Humans Are Weird
I’m sitting in the mess hall, swirling my spoon through my bowl of frugnarf, when Kap’ka*click*ka (I call him Kap) sits down opposite me.
“Human Monique, greetings.”
“Greetings, Kap. What’s up?” My eyes are still on my bowl.
“I have a most pressing query for you.” He pauses dramatically during which I decide to look up at him. Meeting my gaze sternly, he says, “Are you injured?”
The question throws me. “What?”
“Injured, Human Monique! Are you injured?” The long flabs of skin along his neck flap with his agitation, and I know he’s actually being serious.
“No,” I say firmly. Then, more gently, “Why do you ask?”
Six eyes blink at me before one of his hands reaches to take my right hand, the one not holding the spoon. “You use only one of your fore-appendages. I feared you were concealing an injury,” he explains. “We *click*Ref*click*fer often do this when we wish to deceive others.”
It is in that instant that I understand. Kap’s species is entirely ambidextrous. All seven of their limbs can work apart from the others. The species even has an extra cortex in their brains to allow for this kind of dexterity. (I mean, seven limbs! That also isn’t counting their three legs.)
I smile at him and pull my hand away. “No, Kap. I’m fine. Really. I’m just a Lefty.”
“I’m left-handed. Most humans are either left- or right-hand-dominant. Lefties are less common.”
“You mean to tell me that your entire existence relies solely on one appendage to do everything?”
“Not everything,” I amend, enjoying watching his eyes bulge. “I mean, I type with both hands and I can eat with both hands, but things like writing or firing my rifle, I use my left.”
“You can’t be serious!”
“I’m dead serious! Sure, there are a few humans who are ambidextrous, and you can certainly learn how, but it’s hard work and, frankly, it’s a waste of time.”
“But what happens if your dominant, left hand is cut off by a prif’s pincers? What will you do? We don’t have the technology to replace your dominant, left hand, Human Monique!”
I grin up at him and switch my spoon from my left to my right. “Well, I guess I’ll be a Righty, then,” I say and take a bite.