not going to graduate

The Car Crash

Originally posted by imaginesbts

Characters: Jungkook x Reader/ Taehyung x Reader

Summary: Jungkook knew it was wrong to be with you. He knew that the moment you and him become anything more than friends everything would shatter. It was a love, an infatuation that was meant to be one sided. After all, you were his brother’s girlfriend. And he couldn’t dare to break that up.

Length: 7245 words

Genre: Angst/ Fluff


-July 22, 2012 [11 pm] -

Jungkook and his brother, Taehyung, were going to Hongdae for a friends graduation party. Their friend had invited them last minute and they both decided to go since they had nothing better to do. Plus, Jungkook knew you would be there.

When they walked into the club, it smelled like sweat and booze. It was an aroma that hit him instantly. As Jungkook followed Taehyung across the bar, he bumped into people. It was completely crowded but he tried to focus on his brothers bright shirt. They finally made their way up the stairs, toward a private booth where their friends were.

He saw that you were standing around because there weren’t any more seats left. Jungkook chuckled at his best friend’s awkward stance.

Suddenly you locked eyes with him. “Jungkoooook! Yay you’re here!” you yelled over the loud music that was playing. Jungkook smiled at you. He was surprised and curious as to why you were so happy to see him. But he didn’t question it because it made him happy. Especially since he had been in love with you for a while now.

“Hello Y/N” he grinned mischievously.

You rolled your eyes at his attempt to be flirty “Ew Jungkook,” you stated. While those words left your mouth, part of you couldn’t ignore that being flirty suited him. His white shirt and black jeans echoed a bad boy image. His piercing brown eyes also made you melt. You definitely noticed those things about your best friend. But at the same time you knew him for too long to put much thought into his attributes. Afterall, sometimes he was still the kid who would steal your gum and put it on your clothes when you weren’t looking. You chuckled at the memory of you running after him in frustration when you were younger.

-

After a couple of shots Jungkook was beginning to feel loose. His body moved on its own but he was still able to function. He walked over to the dance floor when he suddenly spotted you in the middle. His eyes lit up when he saw you were laughing and dancing to the music. He made his way past the sweaty bodies and tried to grab your attention. Those extra drinks made him feel more confident so he began dancing near you.

You noticed that Jungkook was being more touchy than normal. At first you were trying to ask him if he was drunk, but he kept shaking his head that he wasn’t. So you continued dancing because afterall it was a club. When the song was about to end Jungkook turned to face you and whispered in your ear.

“Hey can you come out with me? I need to tell you something,” he said stuttering his words a bit. Even though he had said he wasn’t drunk, you were beginning to think those shots were kicking in. You looked at him for a second trying to examine his expression but you couldn’t make out if he was serious or not.

“Okay,” you agreed. You weren’t sure what he wanted to talk to you about but you decided anything would be better than the thick air of the dance floor.

As you were making your way toward the door, you were both stopped by Taehyung. He was clearly tipsy. “Brooo lets do some shots cmon…it’s on me,” he stuttered. You were shaking your head that you didn’t want to drink, but Jungkook grabbed your arm and led you to their friends who were all doing shots. Everyone was gathered around the table talking loudly and laughing.  

“I got two more people!” Taehyung cheered lifting his cup of beer. Everyone cheered in response. As you made your way to the booth, there wasn’t enough space so you and Jungkook were squished together. You could feel his thigh touching yours. And for some reason you weren’t mad.

Your classmate Jimin began explaining the rules of the game. It was basically similar to Truth or Dare. The cards with even numbers were dares and odd numbers were truths. If you didn’t answer truthfully to a question then you had to do the dare. If you didn’t do the dare then you had to go around the table and take everyone’s shots.

As the game progressed, Jungkook’s turn soon came. He flipped an odd number. Yoongi, one of Jungkook’s closest friends from school, asked the question.

In the dark light, you saw Yoongi smiling mischievously. “Alright my dear friend Jungkook. Is it true that you like Y/N?” he blurted.

Your heart instantly stopped. You froze and replayed the question over and over again in your head. Does Jungkook like me? you thought. Jungkook cleared his throat and you turned to face him but were unable to look him in the eye.

He smirked. “Well duh I like her… we’re best friends,” he nonchalantly replied. Everyone booed. Jungkook laughed. “You wanted the truth, well that’s the truth.”

When his turn passed, you noticed that he quietly nudged you under the table. You lifted your head and he mouthed if you were okay. You nodded your head forcing a smile. Somehow you were relieved but also disappointed at his answer. After a couple of rounds, Jungkook had taken more than five shots. When you looked over at him you saw that he was completely out of it.

Around 3 am everyone was beginning to go home. You shook Jungkook’s arm whose upper body was collapsed on the table. “Jungkook, get up we’re leaving,” you said. He murmured something but you couldn’t hear him. “What?” you asked moving your head closer to his. Again he said something but you didn’t understand. “Jungkook get up I can’t fucking hear you,” you sighed.

All of a sudden he lifted his head up and cupped your face. His eyes were heavy and a grin was on his face. The same grin that he had when he walked into the club. You stood there in shock at his sudden movements.

“What are you doing?” you questioned in awe.

He let out a smile. “This,” he blurted. All of a sudden your lips were touching Jungkook’s, your best friend, the kid you’ve known since first grade. Your heart was heavy and about to leap out of your chest. You couldn’t believe that he was kissing you. But at the same time you realized that you were kissing him too. Why are you kissing him back? Yet somehow you didn’t force yourself to stop. Instead you gave in to Jungkook’s embrace as he put his arms around your waist and pulled you in closer. He kissed you more deeply and you felt like you were completely entranced. After about a minute, he stopped kissing you and gave you small pecks. It sent shivers up your spine.

When you were both facing each other, his hand interlocked yours and he whispered “I’ll call you tomorrow.” You watched him walk down the stairs toward Taehyung, who had now sobered up. Jungkook looked back at you once more.

-July 22, 2012 [4 am]-

“Tae! Run! Get the fuck out of here now!” Jungkook screamed at Taehyung whose head wobbled over the steering wheel. His hands were trembling as he looked off into the wreck in front of them. A car was thrown against a nearby tree and was slowly beginning to catch on fire.

“Did you hear me?! Fucking get out now!” Jungkook yelled removing Taehyung’s hands from the steering wheel.

“Shit!” Jungkook yelled as he opened the passenger door. He was still tipsy from the drinks at the club but he managed to storm over to the driver’s seat. “Get out! You need to leave before the cops get here,” He yelled over the faint sirens that could be heard in the background.

Taehyung suddenly awoke from his trance. “I can’t just leave you here,” he stuttered looking back and forth from the tree to Jungkook.

“You can and you will.” Jungkook demanded as he dragged Taehyung out of the car. “I am not letting you screw up your life. You’re the only one in this family who isn’t fucked up. Now get the hell out here! RUN!” He yelled waving his arms in front of him motioning Taehyung to run. Taehyung began walking backwards, his back toward the wrecked car. His eyes were dark and he looked distraught.

“Didn’t you hear me? God dammit Tae, run!” Jungkook pleaded from the driver’s seat that he had taken over. And Taehyung did just that.

-5 Years Later-

Jungkook thought that prison was a place where the worst of the worst went. He thought it was a place filled with murderers and thieves. But in the last five years, he found out that prison housed men of all backgrounds. He had met men that were fathers, uncles, and brothers. People with their own stories and struggles. Some of them had regretted their past actions and some were accused for something they had not committed. Yet everyone was serving their time.

During the five years that he spent in prison, not once did Jungkook regret his decision. He was the type of person that looked out for the people he loved. Taehyung was no exception. Throughout Jungkook’s entire life people had compared him to his older brother. Despite the negative comments, Jungkook did not feel angry. In fact, he acknowledged his own failures and didn’t feel jealousy toward his brother. So, the choice to take his brothers place was an easy one for him. Especially since he knew that Taehyung was getting ready to go to university. He knew that if his brother was arrested for the car crash, all of Taehyung’s dreams would have shattered. He couldn’t let that happen.

-

The sun was blazing down on his face as Jungkook walked out of the black prison gates. He squinted his eyes as he tried to take a glimpse of the cloudless sky. A small sigh escaped from his lips. While five years had passed by quickly, he felt thankful to have spent a relatively short amount of time locked up. Thankfully the car crash didn’t result in any deaths. But the judge  ruled a sentence for drunk driving. Jungkook pondered over the exact events that occurred five summers ago. He wondered how different his life would have been. Yet he disregarded those thoughts and forced a smile as he pictured his brother living a happy life.

Suddenly, a horn honked in the distance. Jungkook’s head swerved toward the sound as he tried to identify the woman. It was you. Before he got out of prison, he believed no one would pick him up, which Jungkook expected. Taehyung would be stuck with school or work. His parents were probably too ashamed of him. So, he was ready to take the long bus ride back to Seoul. But surprisingly you came. And you were the last person he expected to see.

-
You watched Jungkook swing his duffle bag across his shoulder and walk to your car. His hair was messy and longer. As he fixed his white t-shirt you noticed that his clothes looked loose on him. Somehow that made you feel sad knowing that he lost a lot of weight. But your eyes lit up when you saw him flash you a smile.

“Well this is a surprise,” he chuckled as he placed his bag on the floor and opened his arms.

For a split second you froze. It’s just Jungkook. Of course it’s okay if you hug him, you thought. So you smiled back at him. He quickly pulled you in and wrapped his arms around you. His embrace felt warm and comfortable. It reminded you of that night.

“Wow you stink,” you remarked trying to break the sudden tension that you felt.

He rolled his eyes at you. “Yeah prison isn’t really known for its bubble baths.”

You pulled out of the hug and leaned back against your car. Your eyes scanned the bottom of his shoes trying not to make eye contact. While you had gotten used to the fact that Jungkook was in prison, it was still a tough subject for you to talk about. You had known him your entire life. You grew up together and did everything with each other. You thought you knew him, but that night five years ago changed your entire world. You were expecting your relationship with him to go a completely different way than what it turned out to be.  

“Did you hear me?”Jungkook asked leaning down to catch your attention which was still on the floor. You batted your eyes breaking your stare. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Jungkook stood up straight. He folded his arms playfully. “I said. Aren’t you gonna open the door for me?” After hearing what he said you punched his arm. His bicep felt strong. I guess he had time to workout, you thought. As you shook your head at him, he hung his head childishly and walked to the passenger’s side. When you were both inside he was suddenly stiff. His expression became tense and his body also mirrored it.

“Are you okay?” You asked concerned. He looked at you warmly. A bright smile escaped from his lips. “Yeah,” he said. You knew he was lying but you didn’t want to make him talk about something he wasn’t ready to discuss. So you brushed off the uneasiness you felt.

As you were pulling out of the parking lot, you noticed that Jungkook was looking at the picture of you and Tae, which you forgot was hanging on a small chain beside the mirror. You felt a knot develop in your stomach. Jungkook didn’t know you and Taehyung were together. Five years ago you would never consider dating Taehyung. But Jungkook’s sudden departure from your life left you feeling empty and sad. You didn’t know how to function without him. He wasn’t only your best friend, he was the one who you talked to when you were upset, when you were mad, and when you were confused about life. So, it was insanely difficult being on your own. But when you began talking with Taehyung there was a sense of companionship that you found once again.

When you got together with Taehyung you wanted to keep it a secret from Jungkook. It was part of the reason why you didn’t visit him in prison that much. You knew that you could never look him in the eye and tell him the truth. But Taehyung had a different opinion. He wanted to let Jungkook know about your relationship. In fact, he was adamant about visiting him and letting him know you two were dating right away. But you thought it was unfair that Jungkook find out that his best friend was dating his brother when he was in a vulnerable state. So, you told Taehyung to wait until he got out. You didn’t realize Jungkook would find out so soon.

-

Jungkook’s heart sank when he saw that picture. It was as if time had stopped, yet the pain was continuous. There was no going back. He couldn’t erase what he saw. He couldn’t forget how his brother was kissing his best friend, the one he always loved. The one he had kissed. Sadly, he couldn’t find the courage to say to you the words I love you. Partially because he didn’t want to lose your friendship. He wanted to yell and scream, but he didn’t. Instead, he just stared at the photo silently.

Your voice echoed in his mind. “Jungkook?”

“So did you finish school?” He asked abruptly trying to change the subject. He saw your perplexed expression at his suddenness.

Your eyes shifted toward the road unable to make eye contact. “Yeah I finished last year. I’ve been trying to find a job these last couple of months,” you explained in a rather monotone voice. You were still  confused why he didn’t ask any questions about the picture. He definitely didn’t know beforehand about you and Taehyung. And you were certain he was staring at it intently. So why was he avoiding the topic?

The car ride to Seoul was fairly quiet. Jungkook tried to make it less awkward by cracking jokes but it was clear that both of you were uncomfortable.

“Everyone is excited is to see you again,” you added as you made a turn when the light turned green. You saw from your peripheral Jungkook didn’t react. “I mean they’re curious to see how you’re doing,” you rephrased wondering if what you said previously offended him.

Jungkook scoffed. “Curious..? Hmm I’m sure no one gives a shit,” he spat nonchalantly.

You were taken aback by his response. “Jungkook…people care about you. You know that right?” you said trying to comfort him. He let out a fake laugh. “Right, I can see that,” he pointed out.

At this point you were beginning to get upset because he was acting defensive and cold toward you. You wanted to scream at him but you decided to hold back your emotions. You started speaking. “I know it’s been five years but-“

Jungkook interrupted you. “But what? Don’t say that things will be the same because that’s bullshit.” He blurted in a loud voice. You could tell that he was heated but quickly quieted down once he saw your reaction. Jungkook let out a sigh and closed his eyes. “Let’s just go home okay. I’m tired,” he murmured.

You didn’t respond. Instead, you just drove on wishing that you could escape the intense situation you were in.

-

Jungkook was greeted by his parents and his brother. His mom was crying as she hugged him tightly. She stroked the back of his head and cupped his face. His dad, who was usually frigid, was also emotional. Jungkook was surprised by their reactions. His parents did not visit him too often in prison. He assumed that they were embarrassed or ashamed, which he understood. But their sudden warmth made him feel overjoyed. His brother stood beside them staring at Jungkook. He had his hair styled back in a sleek way. He was wearing a business suit with a light pink shirt. If they weren’t brothers Jungkook would have confused him for a CEO. When he went up to Taehyung, Jungkook sensed that their was an awkward tension between the two of them. For a moment he was confused why his brother was not being his overly bubbly and warm self, the one he looked up to and confided in when he was younger. Now he seemed to echo a person who was obnoxious and sophisticated.

“Good to see you bro,” Jungkook stated going in for a hug. Taehyung smiled sheepishly.

“Yeah, glad you’re back,” he replied less than enthusiastically. Jungkook noticed his tone of voice but ignored it. He assumed that his brother was just tired because of work.

After their quick encounter Taehyung ran up to you. He was being more affectionate and expressive.

When he kissed you, your initial reaction was to look at Jungkook. You hoped that he wasn’t hurt.
Surprisingly Jungkook wasn’t upset. Instead he said, “Congratulations guys.” Your eyebrow rose in curiosity. Jungkook was being way too nice.

When everyone went inside, you pulled Jungkook away from his family. “Jungkook, are you okay? I know this is really random and out of the blue but I just want to make sure-”

Jungkook stopped you. “It’s alright. If you guys are happy, I’m fine,” he explained. He forced a smile but you sensed that he was putting up a front. He walked away from you and made his way into the house. You looked at his back and part of you wanted him to turn around but he never did.

-6 months later-

You were walking in Itaewon when a familiar face caught your eye. It was your friend Eunji from high school. She was with a boy with brown hair. His back was toward you because he was paying for something. You called out to her as you waved your arms in the air. “Eunji!” you called.

She looked up at you and smiled. You quickly ran to where she was standing. “Wow, it’s been forever,” you laughed giving her a hug. She hugged you back. “Yeah! How have you been?” she asked. You nodded your head and told her you were fine. Suddenly the broad shouldered boy turned around and your heart stopped.

“Jungkook?” you questioned surprised to see them together.  “What are you doing here?” you added. He looked as shocked as you were. You and Jungkook had been distant the last couple of months. And you definitely understood why. He felt awkward around you and Taehyung. However, a selfish part of you missed your best friend. But seeing him after so long made you emotional.

“Oh right I completely forgot you were friends,” Eunji mentioned. “Jungkook and I are dating.”

When she said those last few words you felt tears beginning to form. You tried to hold them back and cleared your throat. “Oh..I see. You guys make a cute couple,” you lied. You tried to force a smile, but it was impossible because your lips began quivering at the slightest movement. “Listen I’m late for something but we should meet up soon,” you added trying to get myself out of that situation.

Jungkook spoke up before you left. “Didn’t my brother tell you?..We’re all having dinner tonight with my parents.”

Your heart suddenly stopped. If Jungkook and Eunji were meeting his parents then it definitely must be serious. You tried to suppress your sadness. “Oh no he didn’t tell me. I guess he forgot,” you answered.

Jungkook looked at you intensely. “Yeah I guess he did,” he said. “See you there,” Eunji added as you began to leave. You looked back and forced a smile. “Yeah, see you.”

-

You were surprised when Taehyung kissed you in front of his family. He was always worried about PDA, especially amongst family and friends. “Babe, what are you doing?” You asked embarrassed.

He pulled back from the kiss. “What? I can’t kiss my girlfriend?” He remarked.

You shook your head. You wanted to tell him that his brother, was standing right there and that kissing wasn’t appropriate at this time. But, you held back. Why did you even care? Jungkook was in a relationship already. He had his own girlfriend now. “Nevermind” you mumbled. As you moved slightly closer to Jungkook, you noticed his gaze was stuck on you and his jaw was clenched tightly. Eunji was standing to his right but she was too busy looking at her phone.

He suddenly spoke up. “Guys we’ll be right back. I need to talk to Y/N about something,”  Jungkook stated out of the blue.

You noticed that Taehyung became defensive. “Talk to her? What do you need to talk to her about?” He blurted. Eunji suddenly looked up from her phone but didn’t really respond.

Jungkook grinned. “C’mon Tae. I just wanna catch up with my best friend. You can have your girlfriend soon don’t worry,” he answered.

Taehyung didn’t say anything for a while. “Fine, just don’t take too long,” he finally demanded.

When they were gone, Jungkook walked over to where you were standing. He tried to grab your wrist but you pulled away. “What are you doing?” you asked puzzled at his sudden move.

He tried to grab your wrist again and this time he was successful. Before you knew it, he was pulling you down the street. A million thoughts went through your head. Jungkook seemed angry, but you knew he would never hurt you. He was still your best friend, the one you grew up with. He wasn’t someone who was reckless. But whenever you thought that, your mind went right back to the accident.

“Where are we going?” You called out. He didn’t reply. “Jungkook, what’s going on?” you repeated. Again, no response. Since he was not answering your questions you were trying to break free of his grip. But he tugged on more tightly. When you finally stopped you were five blocks from the house.

“Jungkook! What the hell are you doing?” You screamed. He stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets. He walked back and forth for a few seconds

Then, when he stopped, he stared at you intensely. He yelled, “What the hell are YOU doing?”

You were surprised at his reaction. “Me? I’m not the one who’s dragging people to god knows where.” You scolded.

Jungkook scoffed at your reply. “Please, you know I would never hurt you,” he stated. You sensed the sincerity in his voice as he spoke the last few words quietly.  

“Then what are we doing here Jungkook? Why did you drag me here?” You questioned stepping closer to him as you lifted your head simultaneously.  

He rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes fell to the floor. “This feels weird,” he blurted. You tried to wrap your mind around what he said.

“What feels weird?” you asked curiously. Jungkook didn’t respond.

He suddenly spoke up. “Your relationship with my brother feels weird,” he choked. You were surprised and offended. Sure Jungkook was your best friend, but who the hell was he to say that about your relationship. You were in a happy place now. He didn’t know how much you suffered when he was gone. Also he had no right to say that to you when he was dating someone else.

You let out a deep sigh, unable to comprehend your emotions. “I know it’s weird. You were gone for five years so of course it’s strange. Also, he’s your brother so I get it,” you remarked trying to be understanding.

Jungkook shook his head. “No you don’t get it,” he answered.

You closed your eyes trying to gather your thoughts “Look I’m sorry. I know you must feel weird or hurt. But when you were in prison-”

Jungkook interrupted you “Prison. Prison. Prison. Yeah I was in prison okay. Why do you constantly have to mention that?! Especially you!” He pointed out angrily.

You were surprised at his outburst. “It’s not like I said a lie. You were in prison. Yeah, so what? You did something bad and went to jail for it. It happens to a lot of people Jungkook..I’m not judging you-“ He suddenly grabbed your shoulders and his eyes looked stern.

“Who told you that it was my fault?” He inquired stressing every syllable. Now you were beginning to get scared. You weren’t sure what he was referring to.

You stuttered your words as you answered him. “I mean Taehyung told me you got in an accident. No one died, but you were drunk and the judge wasn’t lenient.”

His hands were still on your shoulders. You could feel his grip getting tighter. Clearly, what you said did not sit well with him. “I can’t believe he fucking said that,” he cracked, his voice breaking up as if he was about to cry. “Your sweet, intelligent boyfriend was the one who caused that accident. I took the fault because I knew he got into college.” Jungkook spat.

You tried to process what he said. Words were coming out of his mouth but somehow you couldn’t believe anything he was saying. Taehyung had clearly told you that the accident was Jungkook’s fault. He even warned you that Jungkook would act differently once he got out. You didn’t want to believe him because Jungkook was your best friend. But at the same time, you couldn’t comprehend how Jungkook could drive a car while he was drunk. He was not the type of person to do that. So when he went to prison, you assumed that Taehyung was right.

“No..that can’t be true,” you pleaded in disbelief.

Jungkook scoffed. “After all I did for him…. this is how he repays me?”

You stood there shaking your head in shock. All of a sudden your legs started moving and before you knew it you were inside of their house. You ran up to Taehyung’s room, completely ignoring his parents and Eunji who were in the living room. The door slammed shut as you stomped your way to him.

“Did you fucking lie to me?” you shrieked. Taehyung stood up from his desk chair.  His eyebrows rose in confusion. “About?”

“About Jungkook. About the accident. About that night,” you ranted hitting him on his chest. You saw his eyes fall. So it was true.

All of a sudden, the emotions you were trying to suppress for so long exploded and you started crying. You collapsed on his bed. Taehyung quietly hung his head and sat down next to you, making sure to leave some space.

“I’m sorry,” he stated.

You didn’t reply. “No you’re not. If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have lied to me. You made me believe that Jungkook was this horrible person,” you wept as tears rolled down your cheek.

Taehyung clenched his teeth when you mentioned Jungkook. “So what?? Yeah he took the blame for me. And yeah I’m thankful. But why does everyone look at him as if he’s this god like figure. Newsflash he’s not.” he snapped.

You quieted down your crying and looked at him intensely. You couldn’t believe what he just said. “Your brother gave up five years of his life for you…so you could live comfortably!” you shrieked.

Suddenly Taehyung jumped up. His expression darkened. “I didn’t ask him to save me okay! He was the one who decided to go to prison. No one asked him to take the fault for me!” Taehyung boomed.

“But you knew he was drunk that night! You knew that he would end up in jail no matter what!” you yelled even louder. Taehyung didn’t reply.

There was a moment when it was quiet and you could feel the tension in the air. Taehyung spoke up again, this time more mellow. “Listen, do you know what it’s like? To live with that guilt for five years? It eats away at you Y/N. It completely breaks you down. I know I’m supposed to be thankful and welcome him like a savior but part of me wants to punch him in the face. You don’t know the anxiety and stress I had those first few years. It’s like I was in my own fucking prison,” he explained.

You understood what Taehyung was saying at that moment. But part of you felt disgusted. He wasn’t sympathetic or thankful. He was selfish. The only person he seemed to care about was himself.

You were about to speak up, but Taehyung chimed in again. “Y/N I’m really happy you chose me. For the first time in my life I felt like I could forget the whole Jungkook thing. I felt like whatever happened in the past no longer mattered.”

You stopped him from talking any longer. “Taehyung…first of all I didn’t choose you because this isn’t a competition. Second of all, you knew Jungkook and I were best friends, yet you still made me doubt him.” You stopped for a second and then went on again. “I understand you felt guilty, which is normal. But the fact that you became hateful toward him… I don’t know…” you interjected. You couldn’t process how he could act like that toward his own brother.

All of a sudden there was a loud bang on the bedroom door. It was Jungkook. “Taehyung open the door!” He yelled. You got up to open it but Taehyung pulled you down. Instead he was the one who went up to the door.  Jungkook stormed in and ran up to you. He scanned your puffy eyes and red nose. You saw that he looked heartbroken. That was soon replaced with anger as he ran up to Taehyung in a fury.

“What the fuck did you do?” Jungkook gritted through his teeth.

Taehyung stood there expressionless. “I’m talking with my girlfriend, do you have a problem with that?”

Jungkook became angrier. It was clear to him that you were hurt, but Taehyung was acting as if nothing had happened. “What the fuck is your problem dude? How can you do this to me? After all I’ve fucking done for you?!” Jungkook bellowed. He stepped closer to Taehyung trying to make sure you couldn’t hear. “You knew how I fucking felt about her,” he added quietly.

But you heard him clearly. You got up from the bed and stepped in the middle of them. “Felt about who?” you questioned. Jungkook’s eyes widened. He didn’t realize you heard him. “Nothing, just forget it,” he stated quickly.

“No who are you talking about?” you questioned Jungkook almost ignoring Taehyung who was standing right next to you. Jungkook hung his head and spoke quietly. “You. He knew how I felt about you and still dated you. He knows I still like you.” He crossed his arms over his head and let out a heavy sigh. He shut his eyes trying to suppress his emotions.

You couldn’t believe what he was saying. “You’re dating Eunji,” you said in a monotone voice. He lifted his head and uncrossed his arms. “Yeah I am.”

You were shocked at his sudden agreement. You mind was overwhelmed. “Get out,” you told Jungkook whose eyes widened. Taehyung was also surprised.  

“Y/N..” Jungkook spoke trying to come closer to you. But your mind was so overwhelmed that you just yelled get out again.

When Jungkook left the room you turned your attention to Taehyung. You knew how he felt?” You questioned Taehyung now. You were beginning to get furious.

Taehyung stuttered. “I..I mean-”

You yelled at him. “Taehyung! Just be honest with me for once!” You demanded.

“Yes, but I mean I developed feelings for you too. Is that so wrong? Am I not allowed to have any feelings?” He asked.

You paused trying to gather your thoughts. “You used me Tae. Maybe you didn’t do it on purpose but you were guilty and mad at your brother. And I was just a pawn” you stated tears forming once again. Taehyung didn’t say anything. For the first time in awhile you saw that he was sincerely thinking about you said.

“Goodbye Taehyung,” you said as you turned around to leave. You weren’t sure what would happen next but you just needed some space for now.

-2 days later-

There was heavy banging on your apartment door. As you looked through the peephole you saw it was Jungkook. You rolled your eyes. What does he want now? You were still mad at him.

“What?” you blurted only opening the door a couple of inches.

Jungkook looked down at the floor and then back up at you. “Can I talk to you?” he asked.

A heavy sigh escaped your chest and you stared at Jungkook. “There isn’t anything to talk about,” you mentioned as you started closing the door. He suddenly slammed his hand against it, pushing it back.

“I have a lot to say to you. I know you want to ask me things too..so please just 10 minutes,” he pleaded. You stood in that position for a while but didn’t answer. Ultimately you ended up letting him in. He was right, you did want to say something. As he walked through the hallway you stopped him at the entrance of the living room.

“Alright talk,” you motioned crossing your arms.

He nodded his head and let out a deep sigh.“That night…the night I kissed you,” he started. You suddenly froze thinking about how everything had been so perfect. How it was weird at first but then it felt completely normal.

“Yeah you were drunk,” you quickly added.

Jungkook shook his head. “No, I wasn’t that drunk.”

You let out a scoff. “Jungkook you were drunk that’s why you got charged for drunk driving. I mean I know it was Taehyung who drove but you still got tested and they said-” Jungkook interrupted your ramble as he came closer to you.

“I had alcohol, yes. But I kissed you because I wanted to. I wanted to do that for so long Y/N” he explained sincerely as his brown eyes looked up at you.

“So why didn’t you tell me that once you got out? Why did you let me feel like a fool?” you questioned him.

Jungkook became quiet. “I don’t know…I should have-” he paused. “You and Taehyung looked happy, and I didn’t want to destroy that,” he tried to explain.

Your shoulders fell and you pursed your lips at his revelation. You spoke up, “When you kissed me, I knew our friendship would change. But I wasn’t scared, I was happy.” Jungkook’s eyes lit up in excitement at that remark.

You continued on. “But then we never had the chance to see eachother again. We didn’t see each other for five years Jungkook. I was heartbroken, lonely, and scared. And during that time, Taehyung was there for me.”

He looked down and nodded his head. “Yeah I understand.”

You started talking but suddenly stopped for a second because your voice cracked. “For five years my feelings for you were lingering around somewhere. And when you got out of prison, I couldn’t believe you were okay with my relationship. I was confused. I thought you liked me but I guess not enough to say anything to Taehyung. And then I find out you’re dating…”

Now tears began falling down your face.“When I saw you and Eunji together I made up my mind. I knew you were definitely over me at that point. I figured that the kiss meant nothing to you. It killed me inside Jungkook..do you know that?” you wept looking up at him.

Before you could collapse, Jungkook wrapped his arms around you. He comforted the back of your head as you placed your face in his chest. “I’m sorry Y/N. I love you. I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating.

-3 months later-

You started working at an office a couple of months ago. It was your first job since you graduated from college and you were trying to make a good impression. As you sat at your desk, working on a file your manager gave you, your phone lit up.

[Babe: I’m downstairs at the coffeeshop! :D ]

You looked across from your cubicle to see if your manager was roaming around somewhere. He wasn’t. There was a girl sitting to your right and you let her know that you were running off to the bathroom. As you made your way to the elevators you were quickly typing away on your phone.

[You: Okay I’m coming now. I can’t believe you’re here.. I’m gonna get in so much trouble]  

[Babe: I need to give you something, it’s only going to be 5 minutes]

[You: okayyyy fine]

The elevator stopped at the first floor and you rushed out of the lobby. The coffee shop was fairly empty so you recognized him right away. He was sitting next to the window with his headphones in and his leg moving to the beat. As you walked closer to the table, you realized he didn’t notice you. A mischievous grin crept up on you. You quickly ran next to him and removed his headphones that were tugging on his hair. He turned around in surprise but laughed when he was saw it was you.

“Ya! That was a good song,” he said.

You rolled your eyes at him. “Who are you listening to again? BTS??” you teased sitting down next to him.

He looked off to the side. “Maybe…” he murmured. You started laughing at his expression.

“Jungkook..you’re a fanboy. No need to be ashamed ,” you poked fun at his obsession with the group. As you scanned his figure you couldn’t deny that he did look like the idol type as well. He would be the perfect member for BTS.  “Anyways why did you want to meet up?” you added.

Jungkook smiled at you as if he was hiding something. You quirked your eyebrow in curiosity. “Hold on,” he stated rummaging through his backpack. When he found what he was looking for you saw it was a small box. Your eyes  remained glued on the small box. It couldn’t be, you thought.

“What is that?…” you asked pointing at it in curiosity. He grinned at your surprisement. He opened up the box slowly eyeing your every move.  

Your shoulders relaxed when you saw the object. It was a necklace. “Oh.” you let out.

He laughed at your comment. “What? What did you think it was Y/N?” he teased elbowing your arm.

You pretended to be upset. Quickly you placed your hands over your face and made fake crying sounds. You heard Jungkook shift in his seat as he placed his hands on your shoulders. “Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did you not like the present?” he asked rapidly as his voice became higher.

You wanted to laugh at his reaction but you kept up the act. “I just..I just.. I thought you loved me. How could you just give me a necklace?” you wallowed.

Jungkook moved closer to you, giving you hug from the side and resting his chin on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’ll buy you whatever you want,” he stated. Suddenly you lifted your head and he saw that you had no tears in your eyes.

“YA!” he called out. You started laughing at his expression. “I can’t believe you would think I would cry over that,” you explained continuing to chuckle.  He folded his arms but you could tell he wanted to laugh too. “Yeah..I was going to say…I can’t believe my girlfriend is such a brat,” he quickly added.

You scoffed playfully at his attempt to be mean. “I love it. Thank you,” you said grabbing onto his arm and lifting your chin to stare up at him.

He was trying to be serious but a smile erupted on his face when he saw you batting your eyes trying to act cute. “Ew okay…you’re welcome,” he stated.

You still were holding on his arm, this time your tone became more serious. “No for real. I love it,” you noted looking at the gift in your hand. It was a necklace with a small circular pendant.

He turned his face toward yours. “And I love you,” he chuckled grabbing your hands and pulling you into a hug. When he let go, he brushed his lips against yours and you felt yourself give into his embrace. It wasn’t easy being with him, but you didn’t care. Moments like this were irreplaceable. You thought it was better to cherish them because you knew how hard it was when they were gone.

2

choices: stories you play - character aesthetic series;

“it would just be so unfair. i had a whole life planned out, and i’m not going to get to live any of it. i was going to graduate with honors… do a medical residency in new york… become a world-renowned neurosurgeon… and get married to… i mean… in… it doesn’t matter. it’s stupid. it just can’t all end here. not like this.”

- michelle nguyen

book: endless summer

I hope you enjoy it, anon!  Thank you for the request and your kind words

The cloudless sky gave way to a cold desert night, and Keith tugged at his jacket, wrapping it tighter around himself as a light breeze swept over the Garrison roof.  Despite the chill, he liked it up here.  It was isolated and quiet – the perfect place to gaze up at a full moon that illuminated the arid landscape.  

Keith hadn’t been able to get out of his own head in the cramped silence of his bunker, but somehow, his thoughts were more bearable here beneath the stars.  Classes were almost out and cadets would be going home for the summer.  Of course, Keith didn’t have much of a home to go to, but thanks to the Garrison’s new housing program, he was welcomed to stay until term resumed.

Yay for me.

And Shiro was graduating tomorrow.  Graduating and going to space.  Keith frowned, laying back on the threadbare blanket that was spread out beneath him, tucking a hand behind his head.  He reached up and traced a constellation with his fingers.  I can’t follow you where you’re going.  With a sigh, he let his arm fall limply beside him with a deadened thud.

The door to the roof opened, and Shiro stepped through the threshold.  He glanced around until he spotted Keith, who sat up at the sound of his sudden appearance.  Shiro couldn’t help the relieved smile that pulled at his lips.  He hadn’t seen Keith all day and was hoping to find him before he turned in for the night.  Tomorrow, after the ceremony, it was straight to mission control for him, and there wouldn’t be any time for a meaningful goodbye.

Shiro felt his chest tighten. Goodbye.  It wouldn’t be forever, but six months was a damn long time to be away from home – from him.

“Hey, I thought I’d find you up here,” he said as he made his way over, sitting down on the blanket beside him.  There wasn’t much space that separated them, but neither of them seemed to notice, like it was the most natural thing in the world.  “Hungry?”  Shiro lifted a white paper bag that had Planet Subs written across it and a rocket ship taking off behind the bold lettering.  

“You kidding?” Keith chuckled as he rummaged through the bag and pulled out a sub.  “We haven’t eaten Planet Subs in… Man, how long has it been?”

Shiro hummed out a sound of contemplation before the memory settled into the forefront of his mind.  “When we were kids.  I couldn’t have been older than twelve, thirteen maybe?  It was summer time, but we were out playing anyway and got hungry.  Mrs. Norbury had just given me my allowance so we had enough money to go to our favorite sub place.”

A small, wistful smile tugged at Keith’s lips. “Feeling a little nostalgic?” he asked before taking a bite from his sandwich.

“Kind of hard not to be,” Shiro replied with a shrug that probably wasn’t as nonchalant as he’d hoped.  With a sigh, he realized that he didn’t have much of an appetite and leaned back, bracing against his arms as he turned his eyes up to the sky.  Their days in foster care were long gone, and yet he couldn’t help but think about them every now and again.  

With sunrise destined to separate them, it was difficult for Shiro not to look back on the rough, early days of their childhoods that brought them so close together.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?”

His friend’s voice pulled him back to the present, and Shiro breathed out a soft sigh.  “When we met.  Remember that?”

“How could I forget?” Keith grimaced.  “Those kids were being assholes to you.”

Shiro chuckled.  “Yeah.  You punched one of them in the face and made him cry.  He was a lot bigger than you, too.”

“Yeah, well… they shouldn’t have been messing with you,” Keith muttered as he finished off the last bit of his food and dusted off his hands.  He adjusted himself so he could sit cross-legged, leaning forward and absentmindedly picking at the blanket.  When he spoke again, it was clear that Shiro wasn’t the only one suffering from nostalgia.  “You’ve done a lot for me too, you know.  Paid me back twenty-fold when I… started going down a bad path. ”

“We’ve been through a lot,” the older man said quietly.

“And now you’re leaving.”  The words fell from Keith’s lips before he could stop them, and he scrambled to correct himself, “I-I mean, I’m happy for you, Shiro, I am.  This has been your dream since we were kids, and I’m so proud of you.  I just…” he sighed, glancing away as heat filled flushed his cheeks.

A brief moment of silence stretched between them before Shiro spoke again, and his voice was unmistakably somber, “I’m going to miss you, too, Keith. It.. almost makes me not want to go.”

Shiro felt the tension ripple down his back as he said the words, realizing that they may have revealed more about his feelings than he intended.  He chanced a glance at the younger man who was staring back at him now, eyes slightly widened and lips parted.  As their gazes met, Shiro felt a deep ache in his chest as he was finally forced to admit to himself just how much he loved the man beside him.

Shiro swallowed past the tightness in his throat and, against his better judgement, went on, “I know it’s only for six months, but…” He let out a shaky, humorless laugh.  “…we’ve never been apart for so long, you know?  And when I get back, I’m afraid things will be different.”

Keith never imagined that Shiro would have fears that mirrored his own, and he wasn’t sure what to make of what he said: it almost makes me not want to go.  For his own sake, he tried not to assume too much.  “I’ll be here waiting when you get back so you can tell me all about it” Keith promised.  “So, live out that dream, space man.  No regrets.”

He held out his hand to Shiro and nodded, giving him an encouraging smile.

Shiro smiled back at him, breathing out a quiet chuckle through his nose, as he clasped his hand around Keith’s.  He pulled him forward and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, bringing him into a tight hug that was returned in full.

For a moment, it seemed like neither wanted to be the first to let go as they etched into their minds what it felt like to hold each other.  Finally, they parted, deciding that any words left unsaid could be spoken upon Shiro’s return.

Besides, it was only six months.

Mini Update on My Life

So after a truly horrible experience with the administrators of my graduate program, I decided to withdraw, rather than go into debt chasing after something they couldn’t provide. Last Thursday, I spoke with a government employee about the jobs offered and potential opportunities that were out there. It was several parts informative, demoralizing, and a little hopeful. 

The takeaway was that in order to do anything with my resume was that I needed to get a business minor to make all of my business experience valid. Not the answer or path I was hoping for but not impossible either.

So I might be taking classes and applying for jobs much sooner than I anticipated. 

Social work wasn’t my dream, it was a practicality to get what I wanted–a solid job with a pension and upward mobility. One of the lies social work programs are selling right now is that the military population has many needs and it is growing exponentially. While this is true, it is almost impossible for them to get government contracts that allow their students to get experience and then hired. There are no social work jobs listed on the job websites.

If I’m being honest, my dream is still to be a published writer, but that requires more work on my end than I’m willing to do this year. The work I’m putting up on gwynne-fics fulfills that need inside me.

And I would like to make more money. The GS I spoke to had a lot of suggestions on how to make that happen.

This year so far is a wonderful year! Got to see 2 bands I adore, bought a lot of new music, met amazing people, made some hard decisions that were more important than I thought, graduated. I’m going to do volunteery work at a festival next week where I’m going to buy a bodhrán. I’ll be seeing Alestorm in a few months. I’m going to start studying something I love.


I am so damn grateful for 2017.

5

Okay back to happier (?) topics - today’s prompts were firsts/future/tears !!!! and honestly that’s probably a happy set why did I go for this even we might just never know

3

I was SO READY to watch BTS attend Jin’s graduation and then what happened- omg… I’m hurting when I watched that vlive, bitter sweet IT HURTS OUCH- don’t mind me, I drew this to cheer myself up. But still it’s a once in a lifetime experience and- omg don’t remind me I can’t- //lays on floor

To all my overachievers who don’t get praise from parents and loved ones anymore because it’s just expected of you to do well: I’m proud that you passed that test, I’m happy you graduated with honors, I love that you try your hardest all the time.

I know sometimes the lack of support and encouragement from those whose opinions matter the most to you can be disheartening, but keep pushing through and being the amazing person you are.

Issues (Smut)

MASTERLIST

Request: Jeep sex and a good bit of fluff.

A/N: This is my first story in like 8392 years and I’m so put of practice so please bare with me because it’s not great. Also shoutout to Emily. You’re the real mvp. Feedback would be great. 

Word count: 4,185

We were sitting in the jeep on the highway from Toronto back to Pickering and though we weren’t even half way yet, the drive seemed longer than usual.
Painfully longer. 

Though it was a rather warm summer day, I felt the chills run down my bare arms the soon as we got into the car. The pesky silence between us was smothering, suffocating really and made my entire body linger in the most uncomfortable way possible. 

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