not funny he said

your favorite time to look at ashton was when he didn’t notice.

you were standing side by side, leaning against the side of a tiny bridge in a tiny park in a tiny somewhere, staring down at the stream rushing past you. 

ashton had never been one to accept compliments easily, getting flustered and mumbling about how he wasn’t as good looking, as funny, as smart as you always said he was. he always had his guard up, trying to deflect anything that could inflate his ego. it was one of the things you loved most about him, but it could get a little frustrating sometimes.

that’s why you enjoyed moments like these, when he didn’t realize that you were staring at him, when he couldn’t look in your eyes and read what you were thinking. his eyes were half-closed, his hair blowing across his face in wild, tousled strands. he reached out to take your hand in his, the material of his fingerless gloves scratching against your palm, his grip awkward where the glove ended and his fingers began. 

it was perfect; the way he stood, the way his eyes were shining in the light, the way his boot was sliding further into a patch of mud that he didn’t notice. everything about him was incredible, beautiful, and you leaned your head against his shoulder as you watched a single bronze leaf flutter down and land on the surface of the water, ripples flowing out from it. 

“are you okay?” ashton asked, still not quite looking at you. “do you wanna leave?”

you tightened your grip on his hand, savoring every second of this moment, this hushed, quiet, in-between moment, where everything was exactly how you wanted it.

“no,” you whispered. “i’m happy right here.”

(day one of my fall/october series woo! forgive how short this one was i had five minutes before work… leave some feedback? i love you!)

Imagine teaching Peter to be normal PART 2

You pull Peter into the crowded mall temporarily stunning him. He may be used to the light in his world but the lights in the displays and hanging from the ceilings were bright and probably too blinding to handle for his first time. You drag him to the men’s department to replace his outdated clothes. Living on that island for the past couple thousand years hasn’t done his choice in clothing any good. He draws more attention to himself than he would if his face was printed on a billboard. Suddenly he grips your upper arm and pulls you close with a threatening stare. “You may be ‘in charge’ of me but that doesn’t me an you have any power over me you foolish, powerless human.” He clenches his jaw and you laugh. Not a nervous laugh to cover up fear but a genuine laugh as if he’d said something funny. “Rule number 2,” you shrug him off. “You’re in MY territory now and at the moment you’re foolish and powerless. Here, calling people powerless is calling people weak, not saying they don’t have magic. That’s a great way to get in a fight with someone.” You shrug him off shuffle through a nearby rack that grabs your attention. After a few minutes of searching you pull out a pair of dark jeans, a light gray t-shirt and a pair of boxers from the shelves behind you then point to the dressing rooms. “Go try on the clothes and come out to show me what you look like when you’re done.” Closing he door behind you it’s quiet for a bit before hearing the faint distressed grunts from behind the door. "These stupid death traps you call pants are uncomfortable and won’t pull up all the way.” His flustered voice lets you know it’s time to intervene. You open the door to reveal a stressed Peter with his jeans on backwards and half way up his legs while his hair is sticking up in all directions probably from running his hands through it. “Have you ver heard of knocking?” He snaps. "Have you ever heard of pants?” He glares at you. “You put them on backwards you doofus the buttons go in the front.” His silence says enough as he pulls them down and flips them putting them on more comfortably than they previously were. After figuring out a few more outfits to buy you head back to the shoe department. His boots were cool and everything but it’s about time for an upgrade. Ten pairs of shoes later the only pair of shoes you could decide on were black Vans skater shoes because they were easier to get on and they were the only ones he actually likes. That was the most painful two hours of your life. It was only 2 HOURS and you still have a lot of time left with Peter. You decide to take him out to lunch at Red Robin and you’re seated comfortably in a leather booth. “Rule number 3, there is a 99.9% guarantee that there is not going to be most of the food you at on the island at any restaurant. So if you’ve never been to a restaurant the safest food to get is chicken strips or a burger.” You call the waiter that got you settled, over and give him your orders. “We’re going to have two bacon cheeseburgers, fries and two cokes please, thank you.” After writing down your orders you sit there staring awkwardly at each other. “I know it’ll be hard for you to adjust to life here but that’s why I’m here. Rule number 4, be nice to people and don’t try and control them, ‘cause I heard you’re a real control freak. If you try and tell people what to do they won’t be so lenient to your attitude. They will fight back. You may have been ‘in charge back where you came from but here nobody takes orders from a random stranger, they barely take orders from their families.” And for the first time since you met he says something truly and genuinely smart. “What if they’re not nice to you?” You smile widely as a mischievous glint passes through your eyes. Peter raises a perfectly done eyebrow-making you jealous because you can never get your eyebrows to look that good-and smiles back at you mischievously. “Then you can fight them, say something nasty, or give them an evil death stare thing because you’re pretty good at that.” He laughs at you looking deep into your eyes. You never noticed how green his eyes are until now. “I never realized how awesome you’re eyes are.” You blurt not regretting the truth that you let slip. He licks his lips in a hot flirty way and raises a sexy eyebrow. “How about you come closer and I’ll let you get a better look.” He leans over the table but you push his head back with the palm of your hand. “You weirdo, eat your damn burger.” Your food gets set in front of you and your lips turn up into a big smile as the tips of his ears turn bright red-in either embarrassment or in anger at your game-and you both take your first bites of your burgers. ***This one isn’t as good as the first one was but I tried to recreate it.***

Originally posted by sugabitch




160608 EXO’s 3rd Album, EX’ACT Press Conference (☁️)
Baekhyun being considerate to Suho yet humorous answer to the members.

the signs as things my brother has said
  • aries:i'll choose moose because i sexually identify as one
  • taurus:RUN THOSE KIDS OVER. NATURAL SELECTION. but don't hurt the dog.
  • cancer:if my future kid's ever an emo, i'll slap them
  • gemini:no i won't shave...i prefer being an untamed lawn
  • virgo:*smacks me in the face* itachi forehead touch
  • libra:this offends my veganism
  • scorpio:i can't call you a hoe??? fine you fucking shovel
  • sagittarius:it's gucci my dude
  • capricorn:i like cheesecake, maple syrup, and strippers
  • aquarius:*looks at the night sky* i'm so glad i paused dragon ball z for this
  • pisces:who cares about the sea life. i care about the tree life. Recycle.

Barcelona, I want to hear you sing this song with me. Muy loud. Very loud. Here we go. It’s called Brother.


EXO’s funniest and most unfunny member according to Chen


how baekhyun reacted when the translator mistranslated his ment