not for kicking the ball away

In a few “fan fiction” episodes, the show changes from the adventures of Finn and Jake to those of Fionna and Cake, where every character is a different gender. But it’s essentially just a cosmetic change. Every character retains their original personality, especially Fionna, who just like Finn is brave, strong, and a bit of a dork.

None of that went away when her balls migrated inwards because, and this is important, your genitals don’t have to dictate how you live your life. Except for Deathray-Dick Johnny but I like to think he’s the exception that proves the rule. Always in our hearts, Deathray-Dick.

Feminism started out as a fight for basic civil rights for women, then equal rights, and today, it’s essentially about the freedom of choice, and Fionna is the perfect example of that.

She wears dresses. When she wants. She doesn’t need a boyfriend now. But she’s open to the idea in the future. She kicks ass. But the show doesn’t call her a tomboy for that, nor does she make it a cornerstone of her whole personality. On its own, that wouldn’t mean all that much. But because Fionna exists solely as the female version of a male character, her non-stereotypical characterization becomes a powerful feminist message, namely: You do you, no matter what’s between your legs.

5 Fictional Characters That Should Be Studied In Schools

Day One Hundred and Twenty-Seven

-After a lengthy medical leave, I have once more donned my red and khaki and returned to my rightful place at the register. I find the store much the same as it always was. An unsettlingly muggy climate. The aisles, bustling with guests from every demographic, all united in the common pursuit of the best deals. An inescapable air of mystery and ripe infant following wherever you go. It is good to be back.

-A man in his fifties returned twenty-five unopened Hot Wheels cars. I wish that I know what could have gone so, so very wrong.

-An elderly pair of women purchase Minions toothpaste, a Minions toothbrush, and a Minions board game. Their passion leaves me certain that they are not gifts. Their choice of passion leaves me wondering one thing: Why?

-I listened on as a trio of grade school girls gathered to discuss having watched the notoriously family-friendly smash hit, Deadpool. At first, I believed them to be bluffing, however they went into such detail that I came to realize that the nine year-olds were actual consumers of this movie. The three have proven themselves to possess only the hardest of cores and are not to be trifled with.

-A young man came through sporting a shirt which showed him to be a member of the local hammer wrestling team. I have never heard of any such sport, but if it is at all like how it sounds, I am very interested.

-The Hot Wheels man approached my lane to purchase more of the same cars he had just returned. He only picked up half as many cars this time around, however. This man has been hurt before, so I am glad to see him being careful moving forward.

-Rather than the normal affirmative of “Okey-dokey,” a woman crafted her own, replying to her total with a confident, “Obi-Kobe.” Once I establish my Hammer Wrestling team, I have now been inspired to start up a Jedi Basketball club.

-A toddler screamed and cried and kicked and fought when the ball he had been clutching, a blue orb much larger than he himself, was taken away. The tyke refused to calm down until it was once again safely in his keeping. I am glad to see such a wise child, so proficient at prioritizing. After all, it is never too early to learn that ball is life.

bad | 07

  He was the cliché bad boy. He was the guy you couldn’t stand. He was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. He was a brat. You had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. Until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by mvssmedia

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader (ft. kim taehyung)

GENRE: smut, romance, fluff

WORDS: 10 243

WARNINGS: mature & sexual content, profanity, dirty talk & other filth

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07coming soon

A/N: please beat my ass for taking over a fucking month with this. hopefully it was worth the wait tho ;). writing this killed me.

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OMGCP characters as things my mom has said to me
  • Bitty: It's 3:30 in the morning and you have a sociology report due tomorrow why are you making a cheesecake
  • Jack: Hey could you step away from your hyperfixation for a second and look at this shirt design?
  • Ransom: [as im huddled in a ball under my bed] Is this because of school, the future, moving out, or all of the above?
  • Holster: I'm banning Moana songs from this house and it's all your fault
  • Lardo: If you don't stop drawing on your arms ill tape your fingers together
  • Shitty: WE GET IT, YOU'RE LIBERAL, JUST LET US EAT DINNER IN PEACE FOR ONCE
  • Dex: Did you...did you kick the dishwasher and then fix it BETTER than before you broke it?? ((note: this was a total accident))
  • Nursey: You look like a lesbian hipster in a portland vegan bakery
  • Chowder: If you called me in here just too tell me how nice your friends are AGAIN i'm adopting you off
  • Whiskey: Stop pretending you're cool we all know you cried over the Homeward Bound movie
  • Tango: I'll answer all of your questions about technology back in my day in a second just please for the love of god let me take a bath
  • Ollie&Wicks: How long have you been in the house?? i haven't seen you in like 3 days
  • Ford: You'd be a great politician, you're good at ordering people around and have a face that makes people inherently trust you
  • Johnson: please stop making me think about if i'm real or not while i'm buying toilet paper
  • Kent: You're never gonna get a boyfriend, your only redeemable quality is that cats like you
  • NOTE - im very very gay and like girls a Lot but im still in the closet, which is why these seem so uncharacteristically Hetero™
the signs as 'life on the murder scene' moments

aries: “better stay on that side of the street, motherfucker. i’ll knock you out.”

taurus: frank trying to take a shower by the fence on warped tour

gemini: their adoration for new jersey/anytime they mention something about how grimy it is

cancer: ray putting his hand in a cupcake during a serious talk and thinking it’s hilarious

leo: the kickball game - “easy peasy pumpkin peasy. pumpkin pie, motherfucker!”

virgo: mikey straightening his hair on the bus and complaining about being recorded

libra: “i’m sick of seeing my face but i’m allowed to be sick of seeing my face because it’s my fucking face”

scorpio: almost drowning on the ghost of you set - “when my balls got wet, that’s when i got scared”

sagittarius: the band forgetting ray at the truck stop and driving away

capricorn: when they sell 11,000 records and mikey says his mom probably bought 10,999 of them

aquarius: gerard getting kicked out of his old band for not knowing how to play sweet home alabama on guitar

pisces: gerard reminiscing about playing peter pan as a kid - “everything i had built, i had ruined”

Off the wall lyrics

When I f-f-fist that bitch, ima make that booty jiggle like some kick back bitch, she gon rub my dragon balls, let her make one wish, what is that?

She just wanna take the yung dagger dick,


Ay , ay,

Ay, ay

Ay, ay

Ay, ay


she off the molly, she wanna take 7 dick,
body to body, its m cee dagger, bitch, think that im luminati because I got money bitch

like ray j, ray j, ray j, ray j, bitch I hit it first, on my weenie hit the nae nae,

coming in hot like a missle pussy, hey bae!

Falcon punch that nigga make em up up and away ay!


Watch this, upper cut, super smash melee, i just made her spin on my dick a bey blade, im green like a spinach I don’t know you than it’s pay ay, hummanah hummanah, back fist , out my way ay


no chris brown, fuck her make look at me now, When I’m in the pussy say ow,

you got no edicate just beginning like genesis,

can you gimme a rapper that im not better than

revenge jean, I think that i might od, on sauce I don’t rock supreme,

Suck my dick squidwards clarinet,


brought to life like im evascense, wanna (wake) repeat,

Ok like big black, dick in yo momma mouth pull it back

push her whole wig,

back,

tic tac, yo breath really pee u, yo really need a tic tac

, big pump, cobain cobain, leave a pussy wit no brain, okay,
weenie hut junior looking boy, tell em ole, Ima pull the pistol make em mr noodle okay!!!

Missing Person (Jughead One-Shot)

Summary: Part one of a Jughead series I’m writing.

Part one: Archie and Veronica talk about old days

Word count: 797

Requested? No

Prompts: None

A/n: I will be taking requests for Jughead as of now.

Part 2 Here


Originally posted by dailycwriverdale

Archie and Veronica walked side by side, each step another second of the present wasted on focusing on the past. They spoke of simpler times when your school year was designated by a number rather than a name. Archie shared a story of his younger days with Betty which soon ended in a comfortable silence, followed by Veronica’s query.

“What about him?” She asked gesturing down the road to a beanied author walking away from hanging a missing person’s poster on poles and mailboxes. “Doesn’t he fit in to your tales?”

Originally posted by dylanobrienbaby

Archie was hesitant. “Yeah, we were friends.”

“What about them?” she asked gesturing to the person in the photo. “I’ve seen the posters around town. I thought this place was a quiet one but so far there’s been a dead body and a missing person.”

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anonymous asked:

Rfa+ V who have MC who wears sexy stuffs bec she's confident w her body then one day while they are walking in their date someone catcalls her then she's like: "aight *removes earings* honey hold my earings" then proceeds in beating up the cat caller

thiS DEADASS HAD ME WEAK OMG. this is a good request and i’m more than happy to do to it! lmao this is my first headcanon so please don’t like, obliterate me if it’s really bad lololol ~amanda


YOOSUNG:

  • both of you had decided that you needed a day out together, so you planned date night to a nice carnival nearby
  • it was a bit too hot outside, so naturally you dressed appropriately for the weather
  • CROP TOP AND SHORTS
  • when you two arrived at the carnival, you guys decided to hit up the ferris wheel 
  • as you made your way there, you walked past some dude who gave a look
  • when you walked past him, you heard his whistle at you and say “damn mami, why don’t you come over here so i can be a man to you~”
  • BITCH
  • yoosung froze and looked at the guy angrily
  • you whirled around, glared at him and in a low voice said “yoosung, hold my bag”
  • wait what
  • mc what are you doing
  • you stormed over to the guy and socked him right in the face
  • wow yoosung’s never been so sh ook in his life
  • you started screaming, saying how that’s utterly disgusting to hear from a man and that you’ll beat the shit out of him if you he comes near you again
  • the guy was beginning to get frightened as he held his bruised cheek
  • as you walked off into yoosung’s arms, he kept praising you and telling you how badass that was
  • lowkey wishes he was the one who punched him instead but mc was having her moment of confidence and triumph so he let it slide
  • “that was so cool mc! i didn’t know you could punch like that!”
  • there’s a lot of things you don’t know i could do, babe


ZEN:

  • in celebration of getting the new role, you two decided to go out to a nice restaurant
  • which means you! wearing! a! dress!
  • this dress was a short black one with a low neckline but you loved it so you decided to wear it lol
  • zen loved it also so bonus ;)
  • as you two sat down at your table, you immediately noticed that someone was staring you down
  • zen hasn’t noticed since he was too busy being excited over his new role
  • you didn’t tell him, since you didn’t want to ruin this night with some dumb staring
  • however, the man that was staring at you wouldn’t stop
  • homeboychillthehellout
  • zen noticed that you were somewhat distracted so he asked you what was wrong
  • you were honest and told him how some dude was staring you down
  • zen narrowed his eyes and turned around, looking at the dude straight in the eyes and mouthed “fuck off”
  • the dude stopped looking at you for the rest of the night
  • however when you two were leaving the restuarant, he followed you and came up close to you
  • he placed his hands on your hips and mumbled “let me steal you away from this asshole and take you home with me”
  • you glared at zen, who was looking at the man so angrily
  • as zen was about to choke this dude to death, you held up your hand to stop him
  • as soon as zen stopped, you turned around
  • AND FUcKEd thIS DUde UP
  • you slapped him so hard and started screeching at him, telling him to fuck off
  • “i have a boyfriend and you have the audacity to put your hands on me when i belong to him?”
  • ZEN HAS NEVER BEEN SO PROUD????
  • as you pushed him away, zen was cheering you on
  • “go mc! show him who you belong to!”
  • when you walked away with your knuckles slightly bruised, you huffed and held onto zen the rest of the night


JAEHEE:

  • movies, movies, movies!!
  • you two were so excited to see the movie that zen was in
  • which means you were also wearing your zen merch! you were wearing a crop top (with zen’s face on it) and leggings that hugged your curves
  • as you two were walking around outside the theater for a little bit, you noticed that someone was looking at you and whispering to your friend
  • yes look at me bitch and look how hot me and my gf are
  • the man that was whispering decided to walk up to you and pull you close to him, mumbling how attractive you and jaehee were
  • that’s not what i meant
  • jaehee stared at him in shock and was about to say something until you pushed him off you and started telling him that was he did was completely inappropriate
  • “get the hell away from me and my baehee before i chop your balls off”
  • the man kept making advances to you and finally, you finally resorted to physical violence
  • which means
  • JUDO JAEHEE AND MC
  • BOY WERE YOU GRATEFUL THAT JAEHEE TAUGHT YOU JUDO
  • JUDO KNOW WHAT I CAN DO, DON’T TEST ME
  • as soon as you roundhouse kicked him, that dude was out
  • jaehee was so happy that you kicked him first because if she did, homeboy would’ve been ded
  • as soon as he was on the ground, jaehee pulled you close and asked if you were okay
  • you nodded and kissed her, telling her that you loved her as a reminder
  • jaehee.exe has crashed


JUMIN:

  • FA NCY REST AURA NT
  • FA NCY DRESS
  • WITH HEELS!!!!!
  • jumin had decided to take you out to a nice dinner and you wore a lacey red dress with black heels to kind match with jumin, who was wearing a red tie and black suit
  • damn mr. trust fund kid and his girl lookin flyy
  • when you entered the restaurant, you immediately felt a little uncomfortable
  • since everyone seemed to nOTICE YOU THE SECOND YOU OPENED THE DOOR
  • specifically this one guy who literally was drinking in your soul with his eyes
  • jumin sensed that something was up with you and wrapped an arm around your waist
  • “darling are you okay being here? you seem… tense”
  • you assured him that you were fine and insisted on sitting down
  • you had accidentally dropped your purse when you walked in so you bent down to get it
  • wrong move mc
  • the man who had been staring at you had walked by and slapped your ass, saying how “thick” you were
  • you never stood up so fast
  • and guess what
  • YOU THREW YOUR PURSE AT THAT FUCKER
  • jumin watched in surprise as you started flinging anything you could get your hands on, just to hit the guy who just catcalled you
  • “SLAP MY ASS ONE MORE TIME AND I’LL YOU CUT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY”
  • jumin never knew how agressive you could be
  • and it was lowkey a turn on
  • he lead you away from the guy to prevent you from killing him
  • was upset that you caused a scene but realized that it was kinda necessary because the manager heard the commotion and kicked the guy out
  • good job mc


SEVEN/LUCIEL/SAEYOUNG

  • you two had decided to go grocery shopping since all saeyoung had was honey buddha chips and dr. pepper he wasn’t complaining though lololol
  • it wasn’t really date but then again it kinda was because everything you did together was considered a date
  • it was also really hot outside so say hello to say hello to strapless rompers :)))
  • the whole time you were in the store, saeyoung was complaining about the heat
  • “shut that mouth boi before you catch these hands”
  • “but it’s so hot mc!”
  • you were in the frozen food aisle getting hot pockets
  • and of course saeyoung started asking pointless questions
  • “will these make my pockets look hot?”
  • “saeyoung no”
  • when you opened the fridge door to get them, you heard someone say “damn lady, you sure got some cake”
  • saeyoung turned around to find a man about his age edging closer to you with a smirk on his face
  • as he opened his mouth to bitch at the guy, you turned around also and whacked the man with the box of hot pockets
  • “if *whack* you *whack* ever come *whack whack* near me bitch you will *whackity whack whack* catch these motherfuckin hands pervert *whack whack*”
  • saeyoung was laughing so loud and shoving the guy away from his mc
  • “go back to whatever rat hole you came from and leave me and my girlfriend alone mofo”
  • as soon as he left, saeyoung gently pinned you against the fridge and started kissing you, mumbling how attractive and badass you looked for rebuffing the guy’s action
  • rip all nearby shoppers for seeing you guys ;p


V/JIHYUN:


  • picnic!!
  • you and V had been planning this picnic for a while and since you knew it was going to be a little hot, you wore a short sundress which showed off your legs
  • ur nice legs lolol right V
  • you two were unloading your picnic basket and chattering away
  • as you two sat down on the grass under a tree, there was someone who was reading a book nearby
  • you noticed him before but didn’t think much of it. you didn’t think he’d say anything to you since he was reading
  • boY WERE YOU W RO NG
  • before you sat down, the guy started whooping near you, calling you a “lil snack”
  • activate V’s jealousy
  • he stood up to say something but you quickly shut him up by handing him your phone and one of your sandals
  • mc where are you going why’d you give me your sandal
  • with the other sandal, you made your way to the guy and
  • WHIPPED HIM SO HARD
  • OHMYGODMC
  • “BITCH CALL ME A SNACK ONE MORE TIME AND I’LL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR DICK. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT AS A SNACK, HUH??”
  • you wouldn’t stop hitting him until he started pleading mercy and V pulled you away
  • V was so amazed and proud he didn’t even think twice about kissing you right then and there
  • STAY AWAY FROM HIS MC YOU PIECE OF–
10 Space & Football Facts You Probably Didn’t Know

There are more connections between space and football than you may have originally thought. Here are a few examples of how…

1. The International Space Station and a football field are basically the same size

Yes, that’s right! The International Space Station measures 357 feet end-to-end. That’s almost equivalent to the length of a football field including the end zones (360 feet).

2. It would take over 4,000 footballs to fill the Orion spacecraft

Our Orion spacecraft is being designed to carry astronauts to deep space destinations, like Mars! It will launch atop the most powerful rocket ever built, the Space Launch System rocket. If you were to fill the Orion spacecraft with footballs instead of crew members, you would fit a total of 4,625!

3. Our new Space Launch System rocket is taller than a football field is long

We’re building the most powerful rocket ever, the Space Launch System. At its full height it will stand 384 feet – 24 feet taller than a football field is long.

4. The crew living on space station will see the day begin and end…twice…during the Super Bowl

An average NFL game lasts more than three hours. Traveling at 17,500 mph, the crew on the space station will see two sunrises and two sunsets in that time…they see 16 sunrises and sunsets each day!

5. Playing football on Mars would be…lighter

On Mars, a football would weigh less than half a pound, while a 200-pund football player would weigh just about 75 pounds.

6. It would take over 3,000 hours for a football to reach the moon

Talk about going long…if you threw a football to the moon at 60 mph, the average speed of an NFL pass, it would take 3,982 hours, or 166 days, to get there. The quickest trip to the moon was the New Horizons probe, which zipped pass the moon in just 8 hours 35 minutes on its way to Pluto 

7. The longest field goal kick in history would’ve been WAY easier to make on Mars

The longest field goal kick in NFL history is 64 yards. On Mars, at 1/3 the gravity of Earth, that same field goal, ignoring air resistance, could have been made from almost two football fields away (192 yards).

8. A quarterback would be able to throw even further on Mars

Aerodynamic drag doesn’t happen on Mars. With a very thin atmosphere and low gravity to drag the ball down, a quarterback could throw the football three times as far as he could on Earth. A receiver would have to be much further down the field to catch the throw 

9. Football players and astronauts both need to exercise every day

Football players must be quick and powerful, honing the physical skills necessary for their unique positions. In space, maintaining physical fitness is a top priority, since astronauts will lose bone and muscle mass if they do not keep up their strength and conditioning.

10. Clear team communication is important on the football field AND in space

During football games, calling plays and relaying information from coaches on the sidelines or in the booth to players on the field is essential. Coaches communicate directly with quarterbacks and a defensive player between plays via radio frequencies. They must have a secure and reliable system that keeps their competitors from listening in and also keeps loud fan excitement from drowning out what can be heard. Likewise, reliable communication with astronauts in space and robotic spacecraft exploring far into the solar system is key to our mission success.

A radio and satellite communications network allows space station crew members to talk to the ground-based team at control centers, and for those centers to send commands to the orbital complex.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

“Two Weeks”

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: A narrative that explores how Steve copes after your tragic death.

notes: implied character death (reader), a failed attempt at writing sad things

A/N: thank you to @buckyywiththegoodhair​ for beta-reading this mess. i adore you, and god rest this old bitch’s soul.

One week has passed since you left New York for a month-long guest curatorship in Germany. Before leaving, you kissed Steve goodbye and promised to return in one piece.

One week has passed since HYDRA agents infiltrated the museum. They put the entire museum on lockdown, claiming it had World War II documents that were essential to the HYDRA agenda. Even the Avengers wouldn’t stop their mission to obtain these documents, they declared.

One week has passed since a certain HYDRA agent recognized your face from a tabloid, the headline screaming “Captain America Finally Finds Love!” He also deduced your title as one of the United States’ leading experts on Nazi Germany. It was the perfect coincidence.

One week has passed since HYDRA attempted to use you as a bargaining tool. “Give up the documents, and we’ll let you go back to your precious boyfriend,” they said. Much to their surprise, behind your simple dress and ballet flats was a woman not afraid to kick men in the balls, both figuratively and literally. You proceeded to do the latter.

One week has passed since the Avengers compromised the guards and rescued most of the hostages at the museum. Only one remained, but when it became clear that they’re wouldn’t gain access to any of the documents, HYDRA decided to inflict pain in the best way they knew how - by taking away the remaining innocent life.

One week has passed since your tragic death.
One week has passed since Steve Rogers buried the love of his life.

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Hard To Tell - Jeff Atkins/Reader

chapter 6: confession

word count: 1890

tagged list: ( i have to work on this,, again )

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 ( you’re here! )

When you went to school the next day, you received stares. Does that come as a shock? When you were rifling through your locker, two hands were placed on your hips.

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  • Carrot: Mister Vimes… has done time.
  • Sally: What for?
  • Carrot: No one knows for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him.
  • Vimes: I tackled the King of the Dwarves.
  • Vimes: I went back in time and kicked my old sergeant in the balls.
  • Vimes: I fought the man who summoned the Dragon Queen.
  • Vimes: I killed a werewolf...with this thumb.
  • Carrot: Reg ran weapons for the resistance.
  • Sally: Which resistance?
  • Carrot: He won't say. Apparently they didn't win.
  • Carrot: Don't ever go to parties with Nobby Nobbs. He's been banned from the Mended Drum AND the Bunch of Grapes.
  • Carrot: Cheery there? Ran away from her house at twelve. Got hired by the Alchemists' Guild as an instructor. And then, she got fired for blowing up the Guild House three times in one day.
day6 ー at the club

jae :
• he’s too pure for this he swears
• apparently his grandma baptizing him repeatedly in their bath when he was 6 wasn’t enough
• he shot gunned 2 beers
• j a e n o
• why is he doing this to himself
• when he’s drunk he either gets really crazy and won’t stop screaming
• or
• he gets really emotional and performs extremely emo poems while sipping on vodka
• is he ok
• keeps calling younghyun ‘bRiOn’ to piss him off

Young K :
• jae keeps touching him
• ‘get ur filthy hands off of me you piece of filth. a plebeian like you does not deserve to touch royalty like me’
• hes fucking talented okay he plays professional musical triangle
• he’s just in the back,, playing his damn triangle
• younghyun
• ur literally a bassist
• shows off his biceps too much
• t o o m u c h
• jae : chOke mE // brian : i will if u continue calling me ‘bRiOn’

sungjin :
• bITCH GET READY FOR THE TIME OF UR LIFE
• FIVE SHOTS DOWN
• HES ALREADY ON THE DANCE FLOOR
• POPPING
• LOCKING
• AND DROPPING
• u c a n t s t o p h i m
• why would u want to tho
• wonpil, to brian : you want me to shut that down // brian : nah, i like it, let the little man dance
• jae just keeps encouraging him
• “yE yEEEE BoYY GET IT GET IT SUNGJIN GET THAT SHIZ”
• someone save him

wonpil :
• this flufffy ball of pureness doesn’t belong here
• tAKE HIM AWAY IMMEDIATELY
• I DEMAND U
• omg he keeps winking at random ppl
• his ultimate goal for the night is to go up and kiss as many strangers on the cheek as possible
• got vEry shy bc someone actually attended to kiss his lips while he was cheek kissing
• ran to jae
• is lying face down on a table
• nobody’s noticed yet
• hes jsut waiting to get kicked out of the club

dowoon :
• mAKNae
• the rest of the members are trying their hardest to protect him
• jae keeps back hugging him
• he’s so u n c o m f o r t a b l e
• lowkey enjoys it tho
• wOt dOes oN thE rOcKs mEan
• is showing off his abs
• younghyun this is ur fault
• sungjin is desperately trying to get him to stop lifting his shirt
• he won’t stop
• w h y
• he’s so shitfaced at the end of the night
• nobody expected it tbh
• cute giggly drunk

Betty’s a serpent

imagine betty being a serpent wife. like out at work/school all day but can put the serpents in their place 

bughead fanfiction

So I came up with this when the episode aired (like 3am my time) so here’s a fluffy fic about that. 

Also slightly A/U to the ending of the episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bell rang signalling the end of the day at Riverdale High. Betty Cooper gathered her books and headed to her locker by herself, missing the conversation she would normally have with her boyfriend Jughead Jones.

Just before FP was charged, he had managed to sign custody of Jughead over to fellow serpent Viper who promised to keep an eye on the teen. The younger Jones had also moved to Southside High and was back living at the trailer park. 

“hey betty wait up” Kevin Keller jogged to be next to her. “Archie, Ronnie and I are heading to Pop’s now, wanna come with?”

Betty shook her head as she twisted her locker combination and opened the door “Sorry Kev, I’ve got plans”

“we’ve hardly seen you in months, not after Jughead transferred. We just wana know how you’re doing” Kevin pushed on

“Really Kev I’m fine” he gave her a pointed look “I promise. I’ve just gotta help Polly with some baby things.”

“okay but next time you are so coming with us” he reached to hug her with one arm and walked away. Betty let go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding and after putting away what she needed to, slammed her locker and headed out to her car. 

~

Kevin walked into Pop’s to see Archie Andrews & Veronica Lodge cosied up in their usual booth. “please no more pda or I might puke” Kevin said sitting down on the opposite side to the new couple.

Veronica shuffled slightly further from Archie “Is Betty not coming?” Kevin shook his head no. “Has anyone really spoken to her after Jughead left?” This time both boys shook their heads no. 

“What about Polly? She’d know” Archie suggested

“Betty said she’s helping Polly with baby things, that’s why she can’t come” Kevin informed

“Really?” Archie asked “cos she’s heading in here with her mom” As if on cue, the bell rang at the door and in walked the other two Cooper women. Polly looked around and waved at the trio as they both walked to a booth. 

“Hey guys” Polly said standing at the end of the booth “how are you?” she addressed them all

“We’re good, you look gorgeous Polly” Veronica replied “Is everything okay with the babies?” 

“Both are healthy and growing as normal.”

“D’you know where Betty is? She said she’d be with you” Archie interrupted. Polly looked speechless then looks to Alice who called her back to their table. “So they’re definitely hiding something” he pointed out “maybe we should visit Jughead, see what he knows.”

“Are you insane Archie? My dad told us all to stay away from the South Side” Kevin whispered loudly 

“Come on Kev” Veronica started “It’s one time. Plus you know some of the gang from Joaquin right?” Kevin nodded slowly “Right let’s go then.” The three walked out and to Archie’s car, Kevin getting into the back and Veronica the front passenger side. 

It was a short drive over to the serpents hang out which had changed since Kevin & Archie’s last visit to a shadier part of town. Daylight was fading fast and the only streetlights working were at the end of the street. Kevin was the first to spot the bar pointing it out to his friends “over there.” The three walked to a corner building with a neon light of a snake which was the serpents logo and the word Scorpion in green.

“when did they move?” Archie wondered out loud

“Just after FP was arrested, Joaquin and I came for his goodbye gathering here. One of the second-in-commands, Viper I think his name was, he and his wife bought this place and re-did it all. A fresh start of sorts.” 

They were a few doors away when the door to Scorpion opened and a man flew out and fell to the ground and Veronica let out a loud gasp. “You know your limit Eli and you know not to mess with Jug’s girl” the person lying down groaned in response. The man standing in the doorway looked out and saw the three teenagers but went back inside instead of saying anything. 

When they walked into the bar, there was a large crowd around a pool table with people placing bets with each other raising by $5 every time. The trio walked round to see Jughead pot the black ball with a trick shot which earned a mix reaction of cheers and groans. Having not spotted them yet, the boy who was donning his very own leather jacket shouted “Alright so whose next?”

“how bout we make it interesting?” A female voice said coming from the bar “both our legacies deserve to find out whose better.” 

“I’m game if you are” Jughead said to someone who was being blocked by the rest of the patrons. The group assumed the other legacy agreed as the crowd cheered.

Viper came to the table “alright, FP Junior vs Ali Junior. Place your bets, this should be fun.” 

As the crowd moved towards Viper, Jughead approached who they assumed to be Ali Junior and kissed her. Kevin gasped grabbing onto Veronica’s arm who in turn wrapped hers around Archies and they all stood back further into the shadows to blend in.

~

Jughead had approached the girl nicknamed Ali Junior and kissed her “you sure about this Bets?” 

She nodded against his forehead and kissed him again grabbing the collar of his jacket. She pulled away and whispered in a low breath “I’m so gonna kick your butt”

The wolf whistles of the serpents broken them apart “alright kids save that for later” Viper said stashing the money in his back pocket “so whose breaking off?”

Jughead looked at Betty “age before beauty of course” he replied winking

Betty shook her head smiling walking to Viper, she pressed up against her boyfriend and leaned into his ear and said “you’re so gonna get it tonight”.

The others cheered her as she grabbed the triangle to rack up the balls. The blond placed herself on the opposite side of Jughead and leaned forward to break, hoping Jughead would get distracted by her cleavage which seemed to work. The couple continued playing the game like there was no one else in the room, teasing each other and stealing kisses whenever they could until the eight ball was left. 

Neither of them had pocketed the ball in the last couple of shots so the bets went up, more betting for Jughead to win. By this point Archie, Veronica & Kevin had made their way to the front but the two still hadn’t noticed. 
The couple shared a look and Jughead nodded ever so slightly at Betty who leaned over and angled the shot so it hit two sides before ending up in the top corner pocket. Everyone cheered for the blond who had now leapt into her boyfriends arms. Viper’s wife approached the couple with two bottles of beer and whispered something to them and suddenly they looked up at their three friends.

The room went silent with everyone’s attention now focused on the three strangers. Betty who was wearing her own honorary serpent jacket grabbed Jughead’s hand for courage who rubbed his thumb on the back of hers to help calm her down. “What are you guys doing here?” she asked with her best smile on

“We could ask you the same thing Betty” Archie said looking angry “You’re with the serpents now? This is where you’ve been, with these people, instead of hanging out with your friends? Does Alice even know where you are?”

The last question caused the rest of the bar to laugh, Viper was going to speak up but Betty shook her head and replied “These people Archie, are my friends. No not just friends, family. Mine and Jughead’s.”

“Betty these people are criminals” Veronica offered

“Oh and your dad’s not?” she snapped back which earned a few whistles from the gang “Archie my mom’s a south sider, you really think I’d be here if she didn’t trust them?”

The red haired boy looked confused so Viper spoke up “Little Ali was no stranger round here, she grew up at the same trailer park too. Her and FP always getting themselves in trouble. The serpents came naturally to most people at the park, so we snapped those two up as soon as possible. When we found out our boy Jughead here was dating her daughter, we gave her Ali’s old jacket” he pointed to what Betty was wearing 

“Really Betty? Is that what happened because we can take you home if you need a ride instead of staying with the scoundrels. Please B” Veronica pushed

“Watch you’re mouth princess” the voice of another serpent who walked out from the shadows

“Don’t talk to her like that” Archie jumped in 

“Yeah? Or what?” He challenged “You gonna run and tell daddy?” Archie lunged towards the snake attempting to punch him but missed and ended up with a punch to his stomach which sent him flying backwards slightly, the other’s around cheering. 

He grabbed Archie’s jacket and had started raising his fist to punch him when he heard Jughead shout “BP don’t do it” but he raised his fist even higher until the sharp voice of one Betty Cooper cut through the crowd 

“Buster Peters Specter you put him down right now” they all moved to show Betty standing with her hands on her hips Jughead smirking behind her. 

“you got off lucky kid” BP told the boy then dropped him to the floor as Veronica and Kevin rushed to see if he was okay. The older man looked up at Betty and tipped his backwards baseball cap “sorry miss betty” who in return nodded and he walked off. Jughead helped Archie off the floor “follow us” he said as he and Betty led their friends to a room upstairs. 

Jughead unlocked the door and walked in with Betty following, Veronica spotted that the name on the door said Cooper-Jones and showed it to Archie and Kevin behind her. Inside had a large desk which was covered with then teenagers homework, two laptops (one on each end of the desk), a filing cabinet and a three person sofa which was against the side wall, above was a photo of the couple with a white dog. Betty sat down behind the desk with Jughead leaning against the wall behind her.

“Sorry about BP, he’s very” Betty looked to Jughead for the right word

“Protective” he offered “always has been” Veronica scoffed 

“It’s true!” Betty insisted “he’s the oldest of five, his parents were’t really around so he basically raised his siblings himself so he prides himself on family. I’ll get him to apologize to you Arch.”

“What about you Bets? What about your family?”

“Jughead and the serpents are my family Arch. Mom and Polly know I’m here, dad knows I’m safe here”

“Safe?” Veronica exclaimed “these people are dangerous. Just look at Jughead’s dad”

“Don’t bring FP into this, your dad isn’t a saint either Veronica” Betty bit back

“Listen guys, I didn’t come here to fight” Kevin interrupted “Betty are you happy?” 

She looked at Jughead wearing a big smile and nodded “more than ever”

“In that case” Kevin continued “WE are very happy for you, aren’t we?”

Archie & Veronica looked defeated and nodded before Veronica added looking at Jughead “but if you ever do anything to hurt my girl, you’ll be sorry.”

“Don’t worry” Betty laughed “the serpents would get to him first. they like me better” which made the room laugh.

“What’s with the Cooper-Jones sign?” Archie wondered 

The couple looked between them before Betty pulled out a necklace with a silver ring on it. “Jughead proposed last month”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Should I continue?

UPDATED: (PART 2 HERE) (PART 3 HERE) (PART 4 HERE)

i was out for EIGHT HOURS playing pokemon go with my good friend who lets me use his hotspot, bless his heart

here’s some stories from today:

  • found a cp 1600 typhlosion. it ran away. yes i cried.
  • found a lapras in the water, we went to catch it. his was cp 1300. mine was ………33
  • at the pier where we caught the lapras, we met a dude who was also catching the lapras. he showed us his pokemon and we made friends. he then left, and came back excitedly to show us the shiny magikarp he caught!
  • found a random charizard just chillin out behind the library. it wasnt the best one but like. charizard, dude!
  • met an old lady named linda who was also playing pokemon go. she is apparently super in to it, level 33, trying to complete her dex. we walked and talked while we played, and she pointed out a dragonite. i was sad cuz my friend had left at this point so i couldnt catch it. but she was kind enough to let me use her hotspot to capture it!!!!
  • and if that isnt fuckin cool enough, the dragonite wouldnt let itself be captured y my ultra balls or great balls, i ran out of all of them, as well as my razz berries. i was hopelessly throwing pokeballs at it and yes. i caught it!!! (good karma is coming for linda!! i hugged her)
  • went to the park to take over some gyms with friend. dude who was fighting our valor gym overheard me planning out how i was gonna fight it, and he said from like. twenty feet away “just let me put my pokemon in so i can get the coins, then you can kick me out!” on his way out, he winked to us and said “dont be too rough on him~,” in reference to his machoke!

some unrelated but still nice stories from my adventure too:

  • met a cute cat with no tail who kept meowing at me!
  • petted three dogs
  • ran in to an old friend while we were recharging our devices in starbucks
  • saw a cute gay couple
  • managed to walk all the way up our intense death hill without deciding to ride the bus

so yeah!! pokemon go brings people together, gets this depressed poor person outside, and makes me happy

Season's Beatings

Words: 2477
Warnings: Bullying, Blood, Self-Hate, Being Beaten, Transphobia, Misgendering,
Inspired by: @bunny-yams Hamilton Highschool AU

Alex waited for Lafayette to be done changing from his cheer uniform. He had to say goodbye before running off to his quick after school choir practice. That and the fact that John and Thomas should be coming by soon to get ready for their football practice.

“Alex!” Lafayette called, walking out of the change room. Alex came over, giving him a quick hug.

“Good job today, but you stink,” Alex scrunched his nose, playfully hitting Lafayette’s arm. “Go home and shower,” he added.

“I’m hurt,” Lafayette joked, his accent thick (thicc). “Do you want me to walk you to choir?” He asked, tightening his ponytail a bit.

“I think I know the way,” Alex laughed, turning away from the much taller man. “See you tomorrow!” He waved, leaving the changing room area. He would have waited for his boyfriends but he didn’t want to be late for the meeting. They were planning what songs to do at the up coming competition and Alexander wanted to be there.

He took a left from the gym, walking down a beige tiled hall with orange and blue lockers lining the walls. He always hated the horrible, inconsistent pattern of the colours, and just how bad they were. He took a right at the end of the hall, stopping when he heard a voice.

“Well well well, if it isn’t our favourite little girl,” A voice rang out in the quiet hall. Alex turned to see James Reynolds along with some other most likely sophomores. He took a step back, almost tripping, but trying to hide it.

“What the fuck do you want Reynolds?” He spoke, trying to hide his fear. He’s been beat up many times, and while he didn’t like to back down, the beatings hurt.

“Oh, that’s no way to talk, don’t I spend so much time with you? And I haven’t gotten to much recently because of some people, ” James answered, poison seeping into his words.

“Just leave me alone, I have somewhere to be,” Alex spoke, quickly turning in hopes of getting away. He was near the gym, so if he could get past them he could go back to see if Lafayette was still there. But there were four of them, and only one him.

“Not so fast, I haven’t had fun yet,” James hissed, grabbing Alex’s shoulder and pushing him into the lockers. He punched Alex roughly in his stomach, making Alexander hunch over in pain.

One of the other guys pushed Alex over while another stepped on his arm, making Alex let out a sound of pain. He’s learned to hide it over the many beatings, cries it only encouraged them more.

“I’d kick you in the nuts, but you don’t have any because you’re just a girl, and that’s all you’ll ever be,” James spat. He leaned down, picking Alex up by the top of his shirt and glaring as his jacket.

“To think someone would ever actually love you? They’re just using you, because why not. You’re just a whore’s son, and a whore yourself,” He said in Alex’s face. Alex tried to hold back the tears but it hurt, both physically and emotionally.

“Aw look, the little girl is crying,” James mocked, making the others laugh as he threw Alex to the ground. Alex gasped for air, having the wind knocked out of him. He attempted to get away, kicking towards the guys while holding his injured arm to his chest.

One of the guys grabbed Alex’s hair, pulling him back as he cried out in pain. Tears were falling down his face as he threw his limbs around in an attempt to escape.

“So pathetic,” One of the guys said as they took turns kicking him.

“J-j-John, Th-o-mas!” Alex cried, curling himself up into a ball as the continued to beat him.

“You really think that’ll scare us, it’s after school,” James laughed as he pulled Alex by his hair once more so he was looking at him. Alexander had tears down his face as James stared at him with a smirk. “No one is here for you, you’ll always be alone,” He spat out, pushing Alex’s head back into the lockers. Alex let out a cry, biting his tongue harshly as his mouth bled. Upon impact with the corner of the metal locker Alex’s head gashed open, some blood seeping through and trickling down his forehead.

James stopped while the other guys kept beating on Alex, hearing heavy footsteps from down the hall. He didn’t want to beat the scene if someone was coming, so they couldn’t link him to the attack, so he turned and quickly left. He disappeared down the hall, most likely leaving the school.

John was the first to turn the corner, rage filling him as he saw Alex curled up into himself being beaten on by three men in his and Thomas’ year.

He didn’t even wait for anything, jumping on one of the and punching him in the face as hard as he could. Thomas ran around the corner, grabbing another one of the guys and beating on him. He quickly let go of him though as he saw the third guy trying to run away. He ran after him down the halls as John pushed the other guy to the ground.

He carefully walked over to Alex, not touching him yet because he didn’t know how hurt he was or if Alex even knew he was there.

“Alex, open your eyes, please. It’s me, John,” He spoke softly. Alex slowly opened his eyes, tears falling out of them. He rarely got beaten even close to how bad this one was, often it was a couple or small to medium beatings in a few days.

“Hey, you’re safe now, okay,” John whispered, gently wiping away Alex’s tears. He expected Thomas would get some adult to deal with this, it’s the only way to truly stop the beatings. “Can you stand?” He asked Alex, kneeling beside him.

Alex shook his head, wincing as he moved slightly. “Let’s clean you up okay?” John said. He carefully went to pick Alex up, stopping even time Alex’s breath jumped or he made any noise. Alex was always trying to play down any beating and stay quiet and he never really spoke about how much pain he was in.

John carried Alex to the nearest bathroom, bringing him into the boys even though the school doesn’t really want Alex in there. Thomas and John never cared though, always telling him to go in. He’s a boy, so he should be in the boy’s bathroom.

John placed Alex on the sink counter, turning on the tap beside him. Alex had yet to talk, looking at the ground as more tears fell. John wanted to hug him but didn’t want to hurt him more.

He got some paper towel from the dispenser and placed it under the now warm water. He first went to the cut on Alex’s forehead, dabbing it gently as Alex let out a slight hiss. John wiped up the slowly drying blood and went on to the cut on Alexander’s lip which wasn’t as bad.

He noticed that Alex was holding his right arm close to his chest. “Can you take your jacket off?” He asked quietly. He new Alex didn’t even like to take it off when he wasn’t hurt and he hated showing his marks from the beatings. Alex didn’t want to a first but gave in because he didn’t have the energy to fight. He painfully slipped it off, revealing the old bruises on his arms. His wrist was already quite swelled and red. John, having taken first aid, looked at it carefully.

“I think it’s sprained, we should probably get some ice soon,” He spoke. He looked at Alex’s other arm, seeing some more red marks where bruises will probably form with a pain in his heart. He wanted to do so much more to those guys then what he had done.

John put his hand at the bottom of Alex’s shirt to ask for permission to look at his stomach. From all of Alex’s wincing from every movement of his stomach, it was obvious it was harmed. He lifted up Alex’s shirt slightly to see the marks left behind from the punches and kicks. John wanted to cry when he saw that, and he knew they were going to look worse and they formed into bruises.

John placed a loving kiss on Alex’s lips, holding in the tears. He pulled back, staring at Alex with sadness and love. He loved him so much. John gently ran his fingers through Alex’s soft hair, pulling back when Alex winced again.

“How about we go find Thomas and get some ice?” He spoke, handing Alex back his jacket. Alex didn’t move from his spot, staring blankly at the wall.

“H-he’s going t-t-to know,” Alex stuttered out.

“Who is going to know what?” John asked, confused if what Alex was attempting to say.

“I tr-tried hard-d to h-h-hide it, b-but now G-G-G-George will know-w,” He mumbled, balling his left hand into a fist.

“Hey, if he knows he can help, right?” John said, placing his hands on Alex’s legs softly. “He can help stop it,”

“He’ll-ll s-s-see me as weak-k,” Alex mumbled, not looking at John.

“Hey,” John lifted Alex’s head up slightly, “You’re anything but weak, from everything that has been thrown at you and you can still manage to smile,” John smiled sadly, kissing Alex softly once again. “Now do you want you jacket?” He said in a more up beat tone, helping Alex put his jacket on once again.

John piggy backed Alexander back to where he first found him, where Thomas was with a teacher and a janitor who was cleaning the ground of the blood that was dripped on it.

Thomas walked over, kissing both John and Alex quickly on the cheek. The teacher came walking over behind him, “I can see from the cut that something happened, but can you confirm that you were beat by the three sophomores Thomas has said?” She asked Alex who was slightly hiding into John'a neck.

He stayed silent for a moment before talking, “There was four,” He mumbled.

“Four?” Thomas and John asked, both looking confused.

Alex nodded a bit before speaking again, “James, James Reynolds was there, he’s the one that pushed me into the locker to cut my head,” He stated, looking up from John’s neck.

“But Thomas didn’t say he saw him,” The teacher spoke.

“He ran when he heard John and Thomas running down the halls,” Alex answered, not liking all the attention he was getting. It was the wrong kind of attention, not the good kind.

“We’ll question James and the other boys, but since there is no witness here for James he might not get in trouble,” The teacher admitted.

Alex bit his already injured lip, not caring about the pain. He just sadly nodded and leaned his head against John, making sure to not hit his cut. “Let’s get you some ice,” John spoke before starting to walk down the halls with Thomas behind him, leaving the teacher with the janitor.

“I’ll call Mr. Washington for a ride,” Thomas spoke, and John could feel Alex tense but said nothing. The trio walked to the office and go a bag of ice from the secretary. Alex held it on his wrist as they waited for George to arrive to drive the three of them home. Thomas texted home to say the he and John didn’t need a ride home from football before turning his full attention to Alex.

He sat between the two guys, leaning on Thomas because he was in the side that didn’t have a giant gash on his forehead. He was sleepy but the constant pain and the freezing ice kept him awake.

When George pulled up, Thomas picked Alex up bridal style and carried him to the car. They could see the confusion and worry in George’s eyes but didn’t say anything at first. Thomas got in the back with Alex as John sat up front. Alex was placed in the middle so he could lean on Thomas for the ride home.

George gave John a concerned look a John let out a sigh, “He got beaten up badly by some dicks, excuse my language, but nothing is broken on needing stitches,” He got the main questions out of the way. George was still vary worried and lost but he just drove the trio to his house.

When they arrived Thomas went to carry Alex into the house but George took him from him. Alex didn’t do anything because he just hurt and somewhat wanted to die at that moment.

George took Alex up to his room, telling John to grab the first aid kit and for Thomas to grab some more ice. They did as they were told, bring the items to George in Alex’s room. They sat on the end of the bed as George took care of Alex, bandaging up his forehead cut and wrapping ace bandages around his wrist. He gave Alex some pain medicine and the younger boy slowly drifted off to sleep.

“How long has this been happening?” He asked the two boys who were still him the room.

“We’ve know for a little bit, but he said they were never that bad and we were protecting him during school. We didn’t think they’d come after school. We’re so sorry,” Thomas mumbled and John agreed. They were both nervous of what George would do but also guilty, knowing that they should have spoken up sooner and that they should have protected Alex better.

George sighed, placing his hand gently on Alex’s shoulder, “He probably told you not to tell didn’t he,” He said sadly, “Thank you for protecting him though.” He added, which only confused John and Thomas. They thought he was going to snap. George stood up, grabbing the first aid kit and walking towards the door, “if anything else like this happens though, let me know.” He ended strongly, leaving the room without another word.

Alex partially woke up from the sound of the door closing, “Tommy? John?” He mumbled, looking around with semi opened eyes.

“Yes, love?” Thomas asked as the two boys turned their attention to Alex.

“Cuddle me,” The younger boy mumbled, reaching out towards his boyfriends. They both laughed softly, knowing he was out of it because of the pain killers. They both crawled over to him on either side, holding him close.

The three of them fell asleep in each other’s arms, finally feeling safe and at home.

EXO react when their kid hits them in the nuts

yeah this is weird but i’m weird af so it’s okie :)


Sehun:*screamed when his kid accidentally threw a ball at his balls but turned the scream into a high note so his kid laughed and didn’t feel bad that he caused immense damage to his dad’s genitalia*


Kai:*he’s so great with kids that when his son threw a toy at his crotch he hid the pain in his eyes, blinked the tears back and laughed along with his smiling child bc he a gr8 dad ok find a better one*


Tao:*silently wiped tears away after his daughter launched a water bottle at him, hitting him right in the nuts. He turned to you with the saddest look on his face you’d ever seen and said:*

“Y/N in the unlikely event my balls can still produce kids after this ordeal, and as much as I love this one, we are not having more”


D.O:*his kid was sitting on his lap and whilst trying to get comfy accidentally punched him in the crotch. He turned round, smiling through the pain, to see you laughing uncontrollably as you’d had full view of the whole thing*


Chanyeol:*you heard him yelling from three rooms away, and when you went in to see what the hell the problem was you saw Chan lying on the floor cry-laughing whilst your son was standing looking down at him in bewilderment, not aware he’d just kicked his dad right in the nuts*


Chen:*y’all were on a family trip out and it was bloody freezing, so Jongdae opened his coat for his daughter to snuggle into. Only she may have wacked him in the balls whilst doing so, but since you were in public he couldn’t make noise so he stood there with this face for like ten minutes trying to recover*


Baekhyun:*was being attacked by your two sons, one trapping him in a headlock the other trying to tickle him but accidentally elbowing him in the nuts instead. You watched the whole thing in amusement and pride that you were raising two kids that could defeat Byun Baekhyun*


Lay:*loves his daughter to death but even his patience was wearing thin with her when she’d decided it would be hilarious to try and punch her dad in the crotch. Once she succeeded he lifted her up, placed her on your lap and left the room to go recover*

“Papa’s leaving it’s mother-daughter bonding time now”


Suho:*your daughter was having a tantrum and was throwing toys and books around her room, whilst Junmyeon was trying to calm her sassy ass tf down. However he happened to be in range of the next book that came flying through the air, the edge just hitting him in the nuts and he winced in pain*

“I’m fine :)”


Kris:*despite the ungodly pain, he was quick to forgive his daughter when she hit him right in the nuts with a toy, since it was an accident and you admired how well-natured he is with her top dad no.2 here*


Luhan:*a total drama queen when his daughter punched him in the balls by accident, and he spent the day contemplating everything*

Y/N:“Lu you’ve been staring into space all da-”

L:“Shh a great mind is at work here”


Xiumin:*he’s so patient and good-natured that he barely reacted when your son elbowed him in the nuts whilst climbing all over his lap. He simply flinched and continued playing with him bc super dad 3.0 lol as you giggled at the whole thing*


I don’t own the gifs, credit to respective owners

George Weasley x Reader: Gifts

AN: It tisn’t the season but who doesn’t love the holidays? ;) I just want to say thank you for all of your patience! There should be another fic this week as well!

Request: Anonymous

Warnings: N/A

Christmas Eve at the Weasley’s was a magical, truly magical, event. Arthur would chop down a large tree from the forest off of Ottery St. Catchpole, and Charlie and Bill would help him drag it inside. Percy and Mrs. Weasley took great care in stringing the lights and decking the branches with ornaments and glittery tinsel. Bill would pull Ginny on his shoulders and she would place the star on top, while Ron brought out the gifts to place underneath the tree. The twins enchanted a toy train to huff and puff on the rug before the fireplace, and everyone was in high spirits as snow drifted in sheets in the yard.

Y/N had experienced this merriment once before, but it seemed to be just as special the next year. Afterall, she had started dating George on Christmas Eve and she looked forward to their private celebration on the rooftop at midnight. While sometimes she felt out of place, the Weasley’s always made her feel welcome and right at home. The bunch gathered around the supper table - all of the redheads, Hermione, Harry and Y/N included. Mrs. Weasley prepared a very succulent roast ham, as well as whipped potatoes, roasted chestnuts, and a lovely pecan pie. The room was filled with noise, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t filled with cheer.

“It looks delicious, Mrs. Weasley, really.” Y/N said, placing her napkin in her lap.

“Oh, thank you dear.” She replied, sitting down herself. “I do hope I made enough for everyone.”

Arthur Weasley was already three bites into his slice of ham. Always very intrigued with Y/N, for she came from a half muggle family, he started conversation right away.

“What is it that you called the game with the ball on the ground? And the kicking?” He asked, spitting bits of food about. Mrs. Weasley looked disgruntled.

“Football, Mr. Weasley. The Americans call it soccer. They have a world cup every few years, just like Quidditch.” Y/N replied.

“Yeah, dad. Y/N and her family got seats right next to the muggle Prime Minister!” Ron said, excitedly.

Y/N flushed a deep red.

“I-It was an h-honor.” She stammered. “I am grateful for that opportunity.”

Arthur smiled pleasantly, and went back to his food. Catching a knowing glance from Harry, Y/N’s eyes focused on her food. Y/N’s family was very wealthy, in contrast to the Weasley’s. While she knew that neither party had any qualms about the other, she didn’t like to flaunt her wealth. She thought that it was tacky.

“Next month you’re going to see the Weird Sisters in concert aren’t you, Y/N?” Bill asked, excitedly. “Fred said that you’d got backstage passes!”

Y/N almost choked on her potatoes, but swallowed quickly and dabbed at her lip with her napkin. All pairs of eyes at the table were on her.

“Y-Yes.” She said, quietly. “I feel very fortunate.”

Dinner progressed, and Y/N found herself saying very little. She hadn’t found a balance between being ashamed about her wealth and being too haughty. It seemed as though the differences between the families were shockingly obvious. Students at school who were particularly nasty would taunt George about it, and while he put on a brave face, Y/N knew he felt a little embarrassed. Her clothes were always brand new, in comparison to the Weasley’s hand-me-downs. Her potions equipment was bronzed, and her cauldron was top quality. Many of the Weasley children had to share equipment, and Ron’s cauldron was being held together by spell-o-tape.

After their meal was finished, Fred and Harry helped Mr. Weasley clean up the table, and Mrs. Weasley served the pie. Once everyone was full, they all sat by the fire and watched the train whistle. Gradually everyone slipped off to bed, except for George and Y/N.

“I’m almost ready to head out to the roof, I just have to put some finishing touches on your gift.” George said.

He hadn’t said much at dinner, refusing to make eye contact with Y/N after Ron and Bill’s display. He ate his food quietly, and seemed rather jumpy when Fred tried to coax a conversation out of him. Y/N worried she had said something to upset him, and that she had ruined their one-year anniversary. As he scampered up the stairwell, Y/N pulled out her gift to him.

It was wrapped very neatly, in red and white paper. Little holiday sayings littered the wrappings and they were enchanted to glow brightly in the dim lighting. The ribbon was curled expertly, and she had carefully scrawled his name on the tag in her best print: “Georgie <3”. She put it behind her back, and carefully climbed the staircase, ducking out the window to the roof.

George was having a minor nervous breakdown in him and Fred’s room. While Fred was in his underpants, flopped over on the bed and snoring peacefully, George rushed about the room, ruffling paper and craft supplies. He tried his best to dress up the gift, but no matter how hard he tried, it looked pathetic. The package was made of three different wrapping papers, spell-o-tape binding everything together. Multiple different Santa Clauses waved merrily at him, some in sleighs, some carrying sacks, and all bumping into each other from the wrapping job. George winced, hoping that the darkness of the night would work in his favor.

He crawled out onto the pitch of the house, and stopped dead in his tracks. Y/N was sitting, her legs dangling off of the side, and George was completely speechless. The stars looked like they sparkled in her y/h/c hair perfectly, but their shine was lackluster compared to her y/e/c eyes. They glimmered in the night like expensive jewels. When she turned to look at him, she smiled and his heart stopped completely. Y/N was the most fantastic girl in the world and his stomach trembled at what she would think of his gift.

“Georgie, open yours first!” Y/N said, excitedly shoving her package into his lap as soon as he sat down.

He chuckled, trying to relax his nerves, and ran a hand through his wild auburn hair. He held the package between his hands and Y/N snuggled into his arm. His brown eyes danced into half-moons with adoration at his lovely girlfriend. George opened the package very carefully, lifting up the tape in a way that did not rip the parchment. Y/N watched his every move with excitement.

When he finally got the wrapping off, he put the ribbon and paper to the side, saving it because he thought it was beautiful. There was a lump of shockingly green fabric. Curious, he tugged it upwards and the cloth unfurled. It was a jersey from the Irish National Quidditch Team, and for the second time that night he was speechless.

“Y/N… love…” He croaked, once he was able to get a word out.

“Look at the back Georgie!” She squealed with excitement.

He turned it around, and noticed a dark and messy scrawl on a bit of the back. His name was there, written along with a short note and a sloppy signature. George felt as if electricity was surging through his veins. He was so excited and at the same time so reluctant to give his gift to Y/N. She watched him very cautiously with bated breath, afraid that she had shamed him with her extravagant gift.

“It’s… Barry Ryan…” George murmured.

Y/N became limp. Was it the Keeper that he liked or was it one of the Chasers?

“Th-That’s your favorite right? Ryan’s the one you like?” She questioned, wanting to make sure.

“Yeah… he signed it… for me?” George said, exasperated.

“Do you like it?” Y/N asked.

“It’s… so perfect.” George said.

His cheeks were dusted with pink as he brought his gift from behind his back to show her. Y/N did indeed notice the wrapping, but she thought it couldn’t have been more perfect. It showed that George really tried to make it look presentable for her, and that he’d worked so very hard on it. She took it from him carefully, and exercised the same amount of caution that he did while opening it. Y/N placed every scrap of paper in a neat pile by her side, saving them.

Because she thought it was beautiful.

As she tore away piece by piece she slowly uncovered the present that was waiting for her. On the top was fabric as well. She unraveled it to find a beautiful white scarf, made out of very soft material. Below it was a small, leather bound book. The front was painted with wildflowers, and as she thumbed through it, she saw that most of the pages were blank and lined. The first few pages had been written in.

George had written her a love note and pasted in a photograph of the pair. In it, Y/N was sitting on George’s lap, smiling and chattering with their friends. His arms were wrapped around her, and he planted a kiss on her cheek, looking at her as if she was the most entrancing thing in the entire world.

Y/N was confused. Flourish and Blotts didn’t sell journals like this. Their journals were spiral bound, and made of much denser paper.

“Georgie…” Y/N said, softly.

George was ready to rip his hair from his head. She had gone to all of this trouble to get this signed for him and what had he gotten her? A bloody notebook and scarf.

“I know, it’s not much.” George said, pulling her into his lap. “And I’m really, really sorry. I took some odd jobs to try and save for something really nice, but…”

Y/N put her hand over his mouth.

“George, where did you get this notebook?” She asked.

He shifted uncomfortably.

“I, erm.” He seemed to not want to tell her.

She waited patiently, staring down at the cover in her hands.

“I made it.” He said. “I know you love to write. And-and I like to hear your poems and stories. So I bought the leather myself, and I… I… I painted the cover, and bound it as best as I could so nothing would fall out, and I know sometimes you’re timid about starting new things so I put a little note in there to encourage you.”

Y/N was still silent.

“And I know you’ve been eyeing that scarf in the window of Madame Malkin’s for weeks now, and I really hoped that you hadn’t gone in to buy it yet so I asked Madame Malkin to save it for me when I had the money to buy it.”

Y/N was filled to the brim with emotions, and tears started to drip from her eyes. George craned his neck to see what her expression was, and felt like his heart was stomped flat when he saw her crying.

“Oh, Y/N! Shh, shh love, I’m so SO sorry.” He said, hushing her and squeezing her tight. “I’m- I’m,”

“George this is the greatest gift I have ever gotten.” She said, quietly.

He stopped stuttering and held a look of confusion.

“Come again?” He said, blankly.

“No one has ever put this much thought into a gift for me before. George, I can’t believe you bought my favorite scarf, and the- the journal, it’s so wonderful. I love you so much, darling.” Y/N explained, tears of joy dropping wildly from her eyes.

George was so relieved he almost passed out – or passed away. He pulled Y/N back and kissed her firmly on the lips. She laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes, and the two watched the moon sail over the stars as they held each other close.

here in the grass with you

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina

Words: 4,690

Tags: One-Shot, Porn Without Plot, Porn With Feelings, Fighting, Blowjob, Minor Character Death (It’s not anyone we know from the cast, it’s Tobio’s old judo teacher, don’t worry lol)


Kageyama punched Hinata in the face, then whirled around and kicked him in the ribs, sending him flying onto his back. Hinata landed with an oof, then a snarl, and he sprang back up. He dashed in close, raised his arm to block Kageyama’s left hook, jabbed in with his own slug right to Kageyama’s belly. Body shot. Kageyama gasped, groaned, rolled away from the hit. He danced on the balls of his feet, bounced side to side, arms raised around his head. He narrowed his eyes at Hinata, murderous intent pouring from him. Hinata looked back at him with just as much wild, manic energy.

    “Okay, everyone! That’s enough for today. Wrap it up!”

    Kageyama and Hinata relaxed at once, lowering their fists. They took off their padded sparring helmets and gloves, bowed to each other, then bowed with the rest of their judo class to the teacher at the front of the room. “Thank you, sensei!” the students called.

    The teacher dismissed them, then took her bag and left. Kageyama and some others gathered at one end of the room, chatting in low voices. A few of them were complimenting Kageyama’s skills, and he accepted the compliments with silent gratitude, a little awkward around the others. Some of the students in the class with him were younger, but most were a few years older, some even full grown adults. They praised aspects of his sparring like his sturdiness and strength. He just thought he’d been too stiff.

    “Oi, Kageyama.”

    Kageyama’s face clouded, and the room stilled. The people talking to Kageyama went quiet. He looked up from his bag.

    Hinata Shoyou stood over him, bag already slung over his shoulder. His gi hung open at the front, his arms crossed over his bare chest. He was breathing hard, beads of sweat glinting on his forehead. Kageyama stared at him coolly, hoping his own perspiration wasn’t obvious. Around them, a small crowd of the other students silently gathered. He ignored them. He had eyes only for Hinata.

    “When are you going to beat me for real, Kageyama?”

    A muffled chorus of oohhs came from the younger students, and the older adults chuckled.

    But then Kageyama dropped his bag and stood to his full height, his legs planted firmly, fists clenched, shoulders broad and hunched with power, and the snickering laughs choked off. Most of them had never sparred with Kageyama Tobio before. Most weren’t good enough. Most were too afraid. Only one ever sparred with him, the only one Kageyama bothered to pair with. Hinata. But the rest of them still recognized the power in his body, the latent strength lurking in his muscles that, when he took his stance, radiated from him like an aura of death.

     Everyone instinctively backed away. Only Hinata still stood in front of him, arms crossed, staring straight up at him, unfazed by Kageyama’s height or strength. To him, they were only obstacles. Something to climb. Kageyama’s lip curled.

    “I can beat you anytime you’d like, dumbass,” Kageyama said, planting his hands on his hips, casual as could be. All his awkwardness was gone. Everyone knew of the rivalry between these two. It seemed like Hinata was the only person Kageyama could talk to without any anxiety, but was also the only person Kageyama strove the most to best in every single lesson.

    “How about right now, Bakayama?” Hinata’s face was flushed, and his eyes gleamed. Kageyama knew the others couldn’t see it, couldn’t detect the subtle shift, but he could. Hinata’s entire body practically vibrated with an energy that wanted release. Kageyama hated to admit it, but his stamina was nothing compared to Hinata’s. How he could keep going was beyond understanding.

    But if Hinata wanted to fight, who was Kageyama to say no?

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the married life (vampire!yoongi au)

summary: being married is never a bore when your husband is a vampire king + inspired by  “Stop calling me Princess!” “I apologize, my Queen.”

relationship: yoongi x reader

words: 11,361 (WHY)

warnings: mentions of blood/blood drinking of course, yoongi is bad at cooking, you being exasperated with your husband, implications of sex.

Originally posted by lethargicmin

a/n: something I started during halloween last year but never finished. happy birthday suga… I guess?


Your married friends had to deal with a lot of things; their husbands didn’t clean up after themselves, the sex was bad, or maybe they were too stubborn. And sure, you felt sorry for them, but you couldn’t exactly say you understood them either. If anything, the problems you had with Min Yoongi were… extraordinary. And the sex was never bad. But he was a little shit though.

From the moment that Min Yoongi had come into your life five years ago to now, there was nothing you could say you regretted. From the initial dislike, to the confusion, to the intrigue, to the fondness of friendship turning into something more, he had left you with something your friends could, unfortunately, never attest to: the feeling of a thousand years on his part of dormant love waiting for you that no one could ever ruin or one-up. How you got to this point, however, was quite the mirthful fairytale.


five years ago.

“You’re new here, right?

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