not even me

3

In these dreams it’s always you:

                           the boy in the sweatshirt,

the boy on the bridge, the boy who always keeps me

                          from jumping off the bridge

     Oh the things we invent when we are scared

and want to be rescued

Richard Siken // I Had A Dream About You

How can this button nose-soft cheeks-beautiful lips-stunning eyes of a guy kill us all when stepping on to a stage? HOW? LOOK AT HIM!!!!!SO CUTE AND FLOFFY!!!

Yo this is not an informational post. This is an emotional rant based on things Ive heard and not confirmed. Just a psa

So I love stranger things two and the more I think about it the more I love Billy Hargrove and want to see his character broken down and put through some interesting development in future. Trouble is, this simple desire is apparently highly controversial on the tungl dot come because of the demand for  ideological purity and teenagers with no dissociation between fiction and reality being given an anonymous internet megaphone to broadcast their frustration with the world. I’m no stranger to such anti fandom discourse, I tend to like dark characters and ship dark ships (where dark = problematic) so Im used to the whole “ew gross these people are horrible bigoted nazi pedo[hile abusive dog shit lumps because arbitrary fiction opinion” thing though I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all. I’m a pretty sensitive person so yea sometimes it hurts but whatever that’s my problem rationally I know that none of this matters. love isn’t real. death is certain. embrace the void.

 So anyway Billy. Oh Billy. My dear sweet sweet self destructive asshole trainwreck of a baby boy. Important to note is that I did not love him immediately. At first  I hated him. He seemed really obnoxious and pointless. Then the last episode happened. We’ll talk more about that later.

I started to get into the Billy and harringrove fandom subset a bit and let myself hope for character development. Then I heard that apparently the creators of the show have confirmed that they’re not going anywhere with Billy’s character because he’s just the new villain. um….ok….what

(i haven’t actually been able to find the source for this but hey im a pessimist so lets just assume it’s true while staying open to it being false. wow what a concept. mental flexibility.)

And I know there are a lot of fans who would like this as well, for Billy to just be the one dimensional villain and hopefully be brutally killed off as soon as possible.

And I gotta tell you guys…that is just terrible writing.

Like I said I hated him at first. He was mean and obnoxious and had a stupid mullet and did nothing of value and why was he even here? Apart from obviously being meant to contrast with Steve to prove how much better he is now which…cmon…did we really need that? Do we not have eyeballs? It felt stupid and condescending and I was truly annoyed everytime he came on screen. Gradually I became intrigued by just how fixated on Steve billy seemed to be. That was weird. Didn’t know what to make of it. Then episode 9 happened.

so hey any writers out there, if you want me to all out hate and not care about a character who you only meant to be a one dimensional villain, here’s what you dont do; you dont contextualize his behavior in a relatable and sympathetic way. Revealing his father’s abuse made soooo many things about Billy suddenly make sense. It even painted some in a new light as I looked back and realized just how self destructive most of his actions are. A lot of people also began reading him as gay, which Im not so sure of since tv loooves to queerbait, but I do agree it’s a perfectly logical interpretation of what we’ve seen. The whole scene was a giant “ooooooohhhhh” moment. With that little piece of context as to Billy’s perspective on his family (that he fears his father, that he is responsible for Max under threat of violence and thus resents her, etc) his character suddenly became…an actual character. An interesting character, that I want to see more of.

I cant for the life of me think why they decided to add this scene if they intended Billy to be a flat villain that we’re not supposed to care about. It utterly baffles me. Why? Why would you do that? This show is full of amazing, complex characters whose entire appeal is that they feel real and have flaws. So why would you add another one, but tell us that he’s not supposed to be complex or real and we’re just supposed to hate him and accept him as the dull bully villain?

I hope to god that these things Ive heard aren’t true because if they are I have a sinking feeling that the writing in this show is about to take a nosedive.

HABOOSKI COMPILATION FOR @markiplier !!

Courtesy of episodes 5 & 6 of Evil Within 2. I hope you and everyone else who sees this gets a kick out of it!  This took forever to make but it was totally worth it; if it made me laugh even after all the work, I assume it’s good lmao.

Ben: Harry, my dude. I love you man but you need to stop telling everyone you’re Ruby’s mother. 

Harry: oh. sorry. it’s just we’re so bonded it feels that way sometimes. 

Ben: just no more, k? 

Harry: got it! no more mommy talk. 

Harry: hey adam, have you met Ruby? 

Harry: isn’t she beautiful? 

harry: …I birthed her. 

Everyone Lived.

Everyone lived. When Harry was born, Lily hardly saw him because Sirius was fitting him into a tiny leather jacket, Remus was reading to him, and James was already trying to sneak him to the Quidditch supply store to get Harry his first toy broom. Christmases were spent with full bellies and rooms stuffed with laughter, and there wasn’t a single person without flushed cheeks from all the wine. Lily’s eyes sparkled, and there was always a joke on the tip of James’ tongue. All Harry knew was love, love, love, from every corner of the universe.

Everyone lived, and every Thursday afternoon, Sirius and Remus took Harry to the “library”, which was the secret word they taught him for the ice cream parlor. With each trip, they ordered the biggest sundae that was offered with three spoons, and Harry always ate nearly all of it. They kept it up until the day Harry asked Lily to take him to the library and, when confronted with the shelves piled high with books, he asked her where they went to order their ice cream.

Remus and Sirius got married when Harry was three, and Harry was the ring bearer. Lily cried the first time she saw him in his tiny dress robes. They were just long enough that he nearly tripped halfway up the aisle. There wasn’t a single pair of dry of eyes in the audience that day.

Everyone lived, and on Harry’s sixth birthday, he celebrated alongside Neville with all their friends and family. James gave Harry his first set of toy Quidditch balls. He, Ron, Neville, Draco, and Ginny all played together until Draco pushed Neville off his broom and into the cake Alice had spent hours working on. Lily tried so hard not to laugh at Neville’s frosting-covered face, but instead she went beet red and gave herself away to everyone.

Draco said he was sorry. He actually meant it.

Everyone lived, and the moms had a Lockhart book club, which consisted of everyone getting wine-drunk and complaining about their husbands together. Draco, Neville, Harry and Ron eavesdropped and reported back to their dads, who were standing around the kitchen armed with beer, about what they did wrong that week. Each of the meetings somehow coincidentally ended with each of the men stopping by to bring their respective wives bouquets of flowers or boxes of chocolate “because they just felt like it.”

Everyone lived, and Draco and Harry were friends, believe it or not. When Narcissa and Lucius had a date night, they dropped Draco off at the Potters. James told them scary stories in the darkness of their blanket tent. Lily used magic to cast shadows all over their living room, and Harry and Draco wouldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. But Lily kissed each of their foreheads and assured them each that everything would be fine, because she and James would never let anything bad happen to either of them.

She meant it.

Draco and Harry stayed up until their eyelids were simply too heavy to bear, but Harry managed to remain awake till Draco was completely asleep before closing his eyes. It was one of the most peaceful things he’d ever seen. He wasn’t exactly sure why he thought that. Not yet, anyways.

Everyone lived. Everyone got a little bit older. The kids all went off to Hogwarts, somehow managing to stuff themselves all into one train compartment, even with Hermione once she joined. Draco and Harry got put into different houses, which was a relief to everyone around them. “they already bickered like a married couple without rooming together,” Ron said when they were first sorted, “I don’t want to think about what we’d have to deal with if they were sharing a dorm.”

The only time Harry and Draco forgot about their friendship was when they played against each other in Quidditch. There were no rules when you needed to be the first one to the snitch.

(I suppose there weren’t any rules when it came to making out with your best friend in an empty corridor after drinking half a bottle of fire whiskey, either.)

Sixth year came with sly glances and brushing fingertips in the hallway; throwing all caution to the wind and risking friendship for feelings Harry and Draco had been denying since they were kids. Ron and Hermione exchanged knowing looks, but no one said a word. Not even when Harry inconspicuously crept out of bed nearly every night at half past two with his Invisibility cloak in tow, not returning until the sun was just peeking out over the mountains, if at all. He looked happier than ever that year, secrets tugging on the corners of his mouth every time he spoke.

Everyone lived, and when Draco and Harry came out to their families their seventh year, everyone groaned. “You owe me ten Galleons,” was the first thing James said to Lucius, and Harry knew then that everything was going to be okay.

Because everyone was here, surrounding him, breathing, alive. They all hugged him and Draco at once, cheeks smooshed together, a mess of laughter and “I love you’s” and kisses on foreheads. They were all connected then, their pulses stitching them together with a bond Harry knew nothing could break.

They all knew hurt; they knew pain and suffering, and they knew loss, but most of all, they knew each other. They knew love, and they knew hope.

As they stood there, a giant amoeba of people from all walks of life, some more challenging than others, Harry let go of the breath he felt as though he had been holding for his entire life.

9

*Throws hands up defeatedly into the air* UGH.

(Part 1 & 2 of Sonic in Retro Clothes Series)

6

Nagachika, why are you willing to go this far for Kaneki Ken?
Why?
Because I love him.