awkward laughs*

The8: “How about we treat to popcorn and snacks”

Hoshi: “You know since its your b-“

The8: *steps of hoshi’s feet*

Dino: “My what?”

Hoshi: “Owwieee Minghao!”

The8: “Sorry I thought I saw a bug and I wanted to kill it”

Dino: “Hyungs… you are acting weirdly…”

Jun: “My boy, when have you not seen us act normally?”

Dino: “You have a point there”

The8: “Dinosaur gummies for Chan!” *hands him a packet*

Dino: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS BETTER, THAT IT’S GUMMIES OR THAT IT’S SHAPED LIKE DINOSAURS” *hugs packet*

Hoshi: “Can I have one?”

Dino: “NO”

Hoshi: “Selfish brat I bought that for you! Do you think you’re the king just because its your bir-“

The8: *pours his cup of coke onto hoshi*

Hoshi: “AHHHHHHH IT’SSS COLLDDDDD”

The8: “Oops it just slipped out of my hands”

Hoshi: “Onto my head?!?!”

The8: “Yeah”

Jun: “Okay Chan let’s just leave the two weirdos out here and let’s go watch the movie, if anyone asks you, you don’t know them”

Dino: *nods head like a lil’ child*

*in the theatre*

Jun: “Do you feel cold chan?”

Dino: “Yes” *pouts as he chews on his gummies*

Jun: “Okay you can use my jacket” #mama jun mode on

Hoshi: “I’m cold too! Why isn’t anyone asking me if I’m cold?”

The8: “Because no one cares”

Hoshi: “UGH it’s not like you care about chan either, you’re just giving him special attention today because it’s his damn birt-“

The8: *whacks hoshi with his chocolate bar*

Hoshi: “OW MINGHAO!”

The8: “I can do this all day hyung”

Hoshi: “I miss Woozi…” *sobs*


*halfway through the movie

Dino: “Stop pushing me hyung!”

Hoshi: “Hush it child”

Dino: “Why are we going back to the dorm? We didn’t even get to finish watching the movie!”

Dino: *opens door*

Seventeen: “SURPRISEEE!!!”

Dino: *jumps in shock*

Dino: “I can’t believe you did all of this for me! A dinosaur cake oh my god, dinosaur balloons…is… is… is that a dinosaur poster with a michael jackson face on top of its body?!”

Jeonghan: “Erm… *looks at poster* … yes?”

Dino:

Woozi: “I did it, you better be happy”

Dino:

Dino: “I l-love it” *fake smiles*

Mingyu: *chokes and coughs out white styrofoam*

Dino: “Is…. Mingyu okay?”

Wonwoo: “Don’t ask Chan, some things are better left unknown”

Scoups: “I got you your cake do you like it?”

Dino: “YES it’s a giant dinosaur! Can I eat his head please?”

Joshua: “Hello Chan please look at the banner that I put up ALL BY MYSELF”

Woozi: “Joshua can you stop yelling, I’m just next to you. I’m not deaf”

Dino: “It says Happy birthday chan you’re finally…. five?”

Joshua: “Jeonghan thinks you’re five years old”

Dino: “Of course he does”

Jeonghan: “NUGU AEGI?”

Dino: “Not this again… hyung do I really have to?”

Jeonghan: “Yes”

Dino: “J-Jeonghan’s aegi” *mentally stabs self*

Jeonghan: “TIME TO SING YOU YOUR BIRTHDAY SONG!”

Seventeen: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DINO”

Jeonghan: “YOU MEAN BABY DINO DID YOU EVEN READ THE LYRICS I SENT YOU ALL?!?!?!”

Jun: “Frankly no”

Seventeen: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU” *claps hands*

Mingyu: *blows out the candles*

Jeonghan: “Seriously Mingyu what did I tell you?”

Seungkwan: “NOT FAIR YOU GUYS DIDN’T CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY I SHOULD BE THE ONES BLOWING OUT THE CANDLES WHY DOES MINGYU GET TO???”

Mingyu: “Because it’s my birthday!”

Seungkwan: “OH you really want to do this Kim Mingyu? Let’s see whose birthday it really is!”

Seungkwan: *cuts the cake and bites it*

Mingyu: *gasps*

Mingyu: “MY CAKE!”

Scoups: “YO DUDE THAT CAKE IS FOR CHAN!”

Dino: *cries*

Jun: “It’s okay Dino, it’s okay” *hugs the baby*

Mingyu: *runs up to poster with a marker and cancels chan’s name and writes his name instead*

Mingyu: “Now it says Happy birthday Mingyu you’re finally five!” *claps for self*

Seungkwan: *gasps*

Woozi: “I’m not the one who hung up the poster but I feel like I need to hit someone”

Seungkwan: *runs towards presents*

Mingyu: “Oh no I’m going to open them!”

Seungkwan: “Not if I get there first!”

Mingyu & Seungkwan: *starts ripping the wrapping paper*

Jeonghan: “WHAT THE HECK”

Mingyu & Seungkwan:

Jeonghan: “I TOLD YOU NOT TO RUIN HIS BIRTHDAY DIDN’T I?”

Mingyu: “But it’s my birthday”

Jeonghan: *grabs mingyu by the collar*

Jeonghan: “I will break everything that you love and care about”

Wonwoo: “Me?”

Jeonghan: “No, I’m going to break all the snacks he secretly hid in this dorm and throw them out of the window”

Mingyu: “NO NOT MY FOOD!!!”

Jeonghan: “THEN BEHAVE!!!”

Dino: “Oh well, it’s okay it was a fun birthday anyways, as long as we are together and not apart”

Joshua: “Awwww what an angel, you really are Jeonghan’s baby”

Vernon:

Joshua: “Y-you know ca-cause Jeonghan is an angel?”

Scoups: “I’m happy you had a good birthday Chan”

Dino: “I got to watch a movie with the performance unit hyungs, even though Hoshi and The8 kept fighting…”

Jeonghan: *glares*

Hoshi: “It was Minghao that hit me, stepped on me, poured his drink on me!”

The8: “That’s because Soonyoung kept mentioning Dino’s birthday!”

Hoshi: “What so you want me to lie???”

Dino: “And the hip hop unit hyungs bought me my favourite cake even though I haven’t tasted it…”

Jeonghan: *GLARES*

Seungkwan: “WHAT”

Vernon: “Now I’m fully equipped with the knowledge from google of how to save a person who is choking from styrofoam”

Wonwoo: “I wish you’re the one who is choking right now because no one would know how to save you”

Vernon: “What did I ever do to you?”

Wonwoo: “For not saving Mingyu”

Vernon: “I TOLD YOU ITS NOT ME! IT WAS THE RECEPTION OF MY PHONE!”

Joshua: “I still want to get rid of that phone so badly”

Dino: “And the vocal unit hyungs decorated the dorm so nicely… even if that Michael Jackson head is just pasted on the dinosaur’s body”

Hoshi: “Did my woozi do that? It’s a WORK OF ART!!! Can I keep it?”

Woozi: “I rather have Dino hate it and burn it then to let you keep it”

Seungkwan: “OKAY ITS TIME FOR GAMES! WE ARE PLAYING… PIN THE TAIL ON THE DOKYEOM!”

DK: “You mean Donkey”

Seungkwan: “No I mean Dokyeom”

DK: “Is that a real pin? With a sharp pointy tip? You can’t pin that on me!”

Seungkwan: *puts a blindfold on Chan*

DK: “What are you all just gonna watch?”

Dino: “Where is Dokyeom hyung? I can’t see” *swings arm around*

DK: *runs away*

Woozi: “Take three steps to your right, then five steps in front, he’s hiding in the corner of the house by the dining table”

Dino: *tries to pin it on Dokyeom*

DK: “AHHHHHHHH!!!! SOMEONE GET THIS CHILD AWAY FROM ME THIS IS A DANGEROUS GAME!”

Jeonghan: “YOU MEAN BABY HE IS A BABY EVERYONE GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT!”

Scoups: “Hold up…. Where’s our TV?”


phew that was a long one, I hoped you all enjoyed it :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE OH SO LIL’ ONE! :)

masterlist ✨

Read the previous episode: Seventeen going to a SHINee Concert

Riddle me this 2

Hitman!Luke + smut ;))

Words: 6.5k

What happens when you go after an old target, while keeping it a secret?

Originally posted by halfnakedhoran

One | Two | Three

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anonymous asked:

1,18,&19????

1. “Oh my God. You’re in love with her.”

a/n: whoop whoop some college shawn comin @ ya


“So, uh, what’s been going on with you and Y/n?” Brian asks Shawn from across the pingpong table. The boys were never ones to get deep or gush like girls, but after the way Shawn had been attached at the him to you lately, someone had to ask him about it. 

“Nothin’ man, she’s just really cool and funny.” Shawn brushes off, smacking the ball back to Brian, but missing the table completely. 

“Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, man.” Brian teases. 


Keep reading

Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of my dear followers! You guys are amazing and I love you all. <3 

Quick shout out to my girl @noenoemi for helping me find the cards. They do not belong to me and were found through Google.


Jonathan wasn’t the biggest fan of Valentine’s Day; though it had more to do with the fact that he rarely had anyone to celebrate with, than the idea of it being a made up holiday for stores to sell overpriced candy and cards to the unsuspecting public.

He dreaded the day, because it just reminded him how horribly lonely he was, and how his romantic life was virtually nil. It also emphasized how deeply in love he was with his best friend, with no hope for the future due to the fact that said best friend was straight, and completely unavailable.

Which is why, when he opened his locker on the tenth of February, he was extremely surprised to find a small red envelope sitting among his books.

Keep reading

No String Attached: Pt. 2

Pairing: Kol x Reader (Ft. Rebekah & Freya)

Warnings: Used a lot of gifs because why not.

Word Count: 1994

PART ONE | PART THREE


(Two Weeks Later…)

This whole joyride and no strings attached thing with Kol has been fun. But, something has happened that you never planned on letting happen ever. You’ve been thinking about it for a few days now, allowing yourself enough time to put some thought into it that you surprisingly started gaining feelings for Kol. You don’t know how it happened, but it just did. 

Seeing couples do romantic things made a part of you wish you had something like that with Kol. Even when you were at the beach with him, you noticed a girl check out his perfect abs and that made you a little jealous. You couldn’t allow these feelings to stay with you any longer so you insisted on putting this to an end by having a talk with him about it today.

You texted him to meet you at the Mystic Grill and that’s exactly what he did.

You sat at a booth and scrolled through your iPhone to kill time. Once Kol arrived, he scanned around until he finally saw you and sat across from you. “What do I owe the pleasure, darling?”

You set your phone down on the table and rested your elbows on the table. “Well let me just get straight to the point. This thing we have going on. I have to put it to an end.”

“And why’s that? Not that I mind. But I’m curious.” Kol furrowed his brows.

“I kind of want to start dating again.” You couldn’t face telling him how you really feel because you wanted to spare yourself the pain of hearing him say he doesn’t feel the same. Plus, you know that in time, your feelings for him will start to fade. So, you came up with that lie.

Kol stifled a laugh. “Dating? Funny. Last I heard, you wanted to be single for a long while.”

“Correct. But I, I’ve changed my mind Kol.” You leaned back, crossing your arms.

“I suppose.” Kol uttered. “Well, it was quite fun while it lasted.”

(The following day…)

Today you, Kol, Rebekah and Freya made plans to go clubbing because why not. You brought a change of clothes and your makeup so that you can get ready with the girls at their place.

After finishing on your makeup, you go to the bathroom to change into your outfit for tonight. Walking out, Kol appears, making you jump from surprise. “Dammit Kol!” You punched him in the chest, but that didn’t phase him whatsoever because original vampire strength and all.

Kol let out a laugh. “Frightened much?” He gave you an elevator look as you were walking down the hall. “Hey hey!” He hurried to stop you.

“What?” You questioned him.

“What in the devil are you wearing?” He gave you a disgusted look, but you continued to walk back to the room that Rebekah and Freya are in.

“Um clubbing attire?” You looked at Rebekah, hoping she would back you up.

“More like slutty attire.” Kol blurted as he was walking around the room confidently. He wasn’t a fan of your outfit at all, but you didn’t care.

“Oh shut it, Kol.” Rebekah said half-aloud, shooting a stank eye at Kol, then gave you a wink.

“If it was Elijah that made a remark about my outfit, that makes sense. But Kol Mikaelson out of all people?” You stated while you sat on the edge of the bed to put on your heels.

“Seeing that you’re neither Elijah, nor her boyfriend. You can keep your mouth shut.” Freya added as she was putting on her lipstick.

“Whatever. No matter. I’ll be downstairs.” Kol snarled then went on his way.

“That was-” You said, then Freya finished for you. “Uncomfortable.”

“Just give Kol a blood bag and he’ll be back to being dandy.” Rebekah stated.

(15 minutes later…)

The four of you took a cab to the club so that you all can drink and have a good time.

Arriving there, the music was bumpin and it was pretty packed. But not to the point where people are shoulder to shoulder just yet.

Thankfully, Kol was in a better mood which made everyone feel at ease because nobody likes a Debbie downer.

The first thing that the four of you did was go to the bar and ordered a round of shots that Kol paid for.

“Alright. I’m ready for another!” You had a long week of work so you needed it. Plus, the thought of having to cut yourself off from having sex for a long while was a little saddening.

“I’ll pass on this one. I’m going to use the loo.” Kol said in a loud tone because of the loud music. Before going to the bathroom, he bent down to your ear. “Here’s my card.” Kol pulled his card out, handing it to you. “Order whatever you like.”

“Um okay? Are you sure?” You questioned Kol. What’s it to him right now? He must’ve felt bad for talking down on you about your outfit, so this could be his way of apologizing. Instead of Kol answering your question, he left to the bathroom.

“Y/N! Here! Here!” Freya nudged at your arm to get your attention, handing you your shot. Everything was happening so fast left and right.

“Cheers!” Rebekah shouted excitedly.

“To us!” You added as you raised your shot glass. The three of you tapped your glasses and chugged your shot, letting the dark liquor shoot down your throat. Afterwards, you all slammed the shot glasses on the bar counter.

“Come on. Let’s go dance guys.” Freya grabbed Rebekah’s hand, then reached hers out for you to grab hers but you declined.

“I’ll wait here for Kol to get back, then we’ll meet back up with you guys.”

Rebekah shrugged her shoulders, then her and Freya danced their way to the dance floor. Seeing how eager they were to have fun made you smile. You called for the bartender to order yourself a mixed drink with Kol’s card.

Your drink is in hand and all paid for. Kol finally arrives back from the bathroom. “Took you long enough. We’re you going number 2 or something?” You teased.

“You’re a funny one, aren’t you.” Kol grinned and  leaned over to sip out of the straw, chugging almost half of your drink. You look at him with wide eyes and he pulls back. “Ah.”

“That’s my favorite song!” You squealed, then grabbed Kol’s hand and rushed over to the dance floor to find his sisters so that you all can dance together.

The club got a little more packed compared to when you first arrived which made it even harder to find them. But to the hell with it. You didn’t want to miss out dancing to your favorite song, plus you were buzzing so you stuck with just Kol for now. He’s not a high maintenance person when it comes to a night out, so he was always down to do whatever.

You were feeling yourself as you were dancing to the song with Kol. He gazed at you, but you were too caught up in the moment to notice. Then, as you were swaying your hips to the rhythm, he thought it was appropriate to brush his hands along your waist. 

You were puzzled as to why Kol was getting all touchy-feely since you just recently had a talk with him about not messing around anymore. Maybe the alcohol was getting to him, but you couldn’t help by allow him to. And god damn, the alcohol was definitely getting to you though because you were so tempted to lock lips with him.

Your arms were now sloppily around his neck as the two of you danced together, faces also started getting closer, but once the song changed, you quickly snapped out of it. That’s also when you finally spotted Rebekah and Freya. You can see their heads peaking up trying to look for you and Kol. “Hey!” You called out. Thankfully you caught their attention and they scurried over.

“Oh thank heavens. We were looking for you two!” Rebekah blurted. It was obvious she was a little drunk. Same with Freya, because you could see a drunk looking smirk on her face. All you could think about right now is how annoyed Klaus is going to be when Rebekah and Freya’s drunkasses make a ruckus at home, which is quite hilarious actually.

“Same, sister.” Kol smiled as he shook his head at his drunk sisters.

You were already feeling good and figured you deserved another drink. “I’ll be back guys. I’m gonna go buy a drink.” You said.

“Let me go with you!” Freya started walking towards the bar, but you stopped her before she could pass you.

“Um I don’t think so.” You laughed at how she couldn’t even walk a straight line. “I think you’ve had enough, Freya.” You definitely get your tolerance from your dad because you’re not even close to being drunk yet. She didn’t take it personal, so she stayed behind with her siblings.

The bar area was pretty packed now, so you waited your turn for the bartender to ask for your drink. While you’re waiting, you can see a man just a few feet from you shooting you a look from the corner of your eye. He couldn’t have been more discreet about it. “Hey beautiful.” He said to you, revealing a grin.

“Oh hey there.” You responded with a sweet smile. The stranger definitely was good looking, you couldn’t lie to yourself about that.

“I’m Darrell. What’s your name?” He puts his hand out to shake yours.

“Y/N.” You shook Darrell’s hand.

“How about I buy you a drink Y/N.”

“Uh sure. Thanks.” No harm, no foul. It’s not like you’re planning on going home with the guy. So if you wanted to flirt, you’re going to flirt. Plus, you even noticed a couple of girls here and there check out Kol.

You and Darrell we’re only having small talk, but right before he hands you the drink he bought you, Kol comes from out of the blue. “That won’t be necessary.”

You grimaced. “Kol, what are you-” 

“Oh shit. I’m sorry, I didn’t know you have a boyfriend.” Darrell apologizes.

You let out a fake laugh. “I don’t actually.”

“Tell me, who is this wanker?” Kol mean mugs the hell out of Darrell, making him feel extremely awkward.

“Here. Just take it. It’s no problem.” Darrell attempts to hand you your drink, but Kol blocks the way with his body, standing right between you two.

“Why don’t you sod off.” Kol said, compelling him. Darrell willingly walked away, leaving with both drinks.

“What the hell was that?” You grabbed Kol’s forearm to turn his view to you.

“It’s best you don’t know.” Kol responded without looking you in the eye while he walked towards the front door instead of to his sisters. They were too caught up in dancing they didn’t seem to care where their brother decided to wander off to.

“Is he like a vampire or something, buying me a drink in an attempt to kidnap me?” You scowled at Kol and of course, he ignored you. He even walked out the door without holding it open for you. 

Once you reached outside, he was no where in sight. You figured he vampire sped to get away from you. Very mature. 

Kol owes you answers for basically ruining your night because you weren’t even able to dance the night away with Rebekah and Freya like you planned in your head.

Your mind was telling you to go back inside and let him be so that you can have fun, but you know it’ll just end up consuming you throughout the night. So instead, you called a cab to take you back to the Mikaelson compound, where you know Kol left off to.


TAGS: @noisyinfluencerstrawberry @mikealsonlover @belalugosisdead @allison-rosewood-maximoff @lauren-novak @i-just-feel-gr3at

SugarDaddy!Cal Pt. 4

nA/N: Hey, lovebugs! I just wanna thank you all for the feedback and hope you enjoy part four. Remember, 100 notes for the next chapter and make sure you drop feedback in my inbox. This ones a bit longer since some requested for it to be, so i hope you guys like it.

**Warning**: Smut(a blowjob to be specific)


Parts: One/ Two/ Three/ Four/Five/Six/Seven/Eight/
Nine/Ten/Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen/Fourteen/Fifteen


“No, you didn’t!”  Connor yelled as you told him about the details of your day. Felix on the other hand was laughing so hard he turned red and was curled up on the floor.

“What’s so funny?” You laughed along with them, taking a sip of Felix’s famous martinis. Living next door to a bartender that also happened to be your close friend pays off.

“You made him cum his pants on the third date, how lovely.” Felix laughed.“ I’m just surprised you’re even going through with this whole ordeal.”

“I am too. I don’t know what happened today, I felt so…” you trailed as you tried to find the right words to describe what you felt in that moment.

“Dominant and sexy?” Connor smirked as he took a sip of his own drink.

“Yeah…”

“Trust me, I know. I’ve loved the feeling from the first time and still do four years later.”

This caused you to widen your eyes in shock as Felix’s face flushed red. You shifted your eyes from him to Connor who still held a smug look on his face and back to Felix once again.

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Dating Poe Dameron Would Include
  • Fun Boyfriend™
  • Seriously, you could swear you’ve developed a fine set of abs since you started dating, he makes you laugh so much!
  •  Always making you laugh before he flies out for a mission. Even though he’s a very competent flier, you both know how dangerous his tasks can be. He doesn’t want his last memory with you to be with you crying, and you don’t want your last memory with him to be of him looking like he’s not secretly distraught.
    • So he makes you laugh, you smile for him. It’s gotten to the point where he says your laugh is his lucky charm

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