not even fancy

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

what’s most beautiful to me about today’s video, was Dan and Phil’s perspectives on coincidences in the universe. it’s not even that it was nice to see them disagreeing and bantering on screen again, it’s not even that it was nice to get a bigger peek into their mind. 

It’s the weird way they compliment each other. 

Dan’s the guy who looks at the world and see’s beauty in the randomness, in the coincidences and how things come together. Dan’s the guy who believes in luck just about as far as you can throw it, who recognizes that it’s pure chance that something happens, but that at the same time, we’re all master’s of our own individual universes. Dan’s the guy who stops and smiles at the fact that, out of all the possibilities in the universe, he found his best friend on the internet and made an amazing, beautiful career out of it, because of his choices, and not because of luck, or fate, or any of that. 

But Phil… Phil’s the guy who looks at the world and sees magic in everything that transpires. Phil’s the guy who see’s the moon and the sun and the spinning of the earth as far more than just coincidence. Phil’s the guy who walks in two worlds, living a literal magical surrealism, with his head in the clouds but his feet on the ground. Phil’s the guy who can recognize that things are just the way they are, that this is reality and that’s how it will always be, but who see’s the magical currents in the air tying people together, drawing them towards what they’re meant to be and have. Phil’s the guy who looks a coincidence and see’s magic, but even as fanciful as his ideas sometimes may seem, he’s always got one foot on the ground. 

The idea that these two people can come together, and center each other? That’s magic in and of itself. 

I imagine Phil holding Dan tight in his arms when he’s crying and scared because the world just keeps on spinning without him and if he stops moving he’d loose all his chances, and Phil promising him that it’ll all be okay. The world knows how to keep its balance, and there’s something, something there that will keep them both afloat. Maybe, just maybe, some things really do happen for a reason.

I imagine Dan patting Phil on the back after something tragic has happened and reassuring him that not everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, it’s just coincidence in the more purely unmagical way of all, and there’s not always something that can be done to stop it. It’s not Phil’s fault, it’s never his fault, its just the universe, uncaring, staring with cold eyes down at him and doing… what needs to be done. 

  • Isaac: What the hell is that?!
  • Derek confused, looking down at his bags: I went to the farmer’s market....
  • Erica, smirking: I don’t think we can all eat that.
  • Derek: ...
  • Boyd: You weren’t supposed to bring back the farmer.
  • Stiles, looking at his plaid shirt, pointing at the pack while walking away: I’m putting you all up for adoption!
Pepero Day (M)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: Smut, Bestfriend!Yoongi, Valentine’s Day themed

Word count: 5.7k

warnings: Rated M, language, graphic sexual descriptions

A/N: This was meant to be a valentine’s day fic, but it’s a day late, rip. I hope you enjoy it regardless!

Keep reading

french vocabulary - nighttime & getting ready for bed

🌆sunset (m) - coucher de soleil
🌃night(time) (f) - nuit

🌙moon (f) - lune
🌟star (f) - étoile (pl. les étoiles)
💫shooting star (f) - étoile filante
✨a starry night (f) - une nuit étoilée
🌌constellation (f) - constellation

🛏bed (m) - un lit
🛌sheet (m) - un drap (pl. les draps)
⛺️blanket (f) - couverture
👕pajamas (m) - pyjama/s
🐻teddy bear (m) - nounours

👄toothbrush (f) - brosse à dents (to brush your teeth - de te brosser les dents)
💋toothpaste (m) - dentifrice
✅dental floss (m) - fil dentaire
🚿 shower (f) - douche (to shower - de se doucher; to take a shower - de prendre une douche)
🛀🏽to take a bath - de prendre un bain

😚to say goodnight - de dire bonne nuit / bonsoir
😴to sleep - dormir (to fall asleep - s'endormir)
😌to dream - rêver
💤to snore - ronfler

⭐️dream (m) - rêve (pl. les rêves)
🎵lullaby (f) - berceuse
🕚bedtime (f) - (l'heure de) coucher
📖bedtime story (f) - histoire

🌉good night! - bonne nuit !
😘sweet dreams! - fais de beaux rêves !

Crazy the difference makeup and 12 years in Azkaban can make, huh? ;) My makeup on the left was done by the amazing @aegiskitty ; I did the Sirius cosplay makeup on the right. I’m actually more familiar with fx makeup than the regular stuff, so I definitely needed some pointers. Pointer one: we nixed the beard on the left.

The types and what I think of them based on what I've seen from my friends(and probably a little insulting)

~as an INTJ

INTP
- quiet
- can make a bitch face that makes you cry
- probably thinks u stupid
- says that MBTI is shit
- fashionista
- has an ENFP friend(“ENFP no!”)
- savage
- that friend who has ultra weird ideas when drunk
- probably most adorable smile on earth
- smart
- most of the time just rising eyebrows and blinking

ENTJ
- bossy af
- prima ballerina
- she is beauty she is grace
- she will punch you in da face
- always in warm socks
- also an actress
- knows how to build things
- basically good at everything
- will shout at you if you do something wrong
- probably slept with almost all male friends

ENTP
- a n n o y i n g AF
- never shuts up
- meme queen
- so loud
- not funny jokes
- make up queen
- at least smart
- thinks she’s better than you(and maybe she is)
- if you take a sip from her mug u die
- has an ENFP slave
- kinda selfish
- another fashionista
- if she laughs the whole room laughs with her
- soooo much self confidence wow

INFP
- THAT SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE
- garbage lord
- writer buddy
- has ton of OC’s AND GAY SHIPS
- cannot into decisions
- junky food
- understands(really)
- don’t like loud people
- constant lala land
- savage without even noticing
- 4w5
- has 8 minute long video of herself eating french fries on her phone
- impressive self control
- cute laugh
- cute
- the best person to rant with

ENFP
- can’t stay in one place for a minute
- suddenly disappears in a middle of a party
- daydreaming a lot
- cheerful
- likes to drink A LOT
- too many friends
- nice for everyone ugh
- that laugh which sounds like a puppy riding a pink bicycle in a tuxedo
- can bring ENTP back to earth

ENFJ
- mom friend
- has too many friends HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE
- gonna steal your friends without even noticing
- likes fancy drinks and kitschy things
- obsessed with doggos
- sudden outbursts of anger
- hypochondriac
- really anxious when driving
- doesn’t understand a concept of a personal space

ISTJ
- another bitch face
- can rise one eyebrow HOW U DO DIS?????
- doesn’t understand memes
- smart
- lack of self confidence
- secretly hates u
- wears comfy clothes but looks so good
- has a lot of savings but hardly ever uses them
- they knows better ok? don’t even try to tell them that they are wrong
- don’t particularly like pets
- perfect teeth
- so so so smart once again
- sometimes are rather calm but sometimes… don’t ask

ESTJ
- that kid who asks too many questions during your presentation
- constant bitch face
- hot
- stingy
- falls asleep during parties
- a rant person
- bossy
- hard working
- teachers like her

ESFJ
- will help you EVEN WHEN YOU HAVENT ASKED FOR HELP
- has a lot of friends
- drinks a lot
- hard-working
- daddy’s little princess/mama’s boy
- assertive
- smoking a lot
- tells everyone what to do

ISTP
- white Kanye West
- would kill u if u did something with his shoes
- likes weird electronic genres of music I can’t even name
- on 9gag all the time
- knows all memes
- League of Legends pro player
- can make funny faces
- looks like he was angry
- black humor(especially likes jokes about Jews)
- awkward silence gains a whole new meaning

ESFP
- the whitest person I know
- “what do u meat it was sexist?? it was funny!!!!”
- only wears yellow pants
- likes PE teacher probably a little too much
- can’t find a girlfriend
- will massage your feet if u don’t watch them properly
- has stupid ideas
- likes basically every person
- drinks wine at parties even though he says that true man should drink only vodka
- don’t know when someone is mean to him

ESTP
- loud
- hey lets go to the another city and get drunk!!! because why not
- class clown
- talks about her life too much like seriously
- and also about various secretions of her body
- probably gonna end up in jail
- smart and stupid at the same time
- lazy
- has problems with concentration
- talkative
- has problems with self-esteem which she covers acting out like a douche

Don’t take this personally lol