not exactly happy with the outcome

Lucky 💫

“Um, Malfoy,” Harry muttered. “What are you doing?” Baffled, he looked at the Slytherin, who didn’t seem to be concerned at all.

“I’m resting. I’m so tired,” Malfoy mumbled, eyelids fluttering shut. He did sound pretty sleepy. Harry blinked as Malfoy’s lips stretched into a soft, contented smile.

“Okay,” Harry said slowly. “But why are you resting on my lap?”

“Why not?” Malfoy replied. “Seems like a good place to me.”

Harry stiffened as Malfoy turned his head and snuggled into him. What was he playing at?

“Oi, Harry!” Harry looked up. Seamus had just entered the eighth year common room and was grinning at him. “Don’t you two look cosy,” he said with a wink. Harry blushed and tried to move his legs but Malfoy was just too heavy.

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Harry murmured. What had gotten into Malfoy?

“And then we have to get started on Transfiguration but first we have to- Oh!” Hermione stopped dead behind Seamus. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her, her studying schedule obviously forgotten. If only momentarily. Ron, who had seemed rather displeased with his girlfriend’s evening plans a second ago, suddenly had a weird glint in his eyes.

Harry watched his friends and was shocked when Hermione clutched her chest and put her other hand on Ron’s arm. He smiled at her and nodded.

“I thought something like this might happen,” he snickered.

“What?” Harry spluttered. When Pansy came into sight, a knowing grin on her face,  Harry felt like they were all in on a joke he didn’t get. “Can somebody please tell me what is going on?”

“Shhhhh,” came from Harry’s lap. “Trying to sleep here, remember?”

Harry eyed Malfoy suspiciously. He had to admit, he might have reacted a little differently if they had been alone. It was a bit sudden, but he wasn’t all that opposed to Malfoy lying on his lap.

Harry’s eyes darted to his friends again when Hermione leaned over to Pansy and whispered something to her. Looking exasperated, Pansy nodded. Harry still wasn’t used to the fact that they were all getting along so well now. Pansy could be fun but, still, Harry was a bit wary around her.

He kept his eyes on her as Hermione strode over to him.

“Don’t be mad,” she told him. Harry frowned.

“What did you do?”

“Well…” She looked at him sheepishly. “It’s more what I didn’t do.”

Harry looked at her, puzzled. She leaned closer to him and dropped her voice to a whisper.

“I didn’t stop Pansy, when she stole something from Slughorn’s personal stores and put it into Malfoy’s tea this morning.”

Harry’s frown deepened.

“What did she put in his tea?”

Hermione bit her lip and put a hand on his shoulder.

“We just felt like he deserved a good day for once. He’s been through so much.” She gazed at Malfoy thoughtfully. “That’s not to say you haven’t been having a hard time, either,” she added hastily. “But Pansy thought you might… benefit from it as well. Seems like she was right.”

Harry looked between Malfoy and Hermione, not understanding what she was telling him. It must have shown on his face. Hermione sighed and shook her head.

“Felix Felicis, that’s what Pansy put in his drink.”

Harry’s mouth dropped open.

“That’s why he’s being so weird?”

“You were weird, too, when you took it in sixth year,” Hermione reminded him.

Yeah, Harry mused, it had been a strange experience. He had felt so happy and cheerful, like nothing could go wrong. And, somehow, he had known exactly what he had to do to get… to get what he wanted.

Oh!

Harry’s eyes darted back to Malfoy, who was still smiling contentedly with his eyes closed. Harry wondered what would have happened if his friends had given him the potion, instead of Malfoy. He doubted things would have been this forward but, maybe, it would have had a similar outcome.  

Ignoring the fact that everyone in the room was watching him, he slowly raised his hand and ran his fingers through Malfoy’s hair. The Slytherin let out a long sigh that made the corners of Harry’s mouth twitch.

As he sat there, stroking Malfoy’s hair and marvelling at the fluttery feeling in his stomach, Harry thought it was lucky he and Malfoy apparently wanted the same thing.

i think there’s one important fact people need to know about the jinki situation

whatever jinki did, it was enough to warrant a police report and the victim to try and press charges. we don’t know what happened, but it was serious enough that charges were pressed and the police conducted an investigation into the matter. it’s also important to note that neither sm or jinki have denied it happened– they just aren’t saying what happened exactly, only saying that it wasn’t intentional. whether or not you want to try and process that is up to you.

no matter what the outcome is, jinki still did something to make that girl uncomfortable enough that she initially pressed charges. if she really decided on her own to drop the charges, then i’m really happy that they managed to sort the issue out between them. however, he still fucked up, and that’s not okay. if he gets like this when he drinks, he shouldn’t be drinking anymore. period. the best case outcome for this, if it really is like sm says, is that jinki takes this as a cold lesson on his behavior and how to better control himself if alcohol does these kinds of things to him.

on top of that, i just hope that girl is okay. i’m wishing her the absolute best, and i hope she’s doing alright. please don’t defend him– we may not know what he did, but he did enough that she felt she was justified in filing charges against him, and that’s just not okay.

if you really love jinki as a fan and you are going to continue to support him, support him not drinking anymore and never doing this type of thing again. ever. and don’t defend him or victim blame. these are the kinds of things that prevent victims from speaking out. if you’re a real fan, you’ll know not to excuse him. thank you.

takestheweatherpersonally  asked:

Hello! I have a character who's five years old and I was wondering what difference that makes medically, if that makes sense? Both like how medical workers will act with her and explain things given she's very young and how that would factor into her medical care, like basic checkups or diagnosing illnesses and stuff like that. Sorry if this is too broad or vague, and thank you for all you do!

Hey there! Congrats on being Janey on the spot with the inbox and  being the first ask of June! 

So, one quick note. I come from EMS, and particularly now from a critical care service that handles a lot of kids. But I’m assuming for the purpose of this ask that this child is not and has never been critically ill. Okay? Okay! 

Pediatrics is its own specialty for a reason, and I have bundles to learn about it. There are all sorts of things that are different in pediatric medicine (and all sorts that of things that are shockingly similar!). 

First, let’s talk about “furniture.” As you’ll remember from having once been a child, peds doctors offices and clinics, and even ERs, are often bright, colorful and cheery places. Kids get offered toys and lollipops, they get to see special movies. Doc McStuffins is a very common sight in peds hospitals and waiting rooms. 

I’ve heard of peds hospitals that have different mural styles for different wards: one hallway that’s done all up in a baseball theme, another in a princesses and dragons theme, another in trains. 

Oh! When little kids get a nebulizer treatment, oftentimes now the mask they get the treatment through looks like a dragon and it’s awesome and I wish they came in adult sizes. 

Providers are also, by necessity, gentler with kids. You can’t argue with a kid and tell them to hold still; they’re going to squirm whether the shot is good for them or not. (Don’t get me started on vaccinations, please.) 

In terms of the medicine, as someone who works on a pediatric critical care unit, there are two ways you can look at kids. 

A) They’re just little adults. 

B) They are definitely not little adults. 

Both are true. They’re little adults in that they have the exact same functions as adults. They’re not little adults in that there are big social development changes that go on at various ages and there are some physiological changes (mostly that come up in very technical fields) that are different. 

For adults, a lot of the med doses are standardized; for kids, they’re almost all weight-based. A 5 year old should weigh roughly 20kg/45lbs (and there’s a really neat method called Handtevy that will give you the estimated weight of any kid up to 10 yrs old based just on their age; it’s stupendously cool and exactly the kind of thing pediatric critical care medics nerd out about!). 

IVs are almost always smaller in kids, but that’s because they’re little. I’ve also seen ERs use whole teams to get a single IV in a child, including someone singing happy songs while other people stab the child with needles. (It seemed seriously Clockwork Orange to me, but I have a feeling it’s data-driven with good outcomes, so who knows?) 

I get the feeling you’re asking about pediatrics in general and not pediatric critical care, so I’m going to try and focus on the general practice stuff, which is that kids who don’t get seriously ill tend to do pretty well. 


Some things they might have done at the doctor’s office if they’re not there for a specific illness: 

  • Vitals: blood pressure, pulse, oxygen saturation, temperature
  • Height/weight checks. 
  • Scoliosis checks. 
  • Vision and hearing checks. 
  • Immunization checks. (I’d say just check the immunization schedule recommended by your region; the CDC’s is here and is as good as any.) 
  • Allergy scratch-testing 


Common reasons a 5 y.o. will go to the doctor: 

  • Earaches and ear infections
  • Fever (usually the flu or an ear infection) 
  • Vomiting 
  • Asthma. This is incredibly common in some areas, and I’ve worked in a few. 
  • the snot. so much the snot. 
  • Something lost in the nose 
  • Something swallowed 
  • Mechanical injury (broken wrist, bumped head, etc.)  It’s common for good parents to be suspected of child abuse for having clumsy kids. 

Kids tend to bounce – both literally and figuratively. They’re little, but pretty tough and hard to injure, and when they do get hurt they heal pretty quickly. They’re still growing, so they do well. 

That’s all I can think of about pediatrics when it’s 2 in the morning and I worked a 14+ hour day! 

Congrats on getting there first and I hope this was what you needed. 

xoxo, Aunt Scripty 

(Samantha Keel) 

disclaimer    

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NEW AND UPDATED: Free eBook: 10 BS “Medical” Tropes that Need to Die TODAY!  

Creepypasta #1229: The Game Master

Length: Super long

Note: This story contains racial slurs. 

From under my blindfold, I could detect the flickering of lights as I was led to the basement floor. Echoes of dripping water splattered against something metallic. My nose filled with the stench of mildew and something rotten. A man pushed hard into my back to make sure I wouldn’t try escaping. Like that was an option. 

He removed my blindfold once the door to the basement was shut and led me into a small room with no windows. Once inside, I was met by four other men and one female. Each of them had a captor of their own. I had just enough time to see all of their faces before being thrown into a chair.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my voice shaken.

“I dunno,” the man in front me said. His arms were as large as my head and were covered in tattoos. He wore a white bandana that had splotches of blood on it. I’m assuming his trip to the basement hadn’t gone without protest.

“You’re here to play a game,” a man walked into the room holding a revolver on a black cloth.

The woman to my right started sobbing.

“I’m sure you are all familiar with Russian Roulette,” the man said.

Each of us seated at the table exchanged glances.

“We play the game a bit differently here,” he said, putting the gun at the center of the table. “There are five shots in this gun instead of one. I’ll spin the gun and whoever it points at will pick it up.”

A short black man to my left began struggling in his seat. “Fuck that, man!”

The man behind him pulled a pipe of some kind from behind his back and swung it to the side of the man’s head. The impact made an awful sound that rang out in the basement like sneakers on a basketball court.

“You’ll play or we’ll play for you,” the man behind him said. “And trust me, you don’t want us to play for you.”

“I have a wife and kids at home,” the man who sat between the tattooed guy and the black guy was tall with glasses. He looked like the smart scientist from the Ghostbusters movies.

“Me too,” the guy sitting next to the girl said. He had long black hair and wore a hemp necklace. I couldn’t be sure in the lighting but it looked like he may have been wearing eye liner.

“Good, I’m glad we have something at stake,” the man walked away from the table. “My name, eh, my name doesn’t matter. I’m the Game Master.”

What a stupid name, I thought to myself. I guess it didn’t matter if his name was dumb or not. He had us all hostage and we were his players whether we liked the idea or not.

“Now back to the rules,” the Game Master said. “When you pick up the gun you will choose who to shoot. That’s what makes our game so much more fun than the boring ol’ Russian Roulette. We give you the choice.”

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New Recruit - Peter Parker

summary : Tony Stank introduces Peter Parker to the team’s new recruit, who is also his daughter.

word count : 2.3k+

warnings : a bit of angst, death mention, fighting,

pairing / characters : peter parker x Stark!reader, Inhuman!reader, Tony Stank, Mr. Delmar, civilians, gunman, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff.

prompt : “I love Peter x Stark!reader fics so anything involving that pleaasseee! I can’t think of an actual request other than that I’m sorry :( “ - anonny

A/N : lol I the tony stank and I have never read a peter parker x stark!reader, but I hope I did this justice. :) also this is probably gonna be a two or three part thing so keep an eye out. ;)

master list | requests | prompt list

Originally posted by dailymcugifs

Originally posted by theladyoftheslain

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Jaebum x Reader [featuring GOT7 x BTS]  →  angel!au / demon!au
Warning: violence, language, & mentions/descriptions of death

Masterlist (including teasers)
A/N: chapters are updated every Friday

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What I Should’ve Said

This is the first part of my present to @plantlance for the @vld3exchange ! I hope you like it!! I’ll be posting part 2 tomorrow :)

Characters: Allura, Lance, Keith (Klance)

Words: 3k+

Summary: Allura and Lance are concerned about their positions on the team, but all it takes is a bit of comforting words from the right person to make things a little more bearable. (fix-it fic set after s3, and yes there will be angst but it’s happy I promise)

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anonymous asked:

3 + Dean (Supernatural)

Originally posted by sooper-dee-dooper-natural

#3. “Could you be happy, here, with me?”

You hadn’t seen Dean in years. You had kept in touch, yes, but the life of a hunter didn’t exactly make relationships easy. You had explored your options before and eventually come to the conclusion that things wouldn’t work out between the two of you. It didn’t mean you were happy with the outcome, but you had come to accept that it was the way things had to be.

For the most part, you were alright. You could go about your life and you were functional.

Then Dean called you.

Of course you weren’t going to say no to helping him out. Still, seeing him again brought back a lot of feelings you had been trying to forget about. So when you were sitting with him again, sharing a beer, you couldn’t stop the conversation from going back to the past.

“Could you be happy, here, with me?”

Dean seem surprised at your question. To be honest, so were you. You averted your eyes and focused on nursing your drink.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked after a moment.

You shrugged, “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”

He shifted closer, frowning. “You can talk to me, you know that.”

You pressed your lips together, “I guess… I guess I’m just wondering what could have been, you know? If you could have found a way to stay and still been you.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Hunting is in your blood, Dean. I don’t know if you’re even capable of settling down and actually staying sane,” you were laughing but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “And that’s fine, you know, I want you to be happy…” You sighed and glanced to him, “I just wish you could be happy with me.”

Prompt List // Requests are closed

anonymous asked:

Could you do a Belle x fem!reader where they both like each other but is too scared to say anything so one day the reader spends like an hour picking the perfect flowers in a field and when she comes back she's covered in mud and dirt and is a shy blushing mess when giving the flowers to Belle?

Pairing: Belle x Fem!Reader
Fandom: Disney / Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Warnings: /

A/N: thank you so much for this cute request, darling! also, I’m pretty sure I’m going to write a part 2 to this. I just enjoyed writing belle with a female reader so much asdfghjkl (added belle to my fandoms list)

                                                           *****

You stood in front of the mirror and finished braiding your hair, then you took a deep breath.

“You can do this. Just.. tell her how you feel. Be honest. Be yourself,” you tried to build up your confidence, but it wouldn’t work the way you wanted it to.

You sighed and your shoulders sank.

Why couldn’t stuff like this be easy?

You shook your head and went out of the house, then over to Belle, who was sitting next to the fountain with a book. You plucked up your courage and were about to walk up to her, but at the last possible second turned around and walked the other way again, your anxiety getting the better of you.

Thankfully, she hadn’t seen you approach, so it wouldn’t be any more awkward for you than it already was.

Your feet carried you to the fields outside of the village.

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‘i’m late’ - 1/1 - scalia

prompt: “I’m late”
ship: scott/malia

read it here or on: AO3
↳ please try to leave kudos/comments!


Scott is standing just outside of the restaurant, nervously fiddling with his tie, while he waits for Malia to arrive. He checks his watch for the third time in two minutes and sighs. They had a reservation for 7, but it’s already 7:05 and he’s been avoiding looking at the maître d’ since he can feel his stink eye burning into his back.

Finally, when he’s just about to pull his phone out and give her a call, a yellow taxi pulls up in front of the restaurant. Malia leans forward to pay, shoving a handful of wrinkled bills in the driver’s hand before hopping out. She smooths the skirt of her dress and walks toward him, attempting at and failing to smile. 

Scott frowns. “Are you okay?”

“What?” She startles. “Yeah. Yes! I’m completely fine. Why?”

“Because you grimace-smiled. You only do that when you’re upset about something. And also, you took a cab…” 

“What’s wrong with a cab? Taxi driver’s need to make a living, too.” She’s not looking at him, instead looking into the restaurant and frowning. “Did we have a reservation?” 

“Yeah, but we’re late, so–” 

“What?” She turns to him, eyes wide. 

“I said we’re late. Not by much, only like five minutes. But they’re kind of strict on things like that here…” 

“Oh. Right. That makes sense…” 

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2

(Requested by Anon) (Part 1 of this imagine here) (Part 2 of this imagine here) (Part 3 of this imagine here) (Part 4 of this imagine here) (Part 5 of this imagine here) (Part 6 of this imagine here) (Part 7 of this imagine here) (Part 8 of this imagine here) - Do let me know whether they should have the kiddo and if so if I should include the kiddo in future imagines of this series! Because I am so far undecided!

One thing you knew for certain, there wasn’t one part of you that regretted this outcome. Yes, you did know what happened to Aunt Bella, yes you did know that Caius would likely flip his shit but the truth was having children was always the main sticking point in the whole vampire scenario for you. You liked children and you were pretty sure being a mother was always an option on your radar…until you met Caius. 

True you hadn’t been as devastated as your mother that the whole children option would disappear but you hadn’t exactly been happy about it either. Now apparently having children was most certainly on the agenda. Well… if Caius didn’t bite you immediately to stop you dying that is. 

Aro would know exactly how close Aunt Bella had come to death and he’d tell Caius and Caius would possibly… probably… loose his shit. You bit your lip as you tried to think of ways to talk Caius round… if you even got a chance to say more than ‘I’m pregnant’ that is. 

You’d battled with yourself over how to tell him all day and eventually you’d decided you’d just have to say it. Just quickly, simply and firmly. So when Caius strolled through the door that evening…early morning, you sat bolt upright from your horizontal position on one of the sofas instantly. Caius raised one white blond eyebrow. A typical Caius reaction to any weirdness you presented. 

You opened your mouth fully intending to say the words, ‘I’m pregnant’ and yet, all that came out was. “Hi.” 

Caius looked to be suppressing a smirk for a few seconds before he responded. “Hello amore mio, something I can help you with?” 

“No, no… just um, wanted to say, er, hi.” You fumbled over your words, the nerves getting the better of you. 

“At three am? Unlikely, you normally cherish your sleep my love.” 

If anyone ever doubted why Caius was a Volturi king, that was it. He was a vampire bullshit detector who was damn good at politics, warfare and judgement, if slightly prone to over-reaction on occasion. 

“So how about you tell me the real reason you look as if you have ingested entirely too much caffeine this morning hmm?”

Making a quick clicking sound with your tongue you decided it was probably best just to get it over with, no sense in riling him up after all. 

“Pregnancy.” You stated firmly. 

Caius looked bewildered for a second. “What about it?”

“I have it.” You shook your head sharply from side to side. “I mean I am it.” Another shake. “Wait.” Taking a deep breath and finally getting your thoughts in order you finished. “Pregnant. I’m pregnant…with your child.” Your eyes ran over Caius’s motionless face. “Your baby.” He still hadn’t moved. “Our baby.” Could vampires go into shock? “It currently resides in my stomach, or more precisely, my womb.” 

Caius held up on slender hand, stopping your incessant explanations. “I know the general premise.” His brow furrowed as his eyes ran across your overly stiff posture. “And you are… pleased with this development?” 

“I’m not unpleased by it.” Blinking quickly in an effort to clear your mind you corrected. “Displeased. I’m not displeased by it.” 

“Ah.” 

“Yes, ah.” 

Stilted and stunted yet oddly calm, not how you imagined this conversation going at all.

anonymous asked:

How will I know if things will get better? I'm worried about all these questions, like will I ever find the one? Will I get a job? And just everything please help

These are big questions, so bear with me:

Q: How will I know if things will get better?
A: You don’t. You can’t. None of us can. Things outside of you will be good and horrifying and stunning and heartbreaking and confusing and surreal and beautiful, sometimes all in the same day. But here’s the good thing: you will get better. You will get better at living in your own skin, you will get more resilient, you will get better at life. I don’t know how old you are now, but here’s the best analogy I can give: think about how uncomfortable you were with yourself when you were 13 years old versus, say, 17. That’s a four-year time period. You will have literally dozens of those.

Q: Will I ever find the one? 
A: Maybe! Maybe not! I mean, to be clear, there are *many* ones out there for you. There are many humans you could be happy with. That said, and I know this is easier said than done, but if I were you, I would focus on being open to many different outcomes. 

Maybe tomorrow you’ll meet the perfect mate, have exactly the number of offspring you want, and every day will be better than the last. Maybe tomorrow you will meet the perfect mate and in two years they will step in front of a bus and be squished. Maybe you, like me, will put a ton of pressure on yourself to get married and then marry someone who isn’t right for you. Maybe you’ll take a spectacular variety of lovers for 3-month stretches until you’re 82. 

But the funny insanely frustrating thing is that you don’t really get to choose. So just try to make peace with whatever it is, and do not base your own identity on your relationship. Find someone that you choose to be with, not someone that you need to be ok. If you’re single and you have feelings about it, feel them and honor them; don’t shame yourself. 

Q: Will I get a job?
A: Almost certainly. I mean, you will get a job of some sort, and at first it will not be your dream job. It may be glamorous, fulfilling, lucrative, stimulating … but when you begin, frankly, shoot for one or even half of one of those. Just accept that it’s hard to start your career and everyone goes through these growing pains. Stick with it.

Confessions

Requested: @highest-quality-of-trash

Word Count: 1,673

Genre: Fluff, Romance

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry it took so long!!! I wanted it to be perfect for you!! I really hope you like it! Let me know if it’s what you wanted. I kinda made to where they both had feelings.


It was the beginning of senior year and you were still on the fence to confessing your feelings to Jeonghan, your best friend. I mean, he was your best friend after all, you didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had with him but also you were just too shy to do so. Every time you thought about confessing to him over the summer, you got anxious and scared. You would think about every possible outcome there is, good and bad. You’ve wanted to tell him exactly how you felt and how happy he makes you but, it was nearly impossible because of your shyness and his popularity. All the girls in school flocked to him, like he was Prince Charming himself. Always crowded him, buying him gifts and confessing their love for him. You didn’t want to be like the other girls. It was particularly one reason why Jeonghan liked you so much, you weren’t like the rest of the girls in school. You weren’t head over heels in love with him, well at least to his knowledge, you weren’t.

You weren’t always in love with him, your feelings for him came over time spent with him. From all your late night talks to your morning walks to school. From spending holidays with each other to rooftop met ups. Feelings for him developed more and more. You’ve never liked a boy like Jeonghan nor have you ever confessed your feelings before.

You’ve been thinking about confessing to him for awhile now. Give that it’s senior year and you wanted to make the best of it. Hoping that revealing your true feelings wouldn’t damper your last year of high school. You figured you would do it during lunch, when the two of you would go off and eat up on the rooftop of the school. No one ever bother you guys up there, since no one ever when up there besides you, Jeonghan and twelve of your friends. You secretly hoped that they wouldn’t be there today but you knew they would be. Lunch was the only time all fourteen of you could hang out during school.

When made it to your guys spot, you found Jeonghan and the gang goofing around like they normally did.

“Y/N! You’re finally here!” Mingyu came up to you with open arms.

“Mingyu.” You hugged the boy back.

“Y/N what took you so long? You missed all the fun.” Jeonghan wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in closed. It was at times like these that you wish you could tell him about your feelings but, you couldn’t. At least not while everyone was around. It was bad enough you were already shy about it, you didn’t need an audience too.

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Been going through some things lately that I feel have made me grow. 

It is not exactly anything new; things happen and end but life always continues. Sometimes you might not be happy with the outcome or wonder if there is a reality out there where things turned out as you had hoped. Once you can accept the reality of the circumstance as it is and put any regrets you had to the side, you will grow. 

And so, the journey goes on.

peachfizzz  asked:

how do you suppose the general idea of page having a lot of potential fits in with selfish serving? vriska says it several times, and aradia too alluded to tavros's class (flarp) as having the most powerful abilities being available much later on. the page class seems like a special case since i think its the only one explicitly described with criteria other than the "allow/exploit/etc __" phrase, so what do you think of this? (wow that was a mess of words oops)

The way I see it, it makes a lot of sense: Pages are inherently Self-Serving, and that’s both an intense weakness and a great strength. 

Why? Because in Homestuck, reality is made not just of what you want, but of what you’re willing to make happen. Willpower and thought are tangible, powerful things in Homestuck–things that shape the communal reality that all the characters share on their adventure. 

So what if you had a natural talent to give yourself whatever you want? What if you had a natural talent to make other people WANT to give you whatever you want? Once Pages understand this potential in themselves and exploit it to it’s fullest potential, you get–well, you get Gods uniquely skilled at achieving exactly the outcome they want. So you get Jake summoning Brain Ghost Dirk, which should be impossible. You get Tavros managing to somehow organize an entire army out of extremely self-absorbed troll ghosts so he can finally show Vriska up, just by being nice and talking to them all one by one.

Ultimately, Homestuck posits that happiness/fulfillment/success, in reality, is made by knowing how to traverse the boundaries between what exists, what you want, and what the people around you want. Pages’ key verb, by design, gives them the shortest path to getting there. Other classes might use their ability to Make or Steal or Destroy to get what they want, but Pages have the luxury of simply Serving it to themselves–partly by making other people genuinely want to give it to them, or by using their Aspect to serve their own desires directly instead. 

This makes them powerful vectors for organizing wills into a single goal, ie: Powerful leaders or warriors under the right circumstances. 

The reason this is such a double-edged sword is twofold. For one thing, Pages being self-serving also makes them inclined to be cowardly and conflict avoidant, even when conflict is necessary. They’re also prone to put their own interest ahead of the group’s. For another, they can inspire people to want to help them, but those people are also their own people with their own predilections and ideas about what serving someone else means, which leads to unpredictable results. One need look no further than Vriska to see how that can go wrong. 

And it’s worth noting that being self-serving is something society by and large strongly discourages, especially if you’re going to be asking people for help in accomplishing whatever you want to get done! It’s seen as a pretty Bad thing to be. So Pages perhaps more than most classes tend to be conditioned against embracing their innate skills.

This is a true mess of words. Hope it makes any damn sense but feel free to send me another ask if it doesn’t! And thanks a ton!

Contusion

aka Nesta in an Illyrian War Camp. It’s practically five thousand words and took me forever to write, I almost gave up but here it is! 

Part 1: Catastrophe Part 2: You are here Part 3: Combustion

Also I read this like six times trying to remove all the typos, but I really didn’t feel like going through it again, so ah well. (Shrugs) 


“Cut it.”

She lifted her hair from behind her and leaned back on the chair. Cassian, with his ever present trepidation, simply shook his head.

“Nesta.”

Shrugging in resignation, Nesta openly looked at her reflection staring back at her, “Cut it. It’s of no use to me now,”

When Cassian’s hands fumbled with the knife, unsure of her words, Nesta grabbed it from his hands. She would not miss her long hair, the hours washing and grooming it. Making it pretty, for people she could care less about. It was a decoration of the person who yearned for affection, the person who wanted to please. She’d never be her again.

She grasped the hilt with one hand and her golden hair with the other, seeing each thread as it flared at the tips. The blade, a piercing edge of metal, sharp enough to desecrate bodies. It cut right through.

She gazed at herself in the mirror before her. Stared at her, now, shoulder length hair.

She didn’t recognize her reflection. Not for the long ears that she hid behind a wall of hair, not for the lengthened frame of her face, or the sharp edges of cheekbones. Her eyes were a dark cave of mystery, a deep abyss of nothingness. She looked at herself, stared at herself, and she couldn’t contemplate how one person could be so different from another, how she could forget one as if she never knew her, and stare at another like she had yet to find out.  

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so i stayed with my friend’s family for the past months. when we said good-bye to each other for the next couple of months, my friend’s mom told me ‘take care,my fifth child’ which actually made me feel so loved bc she cared so much about me.

this is just one of those happy little accidents which occured after i actually thought that there will be no good outcome anymore.

exactly a year ago, i used to be highly suicidal. since that i relapsed on self-harm, started to abuse alcohol for a short period of time, been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis…
moved back to hometown, passed my finals… and now i’m happier and more content than ever before.
the past twelve months made me realize that i’m a badass warrior capable of not only saving myself but lifting up those ppl around me i love.
and i’ll keep on fighting for that wonderful life i fuckin’ deserve, no matter what life throws at me.
finally, i believe in myself.