not everrrrr

anonymous asked:

Wow. A girl is attracted to Cole and (possibly) his brother. YOU DON'T SAY. Guess who else is attracted to Cole? The love of his life. Leave Sprousehart alone, anons. Enjoy them or gtfo. Sorry, Zumps, I know you don't want to address this anymore. But people piss me/us off.

No you’re fine—I was also thinking probably most of his nearly 10 million Insta followers are also thirsting for Cole’s D….doesn’t mean it’ll everrrrr happen

okay all jokes aside We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together is one of Taylor’s most iconic songs simply because she’s so sassy in it like,

“I remember when we broke up, the first time” and “when you said you needed "space” what?” or “baby, I miss you and swear I’m gonna change, trust me.” or “remember how that last for a day?” or “we are never ever ever getting back together……. like……. e v e r..” or “I’m really gonna miss you picking fights” or “with some indie record thats MUCH cooler than mine” and most importantly, “UGGHH, so he calls me up and hes like, “i still love you,” and I’m like…. I’m jus.. I mean this is e x h a u s t i n g ya know??? like we are never getting back together, like ever!” pls dont ignore WANEGBT simply bec it sounds pop-ish 

the signs when they're mad
  • aries: doesn’t make eye contact with you every time you try and talk to them and when you finally ask them what’s wrong they make death stare eye contact that could rip apart a soul, while they tell you how you fudged up

  • taurus: makes you know that they’re pissed with you, they yell and scream and will make your life as hellish as they can until they’re no longer mad at you

  • gemini: barely everrrrr gets mad but if they do they just get mad about it at home and vent to their diary, they may tell one or two people and though the anger fades away quickly they won’t forget what happened
  • 
cancer: they only get mad at you if you’ve actually done something wrong and will really sternly tell you about it but they won’t be mad for tooooo long

  • leo: gives you three thousand eye rolls and won’t take any of your crap, they’ll just pretend you don’t exist and get on with their life 

  • virgo: makes everyone around them know that they’re mad and doesn’t hesitate to tell anyone what it’s about and will probably be mad for quite a long time

  • libra: will confront you about it in private and may cry but will get over it pretty quickly as they’ll want to invite as many people to their next party as they can, even if they’re kinda mad at you

  • scorpio: summons their personal demons to haunt you

  • saggitarius: will distance themself from you but will be an icy polite if you make conversation

  • capricorn: you’re dead before you can realise what happens when they’re mad

  • aquarius: if you did something that reallyyyyyy made them mad to the point they don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, they’re really skilful at drifting from people and making it seem like it was natural (even thought it was their doing) lol u slay
  • 
pisces: if they’re mad they’ll vent to people but if they’re frustrated mad then they’ll cry

 SO LIKE BRACE YOURSELVES BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING LONG AND I WOULD APOLOGISE BUT MY OTP IS ONLY GETTING MARRIED ONCE SO FUCK IT RIGHT?

OK FIRST OF ALL HELLA TRANSITION AND SECOND OF ALL I LOVE WHAT HE’S WEARING AND THIRD OF ALL HE WORE THE FUCKING EARRING OF MY DEMISE I HATE HIM

AND HIS STUPID PERFECT EYES AND HIS STUPID PERFECT JAWLINE AND HIS STUPID PERFECT EVERYTHING

GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT WE GET TO SEE THIS RELATIONSHIP AND LOOK HOW FAR THEY’VE COME. STEP FATHER AND BEST MAN LIKE SO MANY FUCKING TEARS ALREADY

YOU KNOW HE’S SEEN HER. LOOK AT HIS DAMNED FACE. AND SHE’S FUCKING STUNNNINGGGG IN HER DRESS SO I DON’T BLAME HIM AT ALL FOR THIS REACTION LOL

AND THEN FUCKING LOOK AT THIS RIGHT? SNOW IS TAKING DEEP BREATHS, CHARMING IS JUST HAPPY AF AND EMMA FUCKING SWAN IS LOOKING AT KILLIAN JONES AND SHE CAN’T TAKE HER EYES OFF HIM

ANYMORE THAN HE CAN TAKE HIS EYES OFF HER

LOOK AT THIS LOVE DAMNIT I CANNOT BELIEVE WE’RE GETTING TO SEE THIS FUCK

LOOK AT THIS DUMB LITTLE FAMILY AND HOW FAR THEY’VE COME. I LOVE THAT THEY’RE BOTH WALKING HER DOWN THE AISLE AND BOTH HOLDING HER AS SHE GOES AND I’M JUST SO DAMN HAPPY

LOOK AT THIS. FUCKING WHAT IS THIS WITH THE SMILING AND THE KISSING THE CHEEKS

WHAT IS THIS WHO AUTHORISED THIS? TAKE IT AWAY IMMEDIATELY

AND THIS FUCKING HANDSHAKE?! REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS ALL YOU CAN’T EVER DATE MY DAUGHTER EVERRRRR EVER EVER EVER AND NOW FUCKING LOOK. THEY’RE BROS. SUCH BROS. THIS IS RIDICULOUS HOW MANY EMOTIONS I HAVE RN

OMFG LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS THAT HE’S GOT HER HAND IN HIS. THAT DAMN SMILE THAT WON’T QUIT

AND OK WHEN ARCHIE SAYS THAT THEY SHOULD RECITE THEIR VOWS KILLIAN LOOKS AT WHO I’M ASSUMING IS CHARMING OR HENRY, OR PERHAPS THE WHOLE FAMILY, JUST GIVING THEM A SMILE AND IT KILLS ME BECAUSE NOT ONLY DID EMMA SWAN FIND A FAMILY, KILLIAN JONES DID TOOOO

LOOK AT THEM DAMNIT, LOOK AT HOW FUCKING HAPPY ARE OMFGGG

AND THE VOWS, THE DAMNED FUCKING VOWS OMFG THE WAY HE FUCKING LOOKS AT HER

AND THE WAY SHE FUCKING LOOKS AT HIM

AND THE FUCKING AWE IN HIS FACE WHEN HE’S LIKE YOU TAUGHT ME THAT A HEART FULL OF LOVE WAS MORE PRECIOUS THAN ANY TREASURE LIKE HE NEVER THOUGHT IN HIS WILDEST DREAMS THAT THIS COULD EVER FUCKING HAPPEN FOR HIM

AND NOW THAT HE HAS IT, HE WILL NEVER FUCKING LET IT GO AND I AM DEAD AND GONE, A SPIRIT IS TYPING THIS RN

AND FUCK LOOK AT HIM TELLING HER HIS HEART IS HERS

LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE OMG I AM SO EMOTIONAL *THROWS THINGS* *THROWS ALLL THE FUCKING THINGS*

I AM GONNA THROW MY COUCH AT SOMEONE NOW BECAUSE DID YOU HEAR HOW SHE SAYS KILLIAN? ALL SOFT AND TENDER AND LIKE SHE LOVES HIM.

AND OMG HENRY FOUND HER AND THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HENRY TOO. THERE’S JUST SO MUCH LOVE IN THIS ROOM THAT I AM IN PAIN AND FUCKING LOOK AT THE SOFT WAY THAT KILLIAN LOOKS AT HENRY TOO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

AND HENRY GOD HENRYYY I AM SO PROUD OF HIM AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND HE JUST BELIEVED AND LOOK HOW FAR THEY’VE ALL COME FUCK ME

AND SHE FOUND THE REST OF HER FAMILY TOO BECAUSE OF HENRY

AND THEY’RE HERE ON HER FUCKING WEDDING DAY TO HER FUCKING TRUE LOVE OMFG I AM OVERWHELMED

AND SHE LOOKS AT HIM RIGHT AND SHE’S TELLING HIM THESE THINGS ABOUT TRUE LOVE AND FAMILIES

AND FUCK ME IF KILLIAN JONES ISN’T COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IN AWE OF THE WOMAN IN FRONT OF HIM. I AM OF THE OPINION THAT KILLIAN JONES THINKS THAT EMMA SWAN IS MAGIC AND HE IS BESOTTED WITH HER ANEW EVERY SECOND THAT HE LOOKS AT HER

AND THIS MOMENT AND EMMA’S VOWS AND OMFG JUST BECAUSE YOU LEARN THAT YOU COME FROM TRUE LOVE DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL FIND IT

AND YET HERE HE IS AND HERE SHE IS AND IT TOOK CENTURIES AND CURSES AND ADVENTURES THROUGH TIME AND REALMS AND FUCKING

NOW THEY STAND HERE AND SHE SMILES AT HIM THIS WAY 

AND HE SMILES BACK AND THEY HAVE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THEM YOU KNOW? ALL YOU EVER REALLY WANT IS FOR SOMEONE TO KNOW YOU, TO SEE YOU, TO KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS AND YOUR WEAKNESSES, YOUR FAILURES, YOUR SUCCESSES AND TO LOVE YOU ANYWAY. 

AND THEY HAVE THAT AND THEY’RE PROMISING TO NEVER LEAVE

AND GODDDDAMN EVERYTHING HELLLLP BECAUSE HONESTLY WHAT THE FUCK MY EMOTIONS ARE SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WITH MYSELF I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH

AND OK SHE’S PUTTING THE DAMN RING ON AND HE CAN’T STOP STARING AT HER. LIKE HE JUST KEEPS LOOKING AT HER AND SHE IS FUCKING STUNNING, I DON’T BLAME HIM

HANDSSS HANDS ARE THE REASON FOR MY BEING A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR

HANDS AND THE WAY THEY’RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER

AND THE WAY HE SAYS I DO, HIS EYES UNWAVERING FROM HERS

AND THE WAY SHE DOES THE FUCKING SAME *SLAMS KEYBOARD* WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NONSENSE

LOOK AT THIS SMILE, IT WON’T FUCKING STOP LIKE OMFGGGGGG 

ARCHIE IS ME HERE. HE GETS ME. HE TOO IS MARVELLING AT THE PERFECTION THAT IS THE JOY OF CAPTAIN SWAN.

HUSBAND. AND. WIFE. THE. FUCK. WHAT. HOW. I. CANNOT. BELIEVE

THIS FUCKING PERFECTION I CANNOT DAMN BELIEVE DAMN FUCK

AND I THOUGHT I HAD DIED ENOUGH BUT NO, THERE WAS A FUCKING DIP, HIS HAND CLEAR FUCKING AROUND HER WAIST AND COMING BACK AROUND AND THEN FUCKING

YOU GOT YOUR HAPPY ENDING SWAN LIKE KILLIAN FUCKING JONES AND FUCKING EARRING

AND THEN OK, LEAVING ALONE THE DEVASTATING SMILES AND THE CONTENTMENT RADIATING OFF THEM

AND THE ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER AND THE FUCKING FUCKING EARRING

LEAVING ALONE ALL THIS, YOU HIT ME WITH A HAPPY BEGINNING?! THIS IS UNFAIR AND I AM IN TEARS AND I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH. I DON’T HAVE THE WORDS

*FALLS OVER*

someone gimme a hug pls

Sincerely Three x Reader w/ High Sex Drive Headcanons! (Part Two) (SMUT)

Part T W O

requested by Anon

Enjoy!


Jared:

- My god you made this boy hot and bothered.

- He’d always make sex jokes to see how uncomfortable everyone would get but when he met you he was SHOOKITH.

- He’d make jokes and you’d fire one back, and you’d go back and forth until one of you gave up (Jared).

- When he’d run out of inappropriate things to say he’d try to make you feel bad by saying shit like “wow so lady like (y/n) and you’d always respond with a suggestive comment like:
- “Oh Jared you and I both know how much of a ‘Lady’ I am,” and you’d wink at him.

- He found you so incredibly sexy and you thought the same of him although you knew he was a Virgin™

- You two started dating and it was so uncomfortable because of the tension, Jared always wanted to kiss you, but he’s too nervous

- you make him v nervous. He just wants to be perfect for you and he tries so hard. (He doesn’t need to)

- He walked you to your front door after your third date and he nervously kissed you. When he tried to pull away you pulled him back in.

- Jared was super impatient when it came to getting the ball rolling in your sex lives.

- Damn this boy was touchy. When you’d make out his hands were on your ass, under your shirt, thumbs hooking on your waist band of your jeans.

- So you decided to take more control, you’d tug on his hair, give him hickies, grind on him, moan some NSFW things in his ear.

- You were at Jared’s house and instead of spending time with his girlfriend he was playing video games online with his friends. “In a minute babe I can’t pause this game, I need full focus!” You started to leave hickies on his neck, and than you planed him through his shorts, “babe listen I appreciate the contact but can you wait till this game is done!?” That really pissed you off. You in zipped his shorts, and pulled his hard-on out of his boxers and started jerking him off, “ooh shit babe, Jesus Christ you’re so damn in patient! Your arm is in the way!” You rolled you left eyes and payed down on your stomach, and started to suck him off. You dragged your teeth up his length and he did everything in his power to not moan. You were going slowly, making sure it was annoying the shit out of him. “Ohh fucking. Ugh screw it. Guys I have to go I’m sorry my umm my mom is freaking out. Jewish stuff yeknow. Sorry,” he threw off his head set and left the game. You giggled against his length, he tangled his hands in your hair and thrusted his hips to meet your mouth. “Oh fuck. Fuck your mouth looks so nice on my cock. Oh fuck FUCK F U C K!” He came and you definitely spit because that shits nasty.

- He definitely returned the favor, damn this boy was good at eating you out, he fingers curled inside you rapidly as his mouth sucked roughly on your clit. “Oh Jared. Fuck yes just like that. Oh FUCK ME,”
- “If you insist,”
- “I swear to god if you don’t shut up and finish I will breakup with you for a vibrator.
- He definitely finished with a bang ;)

- Jared was never embarrassed in the bedroom, he’d touch you shamelessly, and he was carelessly loud when you’d touch him. But in public was another story.

- he was always afraid people judged you because you were a 10 and he thought he was a 5. You’d definitely pull some exhibitionist shit with him, you’d be riding the bus and start palming him though his pants, you’d be trying on cloths and you’d pull him into the changing room and start making out with him.

- You two would go grocery shopping and you’d find the most phallic fruit or vegetable and put in the cart. It became a challenge of who could find the grossest food, and than who ever lost had to make dinner using the wining food.

- At first he loved your high sex drive, it was so fucking hot to him. But after a while he realized how tiring having sex more than once a day was. He was sore and exhausted and you were horny and really wanted him. And he’d reject you.

- So you got your revenge when he was really hot and bothered. You two had gone to a holiday party with his parent and you two spent the whole night teasing each other. Jared told his parents that you felt sick and took you back to his house, you definitely didn’t give him road-head. Nooo why would you everrrrr????

- anyway, when you got home you pushed him onto the bed and as you were kissing him you slid off his tie and quicky tied his hands tightly to his bed frame.
- "Listen (y/n) premarital sex isn’t against any Jewish ideals, but something tells me BDSM using a tie with the menorah and dreidels all over it might piss off some Elohim,”

- You got off the bed and started to strip for Jared, he was obviously enjoying the sight and repeatedly tried to undo the knots on his wrists.

- Once you were totally nude you took Jared’s throw blanket and folded it as a pillow for yourself and laid it at the foot of the bed. You straddled his thigh and rode it, he wanted to grab your hips, he wanted to kiss you, he wanted to touch you all over.

- You than laid down facing Jared and opened your legs, the most sacred part of you facing him, your body was angled upwards on the pillow and you started to touch yourself. One of your hands grabbed you breast while the other rubbed up and down your core.
- Jared was pissed and pulled on his tie, you started to moan, teasing him more. “Uh uh oh Jared. OH JARED. GOD JARED FUCK MY TIGHT PUSSY PLEASE OH FUCK ME GOOD!”

- you were close to cumming when your heard the familiar sound of fabric ripping. Jared was so angry and desperate for you that he ripped the tie in half. He quickly discarded his clothes and rolled a condom over his length. He grabbed your hair roughly and growled “you’re going to ride my cock and you’re going to ride it good. Got it!” You nodded and slid yourself over him. As you rode him he grabbed your ass and left hickies all over your boobs.

- the next morning Jared woke you up by eating you out, when you woke up you had super lovey, lazy morning sex.

- He left the room and came back in with Biofreeze, his dad was old but dead set on playing some intense fucking tennis on Saturdays. So he always had a shit ton of creams for sore muscles. Jared rubbed into your arms and thighs and on your back, in return you rubbed it up his sides and on his arms especially his wrists which were gently bruised.

- “Jared sweetie what happened to your cute little tie?” His mom asked later that week.
- “Oh um I was so tired after making sure (Y/n) was feeling ok and asleep that I caught it on the bed post and it just ripped. It was old and fraying anyway,” he struggled. His mom nodded and left the room.

~ Random Headcanon shit ~

- you definitely smack Jared’s ass in public, it’s always a joke but he kinda likes it ;)

- you two have fucked in a storage closet, a changing room, and a bathroom during a open house his parents went to.

- He would by condoms with ribs, built in lube, and any other interesting things.

- He also buys sex handcuffs cause that whole getting tied to the bed this was hot. And he buys interesting Lubes and other weird sex shit.

- You like to send him Risky picks when he’s at work. You send him pictures of you in your bra, and than you in nothing, than videos of you touching yourself.
- Than you send him a video of just black but it has sound so he turns on his volume (it’s on high but he put his phone on vibrate) and suddenly some very porn like moans leave his phone. He tells his boss a friend of his was trying to mess with him and it was an accident.
- “This is your last shot Kleinman, don’t let it happen again.

- Finally at one point you two were playing a game, you couldn’t touch each other but you could tease them in any other way. It was supposed to be a weekend thing ending in amazing needy sex but it ended up bleeding into the school week. You both went to some extremes. Jared would whisper dirty things in your ears and texted you gifs of really hard core porn and tell you that’s what he was going to do to you.
- In return you were intense. You wore low cut shirts and no bra, you’d moan in his ear when you’d walk past him.
- Than he left a particularly dirty note in your locker, you were so turned on that you skipped class and snap chatted him a video of you masturbating in the girls bathroom.
- He opened them and instantly gave in. He texted you saying that you had one and than he needed you, bad. You met him at his locker at the end of the day with a sweet needy kiss, he opened his locker to find your lacy black thing hanging inside.
- Needless to say you two had some BOMB ASS SEX when you got home.

- Jared Kleinman was a massive Virgin™ and he still doesn’t quite understand what he did to deserve an amazing, gorgeous, funny, smart, and sexy as all fuck girlfriend who loved him and who he loved more than anything.


Connor will be up tomorrow!