not even half of the members though

Who the signs are to you:


  • Aries: the person you don’t really know well, but you’re always having a great time going out together 
  • Taurus: that weirdo at work you just can’t get along with without any apparent reason 
  • Gemini: that from-time-to-time sex partner 
  • Cancer: your little sister you always have to protect from everyone 
  • Leo: shopping buddy 
  • Virgo: that one bitchy, arrogant chick you couldn’t stand at the first sight
  • Libra: future wife/husband 
  • Scorpio: that one ex you’ll always feel attracted to, even though it will never work out 
  • Sagittarius: crush 
  • Capricorn: that weird nerdy neighbour that looks quite lovely but you never spoke a word to them 
  • Aquarius: that one person that gets everything you want so much
  • Pisces: just a random useless person


  • Aries: an annoying guy at work who gets all the credits you deserve
  • Taurus: your first love you’ll never forget
  • Gemini: that two-faced bitch you’re a little jealous of
  • Cancer: that person you’re not really best friends with but to whom you can always turn when you feel down
  • Leo: that hot guy you secretly crave
  • Virgo: a childhood friend that helped you become who you are now
  • Libra: your boss
  • Scorpio: your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Sagittarius: crazy, odd creep that entertains you when you’re sad
  • Capricorn: bff!
  • Aquarius: your loving grandmother
  • Pisces: that one pervert you know who always makes you laugh 


  • Aries: a huge crush you can’t get over no matter what you do
  • Taurus: high school desk neighbour
  • Gemini: the person you laugh the most with
  • Cancer: your one & only real love
  • Leo: drinking buddy
  • Virgo: that one annoying person that always sees through you not buying your lies like others do
  • Libra: that girl intriguing all the time
  • Scorpio: that bitch with a few kilogrammes makeup on you just can’t stand
  • Sagittarius: best travel partner you’ll ever have
  • Capricorn: your older brother
  • Aquarius: the person you know has a crush on, but you can’t relate, even though you’re enjoying this fact
  • Pisces: the one who does all your homework 


  • Aries: you wish you had their confidence
  • Taurus: childhood neighbour
  • Gemini: your job partner who does all the work
  • Cancer: your opposite gender best friend, the prove that girl & boy can be just friends
  • Leo: they’re so beautiful, I wish I had a little of their beauty
  • Virgo: that person that tries to make you believe in how amazing you are
  • Libra: that weird person who never talks but you somehow still hang out with them
  • Scorpio: that one person who talks so sarcastically that you can’t understand if they’re being serious or not
  • Sagittarius: that annoying bitch bullying you all the time
  • Capricorn: that one person you will always like even though it doesn’t work out between you
  • Aquarius: how can you be so arrogant?
  • Pisces: best friend 


  • Aries: slaying together!
  • Taurus: that one friend you’re trying to make more social, ‘cause they’re actually pretty cool, but they just prefer to Netflix & chill at home
  • Gemini: that one sarcastic but charming guy you like, but they keep making fun of your attitude
  • Cancer: your spiritually obsessed uncle
  • Leo: your wingman who always steals your girls in the end
  • Virgo: that silent friend who gets crazy as hell when drunk
  • Libra: your personal clown, basically entertaining you through life
  • Scorpio: the only person that knows how to handle your ego, but you can’t trust them, ‘cause they have some kind of power over you
  • Sagittarius: cooking partner
  • Capricorn: your older, smarter sister, but you’re always beating her in being popular & hot
  • Aquarius: the only person you will fall in love with for real
  • Pisces: your boss who’s way too easy to manipulate


  • Aries: that one guy who gets all the girls you like because they’re hot & charming, but you’re just a shy potato 
  • Taurus: an actual friend
  • Gemini: that one person you feel kind of alike with but you still just don’t like them 
  • Cancer: your boo
  • Leo: that girl you thought was your best friend but she has like 5 other best friends and so you feel somehow friendship wise heartbroken
  • Virgo: that fling you had on a holiday but it was so good you won’t ever forget them
  • Libra: I wish I was as creative & adorable as they are
  • Scorpio: your wife who’s gonna leave you in the end ‘cause she will realise how different you are after 10 years of marriage
  • Sagittarius: that hot girl you totally have a crush on but she’s out of your league, ‘cause well, you’re still a potato
  • Capricorn: the only friend who actually knows how to deal with your weirdnesses and phobias
  • Aquarius: your psychologist 
  • Pisces: a girl you get perfectly along with, but can’t really understand why, because you’re so different


  • Aries: partner in crime
  • Taurus: your beauty idol you always try to copy
  • Gemini: only you can understand both of their faces
  • Cancer: that lovely person having so much bad luck that you always feel sorry for them
  • Leo: that flowers obsessed relative
  • Virgo: your neighbour 
  • Libra: that one boring person that always asks you to go out. You know it’s gonna be boring but can’t say no, 'cause they are actually really nice
  • Scorpio: that person you’re inhumanly attracted to 
  • Sagittarius: fiancé(e) that’s gonna leave you at the altar 
  • Capricorn: fiancé(e) that’s gonna marry you
  • Aquarius: long lost half sister who turns out to be really cool 
  • Pisces: the shoulder to cry on from time to time


  • Aries: a huge crush who doesn’t really like you back but you keep trying, even though you know it’s gonna hurt
  • Taurus: your favourite singer
  • Gemini: the best person to have late night conversations with
  • Cancer: a lovely family member you will always support
  • Leo: that bitch needing attention all the time but you’re too busy being self-absorbed
  • Virgo: the sign that 90% of your crushes are
  • Libra: your best freaking sex partner ever 
  • Scorpio: childhood love that never really faded
  • Sagittarius: that one cheater boyfriend you somehow forgive over and over again 
  • Capricorn: your daughter you can act like best friends with
  • Aquarius: unexplainably undesirable person 
  • Pisces: best friend you never dare getting in a romantic relationship with because you know you’ll hurt them


  • Aries: your modelling partner 
  • Taurus: that stubborn little shit always trying to ruin your life
  • Gemini: you don’t know it yet but they’re the love of your life 
  • Cancer: that person with an amazing taste in music so you can’t stop admiring it
  • Leo: drinking buddy
  • Virgo: your favourite actor  
  • Libra: your make up artist
  • Scorpio: your witch neighbour, you don’t believe she actually is one but she scares you anyway somehow
  • Sagittarius: best travel buddy 
  • Capricorn: that gloomy person, you never what they are actually thinking 
  • Aquarius: on/off relationship 
  • Pisces: that one person always trying to joke but has an awful sense of humour


  • Aries: your female friend that is amazingly beautiful & kind but just doesn’t believe it and all you do is trying to build up a little confidence in her
  • Taurus: your gay best friend
  • Gemini: lovely & interesting person to spend time with without any real trust
  • Cancer: that one adorable human being you will always wonder about like: how can you be so lovely & innocent?
  • Leo: that one bitch always trying to ruin your life, making drama around you now and then
  • Virgo: that person you get along with perfectly, you understand each other without words, you absolutely love them, but you’ll always stay friends because there’s a lack of physical attraction 
  • Libra: they want you.
  • Scorpio: a fling
  • Sagittarius: that person you like somehow but it never comes to a real relationship, they seem not to notice you the right way
  • Aquarius: that annoying relative always judging you
  • Pisces: that one fake ass ex you’ll never forgive yourself dating


  • Aries: a friend that always manages to cheer you up
  • Taurus: that lovely person you always wanted to get to know, but you have no idea how to start a conversation
  • Gemini: just… bae
  • Cancer: head up, your crown is falling. Oh wait, which crown?
  • Leo: your most beautiful friend. she’s the only one allowed to be more beautiful than you are
  • Virgo: your long-lost child
  • Libra: that one friend that lives on the other side of the world but you stay friends no matter what
  • Scorpio: a person that life always puts as an interference to you, so you end up hating them
  • Sagittarius: that one relative you never meet ‘cause they’re always travelling
  • Capricorn: that one friend that seems completely heartless to you
  • Aquarius: a bitch you’re always competing with 
  • Pisces: you fell in love with their kindness


  • Aries: wait… who? 
  • Taurus: that one person who protects you in difficult situations every time
  • Gemini: they seem so lovely why can’t they stop bullying me?
  • Cancer: cry buddy
  • Leo: that person with a huge heart, it isn’t obvious at first sight but you can trust them with anything
  • Virgo: future husband you will finally feel secure with 
  • Libra: they are so beautiful you can’t help falling in love with them 
  • Scorpio: gossip girl friend 
  • Sagittarius: stupid high school buddy 
  • Capricorn: your long-term love that you can’t forget 
  • Aquarius: that married guy you can’t stop wanting
  • Pisces: bestie
{Reaction} Falling Asleep on BTS’ Shoulder

Are requests open? If so, can I request BTS reacting to you falling asleep and accidentally resting your head on their shoulder?

Note: This was so sweet, thank you for this request I really loved writing it. Thank you for your patience, and alas, here is the reaction. 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the gifs/images used.

Min Yoongi/ Suga

Originally posted by cyyphr

It was clear that you had been tired before the film had even begun, but it wasn’t until about half way though that your eyelids started to get heavy. You were sat between the end of the sofa and Yoongi, the other members of BTS sprawled out across the other furniture and the floor. As a particularly sad scene played out on the screen, your head dropped onto Yoongi’s shoulder. He cursed under his breath, not expecting the sudden contact. He looked at you, was about to say your name when he heard your deep breathing and realised you’d fallen asleep. He didn’t dare to move except for his lips, which curved up in a smile he could not battle against. It wasn’t until the end of the movie that the other members had noticed.

Taehyung: “{y/n} is sleeping you know, we should probably wake-”

Yoongi: “Don’t you dare, {y/n} is tired. Just let them rest.”

Taehyung: “Sure, that’s what this is all about. You’re not saying that because you have a crush on {y/n} or anything and you don’t want to move-”

Yoongi: “I will kick you.”

Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by apgujeon

Jungkook felt his heart flutter inside of his chest as your head fell onto his shoulder. His breaths became shorter and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He found himself just watching you in admiration, unsure how someone can look so adorable and sweet when they sleep. During the day, you express so many different emotions, to extreme happiness and smiles on your face, or stress with tears streaming down your cheeks. But when you’re like this, you’re so carefree, your lips pouting ever so slightly and looking so soundless. It’s beautiful. Jungkook almost jumps when Jimin appears before him, smirking.

Jimin: “Your shoulder is going to kill if you let {y/n} stay like that all night, you know.”

Jungkook: “I don’t care”

Jimin: “You’re so smitten”

Kim Taehyung/ V

Originally posted by donewithjeon

Taehyung laughed as your head fell against his shoulder, he didn’t realised that you’d nodded off to sleep. He spoke your name a few times, and was about to start shaking you when he realised your breaths were heavier than before. He chuckled lightly to himself and allowed you to rest against him for a while, shushing the other members to inform them that he wanted the room silent so you could sleep. As it got later into the night, Taehyung decided it was too late to let you walk home, especially alone so he scooped you up into his arms and carried you up to his bed, allowing you to rest in the comfort. But as he turned to grab a spare blanket, your smaller hand wrapped around his wrist.

{y/n}: *half asleep* “Stay”

Taehyung: “Are you sure?”

{y/n}: *grumbles in confirmation*

Taehyung: *doesn’t need asking twice*

Kim Namjoon/ Rap Monster

Originally posted by rapnamu

Namjoon looked at you as your head fell onto his shoulder, and he wasn’t the only one to notice. He rolled his eyes at the way Hoseok was winking at him and Taehyung was laughing childishly as though he’d never seen anything so cute before in his life. Namjoon crossed his arms, his exterior showing that he was confident, that he didn’t care, however on the inside he was screaming. He worried that you’d wake if he moved, and he didn’t want that. He also didn’t want you to wake up and be weirded out that he hadn’t woken you up. A continuous battle played out in his head, all the while his face showing that he was calm and collected even though he was anything but that.

Taehyung: “Are you sure you’re not nervous, because your red cheeks say otherwise.”

Namjoon: “Unless you wanted extended intense dance training, shut your face.”

Jung Hoseok/ J-Hope

Originally posted by leojuseyo

As far as Hoseok was concerned you were asleep. Your head rested against his shoulder, looking down so he couldn’t see your face. He relaxed into the sofa, pulling you into his side and covered you both more with the blanket as the film played out on the screen before the two of you and the other members. Yes, he was perfectly happy, that was until you started to move your hand dangerously close to his crotch. He frowned as your fingers glided under his shirt and across his stomach, then inside of his thighs. It took him a while to figure out what you were doing, but it all became clear when he felt his jean zipper being pulled down.

J-Hope: “Well then! I think it’s time {y/n} and I turned in.” *scoops you up in his arms - he will have no mercy for you to tease him like that in front of the others. Good luck*

Park Jimin

Originally posted by jiyoongis

Jimin panicked from the moment that your head fell against his shoulder. He wasn’t sure what to do, if he should wake you or leave you at his side. He’d liked you for so long that this seemed like the most important thing. His head wandered to the possibility of you liking him back, he was worrying himself so much that he didn’t realise that he, himself was tired. As he started to calm a little, he realised how drowsy he really was, and it wasn’t long until he was also asleep, his head resting against yours. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook and Taehyung, or the cameras they held in their hands.

Jimin: *the next morning* “Jungkook and Taehyung why is there a photo of me and {y/n} sleeping all over the internet?! I will kill you both!”

Kim Seokjin/ Jin

Originally posted by bwiseoks

When your head fell against Jin’s shoulder, he smiled sweetly, then shifted so that you were lying down on the sofa with your head on his lap. He brushed the strands of hair from your face and watched as you breathed more deeply. You looked different when you were sleeping, there was something so enticing about it. Jin ran his fingers over your face, lining your jaw and your cheeks contently, thinking about how much he really loves you until he eventually falls asleep himself.

Jin: “Ah~ my Jagi is so beautiful”




FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF with the lightest most PG mention of sex

Originally posted by syubto

masterlist | ask

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Prompt: Date Night!

It’s Fanfic Sunday! (Monday whoops, ran a little late because I got carried away with the writing) Prompt is Formal Event + aquarium date, suggested by an anon and the discord chat! <3 Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy the read! Will try to do the other prompts next time! Read it under read more!

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No Strings (VII)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jimin

Rating: 18+ (smut)

Word Count: 4,956

Summary: It started off as such a simple question. How to know if you’re bad in bed? Of course when you asked, you didn’t imagine Jimin would actually answer.

Originally posted by mayfifolle

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“She should cut her nails” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The men of the Justice League tease Batman about the scratches on his back, and the love bites on his chest…Bruce is not amused.

Just a silly fic cause why not. Wrote it in literally fifteen minutes because I was bored, and didn’t proofread (as usual really) so it’s quite meh, hope you’ll still like it though :

(My masterlist blog here :

I wrote some sort of part two to this, it’s here if you’re interested : “Bruce…sucks !”


Bruce could feel their gaze on his back. He knew they were smiling like idiots behind him, and he heard them giggle a few times, like goddamned teenagers.

He finally turned around to face his fellow Justice League members, that had been staring at him for the past hour. They were in the men shower room of the headquarter, and the fact that they were all half-dressed made them look even more ridiculous, with their idiotic smile on their faces.

Hell, even J’onn was snickering with them ! Bruce would expect from Clark, Oliver, Barry and maybe Arthur to laugh like nitwits, but J’onn ? He thought he was better than this.

And yet, here he was, grinning at the Batman like a moron.

-What ?

Bruce asked a bit coldly, even though he already knew what was going on.

Clark answered, a sly smile on his stupid handsome face :

-We were just wondering…When did you got those scratches on your back ? Like, which villain inflicted you such terrible wounds ?

Bruce rolled his eyes. By now, Barry and Oliver couldn’t hold their laughter, though the look the Bat gave them stopped them cold in their track. Damn that man could be intimidating, even for them…Bruce, glaring at them, went on :

-Are you guys fifteen ?

Keep reading

Knuckles : Boxer!Ashton One Shot

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight

[Following anyone/everyone who leaves some form of thoughtful feedback x]

- Knuckles Playlist

Talk about a third date. 

If it were any other boy you’d probably be out at a restaurant or something on a night like this, flirting nervously across the dinner table while you try to decipher if he likes you enough to take your relationship to the next level. You’ve gone through the dating routine once or twice before, and had a pretty good idea of what to expect; if someone had told you a month ago you’d be standing right outside of a boxing ring while your date and another shirtless man beat each other to a pulp, you would’ve thought they were crazy. 

The crowd around you gasps and your own stomach lurches, empathetically feeling the punch that Ashton just took to the cheek. Blood is already dripping down his face, the source of it located just over his left eyebrow. He looks like a mess yet he’s still on his feet somehow, determined to keep retaliating, apparently even if it kills him. 

“Don’t worry,” Calum says next to you after noticing your concerned expression, “I’ve seen him win in worse conditions." 

You want to smile, appreciative of his effort to ease your mind, but every couple of seconds Ashton keeps getting hit, hard. It doesn’t matter to you whether he wins or loses, you just hope that your fourth date won’t have to take place beside a hospital bed. 

"Is it almost over?” you ask Calum, too new to this sport to know the ins and outs of the rule book. 

“One more round after th–Oh!

You missed what happened, but look back at the ring to find the opponent, a man named Donovan Diaz, struggling to stand up. Given the cheers from the audience, it sounds like most of the people here have their money on Ashton, and he just brought them one step closer to profiting. 

The round concludes and the fighters return to their separate corners, two teams quickly making their way into the ring to begin fixing up their boys. You wish you were allowed up there, yearning just to talk to Ashton, to treat him gently after witnessing the beating he’s taken for the last half an hour. Sitting on the short stool between rounds is the closest he’s been to you all night, each break like a minute-long tease that only makes you want to be near him more. You haven’t even said hi to him yet, not given the chance to do so before the match started. 

He knows you’re here, though. He spotted you next to his friend Calum after walking away from the first round, and lost focus for a brief second to give you a smile and a flirty wink. Some crowd members noticed, chiming in with playful remarks and whistles, causing your cheeks to burn bashfully. Ashton seemed so confident and well put together then, but that spark isn’t as evident now that he can barely keep his swollen eyes open while his crew tidies up his blood-splattered face. 

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Hakyeon :

★such a gentleman
★he’ll run you a bath
★has special bubble bath that he only uses for this occasion
★lavender to relax your muscles and calm you
★he’ll sit with you in the bath, holding you to his chest and kissing all over your shoulders
★won’t actually talk about what happened until the morning after
★he wants all of his focus on making you feel loved and happy
★let’s just say you’d be rich if you got paid for every ‘i love you’ he said to you
★washes your hair
★if you’ve long hair, he’ll dry it for you and put it out of the way so you can sleep well
★you’d normally drift off into dreamland after this sort of activity
★but on the rare occasion you two still have energy
★he’ll put on your favourite movie, get snackies and you’ll just have a real cozy time in eachother’s arms


★not much gets done after he’s pounded into you at a million miles an hour
★if you’ve got energy left he gets offended
★and takes you again to make sure you’re properly fucked out
★if you’re gonna do it, do it right right~
★for real, he can’t just leave you with one orgasm
★he needs to see you destroyed
★only then will he know he’s done good
★he’ll rap you in the bed covers and push any hair out of your face
★his eyes will stay on your face
★he’s so confused with your sexed out look
★you glow???
★doesn’t verbally tell you he loves you
★he’ll stroke your skin
★your hair
★your lips
★and whisper about how he’ll always be there for you
★and that he’ll protect you from everything


he’s my bias so don’t mind while i go ham
★this bub has your aftercare routine down
★he’ll have everything already prepared and ready to go
★imo he goes hard or goes home
★so you’re going to be s o r e
★your lower region is numb in the most incredible way
★he’ll rub cream all over you
★and smother each area in 'healing kisses’
★don’t laugh at him for doing this
★it’ll make him go into the 20 minute talk on how his kisses actually help you heal
★he’s memorized your face cleaning routine
★he’ll sit you on the bathroom sink and clean you
★then he’ll bust out our favourite shirt of his and lets you wear it
★once back in bed and he knows you’re comfy
★he’ll go get food
★10/10 it’s fruit
★'it’s healthy and it’ll get your energy back’
★you can’t complain
★because he lays you in his lap and feeds you
★while his other hand plays with your hair
★this is the time when you discuss the most important things
★and by that i mean he’ll tell you ever little detail of their comeback plans
★most of the time you fall asleep half way through him talking
★who wouldn’t
★his voice is beautiful
★like he could read the phonebook and i’d listen


★another member that goes hard or goes home
★so after he’s done you’re kinda just a shaking, moaning mess
★he won’t move from atop of you until your breathing has returned to normal
★i think it’ll take him a while to get out of his dom mode
★meaning even though you were sore as fuck, his praise got you aroused all over again
★devil man
★'your hole always makes daddy feel so good’
★'you look so delicious when you’ve been destroyed by my cock’
★w o n s i k s t o p
★ you teasing little fuck
★once he’s out of his dom mode prepare for nuzzles
★his deep voice will just send you right off to sleep


★fucking you into the sheets makes this guy hungry
★'you have to eat lots for energy after such aggressive exercise’
★so while you’re in the bathroom cleaning yourself up
★he’ll order so much food for the two of you
★seriously, it’s like a banquet
★he’ll lay it out on the bed and he’ll feed you
★this precious bean
★he’ll try to be sexy to turn you on again so you can go another round
★but he looks like an idiot
★he’ll be weird with his praise to you
★with a mouthful of noodles he’ll tell you that you’ve made Daddy proud
★which causes you to laugh
★after you’ve eaten all you can
★you’ll both settle down in bed and cuddle
★he’ll hum your favourite song to you to help you get off to sleep


★like wonsik he’ll stay over you as your body spasms in pleasure
★won’t pull out
★he fucking loves cock warming
★his cock buried in you and his face pressed to your neck is his fave position to sleep in
★he’ll lock your fingers together and rub his thumb over your skin
★the softest 'i love yous’ will be spoken
★pls don’t try move because he needs to stay close to you
★if you do need to move for the toilet or to swap your position he’ll just whine until he can get close to you again


A user just messaged us asking if we could talk about community college and I cannot resist this topic. I’m about to go full-on rant in favor of community colleges, so sit tight.

Community college is fucking amazing. It’s a great way to get all of your prerequisites out of the way and kind of feel out the whole college experience without having to amass a lifetime of debt in the process. People give community college kids hell because they think it’s somehow lesser or makes you trash and I hope you spit on those people. I hope you laugh at their crushing debt. I hope you make them cry. Leave community college kids alone. They are doing the best they can and they are the ones who are out there taking advantage of what little their country is doing to help them with education and they deserve your respect. Anyone who wants to further their own education in any way deserves your respect and you damn well better recognize.

I was extremely fortunate to go to community college and have the state completely pay for it  completely (sometimes it pays to be poor). That’s right: the state of Illinois, that money leech of a state, actually paid for 2.5 years of my education and even let me keep what money I didn’t use on tuition for books and clothes and gas and all that other shit that colleges don’t tell you about when they tell you how great they are. These grants would not be possible had I not gone to a community college and that allowed me to knock off all those classes I didn’t want to take. At community college, you take all the low-level shit like math and bio so you don’t need to worry about taking them at a 4-year university, should you decide to transfer later.

The best thing is that there’s less risk. Sure, you still need to take specific classes to earn your associate’s degree, if that’s the route you want to take, but if there’s a class that interests you, you can take it and it won’t cost very much. No education is completely cost free or guilt free, but community colleges come pretty damn close. The best thing to do to figure out your major, I think, is take the lower level classes in areas you might want to major/minor in and then see if you actually like them.

I’ve known so many people who go to a 4-year college for a specific major only to find out they like it in theory, but fucking hate it in reality, and then they’re totally fucked because the major they want to switch to doesn’t exist at their university. That issue doesn’t come up so much with community colleges because everything is generalized. Community colleges want to serve the community at large, not focus in on specifics. 

Another thing to remember is that there are multiple paths available to you with community college. You can earn a 2-year degree and transfer somewhere without them looking too closely at your piss-poor high school grades. Actually, if you have a degree, most schools won’t even ask for your high school transcript, which is lucky for you, I’m sure. The other thing is that you don’t need a degree, you can just transfer because like my counsellor once said: once you have your bachelor’s, no one fucking cares about anything you earned before that.

But hey, maybe you don’t want to transfer to a 4-year school, that’s okay too! There are plenty of fields that only require a 2-year degree. You can be an LTA or a vet tech or whatever the hell program it is that your community college is really trying to sell you on. Not every job needs a 4-year degree, which no one seems to tell kids anymore. Yes, a college education is important, but not all college educations are the same. But that doesn’t mean people should look down on your associate’s degree. Seriously, fuck anyone who disses you for wanting to better yourself.

Another pro for community colleges: campus resources. Not everyone who goes to college is just out of high school, so not everyone has access to all the super cool shit that you ungrateful bastards are currently ignoring in your career services office. Maybe you’re just finishing high school and you’re now realizing what a dipshit you were to think you could figure out your college plans after graduation. It’s okay! Community colleges have your back. Community colleges have excellent career advisors and college counsellors on staff to help you make the most of community college and make it easier transition to a 4-year university—or into your field of choice. Again, your life is your own fucking life, you get to choose what you fucking deal with it, but they’re here to help you. They will help you do research, find the best schools, help you find money, tell you about internships in the area, and help you get your shit together and hide the evidence of your previous academic career. They’ll full-on Pygmalion you, if you let them.

Another great campus resource for figuring out your major/life are school activities. There’s such a wide variety of things offered on campus that can help you try things out without having to take classes or pay out the nose. And they make your resume look good. I wrote like three book reviews for the school paper and they still let me put it on my resume forever that I was involved even though I was too damn lazy to attend a single meeting and colleges ate that shit up. Plus, you can have a lot of fun and make lifelong friendships and meet the person of your dreams and all that high school hallmark shit that teen tv shows try to sell you on.

Community college is for everyone, it’s about making the community as a whole a better, more educated place. Its sole purpose is to take sadsacks like yourself and turn you into decent members of society (or at least half-decent, they’re not miracle workers and some of you need a shit ton of help). They help newly graduated teens and they help stay at home moms who want to get back to school and they’re even there for the people who don’t want a degree, who just want to learn how to swear in French so they can understand the locals when they travel abroad. There are so many options offered by community colleges!

So, I say again: stop shitting on community college kids. Or community college adults. Stop shitting on people for wanting to better themselves. Stop shitting on people for trying to get a better education. Stop shitting on people for trying to save money. Stop shitting on people for making the best of their situations. Just stop fucking shitting on people and grow the fuck up.

topics josh needs to touch in his F2 speech against p*ul:

•how the friendship bracelets set p*ul off at a good start. Of course ppl are going to align with a vet who gifted them with safety for the first elimination

•the pendant of protection and how even though it was given to p*ul fairly, it granted him with a couple weeks of safety and it was a huge lifevest for his game in a house full of sharks. josh did not have that privilege and had to scramble harder to survive week by week during the first half of the game.

•p*ul’s game lacked something that josh’s didn’t. BASIC LOYALTY. josh needs to stress the fact that p*ul constantly turned his back on his alliance members when he felt like he didn’t need them anymore and would lie and say that he didn’t have a hand in their evictions. josh on the other hand stuck to his week one alliance and made it to F3 with them.

•p*ul’s a rat just like he was in bb18. p*ul is a huge snitch in secret. he relayed secrets back and forth and swears he did not. he did the same last season

•p*ul’s game isn’t credible. instead of owning up to big moves to houseguests, p*ul would rather sit and act like he was innocent everytime one of his “allies” were “blindsided.” bb masterminds own up to their moves and are respected for it.

•everyone josh called out on their shit, they went home. Also, he was right! kevin had the 25k! mark was a flip-flopper! elena was playing a low game by not creating enimies!

•josh sent home big threats during both of his hohs while p*ul’s first two were flops. like it or not, jess was a dangerous competitor when she wasn’t aligned with cody. alex was a huge threat too! p*ul failed at getting out jody TWICE.

GOT7: their s/o steals their shirts

when I was dating my ex girlfriend, she practically lived in my closet. but she’s like, eight inches shorter than me so I could wear nothing of hers. the pain


Mark loves seeing you in his shirts, ok? Especially if they’re slightly big on you and soft and he can pull you into his arms and cuddle for hours. If it were a common occasion for you to show up for a date in a shirt he hadn’t even noticed had disappeared, he’d literally melt into a Mark-shaped puddle on the floor (ok, not literally, but you get me), smiling nonstop and hugging you until you’re about 87% sure his arms have left indentions in your ribs. He doesn’t care if you steal so many shirts that he’s only got two left- it’s worth it for the feeling he gets when he sees them draped over your shoulders. 

“You’re so cute, Y/N. I’m serious.” 


Jaebum is torn between thinking you’re adorable in his shirts and thinking you’re hot as fuck in his shirts. Either way, he loves it. Not only do you look absolutely brilliant in his shirts, but it’s pretty obvious that you’re taken, so others are less likely to flirt with you. And, of course, he loves showing you off and this is a perfect way to do that. He probably buys shirts, wears them twice, and then leaves them at your place, though, so that he still has a closet after you visit. You’d sometimes catch him staring at you when you’re wearing one of his shirts with a proud expression painted on his face

“You should wear my shirts more often. It’s hot.” 


Jinyoung won’t admit it very often, but he loves how you look in his shirts. That said, he’s not a huge fan of you stealing them. They are his shirts, after all. If you were just hanging out with him and stole a shirt to wear for that, though, he wouldn't be able to tear his eyes away from you. If you’re out in public in his shirt, he feels conflicted because on one hand, everyone knows you’re his and he loves that feeling, but on the other hand, he prefers these things to be done in private. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t think you look amazing, however, and he’ll probably compliment you at least once or twice, though he won’t do it more than that because he’s trying to convince you to stop stealing his clothes lmao

“You look amazing. Do you not have shirts of your own, though?” 


Proud af boyfriend. He thinks you’re drop-dead gorgeous no matter what you wear, but seeing you in one of his shirts is almost a religious experience for him. He would literally give you the shirt from off his back if it meant he got to see you in it, no joke. He wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of you when you wore his shirts, by the way, so get ready for that. His arms will be around your waist, slung over your shoulder, tangled up in your hair, whatever- they’re going to be on you. Get ready to be shown off. You could have the flu and look like an absolute mess but he’s grabbing a random stranger and telling them to look at his beautiful s/o (but not too long, he aint about that) 

“Isn’t Y/N beautiful? Seriously, so sexy. My heart stops every day.” 


Youngjae thinks it’s hilarious how he never notices his shirts disappearing, yet you have such an extensive collection and how did you even manage this?? Impressive, really. He loves the way you look in his shirts, how they’re a little too big and the sleeves go past the length of your arms. He might get shy when he first sees you in one of his shirts in public because he thinks everyone knows that you got it from him and to him that’s such an intimate thing like !! ohmygod!! But he tells you that you look amazing about a million times, his signature smile coming out involuntarily. Probably can’t resist running the fabric through his fingers when you’re close to him because he’s in such awe of how good it looks on you and is it even real?

“Ah, Y/N. I don’t know what to say.”


Honestly, what did you expect from the king of memes? BamBam would have way too much fun with the fact that you loved stealing his shirts, purposely leaving the ugliest things he owns at your house and pretending to be upset when you didn’t wear them on dates with him. He’d probably spray a shirt with Pam’s Cooking Spray or some shit and give it to you to wear, no joke. On the flip side, he thinks you look hot as hell in his shirts and loves, loves, loves to see you wear them as long as you return them afterwards because he spent real money on those, ok? Also- he’d definitely take you shopping with the sole purpose of buying shirts for himself that you would steal later. 

“You look so sexy in my shirts. Probably because they’re mine.” 


Yugyeom would love seeing you in shirts because wow they look amazing on you and how are you so cute? It’s honestly not fair. That said, if you wore one of his shirts around the other members and they realized, he would die inside, blushing and hiding his face and giving them even more to tease him about tbh but hey he’s cute. Might take your hand and dash out of the room and down the street with you. Also might never let you near his members again for another year and a half. If it were just the two of you, though, he’d be the most smiley green bean on the planet, hugging you and holding your hand super tightly and gazing at you because he honestly can’t believe how great you look. Expect lots of forehead kisses

“I don’t know how to deal with how cute you are right now.” 

BTS Reaction - Giving them a lap dance + strip tease [NSFW]

Seokjin [Jin] -

Jin would be more than surprised to see you like this, but that wouldn’t mean he didn’t like it. His shocked face would quickly form into a smirk, his eyes maneuvering along your body. He’d want to reach out and touch your clit through your panties, however he’d restrain himself and let you do your thing. Jin could feel himself get more aroused by the minute, but once your dropped your bra to the ground and slipped out of your panties Jin felt his breath catch in his throat as his eyes visibly darkened. 

“You’re such a good girl for me.”

Originally posted by strawberrie-kookie

Yoongi [Suga] -

Yoongi wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of you. He’d love the way you made eye contact throughout the whole thing and how you teased him relentlessly. Every time you sat down on his painfully hard erection he’d have to resist the urge to take you right then and there. Yoongi wasn’t one for long drawn out foreplay, but seeing you in front of him slowly taking off the little amount of clothing that you had on while moving seductively with the rhythm made it all worth it.

“I think it’s time for daddy to reward his babygirl don’t you think?”

Originally posted by dangerously-jamless

Hoseok [J-Hope] -

Hoseok couldn’t hide his excitement once you sat him down on the chair and started moving your hips along to the beat. His eyes were glued to your nude body, clad in only a pair of pink panties. He’d love the taking things slow, so little mutters of encouragement escaped his lips every couple of minutes, urging you to keep going. However, Hoseok wouldn’t be able to stop his hands from wandering and would end up touching you every chance he got, loving the little moans and whimpers escaping your pink lips that mixed in with the slow music.

“Keep moving, just like that kitten.”

Originally posted by bangdulce

Namjoon [Rap Monster] -

Namjoon knew what you were doing, but decided to amuse you for awhile and sit back, keeping his hands to himself. Admittedly it was a lost easier said than done, but Namjoon was sure he could stick out until the end. However, once you started removing the one article of clothing that was covering your body he was done for. He’d not worry about his pride for once and let you see what you had done to him. The moment you sat down on his lap and rubbed your heat against his bugle he’d grip your ass and keep you seated as his lips found yours in a passionate kiss.

“You know what I like, don’t you baby?”

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Jimin -

Jimin would love this. Being a dancer himself he would admire the way your hips moved along with the beat and how you looked so sexy dancing in your underwear. He’d lean forward to get a closer look at you, shamelessly licking his lips as you flipped your hair over your shoulder, shooting him a sultry look and a smirk. Jimin would return the look before standing up and stopping your dance, pushing you against the nearest wall as his lips found yours in a heated kiss. Jimin pulled away after a few moments, catching his breath slightly and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, a hint of a smile ghosting over his plump lips.

“You’re in for a treat princess.”

Originally posted by stylishlyswift

Taehyung [V] -

Taehyung would just lean back and enjoy the sight of you dancing sensually to the music. He would be the most patient out of the members, enjoying the show while it lasted. Even though he got a little frustrated and his jeans got tighter by the minute he’d hold out, knowing that a mind blowing night was ahead of you both of you. Taehyung would constantly have to lick his chapped lips before returning his attention to you and your half nude state. He wouldn’t talk throughout the whole thing, only letting small hums of approval emit from his throat.

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Jungkook -

Jungkook would be the most nervous out of the members. A thin layer of sweat could be seen on his forehead as his widened eyes stuck to your semi nude form. After awhile though he would relax a little, even going as far as to pull you down a few times so your back was resting against his chest and your ass ground down on his growing erection. He’d probably interrupt your little show a few times, not being able to keep his hands off of you. 

“You’re so beautiful baby.” 

Originally posted by jeonify

The Quinx Were Always Terrifying

This is our introduction to the Quinx, half ghouls in everything but name and appetite. Despite being essentially half ghouls, they lack the menace that has surrounded the introduction of half ghouls in the past. Kaneki has a gentle personality to be sure, but even within the first few chapters before any of his major trauma set in he was still doing things like this.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Ok so I've been following you for a while and I always love when you give opinions on things. So can we discuss what kind of drunks you think each bts member would be? Also what are you? I'm like the super happy and horny drunk like I compliment everyone and always end up making new friends and I'm always ready to fuck as soon as I start getting tipsy lol don't judge me

I’m a pretty happy drunk. I can be shy and reserved in real life, but after drinking… I just want to be everybody’s best friend.  Also, I get real handsy when I’ve been drinking. I want to hug all the people and pet their hair.  

 As for the members…


Originally posted by jiminrolls

Jin:  Super friendly drunk.  Goes around and introduces himself to everyone in the bar.  Then introduces everyone to each other in the bar. “Hi, I’m Jin who are you? Mike? Nice to meet you Mike.” 5 minutes later “Hi, I’m Jin, who are you? Nancy?  Nice to meet you Nancy.  Have you met my new best friend Mike? No?  Here, come with me so you can meet him.” *drags Nancy across the bar to meet Mike* ALSO – when there is music playing, Jin goes out to the middle of the dance floor to bust out some super cool new dance moves that he just made up.

Originally posted by jjibooty

Yoongi: Oh my god obnoxiously bossy drunk and over explains everything. “Yah! You, stranger in the green hat standing next to me, did I just hear you say that Wu Tang Clan is overrated?  Make room for me because I’m gonna spend the next 30 minutes explaining why you are wrong and no, you may not interrupt me.”  ALSO – sings along, loudly and off key, to every fucking song that comes on – even if he doesn’t know the words.

Originally posted by yoongles

Hoseok: Sentimental and sappy drunk.  “Jiminie – have I ever told you that I love you?  You are a brother to me, man.  I would do anything for you.  Anything!” *hugs Jimin tightly, nearly cutting off his oxygen* “I love you man! I LOVE YOU!”  *sees lady at bar looking at him hugging Jimin* “Hey lady, look at this guy here – he’s the best guy in the world!  THE BEST! I LOVE THIS DUDE!”  ALSO – drunk dials everyone he knows – everyone.

Originally posted by apgujeon

Namjoon:  That philosophical streak he has when he’s sober?  It gets amped up 100000%. *stares at his glass of scotch on the rocks and turns to random person standing next to him* “Do you ever think about the ephemeral nature of ice?  It starts as liquid, is transformed to solid and the minute you take it out of the freezer to use it, it starts transforming back into liquid. It is destined to return to its natural state.  Do you think the ice is bothered by the external forces causing it to change? Aren’t people exactly the same way? External forces make us change but the change is impermanent the minute those forces are removed…” *person walks away shaking their head but Namjoon carries on with their conversation talking to no one*  ALSO – has a tendency to fall off his bar stool, repeatedly.

Originally posted by missbaptan

Jimin:  Horny drunk.  Embarrassingly horny drunk.  Wanders around the bar making eye contact with random women and licking his lips until he finds one that doesn’t find that overwhelmingly creepy.  Uses cheesy pick-up lines but is completely serious when he says it.  “You know, your body is 65% water.  And I’m thirsty.” Or “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”  Stares at your chest the entire time you talk to him.  Does nothing by grind against you if you agree to dance with him.  ALSO – loses all sense of direction.  Asks where the bathroom is and gets lost walking there even though it was only 15 feet away.

Originally posted by kths

Actual footage of drunk Taehyung not available.  You’ll just have to imagine him naked.

Taehyung: Exactly the same. Only naked.  Nobody knows why, but Taehyung has an overwhelming urge to disrobe whenever he gets drunk.  Usually, he can contain himself enough to only remove his shoes, socks and shirt before running down the street half dressed, but has been known to strip down to his undies and jump in a public fountain on occasion.  The members are constantly watching to make sure he doesn’t drink too much when they are out in public.  ALSO – climbs things; couches, fences, tables, people… he just doesn’t want to keep his feet on the ground.

Originally posted by jayfatuasian

Jungkook:  Competitive and a show-off.  *turns to random stranger* “You wanna arm wrestle?  Winner pays for the other’s drink.”  Constantly challenging people to a game of darts or pool or whatever is available.  If there is a dance floor, he’ll be out there challenging people to a dance off — only they generally don’t know that’s what he’s doing.  They just think he’s a weird guy who ran up to them and started aggressively dancing while staring them down.   ALSO – in his zeal to do everything better, faster, harder… he tends to knock a lot of stuff over.  Breaks glasses, runs into people, tips over chairs.

anonymous asked:

Can you do anyone of your choice swooping in for their s/o with someone who is flirting heavily with them and obviously making s/o uncomfortable


Shifting from foot to foot, you stood there trying to keep up your smile as a new trainee stood there leaning on the door and was relentlessly flirting in hopes of getting your number. It would have been cute if it didn’t feel so uncomfortable to you. Most of his comments had been on your butt during the mission, and honestly you kind of wanted to punch him.

“So,” the guy said, winking at you. You didn’t like how his eyes kept wandering lower, and tried to keep your temper. “ A girl as good looking as you deserves an equal. I was thinking maybe…7pm, my place, tomorrow night?”

Taking a slow breath, you forced yourself to keep up the smile that you’d plastered over your face. “That’s…really nice of you, but I’m busy tomorrow,” you said. You have been trying really hard not to make an argument or to plant your first in his face.

Honestly, you wanted to tell this kid off but he was a new recruit. And you didn’t like being mean to people if you could avoid it. The guy was just doing some…harmless flirting, you thought with disgust.

“Besides, I-,” you started to say but you were cut off.

“How about right now then?” The guy winked, stepping closer and into your bubble. Holy fuck, did you hate strangers in your bubble and the arrogance of this guy was starting to wear your patience down. “I have the time.”

Before you could speak, you saw the trainee’s eyes catch on something behind you and he took a slight step back. Footsteps walked over, slow and without hurry, before you saw the shadow cast over the wall.

“Hey darlin’,” you heard the deep, husky Texas accent of your fiancee, as an arm slipped around your waist. The scent of cigar smoke was heavy and you glanced up to see he was smoking one, his eyes locked on the kid. “This guy bothering you, sweetheart?”

“Hey baby,” you murmured, relief flooding you as you half turned your body into his side, sliding your arms around his waist. You were glad he was here, even though worry filled you at the same time.

“Don’t worry about him, Jesse,” you said softly, voice a bit low with warning and Jesse’s eyes flickered to yours.

Jesse McCree was by far one of the most protective men you’d ever seen. Although it didn’t matter when other over watch members looked or spoke to you, Jesse always got a bit irked when other men would look at you. After all, you were his baby doll and Jesse McCree took care of his own.

No one who had ever touched you survived, and no one who had ever flirted with you (Other then Mercy and Tracer) ever left without a broken tooth or a black eye. You loved how protective he was of you, knowing that of everything in the world he was just afraid he’d someday lose you, but you also didn’t want this kid to get hurt…

The trainee was looking back and forth between you both incredulously. “I…uh, didn’t know you had a boyfriend,” he started by saying, looking a bit uncomfortable now himself.

“Fiancee,” Jesse growled slightly, and you pinched his butt in warning. “If you were half as observant, or even just had half a brain, you’d ‘ave noticed the ring on her finger.”

The trainee’s eyes dropped to your hand and locked on the gold ring on your finger. It was obvious that he had NOT seen it.

“Its not my fault she didn’t say anything about it!” The trainee blurted. It was clear that Jesse’s presence was much more intimidating as you noticed that there was the barest tremor running through him.

“I tried to tell you!” you said with a scowl, annoyed now.

The trainee made a face at you. “If you really wanted me to know, you would have gotten it in,” he said, lip curling slightly. You found your hand itching to slap him. But thats okay, because Jesse was far more pissed then you.

Jesse let go of you and stepped forward, looming over the guy. He was rather tall, and the trainee was unfortunately a head shorter. The look in his eyes was terrifying.

“Excuse me?” Jesse growled, grabbing the guy by the front of his shirt and lifting onto his toes. “Don’t talk to y/n like that. Do you got it?”

The trainee nodded quickly, fingers gripping Jesse’s wrist and he looked terrified out of his wits. now. “If I ever catch you flirting with my baby again, you can bet high noon will be coming a bit early,” Jesse growled, his face close to the trainees. Their eyes were locked. There must have been something extra scary about Jesse because the trainee looked like he was going to faint.

Dropping him, the trainee fell to the floor and scrambled to get up. Jesse turned and immediately tugged you against him, uncaring if the trainee was still there as he pressed a hot, possessive kiss to your lips.

Your heart melted a bit. You couldn’t help loving him when he was like this…and the fact that he hadn’t just beat him to a pulp made you love him more.

“Well, Darlin’, guess we better head up for dinner,” Jesse said, starting to calm down. Without another word, you pulled him down for a second kiss before the two of you started to leave.

Except then, to everyone’s horror, the trainee muttered a little too audibly as he was hurrying away.

“Stupid bitch, getting me in shit…”

Cringing, you felt Jesse freeze and instantly you grabbed at his waist, moving in front of him to stare up at him. His eyes were icy and you could see he was biting the cigar hard.

“Baby, don’t do it. He isn’t worth it Jesse, right-?” you started to say, but Jesse turned and took a single shot.


The good news is the trainee is alive. Of course, it hadn’t stopped you from panicking and calling Mercy and Ana. Jesse got a massive lecture from Ana, who was just thankful that he only shot the trainee in the ass. Literally.

You couldn’t help wishing he had the barest bit more of self control, but in the end you were still thankful that Jesse had come to save you.

So that night, cuddled in his arms, you couldn’t help pressing a kiss to his forehead as he slept, watching him with adoration.

“I love you, you darn oaf,” you murmured, stroking the brown tresses from his face. You hadn’t realized he was awake till Jesse dragged you closer, burying his face in your hair as he sleepily yawned.

“Love you too, darlin.”

S2 Stat Wrap-Up!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times … and as we’re about to kick into S3, here is a long-overdue look at what the fandom was up to with writing fic over the past year:


  • Kara/James was knocked off the Top 10 back in January and staged an impressive comeback, regaining the #10 spot in May and more than doubling the amount of fic produced in S1.
  • All of the Alex hetships from S1 have flatlined, so they’ve been knocked off the board probably forever.
  • Kara/Mon-El did not break into the Top 10 until halfway through S2.
    • That said, the number of fics for Karamel exceeds the total for all other hetships combined, which … more on that later.
  • Fic output for S1 ships where one partner is absent in S2 was not affected by said absences.
  • Femslash output for S2 was not affected by anything fandom seems to think is important – the only thing that has a demonstrable effect on the larger fic trend for any ship is a sponsored writing week.
    • Output decline on Supercorp & Sanvers started much earlier than people think, and those drop-offs have been consistent for over six months now, fic-week bumps in June excluded.
    • That’s right: fic output for both ships went up in June at a normal rate, despite all the SDCC yelling.
    • On the flip side, “protest” ships did not actually catch on, unless you want to tell me 7 fics/month is popular.
  • The fic output now is at nearly the same volume it was this time last year.
  • Ship-free fic got a good boost in numbers, but it declined as a percentage of people’s writing interest. This tracks pretty neatly with the show’s prioritizing romantic relationships over the Danvers sisters.

Biggest change from S1 to S2: the amount of femslash increased by over 5%, but remained narrow in its focus.

Supercat accounted for over 60% of all femslash during S1, and the top three femslash pairings made up 88% of reading options, with 15 other ships rounding out that last 12%.

In S2, the top three pairings (Supercorp, Sanvers, and Supercat) made up 87.6% of all femslash fic, leaving that remaining 12.4% of fics to be split among forty different ships.

Meanwhile, the ratio of no-ship fic dropped as did the ratio of hetfic, even though both grew at substantial rates if you look at the raw numbers. (Both saw publication increases of about 3.5x their S1 totals.) Ratios of slashfic and OT3 fic, on the other hand, doubled – with one ship of each kind landing in spots #11 and #12 for most total fics.

Diversity among hetfic offerings also tanked in the same way they have for femslash, with Karamel now making up 60% of the total.

The amount of fic per rating is still basically the same – there’s been a slight uptick in Rated T/Rated M fics and a drop in Rated E/Not Rated stuff since last year, but it’s not noticeably large.

What’s interesting, however, is the broader trendlines in how much fic is published every month:

Blue is S2 and red is S1 – darker colors represent the whole fandom, lighter colors are femslash only.

Keep reading

You know what’s great about fairy tales that haven’t been made into Disney movies?  How completely bullshit they are.  Like, if it’s a popular enough fairy tale that it’s gotten its own movie, a lot of the completely random-seeming shit has probably been excised from that version.  If it’s just been left to molder since people stopped drinking beer for breakfast, started being able to read on a massive scale, and learned how not to give themselves ergot poisoning every winter…well, it might just sound like something a sleep-deprived kindergartener made up.

“Here, dearest sister, take this vial of water.  If it turns cloudy, you’ll know I’m sick.  If it turns red as blood, you’ll know I’m dead.”

“This is a very useful thing, dearest brother, as reliable post hasn’t been invented yet, and you’re going to just wander around until you make your fortune.  I have only one question.”


“Where the hell did you get this?”


“Where did you get a vial of water that magically knows if you’re sick or dead?  Like, did you just pick it up at the market?  Did you have to go see a witch?  How much did you pay for this?  The whole reason you’re leaving is that we’re fucking broke.”

“I just…it was just lying around.”

“What, in the attic?”

“I guess?”

“Why would we have a vial of water that can tell if you’re sick or dead just lying around in the attic?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe we can ask those animals that tricked the robbers out of their cabin in the woods.  They seem to know what they’re doing.”

“The animals…that tricked the robbers…out of their cabin.”


“I hate this town.”

“Young man, if you let me sit by your fire, I’ll give you a sack of gold that can never be emptied.”

“Why would you be just wandering around alone dressed like a beggar if you have a sack of gold that can never be emptied?”

“I just…am.  Fuck you.  You want the sack or not?  Because I am dog tired, and freezing cold, and offering you a magic money-sack if I can just take a load off.”

“This is the sort of magic sack that’s going to make me really happy for like six weeks and then I’m going to get murdered in my sleep by trolls, isn’t it?”

“…yes.  Do you want it or not?”

“What the hell, with plague going around again, I’m probably not going to live more than another few months, anyway.”

“That’s the sort of can-do spirit murder-trolls love to see!”



“Young lady, I’m very hungry, won’t you please share your bread with me?”

“Shit.  Are you the sort of stray dwarf I’m supposed to help, or are you going to murder me unless I start hitting you with a stick right now?”


“Those are my two options, right?  I mean, I can’t just say nah, I only have enough for me, and keep on walking.  I have to either feed you or beat the hell out of you.  So which is it?  I don’t want to get magic-murdered for picking wrong.  The last person you turned into a stone or a goat or whatever, what’d they do?”

Why is every traveler on this road so fucking weird?  I just want a hunk of bread, lady.“

“So you’re not magic?”

“Oh, well.  Yeah, of course I’m magic.”

“But you’re not going to do anything magic right now.”

“Are you on some bizarre quest to marry a prince even though you have absolutely no idea how to run a kingdom?”

“No, of course not.  Jesus.”


“I’m trying to figure out how to turn my seven brothers from dead swans back into humans permanently.”

“Your brothers were turned into dead swans.”

“I mean, I don’t really mind, because they transform back into men at night, but my fiance won’t get married until the mill’s courtyard isn’t full of dead swans all day.  He thinks it’s gruesome.”

“Why would anyone turn your brothers into dead swans?”

“We think the local witch was just trying to turn them into swans.  Or maybe kill them.  She was on a bender, so she can’t really remember.”

“Okay, but why?”

“My brothers were kind of dicks, before they got stuck as dead swans all day.“

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if you give me half your bread, I’ll tell you how to turn them back into people full-time.”

“Why are you being so nice all the sudden?”

“Because I now really need a beer, and I hate drinking on an empty stomach.”

“Young woman, who is coincidentally very beautiful and very virtuous even though you grew up very poor in a time when that very well may have meant chronic malnutrition and seeing family members literally die of hunger, you may have the hand of the prince in marriage if you can lift his curse.”

“Okay, yeah, I’m pretty sure I can do that.  I’ve got some good fairies backing me up, and also half the animal kingdom.”

“That’s very impressive.”

“Yeah, I did a lot of really random stuff and went vegan for a while, and now apparently everything under the sun owes me.“

“Well, you’ll enjoy your time as a princess, then!”

“Well, before we do that, I thought maybe we should talk about why the curse was put on him in the first place.  Maybe you could tell me who did it, and why, and if we know where they are now.  Maybe we could sort of come up with a plan for dealing with them.  You know, after I break the curse.”

“Why would we do that?”

“Well, somebody sort of turned the prince into a giant fish and made it so fishermen can’t stop trying to catch him, so it seems like they might just try something else if we undo that.  I want to be ready.”

“Nonsense.  This curse was a one-time thing.”

“The witch still lives like right next door, yes?”

“Yes, but she’s calmed down a lot since she did this.”

“She just turned a guy into a newt last week.”

“But she likes us now.”

“Not enough to undo the curse, though.”

“Well, no.”

“So, we should probably have a plan, right?”


“Okay, I’m going to keep walking until I find an enchanted prince with more sensible parents.  Peace out, your majesties.”

Son of Haggar part 5

Lance walked into the blue lion, and sat down. He thought for a moment, his father had to be altean. He remember Haggar saying that he had his father hair and skin tone, along with the color marks.

‘His name was Isamu. Your father was a altean soldier, that Farla fell in love with. Before Zarkon’s betrayal.’ The blue lion answered his question without him even asking. Lance grew silence.

“Is he still alive?” A glimmer of hope coming from Lance. There was silence onto the lion of ocean answered.

‘He’s been dead for 10,000 years.’ Lance paused, waited until both Shiro and Pidge entered.

“Ok you heard the mission, we need data logs for Lotor’s next attack.” Shiro said, Lance nodded and started to fly his lion. “There yes go beautiful.” Lance smiled, Pidge rolled his eyes.

Lance thought for a moment, 10,00 years. Either Alteans age close to humans or he isn’t 19 years old.

‘How old am I?…’ Lance thought to his lion, the lion hum scaring both the black and green paladin.

‘9,981 years old, when we crashed on earth. You were put in hibernation, to protect your body from freezing from the cold water. You woke up when you wash up on shore of Cuba. You absorb human’s life span and how they looked. Alteans age slower but not too long.’

Lance nodded as he landed his blue beauty on to a small moon, though large enough to hide her.

'You are very powerful my paladin, even more powerful than Farla.’

Lance stopped and gripped his bayard.

“We’re slipping up, Pidge and I will look for the mission data. Lance you will find any prisoners locked up.” Lance nodded and went his way. As the loud footsteps of the two members left him by.

“Well isn’t Haggar’s little Lavi.” Lance glared at the half altean and galra. “Lotor..” Lance said, Lotor walked over to him and smiled. “Lance is my name not Lavi.” Lotor just smirked “Your mother would be so happy to see you.” He purred.

“We meet again my cub.” The voice behind him said, Lance quickly turn around to see Haggar. His mother, his eyes widened and aimed his bayard to her. His hands were shaking, with a slight hand movement. His bayard fell onto the ground, and Haggar walked over to him.

Lance felt fear raise over him.

'I don’t want to be like her’

'I don’t want to become a monster like her..’

Lance felt long claw like hands grabbed his arms, “There’s no need to be afraid Lavi.” As Haggar pulled off the helmet. She stared at the covered face. “And no need for this..” as her thumb wipe to make the makeup disappear. She smiled fondly at her child. And rubbed her thumb motherly onto Lance’s cheek. Lance froze in fear and tears came down his eyes

“My child”

——————- This takes place after ->